JustPearlyThings - March 29, 2023


Emotional BETA Could Not Handle the truth


Episode Stats


Length

13 minutes

Words per minute

219.78021

Word count

2,880

Sentence count

210

Harmful content

Misogyny

29

sentences flagged

Hate speech

39

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we discuss the importance of a father figure in a child s life and how important it is for a child to have a good father figure. We also talk about the statistics and what it takes to raise a child without one.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 I'm saying originally, if you genuinely want a child and you think you have the facilities, the money, the support system, everything required, other than the male figure required to have a child and you really, really want a child, it's selfish, but you can do it.
00:00:13.500 Do you not think a father figure is required?
00:00:16.780 I think you can live, you can be a good fucking person without a father figure, so why do you inherently need one?
00:00:22.560 Because me personally, I'm big on family, my family supports each other around, so I'm saying support system, I'm talking about aunties, uncles, they all get involved, it's not just...
00:00:29.560 It's not just the father only.
00:00:32.540 That still doesn't replace a father figure.
00:00:33.960 It doesn't replace a father figure by help, support system is support, it's not like the actual help you need, like the father's not there but you're being supported by people around you, it makes it easier for you.
00:00:44.180 Okay, so, but that still doesn't replace having a father in there.
00:00:47.460 It does, it does.
00:00:48.420 So, it's going to be selfish if women choose to not be able to have a father in there and go still going to have a child, that's inherently selfish, and what Pearl said, all the statistically disadvantaged. 0.97
00:00:57.500 So, if we look at, especially if we look at what's happening now in London, a lot of the knife crime, a lot of the stabbers and what's going on, look at who's doing it.
00:01:03.960 And when you look at all the kids that come from single parent homes, single mother homes, right? 0.64
00:01:07.760 I came from a single parent home but I had a good support system, so how about that?
00:01:11.060 Yeah, but what I'm trying to say to you is, yeah, when you, so, so exceptions don't cancel out the rule.
00:01:15.320 So, I'm glad that you've done well, but if you look at statistics of what's going on, not everyone's like you.
00:01:19.840 Not everyone's like me, but I'm saying culture, I'm speaking about culture, I'm from South Africa.
00:01:22.780 Like a most, my South African culture, background, everyone, we know each other to be supportive of each other.
00:01:27.620 You raise a child together.
00:01:27.980 Together, it's not just a, a child is not just one person, it's a whole community raising the child.
00:01:32.180 It's not only you, it's not the father.
00:01:33.800 Would you have preferred to have a father figure?
00:01:36.000 I'm okay with myself right now, I'm content.
00:01:37.860 No, no, no, but you didn't answer. Would you have preferred it?
00:01:40.220 I can't have a preference because I don't know why it is to have a father.
00:01:43.100 Okay, yes or no? Would you have preferred it?
00:01:46.180 No, because I like my life right now.
00:01:47.400 Okay, go ahead, go ahead.
00:01:49.400 I just want to quickly say, yeah, a lot of people understand the idea of raising a child.
00:01:55.380 You know, you need to have like a tribe, you need to have loads of people around you.
00:01:59.200 That has no correlation with having, not having a father figure.
00:02:03.000 I feel like there's a difference between support and having a tribe to raise your child because it takes more than one person.
00:02:08.360 You need the aunties, you need the friends, you need the cousins, the siblings, whatever it may be.
