Good Conversation on How Modern Women DERAINED as Wives
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
203.8357
Summary
In this episode we talk about what it takes to sustain a family on a bare minimum wage and whether or not we should be willing to live on less than we can sustain ourselves on. We also talk about how to deal with a partner who doesn t have the same amount of money as you do.
Transcript
00:00:00.000
Whatever the amount that sustains us to like be happy, but I don't need like big flashy things to be happy
00:00:11.040
I guess. What about what about the box on the corner over here?
00:00:15.200
There's someone there's there's like a couple people in these boxes over there. Oh, you're down there, isn't it?
00:00:20.240
Yeah, literally there's a homeless shelter down the road. They got this box out in the roads, I've seen it.
00:00:24.960
I don't think I could but money doesn't determine like the person for me, if that makes sense.
00:00:39.840
I don't know if things like that. I don't know what people earn.
00:00:42.560
For you, like to have all your necessities met, what are you looking at?
00:00:50.800
Okay, so you know what it takes to sustain you.
00:00:53.200
Yeah. Do you want him to be a provider, basically?
00:00:56.320
Because if you do, you know, you have to know your minimum.
00:01:00.160
Surely, surely, unless you don't mind providing for yourself, then it doesn't matter at all.
00:01:06.560
Yeah, can we not come together? Was that not an option?
00:01:10.080
I thought you just said he's earning less than me.
00:01:12.320
Yeah, so I'm saying at what point do you respect his decision making?
00:01:16.480
So, like, if he said, quit your job tomorrow, I have a plan, I'll listen.
00:01:21.600
But if he's a bum and hasn't worked in two years, why the hell would you do that?
00:01:28.720
There's a minimum point where, and it doesn't have to be exact, you know, just a rough figure,
00:01:38.880
I want to see. I couldn't tell you. I couldn't tell you. I forgot.
00:01:41.600
Okay, what about 30,000 pounds? Would you listen?
00:01:48.240
Just go off, like, what it takes to sustain yourself.
00:01:51.360
And then could you live on a thousand pound a month?
00:01:53.520
If he's bringing in, like, between 3,000 and 4,000.
00:02:05.760
Okay, what about you? Would you date a guy that makes less than you?
00:02:09.200
I would date a guy that, yeah, I would, but he would have to be able to,
00:02:18.800
Um, I would say four grand, because that's, like, enough to, like, pay bills, rent or mortgage,
00:02:49.360
Okay, my minimum, I'll be comfortable with, let's say, 3k a month.
00:02:57.920
Um, I think it's all down to, I don't know if it kind of relates to the question that you're asking.
00:03:24.720
Maybe he's like, I don't know, do police officers, postman, do police officers make a lot here?
00:03:38.560
I think my approach generally is a job is a job.
00:03:40.960
As long as it's making you comfortable, then I will respect that full stop.
00:03:46.320
But I mean, in terms of like respect, I mean, if we're living together and we have a family and I'm
00:03:51.040
meant to like respect all your decision making, if you're not earning at least to cover what it takes.
00:03:57.600
I mean, it's like, okay, if you're dating a guy that makes $250,000 a year,
00:04:11.520
But at some point, like it switches to where you give him more control.
00:04:16.640
Because if a bum tells you to do that, you're not going to do it.
00:04:19.440
If it hasn't worked in two years, he says quit.
00:04:26.640
But like, I'm just asking roughly around what point is it that you respect his decision making?
00:04:36.240
These are things that you wouldn't even ask yourself.
00:04:38.320
I'm actually kind of glad that I'm here and you're doing this.
00:04:41.360
I mean, if you want to get married, you kind of have to do the math.
00:04:44.560
Because it also depends how many kids you want.
00:04:49.280
You need to think about these things while entering a relationship,
00:05:04.160
And the man is just right there looking at the state.
00:05:16.640
And you think about their career ladder as well.
00:05:27.040
That's good because that's how they help men, like,
00:05:36.800
and women are like, oh, but you could do it this way and this way.
00:05:39.920
And like, they flower the seeds that make it grow.
00:05:56.320
behind every great man is an even better woman or something.
00:06:03.280
That's the most bullshit quote I've ever heard.
