JustPearlyThings - April 22, 2023


Drunken Post Wall Bimbo Gets Kicked Out


Episode Stats


Length

11 minutes

Words per minute

204.65184

Word count

2,361

Sentence count

289

Harmful content

Misogyny

16

sentences flagged

Hate speech

1

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, I speak to a man who has been through a very similar situation with his wife and daughter. We discuss the importance of being a good parent to your children and how important it is to have a good relationship with them.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 My divorce, it took me 10 years after my splitting for my partner and having my daughter that we chose to get divorced because we both had different partners and I wanted the best for my daughter.
00:00:14.120 Wait, say that again.
00:00:14.900 Say what?
00:00:15.580 So when I got divorced, I'd already split for my partner and I'd already been living in London for a long time.
00:00:24.960 So you were separated?
00:00:26.060 Yeah, for a long time, for a long time.
00:00:28.140 But I wanted the best for my daughter.
00:00:29.800 So I used to be able to go home to my partner's house and I'd stay with them and have Christmas dinner with them and I'd stay in my daughter's room.
00:00:37.720 And I had the, you know, I can't say everyone would have this, but I was quite fortunate that I had that relationship because I wanted the best for my daughter.
00:00:46.100 But do you not think the best for your daughter would have been to stay with her father?
00:00:49.420 No, not if two people are not truly in love with each other and she sees us argue every day.
00:00:54.580 No.
00:00:55.240 Wouldn't a better solution to be, wouldn't a better solution be to just not argue every day?
00:01:00.880 Well, I'll ask you this.
00:01:03.460 When you have children and you get yourself into that position and you truly don't, then you come back and let's have this podcast again.
00:01:11.500 Let's answer that question again because I don't think.
00:01:13.860 Could you just answer the question?
00:01:15.380 Like, I understand I don't have kids and you keep bringing this up.
00:01:18.380 Like, you don't have kids?
00:01:19.100 Yeah.
00:01:19.180 Yeah, okay, I know.
00:01:19.920 So, so my question is, wouldn't a better solution be to just not argue every day for the kids?
00:01:25.960 Because that's impossible.
00:01:27.460 How is it impossible?
00:01:28.640 It takes two people to argue.
00:01:31.380 How many relationships do people have?
00:01:34.720 Like, you can't, what are you going to say?
00:01:36.780 What I did, what was the best for my child when I split up is that me and my partner had the best relationship.
00:01:43.020 I went, let me finish, I went to my back home.
00:01:46.460 So I played the role of the father as the mother and the father and I spent every month with my daughter.
00:01:53.120 I paid every month.
00:01:54.900 I went there every month.
00:01:56.560 I made sure she was okay from every day up until she was 18 years old.
00:02:00.880 I made sure she's had everything and she's still here with me now.
00:02:04.160 And I don't know how many fathers can truly say, actually, even if they do that.
00:02:08.760 And when you have kids.
00:02:10.880 So you're saying you paid 100% for your son or your daughter?
00:02:14.880 Yeah, I did.
00:02:15.060 My daughter, no, my daughter.
00:02:16.880 Okay, and he didn't pay at all or did he have her?
00:02:19.800 I did a reversed role.
00:02:21.880 So rather than the father going off and leave, the mother went off and worked. 0.82
00:02:27.660 So it was just a reversed role.
00:02:29.660 Okay.
00:02:30.060 I was very fortunate as well because Nedda's dad, my ex, he always, I mean, the first two, three years, obviously because of divorce, we were going through, you know, madness up and down.
00:02:39.740 But after two, three years that I settled down with her and he, he was saying, actually, I'm not divorced because I want to go around and look for boys.
00:02:49.040 He actually, he actually realized I'm a really good mom.
00:02:52.100 And we had a great, we, right now he's my best friend.
00:02:55.200 Yeah.
00:02:55.620 He's my best friend.
00:02:56.600 And Nedda is seeing his dad.
00:02:58.220 My ex-husband was my best friend.
00:02:59.520 Every weekend.
00:03:00.500 So.
00:03:00.720 It almost seems like it could have been worked out if they were your best friends.
