JustPearlyThings - How many dates are too many dates

00:00:00.000 Would you guys ever date someone for a long period of time

00:00:02.480 knowing there's no long-term future?

00:00:06.300 Well, be in a situationship, basically.

00:00:09.660 No.

00:00:10.320 No.

00:00:10.760 Absolutely not.

00:00:11.680 Waste of time.

00:00:12.440 You're wasting your youth.

00:00:13.720 No.

00:00:14.300 I'd do it.

00:00:15.420 I'd do it.

00:00:16.540 I'd do it.

00:00:17.120 If I didn't have no time to do it, I'd do it.

00:00:18.620 Don't you think you may be passing past,

00:00:20.860 like someone who's right for you,

00:00:22.640 you may miss them whilst wasting your time on someone else.

00:00:25.000 If you miss them, it's like a bus, isn't it?

00:00:26.740 Catch them again.

00:00:27.640 I said if you miss them.

00:00:28.900 No, she was saying that.

00:00:30.160 I'd rather.

00:00:30.740 Next one comes along.

00:00:31.700 Yeah, because, I'm sorry, but if you're with someone

00:00:33.940 and you just think, you know what?

00:00:35.500 I mean, just thinking realistically.

00:00:37.540 You either don't have anyone and let time fast you by

00:00:40.880 and then, or use it right there with all your roses

00:00:43.920 and your lips and whatever,

00:00:45.240 or you find a young man and you just think,

00:00:47.860 you know what, I've got you for five years,

00:00:49.220 or I've got a man for five years,

00:00:50.540 and you just enjoy yourself.

00:00:51.440 You're not looking for nothing else.

00:00:53.040 You might be a busy businesswoman 0.97

00:00:54.800 that don't want a relationship,

00:00:56.560 and you might have come to an agreement with someone,

00:00:58.560 you know what, we're just going to see each other,

00:01:01.240 but we've got five, ten years to waste.

00:01:03.860 I personally think that only works for a short period of time.

00:01:06.440 You can only be so uncertain for a short period of time,

00:01:08.900 and that initially happens at the beginning.

00:01:10.540 Maybe like, give it three, four months,

00:01:12.440 you'll probably start liking them and being like,

00:01:14.040 yeah, I want to get into a relationship,

00:01:15.320 but then they're going to use the fact

00:01:16.320 that you went into a relationship

00:01:17.340 without no intention of getting together in the future

00:01:19.620 to basically go, yeah, no, I'm not really getting into one.

00:01:22.760 That's one of the main mistakes that women make. 1.00

00:01:25.560 So I think that only works for a short period of time.

00:01:27.680 You can only be uncertain for a very short period of time.

00:01:30.400 Sooner or later, you will end up liking the person,

00:01:32.440 believe it or not.

00:01:33.280 How soon will you guys have that conversation

00:01:35.160 of where something is going?

00:01:38.880 Is that something you guys do on the first date,

00:01:41.100 third date, a month in?

00:01:43.320 Depends who they are.

00:01:45.700 Does it not depend on,

00:01:47.580 before you even get to that point,

00:01:49.160 knowing where you're actually at

00:01:50.660 in terms of wanting a relationship or not?

00:01:53.780 Well, I'm saying,

00:01:54.860 if you want to be in something long-term

00:01:56.980 and you meet a guy and go on a date with him,

00:01:59.900 how long until you ask him where it's going?

00:02:03.000 For me personally,

00:02:04.060 it would be before we become intimate

00:02:06.100 or like I shed that kind of energy.

00:02:10.080 Can I, you just said something before you become intimate.

00:02:12.840 So how many dates are you going to go on

00:02:13.840 before you become intimate?

00:02:15.300 I'm just thinking about,

00:02:16.060 the guy could be taking you out like four or five times

00:02:18.260 and then you're going to turn around and say,

00:02:19.800 no, I'd be vexed if I was a man.

00:02:22.240 I'm taking you out on five dates

00:02:23.700 and you're going to turn around getting that for it.

00:02:25.380 I'm going to be vexed.

00:02:26.240 Let's be honest.

00:02:26.800 I'm going to be vexed.

00:02:27.960 Damonte, you really, you already dated.

