JustPearlyThings - April 14, 2023


How To Be a Traditional Woman


Episode Stats


Length

10 minutes

Words per minute

214.40704

Word count

2,272

Sentence count

190

Harmful content

Misogyny

9

sentences flagged

Hate speech

11

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we talk about modern day women and how they compare themselves to their male counterparts. We talk about what it means to be a woman in today's society and how to deal with modern day men.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 You have assumed that the women that are traveling everywhere are going and living a luxurious lifestyle. 1.00
00:00:04.320 They could have been backpacking all over Europe.
00:00:07.400 I mean, the example I just gave is clearly a woman who's been flown out by a man.
00:00:11.720 Very, very clear.
00:00:13.200 And probably, because there's different cities, probably different men.
00:00:16.080 Exactly.
00:00:16.440 But he's trying to tell you what he wants and you're trying to tell him that's not...
00:00:19.920 Oh, I'm wrong. I'm wrong. I don't want...
00:00:24.320 Oh, apparently I don't want that.
00:00:25.340 It's like to guys, most girls that travel around from city to city, 0.96
00:00:29.140 they're sleeping around.
00:00:30.280 So it's like if it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck,
00:00:32.640 how is he supposed to know that it's not a duck, especially when women lie? 1.00
00:00:35.940 Then you have a conversation with a person.
00:00:37.960 That's why I wasn't neglecting.
00:00:39.400 I wasn't saying that what he's saying was wrong.
00:00:41.480 My question was, why have you automatically assumed that that is the case?
00:00:45.060 Because there's a really judgmental attitude going on.
00:00:51.400 It's literally just patent recognition.
00:00:53.280 If I see a guy, okay, if I'm going on a date with a guy
00:00:58.300 and he walks like a bum, talks like a bum, he doesn't seem to have a job, 0.93
00:01:04.660 am I judgmental for thinking this man might be a bum? 0.97
00:01:08.360 And then he says, you know what?
00:01:09.120 I'm a millionaire, babe.
00:01:10.200 And I'm just like, no, I don't think you are.
00:01:13.140 So what if, what if with you going and pairing up with this man,
00:01:18.960 if he's got something else to him, he's got beautiful characteristics,
00:01:21.620 if he's got something in his spirit that you're like, oh my gosh, he's amazing.
00:01:25.160 He's like, what if you added value to him and you brought him up?
00:01:29.460 I am just, I'm not, I come from a hardworking family.
00:01:33.520 Like we're German.
00:01:34.400 Okay.
00:01:35.880 And, and.
00:01:36.720 Guten Tag.
00:01:37.920 Sprechen Deutsch, um bisschen. 0.57
00:01:39.140 Un, bitte.
00:01:41.780 But, but it's like, no, that just wouldn't work with my family.
00:01:45.720 That's okay.
00:01:46.180 So if he's a bum, no. 0.98
00:01:48.880 And that's okay too.
00:01:49.680 But I think that, you know, as, as our, as our individuals go on,
00:01:55.820 like we've all got our, our different things that we look for, right?
00:01:58.780 Like if you look for in a woman, someone to have that clean slate, 1.00
00:02:02.840 somebody that's going to be at home, raise the kids.
00:02:05.080 That's okay.
00:02:05.880 A lot of my male friends of which I have so many who are like family to me.
00:02:10.280 They're like my brothers, like honestly, like my brother.
00:02:12.460 Red flag.
00:02:13.180 Yeah.
00:02:13.540 Oh, I know you were going to say it.
00:02:15.240 But this is the thing, like these people are people who I love so much
00:02:19.960 and their opinions on all of this, this whole, um, movement is that
00:02:25.820 you're only valuing people based off of real skin deep stuff,
00:02:29.560 which is really sad for humanity.
00:02:31.760 But that's what everyone's selling these days.
00:02:33.520 Yeah.
00:02:33.620 But women base men off skin deep stuff. 0.99
00:02:35.240 I don't.
00:02:35.760 And a lot of people I know don't.
00:02:36.820 I'm generalizing.
00:02:37.640 They're generalizing.
00:02:38.200 They're generalizing.
00:02:38.980 How many, it like you saying just as a hypothetical, right?
00:02:42.080 You saying, oh, I need to, I need to date a woman who has been flown out 1.00
00:02:47.020 to all corners of the earth by a bunch of different men.
00:02:48.880 It's like me saying to you, you have to date a guy who's five foot one.
00:02:51.520 You have to.
00:02:52.320 But we are just generalizing this.
00:02:53.260 You have no choice about this.
00:02:53.980 You have to date a guy who's five foot one, irrespective of anything else.
00:02:56.520 But isn't the whole point of this conversation about modern day women?
00:03:01.240 And my theory is, is like, if we were still back in the day
00:03:04.880 where my mom was going out and doing everything and I could stay at home,
00:03:08.780 that's a lovely different story.
00:03:10.340 That's not the case.
00:03:11.160 Why do you think, why do you think that's not the case with her now?
00:03:13.680 Okay, now we're going to generalize because I've never met a man,
