JustPearlyThings - I Interview a Dating Coach

00:00:00.000 Thank you.

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00:05:29.980 So I just thought I'd bring them on the show.

00:05:31.980 And if you guys have any questions, feel free to super chat and I will ask them to them

00:05:36.420 and then we'll just have a conversation about what's going on in the dating market.

00:05:39.760 So welcome to the show.

00:05:40.720 Thanks for having me, Pearl.

00:05:41.380 Thanks for having me, Pearl.

00:05:41.480 Thanks for having me, Pearl.

00:05:41.520 Thanks for having me, Pearl.

00:05:41.620 Really appreciate it.

00:05:42.540 Good to connect again after three, four years.

00:05:44.640 Yeah.

00:05:45.360 What did you think of, like, I'm sorry.

00:05:50.300 So when I went that weekend, could you tell how mind blown I was by the stuff?

00:05:56.100 I mean, you did say it?

00:06:26.100 It's like, no, like, just modeling, like, the...

00:06:38.440 Yeah, it was like, you know, the best looking guys in the world.

00:06:39.740 Yeah, exactly.

00:06:39.880 Yeah, right.

00:06:40.940 It's only like the very good looking guys.

00:06:41.340 Right.

00:06:41.920 It was like, yeah.

00:06:42.800 they kind of just had the balls to do it that's half the battle um because you got to understand

00:06:48.860 too like i don't care what you look like as a guy there's a girl that's always going to say oh that's

00:06:53.920 my type you know but guys let the opportunity just pass by them so half the work is actually

00:06:58.440 just having the balls to go up and say hi you know so how did you get into the dating space

00:07:03.580 yeah um it's actually a funny story so it was through a friend of a friend

00:07:08.300 um i went to a convention right and uh this guy he knew another youtuber which i think

00:07:14.780 you collabed at that point and that's how you and i met and he was like hey you're pretty good with

00:07:19.580 girls why don't you help me run this dating seminar and um you know he'll pay you a little money on

00:07:25.040 the side whatever and so we ran that dating seminar and from there i was like wait i could do this

00:07:30.000 better than the coaches out there i could teach better and that's kind of how my journey started

00:07:33.320 so yeah and it's interesting too because i think like people that aren't in this and even me before

00:07:39.020 i like went there you would think it's just like the the weirdest guys that go to this stuff

00:07:44.020 but i was like they're yeah i know there's

00:07:46.640 but i was like they're pretty normal to be honest and it's kind of interesting because it really can be

00:07:54.560 learned yeah it's a skill yeah right we're all products of our environment um whether you're

00:07:59.900 introverted or extroverted and communication attraction all that it's just kind of like

00:08:04.920 there's a part of extroversion right making a girl feel comfortable um reducing her anxiety that's like

00:08:10.520 more introverted side so it's all a skill everything you learn is a skill um and the average guy if you

00:08:16.000 look if you go outside you see the average guy half of them are going to have issues with dating

00:08:19.780 so it's a very much it's very much so like an average guy's problem for sure for sure so when you're

00:08:24.920 doing dating coaching what are like the archetypes of guys that tend to come to you so where do i

00:08:31.680 start uh you have a few guys but the two buckets we see the most is the guys who are inexperienced

00:08:39.640 and they just want to have fun with with girls they're like hey i've never had a girlfriend

00:08:43.320 what's a relationship like right they might still be virgins or you know they have no experience

00:08:49.600 the other bucket is the guys who are looking for a long-term relationship they're like hey i got

00:08:55.720 heartbroken i don't know what i'm doing i'm rusty maybe they're in their 40s heart divorce whatever

00:09:00.420 but they're actually looking for something serious so those are kind of like the two buckets that we

00:09:04.780 get for guys and when you get guys that are virgins are um close to it or close to it i don't know

00:09:11.320 like some guys you meet it's like they've hooked up with one girl one time something like that but

00:09:15.640 um but what is the issue generally is it like looks they're just super unattractive is it yeah

00:09:24.740 lack of social skills and is it worse with the younger guys because gen z is more online

00:09:30.320 no you're gonna be uh so yeah that's a good question you're gonna be surprised by this but

00:09:35.260 most of the guys who are virgins right now doesn't mean that they're terribly you know looking or that

