JustPearlyThings - December 24, 2022


Finally, SHE UNDERSTANDS Men's Struggle


Episode Stats


Length

19 minutes

Words per minute

225.11247

Word count

4,353

Sentence count

1

Harmful content

Misogyny

41

sentences flagged

Hate speech

37

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we discuss child support and why it should be taken away from men who do not pay child support for their children. Is it fair for a woman to ask for child support from a man if she wants to leave him?

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 in here not the actual not because if we if we're like okay you need to get a job don't get his
00:00:05.640 money but the child isn't affected in that so it's not the it's not the woman or the man maybe
00:00:11.160 she should think about that before she leaves him i'm not i'm not i'm not favoring any one of them
00:00:16.100 yeah i'm just talking about the child because he the child is affected yeah so so so to me if you
00:00:21.120 took away child support it would take away the incentive for women to leave because now they're 1.00
00:00:24.940 rewarded for leaving but that depends on each case though because some cases the guy leaves
00:00:31.900 20 i wouldn't say i'm i wouldn't go through proportions i wouldn't i wouldn't go through
00:00:37.580 data i'm just talking about each different societies right and but what i'm saying is that i don't think
00:00:42.840 he should just leave for no reason too i think people are really not careful nowadays when it
00:00:47.480 comes to like having children how do you know that you know the money is solely being used for the
00:00:52.340 child that's you don't and that's a lot of the reason why a lot of men don't want to pay the
00:00:56.040 money bro because they're like hold on i'm not paying nine grand a month child support it's like
00:01:00.400 yo what kind of food you eating in the house especially when she has another man in the house 0.99
00:01:04.000 but you're still paying like that's that's but that's your child at the end of the day like
00:01:10.360 it's your child you wouldn't ask another man to pay for the child right so so you should get a job 0.95
00:01:15.320 and try to take care of her of course no no i'm not i'm not favoring any one of them i'm just saying
00:01:19.080 that because the child is affected here we should be thinking about what's better for the child
00:01:24.080 if she's earning more than him i wouldn't say that the guy should give uh child support i would say
00:01:28.720 she should be doing that she should be taking care of her i'm not talking i'm not favoring any of any
00:01:32.840 one of them and i know it's wrong to ask men for child support if she has if she left or if she has
00:01:38.460 done it by herself and vice versa if she left if he left she shouldn't be like taking full responsibility
00:01:45.040 of the child because it was his mistake too you know it's just like a matter of accountability as
00:01:49.240 you said it's it's that don't you think it's accountability for choosing the right partner
00:01:53.660 exactly oh definitely right so so what i'm saying is if you take away child support people child
00:01:58.240 support people have to face the consequences for their actions immediately so if you're going to
00:02:03.660 pick a reckless husband that's going to leave you for a younger model in 10 years you'll face the 1.00
00:02:07.780 consequence 100 if you're going to leave him and take half like you can't take half anymore so if
00:02:12.220 you want to leave you have to really think about it and to me to me this would put the child's best
00:02:16.980 interests at heart because that's there are more consequences for leaving and and a child is at
00:02:23.620 risk if there's one parent in the home that's why i'm saying that we're thinking selflessly here
00:02:29.300 like selfishly here because we don't think about the child we're thinking about individual interest well
00:02:35.060 i'm thinking about the child because it like from my point of view if you take away child support more
00:02:40.600 families would stay together because there's less of an incentive to leave and you're going to have
00:02:44.400 less women trying to catch a check by getting a baby off of a man i believe if a person is selfish 1.00
00:02:49.640 it's regardless though even if it's a man or a woman when you say when you say women do you think
00:02:54.880 women would steal condoms from drake no i'm serious like like because remember when we see 1.00
00:03:00.980 celebrities that's the extreme but that means in society women are doing this just at a smaller rate 1.00
00:03:06.160 so there are girls trying to catch kids from rich guys all the time i understand because they know
00:03:11.600 about child support yeah i know i know that of course there are people who would use that for
00:03:16.080 their own advantage i'm just saying here if if we actually think about child's interest then there
00:03:22.040 should be child support because they're the only ones affected here so how how does that benefit the
