JustPearlyThings - April 14, 2023


How To Be a Traditional Woman


Episode Stats

Length

10 minutes

Words per Minute

214.40704

Word Count

2,272

Sentence Count

190

Misogynist Sentences

9

Hate Speech Sentences

11


Summary

In this episode, we talk about modern day women and how they compare themselves to their male counterparts. We talk about what it means to be a woman in today's society and how to deal with modern day men.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 You have assumed that the women that are traveling everywhere are going and living a luxurious lifestyle.
00:00:04.320 They could have been backpacking all over Europe.
00:00:07.400 I mean, the example I just gave is clearly a woman who's been flown out by a man.
00:00:11.720 Very, very clear.
00:00:13.200 And probably, because there's different cities, probably different men.
00:00:16.080 Exactly.
00:00:16.440 But he's trying to tell you what he wants and you're trying to tell him that's not...
00:00:19.920 Oh, I'm wrong. I'm wrong. I don't want...
00:00:24.320 Oh, apparently I don't want that.
00:00:25.340 It's like to guys, most girls that travel around from city to city,
00:00:29.140 they're sleeping around.
00:00:30.280 So it's like if it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck,
00:00:32.640 how is he supposed to know that it's not a duck, especially when women lie?
00:00:35.940 Then you have a conversation with a person.
00:00:37.960 That's why I wasn't neglecting.
00:00:39.400 I wasn't saying that what he's saying was wrong.
00:00:41.480 My question was, why have you automatically assumed that that is the case?
00:00:45.060 Because there's a really judgmental attitude going on.
00:00:51.400 It's literally just patent recognition.
00:00:53.280 If I see a guy, okay, if I'm going on a date with a guy
00:00:58.300 and he walks like a bum, talks like a bum, he doesn't seem to have a job,
00:01:04.660 am I judgmental for thinking this man might be a bum?
00:01:08.360 And then he says, you know what?
00:01:09.120 I'm a millionaire, babe.
00:01:10.200 And I'm just like, no, I don't think you are.
00:01:13.140 So what if, what if with you going and pairing up with this man,
00:01:18.960 if he's got something else to him, he's got beautiful characteristics,
00:01:21.620 if he's got something in his spirit that you're like, oh my gosh, he's amazing.
00:01:25.160 He's like, what if you added value to him and you brought him up?
00:01:29.460 I am just, I'm not, I come from a hardworking family.
00:01:33.520 Like we're German.
00:01:34.400 Okay.
00:01:35.880 And, and.
00:01:36.720 Guten Tag.
00:01:37.920 Sprechen Deutsch, um bisschen.
00:01:39.140 Un, bitte.
00:01:41.780 But, but it's like, no, that just wouldn't work with my family.
00:01:45.720 That's okay.
00:01:46.180 So if he's a bum, no.
00:01:48.880 And that's okay too.
00:01:49.680 But I think that, you know, as, as our, as our individuals go on,
00:01:55.820 like we've all got our, our different things that we look for, right?
00:01:58.780 Like if you look for in a woman, someone to have that clean slate,
00:02:02.840 somebody that's going to be at home, raise the kids.
00:02:05.080 That's okay.
00:02:05.880 A lot of my male friends of which I have so many who are like family to me.
00:02:10.280 They're like my brothers, like honestly, like my brother.
00:02:12.460 Red flag.
00:02:13.180 Yeah.
00:02:13.540 Oh, I know you were going to say it.
00:02:15.240 But this is the thing, like these people are people who I love so much
00:02:19.960 and their opinions on all of this, this whole, um, movement is that
00:02:25.820 you're only valuing people based off of real skin deep stuff,
00:02:29.560 which is really sad for humanity.
00:02:31.760 But that's what everyone's selling these days.
00:02:33.520 Yeah.
00:02:33.620 But women base men off skin deep stuff.
00:02:35.240 I don't.
00:02:35.760 And a lot of people I know don't.
00:02:36.820 I'm generalizing.
00:02:37.640 They're generalizing.
00:02:38.200 They're generalizing.
00:02:38.980 How many, it like you saying just as a hypothetical, right?
00:02:42.080 You saying, oh, I need to, I need to date a woman who has been flown out
00:02:47.020 to all corners of the earth by a bunch of different men.
00:02:48.880 It's like me saying to you, you have to date a guy who's five foot one.
00:02:51.520 You have to.
00:02:52.320 But we are just generalizing this.
00:02:53.260 You have no choice about this.
00:02:53.980 You have to date a guy who's five foot one, irrespective of anything else.
00:02:56.520 But isn't the whole point of this conversation about modern day women?
00:03:01.240 And my theory is, is like, if we were still back in the day
00:03:04.880 where my mom was going out and doing everything and I could stay at home,
00:03:08.780 that's a lovely different story.
00:03:10.340 That's not the case.
00:03:11.160 Why do you think, why do you think that's not the case with her now?
00:03:13.680 Okay, now we're going to generalize because I've never met a man,
00:03:17.260 never, that has said, I'm happy for you to do that.
