JustPearlyThings - October 25, 2023


Feminist Doesn't Like Pearl's List


Episode Stats


Length

11 minutes

Words per minute

189.49886

Word count

2,139

Sentence count

263

Harmful content

Misogyny

30

sentences flagged

Hate speech

25

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we discuss the things that men are looking for in a woman and what they don't want. We also discuss what we should stop saying to men and how to say them to them. We also talk about toxic masculinity and toxic men.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 A couple months ago, I made a list of the things that us as women should stop doing.
00:00:06.080 Now, this is not to say that I am perfect and have never said anything on this list.
00:00:11.900 However, I just felt like this was a very, very good list.
00:00:17.080 So this is the things that men look for, basically, or don't want.
00:00:21.760 It's like want, don't want kind of a combination.
00:00:24.420 No tattoos.
00:00:25.280 Tattoos.
00:00:26.140 Your hobbies cannot be going to the bar every weekend and going out all the time looking like a hoe. 1.00
00:00:30.560 No heavy makeup, eyelash extensions.
00:00:32.560 No super heavy eyeliner.
00:00:34.260 No shopping addiction.
00:00:35.700 No piercing except ears.
00:00:37.160 Be able to get ready in 30 minutes or less.
00:00:39.920 No super long fingernails. 0.69
00:00:41.300 Do not be an idiot.
00:00:42.680 Do not be a beautiful, majestic creature.
00:00:45.280 A girl, she has to have a fitness routine. 1.00
00:00:48.220 Good with kid.
00:00:48.860 Knows how to cook.
00:00:49.780 Coachable.
00:00:50.320 Teachable.
00:00:50.840 Feminine.
00:00:51.660 Do not be a feminist. 1.00
00:00:52.660 Men want women that work hard but not too hard and at the right things. 0.70
00:00:57.080 They do not want a girl that wants a career more than a family. 1.00
00:01:00.240 This is my favorite one.
00:01:01.640 The words we're going to stop saying.
00:01:05.380 Partner.
00:01:06.120 Horoscope signs.
00:01:07.200 Looking for a connection.
00:01:08.360 Energy.
00:01:08.840 Trauma.
00:01:09.360 Toxic masculinity.
00:01:11.180 My truth.
00:01:12.380 Healing.
00:01:12.820 My narcissistic ex-boyfriend.
00:01:14.460 My abusive ex-boyfriend.
00:01:16.200 Grape accusations.
00:01:17.700 Don't judge.
00:01:18.460 Yeah, but.
00:01:18.980 Manifesting.
00:01:20.160 Equals, I want to do no work and still get the outcome I want. 0.97
00:01:23.600 As a woman.
00:01:24.400 We know you're a woman.
00:01:25.760 I did too much and I let him walk all over me.
00:01:29.060 Equals, I like cheaters and toxic men and I will choose them and be toxic as well and not 1.00
00:01:33.520 admit my part that I had any part to play except quote unquote giving too much.
00:01:38.600 Generational trauma.
00:01:39.500 I make the same mistakes that my parents make and I'm too dumb to learn from their mistakes
00:01:43.620 and instead I will make the same mistakes but blame it on them.
00:01:47.000 I'm in my feminine energy.
00:01:49.500 Men always stare and approach me.
00:01:51.820 I will be submissive for the right man.
00:01:54.840 Men are trash. 0.58
00:01:55.700 Equals, I take no accountability for the negative part that myself or any women play in relationships.
00:02:01.380 He needs to make six figures.
00:02:02.960 Equals, I have no emphasis on character.
00:02:05.600 I don't need a man but I want a man.
00:02:07.480 My ring costs this much.
00:02:09.240 Financial abuse.
00:02:10.200 I became feminine.
00:02:11.080 I need a man to maintain you. 0.99
00:02:14.680 We need to vibe.
00:02:15.660 I feel like I'm a traditional when I am single.
00:02:18.960 Manish.
00:02:19.700 I will be submissive for the right man who hurt you.
00:02:22.420 Internalize misogyny.
00:02:23.860 I'm leveling up altogether.
00:02:25.860 I need a man to be on my level.
00:02:28.940 I'm a boss babe.
00:02:29.920 I'm a bad bitch. 1.00
00:02:31.140 These men are broke and dusties.
