Divorced Man’s Advice For Young Men
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
179.12512
Summary
In this episode, I speak to a man who has a pre-nuptial agreement in place between his wife and their son. We discuss the benefits and risks of pre-nup and how it can be used to protect your children.
Transcript
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rare so what are ways to mitigate risk were there any was there anything you could have done to
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mitigate the risk if i had my time again and i believe this should actually in this day and age
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i believe this should be mandatory for any marriage going forward
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be even the birth of your or before the birth of your first child or at the point your first
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marriage is you have to sign a prenuptial agreement and it has to be signed by a judge
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so when you get married you have to get well in america you have to get a license
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get a similar sort of marriage license in the uk okay at that point that's when a prenuptial
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agreement needs to be put into place yeah um uh at the birth of the first or near the birth of the
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first child at the point where you go with birth certificate to register their name that's when
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it also should be done um and i believe there should be a template where everything is 50 50
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where it's both agreed to the point where you're most happiest
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um the point when really you're hoping no one's gonna argue against it you go oh yeah of course
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we're gonna do fish why why wouldn't we do that because i had conversations with my ex-wife
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seeing parents with their kids breaking them up and saw it you know seeing what they were doing
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i'd never do that with my kid you know i was saying i would never do that with ernie and she was
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oh i wouldn't do that either i'd make sure that wow so she told you i would never do that
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i can't believe and so many friends have said that as well and i said but what happens if you do break
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up okay oh i think we just get on with it and said that's what i thought you know i don't mean to be
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a stick there and i've always said to so many people um most loveliest couples i go have you
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got a prenuptial agreement in place and it's not so much just because to prevent someone being nasty
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you just make the whole process easier there is no argument so i believe as part of a marriage
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license there should be a prenuptial agreement a template one you know the government goes right
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unless you actually know because not everybody is legal minded
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so in the first instance it should be a basic template and and also determines uh parental
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forget you know if it's first child and that will go here's the first child prenuptial agreement
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any future children on top of that regardless of marriage or not um at the point of marriage
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prenuptial agreement of all assets and children and you know kind of 50 50 you basically put in there
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standard 50 50 so 50 50 split prenup is there anything else yeah financial assets so what a
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prenuptial agreement will be financial assets anyway okay as well as children yeah um and
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financial assets children any businesses i guess okay which will be part of financial but um
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pensions is substantial she took 40 30 of my pensions 30 of your pensions even the pensions i
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accumulated before we met wow um for seven years together she took 30 a year that's crazy got robbed
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yeah um what about you guys as savings would she take those um wow originally here's the thing i had a
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letter from a solicitor saying we're going to green we're a clean break we're not going to touch your
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pensions not going to cut touch your savings but we'll do something for the house and then she
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won't have gone home center of all profits in the house nothing fair down the line um when it got to
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actually to court they totally denied we had that had that conversation and then went for pensions
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also by that point i was bankrupt anyway i had no money and they didn't take you for much because
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she really took everything um they actually even though i was already bankrupt they were saying
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to the judge he's threatening to go bankrupt i'm already bankrupt i've already been declared
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um yeah were you able to see your son when you you mentioned you were homeless for a period of time
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um i had to see uh so yes so that was last year
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because i was in a hostel obviously even if i could seem to take my son now i never would have done
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you know um never in a million years would i ever done
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um so i would take my son to hotels when it was cheap enough for me to do so
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when it became summer obviously when things skyrocket for hotel prices i had camping equipment
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um and i took him camping all summer because that was the only way i could see him so it wasn't just
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about holidays it was the only way i could see him so i'd be going away from a friday to a sunday
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or it was a bank holiday weekend friday to the monday just so i could see him um so going to proper
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camping sites you know family-orientated camping sites um once we would camp as long as we camped
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for was eight days and then there was a couple of six and seven there was a six and a seven and a few
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like four or five day ones are you still in court now no no you're done and it's settled basically
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you see him every two weeks every two weeks um uh and you think after all this time
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everything should be moved on but every six to eight weeks she tries to get me involved in an
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argument of some sort so she can claim argumentative behavior so every six to eight weeks how does she
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do that she calls you so for example um i had my son's sports day and she said to me please don't sit
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near me um uh please don't sit near me um because i'm scared of you and i said don't be so stupid
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i'm not going to get involved in this my son was next to his mother you know his mother i am not
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going to ignore my son for you um another one was i was going to a birthday party of one of my sons
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and one of her friends um like an informant if you like was that was there and all of a sudden i
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had this message from my ex going oh don't worry about bringing him back home um my friend is going
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to bring him home i said i don't know your friend so i'm going to do it i'm his father no i want you
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to bring her home her to bring him home i said no i'm not going to do it i'm going to take my son
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home to you it was like 10 minute it was like 10 20 minute journey from it was closer to her house
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than mine and that then caused an argument i was being argumentative um she was scared of me at the
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front door didn't want me at her front door um when i went to this kid's party this friend of hers
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had mixed everything up already that i was being argumentative that i didn't want her you know i
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didn't trust her friend how dare i not trust her and does she try to take you to court again after
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this or what i don't think she will ever take me to court i'd have to take her to court okay um so
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there was a time when i said about um when i sold my car she said to me she gave me five days to agree
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to her changes um if i don't agree to it i can't see her any and then over five days i had an email
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every day two more days to go yeah three more days to go two more days to go if you don't agree to it
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then we're just going to accept going to understand you need to agree to this there was no option to
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reject if you don't agree to it then you know you're not going to see him um and she was
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if i didn't agree to it i would she said you'll have to go back to court
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this is crazy i can't believe this is legal actually um
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but yeah i'd like to say i love my son and i would do anything i've got to for him
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um i've now got a flat now which is lucky through housing association because obviously
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in a hostel i couldn't work and whatever right do you have a new job not at the moment no so i've
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had to during that time my health went so far down i can imagine yeah um i realized at the beginning of
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january i had to get my health back to scratch i was in the hostel so i couldn't go anywhere anyway
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i wasn't allowed to work believe it or not these systems are you weren't allowed to work
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no so if you're in a hostel right believe it or not they say you need you know we're going to help
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you get out of this situation but they won't let you work out of the situation oh wow so how would
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you get out if you can't work i have to wait to get a house through housing association okay which
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can take up to two and a half years wow i i was out in 11 months so they're almost like making you
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they're making it almost impossible make it look easy yeah but it's impossible