JustPearlyThings - October 29, 2023


Every Feminist HATES This Kind Of Woman…

Topics
communication
Hosted by
Hannah Pearl Davis
Mentioned
Hoovering Hoover
Pearl DESTROYS Fat Models Pearl Challenges Matt Walsh To A Debate!

Episode Stats


Length

10 minutes

Words per minute

210.41

Word count

2,113

Sentence count

271

Harmful content

Misogyny

17

sentences flagged

Toxicity

18

sentences flagged

Hate speech

7

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we talk about our biggest red flags when it comes to a potential partner and how to look out for them. We also talk about how to deal with someone that doesn t communicate well with you and why you should just not argue.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 Let's say she wants to be a mother. 1.00
00:00:03.920 She wants to be a mother and have a family. 0.91
00:00:05.520 That's a giant green flag.
00:00:07.280 Because she's looking for the same thing I'm looking for, a family.
00:00:10.340 She likes to cook. 1.00
00:00:12.380 Doesn't have to be the greatest cook, but she's willing to learn to cook the things I like. 0.98
00:00:15.820 Excellent.
00:00:17.320 Random acts of kindness.
00:00:18.900 So something as simple as I'm sitting down and working at my desk,
00:00:22.880 and she comes up and just gives me a nice shoulder massage out of the blue. 1.00
00:00:25.520 That is a giant winner.
00:00:27.820 That'll add a year.
00:00:30.000 Not two years, though.
00:00:35.120 You've got one more year of runway, all right?
00:00:38.500 These kind of things.
00:00:39.680 Not two, though.
00:00:40.280 We don't want to get carried away.
00:00:41.460 Yeah, we don't want to get carried away.
00:00:45.100 What is, prefers like country life over city life?
00:00:49.360 Okay.
00:00:50.080 Like quiet town, small town life over city life.
00:00:53.440 Okay.
00:00:53.820 Not a giant partier.
00:00:55.460 Not a big, heavy drinker.
00:00:57.560 Doesn't do drugs.
00:00:58.500 Doesn't do weed.
00:00:59.100 That's a big red flag for me.
00:01:00.240 The girl does weed. 1.00
00:01:01.380 Nope.
00:01:01.960 I don't care how young she is.
00:01:03.180 Nope.
00:01:03.820 Out.
00:01:03.940 20?
00:01:05.240 20, but weed?
00:01:06.320 Out.
00:01:07.200 No.
00:01:08.020 No.
00:01:08.700 No.
00:01:09.140 You can't negotiate with me on this.
00:01:10.480 I don't negotiate with terrorists.
00:01:13.520 All right.
00:01:15.440 20, 22.
00:01:17.480 But, but, goes to the club twice a month.
00:01:22.680 I would have to find some of her friends, or the people she's hung out with, and get like
00:01:31.600 the dirt.
00:01:33.140 Get some like insider intel.
00:01:35.560 Are women snitches? 1.00
00:01:36.820 Hundreds. 0.99
00:01:37.700 Hundreds.
00:01:38.300 Hundreds.
00:01:38.780 Hundreds.
00:01:39.340 Hundreds.
00:01:40.140 Everyone's nodding.
00:01:41.300 Hundreds.
00:01:42.180 They stitch on themselves.
00:01:44.140 Of course they're going to stitch on their girlfriend. 0.98
00:01:48.440 Okay.
00:01:50.040 I wanted to ask about ics.
00:01:52.600 Okay.
00:01:53.000 Women have ics. 1.00
00:01:53.960 Men have ics. 0.99
00:01:55.120 So, I want to talk about, what is the last time you've broken up with someone over something?
00:02:00.820 Like, what was the ick?
00:02:01.840 Or, like, stopped going on dates with someone?
00:02:04.840 I'm curious from the women. 1.00
00:02:06.660 Tell me the last, like, ick you got with someone you were seeing.
00:02:10.920 I would say, like, he has some sassy gestures.
00:02:15.160 Like, just picking stuff up.
00:02:18.660 Like, the way you're drinking out of a glass.
00:02:21.880 We're sitting at the movies, and you've got to have, like.
00:02:23.940 Is it the pinky?
00:02:25.060 Is it, like, the tea with the pinky?
00:02:27.160 It's the, it's the pony.
00:02:28.440 Like, why are you eating a popsicle as a grown man?
00:02:30.740 Like, I don't know.
00:02:31.840 I saw a TikTok, and it's, like, men have to eat certain stuff.