00:02:29.900 You're going to get active on the bed.

00:02:32.200 No, it's true.

00:02:33.580 Because you got,

00:02:34.480 all right then,

00:02:34.740 think about it from a man's point of view.

00:02:35.980 You like this girl

00:02:36.720 and you're talking,

00:02:38.120 you're going to take her out on these dates. 1.00

00:02:40.100 And then after the fifth date,

00:02:41.280 she's going to be like,

00:02:41.920 you know what,

00:02:42.920 I can't really see a future.

00:02:44.540 I'll be like, give my money back.

00:02:46.080 You know what I mean?

00:02:46.700 I'm wasting my money on you.

00:02:47.960 Give my money back.

00:02:48.880 I think it should be done like from day one.

00:02:51.240 From the time you started talking like,

00:02:52.540 yeah, what's your name?

00:02:53.580 And I'm dating with intention.

00:02:54.940 You either like me or you don't like me.

00:02:56.160 Move on.

00:02:56.920 But to go on dates

00:02:57.940 and then turn around and say,

00:03:00.180 I thought you should keep all the receipts

00:03:02.180 and answer his money back.

00:03:03.120 At least 50%.

00:03:04.340 But for someone to say that

00:03:05.460 you really must not have liked the dates like that,

00:03:07.220 you're probably just focusing on trying to get

00:03:08.860 a different type of intimacy with a person.

00:03:11.400 No, the question was,

00:03:12.680 how long would it be before,

00:03:14.200 like if you're going to get serious with someone?

00:03:16.600 So to go on dates,

00:03:17.820 she's asking when.

00:03:18.920 Now I remember I said to someone

00:03:20.160 that when you meet someone,

00:03:21.320 they want to take you out,

00:03:22.180 say, you know,

00:03:23.180 what are your intentions towards me?

00:03:24.640 I'm dating with the attention

00:03:25.860 before you even go out on a date.

00:03:27.740 From the time you're going out on a date,

00:03:29.580 you're giving them false hope.

00:03:31.840 You're giving them false hope.

00:03:33.020 From the time you said,

00:03:33.680 yes, I'm going to go on a date,

00:03:34.600 you think, yeah, I'm in there.

00:03:35.800 And then the next date,

00:03:36.680 yeah, I'm in there.

00:03:37.420 I'm getting close on clock.

00:03:38.400 They go, no, you're not my type.

00:03:39.820 After four or five dates.

00:03:40.900 To be fair, I hear you.

00:03:42.120 I actually do hear you.

00:03:42.960 I think that's what I was trying to say before.

00:03:44.600 I think it's before knowing,

00:03:45.840 before you get to that point,

00:03:47.000 what you want,

00:03:49.000 going into whether you're going to have a date

00:03:50.920 or going into a relationship.

00:03:52.280 I think...

00:03:53.120 Women know. 1.00

00:03:53.740 You can just look at a man and see.

00:03:54.880 You know.

00:03:55.400 Even before you go on a date,

00:03:56.440 you know.

00:03:56.860 So when you go on a date,

00:03:57.660 you already know.

00:03:58.600 You can tell by the first date

00:03:59.880 that you don't like him.

00:04:01.300 I mean, I kind of...

00:04:03.280 Maybe the phone call?

00:04:05.580 Text?

00:04:05.680 I think you get that connection

00:04:08.480 and it is about that energy

00:04:09.600 and I think we do feel that

00:04:11.980 and we do know

00:04:13.840 prior to going forth with anything else.

00:04:16.600 So I do think

00:04:17.400 those that say,

00:04:18.580 I just want to see

00:04:19.160 and wait and see how it goes on,

00:04:20.800 I think deep down,

00:04:21.560 we truly know

00:04:22.420 before we even go to that point.

00:04:23.580 They just hedge your bets.

00:04:24.540 They just say,

00:04:25.020 you know what,

00:04:25.300 I'm going to go on dates with him

00:04:26.500 because something better might come around.

00:04:28.920 But sometimes you can know

00:04:30.200 someone's not right,

00:04:31.500 but you're highly attracted to them

00:04:33.000 so you keep going back.

00:04:34.780 Yeah.

00:04:36.040 And there were those

00:04:36.800 that are called toxic nowadays.

