Every Feminist HATES This Kind Of Woman…
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
210.40927
Summary
In this episode, we talk about our biggest red flags when it comes to a potential partner and how to look out for them. We also talk about how to deal with someone that doesn t communicate well with you and why you should just not argue.
Transcript
00:00:07.280
Because she's looking for the same thing I'm looking for, a family.
00:00:12.380
Doesn't have to be the greatest cook, but she's willing to learn to cook the things I like.
00:00:18.900
So something as simple as I'm sitting down and working at my desk,
00:00:22.880
and she comes up and just gives me a nice shoulder massage out of the blue.
00:00:45.100
What is, prefers like country life over city life?
00:00:50.080
Like quiet town, small town life over city life.
00:01:22.680
I would have to find some of her friends, or the people she's hung out with, and get like
00:01:44.140
Of course they're going to stitch on their girlfriend.
00:01:55.120
So, I want to talk about, what is the last time you've broken up with someone over something?
00:02:06.660
Tell me the last, like, ick you got with someone you were seeing.
00:02:21.880
We're sitting at the movies, and you've got to have, like.
00:02:28.440
Like, why are you eating a popsicle as a grown man?
00:02:31.840
I saw a TikTok, and it's, like, men have to eat certain stuff.
00:02:40.080
Like, you need to be breaking the banana off and toss it in your mouth.
00:02:42.460
Like, you don't need to be doing all these sassy gestures.
00:03:11.160
I can't deal with somebody that doesn't communicate well with me.
00:03:17.640
Communication as in, we can have our conversation, right?
00:03:20.820
But if you're still walking away and saying, well, you're still in the wrong, that wasn't, the communication wasn't really there.
00:03:27.540
Because you've listened to what I've said, but I'm still in the wrong.
00:03:29.480
So, you're talking about arguments, specifically?
00:03:35.600
Because it depends on what the argument is about.
00:03:38.560
It may have just been something that I've brought up.
00:03:41.920
And now, I may be the bad one because I've nagged.
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But then that's why I would rather walk away from it.
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Either way, that's where the relationship ends.
00:03:58.300
Because if I can't, if I actually cannot open my mouth.
00:04:10.000
But from what you're saying, it sounds like codependency.
00:04:12.360
Where the other person needs to adhere to all of your emotional needs.
00:04:15.600
So what I would say is, why can't you let it build up a bit?
00:04:18.960
But at least then you keep the peace in the home.
00:04:21.120
And then maybe you can call your mum or you can call your friend and go,
00:04:26.260
I don't believe that relationships should be involved in family members and friends.
00:04:30.060
I'm not going to call my friend and be like, oh, he did this.
00:04:35.440
Yeah, unless it's something big, what am I even talking about anyway?
00:04:37.800
Right, but you said, you mentioned the word nagging.
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Yeah, so it gets classed as nagging because it may be something that I've brought up.
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And it's been swept under the carpet and I've let it go.
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Could be like six months later now and I've decided, you know what,
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Can I have an example of like, what, what, you're thinking of a situation.
00:05:11.060
But you see, okay, but you see how broad this is to a guy.
00:05:23.280
But you're the, okay, so, but isn't that sort of narcissism?
00:05:32.040
But I mean, at least just try and take in whatever I may be expressing at the time.
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From what I'm hearing, right, it sounds, I had a friend who went through a kind of situation
00:05:50.160
similar to this in the way his missus was communicating this.
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To me, it kind of sounds like you just needed him to tell you everything's going to be okay.
00:05:59.260
I just wanted to know if what I'm saying, you actually feel that it is stupid,
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If we haven't come down to a decision of, yeah, you're being over the top.
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Sometimes it's not what you see, it's how you see it.
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It is how you approach it and how you, yeah, open up the conversation.
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You're not going to accept from calling you stupid, though.
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If the option was stupid, how would you react to that?
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I'd want you to explain why the fuck I'm being stupid.
00:06:43.100
But then again, it does, it ends up coming down to that, the cycle of the argument,
00:06:48.260
how women get into arguments with guys and the whole communication.
00:07:01.820
You get five minutes of his attention, but he's fired up and he's passionate with you.
00:07:05.180
No, it could be something simple, like every day I'll ask you, babe, can you make sure
00:07:08.200
that the dishes that you put in the sink, you wash it?
00:07:10.560
If I've now dealt with that for a whole year and after a year, I'll be like, you know what,
00:07:13.460
babes, I've dealt with you not washing the dishes that I've asked you every single day
00:07:19.220
And then you come up with some silly response of, well, I put them in the sink.
00:07:23.620
Yeah, don't you just accept that he's not going to wash the dishes in the sink?
00:07:39.980
I'm just thinking, what else is the chick there for?
00:07:51.180
But I mean, like, you have to remember, I'm a mother at this.
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I say, babes, don't, you know, after that, that's it.
00:08:01.040
I have to keep reminding you not to do something.
00:08:09.520
Like, you're not supposed to try to control someone.
00:08:12.400
Yeah, like, only off the 30th, they try to do that.
00:08:14.940
Also, I was going to say, I was also going to say, if that's the way you're even going to
00:08:22.100
put it, ain't no daughter of you who's going to tell me, I told you to wash the plates.
00:08:29.620
No, but the fact is that how you're going to wash their plates.
00:08:32.640
No, but the point is, even if it's an example, that is the way you gave the example.
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So that's more than likely the way you're going to do it.
00:08:39.020
Is that how you approach it, though, on a normal day?
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That's how she's probably going to approach it.
00:08:42.340
Because if that's not how she was going to approach it, she'll have given the example.
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I mean, I'm very, I like to get my point across.
00:08:54.400
Do you get angered very quick by men in a relationship?
00:09:02.980
Yeah, because it's very much learning to understand the person that you're with.
00:09:08.820
I feel like, correct me if I'm wrong, so I feel like your preference of communication
00:09:13.300
comes from, like, instead of just sweeping on the rug and, you know, leaving you because
00:09:17.500
I realized something about you, let me make sure and confirm this is who you are.
00:09:21.980
And I'm not saying that's the right mindset, because if somebody is not washing the dishes
00:09:25.600
for a year, then they're probably not going to ever wash the dishes, so you need to accept
00:09:29.320
But some people would rather communicate, fight through it, and maybe if you get some understanding,
00:09:35.500
Not necessarily change their habits, but change their mind.
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I get some clarity on, this is how you think, this is how you move, this is how the person
00:09:41.180
you are, rather than just sweep it under the rug a year later, now I'm pissed off, I'm
00:09:45.660
just going to leave you because you've done X, Y, Z.
00:09:48.460
We've had a conversation, and you understand, I'm not going to accept this, now I'm going
00:09:54.200
Can I ask you, if you does wash the dishes, what's your response?