JustPearlyThings - May 22, 2023


Drunk Feminist Gets Kicked Out Of The Show


Episode Stats


Length

7 minutes

Words per minute

209.69989

Word count

1,656

Sentence count

140

Harmful content

Misogyny

13

sentences flagged

Toxicity

4

sentences flagged

Hate speech

1

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, I speak to a woman who shares her experience of splitting up with her partner and how it affected her relationship with her daughter. We discuss the importance of being a good parent to your kids and how important it is to have a good relationship with them.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 My divorce, it took me 10 years after my splitting for my partner and having my daughter that we chose to get divorced because we both had different partners and I wanted the best for my daughter.
00:00:14.120 Wait, say that again.
00:00:14.900 Say what?
00:00:15.580 So when I got divorced, I'd already split for my partner and I'd already been living in London for a long time.
00:00:24.960 So you were separated?
00:00:26.060 Yeah, for a long time, for a long time.
00:00:28.140 But I wanted the best for my daughter.
00:00:29.800 So I used to be able to go home to my partner's house and I'd stay with them and have Christmas dinner with them and I'd stay in my daughter's room.
00:00:37.720 And I had the, you know, I can't say everyone would have this, but I was quite fortunate that I had that relationship because I wanted the best for my daughter.
00:00:46.100 But do you not think the best for your daughter would have been to stay with her father?
00:00:49.420 No, not if two people are not truly in love with each other and she sees us argue every day.
00:00:54.580 No.
00:00:55.240 Wouldn't a better solution to be, wouldn't a better solution be to just not argue every day?
00:01:00.880 Well, I'll ask you this.
00:01:03.460 When you have children and you get yourself into that position and you truly don't, then you come back and let's have this podcast again.
00:01:11.500 Let's answer that question again because I don't think.
00:01:13.860 Could you just answer the question?
00:01:15.380 Like, I understand I don't have kids and you keep bringing this up.
00:01:18.380 Like, you don't have kids?
00:01:19.100 Yeah.
00:01:19.180 Yeah, okay, I know.
00:01:19.920 So, so my question is, wouldn't a better solution be to just not argue every day for the kids?
00:01:25.960 Because that's impossible.
00:01:27.460 How is it impossible?
00:01:28.640 It takes two people to argue.
00:01:31.380 How many relationships do people have?
00:01:34.720 Like, you can't, what are you going to say?
00:01:36.780 What I did, what was the best for my child when I split up is that me and my partner had the best relationship.
00:01:43.020 I went, let me finish, I went to my back home.
00:01:46.460 So I played the role of the father as the mother and the father and I spent every month with my daughter.
00:01:53.120 I paid every month.
00:01:54.900 I went there every month.
00:01:56.560 I made sure she was okay from every day up until she was 18 years old.
00:02:00.880 I made sure she's had everything and she's still here with me now.
00:02:04.160 And I don't know how many fathers can truly say, actually, even if they do that.
00:02:08.760 And when you have kids.
00:02:10.880 So you're saying you paid 100% for your son or your daughter?
00:02:14.880 Yeah, I did.
00:02:15.060 My daughter, no, my daughter.
00:02:16.880 Okay, and he didn't pay at all or did he have her?
00:02:19.800 I did a reversed role.
00:02:21.880 So rather than the father going off and leave, the mother went off and worked. 0.82
00:02:27.660 So it was just a reversed role.
00:02:29.660 Okay.
00:02:30.060 I was very fortunate as well because Nedda's dad, my ex, he always, I mean, the first two, three years, obviously because of divorce, we were going through, you know, madness up and down.
00:02:39.740 But after two, three years that I settled down with her and he, he was saying, actually, I'm not divorced because I want to go around and look for boys.