00:02:38.600 Like, break it off.
00:02:39.320 Like, the banana.
00:02:40.080 Like, you need to be breaking the banana off and toss it in your mouth.
00:02:42.460 Like, you don't need to be doing all these sassy gestures.
00:02:45.820 So, yeah, that's definitely ick for me.
00:02:47.460 Because, why are you so loose?
00:02:51.360 Why are you so loose?
00:02:52.200 Wow.
00:02:52.660 It's true, dog.
00:02:53.720 You sound pickier than me.
00:02:57.720 Oh, my gosh.
00:02:58.700 Hey, he can stop with the sassy gesture.
00:03:01.240 She can't un-age.
00:03:06.400 Okay, go ahead.
00:03:08.780 Mine has been for communication.
00:03:11.160 I can't deal with somebody that doesn't communicate well with me.
00:03:14.560 Okay.
00:03:15.420 What does that actually mean?
00:03:16.340 What does that, yeah, that's it.
00:03:17.640 Communication as in, we can have our conversation, right?
00:03:20.820 But if you're still walking away and saying, well, you're still in the wrong, that wasn't, the communication wasn't really there.
00:03:27.540 Because you've listened to what I've said, but I'm still in the wrong.
00:03:29.480 So, you're talking about arguments, specifically?
00:03:31.260 Yeah.
00:03:31.560 Communication barrier needs to be there.
00:03:33.240 Why don't you just not argue?
00:03:34.980 Yeah.
00:03:35.600 Because it depends on what the argument is about.
00:03:36.980 It may not have wanted to be an argument.
00:03:38.560 It may have just been something that I've brought up.
00:03:41.920 And now, I may be the bad one because I've nagged.
00:03:45.920 But yeah, yeah.
00:03:46.380 He gets called as nagging.
00:03:47.760 Or hear me out.
00:03:50.860 We could just not bring it up.
00:03:53.560 Yeah, we could.
00:03:54.640 But then that's why I would rather walk away from it.
00:03:56.340 Either way, that's where the relationship ends.
00:03:58.300 Because if I can't, if I actually cannot open my mouth.
00:04:00.860 Express yourself.
00:04:01.900 Yeah.
00:04:02.520 If I feel like I'm being...
00:04:03.520 But why do you have to express to him?
00:04:04.980 Can't you, like...
00:04:06.140 Because what I'm hearing, it just...
00:04:08.560 I could be wrong.
00:04:09.340 I don't know you, right?
00:04:10.000 But from what you're saying, it sounds like codependency.
00:04:12.360 Where the other person needs to adhere to all of your emotional needs.
00:04:15.600 So what I would say is, why can't you let it build up a bit?
00:04:18.960 But at least then you keep the peace in the home.
00:04:21.120 And then maybe you can call your mum or you can call your friend and go,
00:04:23.420 he did this really annoying thing.
00:04:24.660 But it's a little annoying thing.
00:04:25.900 Yeah, no.
00:04:26.260 I don't believe that relationships should be involved in family members and friends.
00:04:29.660 I'm sorry.
00:04:30.060 I'm not going to call my friend and be like, oh, he did this.
00:04:33.080 No, a little thing.
00:04:34.280 So if it's something big.
00:04:35.440 Yeah, unless it's something big, what am I even talking about anyway?
00:04:37.800 Right, but you said, you mentioned the word nagging.
00:04:40.860 Yeah, so it gets classed as nagging because it may be something that I've brought up.
00:04:44.080 But you're just expressing yourself.
00:04:45.260 And it's been swept under the carpet and I've let it go.
00:04:47.480 Could be like six months later now and I've decided, you know what,
00:04:49.880 I want this conversation again.
00:04:51.980 And it gets swept under the carpet again.
00:04:54.140 Can I have an example of like, what, what, you're thinking of a situation.
00:04:57.740 What happened?
00:04:58.280 It's not a specific situation.
00:05:01.840 No, no, there's something in your head.
00:05:04.060 I see you thinking.
00:05:05.100 Do you know what it is?
00:05:05.800 I hear it a lot as well from women. 1.00
00:05:07.560 It's just that, it's just the communication.
