JustPearlyThings - March 16, 2023


Female Dating Coaches are FRAUDS!!!


Episode Stats


Length

9 minutes

Words per minute

178.55113

Word count

1,676

Sentence count

136

Harmful content

Misogyny

20

sentences flagged

Hate speech

6

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Femininity is one of those things that is hard to define, but it's also one of the most elusive things. In this episode, we talk about what it means to be feminine and how to improve it.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.160 Could you talk about, okay, because this confuses me.
00:00:03.920 Okay.
00:00:04.800 Oh my gosh, this confuses me.
00:00:06.640 Femininity. 1.00
00:00:07.740 Because a lot of times when women use it, it's so broad. 0.60
00:00:11.560 And there's never any real concrete, like, definition of it that I've seen.
00:00:17.740 And then I see all these femininity coaches that just say, get in your feminine energy. 1.00
00:00:22.540 And I'm just thinking, what the heck does that mean?
00:00:25.220 And I sort of understand what they're saying.
00:00:27.500 But a lot of times, the way it translates to me, just the way I think, is a lot of them doing nothing and then saying they did something.
00:00:37.060 So it's like a lot of women will, like, that coach femininity will be these masculine women that are clearly masculine. 0.73
00:00:44.580 Like, I can see it.
00:00:45.740 Like, I'm talking to you.
00:00:48.040 It'll be like, these girls will come on the show. 1.00
00:00:50.480 They don't cook.
00:00:51.240 They don't do any of the tradition.
00:00:52.520 But they're just in their feminine energy. 1.00
00:00:54.620 And they might say that they cook.
00:00:58.460 But you can just tell when a woman talks about cooking if she actually cooks. 1.00
00:01:03.020 Because a girl that actually cooks will give you more detail. 1.00
00:01:06.220 And, like, a girl that does it will say, like, very broad, oh, I cook this. 0.98
00:01:10.660 Or maybe, like, some recipe she's seen her mom cook.
00:01:13.100 You can just tell.
00:01:14.720 So, like, what is femininity? 1.00
00:01:17.920 How do you improve it?
00:01:20.480 Yeah.
00:01:20.780 What actually is femininity? 1.00
00:01:23.020 And what are the, like, how specifically do you improve it?
00:01:25.820 You know, this one, it's interesting that you say that.
00:01:27.960 We actually talked about this on my last Wives Club episode.
00:01:31.560 That's the other channel that I have.
00:01:32.920 But femininity is one of those things where there is a dictionary definition.
00:01:39.380 And I looked it up.
00:01:40.200 But it's also one of those things that's a little bit elusive.
00:01:42.280 Because it's hard to define, but you know it when you see it, right?
00:01:45.880 However, there are a lot of buzzwords going on right now.
00:01:49.460 We have that soft life era.
00:01:51.400 But it's not something that you put on.
00:01:53.440 It's who you are, especially when you're tested.
00:01:56.120 So, you remember when we talked about, like, I know that I struggle sometimes with tough topics.
00:02:01.480 And so, I have to remove myself, get it together, and come back.
00:02:04.300 Because I don't want to have, you know, an emotional response.
00:02:07.700 Those are the times when you have an opportunity to be, you know, masculine.
00:02:13.180 And you choose not to consistently.
00:02:16.240 So, for me.
00:02:17.040 That's so good.
00:02:18.280 Who you are when you're tested.
00:02:22.560 Okay.
00:02:23.380 Right.
00:02:23.780 So, when the kids are hungry and they're pulling at your skirt, they're like,
00:02:26.680 Mommy, can we eat?
00:02:27.920 F them kids is probably not the most feminine response. 0.60
00:02:32.080 Right.
00:02:32.540 So, you know, we can work on that.
00:02:35.020 But, yes, it's a buzzword that, you know, if people say but they don't do,
00:02:41.120 then they're not feminine.
00:02:42.360 Because if you're truly feminine, I don't have to tell you that I'm feminine.
00:02:45.940 You would pick up on that.
00:02:47.760 Right.
00:02:48.380 So, to me, and the dictionary definition is something about having the qualities
00:02:53.100 or the characteristics of a woman.
00:02:55.260 And when we had our last episode on The Wives Club, I said, you know, for me,
00:02:59.060 I really have been intentional about studying men because I am a boy mom.
00:03:04.040 You grew up between brothers.
00:03:05.700 Watching how they act and doing the opposite.
00:03:08.740 So, if they come into a room and they're all loud, I bring my volume down.
00:03:13.100 I slow down.
00:03:13.840 And I'm mindful of my gestures.
00:03:15.180 If they take up a lot of space, if they're just, like, heavy, you know, stomping around,
00:03:20.180 then I'm like, ooh, okay.
00:03:22.260 And it is something that I had to learn.
00:03:24.340 And we talked about this a little bit yesterday with co-ed schools and just kind of, like,
00:03:28.320 being around boys or any environment that you're in.
00:03:31.960 You're going to pick up on that, whether it's the corporate or whether it's girlfriends that,
00:03:37.120 you know, are a little bit messy or whatnot.
00:03:39.400 So, to answer your question so that I clearly communicate, you know, being feminine is the
00:03:47.720 opposite of a man.
00:03:49.340 And I know things have gotten blended.
00:03:51.220 But I also believe being feminine is being consistent.
00:03:55.900 And being feminine is, you know, like I said, when you're tested, when it's difficult,
00:04:01.940 but you still maintain.
00:04:03.400 So, how do you improve on that?
00:04:04.840 But you seek it out, and you get coaching, and you act on that coaching.