00:09:42.540 they don't have any social skills what happens right now is because dating is getting harder

00:09:47.000 with time and social media and everything what's happening right now what we're seeing is you're

00:09:50.680 seeing a lot of guys who are focused on their career in college put their heads down they go

00:09:56.060 have a good career and they're maybe mid-management or something like that and they're like hey i've

00:10:00.040 been focused on my career so long i forgot i'm still virgin and that's kind of like well what's

00:10:04.660 going on how old are they by the time they like look up reality check 25 26 okay right at that point

00:10:11.240 you're like okay i'm 20 what's the average life expectancy 74 yeah so at 37 you're middle age

00:10:17.140 basically yeah right 25 26 is like i have 10 years to have fun and find my wife yeah so that's kind

00:10:22.820 of what we see with virgin's most part now okay so it's just guys that are super career oriented

00:10:27.460 because i think the idea online when you hear about like incels is like these losers in their room like

00:10:33.860 a dark you have a lot of those don't work that don't do any is that what you see at all too or

00:10:39.320 so like what if you had to like yeah you get 10 virgins that come to you um how would you divide

00:10:45.380 it generally so very much so 50 of those are very much i put my head down i've been working

00:10:52.140 i forgot i had to lose my virginity right the other half are you could say they're kind of like more on

00:10:58.260 the loser end but a lot of them do have their shit together they just lack some social skills they're

00:11:03.100 scared right they have some trauma that they're insecure they lack confidence right but it's

00:11:09.360 actually pretty surprising because you'd think like virgins are those guys but a lot of them are

00:11:14.340 just normal guys who haven't put themselves out there so um you might not know this but when you

00:11:19.680 go out you might be talking to a virgin he doesn't seem like one but he is right because he's afraid to

00:11:24.000 make the move so um it's surprising but that's about the split that we see yeah and how long does it

00:11:30.020 usually take to get a virgin laid three weeks okay three weeks is it that quick yeah three weeks

00:11:35.520 for example we connect online and you're like hey i'm never you know lost like just touched a girl

00:11:41.320 before it takes about three weeks because you got to understand they just don't understand women

00:11:45.500 right once they understand like okay how they think and stuff like that it's pretty easy

00:11:49.460 um but if i see them in person probably like six or seven days and are there any guys that just

00:11:54.800 can't be helped yeah yeah and is it like a looks thing mindset no there has to be some that you're

00:12:01.980 like you're just not good looking i'm like yeah you're done for um no so come on there's some guys

00:12:09.020 but it's not so much about the the bad looks or anything it's like they're just lazy oh okay you

00:12:15.300 know what i mean this is what i tell every guy it's like if you work out right if you take care of what

00:12:20.300 you eat and then um you're polished you're well tailored tailored clothes you look good you're

00:12:26.480 gonna be a seven for most girls you smell good good haircut that's all it takes but a lot of guys

00:12:30.320 are lazy and they can't even do that and so i mean as girls they see him like oh he doesn't even put

00:12:34.320 effort into himself right what does that say about a relationship with him right um so most guys are

00:12:40.040 just lazy so it's more of a lazy thing for guys more so i mean sure you'll get like i mean everything's

00:12:44.720 a bell curve right so you're gonna have some guys that are you know pretty hard to fix but usually

00:12:50.940 you could up yourself you know one or two points by working on yourself so and what do you see in

00:12:57.020 terms of like what type of girl is it usually just like the super slutty girls they lose their virginity

00:13:02.800 i'm just i'm just wondering like who do you tell them to go for the do they start with the fat shit like

00:13:07.460 yeah yeah they gotta start somewhere so the thing is um right now the hookup culture is so prominent

00:13:16.640 yeah right that i think the standard of being labeled you know like a slut or whatever has

00:13:23.100 gotten more lenient because it's so prominent but um just in general no they're losing it to

00:13:29.040 like average chicks right if he's 25 26 she's probably around the same age maybe a little younger

00:13:33.220 they meet at a bar and then they hook up um you know that's kind of how it works it's not she's

00:13:38.200 not a massive you know slut or whatever but she does you know engage in the hookup culture um i do

00:13:43.980 have clients who are like christian religious stuff like that that's got to be tough to work with no no