00:03:04.220 No.
00:03:04.720 Sounds like the same to me.
00:03:06.420 Because I just, this just doesn't.
00:03:08.220 Are you married?
00:03:08.580 I am married.
00:03:09.280 It just, it just.
00:03:10.200 Okay.
00:03:10.400 Have you got children?
00:03:11.500 Two.
00:03:12.660 Right.
00:03:13.000 So when you split up, come back.
00:03:14.660 And then, and then.
00:03:15.320 But let me tell you.
00:03:16.340 Why would you wish that on him?
00:03:18.260 Because I don't.
00:03:18.800 Why would you wish him splitting up?
00:03:20.580 Because like, right now you're happily married and you've got two children.
00:03:24.280 But there was no personal responsibility.
00:03:26.220 Look, I was in a very similar situation.
00:03:28.340 I'm going to say, I didn't do everything that I could have done to make sure that we
00:03:32.520 stopped arguing.
00:03:33.720 It got to a point where it could have gotten really bad.
00:03:37.580 And my daughter was six at the time.
00:03:39.500 I didn't find a way.
00:03:41.120 Like, you've got to take some personal responsibility instead of saying it's not possible.
00:03:44.160 Because I don't want people her age to listen to us and be like, oh, well, if it doesn't
00:03:49.460 work out and we argue, let's just have a relationship.
00:03:51.600 Especially if there's kids involved.
00:03:52.660 You've got to give them another choice.
00:03:54.440 Like, look, I didn't have the strength at the time.
00:03:57.500 My grandma, who's 90 years old, told me just the other day, like two weeks ago, yeah,
00:04:02.340 that me and my wife need to stay together, regardless of anything, just for the sake
00:04:06.880 of the fact that we have a three-year-old daughter.
00:04:08.060 And I appreciate, you know what, you know what, you just hit the nail on the head because
00:04:11.020 I appreciate what your grandma said at 90 years old.
00:04:13.720 Did she have Instagram?
00:04:15.260 Did she have social media?
00:04:17.000 Get off Instagram.
00:04:18.020 Get off, sir.
00:04:18.740 I'm not on it.
00:04:19.240 No, no, no, no.
00:04:20.160 Listen.
00:04:20.940 If my wife is going to be tempted by social media. 1.00
00:04:24.960 Instagram on why I'm married to you, did you?
00:04:26.380 By a glass mirror, by the black mirror, then she doesn't interview my wife. 0.94
00:04:29.880 No, it's not just Instagram.
00:04:32.360 It's our social lifestyle to, if you look at the traditional marriage, to look at a traditional
00:04:38.800 marriage now.
00:04:39.140 Is that more important than working on your relationship?
00:04:43.160 Fair question, to be fair.
00:04:43.780 Really, is Instagram really that much more important?
00:04:45.760 Is living your social life that much more important?
00:04:48.340 But how social is it if you're just on your phone scrolling?
00:04:50.700 It's not like you're out with other people, you know what I mean?
00:04:52.100 I'm sorry, but 20 years ago, I didn't have a phone to scroll on.
00:04:55.880 Exactly.
00:04:56.600 And you could have worked on different things.
00:04:58.220 No, no, no, no.
00:04:59.440 No, it didn't work that way because we just weren't compatible.
00:05:03.380 No, I think that's going to say something.
00:05:04.520 You're going to think you sat in the other and had a conversation?
00:05:06.640 There's people, okay, there's people that think they're compatible.
00:05:10.200 They don't stay in marriages. 1.00
00:05:10.800 No, I say you did the wrong thing, but.
00:05:13.740 I think there's going to be millions of people that are going to ask you why you think that
00:05:19.560 they've done wrong and they're going to come and say to you, good luck to you right now.
00:05:23.680 Will you be your marriage and your two children?
00:05:25.940 I think that's wrong.
00:05:26.460 That's not wrong.
00:05:27.600 Instead of telling young people, no.
00:05:29.140 I wish you all the best, my brother.
00:05:30.900 Do whatever you can.
00:05:32.180 Do not give up.
00:05:33.060 I wish you all the best.
00:05:33.400 Work on it.
00:05:34.180 Like what his grandma said, like you've got to do whatever it takes, not just to stay married,
00:05:39.660 but to stay in a healthy marriage.
00:05:41.480 Do you know what I mean?
00:05:42.020 Not like staying and arguing.
00:05:43.540 Yeah, I didn't break up because of my daughter because I didn't want her to see the arguments.
00:05:47.880 But Pearl just hit on the nail. 1.00
