JustPearlyThings - April 27, 2023


FRANK CASTLED： 46 Year Old Delusional Post Wall Couger


Episode Stats

Length

10 minutes

Words per Minute

208.8927

Word Count

2,111

Sentence Count

239


Summary


Transcript

00:00:00.000 After my divorce, it took me 10 years after my splitting for my partner and having my daughter that we chose to get divorced because we both had different partners and I wanted the best for my daughter.
00:00:14.420 Wait, say that again.
00:00:15.080 Say what?
00:00:15.740 So when I got divorced, I'd already split for my partner and I'd already been living in London for a long time.
00:00:25.120 So you were separated?
00:00:26.220 Yeah, for a long time, for a long time, but I wanted the best for my daughter.
00:00:30.080 I used to be able to go home to my partner's house and I'd stay with them and have Christmas dinner with them and I'd stay in my daughter's room.
00:00:37.900 And I had the, you know, I can't say everyone would have this, but I was quite fortunate that I had that relationship because I wanted the best for my daughter.
00:00:46.180 But do you not think the best for your daughter would have been to stay with her father?
00:00:49.600 No, not if two people are not truly in love with each other and she sees us argue every day.
00:00:54.740 No.
00:00:54.980 Wouldn't a better solution to be, wouldn't a better solution be to just not argue every day?
00:01:01.020 Well, I'll ask you this.
00:01:03.640 When you have children and you get yourself into that position and you truly don't, you know, then you come back and let's have this podcast again.
00:01:11.600 Let's answer that question again because I don't think.
00:01:14.140 Could you just answer the question?
00:01:15.860 Like I understand I don't have kids and you keep bringing this up like you don't have kids.
00:01:19.220 Yeah, okay, I know.
00:01:20.300 So, so my question is, wouldn't a better solution be to just not argue every day for the kids?
00:01:26.100 No, because that's impossible.
00:01:27.640 How is it impossible?
00:01:28.800 It takes two people to argue.
00:01:30.240 How many relationships do people have?
00:01:34.600 Like you can't, what are you going to say?
00:01:36.940 What I did, what was the best for my child when I split up is that me and my partner had the best relationship.
00:01:43.200 I went, let me finish, I went to my back home.
00:01:46.560 So I played the role of the father as the mother and the father and I spent every month with my daughter.
00:01:53.280 I paid every month.
00:01:55.060 I went there every month.
00:01:56.720 I made sure she was okay from every day up until she was 18 years old.
00:02:01.040 I made sure she's had everything and she's still here with me now.
00:02:04.320 And I don't know how many fathers can truly say actually even if they do that.
00:02:08.640 And when you have kids, so you're saying you paid 100% for your son or your daughter?
00:02:15.200 My daughter, no, my daughter.
00:02:17.040 Okay, and he didn't pay at all or did he have her?
00:02:19.920 I did a reversed role.
00:02:22.060 So rather than the father going off and leave, the mother went off and worked.
00:02:27.840 So it was just a reversed role.
00:02:29.900 Okay.
00:02:30.220 I was very fortunate as well because Nedda's dad, my ex, he always, I mean, the first two, three years, obviously because of divorce, we were going through, you know,
00:02:38.560 madness up and down.
00:02:40.020 But after two, three years that I settled down with her and he was saying, actually, I'm not divorced because I want to go around and look for boys.
00:02:49.320 He actually realized I'm a really good mom.
00:02:52.520 And we had a, we, right now, he's my best friend.
