JustPearlyThings - March 18, 2023


Facts Women Don't AGREE ON


Episode Stats


Length

8 minutes

Words per minute

180.84937

Word count

1,516

Sentence count

108

Harmful content

Misogyny

12

sentences flagged

Hate speech

4

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we discuss what it means to be a "Boy Mom" and why it's important to have a male role model in your life. We talk about the benefits and challenges of being a "Girl Mom" vs. a "F Feminist" and how to balance the two.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 I might have to ask you to define that one because the whole feminist definition, it's changed and a lot of times people hang what they want something to mean on a certain word and even things that might have started off a little noble, now they're wild. 0.79
00:00:16.080 A feminist, someone that wants women, that believes women are better than men, they say it's equality. 0.97
00:00:24.960 I was going to say because what I've heard is people say we're equal, you don't want women and men to be equal. 0.92
00:00:28.560 In a way, that's part of the problem is they think men and women are equal, so one, they think men and women are equal, which we're not, we're different, and on top of that, they also think that women are better than men, and they might not say that in the definition, but you can certainly see it by the things they say, like men are trash, the way feminists act in the media, and the issues that they support that are often at the expense of men.
00:00:57.240 So, for example, Me Too, you know, it might have had good intentions, but what are the outcome?
00:01:06.400 So, yeah, that's what I would say, don't be a feminist. 1.00
00:01:09.200 Yeah, that one's a hard one.
00:01:11.780 As a boy mom, sometimes it's a visceral reaction that I get because that mama bear kind of comes up, and, you know, I have heard that.
00:01:19.800 I have heard women that I have worked with basically say men are stupid.
00:01:24.360 You know, you only need one parent.
00:01:26.500 You don't need, you know, a man as long as you've gotten one good parent, and I think that is, it's so detrimental, but these are going to be the same people that kind of wish they had a man when times get hard, in my opinion.
00:01:39.200 That's the saddest thing, where they don't think, like, I think going to a sperm bank and just having a kid is crazy.
00:01:46.460 I know someone that did that.
00:01:48.580 She was morbidly obese.
00:01:52.020 She was in her 40s, and she had twins.
00:01:57.480 And one of the twins came out, like, their foot was messed up because, and I just remember thinking this was a horrible idea.
00:02:05.340 Why didn't you just get married? 1.00
00:02:08.480 Yeah, and I know this one is a really touchy one for a lot of people, but we talked about this yesterday, and I'm just going to say I think inherently it's selfish because I want a child.
00:02:20.100 You have to think about what life are you creating for this child.
00:02:24.560 And, you know, children get their identity from their father.
00:02:28.180 You know, I see it now.
00:02:29.420 We talked about this yesterday.
00:02:31.160 I'm so glad that I co-parent, even though the marriage ended.
00:02:35.600 My youngest is in boarding school.
00:02:38.080 He goes to military school.
00:02:39.100 And my oldest lives with his dad, pretty much.
00:02:41.480 He comes to visit me because at 15, he had his dad the whole time, but it is so important.
00:02:51.060 And, you know, I know people make decisions for what they want, but, you know, we talked about this yesterday.
00:02:56.900 Even if I would have loved to get remarried and have more children, I don't get what I want just because I want it.
00:03:04.920 There are children that are already here, and my responsibility is to finish what I started, and if I'm so fortunate to get married again and live out my golden years, then that is what I get.
00:03:16.340 That is the hardest thing at times, like, as women. 0.88
00:03:20.620 And I've even struggled with this, like, understanding it's his plan.
00:03:24.180 It's not your plan.
00:03:25.380 And so if he wants to do it, we can do it.
00:03:27.460 If not, you know, yeah, I get that.
00:03:30.900 Yeah, I mean, like I said, you know, we had two boys back to back, and I asked my husband at the time, I said, do you want to try for a girl?
00:03:37.600 Do you want three?
00:03:38.600 If he had said yes, we would have, you know, I would have been a mom of three.
00:03:42.740 But he said no.
00:03:43.840 I just think discounting men is, first of all, this is a human being that has, you know, feelings and emotions.
00:03:51.460 And, you know, I just, as a mom, this is a tough one for me because I see what's out there, and, you know, I want everybody to win.
00:04:00.620 But, you know, I do feel very strongly about just completely discounting men just because.
