Heated Debate on Cheating and Divorce
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
187.46304
Summary
In this episode, we discuss the benefits of not going to school, why women should go to school and why it s a bad idea. We also talk about cheating, sex and sex education in general. We hope you enjoy this episode!
Transcript
00:00:00.920
Because I think like she's in a position she can be selective.
00:00:03.760
But if you have kids, yeah, I think it's selfish.
00:00:06.100
I think like once you have kids, it's not about you anymore.
00:00:08.220
But like before you have kids, like before you have kids, yeah, you can if you if what
00:00:12.800
if someone that's faithful is a priority to you and you don't have kids involved, yeah,
00:00:20.320
I know the man of fear says like all guys cheat, whatever.
00:00:22.260
But I know a lot of good dudes that won't cheat on you.
00:00:25.000
I think people say all men cheat because that's what they know.
00:00:30.860
But that doesn't mean that all men on the planet cheat.
00:00:34.180
And also in the media, we hear a lot more stories of guys who cheat than guys who don't.
00:00:40.360
So then we have this like distorted idea that all men cheat.
00:00:45.160
And then because that's what a woman believes, that's what she's going to attract.
00:01:27.940
So my question is why do we have these classes coming up when we don't have finishing schools
00:01:38.060
So actually, you know what, that's more of a statement.
00:01:45.680
But I'm going to ask you, guys, would you send your girl to that?
00:01:55.400
But I've never had sex with a sack of potatoes.
00:02:20.640
But it's a bit shocking to think they have to learn it.
00:02:34.380
It's the fact that, like, you've got an instructor telling you how to break your back out for your partner.
00:02:47.320
But if my girl was going to a class like that, I wouldn't have no complaints about it.
00:02:58.660
There's that difference between a modern woman and women that was before, like, now.
00:03:07.840
Everything is in your face to say this is what you have to do.
00:03:12.300
Would I do it as a woman, as a 36-year-old woman?
00:03:18.180
Because I probably look like, you know, an idiot.
00:03:22.320
But in order to do that, some people will look at it as, oh, I can make money to make sure I can let other women feel this is the way you're meant to be as a woman.
00:03:30.680
So, I also think it's a reflection of what we as women think is valuable to a man nowadays.
00:03:38.880
Like, we think that our value, a lot of it comes from sex and being attractive.
00:03:44.700
And that goes back to why this is happening, going viral and not finishing school.
00:03:49.500
Because we've got this perception that guys primarily like us or our only value to get a guy to commit comes from are we good in bed and are we attractive enough?
00:04:03.180
When, at least in my opinion, quality men don't value that as, don't value that as much as a girl who goes to, you know, finishing school and knows how to play the role of the feminine in a relationship.
00:04:16.340
Well, because to guys like that, like, there's a million girls that can do that.
00:04:22.780
What's interesting to me is the number of people in the class.
00:04:26.400
Like, they've got some really good marketing going on there.
00:04:33.720
Like, what is, is, I mean, that guy there, don't look, doesn't, he doesn't look like he should be in that class.
00:04:43.020
But do you think it's more embarrassing for the woman or the man?
00:04:45.960
Because you never know, can the man be feeling embarrassed in that video right now?
00:04:54.820
I think it's more embarrassing for the woman, but she doesn't know it.
00:05:08.140
And, like, if you want to have a family someday, like, that's going to be on the internet forever.
00:05:11.800
And so, even if you don't have kids now, if you want to have kids someday, like, that's your mom.
00:05:17.420
Like, do you, do you as a man, like, want that to be a girl?
00:05:20.540
But, for example, if that was a future husband that you found and he was beneath that woman, would you feel weight?
00:05:29.900
I mean, I wouldn't, do I want the guy I married to be under, like, no.
00:05:35.700
But I don't think it holds the same weight because I just think men and women are different.
00:05:39.860
And so, like, to me, it's like, oh, I mean, he's probably young and just, you know, on wild shit.
00:05:44.520
But in relation to that argument, it's like, yo, you were under this beautiful woman, but at the same time, you were just there in a class in front of a whole bunch of people.
00:06:05.980
Are they doing it for their husbands, their partners?
00:06:10.320
Well, I don't think they're doing it for fitness and aerobics.
00:06:15.460
Like, people need this logical reason to, like, justify why they do things.
00:06:20.180
If they wanted to get fit, they would go to the gym, lift some weights, do some cardio.
00:06:25.160
So, I do think that they're doing this because they want to get better at sex.
00:06:32.160
Like, if you want to put in the effort to be better in bed for your man, then amazing.
00:06:36.900
But, it's more so, what does it show when women value this over working on their substance?
00:06:44.840
Do you think most women know how to keep a man outside of sex?
00:06:52.840
What do you guys think in your experience dating?
00:06:56.520
I was looking around the room, like, yeah, yeah, cool, cool.
00:07:13.480
Because I feel like they're trying to compete with us.
00:07:22.660
Do you think more women are trying to be like men, with the masculinity?