00:04:38.360 To do what?

00:04:38.700 Toxic.

00:04:39.260 To do what?

00:04:39.540 You go back to meet up.

00:04:40.900 You know, some people,

00:04:41.940 well, there's a lot of people

00:04:42.860 that sleep around.

00:04:43.620 They know that it's not going to go

00:04:44.580 to the purpose.

00:04:45.800 Yeah, like a friends of benefit.

00:04:47.960 I feel like

00:04:48.460 if you get into a situation

00:04:49.560 where you're basically

00:04:50.500 saying you're friends of benefits,

00:04:51.420 you've kind of already established

00:04:52.340 what is going on

00:04:53.020 in the relationship, right?

00:04:54.980 But I feel like

00:04:57.060 if you're...

00:04:58.340 Before you even go on a date,

00:04:59.680 personally,

00:05:00.260 I'd speak to the person first.

00:05:02.100 Probably like,

00:05:02.700 give it like a week,

00:05:03.580 give it like a week or two.

00:05:04.600 You'd know if you even

00:05:05.520 want to go on the date.

00:05:06.760 That's the thing.

00:05:07.760 But for you to go on five dates

00:05:08.980 and be like,

00:05:09.660 yeah, I'm not...

00:05:10.520 If I'm being honest,

00:05:11.140 then I'll be like,

00:05:12.140 huh?

00:05:12.240 I can see that.

00:05:13.220 If I'm being honest,

00:05:14.200 a man has to make 0.58

00:05:15.000 my fanny flower.

00:05:16.200 If you're not making

00:05:17.180 my fanny flower,

00:05:18.340 then I feel like

00:05:19.740 there's nowhere to go.

00:05:20.880 Like, there has to be

00:05:21.660 that sexual chemistry

00:05:22.760 as well as

00:05:23.920 that energy

00:05:25.160 and that connection.

00:05:26.200 I think it has to be there.

00:05:27.220 I think it is important.

00:05:28.580 But don't forget that

00:05:29.520 it's like,

00:05:30.580 your fanny can flutter

00:05:31.560 at the beginning.

00:05:32.680 Do you know what I mean?

00:05:33.960 And then it's like...

00:05:34.400 What?

00:05:34.760 It's like...

00:05:35.420 Stop! 1.00

00:05:36.540 You get there

00:05:37.300 and then you're like,

00:05:38.620 are you dead?

00:05:39.860 Do you know what I mean?

00:05:41.280 All of a sudden,

00:05:42.140 it just stops

00:05:42.640 and that's how women know. 1.00

00:05:43.820 Because the man will still

00:05:44.640 be going in there

00:05:45.220 that, yeah,

00:05:45.600 we're having sex 0.85

00:05:46.080 and we'll be like,

00:05:46.660 you know what,

00:05:46.960 I'm dead below the waist for you.

00:05:48.580 Do you know what I mean?

00:05:48.980 And then you just can't

00:05:49.760 build up how to dump him.

00:05:51.660 Don't, auntie.

00:05:52.420 So don't follow your fanny. 0.65

00:05:55.540 No, I'm saying

00:05:56.360 don't follow your fanny 1.00

00:05:57.340 but I have to have

00:05:58.320 that fanny flutter 0.79

00:05:59.340 with somebody

00:06:00.060 that I'm going to be looking...

00:06:01.800 I think that's important.

00:06:02.900 Part of...

00:06:03.920 That's got to be

00:06:05.160 in my shopping basket.

00:06:06.740 Being able to...

00:06:07.620 That physical attraction,

00:06:08.580 that sexual attraction

00:06:09.320 with a man

00:06:09.900 as well as being able

00:06:10.800 to have that

00:06:11.280 intellectual conversation

00:06:12.240 and have that fun factor

00:06:16.600 as well.

00:06:17.160 I think there's a lot of...

00:06:18.380 So what's not

00:06:19.320 in the shopping bag?

00:06:20.260 What are you willing

00:06:20.760 to give up?

00:06:22.420 Because if he's

00:06:23.300 a good looking guy

00:06:24.320 that makes your

00:06:25.280 like fanny flutter

00:06:26.040 a lot of women 1.00

00:06:26.620 are going to want him.

