JustPearlyThings - March 16, 2023


Feminine Woman Describes What Men Find Attractive


Episode Stats


Length

11 minutes

Words per minute

187.34938

Word count

2,099

Sentence count

156

Harmful content

Misogyny

6

sentences flagged

Hate speech

5

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we discuss what women should and should not be wearing on a given night out and how to make sure you re looking your best for a date night or a night out with friends. We also talk about what to look for in a man and what not to look like.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.260 So I wrote this list about, so I grew up in, I would say, upper middle class, and we know a decent amount of, I would say, like, top 10% men.
00:00:08.580 That's pretty common.
00:00:10.360 And I just wrote a list about, like, what those men look for, where I'm from.
00:00:14.860 I know this is different.
00:00:15.740 A lot of people would argue with me and say that, but this is just, you know, white suburban community.
00:00:21.640 This is what.
00:00:22.600 Yeah, and I would argue, we'll go through this list, I would argue in any community, if you have a 1% kind of man, a lot of this stuff is going to hit. 0.60
00:00:30.560 So I put, just because it's kind of small, I'll just sometimes put it like this.
00:00:35.360 Absolutely.
00:00:36.580 No tattoos.
00:00:37.860 Yep.
00:00:38.020 My mom, and honestly, my mom told me not to date guys with tattoos either.
00:00:42.480 Really?
00:00:43.000 I think men can get away with it more, but for the women, hobbies every weekend cannot be going to the bar and looking like a hoe. 1.00
00:00:55.440 Well, that's pretty clear.
00:00:56.980 Yeah, I agree.
00:00:58.020 That's in line with what we talked about, you know, what are your friend group and what do you like to, how do you turn up?
00:01:03.740 No heavy makeup, eyelash extensions.
00:01:06.880 No, my brothers hate super heavy makeup.
00:01:09.420 Absolutely.
00:01:09.660 They won't.
00:01:10.480 No heavy eyeliner, no shopping addiction.
00:01:13.260 Like the way that my brothers, even if they make a lot of money, they still look at you as like an expense.
00:01:18.340 And if stuff goes south and maybe you don't have a lot of money or they're still going to have to pay.
00:01:22.720 Absolutely, men look at everything as an expense, not just the woman.
00:01:28.180 The car, the vacation, the house, the private school for the kids, everything is a line item.
00:01:33.260 That's just how they think.
00:01:34.320 So keeping that in mind, not only is it costly, but also when you have all that stuff on and you look like a runway, a Broadway actor, who is complimenting you?
00:01:47.580 Your girls or the man that you want? 1.00
00:01:50.440 It's often the men they don't want because like that look, I have a friend that like dresses like that, you know, and it's just like, yeah, like men approach you, but it's not the type of men you want to be approached by.
00:02:07.200 Right, what are they approaching you for?
00:02:09.540 Yeah, you know, so I put no piercings except ears.
00:02:15.760 Exactly.
00:02:16.180 So like belly button rings, no, like the nose rings, no, and even the ears, like none of this up here.
00:02:24.020 It has to be, you can do the double or even the triple, but you can't really further than that, no.
00:02:31.240 You have to get ready in 30 minutes or less because otherwise it's like if we want to go somewhere and it's quick, like you can't have this long, extensive routine.
00:02:41.820 Exactly. And that ties back to what we said about all of that elaborate makeup and it ties back to having your capsule wardrobe or having your clothes that, okay, this is my, I wear what I describe as being ready from like the carpool to the kitchen.
00:02:59.280 And then, you know, also because I work remote and I'm in Zoom meetings a lot, I always make sure that I'm presentable.
00:03:05.260 I know sometimes people are like, oh, I'm just running to the store, but you never know who you run into.
00:03:09.740 And a lot of things, a lot of times women don't think about men are always watching and they see you from across the way and they may decide to approach or not based on what they saw.
00:03:19.040 You're, you're making me want to dress better.
00:03:21.880 You're making me, you're making me, you do a really good job.
