JustPearlyThings - May 24, 2023


He Tried To CALL OUT Pearl


Episode Stats

Length

13 minutes

Words per Minute

202.01413

Word Count

2,688

Sentence Count

9

Misogynist Sentences

15

Hate Speech Sentences

14


Summary

In this episode, we discuss cheating and purity. Cheating is one of the most common issues we see in the dating world, but what does it really mean and how should it be dealt with? What does it have to do with a relationship? And what is the best way to deal with cheating?


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Question do you think everyone could jump on only fans and make millions if it's that easy if it's the easy way
00:00:05.000 No, no, I'm not saying that every single person can make a ton of money
00:00:08.240 I'm saying it's easier than not doing it because if there was an easier for way
00:00:12.720 If there was an easier way for you to make millions you would have did it
00:00:15.960 But when you say easy don't you think it's difficult having to deal with like people's perceptions of you family judgment social
00:00:21.960 I mean, I think isn't that difficult. That's the trade-off for easy money
00:00:25.860 But it's not easy if it comes with all those complications, is it?
00:00:28.780 It's like selling drugs easy
00:00:30.780 I'm saying it's easier than the other option because otherwise you wouldn't have did it
00:00:34.640 No problem. We can agree to disagree on this point. We don't have to be in union and everything we say
00:00:38.260 You have your point. I have mine. I disagree on that front. That's it simple
00:00:44.320 Who else has been cheated on?
00:00:48.080 Wait, what we disagree on?
00:00:50.080 I don't even know anything.
00:00:51.580 No, actually I thought we agreed to be honest.
00:00:54.880 Who else has been cheated on?
00:00:56.880 I got cheated on when I was little man
00:00:58.880 I got cheated on when I was little man
00:01:00.880 For me personally, when it first happened
00:01:04.880 Can you hear me?
00:01:06.360 Can you hear me?
00:01:07.360 Oh, okay
00:01:08.360 When it first happened
00:01:10.360 I was in my teens
00:01:13.360 It kind of hurt
00:01:15.360 But then I kind of got over it
00:01:19.360 And now I didn't get under another man
00:01:21.360 Before people come for me
00:01:22.360 And be like, yeah, get under another man
00:01:23.360 No, it did hurt
00:01:25.360 I kind of just stayed off the market for a bit
00:01:28.360 Kind of healed from what I went through
00:01:32.360 Because when you're talking about cheating
00:01:35.360 Cheating is in different ways
00:01:37.360 And different forms
00:01:38.360 And like I said
00:01:40.360 When you're in a relationship with somebody
00:01:42.360 And that person is selling you a dream
00:01:46.360 And they're telling you
00:01:48.360 Oh, you're this, you're that
00:01:50.360 And da da da da da da da
00:01:51.360 But then it turns out
00:01:52.360 No, really
00:01:53.360 I wasn't what you wanted
00:01:54.360 I wasn't what you claimed that I was
00:01:57.360 Just go
00:01:59.360 It's better you tell me
00:02:00.360 Look, babe
00:02:01.360 I love you, yeah
00:02:02.360 But I'm going to have to love you from a distance
00:02:04.360 Cool
00:02:05.360 I'm fine with that
00:02:07.360 Do you?
00:02:08.360 But when you go out of your way
00:02:10.360 To specifically hurt that individual
00:02:13.360 Knowing full well that I'm not doing that to you
00:02:16.360 Like I'm not getting numbers on the sly
00:02:20.360 You know, my phone's open
00:02:22.360 Go through my phone
00:02:23.360 I have nothing to hide
00:02:24.360 Because I'm not doing anything inappropriate
00:02:26.360 And the fact that most people that I've actually sat down and asked
00:02:30.360 I'm like, well, why would you like, why cheat?
00:02:33.360 Well, it's because
00:02:35.360 But you understand that men and women are different
00:02:37.360 I get that
00:02:38.360 No, no, no
00:02:39.360 I totally get that
00:02:40.360 I understand
00:02:41.360 Well, two different entities
00:02:42.360 Because right now you're saying like, why would you do that?
00:02:44.360 You're trying to hurt me