00:03:26.140 child when you don't know if the mother is going to spend it on the child yeah of course that's what i'm
00:03:30.200 saying it's it's it's still selfish because if she's asking for child support and we're not even
00:03:35.620 seeing what's the financial status it's selfish itself it's it's unfair on the guy because we're
00:03:41.540 asking for something extra from him right but it should it should be equal it somehow because if she's
00:03:47.000 earning more than him she should be taking care of the child and vice versa so if it's 50 50 custody 1.00
00:03:51.540 why is she entitled to his money if he makes more yeah fair enough yeah exactly no i was going to say
00:03:57.080 that this is what's going to happen it should have measures in place so that we know the money's
00:04:01.040 being spent on the child yeah yeah exactly there should be mentioned so it's not it's the fault is
00:04:04.860 not on the cancer crisis the fault is maybe we need to keep a check on that but it is because if there
00:04:09.540 were consequences to it you wouldn't do it so if i thought but we know we know the consequences
00:04:13.720 couldn't couldn't the man just spend the money on the child and not get the government involved like
00:04:18.780 why does he need the government a lot of men wouldn't do that because i can only talk i can only talk 0.60
00:04:22.680 from my community a lot of men won't do that yeah i'm talking i'm talking bro my dad did my dad paid
00:04:27.420 for everything but i'm sure growing up in the block you know a bag of man that don't know their dad
00:04:31.360 yeah but that's different but that's different if you don't know your dad in it but i'm saying yeah
00:04:36.000 like there's men that are involved want to see their kids ain't allowed to see their kids but this
00:04:40.080 is why i say it depends you know women are taking money from them and tell them they can't see their 1.00
00:04:45.460 kids but you have to look at what behavior does this incentivize this incentivizes women to pick 1.00
00:04:51.000 bad men and know that even even if they're shitty dads they can still get bailed out
00:04:56.340 yeah because it goes back on accountability exactly yeah but that's what i'm saying i'm saying child
00:05:01.000 support takes away accountability from women because even in this example right where he has to spend
00:05:05.880 it on the kid that's saying to the woman you can pick a shitty partner and you still get bailed out
00:05:10.400 there's a trade there's a trader for every consequence really what you're debating is
00:05:16.960 being a conservative uh or being someone who's in support of a more leftist support of the welfare
00:05:22.660 state is that not what you're debating because there's going to be a trade-off there's going to
00:05:26.320 be a good and bad that happens to whichever route you take bro is whichever you see as more of the
00:05:30.160 problem i'm debating consequences yeah that's what i'm talking about consequences for women that's the 1.00
00:05:34.640 whole part of this conversation so if a woman falls pregnant who bears more the responsibilities of the 1.00
00:05:42.380 man or the woman financially in general who bears more the responsibility of that lack of pregnancy of
00:05:48.440 what comes after the the woman obviously she's the one that's gonna have the pregnancy and so in that 1.00
00:05:54.940 so in that case if they took away something like child support wouldn't that there wouldn't it be a
00:05:59.280 bigger impetus to make a better decision on who you fall pregnant for or you have sex with or bust
00:06:05.120 it open for in general i would say as a man though you need to be careful with your plan yeah so wait
00:06:10.380 i'll go wait wait let me let so i always advocate that men need to have discipline yeah but at the same
00:06:16.040 time a man can just walk up and leave so which means that regardless of whether you want to be a
00:06:20.960 principled man or not you don't have to be you're doing that because it's morally right yeah so but for
00:06:24.960 you as a woman do consequences are stuck if you go through postnatal depression your body changes
00:06:30.300 you're not talking about baby no no you have no consequence if you don't want one you can get an
00:06:34.540 abortion yeah and if you if you get pregnant if you get if you get if you get i hate that argument if you 0.67
00:06:39.380 get pregnant no if you get pregnant it's a choice you you made that you made it because two people 0.84
00:06:43.480 had that choice though i think i think okay okay okay okay okay you have you have you have you have an iud you
00:06:50.560 get an iud what percent chance do you have of getting pregnant and don't don't please don't bring up the
00:06:54.800 exception it's going to irritate me what they're talking about an iud
00:06:58.420 if you have an iud coil a coil no no an iud is i don't want to explain this i don't want to explain
00:07:04.520 this i don't know the coil or the implant yeah that's the coil what they call it here yeah
00:07:09.520 oh the coil okay okay okay if you if you get a coil what percent chance do you have of getting pregnant