00:13:49.340 no no no no i find that they're like it's just um when i i talk to them they can't really get through

00:13:56.620 like the hookup culture stuff they don't have like resistance to it at all right what do you mean by

00:14:01.140 resistance um like i i find that a lot of them are kind of written with like guilt like they see

00:14:07.620 it as like manipulation in a way right i don't know if that's maybe i could be i don't coach men

00:14:12.960 so i could be you know yeah so psychology and attraction they're natural right um so it's just

00:14:21.480 persuasion to a degree but the really the guys that are tough to work with it's not because of the

00:14:26.560 religious background or anything like that it's just if they're not coachable got it right

00:14:31.060 think about it like kids you can't coach like a kid in little league is like oh fuck i can't work

00:14:36.560 with this kid right um so if they just are not coachable they don't listen they don't apply those

00:14:41.200 guys are hard to work with right but from a religious standpoint we approach them differently

00:14:45.460 right on how they should um engage in the dating scene but there's some nuances to that but

00:14:51.880 overall they they are workable probably some of my favorite people to work with okay so when it

00:14:58.020 comes to like the guys that are like want to go from incel to like in a relationship what's that

00:15:06.180 process usually like and so to like get married with kids yeah so this is what happens right because

00:15:13.480 i mean how does a guy get turned into an intel right that's overworking right yeah so yeah again like

00:15:20.900 i'm on a bell curve right the average guy if he doesn't seek help he's either gonna blame the

00:15:26.460 world and himself and his flaws for not getting any girls like oh well that guy is super tall that

00:15:31.680 guy's super chatty and i'm super short or the world hates me and you know you just pity right victim

00:15:36.860 mentality or he goes the other way and he blames all women he's like oh all women are whores hypergamous

00:15:42.900 and you know what i mean the whatever he turns into an incel or whatever yeah but um so they either

00:15:48.120 end up in those buckets that they don't fix themselves right so it's really hard to get

00:15:52.440 him out of that the way you get him out of that's first by getting rid of those beliefs saying okay

00:15:57.460 well you're wrong right make him realize that and then you count his small wins he has to get out

00:16:02.340 there when they turn into anciles is usually like a coping mechanism for them as they say oh well all

00:16:07.700 women are you know whatever horse and then you're like well are they go approach that one you don't

00:16:11.980 know oh i don't want to and then it's just a coping mechanism for them to avoid failure

00:16:16.040 um so that's what happens you have to make them realize that and we do that through a phase right

00:16:20.420 where we take them out and we make sure that we desensitize them to those approaches making sure

00:16:25.700 they realize oh women are actually cool you know because you guys are right it's god's greatest

00:16:30.900 invention so it's like um they have to realize that before they even think about uh hooking up

00:16:37.320 with a girl or dating one so it's hard but what are the other like limiting beliefs that they have

00:16:42.500 there's so so many so many time yeah so many so probably um i mean physical insecurities are huge

00:16:52.140 right and um you have to come to terms with it right when you're short okay guys who are short um

00:17:01.660 guys who are bold right they're insecure about it self-conscious so anything physically right that is

00:17:08.980 you can't fix those insecurities are really tough to work with right um so that's one of them uh

00:17:16.880 other self-leading beliefs are that they're not good enough okay and usually high performing men

00:17:22.400 have this problem because if you think about it high performing men they're they work hard because

00:17:26.900 they want to prove to the world that there's someone and it kind of almost stems from a chip on

00:17:31.560 their shoulder insecurity right and so when you analyze those guys what you see is that

00:17:36.500 they just don't feel like they're enough it prompts them to work a lot and be really successful to

00:17:41.380 feel like they're they're enough like to some degree in their career and their business or whatever

00:17:45.480 um but it doesn't translate with women right and so they become like a target or to exactly exactly

00:17:52.720 and so what ends up happening with those guys is when they talk to women they don't feel enough

00:17:57.380 and so they feel like they have to lead with the money or with the status and those self-leading

00:18:01.720 beliefs are tougher because that feeling of not being enough is what got them that success with

00:18:08.260 business you know what i mean and so for them in their mind is oh well that's how i got here

