JustPearlyThings - Feminist Kept Avoiding This Question

00:00:00.000 that is very so i was a sexual health advisor for the largest trust in the uk

00:00:04.800 bpass who are the british pregnancy advisory service i'd also the number one i'd also like

00:00:09.260 to say every single person that i know that's had an abortion it was like just them being 0.95

00:00:13.780 irresponsible like it was literally just them being like i don't know a single person well i

00:00:18.660 i've in my time in my position i'd only spoken to one girl who was like oh yeah i need an abortion 1.00

00:00:24.420 but i used to know the bpass number but off by heart it's something like oh 300 300 800 or oh

00:00:29.240 300 800 oh i mean i knew it off by heart but the first woman i ever spoke to an assistant in

00:00:33.960 abortion she was a married woman she had two kids her oldest son was um disabled um she was like

00:00:42.240 even my daughter that we had was like an accident but a happy accident and she was like she was

00:00:47.480 sobbing to me on the phone she was like in her late 30s and she was like something maybe say that's not 0.63

00:00:52.760 really like natural if we're like sobbing like like if that's your reaction to it yeah yeah no no not at

00:00:58.960 but then i was like you don't need to explain yourself to me i was like it's not my business

00:01:03.060 i was like it's not my business it's not my opinion i was like you like you've clearly had 0.99

00:01:06.980 like a nice night with your husband your family like you've got a lot of shit going on i was like 0.99

00:01:10.640 it's not my business i was like if you want an abortion get an abortion yeah but then i've also 0.99

00:01:13.680 spoken to some women who were like really chill like hey i need an abortion as if it's birth control 1.00

00:01:20.220 yeah and i'm there like honey like that's just go just go on proper birth control you know you

00:01:27.420 know my mom was in a position where she like like most people would have advised her to get an

00:01:32.300 abortion because she was 17 and she got pregnant but um by my dad actually at the time and they

00:01:38.020 actually ended up like giving up that kid for adoption and he like he ended up being like a

00:01:42.900 really successful like sales software engineer he just got married that's why i actually have a really

00:01:46.840 hard time with it because i feel like if anyone was going to get it it could have been my mom

00:01:51.680 like she was broke she was 17 so this is very interesting um i studied under professor roger

00:01:59.220 ingram if he's ever watching which he might not be so i studied um psychology of sexual health

00:02:04.680 and we did um my personal project was outcomes of teenage conception yeah and it's proven all of the

00:02:12.280 research and you have to obviously look in the bias all the research shows that it's more

00:02:16.500 harmful for the woman the bearer of that child to have a child and give it up than it is to have 1.00

00:02:22.040 an abortion what do you what what does that mean it's more like so the woman for the rest of her 1.00

00:02:28.200 life will be like did i make the right choice is my child okay rather than being like i'm gonna have

00:02:33.080 an abortion and this is why and so i think i think a lot of times like again we're making it about us

00:02:38.060 when it's really it's not about you because there's a kid in the picture yeah so you can't you can't

00:02:42.560 you can't you can't then but then it's like why is that kid more important than you why i mean i

00:02:48.660 think in my mom's case like he grew up to like have a really great life yeah yeah like and so

00:02:53.060 it's it kind of like rubs me the wrong way we don't use the word i think i think that's like why

00:02:56.880 it rubs me a wrong way a little bit when people are like make it not a life because like my brother

00:03:02.180 grew up and like yeah did all these like amazing yeah and that's always gonna be but this is why so

00:03:06.940 uh roger and groom he's a professor he's a professor he's like the best in his field um he so he

00:03:13.240 literally told everyone he was like we don't use the term pro-life right to be pro-life you would have

00:03:17.660 to be a vegetarian a vegan you won't step on an aunt but you would care about that woman yeah telling you

00:03:22.620 i want an abortion because i mean you're you're either pro-choice or you're anti-abortion you're not

00:03:28.620 pro-life because to be pro-life i need you to clarify that so because i step on ants yeah pro-life

00:03:36.300 that doesn't really make sense so because that's well then you're not pro-life because that's a

