Emotional BETA Could Not Handle the truth
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
219.78021
Summary
In this episode, we discuss the importance of a father figure in a child s life and how important it is for a child to have a good father figure. We also talk about the statistics and what it takes to raise a child without one.
Transcript
00:00:00.000
I'm saying originally, if you genuinely want a child and you think you have the facilities, the money, the support system, everything required, other than the male figure required to have a child and you really, really want a child, it's selfish, but you can do it.
00:00:16.780
I think you can live, you can be a good fucking person without a father figure, so why do you inherently need one?
00:00:22.560
Because me personally, I'm big on family, my family supports each other around, so I'm saying support system, I'm talking about aunties, uncles, they all get involved, it's not just...
00:00:33.960
It doesn't replace a father figure by help, support system is support, it's not like the actual help you need, like the father's not there but you're being supported by people around you, it makes it easier for you.
00:00:44.180
Okay, so, but that still doesn't replace having a father in there.
00:00:48.420
So, it's going to be selfish if women choose to not be able to have a father in there and go still going to have a child, that's inherently selfish, and what Pearl said, all the statistically disadvantaged.
00:00:57.500
So, if we look at, especially if we look at what's happening now in London, a lot of the knife crime, a lot of the stabbers and what's going on, look at who's doing it.
00:01:03.960
And when you look at all the kids that come from single parent homes, single mother homes, right?
00:01:07.760
I came from a single parent home but I had a good support system, so how about that?
00:01:11.060
Yeah, but what I'm trying to say to you is, yeah, when you, so, so exceptions don't cancel out the rule.
00:01:15.320
So, I'm glad that you've done well, but if you look at statistics of what's going on, not everyone's like you.
00:01:19.840
Not everyone's like me, but I'm saying culture, I'm speaking about culture, I'm from South Africa.
00:01:22.780
Like a most, my South African culture, background, everyone, we know each other to be supportive of each other.
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Together, it's not just a, a child is not just one person, it's a whole community raising the child.
00:01:33.800
Would you have preferred to have a father figure?
00:01:37.860
No, no, no, but you didn't answer. Would you have preferred it?
00:01:40.220
I can't have a preference because I don't know why it is to have a father.
00:01:49.400
I just want to quickly say, yeah, a lot of people understand the idea of raising a child.
00:01:55.380
You know, you need to have like a tribe, you need to have loads of people around you.
00:01:59.200
That has no correlation with having, not having a father figure.
00:02:03.000
I feel like there's a difference between support and having a tribe to raise your child because it takes more than one person.
00:02:08.360
You need the aunties, you need the friends, you need the cousins, the siblings, whatever it may be.
00:02:12.240
But a father figure, a father period is something that is irreplaceable when it comes to a child, especially when they're young.
00:02:18.960
But what if the father figure is not the best for the child?
00:02:23.620
Okay, so wait, wait, I'm going to say that in the mic.
00:02:27.620
I said, what if the father figure is not good for the child?
00:02:32.720
That's why it's on the woman, it's good for him to have a good support system, like, for them, so you can choose as a choice, no?
00:02:41.060
Why is it wrong? So it's wrong that my mum made a choice and I'm here.
00:02:46.400
No, I'm not, I'm not, no, no, it's a, it's a, no, you're getting your feelings, bro.
00:02:50.380
Okay, okay, okay, is it wrong to make a child with someone that is clearly going to be a deadbeat dad?
00:02:59.340
Why are, so if I, if I was talking to some dude that just got out of prison.
00:03:04.300
Okay, you're saying a scenario which is like tight and close.
00:03:06.760
No, no, okay, okay, okay, I just don't believe most women, there's some sort of red flag that they either, I don't, most girls aren't blindsided.
00:03:21.860
There's some, I'm sorry, there's some, it's not on me.
00:03:23.660
Like, you're saying it's selfish, it's just one-sided.
00:03:38.580
If your dad was a waste man, then that's not your fault, but that's your mum's fault.