00:07:16.240 oh i said yeah it's maybe less than one percent so if you choose to sleep with men that would be poor
00:07:23.480 fathers like that that was a choice okay so you made that first choice and then let's say
00:07:29.240 you do that and you get pregnant yeah you can get an abortion but i'm talking about what about the 1.00
00:07:35.160 man that decided to have sex with a woman without a condom does he not have any responsibility to the
00:07:41.200 child yeah it should be equal so what i'm saying what i'm saying is the women the woman is in charge 1.00
00:07:46.520 of birth yeah so if a woman gets pregnant she gets to decide if she gives birth if i get pregnant with 1.00
00:07:52.800 a guy and i don't want to have the kid and he he's begging me not to get an abortion he has no say 0.95
00:07:58.740 yes yeah so what i'm saying because of that women are in charge of birth yeah but before that 1.00
00:08:05.340 the point that i was making was that choice that they have is not as simple as i'm just going to
00:08:11.060 have an abortion because that's their body okay but it's not that but it wasn't it was there are 0.98
00:08:15.480 mental ramifications for doing that i agree physical ramifications so she may just be like i'm i can't do
00:08:20.760 it but what i'm saying is it's a layer of choices so the girl could get an iud she could also be on 0.95
00:08:26.060 the no listen listen so she could also wait so she could get an iud she could also be on the pill
00:08:32.240 she could also get a plan b she could also require that the men she sleeps with wear a condom 1.00
00:08:38.960 yeah exactly and and and she and if and if that doesn't work out she can get an abortion so there 1.00
00:08:44.440 are five layers that she can pick where the men only have one and the condom can get stolen or it 0.95
00:08:50.720 can break so the women have five layers of protection the men have one therefore there is 1.00
00:08:56.580 more responsibility on the women if you get pregnant that was a choice and it wasn't just one choice it was
00:09:01.460 five choices but also women who have a lot of girls will have sex with a man who they know doesn't 0.96
00:09:05.960 want to be a dad and still keep the child which is fair enough because they know they're going to
00:09:09.740 get money bro but if you don't want to be a dad should you not be like i'm going to wear a condom 0.55
00:09:14.280 but this is what i'm saying but that's why he just said it was fair enough choices that you just
00:09:17.300 listed but that's why i said all of them have really hormonal effects on a woman condom and a condom
00:09:23.080 doesn't so for the man to just put on a condom
00:09:26.420 the coil doesn't you're 100 right but i know a lot of girls that say oh i don't i don't like 0.91
00:09:31.500 when men wear condoms i have a question for the men i have a question for the men what percentage
00:09:35.520 of girls make you wear condoms um i make myself wear them okay okay but if it wasn't if it wasn't 0.98
00:09:42.000 up to you let's say no but a lot of women okay no let's say let's say it was 100 up to the woman okay 1.00
00:09:47.220 what percent of women make you wear condoms i'm gonna be real yeah most of them 1.00
00:09:51.200 like they don't say nothing to me like i just draw for it they don't say nothing to me they're
00:09:55.120 happy to just do whatever so they'll do whatever you say what percent of girls i don't even know 1.00
00:10:00.180 to be honest um i don't know to be honest you know i wouldn't say i don't think
00:10:05.560 this guy's not chopping
00:10:08.300 you're not chopping bruh
00:10:12.280 i think you know the numbers maybe what 20 percent 20 percent of girls if i was on the streets 0.97
00:10:22.280 if you're okay okay hypothetically okay what about you guys 10 10 percent
00:10:28.500 10 percent i say it's about one percent okay okay so so the highest the highest percentage
00:10:40.100 we have right here is 20 and these are these are five guys that's one in five yeah one and
00:10:46.360 that's not a high number so should they not be taking accountability for if they're going
00:10:50.480 to reproduce but the whole the whole point the whole point is that a man can make a choice
00:10:58.200 okay he he could be super careful like drake was and he could still get the condom stolen 0.91
00:11:03.120 i'm saying women have five layers of choices they can make i hear that and the point is that
00:11:08.000 women don't face consequences for bad decisions for example they can steal the condom and that's 1.00
00:11:13.000 not illegal yeah yeah but yeah if you put a hole in the condom you're going to be yeah
00:11:17.540 yeah there's whole reddit threads of girls trying to get pregnant by their boyfriends
00:11:22.680 yeah and so if we go back to the homosexual like how many of that is taking place to you 0.86
00:11:32.140 actually just looking after your penis and putting on a condom if you do not want okay 0.96
00:11:35.860 but what if what if if she if she pokes holes in the condom and what but also there's certain