00:02:49.040 He actually, he actually realized I'm a really good mom.
00:02:52.100 And we had a great, we, right now he's my best friend.
00:02:55.200 Yeah.
00:02:55.620 He's my best friend.
00:02:56.600 And Nedda is seeing his dad.
00:02:58.220 My ex-husband was my best friend.
00:02:59.520 Every weekend.
00:03:00.500 So.
00:03:00.720 It almost seems like it could have been worked out if they were your best friends.
00:03:04.220 No.
00:03:04.720 Sounds like the same to me.
00:03:06.420 Because I just, this just doesn't.
00:03:08.220 Are you married?
00:03:08.580 I am married.
00:03:09.280 It just, it just.
00:03:10.200 Okay.
00:03:10.400 Have you got children?
00:03:11.500 Two.
00:03:12.660 Right.
00:03:13.000 So when you split up, come back.
00:03:14.660 And then, and then.
00:03:15.320 But let me tell you.
00:03:16.340 Why would you wish that on him?
00:03:18.260 Because I don't.
00:03:18.800 Why would you wish him splitting up?
00:03:20.580 Because like, right now you're happily married and you've got two children.
00:03:24.280 But there was no personal responsibility.
00:03:26.220 Look, I was in a very similar situation.
00:03:28.340 I'm going to say, I didn't do everything that I could have done to make sure that we
00:03:32.520 stopped arguing.
00:03:33.720 It got to a point where it could have gotten really bad.
00:03:37.580 And my daughter was six at the time.
00:03:39.500 I didn't find a way.
00:03:41.120 Like, you've got to take some personal responsibility instead of saying it's not possible.
00:03:44.160 Because I don't want people her age to listen to us and be like, oh, well, if it doesn't
00:03:49.460 work out and we argue, let's just have a relationship.
00:03:51.600 Especially if there's kids involved.
00:03:52.660 You've got to give them another choice.
00:03:54.440 Like, look, I didn't have the strength at the time.
00:03:57.500 My grandma, who's 90 years old, told me just the other day, like two weeks ago, yeah,
00:04:02.340 that me and my wife need to stay together, regardless of anything, just for the sake
00:04:06.880 of the fact that we have a three-year-old daughter.
00:04:08.060 And I appreciate, you know what, you know what, you just hit the nail on the head because
00:04:11.020 I appreciate what your grandma said at 90 years old.
00:04:13.720 Did she have Instagram?
00:04:15.260 Did she have social media?
00:04:17.000 Get off Instagram.
00:04:18.020 Get off, sir.
00:04:18.740 I'm not on it.
00:04:19.240 No, no, no, no.
00:04:20.160 Listen.
00:04:20.940 If my wife is going to be tempted by social media. 1.00
00:04:24.960 Instagram on why I'm married to you, did you?
00:04:26.380 By a glass mirror, by the black mirror, then she doesn't interview my wife. 0.94
00:04:29.880 No, it's not just Instagram.
00:04:32.360 It's our social lifestyle to, if you look at the traditional marriage, to look at a traditional
00:04:38.800 marriage now.
00:04:39.140 Is that more important than working on your relationship?
00:04:43.160 Fair question, to be fair.
00:04:43.780 Really, is Instagram really that much more important?
00:04:45.760 Is living your social life that much more important?
00:04:48.340 But how social is it if you're just on your phone scrolling?
00:04:50.700 It's not like you're out with other people, you know what I mean?
00:04:52.100 I'm sorry, but 20 years ago, I didn't have a phone to scroll on.
00:04:55.880 Exactly.
00:04:56.600 And you could have worked on different things.
00:04:58.220 No, no, no, no.
00:04:59.440 No, it didn't work that way because we just weren't compatible.
00:05:03.380 No, I think that's going to say something.
00:05:04.520 You're going to think you sat in the other and had a conversation?
00:05:06.640 There's people, okay, there's people that think they're compatible.
00:05:10.200 They don't stay in marriages. 1.00
00:05:10.800 No, I say you did the wrong thing, but.