00:04:09.680 Like I shared with you, I learned that I used to have really masculine gestures.
00:04:14.580 I was a little bit all over the place.
00:04:15.780 So, you'll see me kind of put my hands down and clasp them together because I'm being mindful
00:04:21.160 of, okay, I want to be a little bit more delicate and refined.
00:04:28.280 I notice when I get loud, I'll catch myself, and I'll lower my volume.
00:04:32.600 These are just things that I've had to work on.
00:04:34.760 For other people, and I'm not joking, it could be swearing for you.
00:04:38.000 Swearing wasn't an issue for me, but being loud was.
00:04:41.620 It could be being gracious and generous to people.
00:04:45.360 Like, I smile a lot, and I'm pleasant.
00:04:48.240 It might be an area that someone else has to work on because they want to say, you know
00:04:52.880 what, F them kids or whatever.
00:04:54.740 So, being mindful, finding out the areas where you're lacking, because there are different
00:05:00.940 ways to be feminine. 1.00
00:05:03.200 There are different types of it.
00:05:06.340 These are all things that I've studied.
00:05:08.100 Again, for me, it's an area that I could kind of nerd out in.
00:05:11.640 But I think what you said about taking one thing at a time, just knowing it.
00:05:16.400 Kevin always used to say self-awareness, right?
00:05:18.460 I'm not saying I'm a 10.
00:05:19.800 I'm average.
00:05:20.740 I know that.
00:05:21.580 So, I try to really overperform in other areas.
00:05:24.540 And so, you know, a little bit long-winded answer, but I would just like to encourage anyone
00:05:29.520 that you can definitely get better if it's something that's important to you.
00:05:33.400 And femininity is what men respond to because they don't want somebody that reminds them 0.84
00:05:37.100 of themselves.
00:05:37.640 I might have to ask you to define that one because of how feminist definition it's changed. 1.00
00:05:57.800 And a lot of times, people hang what they want something to mean on a certain word.
00:06:02.280 And even things that might have started off a little noble, now they're wild.
00:06:06.640 A feminist, someone that wants women, that believes women are better than men. 0.97
00:06:14.460 They say it's equality.
00:06:16.340 I was going to say, because what I've heard is people say we're equal.
00:06:18.500 You don't want women and men to be equal? 1.00
00:06:20.140 Well, and in a way, that's part of the problem is they think men and women are equal.
00:06:24.860 So, one, they think men and women are equal, which we're not, we're different.
00:06:28.880 Yeah.
00:06:29.020 And on top of that, they also think that women are better than men.
00:06:32.380 And they might not say that in the definition, but you can certainly see it by the, you know,
00:06:38.700 the things they say, like men are trash.
00:06:40.620 Yeah.
00:06:40.720 But the way feminists act in the media and the issues that they support that are often at the expense of men. 1.00
00:06:48.620 So, for example, Me Too, you know, it might have had good intentions, but what are the outcome?
00:06:57.780 So, yeah, that's what I would say.
00:06:59.500 Don't be a feminist. 1.00
00:07:01.000 Yeah, that one's a hard one.
00:07:03.160 As a boy mom, sometimes it's a visceral reaction that I get because that mama bear kind of comes up. 0.92
00:07:08.920 And, you know, I have heard that.
00:07:11.200 I have heard women that I have worked with basically say men are stupid.
00:07:15.420 You know, you only need one parent.
00:07:17.900 You don't need, you know, a man as long as you've gotten one good parent.
00:07:21.900 And I think that is, it's so detrimental.
00:07:24.440 But these are going to be the same people that kind of wish they had a man when times get hard, in my opinion.
00:07:31.060 That's the saddest thing where they don't think, like, I think going to a sperm bank and just having a kid is, I know someone that did that.
00:07:39.980 She, she was morbidly obese. 1.00
00:07:43.380 She was in her 40s and she had twins.
00:07:48.680 And one of the twins came out, like, their foot was messed up because, and I just remember thinking this was a horrible idea.
00:07:56.860 Why didn't you just get married? 1.00
00:07:58.920 Yeah, and I know this one is a really touchy one for a lot of people, but we talked about this yesterday.
00:08:05.040 And I'm just going to say, I think inherently it's selfish because I want a child.
00:08:11.400 You have to think about what life are you creating for this child.
00:08:15.760 And, you know, children get their identity from their father.
00:08:19.560 You know, I see it now.
00:08:20.880 We talked about this yesterday.
00:08:22.540 I'm so glad that I co-parent.
00:08:24.260 Even though the marriage ended, my youngest is in boarding school.
00:08:29.500 He goes to military school.
00:08:30.520 And my oldest lives with his dad, pretty much.
00:08:32.960 He comes to visit me because at 15, he, I mean, he has, he had his dad the whole time.
00:08:39.980 But it is so important.
00:08:42.000 And, you know, I know people make decisions for what they want.
00:08:46.580 But, you know, we talked about this yesterday.
00:08:48.300 Even if I would have loved to get remarried and have more children, I don't get what I want just because I want it.
00:08:56.620 There are children that are already here.
00:08:58.720 And my responsibility is to finish what I started.
00:09:01.320 And if I'm so fortunate to get married again and live out my golden years, then that is what I get.
00:09:07.400 Many of you know I was just banned on TikTok.
00:09:10.640 And we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform.
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