00:03:24.260 I've seen you with, and not a lot, but I've seen you with like more of a blouse on instead of Niagara Falls.
00:03:31.340 I don't even know, Pearl.
00:03:32.720 It's like, okay, this thing.
00:03:37.660 I've seen you wear blouses.
00:03:39.320 I've seen you kind of curl your hair.
00:03:40.580 I do it for the show.
00:03:42.020 Like to me, that's the, you should do it for your man, the show.
00:03:45.140 I know, I bet like, like, okay, I always think of this as like a behind the scenes versus that for the, with a million subscribers.
00:03:52.100 I know, I know, you're right, you're right, you're right.
00:03:56.060 I'm going to, I'm going to improve guys.
00:03:57.960 Okay, add it to the list one thing at a time.
00:04:01.080 Um, other thing, no super long fingernails.
00:04:04.240 You can get the fake ones, but they have to be like short.
00:04:07.960 Like they can't, I've seen like women, like their wives might get them up to here, but like it's, it's, it's very, 1.00
00:04:14.720 usually French, nothing too crazy.
00:04:17.320 Yes.
00:04:17.720 And I mean, that is one of the things that we, you know, learned about in etiquette and elegance classes.
00:04:21.800 There are just some things that look, um, more refined and there are some things that look a little trashy.
00:04:27.880 I'm not judging anybody, but there's a reason they call a certain manicure an active length.
00:04:33.460 Because when a man is choosing you, he's choosing you for how you are going to be helpful to him.
00:04:40.240 Um, I know we make an emotional decision, but a man can have an emotional experience and then move on.
00:04:46.440 If you are not useful to him, Kevin talked about that.
00:04:49.800 Wow.
00:04:50.020 That's so interesting.
00:04:51.660 Kevin talked about that a lot.
00:04:53.160 So there's so many facets of that, but when it comes to the nails, not only is it, is it an expense?
00:04:59.300 And then it's going to take time away because you got to get them, you know, done.
00:05:03.320 I'm all for a beauty routine.
00:05:05.200 I love, you know, like spa pampered or whatever.
00:05:07.640 And my guy knows that, but I also make sure that nothing that I'm doing to beautify myself gets in the way of being an active mom, you know, being able to cook or clean or wash or do, you know, whatever.
00:05:21.080 I just think the long fingernails, in my opinion, it's kind of nasty because it's not hygienic.
00:05:27.700 Um, and then look at that.
00:05:29.900 And Kevin has been known to say, you know, if certain body parts are not up to par, you know, you can, you know, draw your own conclusions.
00:05:39.880 But yeah, I just, you know, I don't know any man that I respect that has been like, woo, look at those talons.
00:05:47.960 Um, um, I did put, don't be an idiot.
00:05:56.340 Okay, please clarify.
00:05:58.720 So, okay, in my family, now I don't know, this is just, I would just say where I'm from.
00:06:06.920 They won't date, like the women can't be dumb. 1.00
00:06:12.220 Of course.
00:06:12.640 So, and a lot of times, like my brother wouldn't date girls because they were education majors.
00:06:17.840 And he felt like a lot of the education majors were dumb.
00:06:20.920 Because it's an easy one.
00:06:22.260 Yeah.
00:06:22.800 And there's certain like majors that even from the women are a bit looked down upon. 0.94
00:06:27.540 And it's not to say there aren't smart teachers, but there's actually a study and, you know, um, teachers have a standard deviation lower IQ than the rest of the population.
00:06:38.500 Actually, yeah, this is Thomas Sowell's book, The Decline in Dogma of American Education.
00:06:43.360 If anyone's wondering where to find that stat, it's somewhere in the book.
00:06:47.060 Um, I can't tell you the page.
00:06:48.460 But, yeah, so, um, okay, so much for the substitute teacher.
00:06:52.960 I'm sorry.
00:06:53.520 I know, it's fine.
00:06:54.280 It's fine.
00:06:54.740 It's fine.
00:06:55.360 But, um, so like my, there would just be certain things my brothers like would not date.
00:07:00.520 Yeah.
00:07:00.720 And it's like if you're going to do, if you're going to have no education or career, it's not a bad thing, but you have to have like skills to back it up.
00:07:08.740 And it's very important to the men.
00:07:10.500 Like they don't want a dumb woman raising their kids. 1.00
00:07:13.100 No, absolutely not.
00:07:14.720 I mean, I agree.
00:07:15.820 You need to be informed.