00:06:06.240
but I think great women should be there instead.
00:06:15.840
You're telling me Elon Musk needed a woman to get to where he's at.
00:06:19.920
Rich men get to where they're going regardless of whether or not they have a girl there or not.
00:06:25.600
It's like, I mean, like the guys that are going somewhere,
00:06:27.760
they're going to go somewhere whether or not you're there.
00:06:29.680
It's just like women just like to take credit for doing nothing.
00:06:35.120
Listen, I think unless you're looking at having kids,
00:06:57.920
We wiggle around a bit more, but it works together.
00:07:47.840
I've never been out of a man that's earned more than me.
00:07:56.720
Why do you think that is different than a lot of women nowadays?
00:08:21.760
He's got more, I must admit, he's got more cash than me.
00:08:27.040
But, no, I can't, I don't have to put my hand in my pocket for nothing.
00:08:31.280
Yeah, I think as long as I don't have to put my hand in my pocket,
00:08:33.280
then, yeah, I'm in a problem with respect to me.
00:08:43.200
So if these people, if these women out here are saying,
00:08:45.280
oh, they need to do this, oh, the man can't afford that,
00:08:55.200
I mean, it's different because, all right, then if I had a mortgage.
00:08:59.760
I can live in, before I was living, I can do it on £1,500.
00:09:12.320
But nowadays, you'll find that a £5 t-shirt is not going to cost you £50 for the kid,
00:09:25.280
Buy some mincemeat and teach your kids how to make a burger.
00:09:37.680
You know, I honestly had the same, I had the same thought, yo.
00:09:41.680
She took me, she took me, how much did you say it was £35?
00:09:50.320
Yeah, she told me she could get a week's worth of groceries on £30.
00:10:21.120
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
00:10:25.200
We just, we just popped in there and we picked about four things with stickers,
00:10:40.480
But even though, this month, to cover a whole month, including toiletries, laundry, alcohol
00:10:54.720
Well, laundry, toiletries, electric toothbrush, everything, £1,000.
00:11:12.160
Do you guys think that Korn, you know what that stands for?
00:11:22.640
Once he does it in front, once he watches it in front of me, I know he's there watching.
00:11:28.160
If it's like, yeah, you want to watch it, it's like, it's like watching another movie.
00:11:32.240
But if it's hidden, I think it's cheating because for you to hide it, sight must be wrong.
00:11:48.640
I just feel like he wouldn't want to do it in front of you.
00:11:58.880
I mean, like, if he's there watching, you know, he's never watching a TV and he's in one room and he's
00:12:04.400
watching it and he coming, oh, you're watching that rubbish again.
00:12:12.400
Would anyone here be mad if their husband watched, or boyfriend watched Korn?
00:12:23.120
I mean, if it's like regular, you know, normal, yeah.
00:12:37.680
But then, but then, again, to me, that's a concern for me because what variety?
00:12:46.880
I'm not saying all men cheat, but men naturally want variety.
00:12:49.280
You're telling me, okay, you could take the best man in the world.
00:12:52.400
If he had a bus full of models waiting for him every day when he got home every single day,
00:12:57.680
begging to sleep with him, most of you guys are gonna fail.
00:13:09.120
If you cannot exercise self-control, it's a concern.
00:13:13.760
If I am to exercise self-control and you don't give yourself that same parameter,
00:13:22.160
I'm not saying I'll be angry, but this is something to iron out.
00:13:26.080
It's not something that, oh, this is how you are.
00:13:32.720
And as far as I'm concerned on the foundational, like morals, principles, standards,
00:13:38.880
And so if we're no longer matching, it's an even bigger concern.
00:13:42.400
And now we're talking about the longevity of our relationship.
00:13:48.000
No, no, but it's because I know what I would like.
00:13:50.400
And when you say what you would like, what is that?
00:13:54.240
And if you're telling me these are the reasons why you watch it,
00:14:05.120
And it doesn't mean he's doing it every day or even every week.
00:14:13.120
But that's like, but that's like a female point of view.
00:14:18.000
They don't think that much into it, I don't think.
00:14:20.320
But then that's not what I, then that's, that's fine.