00:02:12.240 But a father figure, a father period is something that is irreplaceable when it comes to a child, especially when they're young.
00:02:18.960 But what if the father figure is not the best for the child?
00:02:21.900 No, I understand that.
00:02:23.620 Okay, so wait, wait, I'm going to say that in the mic.
00:02:27.620 I said, what if the father figure is not good for the child?
00:02:29.580 That's on the woman, you pick. 1.00
00:02:32.720 That's why it's on the woman, it's good for him to have a good support system, like, for them, so you can choose as a choice, no? 0.99
00:02:39.040 Yeah, yeah, she made the wrong choice.
00:02:41.060 Why is it wrong? So it's wrong that my mum made a choice and I'm here.
00:02:43.420 Okay, okay, okay, okay.
00:02:45.240 Don't get on your feelings, man.
00:02:46.400 No, I'm not, I'm not, no, no, it's a, it's a, no, you're getting your feelings, bro.
00:02:50.380 Okay, okay, okay, is it wrong to make a child with someone that is clearly going to be a deadbeat dad?
00:02:56.760 Yes, that's selfish, yes.
00:02:59.340 Why are, so if I, if I was talking to some dude that just got out of prison.
00:03:04.300 Okay, you're saying a scenario which is like tight and close.
00:03:06.760 No, no, okay, okay, okay, I just don't believe most women, there's some sort of red flag that they either, I don't, most girls aren't blindsided. 0.94
00:03:16.120 And they usually choose to ignore it.
00:03:17.760 I agree with that, that's why I said some.
00:03:18.480 So that's why I said it's on you.
00:03:20.440 It's on, it's on, and it's, and I.
00:03:21.860 There's some, I'm sorry, there's some, it's not on me.
00:03:23.660 Like, you're saying it's selfish, it's just one-sided.
00:03:26.440 Some people feel different as well.
00:03:28.260 Bro, I'm happy that you're here, innit?
00:03:29.700 We're all happy that you're here, innit?
00:03:30.660 Yeah, I know.
00:03:32.560 No, because I'm happy that you're here.
00:03:34.380 Like, do you get me?
00:03:35.540 I'm happy that you're here.
00:03:36.640 God bless the universe and that.
00:03:37.780 I appreciate it, bro.
00:03:38.580 If your dad was a waste man, then that's not your fault, but that's your mum's fault.
00:03:42.240 End of the day is we always put onus on the men, but these women pick these guys. 1.00
00:03:45.980 And most of the time, okay, cool, there's a small percentage.
00:03:48.400 Why is it all the mum's fault, by the way? 0.98
00:03:49.600 No, I, hold on a second.
00:03:51.900 Why is it all the mum's fault? 1.00
00:03:53.060 Because we're 100% in control of birth.
00:03:55.620 We're 100, like, when you have 100...
00:03:57.520 It should not be the dance floor.
00:03:58.080 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:03:59.920 Stop interrupting me.
00:04:01.480 When you're 100% in control of who is born, you have more responsibility.
00:04:06.240 We have more power that comes with more responsibility.
00:04:09.180 You are responsible for who gives birth. 0.99
00:04:11.620 So you have free abortion up to six months here.
00:04:14.340 I'm responsible as well of having, like, sex with a woman so they can give birth as well. 0.99
00:04:19.020 So I'm part of it as well.
00:04:20.240 As soon as you have sex without contraceptive, you're also just as involved in the pregnancy.
00:04:27.980 No, that's not true.
00:04:28.700 No, that's not true.
00:04:30.800 Because the only thing he has control of is a condom and that could break where girls can steal it. 0.67
00:04:35.380 The NBA had to issue statements saying these women are stealing condoms. 1.00
00:04:39.320 Because we are, we, wait, wait, we are, you can get an IUD that's 99.5% effective.
00:04:45.600 You can get birth control.
00:04:46.920 If that doesn't work, you can get the plan B pill.
00:04:49.020 If that doesn't work, you can take the abortion pill.
00:04:51.040 If that doesn't work, you can get an abortion up to three months. 0.99
00:04:52.920 There is no excuse.