00:03:17.260 never, that has said, I'm happy for you to do that.
00:03:19.700 I will take the lead here and I will provide everything
00:03:21.920 and you can stay at home.
00:03:23.240 And that's generally.
00:03:24.600 That's a tragedy.
00:03:25.480 But that just means you can't get the guys that do that.
00:03:28.260 And it's usually based off of, it's based off of women's choices. 1.00
00:03:31.680 No, because there's plenty of men that want to provide. 0.95
00:03:33.800 Choices and status as well in your environment.
00:03:37.500 There's plenty of men that want to provide for their girls. 0.99
00:03:39.580 There's plenty of guys that want to do it.
00:03:41.540 I'm not saying that there aren't.
00:03:42.680 I'm just saying, I live in London, you live in London.
00:03:47.580 I've not come across that.
00:03:49.460 It's not typical.
00:03:50.680 You might be fishing in the wrong pond then.
00:03:52.220 Okay, maybe.
00:03:52.960 But again, if the whole conversation has been generalized,
00:03:55.680 that's the generalized thing about modern day dating.
00:03:58.220 So I understand when she's saying, as in my 20s,
00:04:01.460 I've had to go out and work my ass off
00:04:04.040 because I've never been able to rely on a man to provide.
00:04:06.540 When you were 18, 19, 20, 21,
00:04:08.500 did you ever try to date an older guy like 35?
00:04:11.240 About 30, yeah.
00:04:12.520 35, 40?
00:04:13.760 Not that old, no.
00:04:14.700 No.
00:04:14.940 Okay, it would have been an option for you.
00:04:17.640 18 to 22?
00:04:19.520 If you, if you.
00:04:20.500 I could have never dated any younger.
00:04:22.680 If you're having family, like things that you can't date a bum, 1.00
00:04:26.280 my mum might let me date a 40 year old at 18. 1.00
00:04:28.160 That's my family.
00:04:28.760 Maybe, okay, okay, let's do, let's do 22, 22 to 35.
00:04:32.860 I still think no.
00:04:34.180 No.
00:04:35.180 But again, that's all based on background and culture.
00:04:38.520 No, but I'm saying the whole,
00:04:39.740 the whole point is most women, young, attractive, in shape women, 1.00
00:04:43.280 which is all choices, have the option to stay at home
00:04:46.780 if they go for the right type of guy.
00:04:48.220 But a lot of times when we're young,
00:04:49.700 we're not going for the husbands.
00:04:51.700 Like it's.
00:04:52.220 Well, I did.
00:04:53.420 Me too.
00:04:54.440 I'm so thankful for my mentality because I did.
00:04:57.520 I was 19 dating a 30 year old man.
00:05:01.860 And it made sense because when I was,
00:05:04.460 I was already committed from young.
00:05:06.120 I was ready to make, I was already in that mindset already.
00:05:08.840 And I lost basically most of my friends because of that decision.
00:05:12.780 So I had to choose between being a committed 19 year old wife material
00:05:17.440 or be a young 19 year old girl.
00:05:21.000 And going out, basically the week that I met my son's dad,
00:05:24.560 he was, he was that, um, that week someone,
00:05:29.680 I just came back from like a vacation with like a guy that obviously I met.
00:05:33.240 We were seeing each other and stuff.
00:05:34.240 So that week I met my son's dad and I went with my son's dad
00:05:38.880 and he might not have, um,
00:05:40.980 firstly asked me to go to Dubai with him or this with him,
00:05:44.500 but I chose already.
00:05:45.500 This is the kind of guy that I need.
00:05:47.260 I don't need the guy that wants to buy me Chanel,
00:05:49.540 drive me in a Range Rover or all them stuff.
00:05:51.280 Because I know I could just already tell it's too good to be true.
00:05:54.800 You're selling something.
00:05:55.940 I'm buying something.
00:05:56.760 I'm selling something.
00:05:57.460 So it's just, it's not even, it didn't even start off right.
00:06:00.280 But so then I just kind of cut him off and went with, um,
00:06:03.280 my son's dad.
00:06:04.040 He wasn't my son's dad at the time, but, um, all my friends,
00:06:06.820 I lost a lot of friends.
00:06:07.660 They were laughing at me like, oh my God, you're so young.
00:06:09.540 You need to go out.
00:06:10.160 This guy.
00:06:10.500 I don't think they're real friends.
00:06:11.820 That's what I'm getting to.
00:06:13.160 They were telling me like, oh, you, we need to go out.
00:06:15.360 Why are you stuck in the house playing?
00:06:17.100 Why laughing at me?
00:06:18.420 And I was so embarrassed.
00:06:19.760 But at that point it still didn't, I was just strong.
00:06:22.200 You know what?
00:06:22.760 I don't think they weren't laughing at you because they,
00:06:25.020 they were looking down on you.
00:06:26.640 They were laughing at you because they were jealous of your ass. 1.00
00:06:28.280 Can I tell you the end of the story?
00:06:29.780 You were in love.
00:06:30.160 I don't even know the story.
00:06:31.280 I'm going to assume.
00:06:32.700 That's why, that's why I'm so proud to say this.
00:06:35.200 I chose him.
00:06:36.720 And, um, yeah, everyone was just like looking at us.
00:06:39.220 Why are you guys so in love in the relationship?
00:06:41.800 You've left all your friends.