00:14:26.880
Because in my experience, I have, well, I haven't not experienced that.
00:14:32.240
Because it's not like I've been with a man that could explain his side of it.
00:14:41.920
I'm not going to like, say change or da-da-da-da-da.
00:14:49.200
you haven't created a space where they could even come to tell you that they watch it.
00:14:55.840
No, it's, if it, and this is what I'm saying, I wouldn't get angry.
00:15:01.280
So if you came to me or I caught you, I'm not going to be like, oh, no, no, no.
00:15:05.520
It's like, okay, let's sit down and talk about it.
00:15:07.360
Like, why, why, why, why do you feel like you like this or whatever?
00:15:10.880
And like, if, if you're like, this is how I am and I can't really explain it or whatever.
00:15:17.040
I have the right to say, but I don't like this.
00:15:27.280
You're talking about if like now, if you found him or if he suddenly decided.
00:15:40.000
This is, you wouldn't be with somebody that does it anyway.
00:15:43.360
And then if he happens to be doing it, there's a problem.
00:15:47.280
I mean, if I, if I know that my man does it and I'm with him,
00:15:50.160
I knew that he'd done it before I got with him.
00:15:52.160
But if I'm with a man and then suddenly he starts doing it, well, what's going on?
00:15:55.120
Why all of a sudden you started, you never showed it.
00:15:58.960
Because trying to change an individual is futile to me.
00:16:06.960
Like I don't have the energy to try and make you see or even see it from my point of view.
00:16:14.640
But I don't have to be, I don't have to take it.
00:16:26.560
But before me making that choice, I want to sit down and understand.
00:16:30.720
If I had a man and he wasn't open about it in the first place and I found him doing it,
00:16:37.680
But if I knew, if he said to me in the beginning, like when I thought,
00:16:42.080
I'd be like, okay, then when I know, it's time to me whether I stay with you or not.
00:16:49.680
I've been with you for X amount of years and you're saying, I've always watched it.
00:17:03.680
But if it's happening, we're going to talk about it.
00:17:08.880
I just think a lot of times, like from the men's point of view, it's like,
00:17:12.800
we want them to be exclusive to us, which is like compromising on their mating strategy,
00:17:19.840
But on the same time, like when they try to watch, and I'm not saying you specific,
00:17:25.040
But like when you tell them that they can't even watch corn and that's cheating too,
00:17:31.280
So I just tell them straight, whatever they're doing on there, I will try it with you.
00:17:41.680
Like, you want to pick up some tits, but then I'm going to watch it.
00:17:45.040
What's another freaky stuff, you know what I mean?
00:17:56.000
I've had a partner show me something and be like, let's try this.
00:18:08.000
I was down, but it wasn't a case where I didn't know that he wasn't watching it,
00:18:12.960
because I knew he watched it or he'd sometimes be like, oh, look at this.
00:18:18.080
I don't know how I'd feel if my partner showed me.
00:18:20.560
If he sent you a band and said, let's try this tonight.
00:18:24.000
I feel like I would be like, I'm not saying I would be against it, but I don't know.
00:18:28.720
I think there's, I don't know, obviously everyone's different, but to me,
00:18:33.520
You could be watching it and doing all this, but if you're putting more attention on that
00:18:43.040
Mine is, tell me the first place, because if I find out later on, we're down.
00:18:50.640
Introduce me to you and I'll choose if I want to be with you or not.
00:18:57.680
As long as you're transparent and there's no issue.
00:19:06.080
Yeah, it's definitely important to ask what to ask.
00:19:12.240
Yeah, because there's different levels and you find that women might accept some levels,
00:19:18.160
Yeah, because if you're watching certain stuff, I'm just like, oh.
00:19:23.840
Yeah, that's like a sicko who should be in my house.
00:19:28.320
I feel like that's a topic of conversation that you talk about, no?
00:19:36.880
I've never had that conversation with a man in my life.
00:19:47.280
You know what they like and what they don't like.
00:19:48.720
Nah, I'm up for anything because you're my man, innit?
00:19:58.320
I'm going to take a second to read Super Chats.
00:20:02.480
Guys, like the video on your way and subscribe to the channel.