00:07:26.940
I think what Hannah said is really on the money, like, being of substance is really important
00:07:35.580
And, a lot of women don't have that substance, but they have good looks, good physiques, etc.
00:07:45.020
Because that's, in essence, what men look for, isn't it?
00:07:49.040
And, to bounce off your point, I feel like what men look for is that substance, but what
00:07:59.760
I want a man with a nice car, a nice house, a nice this, a nice that.
00:08:03.720
You've got to earn six figures, all the money in a bank, the longest long since King Kong.
00:08:13.320
But, if I walk up and be like, yo, I was a pastry chef and I know how to make every food
00:08:19.160
underneath the sun, that substance, in terms of its value, is worthless if I don't have
00:08:30.500
So, you're expecting, oh, you're a chef, so you should take me to Nobu or that meal for
00:08:40.180
And you can do those things, but it's about having the woman having the substance to be
00:08:47.320
Because a lot of women will have good looks and they'll attract a high quality man that
00:08:56.040
And you can only sustain it if you have substance underneath of the good looks that you already
00:09:00.960
So, I'm curious, you said you're in a relationship or you're married?
00:09:05.520
What stood out about your girlfriend from the other girls you were seeing?
00:09:20.940
And I think those qualities are extremely rare.
00:09:26.040
So, I also, I, so I was talking to my boyfriend about this and something that he said was when
00:09:33.700
we were first talking and like flirting, he said to me, if you couldn't use your, what's
00:09:40.600
between your legs and your hands, what would you use to keep me interested?
00:09:46.840
And I, I said my brain and he was like, oh, that's a great answer because most women would
00:09:53.460
And that's a big reason why he said like, he continued to be interested in me because
00:09:59.060
we have that intellectually like stimulating conversations.
00:10:02.580
And when, like with a woman, it's not about being super academically smart.
00:10:08.460
Like you don't have to be a doctor or a lawyer.
00:10:10.520
It's more about having things going on for yourself and working on your personal growth.
00:10:15.060
That's where that intellectual element comes from.
00:10:18.180
Do men care if you work on your personal growth?
00:10:25.840
Cause I hear so many guys, I just hear so many guys say, we don't care what you do.
00:10:30.140
It's not about, it's not about what you do, but it's who you're being.
00:10:33.380
So it's how you're behaving in various environments.
00:10:36.200
You asked me, you know, what stood out for me about my missus is that she gets on with
00:10:45.840
So that's, that's those little cues that's, that stand out.
00:10:52.000
Um, would you, is there such thing as a girl that's too broke to date?
00:11:06.520
No, cause I know, if you're watching, talk about you.
00:11:11.420
Um, yeah, I know a girl who is financially broke.
00:11:15.840
Um, but every time we link up to like, have a chat called good friends, known each other
00:11:20.820
for years and she's got me employment, um, out of our relationship.
00:11:25.120
But, um, yeah, she's always in a new relationship with the next man.
00:11:28.700
Um, recently got in a relationship five days in.
00:11:36.660
It's not the financial brokenness can sometimes interlink with if they're being, if they're
00:11:43.780
Like if they've been financially broke for a long period of time and they don't have
00:11:47.400
mental stimulation and they don't have drive and they don't have ambition and they don't
00:11:51.460
have, uh, relational skills, et cetera, that's where it becomes a problem.
00:11:56.080
But if they have all of those skills, relational skills, et cetera, understanding patients and
00:12:00.060
so on, but they're financially broke, then men don't really care about that.
00:12:04.860
It's insane that I would say, um, she is what I would consider someone who is definitely
00:12:10.520
wipeable because she's all in her feminine energy.
00:12:13.140
But at the same time, she's very, um, masculine in it, in the sense of she will get shit done
00:12:22.320
Why do you think there's so many women that are in their masculine energy nowadays?
00:12:27.440
It's, uh, I think more and more women have been told that in order for them to get credit,
00:12:39.740
And so when women pursue that, they tend to be in their masculine energy a lot.
00:12:45.160
And being a stay at home wife or raising a family, it doesn't, it's not seen as, as valuable.
00:12:53.200
But I would argue and say, and to some point I agree with you, but argue and say like, if
00:12:59.300
women are, uh, single parents, um, and had to raise their children by themselves, they're
00:13:06.740
looked upon as masculine as well, but they're being at home, raising the family and to some
00:13:13.540
of thought of their, of their own or not of their own, like the, the father of their
00:13:18.400
children is not there, but they still have to raise the children, but they are willing
00:13:24.060
Um, but they looked upon as being masculine because they're saying, well, you're a single
00:13:27.560
parent and you're a single parent for a reason.
00:13:29.500
So I feel sometimes as a female, regardless of what role we play, it's sometimes hard to
00:13:38.220
Do we go down the feminine route or do we have to go down sometimes the masculine route?
00:13:42.040
It's going to be both though, like femininity and masculinity, it's all contextual and it's
00:13:48.620
So for me personally in business, I show up as pretty masculine, like, you know, the very
00:13:58.820
And that's because I had to unlearn a lot of the social programming that told me that my
00:14:06.540
And I had to relearn like what men really want in a relationship, which is they want
00:14:12.740
a woman to make them feel appreciated, supported.
