JustPearlyThings - March 16, 2023


Feminine woman Outlines how to be feminine


Episode Stats


Length

9 minutes

Words per minute

191.94832

Word count

1,842

Sentence count

159

Harmful content

Misogyny

13

sentences flagged

Hate speech

5

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we talk about what should be on a wife s resume when looking for a husband. We also talk about the importance of a good first husband and what to look for in a good wife. We also discuss what a good husband should be like to grow up in a nuclear family.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.320 You know what I was thinking we could be fun to do?
00:00:02.680 Okay.
00:00:03.080 I'm a little scatterbrained sometimes.
00:00:04.860 Sometimes?
00:00:05.580 All the time.
00:00:06.240 Yeah, all the time.
00:00:07.100 All the time.
00:00:10.560 We should make what should be on your wife's resume. 1.00
00:00:17.240 Ooh.
00:00:17.920 I feel like we can make this together.
00:00:19.840 Okay.
00:00:20.660 Going to make one?
00:00:21.640 Sure.
00:00:22.360 All right.
00:00:22.900 What do you think should be on someone's wife's resume? 1.00
00:00:26.320 Well, since I have a cooking channel,
00:00:28.080 the first thing I would talk about is meal preparation or cooking experience.
00:00:32.620 Meal prep or cooking experience.
00:00:35.480 Mm-hmm.
00:00:35.980 Okay.
00:00:38.120 Experience.
00:00:38.900 Okay.
00:00:39.360 What else?
00:00:40.440 I think if you're getting married, you probably want to have a family.
00:00:44.240 So I would talk about your either babysitting or love for children
00:00:48.800 or anything that is your experience around the little ones.
00:00:55.680 Okay.
00:00:56.640 What about my bag?
00:00:59.080 Should a lot of women want to talk about their career, their bag? 1.00
00:01:02.760 Should we put my bag on here?
00:01:04.720 Absolutely not.
00:01:05.580 Men don't care about that. 1.00
00:01:06.660 Oh, no bag.
00:01:07.440 Okay.
00:01:07.820 Just double checking.
00:01:08.900 Yeah.
00:01:09.300 No.
00:01:10.820 Okay.
00:01:11.320 What else?
00:01:11.800 What else?
00:01:12.580 Well, since we are talking about the bag,
00:01:14.540 I would talk about your ability to manage money.
00:01:18.160 Stick within a budget.
00:01:19.660 Manage money.
00:01:21.000 That's a good one.
00:01:22.240 We have never come up with that one.
00:01:24.260 Yeah, it's important.
00:01:25.500 I mean, if you want, it depends on the type of marriage that you're going to have.
00:01:29.200 And we talk about this a lot.
00:01:30.280 You need to know the type of wife that you want to be. 1.00
00:01:32.180 And you need to know the type of marriage that you want to have because there are different kinds.
00:01:36.760 You know, sometimes people get married if it's a political figure and he just needs someone to look good on his arm.
00:01:42.180 Or somebody could get married for papers if there's any kind of legal situation. 0.70
00:01:46.560 But in most traditional marriages, if you have a breadwinner, which is usually the husband,
00:01:51.920 but it could be different if you are going to be in the role of the wife or the support system,
00:01:57.900 you are not the breadwinner, which means you have to be able to work within the income that is allotted for the family.
00:02:04.200 Ability.
00:02:04.960 We're going to do types of marriages after this.
00:02:07.320 Okay.
00:02:08.000 This is so interesting.
00:02:09.140 Okay.
00:02:09.320 So ability to manage money or stick to a budget.
00:02:11.620 What else?
00:02:12.340 I would talk about relationships, family relationships, like your family of origin.
00:02:17.020 I think that's really important because when you marry, you're not just marrying the person,
00:02:21.460 you're really combining two families because that's how it's been for, you know,
00:02:25.080 hundreds and thousands of years.
00:02:26.720 You're really bringing two families together.
00:02:29.600 What would you, like, what do they need to know about?
00:02:33.160 I would want to know the status of your family of origin.
00:02:36.080 You know, were your parents married?
00:02:37.360 What kind of example did you see growing up of relationships?
00:02:40.820 If your parents are not together, is it amicable?
00:02:44.280 Do you have a small nuclear family?
00:02:46.760 Do you come from a big nuclear family?