00:18:13.040 right and they don't realize with women it's like no you you have you're enough for her you're more than

00:18:17.540 enough right you don't have to lead with those things right um and from there you have other you

00:18:22.820 know other things that happen like approach anxiety lack of confidence with women stuff like that just

00:18:27.660 because you don't feel enough but that one's really uh really unique to the guys i work with

00:18:32.280 um other self-leading believes is if they're raised in a shitty family and they're like you're not shit

00:18:38.800 right we have a lot of those yeah and so they need a lot of reassurance right hey do you really think

00:18:44.480 that's gonna repel women exactly right because what happens when a guy needs reassurance what do you

00:18:48.980 think as a girl you yeah exactly oh yeah right insecurity clingy yeah right oh so nasty and so

00:18:55.760 those guys that we see that's another big bucket that we see right but those guys have never had

00:18:59.860 any reassurance in their life right that their parents never said good job be proud of yourself

00:19:04.220 right you know they're always saying that's it and in the world it's not like the world is overly

00:19:09.260 nice yeah either i mean when you're when you're a kid the world is nice to you but once you're an adult

00:19:14.360 like in your 20s or in your 30s no one's giving you that reassurance right so they never had it to

00:19:19.220 begin with and now they're seeking it um it doesn't help now they're looking for that in women right

00:19:24.440 in dating so those are kind of like the self-leading beliefs that we see that are really tough to work

00:19:29.220 with for sure so when you what are like the different types of women that you see out there

00:19:34.880 like like archetypes i guess yeah so you have so many um whatever archetype the girl is at the end of

00:19:43.160 day they all want to have fun okay that's huge but you have a lot different buckets right um

00:19:50.940 you have girls that are actually looking for marriage right and dating so those girls tend

00:19:59.040 to be a little bit on the older side they're like oh i'm actually looking for something serious

00:20:02.100 whatever yeah but you're right yeah but at the end of the day it's like if you understand attraction

00:20:08.540 right if you're financially stable you're a really good flirt right that's basically all a girl needs

00:20:16.060 right and if you make her have fun you elevate her mood she feels good with you she feels comfortable

00:20:21.460 um and you have a good decent career that's more than enough for any girl right and so even if she's

00:20:27.780 not looking for a relationship she's gonna look at that she's gonna say oh this guy can date him

00:20:31.000 right but that's one bucket the girls that are looking for long term maybe they might be looking

00:20:35.020 in the wrong places um but that's one bucket i just moved to new york city sex in the city type

00:20:41.420 right i want to have fun um you have that bucket as well those girls are um kind of like the girls

00:20:48.800 probably you've had on your pod more so all right and then they just never leave the lifestyle yeah so

00:20:54.060 that's that's tough right they never leave that lifestyle because it's so it's such a nice lifestyle

00:20:58.540 you get flown out free dinners blah blah blah everything you know validated um and then they

00:21:04.920 reach 30 32 and that's all pulled away do you think that like eight to tens belong to the streets

00:21:11.340 forever i've heard some puas say that i'm curious eight to tens belong like eight pluses because

00:21:16.300 they're so monetized even if they're not like i think mids are sluttier than eight pluses because

00:21:21.340 like that they have to be to compete but like yeah like because i had a pi on the show and he was saying

00:21:27.520 how like if they're super hot like they can do nothing and get things in return or the mids have

00:21:32.860 to put out yeah he was saying though that like the eight pluses um a lot of them will never like get

00:21:43.380 married or whatever because they're just so monetized for so long and i was curious if you

00:21:48.660 agreed or you did because you guys like the dating coaches are the ones like you guys get to see

00:21:53.460 firsthand what's going on because there's so many different guys you guys are getting information

00:21:58.540 from you know yeah there's i mean we run large sample sizes yeah yeah we see it all the time

00:22:04.460 yeah so um they are monetized to a degree but you will get the occasional eight nines and tens i think

00:22:12.180 this is an exception to that rule that maybe live in a city or a country where everybody's an eight or a

00:22:19.020 nine or okay right and they don't know that or you know they might be unaware of it um or they just

00:22:24.640 don't i think it requires also if you're a girl who's an eight nine or ten and you're monetizing

00:22:28.820 it i think it requires a level of ambition you know but you want well like there's a drive there as