00:02:55.360 Yeah.
00:02:55.740 He's my best friend.
00:02:56.660 And Nedda is seeing his dad.
00:02:58.400 My ex-husband was my best friend.
00:02:59.660 Every weekend.
00:03:00.680 It almost seems like it could have been worked out if they were your best friends.
00:03:04.460 No.
00:03:04.900 Sounds the same to me.
00:03:06.200 Um, because like, I just, this just doesn't, like, it just, it just.
00:03:10.360 Okay.
00:03:10.540 I've got children.
00:03:11.700 Two.
00:03:12.820 Right.
00:03:13.160 So when you split up, come back and then, and then.
00:03:15.480 But let me tell you something.
00:03:16.520 Why would you, why would you wish that on him?
00:03:18.400 Because I don't, why would you wish him splitting up?
00:03:20.780 Because like, right now you're happily married and you've got two children.
00:03:24.460 But there was no personal responsibility.
00:03:26.140 Look, I was in a very similar situation.
00:03:28.500 I'm going to say I didn't do everything that I could have done to make sure that we stopped arguing.
00:03:33.440 It got to a point where it could have gotten really bad.
00:03:37.540 And my daughter was six at the time.
00:03:39.500 I didn't find a way.
00:03:41.280 Like, you've got to take some personal responsibility instead of saying it's not possible.
00:03:44.320 Because I don't want people her age to listen to us and be like, oh, well, if it doesn't work out and we argue, let's just have a little bit more.
00:03:51.700 Especially if there's kids involved.
00:03:52.800 You've got to give them another choice.
00:03:54.460 Like, look, I didn't have the strength at the time.
00:03:57.660 My grandma, who's 90 years old, told me just the other day, like two weeks ago, yeah, that me and my wife need to stay together, regardless of anything, just for the sake of the fact that we have a three-year-old daughter.
00:04:08.240 And I appreciate, you know what, you know what, you just hit the nail on the head because I appreciate what your grandma said at 90 years old.
00:04:13.880 Did she have Instagram?
00:04:15.440 Did she have, did she have social media?
00:04:17.140 Get off Instagram.
00:04:18.120 Get off her.
00:04:18.800 No, no, no, no, listen, if my wife is going to be tempted, if my wife is going to be tempted by, you know, social media, by a glassware, by a black mirror, then she doesn't need to be with my wife.
00:04:30.160 No, it's not just Instagram.
00:04:32.100 It's, it's so, it's our social lifestyle to, if you look at the traditional marriage, do you look at a traditional marriage now?
00:04:39.580 Is that more important than working on your relationship?
00:04:42.160 Like, really, is Instagram really that much more important?
00:04:45.780 Is living your social life that much more important?
00:04:48.160 But how social is it if you're just on your phone scrolling?
00:04:50.860 It's not like you're out with other people, you know what I mean?
00:04:52.600 I'm sorry, but 20 years ago, I didn't have a phone to scroll on.
00:04:56.040 Exactly.
00:04:56.760 And you could have worked on different things.
00:04:58.400 No, no, no, no.
00:04:59.600 No, it didn't work that way because we just weren't compatible.
00:05:03.540 No, I think that's going to say something.
00:05:04.700 You're going to think you sat down and had a conversation?
00:05:06.800 There's people, okay, there's people that think they're compatible, they don't say marriage.
00:05:11.260 I'm going to say you did the wrong thing, but there is not going to happen.
00:05:15.080 I think there's going to be millions of people that are going to ask you why you think that they've done wrong.
00:05:20.880 And they're going to come and say to you, good luck to you right now.