00:14:15.480
They want a woman to like bring out his masculine even more and play the feminine role.
00:14:24.120
If you just wanted to go home and you work maybe part time, if you can't afford to do it.
00:14:28.820
And then everyone just looks down on you on that.
00:14:35.940
That's my friend, Ali, I was telling you guys before the show, she went viral for just
00:14:52.800
And like all the, all the comments were basically saying, how could you trust him?
00:14:56.660
Like, well, he could just leave you high and drive, but it's like everything you do has
00:15:07.560
I think what we're talking about here with what you said, Levine and what you said, Hannah
00:15:11.980
So it's being able to switch on and switch off and apply yourself effectively in different
00:15:16.440
situations and scenarios, whether it's masculine and you're feminine.
00:15:20.540
And just understanding the two and then when to play which role accordingly.
00:15:24.880
And sometimes I feel men struggle with that as well.
00:15:32.280
Men do want to feel like they are the man and they want to feel wanted and they want to
00:15:38.740
But sometimes there are some men, if they've never been shown that as a young person or a
00:15:44.820
child, they won't know how to do that as an adult.
00:15:47.540
And sometimes as a woman, we can be patient and like, I can show you that.
00:15:51.040
But if they're not willing to receive that love from, it's very hard.
00:15:56.260
Relationships are just a thing that are not a lot of people taught.
00:15:59.060
And because people don't do the self-development work on themselves, they expect something
00:16:03.200
else, somebody else outside of them to validate who they are and what they do.
00:16:06.640
Whereas they don't have that internal self-belief, that internal validation, which is, which
00:16:12.420
In saying that as well, I feel like, based on the solely of personal experience, right?
00:16:21.240
So throughout my whole secondary school year, I had glasses on.
00:16:26.360
So I didn't really have the confidence to be like, to approach women in that sort of way
00:16:31.840
Because, and then the moment I turned 19, got laser eye surgery, lost my glasses, hit
00:16:43.400
And then I realised, I was like, yo, I'm kind of, I'm kind of a spice right now.
00:16:50.160
And then I went to uni and then I lost my virginity when I was at uni.
00:16:54.380
And then that just opened up a whole new doors of experience that I didn't experience before.
00:16:58.860
So, when it comes to the younger men coming up nowadays, I feel like, yeah, they have
00:17:08.760
Well, how are they supposed to be taught about women if like, I want to say, aren't half
00:17:13.000
of people raised by single mothers or like a third?
00:17:20.440
When it came to asking my dad about for stuff like, hey, dad, you know what I mean?
00:17:26.000
How does it do to, you know, do certain sexual activities with a woman?
00:17:41.760
Well, women have been encouraged to go off and be independent on their own.
00:17:46.960
And if their meaning was to, you know, find a husband, have children, look after children,
00:17:53.440
and then men were to get a job, find a wife, and then provide for them.
00:18:05.900
What percent of women would you say want to be wives?
00:18:09.280
And what percent of women would you say are wives?
00:18:31.040
So I'm going to say about 80% want to be wives.
00:18:41.940
I think a lot of women want to be wives, but they don't have the substance or the skills
00:18:45.500
to actually support the lifestyle of the person that they would ideally like to be with.
00:18:51.760
So then they end up with somebody that is not fully compatible with, and they go,
00:18:58.860
And we have our ups and downs, and they have those sorts of tumultuous relationships that
00:19:05.220
But most women don't have the skill sets to be wives to the men that they aspire to be with.
00:19:18.060
I think communication is one of the most powerful ones because a lot of women have, in my experience
00:19:25.200
at least, have a lot of self-doubt, and they don't know how to be supportive to somebody
00:19:31.560
They don't know how to communicate powerfully with somebody else in a way that helps their
00:19:36.680
relationship to grow, helps their relationship to flourish, and helps their relationship to
00:19:44.160
Because I find them to be more narcissistic than ever.
00:19:50.360
Because it's like an external narcissism, but an internal, I don't feel good about this.
00:19:59.800
I'll just, like, even at Carnival, I was asking, like, rate yourself one to ten, and they would
00:20:06.200
And then I'd ask, I'd say, well, aren't you perfect?
00:20:12.520
But isn't it kind of narcissistic to think you're special?
00:20:17.800
Like, it's been proven in psychology that everyone thinks they're above average.
00:20:22.420
I think they like to fib a lot, to not hurt everyone's feelings.
00:20:29.620
And then this year, I've just started getting back into the dating game.
00:20:33.420
But the ones who did text back all said the same thing.
00:20:44.000
That bandwagon, and to say, Hannah, you say everyone thinks they're above average.
00:20:48.700
When I rate myself, I fully give myself a five.
00:20:53.160
Because I don't feel like I'm better than anyone.
00:20:55.640
And I don't feel like anyone should be better than me.
00:21:01.960
You're saying, no, you're definitely more than a four, bro.