00:05:09.660 For me, it's communication.
00:05:11.060 But you see, okay, but you see how broad this is to a guy.
00:05:13.820 Because there's guys watching, right?
00:05:15.320 And they think communication.
00:05:16.560 Yeah, yeah.
00:05:17.140 And they think.
00:05:17.520 That's all women say is communication. 1.00
00:05:18.640 They don't communicate with me.
00:05:20.040 Yes, yes.
00:05:20.560 Just sit there, listen, and just tell me yes.
00:05:22.840 Listen, listen.
00:05:23.280 But you're the, okay, so, but isn't that sort of narcissism?
00:05:28.380 I need to be told yes all the time?
00:05:30.400 Well, no, not yes all the time.
00:05:32.040 But I mean, at least just try and take in whatever I may be expressing at the time.
00:05:35.700 If it feels like it's gone over your head. 1.00
00:05:38.220 But what if what you're saying is stupid? 1.00
00:05:40.600 Then tell me I'm being stupid. 1.00
00:05:41.760 I would run with that in the whole. 0.99
00:05:45.600 From what I'm hearing, right, it sounds, I had a friend who went through a kind of situation
00:05:50.160 similar to this in the way his missus was communicating this.
00:05:53.420 To me, it kind of sounds like you just needed him to tell you everything's going to be okay. 0.99
00:05:59.260 I just wanted to know if what I'm saying, you actually feel that it is stupid, 0.99
00:06:03.700 or you agree with what I'm saying. 0.97
00:06:05.200 There needs to be some sort of understanding.
00:06:07.100 If we haven't come down to a decision of, yeah, you're being over the top.
00:06:11.500 How is you coming across?
00:06:12.700 Sometimes it's not what you see, it's how you see it.
00:06:14.340 It's how you deliver it, yeah.
00:06:15.500 And sometimes a lot of women are very aggy. 1.00
00:06:17.600 We don't approach it correctly.
00:06:20.340 That is another thing.
00:06:21.080 I'm just keeping it stepping.
00:06:21.660 That is another thing.
00:06:22.740 It is how you approach it and how you, yeah, open up the conversation. 1.00
00:06:27.400 You're not going to accept from calling you stupid, though. 0.99
00:06:30.220 But I have, listen, I'm very understanding. 0.99
00:06:34.380 I know how to communicate.
00:06:35.480 I'm very grown. 0.99
00:06:36.800 If the option was stupid, how would you react to that? 1.00
00:06:39.420 I'd want you to explain why the fuck I'm being stupid. 1.00
00:06:43.100 But then again, it does, it ends up coming down to that, the cycle of the argument, 1.00
00:06:48.260 how women get into arguments with guys and the whole communication.
00:06:50.380 Well, that's it.
00:06:51.060 It sounds like you wanted an argument.
00:06:52.680 Yeah.
00:06:52.980 Sometimes it's what I mean.
00:06:53.260 Because you wanted his attention.
00:06:54.820 Yeah.
00:06:55.280 You wanted his attention.
00:06:56.400 So you rev it up.
00:06:57.720 No, no, no.
00:06:58.380 You get an argument going.
00:07:00.380 It may have been something simple.
00:07:01.820 You get five minutes of his attention, but he's fired up and he's passionate with you.
00:07:05.180 No, it could be something simple, like every day I'll ask you, babe, can you make sure
00:07:08.200 that the dishes that you put in the sink, you wash it?
00:07:10.560 If I've now dealt with that for a whole year and after a year, I'll be like, you know what,
00:07:13.460 babes, I've dealt with you not washing the dishes that I've asked you every single day
00:07:17.680 to make sure you wash.
00:07:19.220 And then you come up with some silly response of, well, I put them in the sink.
00:07:23.620 Yeah, don't you just accept that he's not going to wash the dishes in the sink?
00:07:27.100 And then just leave it.
00:07:27.940 Just like, hey.
00:07:28.560 Because it's about acceptance.
00:07:29.900 No, I'm just using an example, but.
00:07:33.320 Babe, get me a dishwasher. 1.00
00:07:34.060 I'm just thinking, like, what's up?
00:07:35.920 Buy me a dishwasher.
00:07:37.140 No, it's just easy to spread it in.
00:07:38.620 I'm just using your credit card, please.
00:07:39.980 I'm just thinking, what else is the chick there for? 0.99
00:07:42.920 Isn't that your job?
00:07:44.080 No, that was just an example.
00:07:45.140 What do we want to do for 50-50 burial?
00:07:46.420 It's an example.
00:07:48.360 I couldn't think of another example.
00:07:49.980 I just thought that she's in the sink.
00:07:51.180 But I mean, like, you have to remember, I'm a mother at this.
00:07:53.620 So I speak to my child all day long.
00:07:55.600 I have to, don't do this, don't do that.
00:07:57.340 I don't want to have to deal with a man.
00:07:58.720 I say, babes, don't, you know, after that, that's it.
00:08:01.040 I have to keep reminding you not to do something.
00:08:03.740 But so do exactly, live exactly how I want.
00:08:07.220 I am not your mother.
00:08:08.580 But that's the point.
00:08:09.520 Like, you're not supposed to try to control someone.
00:08:11.840 Someone, yeah.
00:08:12.400 Yeah, like, only off the 30th, they try to do that.
00:08:14.940 Also, I was going to say, I was also going to say, if that's the way you're even going to
00:08:22.100 put it, ain't no daughter of you who's going to tell me, I told you to wash the plates. 1.00
00:08:26.560 Like, in whose house?
00:08:27.040 That was an example.
00:08:29.620 No, but the fact is that how you're going to wash their plates.
00:08:32.640 No, but the point is, even if it's an example, that is the way you gave the example.
00:08:36.520 So that's more than likely the way you're going to do it.
00:08:37.620 How you approach it.
00:08:39.020 Is that how you approach it, though, on a normal day?
00:08:41.020 That's how she's probably going to approach it.
00:08:42.340 Because if that's not how she was going to approach it, she'll have given the example.
00:08:44.880 Of the, of the, yeah.
00:08:46.320 Fact.
00:08:46.760 I'm scared of you.
00:08:47.560 Ladies, you're getting to my feelings. 1.00
00:08:49.160 I'm scared of you.
00:08:49.600 Stop it.
00:08:50.020 Don't be scared of me.
00:08:51.140 I mean, I'm very, I like to get my point across.
00:08:54.400 Do you get angered very quick by men in a relationship?
00:08:58.080 I would say a few years ago, 1,000%.
00:09:00.160 You did.
00:09:00.260 But now you control your emotions.
00:09:01.780 I've calmed down a lot.
00:09:02.980 Yeah, because it's very much learning to understand the person that you're with.
00:09:07.000 Understanding my wrongs.
00:09:08.460 All right.
00:09:08.820 I feel like, correct me if I'm wrong, so I feel like your preference of communication
00:09:13.300 comes from, like, instead of just sweeping on the rug and, you know, leaving you because
00:09:17.500 I realized something about you, let me make sure and confirm this is who you are.
00:09:21.980 And I'm not saying that's the right mindset, because if somebody is not washing the dishes
00:09:25.600 for a year, then they're probably not going to ever wash the dishes, so you need to accept
00:09:28.580 that.
00:09:29.020 I don't go.
00:09:29.320 But some people would rather communicate, fight through it, and maybe if you get some understanding,
00:09:34.320 you can change somebody's mind.
00:09:35.500 Not necessarily change their habits, but change their mind.
00:09:37.620 I get some clarity on, this is how you think, this is how you move, this is how the person
00:09:41.180 you are, rather than just sweep it under the rug a year later, now I'm pissed off, I'm
00:09:45.660 just going to leave you because you've done X, Y, Z.
00:09:48.460 We've had a conversation, and you understand, I'm not going to accept this, now I'm going
00:09:53.320 to leave you.
00:09:54.200 Can I ask you, if you does wash the dishes, what's your response? 1.00
00:09:57.740 Damn. 0.99
00:09:58.460 Go and Hoover now. 1.00
00:09:59.240 Go and Hoover.
00:09:59.860 You're not Hoovering.
00:10:00.540 You're not Hoovering.