JustPearlyThings - March 16, 2023


Female Dating Coaches are FRAUDS!!!


Episode Stats

Length

9 minutes

Words per Minute

178.55113

Word Count

1,676

Sentence Count

136

Misogynist Sentences

20

Hate Speech Sentences

6


Summary


Transcript

00:00:00.160 Could you talk about, okay, because this confuses me.
00:00:03.920 Okay.
00:00:04.800 Oh my gosh, this confuses me.
00:00:06.640 Femininity.
00:00:07.740 Because a lot of times when women use it, it's so broad.
00:00:11.560 And there's never any real concrete, like, definition of it that I've seen.
00:00:17.740 And then I see all these femininity coaches that just say, get in your feminine energy.
00:00:22.540 And I'm just thinking, what the heck does that mean?
00:00:25.220 And I sort of understand what they're saying.
00:00:27.500 But a lot of times, the way it translates to me, just the way I think, is a lot of them doing nothing and then saying they did something.
00:00:37.060 So it's like a lot of women will, like, that coach femininity will be these masculine women that are clearly masculine.
00:00:44.580 Like, I can see it.
00:00:45.740 Like, I'm talking to you.
00:00:48.040 It'll be like, these girls will come on the show.
00:00:50.480 They don't cook.
00:00:51.240 They don't do any of the tradition.
00:00:52.520 But they're just in their feminine energy.
00:00:54.620 And they might say that they cook.
00:00:58.460 But you can just tell when a woman talks about cooking if she actually cooks.
00:01:03.020 Because a girl that actually cooks will give you more detail.
00:01:06.220 And, like, a girl that does it will say, like, very broad, oh, I cook this.
00:01:10.660 Or maybe, like, some recipe she's seen her mom cook.
00:01:13.100 You can just tell.
00:01:14.720 So, like, what is femininity?
00:01:17.920 How do you improve it?
00:01:20.480 Yeah.
00:01:20.780 What actually is femininity?
00:01:23.020 And what are the, like, how specifically do you improve it?
00:01:25.820 You know, this one, it's interesting that you say that.
00:01:27.960 We actually talked about this on my last Wives Club episode.
00:01:31.560 That's the other channel that I have.
00:01:32.920 But femininity is one of those things where there is a dictionary definition.
00:01:39.380 And I looked it up.
00:01:40.200 But it's also one of those things that's a little bit elusive.
00:01:42.280 Because it's hard to define, but you know it when you see it, right?
00:01:45.880 However, there are a lot of buzzwords going on right now.
00:01:49.460 We have that soft life era.
00:01:51.400 But it's not something that you put on.
00:01:53.440 It's who you are, especially when you're tested.
00:01:56.120 So, you remember when we talked about, like, I know that I struggle sometimes with tough topics.
00:02:01.480 And so, I have to remove myself, get it together, and come back.
00:02:04.300 Because I don't want to have, you know, an emotional response.
00:02:07.700 Those are the times when you have an opportunity to be, you know, masculine.
00:02:13.180 And you choose not to consistently.
00:02:16.240 So, for me.
00:02:17.040 That's so good.
00:02:18.280 Who you are when you're tested.
00:02:22.560 Okay.
00:02:23.380 Right.
00:02:23.780 So, when the kids are hungry and they're pulling at your skirt, they're like,
00:02:26.680 Mommy, can we eat?
00:02:27.920 F them kids is probably not the most feminine response.
00:02:32.080 Right.
00:02:32.540 So, you know, we can work on that.
00:02:35.020 But, yes, it's a buzzword that, you know, if people say but they don't do,
00:02:41.120 then they're not feminine.
00:02:42.360 Because if you're truly feminine, I don't have to tell you that I'm feminine.
00:02:45.940 You would pick up on that.
00:02:47.760 Right.
00:02:48.380 So, to me, and the dictionary definition is something about having the qualities
00:02:53.100 or the characteristics of a woman.
00:02:55.260 And when we had our last episode on The Wives Club, I said, you know, for me,
00:02:59.060 I really have been intentional about studying men because I am a boy mom.
00:03:04.040 You grew up between brothers.
00:03:05.700 Watching how they act and doing the opposite.
00:03:08.740 So, if they come into a room and they're all loud, I bring my volume down.
00:03:13.100 I slow down.
00:03:13.840 And I'm mindful of my gestures.
00:03:15.180 If they take up a lot of space, if they're just, like, heavy, you know, stomping around,
00:03:20.180 then I'm like, ooh, okay.
00:03:22.260 And it is something that I had to learn.
00:03:24.340 And we talked about this a little bit yesterday with co-ed schools and just kind of, like,
00:03:28.320 being around boys or any environment that you're in.
00:03:31.960 You're going to pick up on that, whether it's the corporate or whether it's girlfriends that,
00:03:37.120 you know, are a little bit messy or whatnot.
00:03:39.400 So, to answer your question so that I clearly communicate, you know, being feminine is the
00:03:47.720 opposite of a man.
00:03:49.340 And I know things have gotten blended.
00:03:51.220 But I also believe being feminine is being consistent.
00:03:55.900 And being feminine is, you know, like I said, when you're tested, when it's difficult,
00:04:01.940 but you still maintain.
00:04:03.400 So, how do you improve on that?
00:04:04.840 But you seek it out, and you get coaching, and you act on that coaching.
00:04:09.680 Like I shared with you, I learned that I used to have really masculine gestures.
00:04:14.580 I was a little bit all over the place.
00:04:15.780 So, you'll see me kind of put my hands down and clasp them together because I'm being mindful