00:03:19.700 I will take the lead here and I will provide everything
00:03:21.920 and you can stay at home.
00:03:23.240 And that's generally.
00:03:24.600 That's a tragedy.
00:03:25.480 But that just means you can't get the guys that do that.
00:03:28.260 And it's usually based off of, it's based off of women's choices.
00:03:31.680 No, because there's plenty of men that want to provide.
00:03:33.800 Choices and status as well in your environment.
00:03:37.500 There's plenty of men that want to provide for their girls.
00:03:39.580 There's plenty of guys that want to do it.
00:03:41.540 I'm not saying that there aren't.
00:03:42.680 I'm just saying, I live in London, you live in London.
00:03:47.580 I've not come across that.
00:03:49.460 It's not typical.
00:03:50.680 You might be fishing in the wrong pond then.
00:03:52.220 Okay, maybe.
00:03:52.960 But again, if the whole conversation has been generalized,
00:03:55.680 that's the generalized thing about modern day dating.
00:03:58.220 So I understand when she's saying, as in my 20s,
00:04:01.460 I've had to go out and work my ass off
00:04:04.040 because I've never been able to rely on a man to provide.
00:04:06.540 When you were 18, 19, 20, 21,
00:04:08.500 did you ever try to date an older guy like 35?
00:04:11.240 About 30, yeah.
00:04:12.520 35, 40?
00:04:13.760 Not that old, no.
00:04:14.700 No.
00:04:14.940 Okay, it would have been an option for you.
00:04:17.640 18 to 22?
00:04:19.520 If you, if you.
00:04:20.500 I could have never dated any younger.
00:04:22.680 If you're having family, like things that you can't date a bum,
00:04:26.280 my mum might let me date a 40 year old at 18.
00:04:28.160 That's my family.
00:04:28.760 Maybe, okay, okay, let's do, let's do 22, 22 to 35.
00:04:32.860 I still think no.
00:04:34.180 No.
00:04:35.180 But again, that's all based on background and culture.
00:04:38.520 No, but I'm saying the whole,
00:04:39.740 the whole point is most women, young, attractive, in shape women,
00:04:43.280 which is all choices, have the option to stay at home
00:04:46.780 if they go for the right type of guy.
00:04:48.220 But a lot of times when we're young,
00:04:49.700 we're not going for the husbands.
00:04:51.700 Like it's.
00:04:52.220 Well, I did.
00:04:53.420 Me too.
00:04:54.440 I'm so thankful for my mentality because I did.
00:04:57.520 I was 19 dating a 30 year old man.
00:05:01.860 And it made sense because when I was,
00:05:04.460 I was already committed from young.
00:05:06.120 I was ready to make, I was already in that mindset already.
00:05:08.840 And I lost basically most of my friends because of that decision.
00:05:12.780 So I had to choose between being a committed 19 year old wife material
00:05:17.440 or be a young 19 year old girl.
00:05:21.000 And going out, basically the week that I met my son's dad,
00:05:24.560 he was, he was that, um, that week someone,
00:05:29.680 I just came back from like a vacation with like a guy that obviously I met.
00:05:33.240 We were seeing each other and stuff.
00:05:34.240 So that week I met my son's dad and I went with my son's dad
00:05:38.880 and he might not have, um,
00:05:40.980 firstly asked me to go to Dubai with him or this with him,
00:05:44.500 but I chose already.
00:05:45.500 This is the kind of guy that I need.
00:05:47.260 I don't need the guy that wants to buy me Chanel,
00:05:49.540 drive me in a Range Rover or all them stuff.
00:05:51.280 Because I know I could just already tell it's too good to be true.
00:05:54.800 You're selling something.
00:05:55.940 I'm buying something.
00:05:56.760 I'm selling something.
00:05:57.460 So it's just, it's not even, it didn't even start off right.
00:06:00.280 But so then I just kind of cut him off and went with, um,
00:06:03.280 my son's dad.
00:06:04.040 He wasn't my son's dad at the time, but, um, all my friends,
00:06:06.820 I lost a lot of friends.
00:06:07.660 They were laughing at me like, oh my God, you're so young.
00:06:09.540 You need to go out.
00:06:10.160 This guy.
00:06:10.500 I don't think they're real friends.
00:06:11.820 That's what I'm getting to.
00:06:13.160 They were telling me like, oh, you, we need to go out.
00:06:15.360 Why are you stuck in the house playing?
00:06:17.100 Why laughing at me?
00:06:18.420 And I was so embarrassed.
00:06:19.760 But at that point it still didn't, I was just strong.
00:06:22.200 You know what?
00:06:22.760 I don't think they weren't laughing at you because they,
00:06:25.020 they were looking down on you.
00:06:26.640 They were laughing at you because they were jealous of your ass.
00:06:28.280 Can I tell you the end of the story?
00:06:29.780 You were in love.
00:06:30.160 I don't even know the story.
00:06:31.280 I'm going to assume.
00:06:32.700 That's why, that's why I'm so proud to say this.
00:06:35.200 I chose him.
00:06:36.720 And, um, yeah, everyone was just like looking at us.
00:06:39.220 Why are you guys so in love in the relationship?
00:06:41.800 You've left all your friends.