00:02:45.360 But they're not trying to hurt you
00:02:46.360 No, well
00:02:47.360 It's just how they're wired
00:02:48.360 No, no, no
00:02:49.360 I don't think it's how they're wired
00:02:50.360 No, no, no, no
00:02:51.360 Essentially they
00:02:52.360 Hold on
00:02:53.360 I disagree
00:02:54.360 The majority of the guys here are going to tell you it's how they're
00:02:56.360 No, no
00:02:57.360 Like if you ask the majority of that
00:02:58.360 No, I understand that
00:03:00.360 But
00:03:01.360 When you actually sit down and have a conversation with somebody that knows themselves
00:03:06.360 What they're about
00:03:07.360 Mentally
00:03:08.360 Strong
00:03:09.360 They've come out of their little boy moments
00:03:12.360 Because a lot of men still have it
00:03:14.360 Whether you're 50, 40, 30
00:03:16.360 I've seen it
00:03:17.360 I've got stories for days
00:03:19.360 But like I said, if that's what you want to do, do that
00:03:24.360 But why get into a relationship?
00:03:25.360 And this is where I don't agree with it
00:03:27.360 Whether it's a male or a female
00:03:29.360 Yeah
00:03:30.360 If you know you cannot be loyal to one individual
00:03:34.360 Don't be in a relationship
00:03:35.360 Do not be in a relationship
00:03:36.360 You can be single and you could be free to mingle all day long
00:03:40.360 Living life
00:03:41.360 Nobody can't come and say nothing to you
00:03:43.360 Because you're not her
00:03:45.360 What if you want that woman?
00:03:46.360 That's the woman you want
00:03:48.360 Yeah, but you still just like to have the variety of spices
00:03:51.360 You know, honestly
00:03:52.360 I think women, we need to get off our high horse
00:03:55.360 We're supposed to be virgins on our wedding day
00:03:58.360 What percent of women are virgins on our wedding day?
00:04:00.360 No, because I'm serious
00:04:02.360 You're supposed to bring purity and youth to a marriage
00:04:05.360 That's the exchange
00:04:06.360 They're supposed to give you resources and monogamy
00:04:09.360 Because they're not doing their mating strategy basically
00:04:12.360 Which is screw as many people as possible
00:04:14.360 We could keep, you know, being like part of the harem, right?
00:04:17.360 Like with a high value guy
00:04:18.360 But we say no, we're not going to do that
00:04:19.360 We're going to give you purity and youth
00:04:21.360 We're not holding up our end of the bargain today
00:04:23.360 I want to give the other side of it
00:04:25.360 Is that okay?
00:04:26.360 No, go for it
00:04:27.360 Because I'm not proud of this
00:04:30.360 But like, you know
00:04:31.360 I want to be honest here
00:04:33.360 And like, you know, my man's given me a bit of honesty
00:04:35.360 I love this guy
00:04:39.360 So this is the thing
00:04:40.360 It's like, in my previous experience
00:04:42.360 When I was at my worst
00:04:44.360 In terms of like, using women and stuff like that
00:04:48.360 When, you know, I was in my high value man
00:04:51.360 And I'll do what I want phase, as they say
00:04:53.360 Basically, if a girl I'd asked to come and meet me that night
00:04:57.360 Said she was busy
00:04:58.360 I'd be like, cool
00:04:59.360 One of the other ten will say yes then
00:05:02.360 And like, that was none of her knowledge or whatever
00:05:04.360 At the time
00:05:05.360 But she just wasn't there
00:05:06.360 And my selfishness and my childishness was just like
00:05:10.360 Cool, I'll just go through the list
00:05:11.360 The first one to say yes
00:05:12.360 It's your lucky day
00:05:13.360 Let's go
00:05:14.360 And in my head, I'm like
00:05:16.360 If you're not dedicated enough to me to be here
00:05:19.360 Then you can't have any complaints
00:05:21.360 That's the way I was feeling at the time
00:05:22.360 And I think a lot of men go through that
00:05:24.360 When you're not living together
00:05:25.360 And heavy serious
00:05:26.360 But it's dating
00:05:28.360 And I was just like
00:05:29.360 Okay, the first one to say yes
00:05:31.360 That's it then
00:05:32.360 So question for you quickly