00:06:28.080 Can I say what I want

00:06:28.960 in my basket

00:06:29.720 and then everything else

00:06:31.100 can't be in my basket?

00:06:32.200 Okay, go ahead.

00:06:32.860 Go ahead.

00:06:33.880 I think honesty is important.

00:06:35.720 I think communication

00:06:36.780 is key.

00:06:40.640 I think I'm at

00:06:41.700 a point in my life now

00:06:42.820 where I need

00:06:43.600 consistency

00:06:44.580 to feel safe

00:06:46.380 and secure

00:06:46.880 and obviously

00:06:47.960 that physical attraction

00:06:48.980 have fun.

00:06:50.440 What I don't want

00:06:51.340 is somebody

00:06:52.000 dictating to me

00:06:53.500 telling me

00:06:53.900 what I can

00:06:54.340 and can't do

00:06:55.080 abusive

00:06:56.620 whichever way

00:06:57.780 shape or form

00:06:58.460 that may look.

00:07:00.740 So yeah.

00:07:01.780 That's a shopping trolley

00:07:02.920 not even a basket.

00:07:04.740 She's gone for having

00:07:05.760 nothing in a basket

00:07:06.740 to have a whole trolley.

00:07:08.480 They're the things

00:07:09.000 that I would get rid of

00:07:09.840 and yeah

00:07:10.220 so I think

00:07:10.840 you know

00:07:11.760 that's me.

00:07:13.300 What about you guys?

00:07:17.060 What would you guys

00:07:17.660 want in a guy?

00:07:19.560 I have everything

00:07:20.320 I want now.

00:07:21.440 Aww.

00:07:23.500 Shout out to your boyfriend. 0.96

00:07:25.120 Not to me cringe

00:07:26.060 but I can't be like

00:07:26.720 well I want this

00:07:27.400 because that implies

00:07:27.960 I don't have it.

00:07:28.620 No.

00:07:29.380 He looks after me.

00:07:30.820 He leaves me.

00:07:32.080 He does everything

00:07:32.700 I need.

00:07:34.000 Thankfully.

00:07:34.780 Is he more than

00:07:35.300 five years older

00:07:36.000 than you?

00:07:37.420 Yeah.

00:07:37.960 Well he's five years

00:07:38.720 older than me.

00:07:39.220 What would I want?

00:07:46.620 You know

00:07:47.120 I used to be big

00:07:47.940 on saying

00:07:48.420 I want communication.

00:07:50.600 Anybody that asks me

00:07:51.580 what I wanted

00:07:52.140 I'd always be like

00:07:53.400 I'm the best communicator

00:07:54.720 in the world

00:07:55.080 I need someone

00:07:55.440 that can communicate

00:07:56.140 just as well as me.

00:07:58.000 But you realise

00:07:58.580 that communication

00:07:59.100 comes in different forms

00:08:00.280 and it's always not

00:08:00.960 going to be compatible

00:08:01.460 with you.

00:08:01.980 So even when someone is

00:08:02.920 you'd think they wouldn't be.

00:08:04.040 You're asking a man 0.99

00:08:04.600 to be a woman.

00:08:07.340 Asking,

00:08:07.980 telling you to tell me

00:08:08.860 what you want

00:08:09.300 it's not asking you

00:08:09.960 to be a woman

00:08:10.520 I'm just telling you

00:08:11.340 so that you don't get upset

00:08:12.200 if I don't do the stuff

00:08:13.060 you want me to do.

00:08:14.020 How many men have told you

00:08:14.800 to shut up and be quiet?

00:08:17.200 Nobody.

00:08:17.740 And I hope no one.

00:08:19.180 Okay.

00:08:19.680 Yeah.

00:08:19.900 You're lucky.

00:08:21.340 Yeah I am.

00:08:22.160 But a lot of the time

00:08:22.940 I'm not going to stand

00:08:23.560 someone that's telling me

00:08:24.340 to shut up. 1.00

00:08:25.320 But a lot of the time

00:08:26.200 if men tell us

00:08:27.700 what they really want

00:08:28.680 we leave.

00:08:29.660 Because it's usually

00:08:30.240 I have sex with multiple people

00:08:31.820 and you stay monogamous.