00:05:49.560 You're talking about, okay, so let's take, you're going to take.
00:05:52.340 And that's more of a traditional thing to stay together for the sake of the child.
00:05:55.800 So you're going to talk about.
00:05:56.960 Okay, okay, okay, okay, lady, lady, lady, lady, okay, okay, lady, lady, okay, she's got to go. 0.97
00:06:07.340 She's got to go.
00:06:08.080 She's got to go.
00:06:08.760 No, I'm not drunk.
00:06:09.480 You're talking about domestic abuse.
00:06:11.140 I didn't say domestic abuse.
00:06:12.960 No, she's got to go.
00:06:14.880 I didn't say that.
00:06:15.880 Don't.
00:06:16.460 Jesus, I drew for the head for you.
00:06:18.280 She's got to go.
00:06:19.280 Why?
00:06:19.320 Why?
00:06:19.380 I'm saying a healthy marriage.
00:06:20.240 If you put your hands on me, I'll hold the police.
00:06:22.260 One moment.
00:06:23.440 Put your hands on me. 0.78
00:06:24.820 It's time to go.
00:06:25.540 I'm saying to you.
00:06:27.200 Why?
00:06:27.820 Thank you.
00:06:28.240 I want my phone.
00:06:29.940 I want my phone.
00:06:30.700 I want my phone.
00:06:30.800 I want my phone.
00:06:31.380 Thank you.
00:06:31.960 She's going to give it to you.
00:06:32.780 Go get your phone.
00:06:35.060 Yo, what's going on?
00:06:36.420 Ellen didn't do anything to you. 1.00
00:06:37.660 What's going on?
00:06:38.960 Get your hands off me. 1.00
00:06:39.960 Open up.
00:06:40.300 What's going on?
00:06:41.200 Get your hands off me now. 1.00
00:06:43.000 Get your fucking hands off me. 1.00
00:06:44.720 Oh my god, I get litty, boy.
00:06:51.960 Gin and juice, boy.
00:06:54.520 Kids, stay in school.
00:06:55.600 Get out of here.
00:06:55.720 Get out of here.
00:06:56.220 Stop, Sam.
00:06:56.440 It's okay.
00:06:57.520 Just come on out.
00:06:59.000 Kids, stay in school.
00:07:00.020 Grab her shoes.
00:07:01.200 Stay in school, kids.
00:07:03.860 Don't drink alcohol.
00:07:06.060 Especially gin and juice.
00:07:07.880 From whatever happened between you two, I knew.
00:07:10.040 Don't drink it, baby.
00:07:10.880 I told her, I said, I don't know what I said to her, I said, can't stand.
00:07:14.280 That girl got litty, brother. 1.00
00:07:15.840 Because she spoke to me in a certain tone, I just said to her, calm down.
00:07:18.480 Yeah, you set her straight still, I heard that.
00:07:20.600 And then she tried it, and I went, I'm not upset with you.
00:07:22.060 Then what happened with that kiss and that?
00:07:23.180 And then she goes, I know you're the real one.
00:07:25.780 I know you're the real one.
00:07:26.540 Yeah, she's been trying to rattle people's cage from the start, you know. 1.00
00:07:28.960 I tell her, I know, I hate that guy, you know.
00:07:32.320 I just can't be bothered anymore.
00:07:35.120 All right, I think the show starts now, Perley.
00:07:37.660 Let's go, let's go, let's have fun.
00:07:38.900 Because you're combining in the answers to what people will give up for social media or for their relationship.
00:07:43.880 Yes.
00:07:44.380 That's a patient.
00:07:45.240 There's a virtue, by the way.
00:07:47.500 Oh, Lord.
00:07:48.360 You've got a dangerous smile, you've got to stop smiling over here.
00:07:50.740 I look good to come in, old golden.
00:07:52.340 Don't smile over here.
00:07:53.880 It's a bit shiny, but yeah, I like it.
00:07:55.340 I'm hating the camera now.
00:07:56.640 Why?
00:07:57.380 I don't know.
00:07:57.720 I need a hat, man.
00:07:58.620 Look at my forehead.
00:07:59.580 Listening.
00:08:01.400 No, you're doing all right, brother.
00:08:02.760 Yeah, Perley clips.
00:08:03.600 Oh, what's going on?
00:08:05.140 She's still talking.
00:08:05.900 Security, can you please, sir?
00:08:08.320 No, I'm not.
00:08:09.180 You and I.
00:08:12.740 This is going to be a YouTube short.
00:08:15.040 I'm certain of that.
00:08:16.280 Backstage.
00:08:17.180 Matthew said it was going to go viral today, as well, you know.
00:08:19.420 You guys like us, subscribe.
00:08:21.100 Yeah.
00:08:21.640 Have you had this experience, Perley things?
00:08:23.720 Yeah, I think those are her, yeah.
00:08:24.400 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:08:25.380 Level four on the Patreon.
00:08:28.420 Wow.
00:08:29.080 Guys, she's not from London, by the way.
00:08:30.440 She's from Manchester.
00:08:31.100 This is what happens.
00:08:32.920 The Manchester madness.
00:08:34.320 The actress.
00:08:36.700 Just close at the door, man.