00:21:04.380
Also, like, when it comes to rating, what criteria are we using?
00:21:09.740
Like, are we using a scale of one to ten in terms of how good we are as a partner or how
00:21:24.880
Cool, I got high, but I'm scrawny in comparison to most people I interact with, right?
00:21:42.100
So, I don't actually think you answered what percent of women do you think are wives?
00:21:47.200
What percent want to be wives and what percent are?
00:21:51.940
I think 100% of women want to be wives with contingencies.
00:21:56.340
You think the girls in those videos want to be wives?
00:21:59.980
With the contingencies in the sense of, you've won me 10 grand a month.
00:22:10.400
So, like, what percent of women actually want to be wives?
00:22:14.160
Like, actually want to be a wife with what it comes with.
00:22:50.880
I just, I can't, you can't be doing this shit and want to be a wife.
00:22:58.200
like, and you look at girls' Instagrams and like,
00:23:04.480
But at the same time, I'm still sticking in like,
00:23:19.360
But I'm still like, I'm getting closer to the fence.
00:23:28.080
I mean, I've been growing up on Christian values.
00:23:32.820
Like, so just to be clear, are you asking what percentage of women like want to be wives
00:23:37.140
in the sense that they want to be stay at home full time?
00:23:48.480
And so whether, like, some girls are wives in the fact they're more like executive assistant
00:23:54.760
Some girls are wives in the fact, you know, they're stay at home mom type wives.
00:23:59.960
Some do the, you know, like, they both get a job, you know, and just, but the key is that
00:24:07.900
Oh, I think around 40, 40% of women want that or actively know they want that because
00:24:15.600
most women think that submission is a bad thing.
00:24:18.820
They think that they, they, they want to be empowered and they think that submission means
00:24:25.140
So I think only 40% of women have that awareness to realize that like, it's not a bad thing.
00:24:39.600
Because nowadays, most women, like a, most women have this, oh, I'm a strong independent
00:24:48.340
woman vibe where they tell themselves they don't even want a relationship in the first
00:24:52.860
place, or they want to focus on their careers of the women who want to be in relationships.
00:24:58.140
They still think that submission or femininity is backwards or a bad thing.
00:25:03.040
So I think only 10% of women actively want that.
00:25:11.460
Like women that, that want to be the boss, they want to be the leader, they want to be
00:25:16.340
more career driven, et cetera, and less sort of alluding to wanting to be wives are like
00:25:21.740
London has that in abundance, whereas more like outside the countryside, it's a little
00:25:33.740
I would say about 45% are wanting to be married, but not in that status.
00:25:42.260
And the rest are not interested of being married simply because that divide between being the
00:25:52.480
And some women probably prefer to be the side chick because they feel like, well, I can
00:26:02.180
I don't have to do all the other bits that come into a relationship.
00:26:05.580
And it's not because they devalue themselves, but they feel like maybe some insecurities in
00:26:12.660
themselves where they feel that they are not enough to be a wife.
00:26:15.220
So they'll settle for second best when they feel like I can still have the man I want
00:26:20.140
in my kind of head, but just have it on that kind of tip.
00:26:32.000
They think it would happen for some of them, which is a harsh truth, but it's the reality
00:26:38.820
And I think because of maybe ongoing heartbreaks or putting their heart and soul into someone
00:26:46.160
that they thought they could trust and build and just constantly being put down or putting
00:26:51.380
themselves down, they just think, you know, it is what it is.
00:26:55.960
And that's how some women have come in reality in society.
00:27:01.900
Do you guys think we'll ever see the pendulum swing back where instead of sex schools, we'll
00:27:16.660
We're starting wife school on a second channel.
00:27:23.120
The way society is moving, it's making, if we look at the trend, more and more men are
00:27:29.780
being feminized in the sense that they're encouraged to talk about their emotions freely and they're
00:27:36.940
encouraged to cross-dress and wear pink and try different clothes and women more and more
00:27:49.700
As a test to that theory, I text one of my good friends, female friends, right?
00:27:54.640
To be fair, it was an experiment and it was an actual call for help, right?
00:28:02.380
Because I was like, I just lost one of my greatest grand aunties, one of my best aunties, but it's
00:28:09.380
technically grand auntie, however you work the family system, right?
00:28:12.480
She passed away and I hit her up like, hey, listen, I need to just cry for a minute, have
00:28:26.280
Not in a sense, not in a sexual sense, but in a sense of I can't cry to my mom because
00:28:42.840
Well, I wouldn't do it until a girl I was seeing.
00:28:52.680
But at the same time, in the back of my head, it was a social experiment because I kind of
00:28:57.340
knew she wasn't going to hit me up and be like, yeah, come around, cry for a little
00:29:02.240
bit and then we'll smoke up and then all blessings.
00:29:08.060
Like, it kind of hit me and I was like, this is maybe, have I grown up wrong in the sense
00:29:14.400
of I as a man, I'm not supposed to show emotion or women are supposed to receive the emotion
00:29:22.980
People feel that because you're a man, you can't show your emotions.