00:06:42.860 Now you, we create, we started creating our own world and empire from then on,
00:06:46.600 even though we weren't perfect or in the right places, but it was the right time.
00:06:49.820 That's why I always say to people, everything is the timeframe.
00:06:52.260 It's not after you traveled.
00:06:53.420 It's not after you've done it.
00:06:54.700 It's the right time.
00:06:55.400 But the friends that were laughing at me, that didn't go out with every single time,
00:07:00.540 they were left with them men that had Range Rovers and stuff with like a kid or two here.
00:07:05.380 They don't know where the dad is here.
00:07:07.140 They're not acknowledging their kids.
00:07:08.560 Although me and my sons that we had ups and downs, he never, he never left my side.
00:07:13.300 He never left my son's dad, my son's side.
00:07:15.720 So now I'm laughing at them.
00:07:17.460 I'm like the time that you could have spent focusing on the right guys, you focused on lifestyle.
00:07:22.360 Well, and look at the lifestyle it gave you.
00:07:24.500 And the whole point is we all have choices.
00:07:26.400 We might've been given the wrong information and made bad choices based on the information we had at the time.
00:07:31.100 And you can't change it now.
00:07:32.280 But it's like at the end of the day, every, any, any young, attractive woman has the option to get married.
00:07:39.320 Yeah.
00:07:39.980 I'm wondering, and a question for the boys.
00:07:42.600 Hello.
00:07:43.440 Um, if you, hello, um, when you're looking for someone and you're looking for someone to love and to settle down with,
00:07:50.480 what are you looking for?
00:07:53.400 Like beyond having a baby, like personality, what are you looking for in a personality?
00:08:00.380 Virgin 18, not annoying cooks.
00:08:03.920 I said personality, not traits.
00:08:06.340 These are all, well, here's the thing.
00:08:08.160 That's a bit of trait.
00:08:08.960 As far as, what about, what about.
00:08:10.920 That's not a personality.
00:08:11.960 Being a virgin isn't a personality.
00:08:13.500 Oh, you'd be surprised.
00:08:14.480 Kind of is.
00:08:15.220 My whole thing is being a virgin.
00:08:17.160 I think you need to go online shopping for that one.
00:08:19.640 Because he's just listing them all out.
00:08:21.540 Yeah.
00:08:22.020 That's the dating profile.
00:08:24.440 Well, it kind of is a personality because it's based upon choices.
00:08:26.840 Yeah, but like, do you know what I mean by like personality?
00:08:29.540 So when I'm looking for someone, right, I want somebody that's going to be funny.
00:08:33.240 I want somebody that's going to be adventurous.
00:08:35.580 I want somebody that's going to go around the world with me and have a lot of fun and be like a best friend, right?
00:08:40.100 I want to have that like goofy motherfucker that I can roll around with and stuff and have fun with.
00:08:45.100 This is every Tinder profile ever.
00:08:46.640 Yeah.
00:08:47.480 In reality.
00:08:48.300 In reality.
00:08:49.640 I really wouldn't know.
00:08:50.780 Does this guy seem real?
00:08:52.820 Does this seem real to you?
00:08:54.480 I thought I had it.
00:08:55.780 I did.
00:08:56.660 I thought that I did have it.
00:08:58.080 I did actually have it.
00:08:58.760 I just think, I think sometimes like, you know, society tells women we can just have everything in a guy.
00:09:04.200 We want him to be stable, but we also want him to travel the world with us.
00:09:08.860 Yeah.
00:09:09.240 We did do that for five years.
00:09:10.880 I don't know what your personal stuff is, but you're not with him now.
00:09:14.100 So it didn't seem to work out.
00:09:15.720 I know it was pretty, it was a pretty shitty thing.
00:09:18.980 Like I'm someone that like, I sometimes think, oh shit, do I have to, and I hate the word settle for less because I feel like, oh my God, I'm taking on less.
00:09:29.280 But there is parts of me that I'm like, okay, I want a man to do this.
00:09:33.820 I kind of want him to, because I have a very flexible life with my job.
00:09:37.840 I've always worked for myself.
00:09:39.360 Like, but I'm free because, you know, work happens when it happens and that's good for me.
00:09:45.540 So I'm like, okay, Thursday night or Thursday daytime, who wants to go on a date?
00:09:49.400 And that's not possible for a man that's working hard or doing the things that I also want.
00:09:53.500 And so for, if I'm like, oh, I just want to go to Paris for the weekend, he might not be able to do that.
00:09:58.920 And I have to, I'm really trying to start thinking like, okay, well this, if I'm having to think of a man that I want for the rest of my life,
00:10:06.900 like where or what am I going to have to start compromising because it's not that I don't think I can have it all,
00:10:13.140 but I don't think all is like, um, sorry, my love, what she said, um, at the same time.
00:10:19.520 As many of you know, I was just banned on TikTok and we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform.
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