00:04:21.160 of, okay, I want to be a little bit more delicate and refined.
00:04:28.280 I notice when I get loud, I'll catch myself, and I'll lower my volume.
00:04:32.600 These are just things that I've had to work on.
00:04:34.760 For other people, and I'm not joking, it could be swearing for you.
00:04:38.000 Swearing wasn't an issue for me, but being loud was.
00:04:41.620 It could be being gracious and generous to people.
00:04:45.360 Like, I smile a lot, and I'm pleasant.
00:04:48.240 It might be an area that someone else has to work on because they want to say, you know
00:04:52.880 what, F them kids or whatever.
00:04:54.740 So, being mindful, finding out the areas where you're lacking, because there are different
00:05:00.940 ways to be feminine.
00:05:03.200 There are different types of it.
00:05:06.340 These are all things that I've studied.
00:05:08.100 Again, for me, it's an area that I could kind of nerd out in.
00:05:11.640 But I think what you said about taking one thing at a time, just knowing it.
00:05:16.400 Kevin always used to say self-awareness, right?
00:05:18.460 I'm not saying I'm a 10.
00:05:19.800 I'm average.
00:05:20.740 I know that.
00:05:21.580 So, I try to really overperform in other areas.
00:05:24.540 And so, you know, a little bit long-winded answer, but I would just like to encourage anyone
00:05:29.520 that you can definitely get better if it's something that's important to you.
00:05:33.400 And femininity is what men respond to because they don't want somebody that reminds them
00:05:37.100 of themselves.
00:05:37.640 I might have to ask you to define that one because of how feminist definition it's changed.
00:05:57.800 And a lot of times, people hang what they want something to mean on a certain word.
00:06:02.280 And even things that might have started off a little noble, now they're wild.
00:06:06.640 A feminist, someone that wants women, that believes women are better than men.
00:06:14.460 They say it's equality.
00:06:16.340 I was going to say, because what I've heard is people say we're equal.
00:06:18.500 You don't want women and men to be equal?
00:06:20.140 Well, and in a way, that's part of the problem is they think men and women are equal.
00:06:24.860 So, one, they think men and women are equal, which we're not, we're different.
00:06:28.880 Yeah.
00:06:29.020 And on top of that, they also think that women are better than men.
00:06:32.380 And they might not say that in the definition, but you can certainly see it by the, you know,
00:06:38.700 the things they say, like men are trash.
00:06:40.620 Yeah.
00:06:40.720 But the way feminists act in the media and the issues that they support that are often at the expense of men.
00:06:48.620 So, for example, Me Too, you know, it might have had good intentions, but what are the outcome?
00:06:57.780 So, yeah, that's what I would say.
00:06:59.500 Don't be a feminist.
00:07:01.000 Yeah, that one's a hard one.
00:07:03.160 As a boy mom, sometimes it's a visceral reaction that I get because that mama bear kind of comes up.
00:07:08.920 And, you know, I have heard that.
00:07:11.200 I have heard women that I have worked with basically say men are stupid.
00:07:15.420 You know, you only need one parent.
00:07:17.900 You don't need, you know, a man as long as you've gotten one good parent.
00:07:21.900 And I think that is, it's so detrimental.
00:07:24.440 But these are going to be the same people that kind of wish they had a man when times get hard, in my opinion.
00:07:31.060 That's the saddest thing where they don't think, like, I think going to a sperm bank and just having a kid is, I know someone that did that.
00:07:39.980 She, she was morbidly obese.
00:07:43.380 She was in her 40s and she had twins.
00:07:48.680 And one of the twins came out, like, their foot was messed up because, and I just remember thinking this was a horrible idea.
00:07:56.860 Why didn't you just get married?
00:07:58.920 Yeah, and I know this one is a really touchy one for a lot of people, but we talked about this yesterday.
00:08:05.040 And I'm just going to say, I think inherently it's selfish because I want a child.
00:08:11.400 You have to think about what life are you creating for this child.
00:08:15.760 And, you know, children get their identity from their father.
00:08:19.560 You know, I see it now.
00:08:20.880 We talked about this yesterday.
00:08:22.540 I'm so glad that I co-parent.
00:08:24.260 Even though the marriage ended, my youngest is in boarding school.
00:08:29.500 He goes to military school.
00:08:30.520 And my oldest lives with his dad, pretty much.
00:08:32.960 He comes to visit me because at 15, he, I mean, he has, he had his dad the whole time.
00:08:39.980 But it is so important.
00:08:42.000 And, you know, I know people make decisions for what they want.
00:08:46.580 But, you know, we talked about this yesterday.
00:08:48.300 Even if I would have loved to get remarried and have more children, I don't get what I want just because I want it.
00:08:56.620 There are children that are already here.
00:08:58.720 And my responsibility is to finish what I started.
00:09:01.320 And if I'm so fortunate to get married again and live out my golden years, then that is what I get.
00:09:07.400 Many of you know I was just banned on TikTok.
00:09:10.640 And we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform.
00:09:14.900 If you want to help, please consider sending a super thanks below.
00:09:19.460 Every donation helps, and it helps make what we do possible.