JustPearlyThings - June 15, 2023


Every Young Man Needs This Video

Topics
responsibility in men stoicism and responsibility
Hosted by
Hannah Pearl Davis
Mentioned
Pearl Jordan Peterson Burdens Tate
The Top G Reveals Why Young Men Are Converting To Islam Modern Women Learn This When Its Too Late

Episode Stats


Length

8 minutes

Words per minute

194.64

Word count

1,664

Sentence count

153

Harmful content

Toxicity

16

sentences flagged

Hate speech

3

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, I talk about the importance of being a man and how to deal with grief, especially when it comes from someone you care deeply for and love. I also talk about how I dealt with the loss of my father and how it shaped me into a better man.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 I'll be honest, that video, Pearl knows this because she was there.
00:00:06.500 I lost my father to cancer recently and Pearl came to the funeral.
00:00:12.480 This is end of last year.
00:00:14.700 And I'm very close to my family.
00:00:17.160 I have a big family and everyone, including myself, was absolutely heartbroken.
00:00:21.980 Of course.
00:00:22.480 Absolutely heartbroken.
00:00:23.720 My siblings, uncles, aunties, cousins, everyone.
00:00:27.120 Because my dad was the leader of the family.
00:00:28.800 He was the head of the family.
00:00:30.320 When anybody needed anything, they went to him.
00:00:34.360 And he instilled a lot of principles in me, etc.
00:00:38.200 What he's saying about a level of stoicism, I took this from Jordan Peterson as well.
00:00:44.580 Everyone was breaking down.
00:00:46.720 I was the one who sorted everything.
00:00:48.560 Everything.
00:00:49.580 It's part of my responsibility because I'm the eldest and I'm the eldest son.
00:00:53.520 I come from a Nigerian family.
00:00:55.000 My aunties, our uncles, breaking down siblings, everyone.
00:00:59.480 I did everything with the help of my cousin and someone else.
00:01:04.460 But I was spear pointing everything.
00:01:06.600 Was I heartbroken?
00:01:07.780 Of course I was. 0.99
00:01:08.780 But someone has to fucking do it. 0.99
00:01:11.020 It's masculine duty. 0.99
00:01:12.480 Someone has to do it.
00:01:14.460 It's masculine duty. 0.55
00:01:15.320 And it's like even now, I have a little brother who's five.
00:01:18.680 It's Father's Day this Sunday.
00:01:19.900 I'm going to take him out because he's growing up without a dad.
00:01:23.440 Someone has to step up to the plate.
00:01:26.020 And so what he's saying about, now, yeah, when I had my own time, I grieved in my own time when I was by myself.
00:01:32.700 But when I was out that door, I had a duty to fulfill to my family and my friends.
00:01:39.500 Pearl was at the funeral.
00:01:41.120 Right?
00:01:41.400 There was like 200 people there.
00:01:44.060 Right?
00:01:44.680 And it's not even that.
00:01:45.420 I'm sorting out the inheritance, his assets, everything.
00:01:47.700 I'm sorting everything out.
00:01:49.160 And what he's saying about an essence of masculinity, it's not about not engaging or not having emotions.
00:01:56.040 But I think part of being a man is taking responsibility for other people.
00:01:59.620 And in order to do that, there is a level of commitment and duty you have to have there.
00:02:04.260 Right?
00:02:04.940 And there's a place and time for everything.
00:02:06.980 So that video I just saw, he is 100% correct. 0.95
00:02:10.700 And I've always been the kind of guy who's been on my shit and I've been very blessed in my journey. 0.98
00:02:16.280 But like, there's a saying, they say, a boy only becomes a man when he buries his father. 0.99
00:02:25.020 Yeah.
00:02:25.380 And when I buried my father, I realized the reason that is, is because spiritually or anything, the mantle is now handed to you.
00:02:39.200 And when your father dies, the little boy who you were dies with him.
00:02:44.960 Does that make sense?
00:02:45.980 And my mom was crying.
00:02:47.080 And the thing is, my parents divorced when I was a baby.
00:02:49.080 And they weren't close, and I'll end this story here with this rant.
00:02:53.900 But the reason she was crying, yes, she was upset because, you know, the father of her child died.
00:02:59.940 But she was like, I'm not ready for the man this is going to turn you into.
00:03:04.800 Because I want to still see you as my little boy.
00:03:07.840 Yeah.
00:03:08.160 Do you see what I'm saying?
00:03:08.820 So, I'm just saying, just as an anecdote to experience, but everything he said in that trailer, he is 100% correct.
00:03:15.820 Yeah.
00:03:16.140 And what you just said, too, it kind of ties into what you were saying earlier about relationships.
00:03:21.420 Like, no matter what, when it comes to marriage or relationships, your duty is to the cause.
00:03:26.860 Which is, we came together to walk this life journey together.
00:03:31.680 To endure together.
00:03:33.140 To go through the hardships together.
00:03:34.860 That's why the Bible says, and all the, whatever religion you want to talk about, for rich or for poor.
00:03:39.440 For better or for worse, right?
00:03:40.900 Because if you're a person, again, going back to what I said earlier.
00:03:43.660 If you're a person that lives based upon your emotions, your life is going to be awful.
00:03:48.720 It's going to be an absolute mess.
00:03:49.580 It's going to be an absolute mess.
00:03:49.980 It's going to be an absolute mess.
00:03:50.500 That's true.
00:03:50.940 For when I was building my business, I started my YouTube channel in 2015.
00:03:55.000 And from 2015 to January of 2019, I had 880 subscribers.
00:04:00.440 It was awful. 0.86
00:04:02.080 I felt dumb. 0.97
00:04:03.040 I felt incompetent. 0.95