00:02:48.880 All of that comes into play because that is what's going to set your expectations for
00:02:53.720 either what you want or you don't want.
00:02:56.240 Wow.
00:02:56.940 That's true because I feel like the way I look at things sometimes it's from, like,
00:03:00.840 a big family point of view.
00:03:02.360 Yeah.
00:03:02.880 So, like, when people, I'm just thinking of, I know not everyone goes on vacation,
00:03:07.660 but that was a big part of my childhood.
00:03:09.580 Like, every summer we'd spend a month and go on vacation.
00:03:11.940 And the thought of just taking two kids and, like, flying somewhere was unheard of to us.
00:03:17.320 Yeah, absolutely.
00:03:18.320 And for me, it's the complete opposite.
00:03:20.280 So, when we were planning for children, my ex-husband now at the time, we both come from
00:03:25.820 families with two children.
00:03:27.180 So, it's me and my brother and it's him and his brother.
00:03:29.920 And so, I'm a boy mom times two.
00:03:31.900 And so, after I gave him two sons, we talked about it.
00:03:34.560 And I asked him if he wanted to try for a third.
00:03:36.900 But because we were used to that family of four, he said, this is enough.
00:03:41.680 So, we stopped.
00:03:42.580 But I know you often talk about having that big family experience.
00:03:45.920 So, for me, it's kind of foreign.
00:03:47.480 Every time I hear you say I have nine siblings, it's like, who does that?
00:03:51.840 But it matters.
00:03:53.600 So, what else would you say should go on the wife? 0.99
00:03:56.580 Like, what should you think about when looking for a husband or, yeah, I mean, this is kind
00:04:02.000 of a comprehensive, like, what are other things to think about for the women if we want to 0.91
00:04:06.840 look for husbands? 1.00
00:04:07.700 Okay.
00:04:08.140 So, well, I would switch that.
00:04:09.900 We don't look for husbands. 1.00
00:04:11.140 We are found by husbands. 0.99
00:04:12.220 So, we present ourselves as wife ready.
00:04:15.260 I would say, since you mentioned the bag, if you do want to work, what is the plan for
00:04:20.680 that?
00:04:20.940 Is it going to be part-time?
00:04:22.200 Is it going to be a work from home?
00:04:23.780 Are you going to have to travel, commute?
00:04:26.880 Is it something you can do, you know, maybe once a week or once a month just to keep your
00:04:30.840 license?
00:04:31.660 So, if you are going to work, what does that look like and how does it support the family?
00:04:35.980 Oh, if you are going to work, what does that look like?
00:04:40.040 Because you, well, you tell them what you told me about how you worked and, like, also had
00:04:44.420 a more traditional relationship.
00:04:47.800 Yeah, absolutely.
00:04:48.880 So, I've been corporate since college.
00:04:50.420 I work in technology, so I work for a software company, and so it's a, you know, competitive,
00:04:57.000 masculine environment.
00:04:58.740 And I admittedly got caught up in that modern woman mindset. 1.00
00:05:02.580 And what happens, literally, I hit the wall.
00:05:04.640 We talked about this yesterday.
00:05:06.220 When you're in your 20s, you really can't see your 40s.
00:05:09.880 But now that I'm in my 40s, I can see 60 really, really easy.
00:05:14.080 And I don't want to do 20-something more years of that.
00:05:16.400 So, you know, like a lot of women, I had the two-hour commute.
00:05:20.180 I was going for the promotion.
00:05:22.180 I had a two-hour commute?
00:05:23.820 Wow, that must have been a long day.
00:05:25.780 It was an incredibly long day.
00:05:27.400 But when you don't think that there's anything odd about that, you just get in line with everybody
00:05:32.820 else and march towards that routine.
00:05:36.760 So what ended up happening for me, like a lot of people with the pandemic, I was able
00:05:41.200 to work from home.
00:05:42.100 And it was kind of like, we're going to try this out for a few weeks.
00:05:44.720 And I ended up loving it.
00:05:46.420 I was able to cook more and eat better, get the weight off.
00:05:50.160 I was less stressed.
00:05:51.300 I was sleeping better.
00:05:52.780 And I was just a better mom overall and, you know, happier in my relationship.
00:05:57.780 So, you know, long story short, now I work remote and I'm never going back to the office.
00:06:06.760 So, that's four hours a day.
00:06:10.460 Yeah.