00:20:06.640
Make sure you're subscribed to both of our Clips channels,
00:20:21.120
We have pearly animations now, which is like...
00:20:58.880
What is the definition of liberty and does it matter?
00:21:08.960
Started getting a lot of offers, so I broke things off,
00:21:20.720
I mean, if they're already having issues before they're married,
00:21:38.240
but I wouldn't mind traveling to the UK to meet the woman in olive green.
00:21:51.520
Men are required to be gentle with women because they're not the same.
00:22:03.760
I know I announced that I was going to do our one million party next month.
00:22:24.560
Yeah, I didn't realize how much like it takes to throw an event together and like the tickets and everything.
00:22:36.480
I'm trying to think of my next question, actually.
00:22:44.080
what kind of wife do they think they're going to be?
00:22:59.120
but just someone who like keeps their home peaceful, no outside dramas,
00:23:10.320
Like I want, like I know in the UK you get like that,
00:23:13.920
I think it's like 10 to 12 months or something for your maternity leave.
00:23:17.920
I want at least the two, the first two and a half years just with my kids at home.
00:23:25.840
And just, I know it sounds so like cliche and like the cooking, the cleaning,
00:23:31.040
but I just want it to be a place where my man can feel like he can be a man.
00:23:34.640
And like he's in his role and his masculine and I can be in my feminine and just be a mother and a wife.
00:23:50.320
But I need a man who wants to be a husband and wants to do that role.
00:23:55.280
I can't have a man who wants me to also be like...
00:23:58.400
So what would your like day-to-day like life look like if you were in that role?
00:24:03.760
Wait, from the time you wake up in the morning with the two kids at six o'clock in the morning?
00:24:10.560
Well, I have my, my own daily structures and then that can just put me in the mind frame of
00:24:16.560
And with kids, you know, it's never going to, no day is going to look the same.
00:24:28.240
Like, all right, then you wake up at five o'clock in the morning, one baby's screaming, right?
00:24:33.440
So you, you have a guy across from you who makes $250,000 a year.
00:24:36.800
He says, you know, you could be my, you could be my housewife.
00:24:41.520
Cook, clean, make sure the kids are looked after.
00:24:45.280
And when I say, and also make, keep myself together.
00:24:51.440
So I wake up, I VJ, like get stuff out of my journal, meditate, do my like seven self-care pillars,
00:25:02.560
If that means I've got to wake up at four because the kid wants to scream at five,
00:25:07.680
One, two kids, one might be on school, one might be nursery or two under two.
00:25:22.960
I've never actually thought about like what that would look like, but I would be happy to.
00:25:29.280
I've never thought about what that would look like.
00:25:30.720
I've always just kind of had in my head that my kids would be at home until about three, four.
00:25:35.680
I personally don't want my kids going to nursery at two.
00:25:38.080
I know that's like this kind of extended age, but I want to be at home with my kids
00:25:44.000
So about three, four, they can like start going to other people.
00:25:49.840
My kids can't be looked after by other people until they can put a sentence together.
00:25:55.440
Like that's it until they can understand like their body in terms of like for that age,
00:26:05.040
And I need a man who gets that, who says, do you know what?
00:26:09.120
I don't want a man to think, oh, you doing that means you're going to live off of me.
00:26:13.600
No, I'm doing this because of the nurturing and the foundation I want for my kids.
00:26:19.680
If the child is really ill and you go to bed at midnight,
00:26:22.320
are you still going to get about four o'clock in the morning to go through your whole?
00:26:26.800
I'm just thinking to myself, you would love to have that couple of hours in the morning
00:26:34.400
If they're sick, if they're sick, sorry, sorry.
00:26:37.440
because you're going to say you're going to get up at four o'clock in the morning.
00:26:40.720
Because, um, I heard you're doing a lot of talking,
00:26:44.800
It's been a lot of, I want to hear, I want to, I want to hear, right?
00:26:49.600
Like you said, you get up at four o'clock in the morning,
00:27:06.560
but I know that I'm prepared to do whatever it takes to be the mother that I know that I want to be.
00:27:22.000
So you, I'm saying, so then he would have to teach you, you're prepared to do it,
00:27:30.720
I know it takes a lot emotionally, mentally, physically.