00:08:33.700 So when we get told that

00:08:35.240 that's their form

00:08:36.320 of honest communication

00:08:37.260 and we're just like

00:08:38.600 all right

00:08:39.060 I'm going.

00:08:40.280 That's probably why

00:08:40.920 they're not honest with us.

00:08:42.760 Probably.

00:08:43.340 So she wants a good communicator 1.00

00:08:44.700 she's got a shopping trolley

00:08:46.000 I want to find out

00:08:46.580 what everybody else wants.

00:08:48.120 Okay so good communicator

00:08:49.500 what else?

00:08:50.980 Someone that I find

00:08:52.360 attractive.

00:08:54.720 Okay.

00:08:55.200 Is there a height requirement

00:08:56.920 for that?

00:08:57.520 You're not that tall

00:08:58.280 I don't think.

00:08:59.420 Why are you calling me out

00:09:00.000 like that?

00:09:00.220 No I'm 5'3".

00:09:01.040 No I don't have a height requirement

00:09:03.380 you can be as tall

00:09:04.440 as you like.

00:09:05.040 5 foot?

00:09:05.520 5 foot?

00:09:06.800 5 foot?

00:09:07.320 I don't think I'd go for

00:09:07.980 someone that's shorter than me.

00:09:09.320 So there's a height requirement.

00:09:10.680 Yeah just not shorter than me.

00:09:12.140 Sorry yes no.

00:09:13.420 A height requirement 0.98

00:09:14.180 but just someone

00:09:14.820 that's not shorter than me.

00:09:15.840 Just because I feel like

00:09:16.860 I'd be more attracted

00:09:17.680 to someone that was

00:09:18.240 taller than me

00:09:18.660 than shorter than me.

00:09:19.380 Same height is good?

00:09:20.620 Same height

00:09:21.200 can be yeah

00:09:21.860 it can be alright.

00:09:22.800 We can try and make it work.

00:09:23.760 Or like 5'5 at least.

00:09:25.180 Yeah yeah yeah.

00:09:25.660 Okay go ahead.

00:09:27.220 So tall

00:09:28.080 5'5 and up

00:09:29.500 and good communicator.

00:09:30.740 Yeah someone that's

00:09:31.640 That's a funny story put up.

00:09:33.300 Someone that

00:09:33.880 I'd prefer

00:09:34.980 if I was to look for anybody

00:09:36.940 and from the first time

00:09:38.740 I even stepped my foot

00:09:40.160 into this dating world

00:09:41.260 someone that's been

00:09:43.800 in a previous relationship

00:09:45.100 but however

00:09:48.360 I don't mean it in a way

00:09:49.640 where like

00:09:50.020 you're still talking to them

00:09:51.180 but I mean

00:09:51.900 in a way where like

00:09:53.060 you know what is required

00:09:55.120 in a relationship

00:09:55.700 you know how to go about

00:09:56.700 someone a significant other

00:09:57.940 and how to talk to them

00:09:59.440 how to look after them

00:10:00.720 and I think

00:10:01.600 yeah so I think

00:10:02.520 that's kind of important to me.

00:10:04.160 Not a deal breaker

00:10:05.160 but I would prefer that.

00:10:06.180 Okay so 5'5 and taller

00:10:07.440 has been in a relationship

00:10:09.460 good communicator.

00:10:10.400 Anything else?

00:10:13.420 Maybe something

00:10:14.060 I'm not allowed to say on camera.

00:10:16.220 I'm joking.

00:10:17.640 I'm joking.

00:10:19.080 But yeah

00:10:19.380 that's all I got for

00:10:20.160 at the top of my head though.

00:10:21.180 As many of you know

00:10:22.020 I was just banned

00:10:23.220 on TikTok

00:10:24.140 and we are demonetized

00:10:25.860 on a daily basis

00:10:27.080 on this platform.

00:10:28.980 If you want to help

00:10:30.240 please consider

00:10:31.120 sending a super thanks below.

00:10:33.460 Every donation helps

00:10:34.760 and it helps make

00:10:35.600 what we do possible.

JustPearlyThings - April 03, 2023

How many dates are too many dates

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