00:02:33.120 I am the table.
00:02:34.440 I am a 10.
00:02:35.800 He needs to add to what I have going on in my life.
00:02:38.540 Not all women equals that is a problem with women, but I won't admit it's a problem. 0.97
00:02:44.900 I need someone to match my energy.
00:02:49.160 I still don't really know what that means.
00:02:51.700 I am his peace.
00:02:53.340 Broken men.
00:02:54.900 Men are F boys. 0.66
00:02:56.420 My body, my choice.
00:02:57.760 He hit me harder than I hit him.
00:03:00.080 Body positivity manifest.
00:03:02.760 I am not fat.
00:03:03.840 I am plus size or thick, small d energy.
00:03:07.320 My ex was a narcissist.
00:03:08.780 I am a queen who hurt you. 0.96
00:03:10.680 No respect for my own mother.
00:03:12.740 Yeah.
00:03:13.180 I mean, how is that?
00:03:14.460 Those are all the words that you can't say.
00:03:15.980 Yeah.
00:03:16.340 What can we say then?
00:03:17.720 I have a list.
00:03:20.940 Don't worry.
00:03:22.220 I'm so here to help.
00:03:25.500 All right.
00:03:26.120 And this is collaborative.
00:03:27.800 So if you guys have anything you want to add to it, you know, feel free.
00:03:31.980 Phrases to add.
00:03:32.780 I trust you.
00:03:33.440 I support you.
00:03:34.500 Whatever you say, honey.
00:03:35.860 Thank you.
00:03:36.340 I have your back.
00:03:37.180 I'm making this for dinner tonight.
00:03:38.900 I believe or I think.
00:03:40.460 What can I do for you?
00:03:41.800 How can I help?
00:03:42.500 I'm proud of you.
00:03:43.160 I believe in you.
00:03:43.880 I couldn't do this without you.
00:03:45.060 I need you.
00:03:45.620 I love you.
00:03:46.180 I miss you.
00:03:46.680 I care about you.
00:03:47.320 I want you.
00:03:48.160 I admire you.
00:03:49.760 Oh, gosh.
00:03:50.220 I always forget this one.
00:03:51.300 I'm not reading that.
00:03:52.380 You inspired.
00:03:52.980 Get in the bedroom and drop your pants before you go to work.
00:04:01.520 You inspire me.
00:04:04.820 Thank you for working so hard.
00:04:06.820 Babe, I know you didn't mean it.
00:04:07.980 I'll let it go.
00:04:08.500 It's not a big deal.
00:04:09.700 I love that.
00:04:10.280 I love that.
00:04:10.860 I actually love that.
00:04:11.460 At least there was shoot.
00:04:12.480 I love that.
00:04:13.360 I love that.
00:04:13.500 I love that.
00:04:13.920 Well, you know, we can add more if you have things you want to add.
00:04:17.260 It's really collaborative.
00:04:18.560 I've worked with a lot of people on this.
00:04:20.480 Okay, cool.
00:04:20.860 I think that whatever you say, honey, that's the only thing.
00:04:25.160 That depends on the context.
00:04:27.280 Exactly.
00:04:27.620 And I was thinking that as well, yeah.
00:04:28.560 It can be a little bit like, oh, you know, like, oh, I have to do it again.
00:04:33.340 I just, you know, it depends on the context.
00:04:36.940 See, this is where the good women are gone. 1.00
00:04:38.400 You don't want to do that.
00:04:39.600 If you're with the right woman, that won't happen. 0.99
00:04:42.020 If you're with the right woman, if you're with the right man, that won't happen. 1.00
00:04:45.500 It depends on the context.
00:04:47.140 She's right.
00:04:47.780 It does.
00:04:48.400 But it doesn't matter.
00:04:48.920 I have to be honest.
00:04:50.340 I think women that say this, because I hear this a lot, it typically means I am disagreeable
00:04:56.480 and I don't want to listen.
00:04:57.860 Okay.
00:04:58.660 Typically.
00:04:59.540 Or the men I pick aren't worthy.
00:05:02.640 Or like something, like I like bums, basically, is the other, like, it's like a trend.
00:05:06.540 Well, some women pick men who are, I think for their character too, I don't want to say that
00:05:14.100 because then you're going to be like feminine, masculine.
00:05:15.620 No, like, too, you know, like, she's not feminine enough. 1.00
00:05:19.540 The man is really masculine.
00:05:21.840 So she's in her feminine most of the time, but sometimes she's like, oh. 1.00