00:05:23.820 You're managing your two children.
00:05:25.920 I think that's wrong.
00:05:26.620 Yeah, that is wrong.
00:05:27.760 Instead of telling young people, no, do whatever you can.
00:05:31.120 Do whatever you can.
00:05:32.340 Do not give up.
00:05:33.540 Work on it.
00:05:34.620 Like what his grandma said, like you've got to do whatever it takes, not just to stay married, but to stay in a healthy marriage.
00:05:41.640 Do you know what I mean?
00:05:42.140 Not like staying and arguing.
00:05:43.700 Yeah, I did break up because of my daughter because I didn't want her to see the arguments.
00:05:47.900 But Paul just hit on the nail.
00:05:49.800 Hold on, you're talking about, okay, so let's take, you've got to take.
00:05:52.520 And that's more of a traditional thing to stay together for the sake of the child.
00:05:55.340 I wish that I knew about one minute.
00:05:57.240 Okay, okay, okay, okay, lady, lady, lady, lady, lady, okay, lady, lady, lady, okay, she's got to go.
00:06:06.620 She's got to go.
00:06:07.500 She's got to go.
00:06:08.260 She's got to go.
00:06:08.980 No, I'm not drunk.
00:06:09.640 You're talking about domestic abuse.
00:06:11.300 I didn't say domestic abuse.
00:06:13.120 No, she's got to go.
00:06:15.020 I didn't say that.
00:06:16.640 Jesus, I'm true for the headphones.
00:06:18.160 No, she's got to.
00:06:19.120 Why?
00:06:20.360 If you put your hands on me, I'm holding the please.
00:06:22.780 One moment.
00:06:23.600 Put your hands on me.
00:06:24.620 It's time to go.
00:06:25.720 I'm saying to you.
00:06:27.320 Boy.
00:06:27.960 Thank you.
00:06:28.500 I'm physical.
00:06:28.880 I'm on my phone.
00:06:30.100 I'm on my phone.
00:06:30.860 Lord of mercy.
00:06:31.560 Thank you.
00:06:32.240 Go get your phone.
00:06:35.260 Yo, what's going on?
00:06:36.760 I didn't do anything to you.
00:06:37.840 Yo, what's going on?
00:06:38.840 Get your hands off me.
00:06:40.140 Open up.
00:06:40.480 What's going on?
00:06:41.720 Get your hands off me now.
00:06:43.500 Get your fucking hands off me.
00:06:45.200 No one's done.
00:06:45.760 They're going to watch this podcast.
00:06:47.400 My God, I get nitty, boy.
00:06:49.740 Hey.
00:06:50.200 I'm not hurting.
00:06:52.240 Gin and juice, boy.
00:06:53.360 Get your hands off me now.
00:06:54.460 Get your hands off me now.
00:06:54.900 Kids, stay in school.
00:06:55.740 Get your stuff, Sam.
00:06:56.580 It's okay.
00:06:57.680 Just come on out.
00:06:59.160 Kids, stay in school.
00:07:00.360 Grab her shoes.
00:07:01.340 Stay in school, kids.
00:07:04.080 Don't drink alcohol.
00:07:06.280 Especially gin and juice.
00:07:08.060 From whatever happened between you two, I knew.
00:07:10.220 Don't drink it, baby.
00:07:11.180 I told her.
00:07:11.900 Sorry?
00:07:12.580 I said, I don't know what I said.
00:07:14.140 I said, I can't stand.
00:07:14.440 That girl got lit.
00:07:15.980 Because she spoke to me in a certain tone.
00:07:17.660 I just said to her, calm down.
00:07:18.620 Yeah, you set her straight still.
00:07:20.040 I heard that.
00:07:20.780 And then she tried it.
00:07:21.560 And I went, I'm not upset with you.
00:07:22.520 Then why come with that kiss and that?
00:07:23.360 And then she goes, I know you're the real one.
00:07:25.940 I know you're the real one.
00:07:26.700 Yeah, she's been trying to rattle people's cages from the start, you know?
00:07:29.260 I tell her, I know.
00:07:30.500 I hate that guy.
00:07:31.900 You know?
00:07:32.500 I just can't be bothered anymore.
00:07:34.500 Okay.
00:07:35.300 All right.
00:07:35.640 I think the show starts now, Purley.
00:07:37.720 Let's go.
00:07:38.300 Let's have fun.