00:11:41.220 women that said to me there's certain girls that said to me they don't like condoms they're 1.00
00:11:45.300 not like well if i didn't want to have a child with her then i would be like i am not sleeping
00:11:50.900 with you yeah you should be taking that's a woman talking that's a woman talking that man is
00:11:57.180 talking yeah guys guys and if you're gonna be a father hold up guys hold on no but i'm saying so
00:12:03.400 if we have five layers of account how can you not say it's more on the women when i just listed
00:12:08.160 five layers of accountability the man can do one it could break right and then he has no control
00:12:13.980 over anything yeah and then it would go onto the woman right but i'm saying it's how can you not
00:12:17.900 say it's more on the women when i just listed five different ways i didn't i didn't go into
00:12:22.000 more on i said it's both people have a responsibility when you're having sex that after this if a
00:12:28.600 pregnancy occurs and a baby comes along that you are accountable for bringing up that child i would 0.93
00:12:33.200 say i would say it's like 80 90 on the woman because she has five layers of accountability the 1.00
00:12:38.240 dude has one the way and and we and we control we control access to sex men control access to 0.79
00:12:43.640 relationships we we get to pick who who goes inside of us so if you're not picking good man
00:12:48.920 like i don't feel bad for you if you end up a single mom but then that could be the same for
00:12:52.220 the guy though so if you're left of a baby mother that is now taking all of your money should you not
00:12:56.700 have been accountable for not busting i do feel bad for them because i don't think that's fair i think
00:13:03.220 you should face the consequences of your actions that is most most men want to take care of their kids
00:13:09.100 but also the problem with your stance is the fact that even if i want the child i can't keep it if
00:13:14.760 i don't want it i can't opt out of paying for it yeah and so either way you lose because the child
00:13:19.880 was because the equal level of accountability would be if women control access to sex it'd be like if 1.00
00:13:25.080 you get pregnant it's your fault the equal accountability for a man would be if you pick 1.00
00:13:28.420 the wrong woman and she does a madness you have to take accountability that you pick the wrong one and 1.00
00:13:32.660 many people do like oh finesse a nigga and then oh can i say that on here finesse a nigga take the 0.99
00:13:39.180 bag and then run off like women are celebrated for doing that done big facts that's what i'm saying 1.00
00:13:44.640 you think women are celebrating but here's the thing i don't think it's equal because men face 1.00
00:13:51.200 consequences women don't they don't because the consequences would be having to raise their child 1.00
00:13:56.080 on your own but most of the time they're getting financial help and that's what she's saying they're
00:13:59.760 still like my man said about the glass ceiling and then um you know the cushion bro they've always
00:14:04.580 got a cushion that i'm saying the same way they're not out on the street sleeping yeah like they're not
00:14:08.920 there not getting no money they'll get money from the state or they get money for the dad or both
00:14:12.800 you know like that time okay sorry time energy put into raising the child you're going on like
00:14:19.400 raising another human being but you made that choice that's the whole point is that not their
00:14:23.800 responsibility he said there was no ramifications for that but now you're saying that you get all
00:14:28.900 like oh but i have to put on my time and they get custody and they get they also get custody which
00:14:33.380 is another point where they're not held accountable 79 percent of the time people have ramifications
00:14:38.020 for the act so you're saying that the financial strain on a man is more so than a woman bringing 0.98
00:14:45.800 up another human being because it's not just you bringing up the human being you're taking his
00:14:49.480 finances for your own finances yeah and his kid and his kid and his kid because he doesn't get
00:14:55.240 custody the majority of the time there are men who have committed suicide because they're so
00:14:58.620 frustrated with the justice system because it's not most of the time though no 80 of the time the
00:15:03.480 women gets custody no no that is most of the time they still have access to their children it's not 1.00
00:15:07.460 most of the time no i've had this is common i've had multiple men come on this podcast and on the
00:15:13.580 show where they said the mother of my child wouldn't let me see my child for the first year after we
00:15:18.100 broke up because she was being spiteful 100 percent that's that's common that's happened to someone 0.79
00:15:23.820 close to me bro he has to email his baby mom to see his daughter you know email you know i'm saying
00:15:28.380 and women don't face consequences for doing that i think if you're if you're keeping your kid from 1.00