00:04:53.520 I'm not disagreeing with you.
00:04:55.460 They are outliers, but you're talking about outliers.
00:04:58.080 In general, if you wear a condom properly, 99.9% of the fact, you're not going to get the girl pregnant. 0.89
00:05:09.160 So there's, no, the thing is, we're talking about mandem here in London.
00:05:12.920 We're talking about mandem that's like, oh, you know what?
00:05:14.800 The rubber doesn't feel good.
00:05:16.660 Okay, but that's, but let's, let's take the condom example.
00:05:22.780 Okay, you can say you cannot have sex with me unless you have a condom on.
00:05:26.960 Yeah, exactly.
00:05:27.840 That women are in control of sex. 1.00
00:05:30.120 We are in control.
00:05:31.100 And who has more power?
00:05:32.220 The one who has 41, wait, who has 41 forms of birth control or the one who has one?
00:05:37.420 Who has more power?
00:05:38.260 Let's also think about societal pressures when it comes to women. 1.00
00:05:42.080 No, don't roll your eyes because it's a fact.
00:05:43.760 Now, but babe, these condom things are true because no, no, these people, there's a lot
00:05:48.720 of people that carry disgusting things.
00:05:50.740 So society presence.
00:05:51.760 Do you know that's a fact as well?
00:05:53.220 They come near disgusting.
00:05:55.000 I always say it in a certain way.
00:05:56.840 No, no, it's like, it's my Russian accent of disgusting, but it's just true. 1.00
00:06:02.080 Like, to be honest, it's not only about pregnancy here, yeah?
00:06:05.160 If you don't wear a condom, you can be called Lillia Chlamydia, you can get gonorrhea, 0.96
00:06:10.100 you can get anything, you know?
00:06:11.600 So that's kind of on you.
00:06:12.980 And if you then, like, some people, they play Russian roulette with this pill, yeah?
00:06:17.480 They literally skip four days and they're like, four pills in and then they get pregnant 0.99
00:06:21.300 and then it's then, you know, like, if I then choose to keep the child, you know, like,
00:06:26.460 that's a thing.
00:06:27.200 And also, like, I feel like a lot of people get their emotions caught up in this thing.
00:06:31.080 Like, let's say, yeah, you're with your boyfriend, you know he's been cheating,
00:06:34.540 and then you get pregnant and then your emotions get involved.
00:06:38.260 And you're like, oh, but he's so cute, honest, good day.
00:06:41.160 And then on this, maybe it could work.
00:06:44.060 It's never going to work because he's been cheating.
00:06:46.720 So, or, you know, if it's just not the ideal situation, then you, as a woman,
00:06:51.820 how much as you cannot like it, you still choose to have the baby,
00:06:56.100 even though the situation is not perfect.
00:06:58.160 Same with the condom thing, right?
00:06:59.680 If a guy comes at your house, you know, you're doing your thing and then it's time to put the rubber on
00:07:05.380 and you're like, oh, I'm in the moment and something happens, that's your body.
00:07:10.120 That's you not being sacred with your body.
00:07:12.620 As much as you dislike it, it's true because you have to deal with the consequence.
00:07:18.780 It's just, I agree.
00:07:20.100 You do actually have to deal with the consequence, which is very unfortunate.
00:07:23.260 But I think it's, I think, of course, there is blame when it comes to women.
00:07:28.040 You have made a choice to have sex without a condom, 100%.
00:07:31.100 You have allowed religion or whatever societal, cultural influences affect how you feel
00:07:36.980 in terms of abortion or contraception or whatever.
00:07:40.240 But I still feel like if you're having sex with a man and he says,
00:07:44.960 I don't want to have a condom and you're like, you know, okay, fine.
00:07:47.840 I don't want to have a condom either.
00:07:49.080 But he also chose not to use a condom.
00:07:52.400 Can I ask you a question?
00:07:56.160 I'm going to ask you a question.
00:07:56.860 Okay.