00:05:33.360 Have you been on the receiving end of being cheated?
00:05:37.360 Yeah
00:05:38.360 Yeah, it was awkward that one
00:05:39.360 See?
00:05:40.360 There you go
00:05:41.360 How did you find out?
00:05:42.360 So karma is real
00:05:43.360 I was 19
00:05:44.360 I was 19
00:05:45.360 And I remember looking through her text message saying another guy who was like
00:05:49.360 Like I knew through a friend as well
00:05:52.360 And a funny old thing is like
00:05:55.360 We bumped into each other in a bar about a year later
00:05:58.360 Because he found out the hard way whose girlfriend
00:06:02.360 Or whose girlfriend I thought it was anyway
00:06:06.360 And he basically came up to me and went
00:06:08.360 By the way, if I'd known it was you
00:06:09.360 I would never have fucking gone near her
00:06:11.360 But we ended up having a pint and laughing about it
00:06:13.360 Because we just knew what she was
00:06:15.360 And that was the thing
00:06:17.360 I said to him like
00:06:18.360 Imagine she could see us laughing about like
00:06:20.360 What a skank she is
00:06:21.360 What was that pain like when you went through the phone?
00:06:24.360 Oh, when I was 19
00:06:25.360 It hit me right
00:06:26.360 Was you being faithful at the time?
00:06:28.360 Was you faithful at that time?
00:06:30.360 I was getting the butt home, you know what I mean?
00:06:31.360 I was struggling at the time
00:06:32.360 But was you faithful at that time?
00:06:34.360 I was more than faithful
00:06:35.360 I was like
00:06:36.360 You know when you're like
00:06:37.360 You're like
00:06:38.360 She's the best thing I've ever thought
00:06:39.360 You know what I mean?
00:06:40.360 Did that change you?
00:06:42.360 Yeah, it's traumatised
00:06:43.360 She was the prettiest girl
00:06:44.360 And I was like
00:06:45.360 And fuck women!
00:06:46.360 I told you that
00:06:47.360 But obviously like
00:06:48.360 You get over it
00:06:49.360 But that was 19 for me
00:06:50.360 Did it put you in a space for a moment
00:06:53.360 Where you felt a certain type of way?
00:06:57.360 How long?
00:06:58.360 Or did you?
00:06:59.360 Are you just?
00:07:00.360 No, the thing that got me to wake up
00:07:01.360 And not cheat ever again
00:07:03.360 Was seeing the pain it caused
00:07:05.360 Okay
00:07:06.360 When I did do that
00:07:07.360 And it made me go
00:07:08.360 Yeah, I can't do this again to someone
00:07:11.360 Like it really
00:07:12.360 Exactly what he said
00:07:13.360 That was
00:07:14.360 It was similar to him
00:07:15.360 It was that awakening of like
00:07:16.360 I've really fucking hurt someone
00:07:17.360 Yeah
00:07:18.360 And I never want to do that again
00:07:19.360 And like
00:07:20.360 I never have
00:07:21.360 Thank God
00:07:22.360 But in that moment
00:07:24.360 Yeah, I was very selfish
00:07:26.360 Okay
00:07:27.360 Okay
00:07:29.360 Can we ask you a question?
00:07:30.360 Oh no
00:07:31.360 Is that off table?
00:07:32.360 Have you ever been cheated on?
00:07:33.360 Just like Chrissy?
00:07:34.360 Mm-hmm
00:07:35.360 You have, yeah?
00:07:36.360 Mm-hmm
00:07:37.360 Okay
00:07:38.360 Have you ever cheated?
00:07:39.360 No
00:07:40.360 Good
00:07:41.360 Would you stay in a married relationship
00:07:42.360 With your husband
00:07:43.360 Happily being cheated on?
00:07:45.360 Would I be happily cheated on?
00:07:47.360 People always ask me this
00:07:49.360 No, I would not be happily cheated on
00:07:51.360 But I think again
00:07:52.360 That the kids are more important than you
00:07:53.360 Once you have kids
00:07:54.360 It's not about you
00:07:55.360 But you would accept it?
00:07:56.360 Yeah, if I have kids
00:07:57.360 You know
00:07:58.360 And you try to work
00:07:59.360 But how many times
00:08:00.360 Is like the limit
00:08:01.360 For them to like go
00:08:02.360 If you have kids
00:08:03.360 I'm gonna try to work it out
00:08:04.360 Thanks
00:08:05.360 Because I just genuinely think
00:08:07.360 That if you put your feelings
00:08:08.360 Above the kid
00:08:09.360 Like I just think you're selfish
00:08:10.360 I think it's not about you
00:08:11.360 I'm gonna talk on my own experience
00:08:12.360 Right now
00:08:13.360 I have a daughter
00:08:14.360 Right?
00:08:15.360 I love her to a bit
00:08:16.360 And I was in a relationship
00:08:18.360 Like a long relationship
00:08:19.360 And I've been cheated on
00:08:21.360 Right?
00:08:22.360 I tried everything
00:08:23.360 It didn't work out
00:08:24.360 I tried it
00:08:25.360 Obviously
00:08:26.360 What would he say though?
00:08:27.360 Well
00:08:28.360 Because you know
00:08:29.360 There's two sides to every story
00:08:30.360 I know
00:08:31.360 I know
00:08:32.360 Let's get them on the show
00:08:33.360 That's true
00:08:34.360 But
00:08:35.360 No, no, no
00:08:36.360 You see?
00:08:37.360 Matthew do some digging
00:08:38.360 Matthew do some digging
00:08:39.360 I'm saying
00:08:40.360 If we asked him
00:08:41.360 Is he gonna say
00:08:42.360 She tried everything?
00:08:43.360 I think he will
00:08:44.360 Because he knows deep down
00:08:46.360 And he told me that too
00:08:48.360 But
00:08:49.360 My story is similar to yours
00:08:51.360 Hold on
00:08:52.360 But what was
00:08:53.360 What was the limit for you?
00:08:55.360 What made you realise
00:08:56.360 That you had to walk away?
00:08:59.360 Er
00:09:00.360 I don't know if I'm allowed to say that or not
00:09:02.360 But abuse
00:09:03.360 Oh
00:09:04.360 That was my limit
00:09:05.360 Physical abuse
00:09:06.360 Okay
00:09:07.360 When it comes to the cheating thing though
00:09:09.360 Yeah?
00:09:10.360 What is it that actually
00:09:11.360 You're hurt by?
00:09:13.360 Are you hurt?
00:09:14.360 Are you hurt by the physical?
00:09:15.360 No, but I mean
00:09:16.360 The same thing you'd be hurt by
00:09:17.360 No, it's
00:09:18.360 I'll tell you
00:09:19.360 Women and men cheating
00:09:20.360 Is two different things
00:09:21.360 We've established that
00:09:22.360 Those believe it or not
00:09:23.360 I know we like to pretend that
00:09:24.360 A woman is from Venus
00:09:25.360 And men are from Mars
00:09:26.360 But we're not that different
00:09:27.360 We go toilet
00:09:28.360 We poo
00:09:29.360 We cry
00:09:30.360 But that's a good book
00:09:31.360 We're the same
00:09:32.360 But men don't forget it
00:09:33.360 I've got it
00:09:34.360 I've got it
00:09:35.360 It's a good book right?
00:09:36.360 It's a very good book
00:09:37.360 It will make you understand the opposite gender
00:09:38.360 The reasons why we cheat are different
00:09:40.360 Between men and women
00:09:41.360 For men it's a physical thing
00:09:43.360 A lot of the time
00:09:44.360 That's why
00:09:45.360 He wants to experience more probably
00:09:47.360 Yeah
00:09:48.360 Like I say
00:09:49.360 Variety is the spice of life
00:09:50.360 Yeah but do that
00:09:51.360 Out of a relationship
00:09:52.360 However, what I will say is
00:09:53.360 Are you
00:09:54.360 Is it just sort of like a one-off thing
00:09:55.360 Or
00:09:56.360 Is it an affair?
00:09:57.360 Yeah
00:09:58.360 Those are the two
00:09:59.360 You know what I mean?
00:10:00.360 Okay
00:10:01.360 See when you have an affair
00:10:02.360 That's when it's like
00:10:03.360 That's different right?
00:10:04.360 You know what I mean?
00:10:05.360 It's true
00:10:06.360 But some people would still class an affair
00:10:08.360 And cheat in as two of the same things
00:10:09.360 Nah they're not
00:10:10.360 They're definitely
00:10:11.360 Definitely not
00:10:12.360 I said some
00:10:13.360 Don't come for me
00:10:14.360 Don't shoot the messenger
00:10:15.360 I'm just saying for some
00:10:17.360 Cheating
00:10:19.360 It hurts the person
00:10:21.360 Because like I said
00:10:22.360 I don't know what
00:10:23.360 You're telling that individual
00:10:25.360 When you're laying
00:10:26.360 And you're doing your pillow talk
00:10:27.360 Yeah?
00:10:28.360 That's where a lot of people go wrong
00:10:30.360 And this is what I'm saying
00:10:31.360 If you know that you're not
00:10:33.360 You're not ready to give up
00:10:35.360 Your bachelor life
00:10:36.360 Yeah?
00:10:37.360 And you're not ready to like
00:10:38.360 Submerge that ego
00:10:39.360 And say you know what?
00:10:40.360 Cool
00:10:41.360 I've had my time running the streets
00:10:43.360 Let me just kind of fix up
00:10:44.360 And do what I've got to do
00:10:45.360 What I've got to do
00:10:46.360 When you're having like
00:10:48.360 You know like I said
00:10:49.360 When you're at home
00:10:50.360 And you're alone with that individual
00:10:52.360 Whether it's you talking to a woman
00:10:54.360 Or your woman talking to a man
00:10:56.360 It's you not say certain things
00:10:59.360 So it will hurt a woman
00:11:01.360 As well as it will hurt a man
00:11:03.360 Especially if they believe
00:11:05.360 And this is where I come back to my point again
00:11:08.360 You are being sold a dream
00:11:11.360 Okay
00:11:12.360 And you know full well
00:11:13.360 If you cannot commit to what you're telling me
00:11:15.360 Why tell me that?
00:11:17.360 Because you're comfortable
00:11:18.360 Because we're in a situation where
00:11:21.360 You're comfortable
00:11:22.360 I know you
00:11:23.360 You know me
00:11:24.360 Because it works
00:11:25.360 Yeah it works
00:11:26.360 It works
00:11:27.360 That's why women will
00:11:28.360 You guys will say
00:11:29.360 Oh be honest to me
00:11:30.360 But you pick the guys that sell you a dream
00:11:32.360 So you don't pick the ones that are honest
00:11:33.360 No, no, no
00:11:34.360 But you can still be honest
00:11:37.360 But you have to understand
00:11:39.360 You can't say
00:11:40.360 I'm not going to sit here and say
00:11:41.360 Oh, I'm picking people
00:11:42.360 That's selling me a dream
00:11:43.360 No
00:11:44.360 Can I add something?
00:11:46.360 I'm being me
00:11:47.360 So if I'm coming to the table
00:11:48.360 And I'm saying to you
00:11:49.360 Look
00:11:50.360 I really like you
00:11:51.360 We've gone out for a few dates
00:11:53.360 You know
00:11:54.360 We've come to a point now
00:11:56.360 Where we're like
00:11:57.360 Okay
00:11:58.360 Let's come together
00:11:59.360 Rather than just call in
00:12:00.360 Let's come together
00:12:01.360 And do what we've got to do
00:12:02.360 But
00:12:03.360 I'm not going to
00:12:04.360 I'm not going to just
00:12:06.360 Say
00:12:07.360 Oh well
00:12:08.360 You know
00:12:09.360 I should pick a different guy
00:12:10.360 No, because I've been in that situation
00:12:11.360 And I've got friends
00:12:12.360 That's been in that situation
00:12:13.360 Where
00:12:14.360 You don't say
00:12:15.360 You don't think you should pick a different guy?
00:12:17.360 No, you can pick a different guy
00:12:19.360 But that doesn't mean to say
00:12:20.360 That
00:12:21.360 You picking a different guy
00:12:22.360 Okay, you've got some women that like
00:12:24.360 You know
00:12:25.360 Bad boys
00:12:26.360 And then you've got women that like
00:12:28.360 Corporate men
00:12:29.360 Yeah
00:12:30.360 If it's in you to cheat
00:12:31.360 You're going to cheat
00:12:32.360 It doesn't
00:12:33.360 It's not like
00:12:34.360 But my point is not
00:12:35.360 Like a very small percentage of men can cheat
00:12:37.360 So if you find yourself getting cheated on
00:12:39.360 Cheated on
00:12:40.360 Cheated on
00:12:41.360 And you're the common denominator
00:12:42.360 It's like
00:12:43.360 Well, no, not really
00:12:44.360 Because if you really sit down and ask somebody
00:12:46.360 Why are you cheating?
00:12:47.360 Like the guy in the back said
00:12:49.360 I like pom pom
00:12:50.360 And they want to sample it
00:12:51.360 I do
00:12:52.360 It's not always like
00:12:53.360 Right
00:12:54.360 That's right
00:12:55.360 No, I said
00:12:56.360 I was going by what he said
00:12:57.360 I'm not saying all
00:12:58.360 Okay
00:12:59.360 But that was his argument
00:13:00.360 Right
00:13:01.360 I like doing whatever
00:13:02.360 So what I'm saying is
00:13:04.360 It's not about
00:13:05.360 Well, you're the
00:13:06.360 If I've gone
00:13:07.360 And I've changed my line of
00:13:09.360 Who I'm putting
00:13:10.360 The energy out there to catch
00:13:12.360 If you're going to cheat
00:13:13.360 You're going to cheat
00:13:14.360 And that's how I look at it
00:13:16.360 I can't tell everybody
00:13:17.360 You.