00:06:42.860 Now you, we create, we started creating our own world and empire from then on,
00:06:46.600 even though we weren't perfect or in the right places, but it was the right time.
00:06:49.820 That's why I always say to people, everything is the timeframe.
00:06:52.260 It's not after you traveled.
00:06:53.420 It's not after you've done it.
00:06:54.700 It's the right time.
00:06:55.400 But the friends that were laughing at me, that didn't go out with every single time,
00:07:00.540 they were left with them men that had Range Rovers and stuff with like a kid or two here.
00:07:05.380 They don't know where the dad is here.
00:07:07.140 They're not acknowledging their kids.
00:07:08.560 Although me and my sons that we had ups and downs, he never, he never left my side.
00:07:13.300 He never left my son's dad, my son's side.
00:07:15.720 So now I'm laughing at them.
00:07:17.460 I'm like the time that you could have spent focusing on the right guys, you focused on lifestyle.
00:07:22.360 Well, and look at the lifestyle it gave you.
00:07:24.500 And the whole point is we all have choices.
00:07:26.400 We might've been given the wrong information and made bad choices based on the information we had at the time.
00:07:31.100 And you can't change it now.
00:07:32.280 But it's like at the end of the day, every, any, any young, attractive woman has the option to get married.
00:07:39.320 Yeah.
00:07:39.980 I'm wondering, and a question for the boys.
00:07:42.600 Hello.
00:07:43.440 Um, if you, hello, um, when you're looking for someone and you're looking for someone to love and to settle down with,
00:07:50.480 what are you looking for?
00:07:53.400 Like beyond having a baby, like personality, what are you looking for in a personality?
00:08:00.380 Virgin 18, not annoying cooks.
00:08:03.920 I said personality, not traits.
00:08:06.340 These are all, well, here's the thing.
00:08:08.160 That's a bit of trait.
00:08:08.960 As far as, what about, what about.
00:08:10.920 That's not a personality.
00:08:11.960 Being a virgin isn't a personality.
00:08:13.500 Oh, you'd be surprised.
00:08:14.480 Kind of is.
00:08:15.220 My whole thing is being a virgin.
00:08:17.160 I think you need to go online shopping for that one.
00:08:19.640 Because he's just listing them all out.
00:08:21.540 Yeah.
00:08:22.020 That's the dating profile.
00:08:24.440 Well, it kind of is a personality because it's based upon choices.
00:08:26.840 Yeah, but like, do you know what I mean by like personality?
00:08:29.540 So when I'm looking for someone, right, I want somebody that's going to be funny.
00:08:33.240 I want somebody that's going to be adventurous.
00:08:35.580 I want somebody that's going to go around the world with me and have a lot of fun and be like a best friend, right?
00:08:40.100 I want to have that like goofy motherfucker that I can roll around with and stuff and have fun with.
00:08:45.100 This is every Tinder profile ever.
00:08:46.640 Yeah.
00:08:47.480 In reality.
00:08:48.300 In reality.
00:08:49.640 I really wouldn't know.
00:08:50.780 Does this guy seem real?
00:08:52.820 Does this seem real to you?
00:08:54.480 I thought I had it.
00:08:55.780 I did.
00:08:56.660 I thought that I did have it.
00:08:58.080 I did actually have it.
00:08:58.760 I just think, I think sometimes like, you know, society tells women we can just have everything in a guy.
00:09:04.200 We want him to be stable, but we also want him to travel the world with us.
00:09:08.860 Yeah.
00:09:09.240 We did do that for five years.
00:09:10.880 I don't know what your personal stuff is, but you're not with him now.
00:09:14.100 So it didn't seem to work out.
00:09:15.720 I know it was pretty, it was a pretty shitty thing.
00:09:18.980 Like I'm someone that like, I sometimes think, oh shit, do I have to, and I hate the word settle for less because I feel like, oh my God, I'm taking on less.
00:09:29.280 But there is parts of me that I'm like, okay, I want a man to do this.
00:09:33.820 I kind of want him to, because I have a very flexible life with my job.
00:09:37.840 I've always worked for myself.
00:09:39.360 Like, but I'm free because, you know, work happens when it happens and that's good for me.
00:09:45.540 So I'm like, okay, Thursday night or Thursday daytime, who wants to go on a date?
00:09:49.400 And that's not possible for a man that's working hard or doing the things that I also want.
00:09:53.500 And so for, if I'm like, oh, I just want to go to Paris for the weekend, he might not be able to do that.
00:09:58.920 And I have to, I'm really trying to start thinking like, okay, well this, if I'm having to think of a man that I want for the rest of my life,
00:10:06.900 like where or what am I going to have to start compromising because it's not that I don't think I can have it all,
00:10:13.140 but I don't think all is like, um, sorry, my love, what she said, um, at the same time.
00:10:19.520 As many of you know, I was just banned on TikTok and we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform.
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