00:04:04.060 I felt like, dude, am I just a person with no value? 1.00
00:04:07.540 Am I just a valueless moron? 1.00
00:04:09.620 Uploading this shit and trying to make it happen? 1.00
00:04:12.020 But I knew that at the end of the day, I wanted to make things happen on YouTube. 0.99
00:04:18.260 It has been on my vision board.
00:04:19.780 It was in my mind movies.
00:04:21.600 It was in my, you know, written statement that I keep in my wallet.
00:04:25.680 It was in all these things.
00:04:27.120 And there had been numerous times where I was just like, I just want to quit because I'm tired of feeling like a loser. 1.00
00:04:36.200 I'm tired of feeling like a stupid idiot. 1.00
00:04:38.600 Yeah. 1.00
00:04:38.680 But I knew that quitting would guarantee my failure.
00:04:42.900 And not quitting gave me a fighting chance.
00:04:47.600 And from 2019 to where I am now, you know, monumental success.
00:04:54.020 Yeah.
00:04:54.280 Monumental success.
00:04:55.180 I believe that what I've taken from both of you guys, like the testimonies you just put forward.
00:05:01.740 And sorry for your father's loss as well.
00:05:03.460 Do you want to say that?
00:05:04.060 Yeah, I appreciate it.
00:05:04.740 What I've taken from that is that like, as a man, responsibility is important.
00:05:09.380 And I think it comes down to a biological level as well, that we need to feel responsible.
00:05:14.900 If you look at a lion with their, they run the pack and they're animals.
00:05:19.320 Yeah.
00:05:19.480 So to a biological level, it's important for men to feel like they are responsible.
00:05:25.940 And I feel like the generation that we're in now were selling a false dream to people, making them feel like, oh, you don't have to be as responsible.
00:05:33.340 You can just relax like the girls, just relax like everyone else.
00:05:36.680 And you see that, I think that biological component of, I have to feel responsible.
00:05:41.520 You know how powerful it is to feel that you can look your father's funeral in the face and say, my emotions don't matter.
00:05:49.920 That is a massive thing.
00:05:51.740 And that comes down to your wiring as a person.
00:05:55.200 Cause like, no matter, like I've got sisters, I've got like, you know, I have a mother, I have auntie, so on and so forth.
00:06:01.480 I don't expect them to have the ability to just handle my father's death or to be able to just take over things and just move forward like nothing's happened.
00:06:09.540 But us as men, we don't have, not to say that we don't have the choice, but we're wired to be able to do that the same way a woman is wired to able to handle that child a lot better than some fathers can.
00:06:20.220 Burdens are made for shoulders, not hips.
00:06:21.900 That's what I'm saying.
00:06:22.640 So it's like, I feel like this is why we do need to be pushing the message of men need to be more responsible and accountable.
00:06:29.840 Yeah.
00:06:30.000 It's also a message of generally a message of stoicism, isn't it?
00:06:32.860 Yeah.
00:06:33.060 They talk about stoicism a lot in their content.
00:06:36.320 And we are living in an age where emotionalism is the, is, is the sort of number one factor of the day.
00:06:42.640 It's the main thing.
00:06:43.440 I'm in my feelings.
00:06:44.560 Yeah.
00:06:45.060 It's my truth, et cetera, et cetera.
00:06:47.000 I guess, you know, watching that, what, what Tate really stands against is this emotionalism that affects not only women, but also guys, you know, guys are also, and, and, and, and he's saying, no, you need to be stoic.
00:07:01.620 You need to take a step back and you need to not live in your feelings because sometimes you, you need to step up to the plate.
00:07:06.780 And by the way, again, you know, I, you know, great condolences for, for what you, for what you shared about, but that was a very, very moving and very profound actually thing that you shared.
00:07:16.980 And then I think the reality of the situation is too, I think your father would have no other way, no other way, no other way.
00:07:23.280 Like, because, because if you, if the roles were reversed, he would do the exact same thing.
00:07:27.160 A hundred percent.
00:07:27.720 And like he, he led by example.
00:07:30.260 So I saw that and I'm just, because when his father died, he's not even the eldest sibling, but that's exactly what he did.
00:07:36.460 That's exactly what he did.
00:07:38.120 And I think, I think it's like, I was born and raised here, but I come from a Nigerian family.
00:07:41.560 So I have a both like Nigerian culture and a Western culture.
00:07:44.400 And I'm going to get some hate for this, but I, I do believe it's true.
00:07:47.760 I feel unfortunately, especially with like the black community in the West, right. 1.00
00:07:52.140 In terms of, we're talking like single motherhoods and stuff like that.
00:07:54.600 And don't get me wrong.
00:07:55.140 There's a level of systematic stuff that happened, you know, through decades, but there's an element of ultimately as men, we are responsible for that community.
00:08:04.420 Amen.
00:08:05.140 We are responsible for it.
00:08:06.480 So if stuff is not going right, it's because we're not doing what we need to do and take responsibility and putting the boundaries here, stepping up to plate here, et cetera, et cetera.
00:08:14.980 Like just personally for me, like I could never donate my sperm to a sperm bank because any child of mine is my responsibility.
00:08:23.480 Yeah, it's mine.
00:08:24.180 Yeah.
00:08:24.740 It's my responsibility.
00:08:25.640 I could never do that.
00:08:26.580 Yeah.
00:08:26.840 Do you know what I mean?
00:08:27.300 So I just, I think we have to, to a level, we have to step up to the plate and that's the example we need.