00:15:33.020 the father of his of their children and he's not abusive there's nothing wrong with it like
00:15:36.880 no i agree they're not in danger you should face jail time because you're putting your kid at risk
00:15:40.860 i don't know about jail time but i agree with you there was a woman in america who took her son to
00:15:44.960 japan for two years the dad didn't see him then she comes back to america the father divorce and he
00:15:49.780 still has to pay child support and because he hasn't spent time with the child for two years
00:15:54.020 he now has to pay the full the full world in the time that she was away and and there's a there's a
00:15:58.940 a guy a kid who was 15 he got pregnant by a 35 year old when he turned 18 he had to pay child
00:16:03.280 support wow hey it's mad you know i think even sorry garvey he's a baby mom made him pay to see
00:16:11.700 his kid one time yeah i've heard of his story yeah and he's still not like he's he's all hectic
00:16:16.240 sometimes it's not like i don't have family members that this is a common story this is the point this is
00:16:20.960 common it is but then there's also the other side of there's lots of people who are effectively
00:16:26.700 co-parenting and the money that they're getting in is very small and it isn't enough to actually
00:16:32.100 bring up a child there's that too that's probably because between the two of them they ain't got
00:16:35.940 money but then boy if you're broke now i have kids but i think also when you when you the initial
00:16:39.580 question was about you know if i'm start earning speaking about if i start earning a lot of money
00:16:44.840 should um how much i'm paying be increased because of it so let's say if i'm if i'm a millionaire
00:16:50.380 and then she's on 100 000 or something should i start paying more because of it i don't think
00:16:56.320 that should be the case no i think it should be on the individual parent the father or the mother
00:17:00.700 i am going to contribute to my child because i want the best for them i was but what if i'm still
00:17:05.900 paying for school fees but then i still have to pay for um 50 to the woman if they're married 1.00
00:17:12.260 there are two different things though you're talking about alimony and you're talking about
00:17:15.900 child support they're very different true so i i don't agree with alimony in any way
00:17:20.360 shape or form if you get into a relationship with somebody and you two separate it should
00:17:24.680 be that if the person was earning more than you man or woman you go your separate ways because
00:17:28.780 the relationship is done child support is about rearing the child that's very different you should 0.99
00:17:33.860 have an obligation because you want your child if it's about rearing the child why do the majority 0.68
00:17:38.100 of the fees go to the state for for child support when they go to court they make money off of it
00:17:44.740 i i i don't know that in the uk i'm not sure i don't think that's happened actually i don't
00:17:50.160 know about the uk uk that doesn't happen it means tested are you sure usually it's not a lot of money
00:17:55.120 you have to look up on the ipad but the whole thing's mad everyone's talking about what's best
00:17:59.200 for the child what's best for the child you keep you keep your ass in the house and you stay 0.93
00:18:02.500 together like yeah you know what i'm saying do you know what i mean because the point is yeah if
00:18:05.980 you're talking about what's best for the child yeah if 80 of women are leaving just stay in it 1.00
00:18:09.520 like you hear this argument with a lot of women now these days saying oh yeah like
00:18:13.200 our grandparents yeah they stayed in the house and they weren't happy and that yeah but you had
00:18:17.360 a better upbringing because you had two parents in the house you had two incomes do you know i mean
00:18:22.200 even if gandad was out there doing the mad thing bruv like you still got you still have food on your
00:18:26.220 plate because they realized the grass wasn't always green on the other that's right it's even just
00:18:29.480 sometimes how do you know that well the women were more accountable no it's not it's not the women 0.93
00:18:34.000 faced consequences yeah exactly because they didn't they couldn't fall back on what they can fall back on
00:18:38.540 no that's when you see the divorce rate increase when there's no fault divorce
00:18:41.900 like women women faced consequences back then it's like what we were saying before about shame you 0.54
00:18:47.940 know if you're shaking it's like we were saying before about shame if you're ashamed for certain
00:18:51.760 things you won't do it or you might change your behavior because of it but because if someone's
00:18:57.000 you're somewhat incentivized incentivized to leave you will yeah i i would say that as many of you know
00:19:04.940 i was just banned on tick tock and we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform
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