00:29:27.080
That's why there's a lot of people that do suffer with MH right now because they're
00:29:32.160
not able to express or they're not being taught to express because especially emotions
00:29:39.840
But the thing is, like, women aren't meant to handle men's emotions.
00:29:43.320
Women are not meant to, but you can be, you can teach yourself to.
00:29:52.360
Like, there's study after study after study that's going to tell you that women lose
00:29:57.980
This isn't, like, a fun part of female nature, but they lose respect for men after we've seen
00:30:02.820
And a lot of girls will say they haven't looked at the guy the same.
00:30:05.860
And, like, you know, I could be, like, dishonest and come and say, oh, yeah, like, it's perfectly
00:30:11.600
okay to express your emotions, but it's just not.
00:30:14.340
Like, for a man to express his emotions to, I'm not saying, like, you can't ever show any,
00:30:20.320
but, like, if you want to cry in front of your girl, is that a good bet?
00:30:24.460
So, would you look at a man differently if a man cries in front of you?
00:30:29.180
I would say my dad is one of the people that I respect more than anyone in the world.
00:30:33.400
Like, I listen to, like, pretty much whatever he tells me most of the time.
00:30:38.760
But, and I would say one of the reasons I respect him is he's just always been very in
00:30:45.560
I can count, I've seen my dad cry maybe once at his mom's, when his mom died, and that's
00:30:51.480
it, and I just think, like, that level of respect wouldn't happen if he was crying once
00:31:00.260
There is exceptions to when they're allowed to cry.
00:31:06.460
But it's, like, I just think as a girl, you trust men more when they're in control of their
00:31:11.480
Because if I feel like I'm more, like, you're more emotional than me, it's, like, it's a
00:31:22.460
And I'm not saying a man should cry every month.
00:31:25.520
Same way a woman shouldn't cry every month if there's nothing to cry about.
00:31:29.820
But the way I look at it with your emotions, like, if something severe happens, some men do
00:31:41.380
Because you're still human at the end of the day.
00:31:44.480
Well, I think the problem, though, is it's very confusing to men because we don't even
00:31:52.040
Like, you don't know exactly, like, this is the line where I start to lose respect for
00:31:56.780
I couldn't tell you at what point, like, this is, like, I don't think, I don't, if
00:32:00.740
a dude, like, lost his mother, am I going to, you know, judge him for crying?
00:32:04.700
No, but I don't know what point you, but I know there's a point.
00:32:10.360
It's about being able to control your emotions without suppressing them, isn't it?
00:32:15.140
So it's like, okay, I'm feeling, I'm feeling this way because of X and these are the things
00:32:19.580
that I can do to solve it rather than, oh, I'm feeling this way, so I'm just going to
00:32:24.560
It's like having a solution-oriented mindset is what men want and what women also look
00:32:31.460
for in a man as well, is being able to lead, being able to be decisive, being able to.
00:32:36.900
So it's just to add on to your point, hence, that's, hence why I didn't go to like a family
00:32:42.900
member or like someone, someone who was also sharing the same emotion I was, because at
00:32:49.220
the same time, like people who are going to watch this later one would be like, yo, that's
00:32:54.720
the backbone, that's the backbone of the family right there.
00:32:57.840
So for me to show emotion and to cry, I better be all the way in flipping Norway.
00:33:05.060
I don't think it's a fun part of female nature.
00:33:08.100
Like, I don't think this is a very flattering part of ourselves, but it just, you know, it
00:33:13.280
And I, and I'm from a, my, my family, all the head of the family are female.
00:33:22.600
Do you feel like the family, like looks up to you to lead?
00:33:28.480
If not nine times out of 10, if there's a family barbecue, I'm the, I'm the chef.
00:33:35.940
Comes to Christmas, Ash, run, do this X, Y, Z, one, two, and three.
00:33:41.680
I'm getting it done because that's what it's expected of a man to get shit done.
00:33:48.540
So when it comes to family, yeah, I am the head of my house.
00:33:52.600
Even, even if the, even if I am the uncle of my nephew's children, you can call me granddad.
00:34:01.600
It's all good because I've been granddad for miles 14 because of my personality and nature
00:34:11.260
Hannah, so you mentioned you talk about submission on your TikTok account.
00:34:22.820
They'll say something like, this is misogyny or standing what submission is in the context
00:34:30.940
They, they think submission and they think, oh, being a slave or lowering yourself for
00:34:36.860
a man or being at his beck and call or having no opinions.
00:34:41.140
When submission in a relationship isn't about that at all.
00:34:44.740
It really means that you're just trusting a man's leadership and that you respect him
00:34:49.020
to the point where even when you have disagreements, you're not nagging, you're not shouting at him,
00:34:55.500
So when women understand that and the word in itself submissive, it's so, it triggers people.
00:35:03.300
So I know you said, um, you mentioned deep program, you had to deprogram a lot of that stuff.
00:35:11.100
When I, the turning point for me was when I built my own business, I scaled it very successfully.