00:07:57.420 So say, all right, say you have sex and you get pregnant. 0.99
00:08:00.660 Okay.
00:08:01.820 Who controls who gives birth? 1.00
00:08:04.800 Whose choice is that?
00:08:06.180 After you're pregnant, whose choice is it?
00:08:10.160 I have a question for you.
00:08:11.460 No, I need you to answer that question.
00:08:13.340 No, that's fine.
00:08:13.860 I need you to.
00:08:14.400 Okay, yeah, women give birth. 1.00
00:08:15.840 Cool.
00:08:16.340 No, no, no, no.
00:08:17.460 Who's in control of whether you keep it or give birth? 0.94
00:08:20.520 Yeah, that's fine.
00:08:22.000 Okay, I agree with that.
00:08:23.240 Of course you have the baby in you, so of course you're going to be the one that gives birth. 0.98
00:08:26.600 So you agree that women have more, who have control over who is born? 0.99
00:08:31.640 A hundred percent control.
00:08:33.140 Well, of course.
00:08:34.140 Okay.
00:08:34.680 Okay, what's your question?
00:08:35.520 But having control doesn't make you selfish.
00:08:36.960 What's your, what's your, what's your question?
00:08:38.980 And then I can go to you.
00:08:40.520 Someone said something about being selfish.
00:08:42.000 Wait, wait, wait, bro.
00:08:43.500 Like, if a woman has a hundred percent control over who gets born, right? 1.00
00:08:47.580 Yeah, yeah.
00:08:47.920 You have no control of that.
00:08:49.540 Yeah, I understand.
00:08:50.120 So if you, so if a woman gets pregnant. 0.69
00:08:51.860 Yes.
00:08:52.180 And, and you want that baby.
00:08:53.940 I have no say in that.
00:08:54.900 Okay, cool.
00:08:55.740 And then if you don't want that baby, you still have no say in it.
00:08:59.600 Yeah.
00:08:59.980 How is that not a hundred percent control and selfish?
00:09:02.700 No, I'm saying if, if the girl wants to have the baby, right? 0.98
00:09:05.580 How is that selfish if she has a baby and she feels like it's right? 1.00
00:09:08.560 What if you don't want that?
00:09:09.220 No, because I don't have any control in this scenario.
00:09:11.440 For me, for me personally, if I'm to have sex with someone and I'll take all the responsibilities.
00:09:16.900 I'm having sex with you.
00:09:17.960 If I, if I have a baby with you, then I'm going to take all that.
00:09:20.960 No, but we're saying that.
00:09:22.520 You can have to you.
00:09:23.280 What if you don't want to you though?
00:09:24.480 And she decides to have to you.
00:09:25.600 But my nigga, you have sex without a condom. 0.83
00:09:27.300 So what did you think was going to happen?
00:09:28.460 I want to say one thing and then I'll let you go.
00:09:29.720 What did you think was going to happen?
00:09:30.580 Okay, okay.
00:09:31.760 Okay.
00:09:32.220 But, but the point is we, we have more power.
00:09:34.960 Yeah.
00:09:35.200 We have, we, so, so if we are going to get more power, it comes with responsibility, having more
00:09:40.500 of the responsibility because the men, the men have one choice, condom or no condom.
00:09:44.480 We can't, we can't, we know when we're ovulating, you know, you know, when you're, you should,
00:09:49.560 you, you, you, you get, wait, wait.
00:09:51.660 And you, you have the choice.
00:09:53.880 You get, who gets to choose?
00:09:55.360 All right.
00:09:55.720 All right.
00:09:56.120 Wait, who gets to choose whether or not they're on birth control?
00:09:58.760 Men or women? 0.78
00:09:59.640 Women. 0.81
00:10:00.160 Who gets to choose whether or not we take the plan B?
00:10:02.220 Men or women? 0.78
00:10:02.920 Women. 0.81
00:10:03.460 Who gets to choose when, if, if you have sex on or off your, when you're ovulating?
00:10:07.240 Men or women? 0.78
00:10:07.760 Women. 0.81
00:10:08.220 Who has the choice to track their cycle?
00:10:09.740 Men or women? 0.78
00:10:10.180 Women. 0.81
00:10:10.840 Who has the choice to get an abortion? 1.00
00:10:12.660 Women. 0.81
00:10:13.120 Women. 0.81
00:10:13.680 Okay.
00:10:14.160 So that's, that's the point.
00:10:15.220 But in terms of who has, who has the choice to have sex is two people, right? 0.85
00:10:21.260 So as soon as you're, um, consenting to having sex, what's the consequence of sex?
00:10:27.920 Okay.
00:10:28.160 Okay.
00:10:28.440 Yeah.
00:10:28.580 Okay.
00:10:28.920 Sex is, is reproduction.
00:10:31.080 So from the time that you lay down with a woman, from the time a woman lies down with a 0.99
00:10:35.700 man, there's a possibility that it's going to, that a child.
00:10:38.840 Wait, wait, wait, listen, so you're not listening to what I said, though.
00:10:42.200 No, no, no.
00:10:42.560 I hear what you're saying.
00:10:43.260 I do hear what you're saying.
00:10:44.180 No, I said women are in control of who is born. 1.00
00:10:46.580 Yeah.
00:10:46.960 Men are, like, who after, I understand that the sex, they both get to pick.
00:10:51.760 But after the sex, it is a hundred, women are in control. 1.00
00:10:55.100 Yeah.
00:10:55.500 But also, but do you not think that the, the guy, from the time that he, like, he lays
00:11:00.240 with a woman, he should have the responsibility that potentially a child. 1.00
00:11:04.020 If you, I think, I think when women have 10 choices we can make to avoid that situation
00:11:09.480 and men have one, there's more responsibility on us.
00:11:12.000 And also, it's not about more, but I'm saying a man has responsibility for, like, do I, do
00:11:18.520 I think men should just shoot, like, I've heard some stories where y'all don't even pull 1.00
00:11:23.300 out.
00:11:23.680 I'm like, you're crazy.
00:11:24.520 And I, do I, do I recommend that?
00:11:27.680 No, but at the end of the day, we have 10 choices, they have one.
00:11:31.380 Maybe, maybe two, if you include, pull out.
00:11:33.280 So are you just saying, women have more responsibility, that's all you're saying?
00:11:36.760 Yeah.
00:11:37.200 Facts.
00:11:37.760 Facts.
00:11:38.100 Yeah, that's facts though.
00:11:39.020 I think with all the points you've made, yes, women have more.
00:11:41.080 Yes, a hundred percent.
00:11:41.520 But I just want to know, at what point do we draw the line and actually say that, like,
00:11:44.680 Because, okay, even, let's take an irresponsible man, let's take a baby daddy, let's take
00:11:48.900 Nick Cannon.
00:11:49.440 That's, that's, that's, that's, that's, okay, that's, that's, okay, that's,
00:11:52.520 that's, okay, okay, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
00:11:54.520 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, okay, okay.
00:11:57.100 Arguably irresponsible.
00:11:58.380 Are you happy?
00:11:59.240 Okay.
00:11:59.460 Yeah.
00:11:59.900 Okay.
00:12:00.640 He's irresponsible.
00:12:01.240 Okay.
00:12:01.800 So that's one, arguably, sexually irresponsible man, that's 10 sexually irresponsible women. 0.98
00:12:08.760 Absolutely.
00:12:09.460 So again, it's more on, like, there are more sexually irresponsible women than there are 1.00
00:12:14.280 sexually irresponsible men, because you guys might not know this, but one out of three
00:12:18.040 men are either virgins or having had sex in the past year, where the majority of women 1.00
00:12:22.260 are sexually active and there are more std cases than ever before yeah there's more out of wedlock
00:12:28.980 pregnancies than ever before there's more abortions i actually i'm not 100 sure i think there's more
00:12:34.240 abortions than ever before and and so it's like is it on the men when most of men aren't sleeping
00:12:41.220 around that much most men only around 20 of men can really sleep around like that and then so then
00:12:46.640 it comes back to the women because who are we picking to sleep with i was just banned on tiktok 1.00
00:12:53.500 and we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform if you want to help please consider
00:13:00.100 sending a super thanks below every donation helps and it helps make what we do possible