00:03:42.240
End of the day is we always put onus on the men, but these women pick these guys.
00:03:45.980
And most of the time, okay, cool, there's a small percentage.
00:03:58.080
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:04:01.480
When you're 100% in control of who is born, you have more responsibility.
00:04:06.240
We have more power that comes with more responsibility.
00:04:11.620
So you have free abortion up to six months here.
00:04:14.340
I'm responsible as well of having, like, sex with a woman so they can give birth as well.
00:04:20.240
As soon as you have sex without contraceptive, you're also just as involved in the pregnancy.
00:04:30.800
Because the only thing he has control of is a condom and that could break where girls can steal it.
00:04:35.380
The NBA had to issue statements saying these women are stealing condoms.
00:04:39.320
Because we are, we, wait, wait, we are, you can get an IUD that's 99.5% effective.
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If that doesn't work, you can get the plan B pill.
00:04:49.020
If that doesn't work, you can take the abortion pill.
00:04:51.040
If that doesn't work, you can get an abortion up to three months.
00:04:55.460
They are outliers, but you're talking about outliers.
00:04:58.080
In general, if you wear a condom properly, 99.9% of the fact, you're not going to get the girl pregnant.
00:05:09.160
So there's, no, the thing is, we're talking about mandem here in London.
00:05:12.920
We're talking about mandem that's like, oh, you know what?
00:05:16.660
Okay, but that's, but let's, let's take the condom example.
00:05:22.780
Okay, you can say you cannot have sex with me unless you have a condom on.
00:05:32.220
The one who has 41, wait, who has 41 forms of birth control or the one who has one?
00:05:38.260
Let's also think about societal pressures when it comes to women.
00:05:43.760
Now, but babe, these condom things are true because no, no, these people, there's a lot
00:05:56.840
No, no, it's like, it's my Russian accent of disgusting, but it's just true.
00:06:02.080
Like, to be honest, it's not only about pregnancy here, yeah?
00:06:05.160
If you don't wear a condom, you can be called Lillia Chlamydia, you can get gonorrhea,
00:06:12.980
And if you then, like, some people, they play Russian roulette with this pill, yeah?
00:06:17.480
They literally skip four days and they're like, four pills in and then they get pregnant
00:06:21.300
and then it's then, you know, like, if I then choose to keep the child, you know, like,
00:06:27.200
And also, like, I feel like a lot of people get their emotions caught up in this thing.
00:06:31.080
Like, let's say, yeah, you're with your boyfriend, you know he's been cheating,
00:06:34.540
and then you get pregnant and then your emotions get involved.
00:06:38.260
And you're like, oh, but he's so cute, honest, good day.
00:06:44.060
It's never going to work because he's been cheating.
00:06:46.720
So, or, you know, if it's just not the ideal situation, then you, as a woman,
00:06:51.820
how much as you cannot like it, you still choose to have the baby,
00:06:59.680
If a guy comes at your house, you know, you're doing your thing and then it's time to put the rubber on
00:07:05.380
and you're like, oh, I'm in the moment and something happens, that's your body.
00:07:12.620
As much as you dislike it, it's true because you have to deal with the consequence.
00:07:20.100
You do actually have to deal with the consequence, which is very unfortunate.
00:07:23.260
But I think it's, I think, of course, there is blame when it comes to women.
00:07:28.040
You have made a choice to have sex without a condom, 100%.
00:07:31.100
You have allowed religion or whatever societal, cultural influences affect how you feel
00:07:36.980
in terms of abortion or contraception or whatever.
00:07:40.240
But I still feel like if you're having sex with a man and he says,
00:07:44.960
I don't want to have a condom and you're like, you know, okay, fine.
00:07:57.420
So say, all right, say you have sex and you get pregnant.
00:08:17.460
Who's in control of whether you keep it or give birth?
00:08:23.240
Of course you have the baby in you, so of course you're going to be the one that gives birth.