00:07:39.180 You can finally get the answers to what people will give up for social media or for their
00:07:43.540 relationship.
00:07:44.280 Yes.
00:07:44.560 I want that question.
00:07:45.420 Patience is a virtue, by the way.
00:07:47.680 Oh, Lord.
00:07:48.520 You've got a dangerous smile.
00:07:49.480 You've got to stop smiling over here.
00:07:50.900 I look good for coming in.
00:07:51.840 All golden.
00:07:52.460 Don't smile over here.
00:07:54.060 It's a bit shiny, but yeah, I like it.
00:07:55.480 I'm hating the camera now.
00:07:56.780 Why?
00:07:57.560 I don't know.
00:07:57.880 I need a hat, man.
00:07:58.760 Look at my forehead.
00:07:59.720 Listening.
00:08:01.580 No, you're doing all right, brother.
00:08:02.940 Yeah, Purley clips.
00:08:03.760 What's getting on?
00:08:04.680 And she's still talking security.
00:08:07.500 Can you please, you and I?
00:08:12.940 This is going to be a YouTube short.
00:08:15.220 I'm certain of that.
00:08:16.660 Backstage.
00:08:17.340 Matthew said it was going to go viral today as well, you know.
00:08:19.580 You guys like and subscribe.
00:08:21.280 Yeah.
00:08:21.820 Have you had this experience?
00:08:23.080 Yeah, I think those are her, yeah.
00:08:24.560 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:08:25.560 Level four on the Patreon.
00:08:28.580 Wow.
00:08:29.240 Guys, she's not from London, by the way.
00:08:30.620 She's from Manchester.
00:08:32.000 This is what happens.
00:08:32.880 The Manchester madness.
00:08:33.860 Yeah, trust.
00:08:36.300 I'm just closing the door, man.
00:08:38.260 Yeah, closing the door.
00:08:39.100 Close your mouth as well.
00:08:39.380 This is mine.
00:08:40.880 Thank you.
00:08:42.500 You just been throwing out random bags in there, yeah?
00:08:45.460 Oh, boy.
00:08:47.040 Oh, it's...
00:08:47.760 Get away from me!
00:08:50.020 Help me!
00:08:51.940 That is a shame, Lord.
00:08:53.440 Shambles.
00:08:54.240 That grape alarm's going to go.
00:08:55.300 Big, big 46, seven.
00:08:55.880 You're nearly a half a decade.
00:08:58.180 She's the oldest one here.
00:08:59.520 Literally.
00:09:00.520 She's the oldest one here, mate.
00:09:01.920 But that's what makes me cringe.
00:09:05.260 I had a feeling she was...
00:09:06.260 Hey, listen, you held your nerve, you know.
00:09:08.740 I'll be real.
00:09:09.260 I was like...
00:09:10.040 I thought you were going to get her out much sooner, but you gave her a few chances.
00:09:13.440 I think the show started now, guys.
00:09:14.260 The show is called Just Pearly Things.
00:09:16.660 Just Pearly.
00:09:17.220 Not Just Samantha Tings.
00:09:18.640 No.
00:09:19.320 Wow.
00:09:20.040 Just to help out with the show, I'm happy to sit in the middle there.
00:09:23.260 Just to, you know.
00:09:24.400 Yeah, yeah, that's fine.
00:09:25.360 Yeah, guys, they're going to make sure that she's not giving her...
00:09:29.760 Like, she's going to give her stuff and just make sure it's not yours.
00:09:32.680 I'll talk to the guys for now.
00:09:34.640 Just to help out with the show, pal.
00:09:36.380 I'm more than happy to sit there.
00:09:38.020 I'm more than happy to sit there.
00:09:39.100 Don't sit next to her, man.
00:09:40.200 Help out for the...
00:09:41.400 I know.
00:09:41.940 I think you'll help the algorithm.
00:09:45.160 I think you'll help the algorithm.
00:09:46.980 I think if I sit there.
00:09:48.520 I think so.
00:09:49.320 That might...
00:09:50.200 As many of you know, I was just banned on TikTok.
00:09:53.260 And we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform.
00:09:58.060 If you want to help, please consider sending a super thanks below.
00:10:02.620 Every donation helps, and it helps make what we do possible.