00:05:26.460 See, I see the language.
00:05:27.780 In her feminine. 0.92
00:05:29.040 Yeah, I knew you were going to pick that up, girl.
00:05:31.840 I just think it's like nonsense.
00:05:34.860 I know.
00:05:35.060 I know.
00:05:35.120 It's like these women that go on Instagram and they'll say, oh, I'm a feminine. 0.99
00:05:40.240 I don't know if it's you.
00:05:41.200 I hope that's not what you do.
00:05:42.780 But like, it's like, I'm now a femininity coach.
00:05:46.180 And there's some genuine ones.
00:05:47.840 I'm not going to say there's not.
00:05:49.140 There are genuine ones that help.
00:05:50.300 Do this too.
00:05:51.380 Masculine, feminine energy. 0.85
00:05:53.180 The ones that I see that are full of shit.
00:05:56.460 Because men actually look to solve problems. 0.97
00:05:58.380 So if you look at, like, men's improvement, it's very practical.
00:06:02.080 So it's very much like go to the gym, screw a bunch of girls so you know how to, or do, 0.96
00:06:07.520 you know, like, I don't even, there's an ex-corn star that's been on my show.
00:06:10.720 He has very practical, you know, tips.
00:06:13.040 Not my thing, right?
00:06:14.260 But like, and, or they'll do, like, go to the gym, make more money.
00:06:18.820 Women, it's very, like, broad. 1.00
00:06:21.420 Like, like, soft life.
00:06:24.080 I'm going to sit at home.
00:06:25.880 And it's never, like, concrete steps.
00:06:28.760 I've only had one, like, femininity coach give me, like, real concrete steps that isn't just, 1.00
00:06:33.320 like, journaling or.
00:06:35.020 Actually, I have something to say about feminine, feminine, feminine coaches. 1.00
00:06:41.400 They operate from, again, energy.
00:06:46.260 But, like, what is to be feminine?
00:06:47.760 They tell you be creative, like, focus on things that make you tap into the woman,
00:06:52.940 like, that traditional woman. 1.00
00:06:54.420 That's what they are all about.
00:06:56.540 Like, try to, for, I've been in touch with some of them.
00:07:00.240 They tell you, like, listen to music, dance, or create something with, like, a painting,
00:07:06.220 or something tangible with, like, artistic.
00:07:10.520 Yeah.
00:07:11.080 And to me, this sounds like nothing useful to a guy.
00:07:15.140 Go listen to, like, go listen to some music.
00:07:19.880 But I can.
00:07:20.920 Like, I'm just, I just have, yeah.
00:07:23.940 There's only been one femininity coach that, like, actually talked about real stuff.
00:07:28.020 And she helped me write most of these, like, words to add.
00:07:30.680 In the short term, it might seem that it's not helping.
00:07:33.880 But imagine on the long term, rather than a woman being in her, as I say, masculine energy, 0.53
00:07:39.880 which is, like, shouting and confronting.
00:07:42.120 She learns to be submissive, but, like, step by step.
00:07:45.360 First of all, by tapping into these skills, then to be comfortable just doing, even something
00:07:52.560 such as cooking.
00:07:53.760 They tell you cooking makes you tap into your feminine energy more and more. 1.00
00:07:57.900 So maybe by building those little habits.
00:08:01.440 I think cooking, yeah, I don't think cooking's bad.
00:08:04.420 But I just, you can't convince me.
00:08:09.000 Do you know why we need these now?
00:08:10.780 I agree with you.
00:08:11.960 I agree that it shouldn't matter, but we need these now because a lot of women and 1.00
00:08:16.820 men as well forgot that natural state.
00:08:21.020 You know, what's your natural state as a woman? 1.00
00:08:23.260 I don't know, because I get really confused, because I hear these, like, women talk about 1.00
00:08:26.960 soft life, right?
00:08:28.240 But, like, our great grandmothers really didn't have a soft life. 0.99
00:08:32.520 They were milking, like, at least I'm from the U.S., they were milking cows.
00:08:35.680 Like, have you seen Amish people?
00:08:37.040 That's where they used to live.