00:35:17.120
And because I got so much praise for it, I kept thinking, okay, my value to a man comes
00:35:22.940
from how much money I make, the more money I make, the more they're going to see me as
00:35:28.380
So the turning point for me was when I looked at my history of dates and thought to myself,
00:35:40.300
So then I started reading books on dating and books on men so I could understand men and
00:35:47.540
And the common theme that kept coming up was that masculine men don't like masculine women.
00:35:52.940
They like women, a woman who's in touch with a feminine and a woman who's open to receiving.
00:35:57.320
So then I started making those changes in myself.
00:36:03.280
That's really powerful because most women don't do that.
00:36:08.160
Most people don't read the books about relationships, but most people want a healthy, successful
00:36:12.680
relationship, but they never research or read books on healthy, successful relationships.
00:36:17.000
And most women want a, they want a man that is, that is able to lead.
00:36:23.320
They want a masculine man, but then if they're not going to be submissive to somebody who's
00:36:27.080
leading, then it doesn't actually make sense if they're not going to be submissive.
00:36:29.960
So if you're like, if a woman is like, okay, well, I don't want to be submissive.
00:36:33.140
Well, then what you're saying is you want a, a man that is equal or below you.
00:36:38.740
But I need a man that makes six figures, but you don't make six figures.
00:36:43.960
Not to mention submission is a very beneficial thing for the woman too.
00:36:49.060
If you're super career driven, if you're making a ton of decisions, if you have to lead
00:36:53.720
a team in your business, don't you want to relax when you're outside of business and
00:37:00.680
I also think like to add onto what you said, people suck at taking accountability.
00:37:11.960
A lot of women will comment saying, Oh, where do you find your boyfriend?
00:37:18.180
All men are trash, but no woman saying, what do I need to do in order to become, in order
00:37:29.700
There's only one person can drive a car at a time.
00:37:33.880
So people find it a weird word to use, but only one person can be in control.
00:37:40.260
What do you say to women that say they want an equal partnership?
00:37:44.100
Then you have to deal with the fact you're not going to get the traditional benefits of
00:37:59.460
Like he's, if you want to be equals with a man, then you're not, don't expect the benefits
00:38:05.860
that a masculine provider man is going to give you.
00:38:08.560
You can't have something without giving something else back.
00:38:15.320
Now, I just had a little brainwave, but I was like, yo, I can technically build a house,
00:38:20.840
but I don't earn six figures a month or six figures a year.
00:38:26.980
It's the type of women that goes for the six figures, men.
00:38:32.700
It's not every woman that has that mentality of like, I need to have a man that has six
00:38:37.820
You can get a man that has six figures and maybe can't even construct a sentence together.
00:38:41.640
I mean, I think that's what women say, but then you watch who they date and it's a different
00:38:45.740
I've seen a lot of girls come on my show and they'll like say something that sounds nice.
00:38:49.980
And then after I'll look at their dating history and maybe he's not rich, but he sure as hell
00:39:02.420
I mean, not to disclose any information or that's any too sus about me, but up until like
00:39:14.780
But yeah, I was still engaging with sexual activities with women.
00:39:19.980
To the point where they were like, you should get a bed.
00:39:28.080
It wasn't until I got into a full on relationship where I was like, yo, I can marry you tomorrow
00:39:40.340
I'm in love with you and you are in terms of the roles of the relationship.
00:39:49.280
I was willing to learn and she was feminine and I was masculine.
00:39:55.900
Like, for example, we, I would finish a hard day at work.
00:40:12.620
And then she come to mind, I do the same thing.
00:40:14.960
Because that was our roles in the relationship.
00:40:19.400
But in this, but if, if I'm coming to your abode, you cater for me.
00:40:25.820
So, in that sense, I was like, yeah, life is good.
00:40:33.420
That bed soon came, though, and that woman came to the room.
00:40:46.720
You see, that goes back to what I was saying earlier, right?
00:40:52.140
You see, some, a lot of women would communicate things in an aggressive way,
00:40:56.840
which doesn't cater to, for want of a better word, the male ego.
00:41:02.760
Whereas, if she says it in a certain way or asks a certain question,
00:41:05.600
rather than makes a statement, then it becomes like, okay,
00:41:10.760
rather than I'm being forced to do it by somebody else.
00:41:20.700
I don't think a lot of people are very honest in relationships anymore.
00:41:24.580
So, I was dating this girl a few, for about three weeks.
00:41:29.960
I was seeing her on the weekend before she moved away.
00:41:32.760
And for the first two weeks, she mentioned, she said the words, no, I don't want to have sex.
00:41:40.520
And the second one, she said, is it all right for us to never have sex?
00:41:47.620
And then the third week, we were more intimate than I thought, but we didn't have sex.
00:41:54.000
And eventually, I had a conversation with her saying, like,
00:41:56.400
what would you have improved of me if I could find something out?
00:42:02.300
And she doesn't remember saying, no, I didn't want to have sex.
00:42:15.380
You're playing checkers, you're playing checkers.
00:42:18.440
I'm going to take a second and read Super Chats.