00:08:26.600
So you agree that women have more, who have control over who is born?
00:08:36.960
What's your, what's your, what's your question?
00:08:43.500
Like, if a woman has a hundred percent control over who gets born, right?
00:08:55.740
And then if you don't want that baby, you still have no say in it.
00:08:59.980
How is that not a hundred percent control and selfish?
00:09:02.700
No, I'm saying if, if the girl wants to have the baby, right?
00:09:05.580
How is that selfish if she has a baby and she feels like it's right?
00:09:09.220
No, because I don't have any control in this scenario.
00:09:11.440
For me, for me personally, if I'm to have sex with someone and I'll take all the responsibilities.
00:09:17.960
If I, if I have a baby with you, then I'm going to take all that.
00:09:28.460
I want to say one thing and then I'll let you go.
00:09:35.200
We have, we, so, so if we are going to get more power, it comes with responsibility, having more
00:09:40.500
of the responsibility because the men, the men have one choice, condom or no condom.
00:09:44.480
We can't, we can't, we know when we're ovulating, you know, you know, when you're, you should,
00:09:56.120
Wait, who gets to choose whether or not they're on birth control?
00:10:00.160
Who gets to choose whether or not we take the plan B?
00:10:03.460
Who gets to choose when, if, if you have sex on or off your, when you're ovulating?
00:10:15.220
But in terms of who has, who has the choice to have sex is two people, right?
00:10:21.260
So as soon as you're, um, consenting to having sex, what's the consequence of sex?
00:10:31.080
So from the time that you lay down with a woman, from the time a woman lies down with a
00:10:35.700
man, there's a possibility that it's going to, that a child.
00:10:38.840
Wait, wait, wait, listen, so you're not listening to what I said, though.
00:10:44.180
No, I said women are in control of who is born.
00:10:46.960
Men are, like, who after, I understand that the sex, they both get to pick.
00:10:51.760
But after the sex, it is a hundred, women are in control.
00:10:55.500
But also, but do you not think that the, the guy, from the time that he, like, he lays
00:11:00.240
with a woman, he should have the responsibility that potentially a child.
00:11:04.020
If you, I think, I think when women have 10 choices we can make to avoid that situation
00:11:09.480
and men have one, there's more responsibility on us.
00:11:12.000
And also, it's not about more, but I'm saying a man has responsibility for, like, do I, do
00:11:18.520
I think men should just shoot, like, I've heard some stories where y'all don't even pull
00:11:27.680
No, but at the end of the day, we have 10 choices, they have one.
00:11:33.280
So are you just saying, women have more responsibility, that's all you're saying?
00:11:39.020
I think with all the points you've made, yes, women have more.
00:11:41.520
But I just want to know, at what point do we draw the line and actually say that, like,
00:11:44.680
Because, okay, even, let's take an irresponsible man, let's take a baby daddy, let's take
00:11:49.440
That's, that's, that's, that's, that's, okay, that's, that's, okay, that's,
00:11:52.520
that's, okay, okay, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
00:11:54.520
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, okay, okay.
00:12:01.800
So that's one, arguably, sexually irresponsible man, that's 10 sexually irresponsible women.
00:12:09.460
So again, it's more on, like, there are more sexually irresponsible women than there are
00:12:14.280
sexually irresponsible men, because you guys might not know this, but one out of three
00:12:18.040
men are either virgins or having had sex in the past year, where the majority of women
00:12:22.260
are sexually active and there are more std cases than ever before yeah there's more out of wedlock
00:12:28.980
pregnancies than ever before there's more abortions i actually i'm not 100 sure i think there's more
00:12:34.240
abortions than ever before and and so it's like is it on the men when most of men aren't sleeping
00:12:41.220
around that much most men only around 20 of men can really sleep around like that and then so then
00:12:46.640
it comes back to the women because who are we picking to sleep with i was just banned on tiktok
00:12:53.500
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00:13:00.100
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