00:27:35.360
And I'm ready to, and I'm prepared to go through it.
00:27:37.280
And I, I want to go through it because I want to be a mother.
00:28:00.000
I think my, my siblings, they, they range in a, a massive range.
00:28:11.920
But in the morning they drop off to the evening bedtime.
00:28:21.040
Like, I don't know how long the day is going to be, but I know it's going to be long.
00:28:24.160
Because, yeah, because, because the thing is, the thing is.
00:28:28.480
Because, and then it's like, you know, finding time to like have your shower and all that.
00:28:32.000
And you might not even have time to, to do all of that stuff.
00:28:34.720
And then to, you know, have dinner ready for when he gets home.
00:28:42.960
Like, I'm not even going to pretend like I'm deluded on that.
00:28:53.040
Because I can't wait till we get down to the end.
00:29:04.640
Like, if you had to make a menu of your food, how many meals?
00:29:29.840
Well, I know when you said I'm about, um, when it gets to the end, but I also know that I
00:29:34.080
won't be in that position unless I know that he can provide a certain lifestyle.
00:29:43.120
If you think you're going to save up to have children, forget about it.
00:29:46.080
I'm not, but I can, I can, I can categorically tell you, if, if life happens and we might
00:29:53.280
end up in a situation, but I can categorically tell you I'm not entering a situation like
00:30:00.000
There's no baby leaving my body without a ring on my finger.
00:30:09.920
There's nothing wrong with having kids without marriage.
00:30:11.840
I mean, I was born outside of marriage, but it's not happening for me.
00:30:26.240
Before she said that, I was thinking you don't stand a chance.
00:30:30.800
Now, at least she's got a, there's a percentage there.
00:30:33.440
Not very high, but there's sort of a percentage.
00:30:37.680
No, for the happy whatever and the regular out there and the way, the way she sounded,
00:30:53.360
I'm going to, I'm going to wake up for an hour and meditate before my kids.
00:31:02.320
I mean like everything that I do, like right now,
00:31:04.320
currently everything that I do takes about 45 minutes in the morning.
00:31:06.960
That's from waking up to having my shower, meditate, VJ, breakfast, but.
00:31:17.280
It's just where you just like get like, but it's not like happy journey.
00:31:20.480
It's just where you get any like horrible thoughts out, any emotions.
00:31:39.120
But I just, I don't need to take negative emotions from one day into the next day.
00:31:42.960
And sometimes a lot of times when you think something's happened or someone's done you something,
00:31:48.400
It's just you're in your feelings and you get it out.
00:31:51.520
And it's also instead of offloading onto another friend,
00:31:56.000
I'm like, oh my God, can you believe this happened?
00:32:18.720
but if he told me it looks like X, Y, Z, then it's X, Y, Z.
00:32:27.520
I feel like I was born quite maternal, quite wifely.
00:32:32.720
Sometimes it's a con because you carry wifely duties before they're needed.
00:32:38.400
When I am a wife, I have kind of similar views.
00:32:43.280
I want to raise my children to a certain age and then they can get into education or whatever.
00:32:49.600
If during that time my man is the provider, then I'll have to step up and do most homely things.
00:32:55.600
But then when I do continue to go back to work or start providing also, whether it's for everyone or just,
00:33:01.680
you know, partly, I'd want him to step in slightly more and maybe one night help with the cooking or unload the dishwasher.
00:33:16.160
So whatever he needs, if he needs help within his work, you know, I'll always try.
00:33:19.920
I won't, I won't ever say no or decline anything.
00:33:28.240
Like what, what exactly you would do every day, like as a wife.
00:33:33.040
And you said like you did this stuff at like wifey things at girlfriend.
00:33:37.680
I cook, I clean, you know, I'd, I'd wake up, make the bed.
00:33:40.960
If, do you think, do you think a man paying for a date is doing husband things at boyfriend prices?
00:33:48.880
Yeah, a man paying for a date, is that doing husband things at boyfriend prices?
00:33:52.240
Cause a lot of times I think like we say we cooked, we cleaned and that's, that's.
00:33:56.160
As many of you know, I was just banned on TikTok and we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform.
00:34:04.240
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00:34:08.480
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