00:42:21.380
So, guys, all Super Chats are going towards updates in the studio.
00:42:26.160
Blessing, what, you want another camera, right?
00:42:48.400
So, I think we're going to react to the second clip.
00:43:02.140
And I was like, oh, my gosh, this girl is on my show.
00:43:21.560
When I have lived in this apartment for two years before him.
00:43:26.080
We believe it's going to be the provider of the relationship.
00:43:32.940
Cooking, cleaning, making the house look pretty.
00:43:45.260
My boyfriend and I practice polarization in our relationships.
00:43:48.000
Which means that instead of going 50-50 on everything, we go 100-100 on our respective roles.
00:44:08.660
Before anyone calls me like a gold digger or says that I'm dependent on him.
00:44:11.980
I have lived in this apartment for two years before him.
00:44:15.980
We believe in the man being the provider of the relationship.
00:44:22.960
Cooking, cleaning, making the house look pretty.
00:44:40.320
In terms of who plan things, I would say it's more like 60-40 or 70-30.
00:44:46.520
But whenever he doesn't want to or he actively wants me to do it.
00:44:51.520
Or if there's just something that I really want to do.
00:44:55.360
Something that I want to add is there's no right or wrong way.
00:44:57.960
The most important thing is that both of you feel like you're getting equal value exchange.
00:45:02.260
And that both people are putting in equal effort.
00:45:05.000
My boyfriend and I practice polarization in our relationship.
00:45:17.600
I was just saying you can exit out of the actual tab.
00:45:27.240
As someone who is currently unemployed, living in my mom's basement, as I would call it, whatever.
00:45:39.840
I'm not the London geezer, but you still smashed it out.
00:45:44.180
Because that's exactly how I would act as a man and what I would expect from my woman.
00:45:50.100
Yeah, and I also just want to put that video into context.
00:45:54.000
Because when I uploaded it, I purposely made it look like he was providing a lot.
00:46:01.160
I posted a second video, which solely focused on what a woman brings to the table.
00:46:10.880
And what I noticed was that in the first video, I got a lot of hate from men.
00:46:16.100
But in the second video, I got a lot of hate from women.
00:46:19.640
Why did you get a lot of hate from men for your first one?
00:46:22.580
Because it seems like he was bringing most of the things to the table.
00:46:32.960
So what I was trying to show was that people lack accountability.
00:46:37.560
And they are so quick to want to take from the other person.
00:46:42.560
But also, most people who hate don't understand that men and women have different...
00:46:48.440
Or like they value different currencies in a relationship.
00:46:50.760
So for a woman, her way of being taken care of is the man being the provider.
00:46:56.860
Because it represents that he's investing his resources in her, right?
00:47:01.000
But for a man, what he cares about is a woman who 100% supports his mission.
00:47:09.620
Like, you know, bring him a glass of water when he's working hard.
00:47:12.840
Or tell him that he's going to meet his business goals when he's doubting himself.
00:47:18.160
And people tend to value money way too much when it comes to...
00:47:21.860
Like what value someone brings to their relationship.
00:47:24.060
They think that money is the only value or currency there is to offer.
00:47:27.820
It's really valuable what you said as well in terms of there is no right or wrong way.
00:47:31.460
It's about finding the balance that works for you in your relationship.
00:47:36.040
Most people don't actually think about the balance that works in their relationship.
00:47:42.520
In their mind, they say, okay, my parents did it this way.
00:47:48.200
And a man goes, yeah, but my dad did it that way.
00:47:53.520
They just have false expectations that have no communication behind them.
00:47:56.800
And then they get surprised when it falls apart.
00:47:59.440
But should you have expectations in relationships?
00:48:03.620
Well, you shouldn't have expectations that aren't clearly communicated.
00:48:08.520
But then if you have expectations, sometimes people when you have expectations, it's like
00:48:16.960
Because if you expect something, you're expecting it to go plan.
00:48:21.540
That's when people be like, what's the point of doing this?
00:48:24.340
And have that kind of negative attitude towards certain things.
00:48:30.160
But you have to be clear on, in terms of certain things, you have to be clear on what it is that
00:48:37.740
What I'm saying is that most people aren't clear on what is acceptable and what isn't
00:48:44.660
They just think, oh, well, I've grown up like this.
00:48:49.920
And that's what Hannah was saying, is have that discussion so that you're very, very
00:48:53.620
clear about what it is that both of you bring to the table, what it is that both of
00:48:58.420
And I think sometimes those discussions do happen.
00:49:01.040
But again, it comes back to what you said about accountability.
00:49:03.680
People don't take accountability to actually really admit to what...
00:49:10.800
They have a visual of what they think a relationship should look like.
00:49:14.060
And when it's put to the table to them, they actually think, actually, I can't actually
00:49:18.920
I can't actually match to what I think I can do because they haven't been able to go
00:49:24.920
into themselves and take accountability for what they can or cannot do.