00:08:38.100 Yeah, close your mouth as well.
00:08:39.540 This is mine.
00:08:40.760 Thank you.
00:08:42.320 You just been throwing out random bags in there, yeah?
00:08:45.280 Oh, boy.
00:08:46.900 Oh, I'm sorry.
00:08:47.560 Help me!
00:08:48.100 Get away from me! 1.00
00:08:49.880 Help me!
00:08:50.680 That is a shame, Lord.
00:08:53.560 Shambles.
00:08:54.040 That grape alarm's going to go off.
00:08:55.220 I think you're 46, you know?
00:08:56.380 You're nearly a half a decade.
00:08:58.040 She's the oldest one here.
00:08:59.400 Literally.
00:09:00.360 She's the oldest one here, mate.
00:09:01.760 Grandma.
00:09:02.480 But that's what makes me cringe.
00:09:05.080 I had a feeling she was...
00:09:06.320 Hey, listen, you held your nerve, you know?
00:09:08.580 I'll be real.
00:09:09.100 I was like...
00:09:09.860 I thought you were going to get her out much sooner, but...
00:09:12.020 It's her show.
00:09:13.280 I think the show starts now, guys.
00:09:15.440 Just Pearly Things.
00:09:16.220 Just Pearly.
00:09:17.000 Not just Samantha Tings, no.
00:09:19.140 Wow.
00:09:19.420 Just to help out with the show, I'm happy to sit in the middle there.
00:09:23.040 Just to, you know...
00:09:24.220 Yeah, yeah, that's fine.
00:09:26.200 Yeah, guys, they're going to make sure that she's not giving her...
00:09:29.600 Like, she's going to give her stuff and just make sure it's not yours.
00:09:32.560 I'll talk to the guys for now.
00:09:34.480 Just to help out with the show, pal.
00:09:36.220 I'm more than happy to sit there.
00:09:37.860 I'm more than happy to sit there.
00:09:38.940 Don't sit next to her, man.
00:09:40.140 Help out for the...
00:09:41.220 I think you'll help the algorithm.
00:09:44.940 I think you'll help the algorithm.
00:09:46.820 I think if I sit there.
00:09:48.360 I think so.
00:09:48.980 That mic looks very unoccupied.
00:09:51.300 You know how quick, like, women claim assault? 1.00
00:09:54.080 So she's like, I was assaulted.
00:09:55.780 And I was like...
00:09:56.060 Ridiculous.
00:09:56.760 Lady, you wouldn't get up. 0.99
00:09:58.380 Literally.
00:09:58.880 What?
00:09:59.580 Whoa.
00:10:00.780 I'm sure in the docusign, it indemnifies my man from anything anyway.
00:10:05.560 So it's fine.
00:10:06.460 Yeah.
00:10:06.940 Yeah.
00:10:07.020 I like the view for me.
00:10:13.320 Yes, can you?
00:10:13.860 What?
00:10:14.580 What'd you say?
00:10:16.000 Is this the head front?
00:10:16.620 Oh, okay.
00:10:17.140 That's nice.
00:10:18.520 Oh, what's your...
00:10:19.320 We can get you Uber.
00:10:20.520 You want Uber?
00:10:21.440 That's no problem.
00:10:23.260 I don't even know what head front is.
00:10:24.640 Oh, girl, Brighton?
00:10:25.640 Maybe we can get you Uber.
00:10:28.300 Brian's pretty far.
00:10:30.520 I live in Hampstead.
00:10:31.540 Oh, good.
00:10:32.340 How far is that?
00:10:32.980 Like an hour?
00:10:33.860 It's not too far.
00:10:35.120 Oh, that's fine.
00:10:35.740 We can get you Uber.
00:10:36.580 That's fine.
00:10:37.040 This is the bus that's got the furthest to travel.
00:10:38.140 This lady here. 0.62
00:10:39.020 Yeah, I'm sorry.
00:10:40.000 Brian's before.
00:10:40.880 We can't do that one.
00:10:42.320 It's nice, isn't it?
00:10:43.100 Which one's the headphones?
00:10:43.920 Thank you for offering.
00:10:44.460 Huh?
00:10:44.700 That's a pretty headphones.
00:10:45.740 This one.
00:10:46.760 That's yours.
00:10:47.540 Oh, that's cozy.
00:10:48.280 Oh, must be...
00:10:49.680 There's about 10 there.
00:10:50.740 Oh, actually, I don't know which one it was.
00:10:53.580 It's 11, man.
00:10:55.960 Do you have people live talking to you there?
00:10:59.760 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:11:00.440 There's a chat.
00:11:01.620 Have they seen the showtime?
00:11:03.780 How many subscribers?
00:11:04.720 The live chat's in that, man.
00:11:06.320 Actually, I think it was a showtime.
00:11:10.440 Showtime.
00:11:11.780 Okay, so...
00:11:12.780 Wow.
00:11:13.120 What's up, girl?
00:11:14.120 What's up?
00:11:15.100 Wow.
00:11:15.840 That was crazy.
00:11:16.480 Okay, we're already talking about something.
00:11:17.440 I was just banned on TikTok.
00:11:19.140 And we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform.
00:11:23.920 If you want to help, please consider sending a super thanks below.
00:11:28.460 Every donation helps, and it helps make what we do possible.