00:06:10.800 That's crazy.
00:06:11.540 It is, yeah.
00:06:13.420 I just calculate.
00:06:14.440 So now you have 20 more hours a week with your family.
00:06:16.740 Exactly.
00:06:17.840 Exactly.
00:06:18.440 But you probably weren't even thinking about that.
00:06:20.300 You were just thinking about, it's like what you're supposed to do.
00:06:23.180 Absolutely.
00:06:23.860 Because, I mean, let's face it, and corporate America is great.
00:06:26.860 I've worked for some really big companies, but they like to get us when we're young and
00:06:31.140 kind of extract all that energy and that, you know, intellectual capital.
00:06:35.020 And you end up putting all of your best efforts towards a company who could either restructure
00:06:40.580 or be absorbed or say, thanks, you know, you've aged out.
00:06:44.400 Anything could happen.
00:06:45.460 So, just being mindful of that.
00:06:47.180 It's great when you can get it, the promotions, the bonuses, all of that.
00:06:51.080 And I still work, but I do it in a way that serves me.
00:06:54.140 And like I told you yesterday, I am known to tell my, you know, my boss, my work is what
00:06:59.060 I do.
00:06:59.720 It's not who I am.
00:07:00.780 So, what else should we present to the husbands?
00:07:06.560 Well, I think, you know, we would be fooling ourselves since you have had some whale attacks
00:07:12.020 that our fitness, it's huge.
00:07:17.460 And we can't deny that.
00:07:18.980 Are you in shape?
00:07:19.840 Yeah.
00:07:20.260 And what is your fitness routine?
00:07:21.940 Exactly.
00:07:23.720 Fitness routine.
00:07:24.720 I'd love to know what other people think or what you think.
00:07:28.120 I think these are great.
00:07:29.160 I think some of these I've never even thought of before.
00:07:33.760 Like the ability to manage money or stick to.
00:07:36.380 I've always, I've never been a huge spender, to be honest.
00:07:39.480 I've been, other than Ubers, I really like Ubering.
00:07:42.340 And grocery delivery.
00:07:45.240 No, the grocery delivery, it's really cheap here, to be honest.
00:07:49.260 I use it too.
00:07:49.960 I love it.
00:07:50.500 Yeah.
00:07:51.800 Let's see.
00:07:52.440 The comments say, can you take constructive criticism?
00:07:56.060 Ooh, that's a good one.
00:07:57.160 That's a good one.
00:07:58.320 Feedback.
00:07:59.080 How do you handle constructive criticism?
00:08:07.580 And that one kind of goes back, Pearl, to what we talked about with your nuclear family.
00:08:11.400 When you grow up with a strong father, you all know, well, maybe you all don't know, but
00:08:14.840 I am an immigrant born in Ghana, raised in the South, so I'm an Atlanta girl, but I am
00:08:21.400 used to getting direction very bluntly.
00:08:25.640 And then maybe you go cry in the corner, but you get yourself together and you move on.
00:08:29.480 It's not the end of the world.
00:08:30.600 And so if you don't have that and you've been coddled and you haven't had siblings that you've
00:08:35.300 had to kind of, you know, compete with in a way, you get feedback as an adult and it
00:08:41.520 can destroy you.
00:08:42.980 And that is not helpful in a relationship.
00:08:45.500 That's the one thing I think volleyball really helped me with is like, you can just, you can
00:08:49.620 take criticism so easily because you're just so, like, if you don't take the criticism,
00:08:54.720 you're riding the bench.
00:08:55.960 Absolutely.
00:08:56.360 I think sports are great.
00:08:57.880 And I told you this yesterday, I think my guy says it all the time.
00:09:00.880 I think all girls should play a sport because it gets you in that state of mind where it's 1.00
00:09:05.280 like, okay, I'm not good enough in this area.
00:09:07.180 I need to work on it.
00:09:08.180 And that is a skill.
00:09:09.200 I saw that with you yesterday with the cooking, we poached the eggs and you did four of them.
00:09:12.960 And if it wasn't right, you said, I'm going to get that right.
00:09:15.040 I want to try again.
00:09:15.940 And I could tell that's the athlete in you.
00:09:17.920 So it's a good quality.
00:09:19.500 As many of you know, I was just banned on TikTok and we are demonetized on a daily basis on
00:09:26.160 this platform.
00:09:27.500 If you want to help, please consider sending a super thanks below.
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