00:05:13.740 I think there's going to be millions of people that are going to ask you why you think that
00:05:19.560 they've done wrong and they're going to come and say to you, good luck to you right now.
00:05:23.660 We are going to marriage and your two children.
00:05:25.980 I think that's wrong.
00:05:26.480 That's not wrong.
00:05:27.640 Instead of telling young people, no.
00:05:29.180 I wish you all the best, my brother.
00:05:30.920 Do whatever you can.
00:05:32.180 Do not give up.
00:05:33.240 Work on it.
00:05:34.320 Like what his grandma said, like you've got to do whatever it takes, not just to stay
00:05:39.200 married, but to stay in a healthy marriage.
00:05:41.440 Do you know what I mean?
00:05:42.000 Not like staying and arguing.
00:05:43.540 Yeah, I didn't break up because of my daughter, because I didn't want her to see the arguments.
00:05:47.880 But Pearl just hit on the nail. 1.00
00:05:49.560 You're talking about, okay, so let's take, you're going to take.
00:05:52.340 And that's more of a traditional thing to stay together for the sake of the child.
00:05:55.800 So you're going to talk about.
00:05:56.960 Okay, okay, okay, okay, lady, lady, lady, lady, okay, okay, lady, lady, lady, okay, she's 1.00
00:06:06.740 got to go.
00:06:07.340 She's got to go.
00:06:07.740 She's got to go.
00:06:08.740 She's got to go.
00:06:08.820 No, I'm not drunk.
00:06:09.480 You're talking about domestic abuse.
00:06:10.900 You are too drunk.
00:06:11.140 I didn't say domestic abuse.
00:06:12.960 No, she's got to go.
00:06:14.860 I didn't say that.
00:06:15.880 Don't.
00:06:16.480 Jesus.
00:06:16.880 I drew for the head for you.
00:06:18.280 She's got to go.
00:06:19.280 She's got to go.
00:06:20.280 Why?
00:06:21.280 Lord of mercy.
00:06:22.280 One moment.
00:06:23.280 Put your hands on me. 0.78
00:06:24.460 It's time to go.
00:06:25.560 I'm saying to you.
00:06:26.240 Thank you.
00:06:28.240 I want my phone.
00:06:29.620 Yeah, I want my phone.
00:06:30.700 Lord of mercy.
00:06:31.400 Thank you.
00:06:32.060 I want my phone.
00:06:33.060 Go get your phone.
00:06:34.060 Please stop.
00:06:35.060 Yo, what's going on?
00:06:36.440 Ellen didn't do anything to you. 1.00
00:06:38.060 What's going on?
00:06:39.060 Get your hands off me. 1.00
00:06:39.980 I don't know.
00:06:40.800 What's going on?
00:06:41.700 Get your hands off me now. 1.00
00:06:43.500 Get your fucking hands off me. 1.00
00:06:44.780 No one's done. 1.00
00:06:45.880 They're going to watch this podcast.
00:06:46.820 Oh my god I get litty boy
00:06:51.820 Gin and juice boy
00:06:53.820 Kids stay in school
00:06:55.820 Stop Sam it's okay just come on out
00:06:58.820 Kids stay in school
00:07:00.820 Grab her shoes
00:07:01.820 Stay in school kids
00:07:03.820 Don't drink alcohol
00:07:05.820 Especially gin and juice
00:07:07.820 From whatever happened between you two I knew
00:07:09.820 Don't drink it baby
00:07:10.820 I told her
00:07:11.820 Sorry?
00:07:12.820 I said
00:07:13.820 That girl got litty 1.00
00:07:15.820 Because she spoke to me in a certain tone
00:07:17.820 I just said to her calm down 1.00
00:07:18.820 Yeah you set her straight still
00:07:19.820 I heard that
00:07:20.820 And then she tried it and I went
00:07:21.820 I'm not upset with you
00:07:22.820 Then what happened with that kiss and that?
00:07:23.820 And then she goes
00:07:24.820 I know you're the real one
00:07:25.820 I know you're the real one
00:07:26.820 Yeah she's been trying to rattle people's cages from the start you know 1.00
00:07:28.820 I tell her I know
00:07:29.820 I hate that guy
00:07:31.820 You know 0.96
00:07:32.820 I just can't be bothered anymore
00:07:33.820 Okay
00:07:34.820 Alright
00:07:35.820 I think the show starts now Perley
00:07:37.820 Let's go let's go let's have fun
00:07:38.820 You know I was just banned on TikTok
00:07:41.820 And we are demonetised on a daily basis on this platform
00:07:44.820 If you want to help please consider sending a super thanks below
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