00:03:39.900 life that's that's not a human life so then you're pro-human life but then if you're pro-human but

00:03:45.120 like i think it's like easily implied like like everyone everyone you know you know okay okay let

00:03:50.540 me just let me just let me just ask you do you do you think there's a difference between a human life

00:03:54.380 and an ant yeah i do but then it's still a life it's all right but i know but like is you just kind

00:03:58.880 of trying to get like a gotcha question like oh it's a low one clearly everyone everyone knows the

00:04:03.140 i want an abortion yeah why is her life less important because i don't think just because 0.96

00:04:11.340 you have a kid your life is over i also think i also think the argument is that she's in that

00:04:17.500 situation because of the decisions that she's made whereas the consequences happening to the child

00:04:25.300 which is the only innocent party arguably does that make sense but again it's like if it's a ball of

00:04:31.620 cells but also okay what if she's on contraception and she's taking it's not even just like it has

00:04:35.540 a unique dna sequence yeah like a very like you can see but then why is it valuable if she doesn't 0.80

00:04:41.040 value it why is it valuable to everyone else and then we go on to adoption okay if these kids are

00:04:45.940 valuable why are we overrun in every western community of like children get that's it they get

00:04:53.880 your so you think the kids aren't valuable if they're poor i think they're valuable but they're

00:04:58.220 not being adopted by people who are pro-life they're they are they're my parents are pro-life

00:05:02.840 they adopted three kids and gave up one but that's but that's just your personal experience

00:05:06.580 right there's a lot of people that want to adopt like even now like yeah it's it's but then there's

00:05:11.100 a lot of life but could you let me finish um but the problem is that like the legal systems are

00:05:17.340 aren't don't make it easy yeah no no so a lot like there's families that have been waiting for years

00:05:22.340 to adopt but like they want a baby they don't want a kid that's been waiting for years oh for sure

00:05:28.120 that's i mean i've seen like i've actually seen the negative like consequences of getting a kid

00:05:32.200 that's too old it's really hard to d like if you if you get them past a certain age a lot of them come 1.00

00:05:36.680 with a lot of issues yeah like this is it yeah professor was drinking all of the research shows so i

00:05:41.920 think ideally i think ideally like it would be better if the kids were adopted earlier rather than like

00:05:47.500 growing up in foster care like that's not good for any kid yeah but then they don't get a choice in

00:05:51.420 that they don't get a say when they're born that's just a decision made for them by being

00:05:55.480 forced to be born and there's a lot of people who will joke and be like i didn't ask to be born so

00:06:01.020 i was suicidal for three years and i was like i didn't ask to be born and my mom will say to me

00:06:05.120 my mom is quite unwell at the moment my mom will say to me i wish i bought she's like i wish i bought

00:06:09.420 you yeah that's really sad that's really sad but i know she doesn't mean it i know she lost me but

00:06:13.520 she's like i have so much guilt and she was a mom who carried us to term who looked after us and she's

00:06:18.880 like i still feel like i can't provide for you and i'm like no i get it i understand that you would

00:06:24.620 not have a lot of guilt you wouldn't have a lot of like responsibility like x y z 0.99

00:06:28.520 um but i'm again it's like it's also a difference i'm like i understand that for a lot of people

00:06:34.540 their successful stories for a lot of people um but for myself individually yeah i'm very i'm very

00:06:40.480 pro-choice yeah it's not black or white it's just like almost like we focus on like the negative

00:06:44.800 stories rather than the positive like even even when me and you talking about this now like your

00:06:49.420 focus immediately is well there's all these kids in foster care that can't get adopted rather than

00:06:54.100 like the story i just told you of the three dot like right you know it's just weird how like that

00:06:58.580 that's your immediate focus rather like there's both you know what i mean just banned on tiktok

00:07:04.480 and we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform if you want to help please consider

00:07:11.100 sending a super thanks below every donation helps and it helps make what we do possible

JustPearlyThings - April 28, 2023

Feminist Kept Avoiding This Question

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript