JustPearlyThings - HEATED DEBATE on Body Positivity

00:00:00.000 Coming up next.

00:00:00.920 When I see the leaders of the movement start to lose weight

00:00:04.120 and talk about eating healthy and actually doing the work,

00:00:07.240 like, that's when I would agree with you.

00:00:09.320 But I just don't think it's part, like, the way Lizzo's going.

00:00:11.560 Like, who do we think of?

00:00:12.280 Who's the leaders?

00:00:12.820 Yeah, Lizzo, Test Holiday.

00:00:14.820 She's, like, constantly eating healthy.

00:00:16.600 What's that?

00:00:17.880 Renate check.

00:00:18.520 I forgot her name.

00:00:18.540 Lizzo puts her lunches, and it's always healthy.

00:00:21.140 If you watch it, she is healthy.

00:00:22.800 And she's constantly exercising.

00:00:24.920 I will pull up the food right now she posts.

00:00:28.280 Okay, maybe some of them.

00:00:29.300 I will pull it up.

00:00:30.220 Maybe I've got so much more.

00:00:31.560 We'll have three trainers.

00:00:32.720 Three trainers.

00:00:33.920 Yeah, maybe not one of them.

00:00:34.980 No, if you count the calories.

00:00:35.960 No, I just have reactions to these.

00:00:38.120 They are not healthy.

00:00:38.780 But I feel like what most people don't like about body positivity

00:00:42.040 or the people at the top of these movements is they're claiming

00:00:46.520 that they're a victim.

00:00:48.100 You know what I mean?

00:00:48.600 They're saying, you know, I need to pay for two plane tickets.

00:00:52.160 Or, you know, I get treated differently.

00:00:54.600 Well, that's all on you.

00:00:55.800 You have the power to change that.

00:00:58.040 100%.

00:00:58.440 It's just, again, like we said earlier, it's where you deflect the game.

00:01:02.700 It's where you deflect the blame.

00:01:03.480 People aren't always overweight because they air.

00:01:06.140 Like, you need to remember, a lot of people are overweight

00:01:08.480 because they're ill or something happened, and that's how they're overweight.

00:01:11.860 So that's why you can't discriminate against big people.

00:01:14.700 No, it's not discriminating, but I'm saying you've got to take the victimhood away from fat people.

00:01:19.840 The general fat person that doesn't have a disease, that doesn't have, you know, a pre-existing condition,

00:01:25.940 they're ultimately just fat, and it's on them.

00:01:28.800 It's because the people get nasty, and that's what happens, and that's that.

00:01:32.000 I can't be sorry for someone.

00:01:33.740 Okay, you don't need to feel sorry for them, but just don't be nasty.

00:01:36.320 But he's right, it's 100% in your control, but we'll shame guys for being short, having little,

00:01:42.140 we'll say short man syndrome, he's got a this, he's got a that.

00:01:44.920 And nobody has sympathy for men, but for some reason, like, when it's body positivity,

00:01:50.420 now we're supposed to have sympathy when that's in your control.

00:01:53.800 But there's also a fat called visceral fat.

00:01:56.440 So there's fat and visceral fat.

00:01:58.000 Are you aware of what visceral fat is?

00:02:01.440 The fat around the heart, no?

00:02:02.480 Exactly.

00:02:03.020 And the arteries.

00:02:03.800 So if you was to find out your visceral fat is at an alarming stage,

00:02:08.120 would you continue to live the life you're living?

00:02:11.020 And this is the thing we should be more aware of.

00:02:13.780 The word weight, I'm not, we shouldn't be using the word weight so much,

00:02:23.120 but yet the other numbers that are way more important,

00:02:25.520 we're talking about body fat, muscle mass percentage, water percentage, visceral fat,

00:02:30.760 which is one of the most dangerous fat that you can approach.

00:02:35.060 So if you was to find out where your visceral fat is at,

00:02:38.000 and it's at an alarming stage, you would not be sitting here talking about body positivity.

00:02:43.780 Do you guys get those tests done?

00:02:45.360 You would not.

00:02:46.620 So I have like severe asthma, which was caused by COVID.

00:02:50.620 So I've had a lot of health tests done.

00:02:52.580 And in general, I'm pretty healthy.

00:02:54.880 Like in terms of my heart and what's going on with me, like I'm pretty healthy.

00:02:59.260 A lot of that is youth.

00:03:00.320 I think that if I was older and like at the same BMI I'm at, it might be more difficult.

00:03:06.060 Do you know where visceral fat is at?

00:03:08.240 I have no idea, but I'm sure that my doctor does and they didn't have any problem with my heart in general

00:03:13.140 because I had all those tests done recently because, you know, my asthma like stopped me breathing

00:03:17.800 because I'm allergic to my pet guinea pigs.

00:03:19.880 It's a whole thing.

00:03:21.220 But yeah, I've had all those tests and I'm reasonably healthy.

00:03:24.220 That doesn't mean I could be healthier and that doesn't mean it won't get harder as I get older.

00:03:27.260 I'm very aware that like as I reach my 30s and things like that, I'm 26 now,

00:03:30.680 things will get harder to shift and I'd rather do something about it now.

00:03:35.560 And as I said before, I just don't think you can be healthy at your size.

00:03:40.160 I don't think that anybody is kidding themselves by that though.

00:03:44.240 Like I don't think that anybody my size thinks they have their pinnacle health.

00:03:48.060 You just said that you were healthy.

00:03:49.080 In terms of like what my doctor said and like I wasn't told at the hospital.

00:03:52.580 These doctors don't know that.

00:03:53.740 What does that mean?

00:03:54.760 What did you say?

00:03:55.680 I'd prefer to hear it from a nutritionist than a doctor.

00:03:58.620 Or a second opinion.

00:03:59.460 I don't know much about that.

00:04:01.180 But like obviously like I mean I have serious asthma.

00:04:03.500 So like I was in hospital and I had a lot of chats and things like that about my general health.

00:04:08.000 Well and that can be caused by food too because I have issues with asthma too.

00:04:11.120 A doctor and a nutritionist will give it to different results.

00:04:13.400 Yeah.

00:04:13.980 I think it's for me like I'm not going to kid myself and be like I'm at my full health.

00:04:19.520 Like no, I'm very overweight.

00:04:21.520 Like I'm not joking myself about that.

00:04:23.220 I would like to lose weight.

00:04:24.020 As I said, if I could press a button and be skinny, I would.

00:04:26.360 I just think that's what the body positive.

00:04:27.940 If like if body positivity was really like body positive, it would be about losing weight.

00:04:33.400 But I just think it's not about losing weight.

00:04:35.740 It's about being content.

00:04:36.940 I think for them it's actually mental positivity because body positivity is about being confident,

00:04:43.100 keeping a sane mind.

00:04:44.100 And when you talk about body positivity, all I hear is about mental things like being confident.

00:04:50.140 I've not seen mental.

00:04:51.640 Well, he's getting the gist.

00:04:53.760 But what's wrong with that?

00:04:55.020 Mental positivity is about body positivity.

00:04:55.900 You're lying to yourself.

00:04:57.260 That's what I'm saying.

00:04:57.900 You're lying to yourself basically, yeah.

00:04:58.960 You know, you could call yourself healthy, but you know, in reality, the reality is you're

00:05:04.420 probably not healthy.

00:05:05.620 Nobody said we're healthy or I'm healthy.

00:05:07.900 We know we have to eat healthy and do exercise.

00:05:10.180 She just said that she's healthy.

00:05:11.360 You said that she's healthy.

00:05:12.000 She said that she's healthy.

00:05:13.020 What she probably means is, did you mean, did you mean the fact that you ain't got a big

00:05:17.080 illness or diabetes or blood, high blood pressure, all that, that's what she meant.

00:05:21.640 Would you say, would you say, would you say, would you say obesity is unhealthy?

00:05:26.020 Yeah.

00:05:26.300 Yes.

00:05:26.840 Well then, yes.

00:05:27.380 I don't know if anyone would disagree with that.

00:05:29.080 And I think to the point around visceral fat and smoking.

00:05:32.980 So now in the UK, at least, if you want to buy a packet of cigarettes or tobacco, you've

00:05:37.880 got loads of like images of lungs and what it does and like all sorts of scary images are

00:05:42.880 supposed to put people off.

00:05:44.160 I wonder if we were to have the same sorts of images around visceral fat, maybe actual

00:05:50.400 people of actual images of obese people, although that could be problematic to some

00:05:54.440 on unhealthy food, if that would have a deterrent effect.

00:05:59.040 So let's start showing fat people on chocolates and stuff.

00:06:01.580 Well, I wonder if it would.

00:06:02.580 I mean, if you're showing fat people, like if you've just got an image of a fat person,

00:06:05.880 that's probably quite problematic.

00:06:06.580 Remember the commercials they used to do about smoking, where it's like smoking will kill

00:06:10.420 you.

00:06:11.120 Why don't they have that for obesity when 60% of the population is overweight or obese?

00:06:15.600 They should.

00:06:16.160 Why not?

00:06:17.100 We should.

00:06:17.560 Why don't we start a campaign?

00:06:19.400 I think we're the right group of people.

00:06:21.920 I think we're the right group of people.

00:06:24.080 You know, I'll produce it myself.

00:06:26.460 One of the key things that we're establishing here, though, is that all three overweight people

00:06:30.180 here are not saying that you shouldn't be healthy.

00:06:32.160 We're not saying that you should be obese.

00:06:33.460 We're all saying, yes, it's about to obese.

00:06:35.660 Yes, we should get better.

00:06:36.680 Yes.

00:06:36.940 I mean, I'm saying that because of my youth, I don't have high blood pressure.

00:06:39.840 I don't have any of those things wrong with me.

00:06:41.800 Doesn't mean that in 20 years it won't be.

00:06:43.480 But I think I would love to hear that message more from influencers like yourself rather than

00:06:50.180 being content with the way you look, rather than talking about wearing a bikini to the beach.

00:06:54.080 I think the better solution is what you're doing, which is to be an example of losing

00:06:59.780 weight and being healthy, but actually healthy.

00:07:02.300 At the same time, I don't think that you should wait to enjoy yourself because of your weight.

00:07:05.800 I don't think you should wait to wear a bikini.

00:07:07.400 I don't think you should wait to do any of those things.

00:07:08.960 I don't think you should dislike yourself or not wear the dress you want to wear or

00:07:12.220 not go somewhere you want to go because of your weight or not have pictures.

00:07:15.340 I've met people who won't have their picture taken.

00:07:17.140 No one's saying that, but I do think that when you're obese, that should be your first priority.

00:07:21.000 So I do think maybe instead of wearing a dress and going out on the town, you should go to

00:07:25.800 the gym instead.

00:07:27.660 It comes down to motive.

00:07:29.760 Why are you wearing a bikini?

00:07:31.200 Why are you going to the club in a revealing dress?

00:07:33.800 Are you enjoying yourself at the club?

00:07:35.220 Why are you wearing a bikini?

00:07:37.300 Because I wanted to go have fun with my friends.

00:07:40.060 I think I look good.

00:07:41.100 Why does anyone wear a bikini? 0.98

00:07:42.580 I would say wearing a revealing dress.

00:07:46.020 Would her reasons for wearing a bikini be any different from a mid-sized 1.00

00:07:50.880 or slim person at the beach where you are supposed to wear a bikini?

00:07:53.680 I would say nine out of ten women wear a bikini. 1.00

00:07:56.840 One for attention from males. 0.98

00:07:59.480 Two to woo another guy probably.

00:08:01.780 Why do they wear revealing dresses at clubs? 1.00

00:08:04.300 I would say it's mainly for attention.

00:08:05.680 I mean, they say it's for themselves, but...

00:08:08.200 I would say it's mainly for attention.

00:08:10.120 I don't say it's like, I wear a bikini because I feel comfortable in a bikini.

00:08:14.540 I wear a bikini because I just want to impress my friends.

00:08:17.640 I'd say nine times out of ten, you're trying to impress another guy

00:08:20.860 or, you know, whoever you're attracted to.

00:08:23.280 And what's wrong with a fat woman trying to impress her nine? 1.00

00:08:24.940 A man with a short arms.

00:08:26.200 I just think it's unrealistic for them to think that a lot of people

00:08:30.960 are finding them attractive when majority wouldn't.

00:08:34.040 Is that fair to say?

00:08:35.400 I don't know.

00:08:35.880 I'm not the majority.

00:08:36.520 I'm not attracted to women. 1.00

00:08:37.700 So I can't answer that question.

00:08:38.560 I can't speak for all men, but I would say majority of blokes

00:08:42.060 wouldn't find fat women in a bikini attractive. 1.00

00:08:45.800 Does it depend on what her shape is like? 0.57

00:08:47.340 Can we get a consensus from the guys?

00:08:50.120 Actually, I'm just...

00:08:51.160 There's five guys in the room.

00:08:52.860 Six.

00:08:53.580 So who here would disqualify a girl from dating her just based on her weight? 0.94

00:08:59.080 Yeah, 100%.

00:08:59.780 Yeah, 100%.

00:09:00.620 So you wouldn't, you would, so...

00:09:02.720 That and confident.

00:09:03.980 Who's not confident here?

00:09:05.140 King, would you disqualify a girl based on her weight? 1.00

00:09:10.780 Yeah.

00:09:11.220 Yeah.

00:09:11.560 What is that weight limit?

00:09:12.300 I'd be so interested to know what that weight limit is.

00:09:14.420 Would you disqualify a guy if he was fat?

00:09:18.220 Yeah.

00:09:19.940 But I have dated a bigger guy before, but yeah.

00:09:23.220 Oh, Pearl! 0.99

00:09:25.200 I have.

00:09:25.600 You were so nice.

00:09:26.340 Well, yeah, but...

00:09:26.860 So that's 100%.

00:09:28.660 We just asked five guys.

00:09:30.040 You famously dated a bigger guy, Pearl.

00:09:31.480 I'll take that.

00:09:31.980 Small sample size.

00:09:33.240 I'm sorry, I'm a number.

00:09:34.020 Statistically significantly.

00:09:34.980 I'm a school son, so no matter what, if I'm with you on your numbers, then right.

00:09:39.960 But go for gold.

00:09:40.820 If you enjoy wearing a bikini, go for gold.

00:09:44.040 That bods are in.

00:09:45.400 I'll just last...

00:09:46.180 Yes, they are.

00:09:47.480 No.

00:09:47.620 We're not talking about weight, are we?

00:09:49.000 So what is the weight limit?

00:09:50.140 Like, is it if a woman is, I don't know, I don't know... 1.00

00:09:52.520 It's just aesthetically appealing.

00:09:54.180 So for a black woman, it's about shape, right? 1.00

00:09:56.640 If she had a tiny waist, she was buxom, and she had large thighs and a big butt, 1.00

00:10:00.220 you would be like, yeah, she's rocking that.

00:10:02.080 But if she was rounder, like more of an apple shape, then you'd be like, yeah, you need to go cover that. 0.96

00:10:06.360 I'd say there's tears.

00:10:07.560 I'd say there's tears for sure.

00:10:08.760 I mean, if you look at Nicki Minaj, you'd go, oh, yeah, okay.

00:10:11.540 I could see her in a bikini, wouldn't mind that. 0.90

00:10:13.580 She's probably a bit larger than the average individual. 1.00

00:10:16.040 But an obese woman in a bikini, probably not everyone's cup of tea. 1.00

00:10:19.300 Would you go up to her and ask her what the fat around her heart is like, if she looked like...

00:10:24.020 No, no, no.

00:10:24.760 I would judge her based on how she looks.

00:10:27.160 If she looks unhealthy, probably disqualifies her. 0.91

00:10:29.760 That's probably fair.

00:10:30.920 How long have you been a personal trainer, can I ask?

00:10:32.740 Yeah.

00:10:33.160 How long have you been a personal trainer?

00:10:33.940 How long?

00:10:34.380 Yeah.

00:10:34.880 I'm just qualified, but probably since 2018.

00:10:37.980 Yeah.

00:10:38.580 So three of my latest Instagram posts sent me in a bikini, in different bikinis, and they all did absolutely fine.

00:10:44.860 They have lots of comments telling me how great I look, and I think I look great in them, you know?

00:10:48.800 And I'm an obese one.

00:10:50.400 So do your clients trust you?

00:10:51.820 Is that an echo chamber?

00:10:52.880 Do your clients trust you?

00:10:54.920 Do your clients trust you?

00:10:56.080 I would think they would, yeah.

00:10:56.920 And what's the biggest client you've had, like the biggest weight?

00:11:00.300 I'd say I mainly train guys, but just, I would say the average, probably like 100, 110 kilos.

00:11:09.000 I'm sorry, listen, you need to do more personal training, because until you make a big person lose weight,

00:11:15.480 you're like a big, big, big person lose weight.

00:11:18.120 Well, actually, there's some-

00:11:19.100 How, could you think about it, man?

00:11:20.680 Come on.

00:11:21.340 Yeah.

00:11:22.040 Personal trainer, their job is to help people.

00:11:24.400 No, but the issue is even when you lose weight, 80% of fat people regain it within five years. 0.81

00:11:32.400 And sorry, I didn't mean to do shit, because I'm not here, I don't want to come, but for real,

00:11:37.660 you know, a personal trainer, it's all about actually helping and encouraging others, 0.60

00:11:42.000 and you need to actually set an example and be the example.

00:11:44.500 No, but check this.

00:11:45.220 No, but wait, wait, wait, wait, but you see with the personal trainers, yeah?

00:11:48.860 How long do you spend with your client?

00:11:52.120 An hour, if that.

00:11:53.880 An hour, if that.

00:11:55.000 So, if any more time, you what, twice a week, three times a week?

00:11:58.900 So then how am I going to control your life or make you lose weight or motivate you,

00:12:02.900 if you're not even committing yourself to losing weight yourself?

00:12:06.800 Personal trainers.

00:12:07.140 And a lot of women just get a personal trainer as a counsellor. 1.00

00:12:11.140 There are so many personal trainers that I know.

00:12:13.480 Wait, say that again?

00:12:14.200 I'm saying a lot of women just get personal trainers as a counsellor. 1.00

00:12:17.000 They go there, tell them all their problems.

00:12:19.420 They're not really there to lose weight.

00:12:21.080 Wait, wait, really?

00:12:22.600 True, true, true.

00:12:24.180 So, I mean, what he's saying is it's on the individual.

00:12:28.080 You have to have some responsibility.

00:12:29.600 The personal trainer can't babysit you.

00:12:31.280 Hey, what are you eating?

00:12:32.240 Monitoring.

00:12:32.620 They can encourage you all they want.

00:12:33.680 But then how do other personal trainers help other big, big people lose proper weight?

00:12:37.960 Like, I know my friend went really small.

00:12:41.120 I think if there's less of a body positivity movement, like more big, big people.

00:12:46.520 It's more that more positive attitude needs to be promoted by personal trainers in general.

00:12:51.840 Not him, but in general.

00:12:53.280 Because when you go to a gym, what is it?

00:12:55.940 It's personal trainers that are meant to be saying, you're in a gym.

00:12:59.100 Well done.

00:12:59.740 You've made it.

00:13:00.500 You usually sit at home, eating, whatever.

00:13:02.880 You're in the gym.

00:13:04.000 Let me help you.

00:13:04.860 But no, it's the opposite.

00:13:05.980 Those are PTs with structure.

00:13:10.860 Because if I started training you, I already motivated you from the start to start training.

00:13:15.580 And if every, let's just say week or two, you are checking your numbers and every week

00:13:19.460 or two, you're actually getting results from these numbers, that's motivating you to come

00:13:24.200 to the gym more, to be there more, to eat healthier, to do more.

00:13:28.160 It's because you are getting better every single day.

00:13:31.660 It has nothing to do with the PT.

00:13:33.800 It has nothing to do with how much you show up.

00:13:36.540 It's about what you're doing behind my back.

00:13:39.140 It's all up to you.

00:13:41.060 You are your own motivation.

00:13:42.940 And when I show you these numbers and you see every two weeks or month that, listen,

00:13:47.140 I dropped four kg in, let's just say one month, that should motivate you to do more.

00:13:53.780 It's all in the numbers. 0.95

00:13:55.120 It has nothing to do with mental health and our lifestyle and all this and all that bullshit. 0.97

00:13:59.100 No. 0.99

00:14:00.300 It's all in your numbers.

00:14:01.940 That's just my opinion.

00:14:03.820 And when I show that to my clients, they're motivated to do more.

00:14:08.560 They're motivated to lose more.

00:14:10.560 It's because they see that they're improving themselves by showing up and doing what they

00:14:14.620 have to do and showing that consistency.

00:14:16.820 That's all that's important, to be honest.

00:14:20.720 You know what, you keep on dropping this word motivation.

00:14:23.440 I hear motivation a lot in this podcast, but a lot of people lose motivation very quickly.

00:14:28.820 And it's what it is.

00:14:29.720 It's actually discipline.

00:14:31.280 Discipline to get you to your goals.

00:14:32.880 A lot of people are not disciplined.

00:14:34.740 A lot of people are not consistent in their goals either.

00:14:37.240 A lot of people are consistently doing nonsense.

00:14:39.280 So, it's just like, stay on point.

00:14:42.460 But how are you going to do it?

00:14:43.680 Unless you're stuck in your ways, you need to break the cycle, you know?

00:14:47.480 And a lot of people aren't breaking their cycle.

00:14:49.060 You're saying earlier on, it was hard for you to do it.

00:14:51.360 But for whatever reason, we need to break this barrel.

00:14:55.040 So, how are we going to do that?

00:14:56.440 Just like a concert.

00:14:57.680 Let me just say Beyonce. 0.84

00:14:58.760 If you want to go to a Beyonce concert, bad, and you don't have the money, you will find

00:15:03.280 this money someway, somehow.

00:15:06.840 To go to this concert.

00:15:07.840 Priorities.

00:15:08.880 Yeah, it was 100% priorities.

00:15:10.460 I actually really wanted to go, but as a freelancer, I had to.

00:15:13.880 You would find a way.

00:15:14.540 I had to honestly.

00:15:15.080 So, it's the same way.

00:15:15.920 You find a way to lose weight.

00:15:16.980 Well, where I think it's gone wrong is, what was your name again?

00:15:20.220 Sorry.

00:15:20.620 I'm Pia.

00:15:21.380 Pia.

00:15:21.700 Where it's gone wrong is, you're getting rewarded almost on social media.

00:15:27.740 You're saying, oh, comments found me attractive.

00:15:29.320 It's okay.

00:15:29.980 But in reality, like I said before, nine out of ten people would say it's unattractive.

00:15:38.000 And I think you guys could agree with that.

00:15:39.800 But again, as I said, I've never struggled.

00:15:42.680 I've never felt unattractive in my life.

00:15:44.360 I've never got into a club that is strict about, like, Mayfair clubs.

00:15:48.020 I've always got in.

00:15:49.020 It doesn't matter what way I am.

00:15:50.140 I've always felt attractive and been attractive in my life.

00:15:53.480 Like, I've never struggled.

00:15:55.440 Is that saying, are you waiting until?

00:15:59.300 Like, are you going to continue?

00:16:01.140 I don't want to say continue getting to where you are, but you're going to stay comfortable until?

00:16:05.200 No, I'm trying to say that.

00:16:06.300 I just think it's a criteria of what you think attractive is.

00:16:09.520 I'm trying to lose weight.

00:16:10.400 You're telling yourself you're attractive and you're putting the criteria as I get into Mayfair clubs and exclusive parties and whatnot.

00:16:17.500 But if the general consensus of what is attractive, of what men find beautiful in women, then I'm not saying to your face that you probably wouldn't tick that.

00:16:28.460 But I'm just saying at your current weight, probably not.

00:16:31.760 But what I would say is that, like, I am actively trying to lose weight, but that has nothing to do with how attractive I am.

00:16:36.980 And that is not something that motivates me.

00:16:38.580 That's true.

00:16:38.880 I think it does.

00:16:40.220 I think it's delusional.

00:16:41.660 I'm not trying to lose weight because of how attractive I think other people think I am.

00:16:45.480 Well, I'm not saying why, but I'm saying your weight absolutely does dictate how attractive you are.

00:16:50.180 Okay, yeah, like, fine.

00:16:51.680 But that's not a motivator for me, losing weight.

00:16:54.680 That's not a motivation.

00:16:55.900 It's just whether you're attractive or not.

00:16:57.060 That's what Pils said.

00:16:57.740 But what does that have to do then?

00:16:58.680 But she's saying weight has a direct impact on how attractive you are.

00:17:02.560 Well, and I think if all attention, I mean, you just talked about the attention you got from Instagram.

00:17:07.600 So if all attention was taken from you tomorrow, I think it would motivate you to lose weight.

00:17:11.760 But the problem is even overweight women still get attention because of Instagram, social media, and all of this stuff that, like, normalizes obesity. 1.00

00:17:21.100 Like, 100 years ago, everybody was in shape.

00:17:23.780 So if you were overweight, like, you would be shamed.

00:17:26.560 Everybody would say something.

00:17:28.100 You were the outcast.

00:17:29.140 But now it's normal.

00:17:31.200 Pearl, that's because people have different beauty in their eyes.

00:17:36.420 Like, some people, they will look at someone and weight wouldn't matter.

00:17:40.980 It's their real beauty.

00:17:42.440 So that's why you've seen the big girl with the fit guy or the big guy with the fit girl.

00:17:46.660 I'll only believe it when the men with all the options start picking big women. 1.00

00:17:53.740 Has anyone ever seen Brad Pitt with an extremely fat chick? 1.00

00:17:57.000 But you'll see a hot chick with a really rich, ugly guy. 1.00

00:18:02.600 Yeah, because he's got money and status. 0.97

00:18:04.840 Name me one Hollywood A-lister that's gone out with a morbidly obese woman. 1.00

00:18:09.080 Can't think of one.

00:18:10.260 I'm sorry, they got a public profile to think about.

00:18:13.580 No, because there are lots of secret chub chasers, let me tell you that. 1.00

00:18:17.920 A lot of secret undercover ones.

00:18:19.760 But secret doesn't count.

00:18:21.400 Women value commitment, so secret doesn't count. 1.00

00:18:26.000 That's like saying, oh, I'm this person's side chick.

00:18:28.540 It doesn't count.

00:18:29.600 No, no.

00:18:29.960 Like, it doesn't matter. 0.97

00:18:33.380 So if we're talking about being attractive to men, we could sit here and all jab at Pia or person X and say, yeah, but you're not attractive to men because you're fat. 0.89

00:18:46.600 A, she's already got a boyfriend.

00:18:49.020 B, I would say that the goalposts always change for women because even if person X were to lose weight, maybe they, I don't know, have dark hair and men prefer blonde. 1.00

00:18:59.960 And then she's got to bleach her hair and she is too short, but there's nothing she can do about her height. 0.99

00:19:05.180 So her dating pool is always going to be that little bit smaller.

00:19:07.980 Preference is bred by variation.

00:19:11.700 Look at all of the variation between like the people in this room.

00:19:14.060 There are some people, let's talk about now women and being attracted to men. 0.87

00:19:18.700 There are people like who would prefer you, John, over person B, and that's fine, right?

00:19:25.080 Like if you are not attractive to person A, you're going to be attractive to someone else.

00:19:29.720 But the criteria will always change.

00:19:32.020 The goalposts will always move, especially for women, because we know that there's a huge market around like beauty standards. 1.00

00:19:37.420 The goalposts move for men. 0.99

00:19:39.800 I mean, I'm probably just about to say that as well.

00:19:41.940 You've got to have a high status to a command and attractive woman. 0.98

00:19:45.100 But to that point, I mean, Pia, I'm glad you found love.

00:19:49.120 It's great for you and you've got a boyfriend.

00:19:51.320 But would you think if you were healthier, maybe skinnier, that you would find someone other than your boyfriend that's a bit more attractive, a bit more high status, has a higher paying job?

00:20:02.020 But I'm just throwing it out.

00:20:03.040 Do you think if you were more attractive due to your weight, that you would find someone better than your current boyfriend?

00:20:09.340 Or is that too personal to us?

00:20:10.340 No, I think that my boyfriend is great.

00:20:13.020 My boyfriend's very kind.

00:20:14.220 He's very generous.

00:20:14.920 He pays for everything.

00:20:15.720 Takes me on holiday.

00:20:16.480 We literally just came back from holiday.

00:20:18.300 Paid for everything.

00:20:19.360 Bites me Prada bags.

00:20:21.060 No, he's a wonderful man.

00:20:22.840 Why is everyone creeping on you?

00:20:24.500 Why you got these bikini pictures but no boyfriend on your Instagram?

00:20:28.060 So he owns a business and he doesn't want my brand associated with him.

00:20:32.500 Oh, he doesn't want it.

00:20:32.900 He doesn't.

00:20:33.400 Yeah, which is totally like I'm on his.

00:20:34.260 That's a red flag, Pia.

00:20:35.620 But he doesn't.

00:20:37.340 It's his choice.

00:20:38.220 Like I've offered, but he doesn't want his brand associated with mine just in case it gets cancelled or something.

00:20:42.580 I don't know.

00:20:42.760 Is that true love?

00:20:44.140 What does that mean?

00:20:46.220 He doesn't want his brand associated with you.

00:20:48.020 Yeah, because he has a company.

00:20:49.080 You guys are a couple.

00:20:50.220 Yeah, but he has a company.

00:20:51.560 His private stuff is all associated with me, like our Facebooks and things like that, that just our friends can see.

00:20:56.260 But not like publicly because people are kind of crazy.

00:21:01.340 Do you think if you were skinnier, you could have got a more attractive boyfriend?

00:21:04.840 No, I love my boyfriend and I think he's incredibly attractive and I think he's incredibly attractive to me.

00:21:09.480 So you do think if you were skinnier, you wouldn't?

00:21:12.140 I've been skinnier.

00:21:12.880 Man, they like each other.

00:21:14.340 They find each other attractive.

00:21:15.980 And I agree.

00:21:16.500 There's always going to be someone that finds bigger women attractive. 1.00

00:21:19.300 But let's take it away from you.

00:21:20.660 You probably got someone in your friend circle that likes big people.

00:21:23.060 Let's take it away from you.

00:21:23.720 You just don't know.

00:21:24.820 It's not about Pia.

00:21:25.600 But let's take it away from you so it's not a personal thing.

00:21:28.400 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:21:28.840 So let's just say the average chick, do you think she has more options at 250 pounds? 1.00

00:21:33.400 I'm sorry, I don't know the conversion of that.

00:21:35.180 Or 120 pounds, which is like a skinny chick. 1.00

00:21:39.260 I think it depends on her figure, personally.

00:21:42.260 What do you think?

00:21:43.080 I think it depends on the girl.

00:21:44.600 For me, personally, I prefer my boyfriend that I have now, that I'm overweight, that I did my boyfriend I had when I was skinny.

00:21:50.960 Sorry, Louis.

00:21:51.500 Well, again, we're taking this away from you.

00:21:57.040 Away from you.

00:21:57.740 So just the average chick being obese or being skinny. 1.00

00:22:00.740 Yeah, but I've talked about how I had more attention when I was that weight.

00:22:03.680 But also, women need to pick correctly. 1.00

00:22:05.920 And a lot of women pick wrong. 1.00

00:22:07.220 It doesn't matter. 1.00

00:22:07.700 You can have the most attractive woman in the world and she will still pick a fucking dickhead. 1.00

00:22:11.620 Like, it just, you know what I mean? 1.00

00:22:12.840 Like, it doesn't matter.

00:22:13.800 You have to pick correctly.

00:22:14.920 And a lot of that has to do with your self-worth and self-esteem, which, for me, doesn't correlate to my weight.

00:22:20.840 Well, and I'm not discrediting what you're saying about picking correctly.

00:22:24.680 My only point is that the girl thinner will have more options. 1.00

00:22:28.260 That's the only point of making it.

00:22:29.080 Yeah, but every girl has so many options. 0.99

00:22:31.940 Just being a woman, if you go on Tinder, it doesn't matter. 1.00

00:22:34.620 Like, Tess Holliday can go on Tinder right now and she'll have loads.

00:22:39.140 Poor sex, but not commitment from the men that we want. 0.56

00:22:42.920 And we can see this because there are more and more women that are going to be single and childless. 0.99

00:22:48.120 They're predicting half of us are going to be single and childless.

00:22:50.900 Meaning that the men are not living up to what the women want. 0.66

00:22:55.920 Just remember, it's not personal to you.

00:22:58.440 Yeah, I don't take it personally.

00:23:00.480 But, like, I don't know.

00:23:02.140 So, like, in terms of that question, that's a very big question.

00:23:06.180 I don't know what the answer is.

00:23:07.780 But I don't think any woman struggles for attention. 0.99

00:23:11.300 Yeah, but attention isn't commitment in relationships, which is what women want. 1.00

00:23:15.020 But, like, I've never met a woman that really genuinely struggles to get a boy to date her. 0.96

00:23:19.700 Like, it...

00:23:20.300 What? 0.99

00:23:22.300 I would say ugly chicks. 1.00

00:23:24.360 I've met a lot of... 0.96

00:23:25.200 That struggle.

00:23:25.640 I've met a lot of men that struggle to get women to date them, but not women.

00:23:29.020 A boy, but not the boy they want.

00:23:31.540 I would say that's really common.

00:23:33.020 And even to your point, from my experience, guys that are going out or committed to larger women,

00:23:42.000 I'm saying, like, fat chicks, they are usually not the man in the relationship. 1.00

00:23:47.740 Does that make sense?

00:23:48.260 I don't think they're wearing the pants.

00:23:49.800 Nine times out of ten...

00:23:51.540 Actually, I think they are wearing the pants because they're helping the big person do things.

00:23:56.800 Like, help them with their...

00:23:58.120 Just help them.

00:23:59.000 Just make them...

00:24:00.000 Right, but that would make sense, though, because if you're helping her do things, then she's wearing the pants.

00:24:06.700 Because in a traditional relationship, she's helping him, not the other way around.

00:24:10.120 No, but that's the thing.

00:24:10.800 It's, again, it's down to each individual relationship.

00:24:14.880 Some people motivate themselves.

00:24:16.640 Like, you mentioned a few of the big stories, how people are promoting eating, but then there are so many stories where people met each other and they lost weight together.

00:24:29.120 There's so many.

00:24:30.540 There's hundreds.

00:24:31.120 And I'm saying, I wish the body positivity movement would promote those instead of Lizzo.

00:24:37.400 I wish they would promote weight loss instead of people that are content being big.

00:24:42.080 I think if we really wanted to be positive about it, that's what we would promote.

00:24:46.200 And I'm sorry, that is just not the consensus on what we see in the media.

00:24:50.020 But Pearl, it's not a real...

00:24:52.360 What I'm saying is, I feel like the media has a narrative, but it's almost like some of the plus-size things that I see written on magazines, or...

00:25:05.100 I can't relate to it, because I'm like, no, it's not like that for me.

00:25:08.900 When I see the leaders of the movement start to lose weight and talk about eating healthy and actually doing the work, that's when I would agree with you.

00:25:17.320 But I just don't think it's pot, like the way Lizzo's going, like who do we think of?

00:25:20.280 Who's the leaders?

00:25:20.680 Yeah, who's the leaders of the movement?

00:25:21.700 Lizzo, test holiday.

00:25:22.820 She's like constantly eating healthy. 0.99

00:25:24.620 What's that?

00:25:25.800 Lizzo, Lizzo puts her lunches, and it's always healthy.

00:25:29.140 If you watch it, she is healthy.

00:25:30.820 And she's constantly exercising.

00:25:33.060 I will pull up the food right now she posted.

00:25:36.280 Okay, maybe some of them.

00:25:37.320 I will pull it up.

00:25:38.240 Maybe I've got so mesmerized by the food.

00:25:40.420 Three trainers, three trainers.

00:25:41.800 Yeah, maybe not all of them.

00:25:42.980 No, if you count the calories.

00:25:43.960 No, I just did reactions to these.

00:25:46.120 They are not healthy.

00:25:46.780 But I feel like what most people don't like about body positivity,

00:25:50.040 or the people at the top of these movements is they're claiming that they're a victim.

00:25:56.160 You know what I mean?

00:25:56.600 They're saying, you know, I need to pay for two plane tickets or, you know,

00:26:01.120 I get treated differently.

00:26:02.580 Well, that's all on you.

00:26:03.820 You have the power to change that.

00:26:06.060 100%.

00:26:06.460 It's just, again, like we said earlier, it's where you deflect the game.

00:26:10.700 It's where you deflect the blame.

00:26:11.580 People aren't always overweight because they air.

00:26:14.140 Like, you need to remember a lot of people are overweight because they're ill

00:26:17.460 or something happened, and that's how they're overweight.

00:26:19.880 So that's why you can't discriminate against big people.

00:26:22.740 It's not discriminating, but I'm saying you've got to take the victimhood away

00:26:26.660 from fat people.

00:26:27.840 The general fat person that doesn't have a disease,

00:26:29.920 that doesn't have, you know, a pre-existing condition,

00:26:33.980 they're ultimately just fat, and it's on them.

00:26:36.600 People get nasty, and that's what happens, and that's that.

00:26:40.000 I can't feel sorry for someone.

00:26:41.720 Okay, you don't need to feel sorry for them, but just don't be nasty.

00:26:45.000 It's 100% in your control, but we'll shame guys for being short,

00:26:49.000 having little, they'll say short man syndrome.

00:26:51.680 He's got a this, he's got a that.

00:26:53.140 People just.

00:26:53.480 And nobody has sympathy for men, but for some reason,

00:26:56.400 like, when it's body positivity, now we're supposed to have sympathy

00:27:00.060 when that's in your control.

00:27:02.420 Guys, guys, relax, honestly.

00:27:05.220 Relax.

00:27:06.860 We're just educating it, right?

00:27:09.000 It's just.

00:27:09.920 You guys, to live a life, you just have to things,

00:27:14.200 you have to see things lightly, seriously.

00:27:16.680 Everyone's relaxed.

00:27:17.280 I know we're relaxed, but I think with me.

00:27:19.780 I'm going to let him go, though, so go ahead.

00:27:21.680 If I was to ask you where you live,

00:27:23.060 where do you live?

00:27:24.500 Me?

00:27:24.940 Yeah.

00:27:26.200 At the moment, I live in Essex.

00:27:28.400 Yeah, my answer to you, you live in your body first.

00:27:31.440 Before you live in your house.

00:27:32.720 Oh, I live in my body.

00:27:33.700 Okay, that's true.

00:27:34.580 When you get up in the morning.

00:27:35.800 Yeah.

00:27:36.520 Yeah.

00:27:37.160 And you have breakfast.

00:27:38.320 Yeah.

00:27:38.880 You have the opportunity to make your diet better, right?

00:27:42.520 Listen, do you know what I eat for breakfast?

00:27:44.180 Porridge and water.

00:27:44.840 It's all right.

00:27:45.220 The same way you take care of your house is the same way you take care of your body.

00:27:47.820 You live here first.

00:27:48.640 So, as much as you try to take care of everything outside of your body, it's the same way you

00:27:53.860 could take care of yours.

00:27:55.500 Because that's where you live first.

00:27:56.780 You know, I don't know.

00:27:57.600 Before you live anywhere else.

00:27:58.320 I don't know anyone who eats porridge and water.

00:28:00.560 I actually eat that and now I'm used to it.

00:28:03.060 I'm just saying generally.

00:28:04.900 Yeah, I have porridge every day as well.

00:28:06.980 The same way you could take care of everything else in your life.

00:28:09.460 You can.

00:28:10.060 But I'm making that conscious.

00:28:11.360 Like I said, I keep stating that I am doing those things.

00:28:15.000 No, this is not to you.

00:28:15.900 This is generally.

00:28:16.900 Okay.

00:28:17.280 But like nobody is arguing that.

00:28:18.440 I don't think anybody here is arguing that.

00:28:20.980 Nobody here is saying you should be obese.

00:28:22.860 You should eat unhealthily.

00:28:23.780 You should be okay with eating unhealthily.

00:28:25.680 My argument is like you should not hold yourself back for being overweight.

00:28:29.920 You should just live your life and enjoy it.

00:28:31.440 I would say you can't not hold yourself back by being overweight.

00:28:35.220 I would say if you are overweight, you are holding yourself back.

00:28:37.600 You're going to get less opportunities.

00:28:38.780 You're not going to have as long of a life.

00:28:41.120 You're going to have health problems.

00:28:43.080 You're going to have mental health problems.

00:28:45.000 There is no way to not hold yourself back because of your weight.

00:28:48.420 I would acknowledge all of those things and still say you can still want to do those things.

00:28:52.520 You can still want to be healthier in the same way that I want to be healthier and I'm trying to lose weight.

00:28:55.800 But like I still won't stop myself doing things now because of my weight.

00:28:59.020 I won't feel insecure because of my weight.

00:29:00.560 I won't stop myself going out.

00:29:01.840 But your weight will stop you from doing certain things.

00:29:04.660 Like I'm even just first thing that comes to my head.

00:29:06.860 Can I ask you why?

00:29:07.620 Why?

00:29:09.240 Why won't you stop?

00:29:11.380 Stop what?

00:29:12.920 Stop doing things.

00:29:14.740 Oh, well, I enjoy doing.

00:29:16.060 Yeah.

00:29:16.260 Because like why would I not go to the beach with my friends and enjoy my summer and like just live my life.

00:29:22.000 But what's more important though?

00:29:22.420 Your health or your enjoying your friends?

00:29:24.220 What was that?

00:29:24.660 Sorry?

00:29:24.980 What's more important?

00:29:25.780 Your health or your friends?

00:29:27.500 I'm still working on my health.

00:29:29.460 But like what I'm saying is I'm not going to stop myself living my life because I'm overweight now.

00:29:34.260 I'm not going to put my life on pause because I'm overweight.

00:29:36.360 And I don't think anyone should.

00:29:37.520 You don't need to put your life on pause though.

00:29:39.640 You just have to commit yourself.

00:29:41.020 Yeah.

00:29:41.500 Yeah.

00:29:41.760 But you say that like I shouldn't be posting bikini photos on Instagram and I shouldn't be doing this.

00:29:46.960 And I shouldn't be in a bikini at the beach.

00:29:48.640 And Pals just said that. 0.94

00:29:49.580 No, I would say that.

00:29:52.140 Exactly.

00:29:52.800 No, I would say that.

00:29:53.480 So like you saying that, I would say, well, I am going to do that and I'm still going to lose weight and I'm still going to try and be healthy.

00:29:58.560 I'm still going to work on my issues.

00:30:00.140 But like I'm also going to live my life and do all the things that I want to do.

00:30:03.640 And I think that everybody overweight watching this should do the same thing.

00:30:06.000 And the reason why when a big person looks good, I make them feel good because that is the first step of them being like, do you know what?

00:30:14.980 I look good.

00:30:15.800 I feel good.

00:30:16.240 I can actually do this.

00:30:17.280 I can lose weight.

00:30:18.340 That's why I compliment big women when they look good and when they're feeling themselves. 1.00

00:30:22.980 I don't think they can look good when most men will disqualify you.

00:30:27.400 Wait, wait, wait.

00:30:28.160 When most men will disqualify you just for your weight alone.

00:30:31.120 Everyone deserves to feel beautiful and they should have that right to feel beautiful.

00:30:34.180 But I think everybody deserves to be beautiful.

00:30:37.200 And I think most women will be beautiful if they lose weight and they're in shape. 1.00

00:30:41.280 If you're in shape, you're at the top like 20% of women nowadays. 0.88

00:30:44.140 But different people have different beauty in their eyes.

00:30:46.560 Like I said earlier.

00:30:47.400 No, beauty is objective.

00:30:48.740 It's based off of symmetry and health.

00:30:51.200 Like your opinion, like everyone in this room, they don't find big people attractive.

00:30:55.900 That's fine.

00:30:56.480 That's understandable because we all have likes and dislikes.

00:30:59.760 But you need to know that it's your eyes and your eyes.

00:31:03.100 But some people are different.

00:31:05.240 You know what the ideal scenario is, Sugar Puff?

00:31:07.700 It's two fat people meet each other and lose weight together.

00:31:10.920 That's true love.

00:31:12.260 That's true.

00:31:12.720 That's what happens.

00:31:13.560 I know loads of people like that because it's a struggle.

00:31:17.240 And when you have support, I can imagine, I can see why they lose weight.

00:31:20.320 It's because they have that support.

00:31:22.300 And things that they find hard that they can't do to lose weight,

00:31:26.400 they get that support and they help one another.

00:31:28.160 But there are many support and guidance out there.

00:31:31.080 It's up to you to seek it.

00:31:32.960 Poor health charges interest though, doesn't it?

00:31:35.180 Like I think I'm not here to uphold the body positivity movement 0.98

00:31:40.100 because personally I couldn't give a crap about it. 0.91

00:31:43.220 But what I will say is poor health charges interest. 0.97

00:31:46.660 If you don't go to the gym once, you have a rest day or a cheat day

00:31:50.680 and then it becomes a habit and then all of a sudden your back hurts

00:31:54.040 or your ankles are swollen and now you find it even harder to work out

00:31:56.800 because you have mobility issues.

00:31:58.580 Like the issues just pile up.

00:32:00.420 That's another thing.

00:32:01.280 And I think that's something that a lot of people who are unhealthy,

00:32:06.700 unhealthily big, that's like a really ugly truth.

00:32:10.300 It's the horrible underbelly, if you can even call it that.

00:32:14.320 Well, that's such a huge pun.

00:32:15.700 Sorry.

00:32:16.440 Underbelly.

00:32:16.760 Yeah, it's like the really nasty underbelly of obesity.

00:32:21.780 Like having bed sores.

00:32:23.720 Isn't there that program like My 600-lb Life or whatever

00:32:26.060 and you see people, they can't get out of bed.

00:32:27.540 They didn't wake up like that.

00:32:29.540 They just ignored very small signs.

00:32:31.700 Your body whispers to you.

00:32:33.180 You choose to ignore it.

00:32:34.320 Then it starts to shout at you.

00:32:35.720 Exactly.

00:32:35.940 And all of a sudden you can't get out of bed.

00:32:37.800 There is no amount of body positivity.

00:32:40.100 There is no amount of Lizzo.

00:32:41.700 There's no amount of Tess Holiday.

00:32:43.240 It's going to take you out of that reality.

00:32:45.400 You have to do it yourself.

00:32:46.620 You just had the nail on your head.

00:32:47.700 That's it there.

00:32:48.720 I don't think anyone, like, I don't know if many people would deny that.

00:32:52.560 Like anyone who is big and is on their journey to health

00:32:57.080 is acutely aware of that.

00:32:59.080 It's the people who are, as we're saying,

00:33:01.240 are like nastily comfortable in very poor health.

00:33:05.800 I'm not talking about aesthetics.

00:33:07.420 I'm talking about poor health.

00:33:09.800 Those people are the people who desperately need help.

00:33:12.500 And I wonder if it's just like a drug addiction

00:33:14.400 where you sort of need to be pushed into something to help you,

00:33:18.240 some sort of program.

00:33:19.240 I don't know how.

00:33:20.520 Yeah, like, is it something that needs rehab?

00:33:22.600 I don't know.

00:33:23.020 Maybe that's quite dangerous.

00:33:24.020 I would know a few of those things, you know.

00:33:25.820 I think we should have fat camp.

00:33:28.240 100%.

00:33:28.660 We have rehab for drug addicts.

00:33:31.080 I'm not going to lie, like, I would go to a fat camp.

00:33:32.820 100%.

00:33:33.160 I think that would help me being immersed in it.

00:33:35.720 Why don't we encourage it in society?

00:33:37.820 Like, why aren't there weight limits at clubs like there is at, like, theme parks?

00:33:42.480 Because it's safety.

00:33:43.780 Like that, I understand what you're saying.

00:33:45.780 Like smoking.

00:33:47.540 Why aren't we encouraging people to lose weight?

00:33:51.200 Why do we ignore nutritionists? 0.87

00:33:54.740 Because the worst thing is going out, you're in a mosh pit, it's dark, it's sweaty, 0.99

00:33:58.300 it's hot in there, and why it's so tight is because there's a couple of fat people there.

00:34:03.360 And it's just like.

00:34:04.600 Where should they be if not?

00:34:05.920 At the club.

00:34:06.980 At the gym.

00:34:07.960 24-hour gyms.

00:34:08.480 So they shouldn't party?

00:34:10.400 You know, honestly.

00:34:11.880 Look, they can party if they want.

00:34:13.460 But they can't do the gym too, lose weight.

00:34:14.160 Remember that.

00:34:14.840 If they want.

00:34:16.060 I mean, if it's going to contribute to them burning calories, go for gold.

00:34:18.880 But their priority should be their health.

00:34:20.480 I'm making a joke.

00:34:21.380 But their priority should be their health.

00:34:22.840 Yeah. 0.99

00:34:23.200 Maybe we should have separate fat parties for fat people, fat beaches for fat people. 1.00

00:34:27.780 Like we have nudist beaches. 0.99

00:34:29.060 No, but I think the better solution is to go to the gym.

00:34:37.880 When I was trying to lose weight, I really didn't go out.

00:34:41.080 I didn't drink.

00:34:41.720 I didn't like spend a lot of time out because I wanted to lose weight.

00:34:45.460 Like that was the priority.

00:34:47.340 I actually stayed at one of a plus size hotel in Antigua.

00:34:51.960 What?

00:34:52.380 And it's called the catamaran.

00:34:56.000 It's called the catamaran.

00:34:57.740 And they actually promote, like, they've got a beach on it.

00:35:01.160 So they promote walking.

00:35:03.580 They made it plus size friendly.

00:35:06.120 If you wanted to exercise, you could.

00:35:09.560 So there are places out there which, yeah, they are for plus size, but they also promote being active.

00:35:15.400 So there are places actually that exist and I've been there.

00:35:19.320 But you know, being overweight more time, it's not even you being active or not.

00:35:23.760 It's what you're eating.

00:35:24.660 You know that, right?

00:35:26.460 Why do people go to doctors and not nutritionists?

00:35:29.720 Because nutritionists don't have the, I guess, validation from society that doctors have.

00:35:35.880 I think that's wrong.

00:35:36.720 For hundreds of years, we've been told to go to doctors.

00:35:39.040 Doctors have been the people you go to for medical issues.

00:35:41.300 That's actually.

00:35:42.000 I think that's quite a new thing.

00:35:43.200 No, that's actually wrong.

00:35:44.360 Correct me then.

00:35:46.140 Sorry.

00:35:46.720 A nutritionist would actually tell you where you're going wrong versus a doctor.

00:35:49.720 That would give you a prescription.

00:35:51.400 A nutritionist is the person that would actually design a program for you.

00:35:55.700 Tell you where your numbers are and know what program is going to be personalized for you to help you lose that weight.

00:36:04.440 Instead of going to a doctor, that would be okay.

00:36:06.860 You're healthy.

00:36:07.580 It's fine.

00:36:07.940 You don't have a health condition.

00:36:10.060 And versus the nutritionist will tell you your statistical.

00:36:13.200 Sorry, just just a quick.

00:36:15.240 Numbers.

00:36:15.900 That's going to help you to improve.

00:36:18.200 That's fine.

00:36:18.680 But you haven't corrected me because that wasn't.

00:36:21.420 Okay.

00:36:21.680 Well, in the case that, you know, in Pia's case, if a doctor tells you that you're, you know, you've got a full bill of health. 0.53

00:36:28.400 Yeah.

00:36:28.760 And not even you, just in general.

00:36:30.680 I'd question the doctor.

00:36:31.480 If he told me that, I'd be like, you need to go back to medical school.

00:36:34.520 So it probably, in the best interest of the body positivity movement, if your doctor's telling you, hey, don't worry, you're still healthy.

00:36:42.380 Yeah.

00:36:42.880 Would you agree with that?

00:36:43.880 Oh, personally, like I can make this about myself.

00:36:46.040 If my doctor told me that I have a full bill of health, I would call someone because I'd be deeply concerned about like his methods because I know that I'm not healthy.

00:36:54.380 Do you think that's happening a lot with doctors then?

00:36:57.080 It depends what you define as a full.

00:36:58.160 A doctor's not going to give you a nutrition program. 1.00

00:37:00.740 Well, full bill of health was, yeah, good blood pressure, cholesterol's down, you know, asthma's okay, whatever you were saying.

00:37:08.820 But, you know, if you're obviously a beast and a doctor say, no, no, it's all good, keep going how you're going.

00:37:14.720 I don't know if doctors do that.

00:37:15.640 I don't think doctors would say that, though.

00:37:18.020 You said it earlier today.

00:37:19.340 My issue, my doctor don't tell me to lose weight.

00:37:22.680 That doesn't mean I shouldn't lose weight.

00:37:24.080 It just means that it wasn't the core issue of my asthma.

00:37:26.740 Like when I was having conversations with them and they were looking at my blood pressure and my cholesterol and things like that, they were like, okay, all good.

00:37:32.220 Don't worry about it.

00:37:32.840 Your vitals are fine.

00:37:33.880 Like these things are okay for now.

00:37:35.860 And I even acknowledge that like a lot of that is probably to do with the fact that I'm young and that when I'm older, it probably won't be as easy.

00:37:41.900 Did you mention your BMI of your visceral fat, water percentage, muscle mass, these things?

00:37:46.960 Yeah, so I didn't have my BMI measured at the doctors, but I have had it measured because they do it when they do your birth control.

00:37:52.380 Sorry, Pearl, for mentioning birth control around you.

00:37:54.860 Ban it.

00:37:55.380 Ban it.

00:37:55.860 But like I have talked about my, and when I talked about my BMI, when I had my birth control done with a nurse, they actually did, the NHS has like healthy plans.

00:38:06.780 And I have like the NHS app, which I've been using to help track my weight loss and things like that, along with like my fitness pal and stuff.

00:38:13.760 But the NHS app, and they also put me on like a little healthy eating thing at the time when I had my birth control because that was when they went into my BMI and things like that.

00:38:20.880 So there are things on the NHS that doctors, and that was a nurse actually that gave me those things.

00:38:25.740 But yeah, there are things available to you.

00:38:27.540 You don't need to see a nutritionist.

00:38:28.380 That's what I'm saying.

00:38:28.980 It's more accessible than...

00:38:30.260 Yeah, but a nutritionist will put together a plan to help you, a program to help you lose weight. 0.95

00:38:35.000 I don't think doctors want you to be healthy.

00:38:37.120 No.

00:38:37.700 They want you to come back to them.

00:38:39.120 Because they make money off of you being unhealthy.

00:38:41.640 Well, the NHS, you think, makes money off of us being unhealthy?

00:38:43.880 We're 100%.

00:38:44.800 What was the whole last three years?

00:38:47.160 And it just makes money by selling medicine to everyone, not just big people, to everyone.

00:38:51.600 That's their business.

00:38:52.340 Yeah, but when 60% of the population's overweight, there's a lot of medicine you can sell.

00:38:56.840 Well, there'd always be a problem.

00:38:59.160 Remember, it's the food that we're eating, the food that's out there, the chemicals that are in the food, the air, whatever, these lines that we see in the air, the foil that we eat from the plastic cup that we drink from.

00:39:10.700 It's true, but at the end of the day, there's always somebody that's accomplished it, even with all of those factors.

00:39:16.640 And yeah, that's why we always encourage people to lose weight.

00:39:19.660 And yeah, we don't say, no, don't lose weight.

00:39:23.660 But like I said, celebrate big people, but also be like, no, that's unhealthy.

00:39:29.080 Yeah, I feel like that's the same point that we've just, we've been repeating the same point, is that like these two things can exist at the same time, you know?

00:39:34.680 Like we can exist and be happy with ourselves and live our lives.

00:39:38.040 And we can also want to be healthier.

00:39:39.440 Especially what I've done is I've incorporated being active in my life.

00:39:44.920 That's what I see.

00:39:46.100 That's my exercise.

00:39:47.240 Actually traveling, doing things, going through new experiences.

00:39:52.340 If I have to climb, I climb.

00:39:54.420 If I have to swim, I swim.

00:39:56.200 That's my way of healthy living, living life.

00:39:58.580 I'm just saying that a lot of people say that, oh, there's struggle and struggles.

00:40:03.100 And I struggle when there are people out here that have the tools to give you what you need to lose weight.

00:40:09.560 But bear with mind.

00:40:10.380 The first people they run to is they run to either doctors or they run to social media.

00:40:14.360 There are people who are qualified to give you the exact information that you need to help you get to where you need to be.

00:40:24.220 They give you the numbers that you need to hear to give you now the motivation and concern to get you to where you need to be.

00:40:32.500 And there are people out there that's qualified to do these things.

00:40:36.120 Instead of seeking information from the wrong people, we need to find the right people to give you that support.

00:40:42.740 There are people out there to give you that.

00:40:44.520 A lot of big people have that want to do this weight that can't and that suffer.

00:40:50.060 They have mobility issues or their ankle or something.

00:40:53.200 It's too late.

00:40:54.620 I know someone.

00:40:55.060 No, there is.

00:40:56.660 No, no, no.

00:40:57.320 No, but they have to eat.

00:40:59.120 They have to do a lot.

00:41:00.260 It's a lot of effort.

00:41:01.220 I know someone with no legs that's jacked. 0.81

00:41:03.960 Yeah, I swear to God.

00:41:05.440 This dude's in better shape than me.

00:41:07.140 Yeah, yeah.

00:41:09.080 Yeah, he moves her. 0.84

00:41:10.180 Yeah, yeah.

00:41:11.160 I'm like, what's that song that I'm like?

00:41:12.400 Nobody has any skills.

00:41:13.920 No legs.

00:41:14.980 They need to use the upper body. 0.74

00:41:16.500 They don't have legs.

00:41:17.460 They need to use literally their whole body or they can't move.

00:41:20.280 So they have no option.

00:41:22.240 So if they're not going to actually push themselves.

00:41:24.600 If you have ankle issues, okay, three personal trainers, ankle issues, what would you do?

00:41:30.000 How would you get them to lose weight?

00:41:32.560 Even our doctor will tell you to lose weight.

00:41:35.080 I would tell them to go on a bike.

00:41:36.460 Yeah, get on a mobility bike, cross train or something easy on your knee.

00:41:39.540 No, but they can't get up more.

00:41:41.800 No, but they can't get up more.

00:41:42.340 No, but they can't get up more.

00:41:43.760 They can't get up one step.

00:41:47.140 They can't get up anything to do with physical.

00:41:49.280 Or if their floor's not leveled, it can affect them.

00:41:52.500 They just gave you an example of someone in a wheelchair getting jacked.

00:41:55.720 A kind of wheelchair has to take an elevator up the stairs, man.

00:41:57.980 It doesn't even have to be exercised, does it?

00:41:59.400 Yeah, that's what I was just going to say.

00:42:00.440 They can just sort out what they're putting in their mouth.

00:42:01.100 It's diet.

00:42:01.940 Because if you have ankle problem, doesn't even have anything to do with physical,

00:42:05.080 especially if it's from a weight problem.

00:42:06.800 It's just diet.

00:42:07.520 But you have to diet, though, to lose weight.

00:42:09.060 There are means and ways.

00:42:10.320 Alex, I think I remember you saying that you're an MS warrior.

00:42:13.900 Yeah.

00:42:14.260 There are circumstances that can be overcome, really difficult ones,

00:42:18.640 that are far more profound, I would say, than me personally just getting fat

00:42:25.340 because of poor habits.

00:42:26.540 It's not enough for me to just be in bed and saying, oh, I've had a hard life.

00:42:29.720 But what about when the problems affect other people?

00:42:34.160 Like health problems, like when you can't do things with your kids.

00:42:37.300 Yeah, 100%.

00:42:38.060 When your family has to take care of you because you're sick.

00:42:41.540 But people don't see that far, you know?

00:42:43.700 It's sad.

00:42:44.360 The city comfort now, but you don't see that far.

00:42:47.400 I don't think anybody is advocating for that, though.

00:42:49.400 I think that's very sad, yeah.

00:42:51.060 It's sad, but how do you stop from getting there?

00:42:53.020 Do you lean into body positivity or do you go the other way and take charge of your mind?

00:42:55.900 Thank you very much.

00:42:56.580 It depends on whatever benefits you as a person.

00:42:58.960 But see, that's the problem right there.

00:43:02.280 It's about that's what benefits me.

00:43:04.740 And that's the problem with body positivity.

00:43:06.840 It's about me, me, me, me, me.

00:43:08.380 It's about the way I feel.

00:43:09.800 It's about what I want to do.

00:43:12.660 I don't care what I look like to the beach to everyone else.

00:43:15.440 I want to feel good.

00:43:16.640 Like it's all about me and nobody else.

00:43:19.900 What I meant in that context was it's what you respond to.

00:43:23.160 So if you as a person respond to the body positivity moment,

00:43:25.880 for me personally, feeling good about myself

00:43:28.540 is the thing that makes me want to lose weight.

00:43:29.680 When I like myself, I treat myself better.

00:43:31.520 I eat better.

00:43:32.700 I'm more likely to get on better with my friends.

00:43:34.760 But I just think if that was true, you wouldn't be overweight.

00:43:39.740 I know you've lost 10 pounds, but 10 pounds comes and goes.

00:43:42.800 I haven't always felt like that.

00:43:44.440 And you can feel a certain way, but the results speak for themselves.

00:43:47.720 But I didn't like myself when I was skinny.

00:43:50.620 I didn't like it.

00:43:51.600 It's not about like, I love myself.

00:43:54.360 I love myself.

00:43:54.840 I love myself.

00:43:55.400 It's what you respond to in terms of if positivity is what motivates you.

00:43:59.880 Great.

00:44:00.380 I got to a point where I was like, okay, I need to think positively about this.

00:44:03.040 I need to help myself.

00:44:03.600 I'm saying let's look at results.

00:44:07.280 Let's look at the results of body positivity.

00:44:10.220 And we see the women that lead it get worse and worse every year. 1.00

00:44:15.980 But I would argue that the people that you're giving as an example as leading it,

00:44:20.000 I don't agree with what they do.

00:44:21.000 I don't agree with what Tess Holliday does. 0.50

00:44:22.220 I don't agree.

00:44:23.220 But for me personally, I respond better to positive influence, to positive. 0.99

00:44:27.280 If I had a personal trainer that was like, you fat bitch, lose weight, I wouldn't go back. 1.00

00:44:31.260 If I had a personal trainer that was like, you're doing so great. 1.00

00:44:33.160 This is fantastic.

00:44:33.900 You've lost two pounds.

00:44:34.960 Like I'd go back, you know, and it depends what you respond to.

00:44:37.980 And I think if I see that as a result, like if I saw those results for you,

00:44:43.240 like I might think more of it, but it's just tough because you're saying body positivity is such a good thing

00:44:48.760 and you're a plus size model, but your results are you're still overweight.

00:44:52.520 I mean, I'm in the process of that, but I haven't always been in favor of body positivity, point blank, I would say.

00:44:58.340 I was more about body neutrality, which is basically just not caring and just doing whatever.

00:45:04.960 And that was how I felt for a long time.

00:45:06.160 Right, but body neutrality is selfish because everybody else has to deal with your poor decisions.

00:45:11.300 Even if you're just neutral, like liking the way you look and say, I'm going to accept myself as is.

00:45:16.800 Everybody else has to deal with your decisions because either you're going to have health issues

00:45:20.320 and the taxpayers have to deal with it.

00:45:22.580 The doctors have to deal with it.

00:45:24.220 Your family has to take care of you.

00:45:26.140 And it's not fair to everyone else around you, even on planes, like it's not fair to the people next to you

00:45:32.440 who didn't make that decision.

00:45:33.640 And now, you know, you're invading their space.

00:45:36.280 Again, I can't speak for those people because that's not my issue.

00:45:38.920 I've never not fit in a plane seat.

00:45:40.540 I've never had a health issue because of my weight specifically.

00:45:43.480 I've never been in that situation.

00:45:44.860 I'm not talking about the movement in general.

00:45:46.340 Yeah, but I'm saying like being content in general is selfish because everybody else has to deal with the issues.

00:45:53.040 But being content with yourself doesn't mean that you shouldn't want to be better.

00:45:56.660 It just means that you shouldn't hate yourself.

00:45:57.720 What else is content?

00:46:00.240 Content is happy as is.

00:46:02.040 I think it just means that you shouldn't hate yourself.

00:46:04.260 If I'm content with my money, I'm not going to make more money.

00:46:07.420 If I'm discontent with my money, then I'm going to make more money.

00:46:09.960 I think that's a great example.

00:46:10.820 I'm very content with the amount of money I make.

00:46:12.940 Would I like to still make more?

00:46:14.200 Fantastic.

00:46:14.700 Yeah, I would.

00:46:15.420 But you're not going to take steps to make more money if you're content with the amount of money in general.

00:46:20.200 We're getting into semantics though, aren't we?

00:46:21.720 If we're using the word content, like I agree with you, like being content that you are, you're stationary, you're happy, no more progress.

00:46:30.080 But I think the point here is that you can enjoy your day.

00:46:33.820 You can go to the beach with your friends if you want to and actually enjoy a day on the beach with your friends without the fact that you are maybe not your healthiest weight or not your best shape and allowing that to taint your day.

00:46:45.960 Even at the beach, like it's going to taint your day.

00:46:48.560 Whether anyone says anything to you or not, it's going to taint your day.

00:46:51.500 You're not going to be able to do the same things your in-shape friends are going to do.

00:46:56.200 There's no way you guys are going to have the same mobility as the trainers here.

00:47:01.740 If you guys go surfing, if you go tubing, like you're not going to be able to do the same thing.

00:47:05.820 I can't do the taint, but I can do a lot of other things.

00:47:08.620 So while it might not affect you now, it might be you're young, maybe it'll affect you later, but at some point life is going to hit you.

00:47:17.000 And that's why I promote eating healthy and actually trying your best to actually be healthy.

00:47:22.280 I'm not talking about you, I'm talking about the movement in general.

00:47:25.000 I think that's the thing, it's different, it's people different, it's like different people see different narratives.

00:47:31.240 It depends what you're reading, what you're seeing.

00:47:33.500 And with a lot of things, there's a lot of confusion.

00:47:36.380 It's like people just want to confuse you and they want people to have discussions like this and they want people to fight.

00:47:42.380 But really, if you speak to real people, you get real opinions.

00:47:46.160 That's how it is.

00:47:46.880 I think it's simple. 0.75

00:47:48.480 I think it's, if you're fat, you're unhealthy.

00:47:51.040 If you're not fat, you're healthy.

00:47:52.960 It should be as simple as that, really.

00:47:54.760 They shouldn't be like, oh, it's confusing.

00:47:57.480 You know, there's going to be people, like I said, there's a small amount, small percentage of people that, you know, probably do have conditions and whatnot.

00:48:04.380 But at the end of the day, if you're fat, you can acknowledge that you're unhealthy and you've all agreed that you want to better yourself and start eating healthier, whether it's training as well.

00:48:14.640 So, I mean, yeah, you can keep trying to individualize it.

00:48:18.060 But at the end of the day, it's very, it's night and day.

00:48:20.400 And it's also, you need to see where a lot of people are obese.

00:48:24.300 It's the poor areas.

00:48:26.000 If you look at obesity rates, it's the poor areas.

00:48:28.920 And what are they in poor areas?

00:48:31.880 Not great shops for food.

00:48:33.640 It's all cheap stuff.

00:48:34.920 It's not good for you.

00:48:36.480 Are you saying the obesity rates are higher in, like, third world countries?

00:48:41.640 Not third world countries, but just generally.

00:48:43.640 For example, I'm just thinking if your premise is true, if we're going to say it's about wealth, then I would imagine we would see in poorer countries, they would be fatter than in richer countries.

00:48:57.160 Okay, for example, in England, there's Iceland's, it's like a pound a meal.

00:49:03.660 You can get a pound ready meal.

00:49:05.140 You can get nuggets and chips.

00:49:07.320 I know homeless people with abs, I'm just saying.

00:49:09.180 I need you to answer my initial question, though.

00:49:11.320 So, in third world countries, they're fatter than in the Western countries? 1.00

00:49:16.240 In, there are places.

00:49:17.400 There's Fiji.

00:49:17.960 No, in general.

00:49:19.280 I know homeless people with abs.

00:49:23.480 There are places in the world where it is poor and they're big.

00:49:27.680 No.

00:49:28.040 Is it on average?

00:49:30.180 People in poorer countries.

00:49:31.480 Oh, not on average, no.

00:49:32.780 It's in the UK, the Western side.

00:49:34.620 Correct.

00:49:35.100 So, I'm saying, I don't think it's a wealth thing.

00:49:36.960 Okay, yeah.

00:49:37.460 I think it's a poor, like, we're the fattest in America, you know.

00:49:41.900 But then within America, what groups of people, just to get deeper on that point, I don't know if I really have an opinion or a strong one on this,

00:49:48.760 but within America, or even if we take London, are we saying then that the poorer people within those places are more likely to be unhealthy, obese, than the richer people?

00:49:59.260 I think it's easier for them to get obese.

00:50:02.280 Why?

00:50:02.720 If you're living on, like, a minimum wage income and you've got to go get fast food all the time, yeah, that's probably the case in America.

00:50:09.520 But there's a large portion of the population in America without that.

00:50:13.520 30, according to the CDC, 38 states plus Puerto Rico have obesity rates above 30%.

00:50:20.400 The 10 states and territories with the lowest obesity rates are District of Columbia, Hawaii, Colorado, Massachusetts, California, Florida, New Jersey, Washington, Vermont, and New York.

00:50:31.640 Sounds like a choice then.

00:50:33.160 Yeah.

00:50:33.340 We have to overlay that with, like, I don't know, income per household?

00:50:37.680 Colorado's low obesity rate can be attributed to culture and lifestyle.

00:50:42.520 Many residents enjoy outdoor activities such as hiking as well as be conscious of eating whole nutrient-dense foods for their own well-being.

00:50:52.620 This is surprising to me.

00:50:53.760 West Virginia is the most obese state with an obesity rate of 40%.

00:50:58.760 West Virginia also has type 2 diabetes at 15.7.

00:51:08.300 Wow.

00:51:08.780 15.7% of West Virginia has type 2 diabetes.

00:51:13.360 Can I ask, when would be the point of, okay, I've got to make a change?

00:51:18.060 When you have a health problem and when, like, for example, I, when I thought that I'm pre-diabetic, I instantly started, literally, I consciously was like, no, I'm not going to eat no crisps, I'm not going to eat no chocolate, no, I'm going to get diabetes and I'm going to mess my life up.

00:51:38.460 So I reversed it and I started drinking more water so that anything bad flushes out, started having vinegar and water, just doing random things.

00:51:49.480 So when you get told, if you keep going this way, you might die, that's when you're going to make a switch.

00:51:54.100 I just listened to you and I felt moved.

00:51:56.680 I think that's when I took it seriously, when I was told by the doctor.

00:52:00.920 And that's a part of me being active, basically, because I don't want to have high blood pressure.

00:52:06.700 I don't want to have diabetes.

00:52:08.220 So it's because I can't see him at the back.

00:52:09.960 I feel like I can't, I don't.

00:52:11.280 I know, I was thinking, I wish we sat him there.

00:52:13.340 I can't see him.

00:52:14.420 If that was promoted on social media, like this, you would be a happier place.

00:52:18.820 For me, it was when I couldn't go down a slide.

00:52:21.620 I was at, like, an amusement thing and I couldn't go down a slide that my friends went down.

00:52:26.740 And that was really embarrassing for me.

00:52:28.260 Like, I was like, oh, like, I am not the average person anymore.

00:52:33.600 And that was a moment at which I was like, oh, I want to be able to do these things.

00:52:37.500 And so, and I made a video because I knew that that would hold me accountable on my social media.

00:52:42.000 Well, I also think that it's a negative consequence, which kind of, it kind of, you might not call it bullying,

00:52:47.380 but that's, that's a negative consequence.

00:52:48.840 And it seemed to have worked because now you're trying to lose weight.

00:52:51.380 It's not from a person, though.

00:52:52.900 And it doesn't mean I don't like myself.

00:52:54.940 I just was like, oh, that's a wake-up call for me.

00:52:57.100 Yeah, it's a wake-up call.

00:52:58.660 And that's why I was saying sometimes bullying is a wake-up call.

00:53:01.980 I don't think bullying is ever a thing.

00:53:02.920 That amusement park owner was bullying you.

00:53:05.560 No, he wasn't.

00:53:06.980 It was a safety thing.

00:53:08.420 That's a different thing.

00:53:09.480 I'm going to.

JustPearlyThings - August 03, 2023

HEATED DEBATE on Body Positivity

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