00:08:38.260 Like, they do not have a soft life.
00:08:39.700 And soft life, to me, is living off a man. 0.90
00:08:42.700 That's what I see as a soft life.
00:08:45.420 Maybe.
00:08:45.900 Yeah.
00:08:46.340 When you ask where all the women, good women, went, I mean, to me, they went to confusion 0.89
00:08:49.820 and independence.
00:08:51.040 Right.
00:08:51.240 And this confusion is a diffused awareness, because of the primal nature, right?
00:08:56.480 A man is hunting.
00:08:57.640 He's directive in his focus.
00:09:00.420 And a woman is diffused, because she only has a certain amount of daylight hours to get 1.00
00:09:03.800 as many berries as she can.
00:09:05.160 And she's very skilled at it. 0.99
00:09:06.440 She can do it way quicker than a man, apparently. 1.00
00:09:08.140 And it's part of our survival mechanism.
00:09:11.140 And so it is kind of obtuse and broad when we think about how we go back into our feminine 0.98
00:09:16.180 nature.
00:09:16.900 So we're not, you know, in this CEO role of our families, of our relationships, of our
00:09:23.720 businesses.
00:09:24.240 And then we got to come home and then deal with the reality of like, you know, being
00:09:28.760 a partner, which is a totally different energy.
00:09:31.080 It's not, you're not directive.
00:09:32.840 Like, yeah, you got to get the meal on the table.
00:09:35.360 And my grandmother and my mother, they worked really hard as homemakers.
00:09:38.700 It was like taboo for them to work.
00:09:40.920 Yeah.
00:09:41.220 But my generation and our generation now, that's very, it's a lot of confusion.
00:09:46.220 And we're still growing into that.
00:09:48.280 You know, how do we balance that?
00:09:49.900 It's Beyonce's fault.
00:09:52.600 I'm being serious.
00:09:53.420 She made a tune called Single Ladies, all of these things with a ring on her finger. 1.00
00:09:57.700 I think we're very capable.
00:09:59.240 You know what I'm saying?
00:09:59.900 But I think there's a lot of confusion.
00:10:01.280 From the 90s, to be honest, you'll say you're right.
00:10:03.520 From the 90s, 2000s, whatever, there's been a lot of independence, independence, do your
00:10:08.720 thing, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
00:10:10.000 Cool.
00:10:10.780 You can do your independence.
00:10:11.940 But if you don't need a man, then cool.
00:10:14.600 Someone said modern day gathering has turned into shopping.
00:10:19.080 Yeah, but why do you think women are having burnout, endocrine disruption, cancer, depression? 1.00
00:10:26.780 I mean, there's all these issues with women's health because they're trying to be a man. 1.00
00:10:30.980 Because they're trying to, exactly.
00:10:31.940 No, I spoke to a hormone doctor about this.
00:10:34.840 He said women and men don't handle stress the same, and it really messes up our hormones
00:10:39.840 being in high-stress positions.
00:10:41.860 And you know what the matter is?
00:10:42.680 If you stay in your feminine energy and you come home and you look after your partner, 0.96
00:10:46.000 your man is going to want to look after and do everything in his power to make sure you're
00:10:50.040 good.
00:10:50.760 Yeah.
00:10:50.980 That's as simple as I can explain it.
00:10:54.340 Like, as long as you stay in your feminine and you look after that man, he's going to 0.99
00:10:57.440 do everything for you, regardless, like, naturally.
00:10:59.620 But earlier with what I was saying, if you're not showing certain things to him, he's going
00:11:03.800 to see that.
00:11:04.260 I'm like, all right, cool.
00:11:05.040 She's not really my kind. 0.78
00:11:07.140 I'll sit back.
00:11:07.920 I'm there, but I'll sit back a little bit.
00:11:09.740 But if he sees you're making effort, like, even cooking, cooking, if you want to get through
00:11:14.240 to a man's heart, it's through his belly. 0.89
00:11:15.600 100%.
00:11:16.040 Simple as that.
00:11:16.660 Do you get what I'm saying?