00:04:06.000 Because if the tables were turned, yeah, yeah, there would be a disaster.
00:04:13.500 Oh, I said words to not say anymore.
00:04:15.800 Okay.
00:04:16.080 I decided I'm just tired of these words.
00:04:17.860 Yep.
00:04:18.000 This is from the show.
00:04:18.660 So, partner, horoscope signs, looking for a connection, energy, trauma, toxic masculinity, my truth, healing, my narcissistic ex-boyfriend, my abusive ex-boyfriend, a grape accusation with no evidence.
00:04:35.520 Okay, I'm glad you said that.
00:04:36.900 Don't judge.
00:04:39.100 Yeah, but manifesting equals I want to work, but I want to do no work and get the outcome.
00:04:46.020 As a woman, we know what your gender is. 1.00
00:04:47.880 I did too much, and I let him walk all over me.
00:04:51.220 Equals, I like cheaters and toxic men, and I will choose them and be toxic as well and not admit that I had any part to play except, quote, unquote, giving too much.
00:05:01.480 Generational trauma.
00:05:02.760 I make the same mistakes that my parents make, and I am too dumb to learn from their mistakes, and instead, I will make the same mistakes but blame it on them.
00:05:10.020 In my feminine energy.
00:05:11.460 Men always stare and approach me.
00:05:14.620 I will be submissive for the right man.
00:05:16.780 Men are trash. 0.58
00:05:18.220 Equals, I take no accountability for the negative part that I play or any women play in our relationships. 0.99
00:05:23.980 He needs to make six figures.
00:05:25.820 Equals, I have no emphasis on character.
00:05:28.240 I don't need a man, but I want a man.
00:05:30.460 My ring needs to cost this much.
00:05:32.540 Financial abuse.
00:05:33.980 I became feminine.
00:05:35.120 I need a man to maintain me. 0.80
00:05:37.780 We need to vibe.
00:05:39.220 I feel like.
00:05:40.440 I am traditional when I am single.
00:05:43.960 Oh my goodness.
00:05:45.220 Are these quotes from your show?
00:05:47.240 Yeah, just like talking to girls. 0.84
00:05:50.260 Okay.
00:05:50.840 Almost all of them I understand.
00:05:52.500 Help me understand.
00:05:53.320 Since we were just talking about femininity, I became feminine because you can improve.
00:05:58.440 You know, I understand where you're coming from.
00:06:01.660 I may walk back this one.
00:06:03.340 However, I find that most of the time when women say it, it equals, I did no real work. 0.92
00:06:10.540 I made no real changes, but I say I am feminine.
00:06:13.280 Oh, just like poof. 0.94
00:06:14.600 Okay.
00:06:14.860 Yeah, I just, I became feminine and then I'll like break it down and I'll be like, okay,
00:06:18.660 so what did you do to become feminine? 0.80
00:06:21.180 Or they'll say I was modern and I became traditional.
00:06:23.680 So I'll say, well, what did you do to become those things?
00:06:26.660 And they'll have like just word salad and no real answers.
00:06:32.140 There's like, you know, if you're going to say I became, what you said was a real answer.
00:06:36.440 I worked on lowering my voice.
00:06:37.960 I used to do masculine manner. 1.00
00:06:40.080 Those are real answers.
00:06:41.200 And that actually clarified, that actually clarified.
00:06:45.940 You don't have to, you know, you don't have to copy.
00:06:48.400 I'm getting better.
00:06:49.100 I'm getting better.
00:06:49.840 This is something better.
00:06:51.760 It's important to me, but I mean, I get it.
00:06:54.060 No, you actually clarified a lot of things that like I honestly was so confused when I heard
00:07:01.060 it because I just heard so much like fluff and garbage and even like girls that I know
00:07:06.960 that studied femininity and would say I became feminine had no real answers.
00:07:13.800 Yeah.
00:07:14.280 And then they would say, oh, I became feminine, but you're screaming at your guy.
00:07:19.440 How did you become feminine if you're screaming at him?
00:07:22.200 Right.
00:07:22.820 If you have that response, then you still have some work to do because if you ask these
00:07:27.560 same women, how did you get your cosmetology license? 1.00
00:07:31.700 Oh, I had to study this amount.
00:07:33.300 I had to take these many classes.
00:07:34.700 I had to do these many hours.
00:07:36.180 How did you become a dentist?
00:07:38.140 How did you pick anything?
00:07:39.720 We can walk you through all of the things that we do to get what we want.
00:07:44.000 And a goal of, you know, how you show up in a relationship requires just as much work,
00:07:49.840 if not more.
00:07:50.980 And it's okay.
00:07:52.200 I'm actually kind of proud to say, you know, I have had to do a lot of work to go from that
00:07:57.360 50, 50 mindset to being more of a support system.
00:08:01.600 And I haven't arrived.
00:08:03.020 I still have work to do, but I've gotten a lot better.
00:08:05.640 As many of you know, I was just banned on TikTok and we are demonetized on a daily basis on this
00:08:13.640 platform.
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