00:49:32.500
It's also like a lot of men want a submissive woman, but they don't have the qualities that
00:49:40.680
And also a lot of women want a man who pays for her and provides for her and is a good
00:49:46.960
But they also don't want to do the work to be the kind of woman that a masculine man wants
00:49:53.100
So to summarise your point nicely in terms of my personal dating experience, right?
00:49:59.360
I got to a point where I came back from uni a bit after.
00:50:06.360
I should have actually came back from uni, but I came back anyways.
00:50:09.740
And then I was on Tinder, Hinge, or whatever, whatever.
00:50:12.820
And I was going through the one night stand dating experience, right?
00:50:16.480
I never had a one night stand before I came back to London after, I think I was for like
00:50:22.440
So women were complimenting me for the fact that I made them breakfast in the morning.
00:50:29.060
And that to me was bewildering because who doesn't want breakfast in the morning?
00:50:37.700
But then I realised it was like, am I institutionalised, like am I simping for the fact that I had a
00:50:44.300
mum, and my mum always used to say to me, if you're cooking, cook for everyone.
00:50:51.860
But a lot of those, a lot of those kind of rituals, if you like, have been somewhat lost
00:50:57.440
in society and a lot of people don't have those same, those same norms and values.
00:51:04.120
But at the same time, I thought that that's what makes a man a man.
00:51:06.940
The idea that you go, I don't want you to cook breakfast, bro.
00:51:11.860
But forget dick riding classes, I'm presenting you as in what I can provide as a man.
00:51:19.180
I can give you what you're about to pay £11 for brunch for.
00:51:24.340
What do you guys see as solutions in the dating market going forward?
00:51:29.200
Do you think it starts with the women or the men?
00:51:32.980
They both need to equally read books and educate themselves on what the opposite sex wants.
00:51:38.860
It would be amazing if people can go on relationship courses before they actually go into relationships.
00:51:45.760
I'm talking like early 20s, you know what I mean?
00:51:47.560
If that was like part of like, you know, adulthood and, you know, people would go into a career
00:51:53.560
I think 90% of relationship courses are garbage.
00:52:00.100
But I mean, in terms of maybe not, you know, some of it would be a course, some of it would
00:52:05.800
be books, some of it would be, you know, personal research and stuff like that.
00:52:09.340
But people don't actually take the time to actually learn about...
00:52:11.800
I feel like it would make more sense for them to talk to someone who's been married 50 years.
00:52:21.640
And that's the crazy thing is I talk to so many girls that like think it's okay to leave
00:52:25.320
just because you're not happy, especially when you have kids.
00:52:28.920
And it's just like my mom always told me once you have kids, it's not about you.
00:52:33.240
And so I just get really confused when I'm like, you're not happy.
00:52:37.920
I'm like, the ladies from the 1940s and 50s would think we're so weak today.
00:52:47.400
I used to, I bet someone who was like, oh, as long as he left the house at a certain
00:52:54.280
time, came back at a certain time and paid the bills, whatever you did in that time is
00:53:05.160
My, my, um, no, I shouldn't, no, I'm not going to tell that story.
00:53:14.540
I think that side of the, I think that side of the,
00:53:21.800
Just basically, basically, um, there, there was a relative that, yeah, if I had, if I don't
00:53:29.680
The, I, there was a relative of mine that she, she knew her husband was cheating.
00:53:34.560
And, um, basically that the, the husband left and this girl was like a devout Catholic.
00:53:40.920
Like she, she like very much prayed every day, like the most Catholic person I've ever
00:53:45.940
met and the, the husband left the family to be with the side chick and she prayed for
00:53:55.000
And he came home and they were married like 50 plus years.
00:54:06.680
And it's just like, like the women back then were willing to like, like she put up with
00:54:11.520
I, I, that'd be a little far even for me, but maybe that's like a sign of the times.
00:54:20.240
And if your, um, partner decide, actually I'm going to have a side chick.
00:54:26.760
He wouldn't do that, but if he did, I would not be okay with it.
00:54:32.280
Do you think, so do you think that would be, um, I'm out of this relationship?
00:54:38.180
So would you say that Hannah's weak if she was to walk away from a relationship, her
00:54:43.760
Um, I think she's, well, to, to, no, no, no, right.
00:54:49.040
I mean, cause I think like she's in a position she can be selective, but if you have kids,
00:54:54.360
I think like once you have kids, it's not about you anymore, but like before you have kids,
00:54:57.800
like before you have kids, yeah, you can, if you, if what, if someone that's faithful
00:55:02.480
is a priority to you and you don't have kids involved, yeah, go get it.
00:55:08.780
I know the manosphere says like all guys cheat, whatever, but I know a lot of good dudes that won't
00:55:13.760
I think people say all men cheat because that's what they've known.
00:55:18.260
Like all men in your life cheat, but that doesn't mean that all men on the planet cheat.
00:55:23.380
And also in the media, we hear a lot more stories of guys who cheat than guys who don't.
00:55:29.620
So then we have this like distorted idea that all men cheat.
00:55:34.200
And then because that's what a woman believes, that's what she's going to attract.
00:55:38.080
Well, and then the girls, what they'll do is when they cheat, the answer is always, well,