00:07:17.460 You don't have to know everything about everything.
00:07:19.400 But I think one thing that would serve, like if you are, um, a little bit underperforming academically, and we know men don't care about our degrees and all that, but if you do need to pick an area of study, study what he does.
00:07:34.380 Be able to communicate in his language.
00:07:36.460 Let's say I'm with somebody who's into real estate.
00:07:38.740 I know nothing about real estate.
00:07:40.180 I have a chemistry degree.
00:07:41.080 I'm like a, you know, tech and, and, um, STEM person, but I try to at least understand, you know, buying a property and hiring a team and doing that kind of work.
00:07:53.320 That's not my natural area, but it shows, um, a dedication to kind of get on his program and at least be useful to him.
00:08:01.480 Cause that's the language that he speaks in.
00:08:03.180 That's the world where he lives and breathes.
00:08:04.800 Um, do not be a beautiful majestic creature.
00:08:11.080 Whale tendencies.
00:08:12.420 Yeah.
00:08:13.000 Um, they want to go with a fitness routine.
00:08:15.360 Cause they also look at what, like your eating habits.
00:08:17.780 Yeah.
00:08:18.180 So a guy might see that you're thin when you're young, but if you're eating all this stuff, they, they kind of think this might not be this much longer.
00:08:26.700 So guys look at like your fitness routine.
00:08:29.560 Yeah.
00:08:30.040 Um, good with kids, of course, um, knows how to cook, having your own recipes as a bonus.
00:08:38.820 I forgot to put on here, ability to learn.
00:08:41.520 I actually think that, or not ability to follow, like coachable.
00:08:47.000 Coachable and teachable is huge.
00:08:48.660 Cause like guys will overlook a lot if they feel like they can train you and that you're willing to be trained.
00:08:54.540 So maybe you can't cook, but you're willing to learn.
00:08:57.960 It's like metal.
00:09:00.700 I had my brother say like, it was absolutely horrible.
00:09:03.160 The meal she cooked, but I was just, it was so, I was so like, it was so sweet of her to like learn this recipe or whatever.
00:09:09.020 Absolutely. And that one ties back to what you had about not being a majestic creature.
00:09:13.740 Cause I don't want to blow past that because I struggle with, you know, um, making healthy choices all the time.
00:09:20.280 I know a big part of it was the stress from, you know, working the way that I was working, but I take full responsibility for what I put in my mouth.
00:09:26.780 But to your point, men really love when you try, even if you're not there yet, you know, we talked in the beginning about, I've lost a lot of weight, but I have a ways to go.
00:09:37.960 And I get so much credit for basically doing what I say I'm going to do and every day making incremental progress.
00:09:46.340 Um, so yeah, that goes along with that fitness routine and, um, you know, being coachable and teachable.
00:09:52.960 You may not get it right, but if you're making a good faith effort, that goes a long way with men.
00:09:58.140 I'll tell you, my brother's engaged and the girl he's engaged to, she's an engineer.
00:10:03.180 Okay. So she's smart. She makes a lot of money doing that. Um, and she went to culinary school for fun. 1.00
00:10:10.520 That's a dream of mine. She's like, there's nothing. I mean, she's talked to him. Maybe I'll open a restaurant or something.
00:10:16.860 I don't know, but I was like, she literally just went to culinary school just to cook for him.
00:10:23.640 Yeah. I mean, for me and the way that I was raised, my mom is a retired, hi mom, home science teacher, formerly home economics.
00:10:31.500 So we talked about this yesterday. I just thought it was normal, but it's okay.
00:10:35.440 If you didn't grow up cooking and doing laundry and cleaning the house, you can learn it.
00:10:40.600 And it's one of those things like I never understood it, but you eat every day.
00:10:44.140 So why wouldn't you cook every day? But I know that's me, but at least trying and making some shortcuts where you need to, I think it goes a long way.
00:10:51.800 It's, it's a way that we show love. That's what we've done for hundreds of years, thousands of years.
00:10:56.240 Could you talk about...
00:10:57.420 I was just banned on TikTok and we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform.
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