00:22:34.480 well and a lot of girls might not have that drive that ambition and so you might meet a few of them

00:22:39.920 who don't have that they have a regular you know small instagram 500 600 followers you know

00:22:44.940 um so i think that's an exception to the rule but i think a seven can nowadays with social media and

00:22:52.040 the amount of simping that's going on a seven can monetize it too yeah i mean you have fives

00:22:57.220 monetizing it oh yeah i mean you get the filters you kind of just have to work around that yeah so

00:23:05.120 what changes have you seen in the last 10 years like with women monetizing more is that like a common

00:23:10.800 thing where like they'll approach a girl and for me when i was interviewing i couldn't believe how

00:23:15.800 many people had only fans of the women that seemed really normal and is that something you guys have

00:23:21.040 come across or is that because people will say go touch grass it's just your podcast i'm curious what

00:23:26.940 you've seen on like the ground level um i mean i think it definitely i mean yeah you definitely

00:23:33.140 attract that type of of audience right but from what i've seen there's definitely an increase it's not

00:23:38.880 nearly as many as you think but you definitely do see an increase now was there a point that they

00:23:43.880 might have had one and then they failed i don't know right i can't tell you that but they said i need

00:23:50.920 to find these girls where are they right i'll help you find them brother and so um we have seen an

00:23:58.780 increase in that over the last 10 years but what we've seen an increase the most that i think is is

00:24:03.900 really damaging is the amount of bad advice between women's circles because women's circles

00:24:09.280 are growing stronger i think that's how feminism is materializing is you're getting four or five

00:24:14.260 groups of girls and they're a girls group and they all give each other shitty advice you know and now

00:24:20.080 you have a lot of those groups that are very hard to break or they just don't look at men as

00:24:24.060 they just don't respect men in general right their opinion or anything and so i think that's what

00:24:28.960 we're seeing an increase in or what we've seen in the last 10 years whereas before it was more so

00:24:33.260 like oh this is my group and you know they're a couple they're a couple and it's like a couple's

00:24:37.500 group more so maybe there's a third wheel here and there but now it's like more single groups

00:24:41.640 yeah that hang out so that's kind of like a big increase in change that we've been seeing

00:24:45.600 and so how does that um translate into like the places that men should approach with because it used

00:24:52.380 to go through like social group so where would you suggest they approach now social groups or third

00:24:57.120 places right like universities churches that used to be like the the number one place to approach

00:25:01.340 now all online now all it's yeah it's majority online but what i'll tell guys is you can meet a

00:25:07.800 girl online but if you don't have your communication skills you're gonna have to go out with her and

00:25:11.180 see in person you might look cool online and then you're gonna meet her and oh he's a loser

00:25:15.600 you know so anywhere you see a girl you're attracted to it could be the grocery store the target

00:25:21.320 the gym the club the bar the coffee shop yeah whatever lounge cocktail lounge cigar lounge

00:25:27.440 doesn't matter she could be your you know your hostess your waitress wherever but i i advise

00:25:32.380 guys to always go for it always because you don't know when you're gonna see her again so it's anywhere

00:25:36.780 i don't really want to say there's a particular venue to do it i just want to say just be ready

00:25:40.880 at all times just be ready at all times um obviously if you're looking for hookups bars clubs those

00:25:44.980 are the best um if you're looking for something serious go to events and meetups and activities

00:25:50.940 that fit with your lifestyle you know if you're into cycling go to cycling classes right um if

00:25:57.300 you're into running run clubs are huge now whatever fits your lifestyle you know um if you're into the

00:26:03.140 gym go to the mr olympia or something like that okay and then approach women there something that

00:26:07.520 fits your lifestyle but if you're looking for hookup bars clubs nothing beats that online is also really

00:26:12.500 easy to hook up with girls that you meet online like hinge your tinder all those things um are the guys

00:26:18.960 now is it mostly like drinks i've heard some guys are doing like movies at their place and they go

00:26:23.880 straight to is that a ducy that is that thing so like what's the what's the close rate usually of

00:26:31.800 good question so for the average guy because i talk to guys like this all day literally like three or

00:26:36.520 four yeah that i'm talking to um the average guy i kid you not gets very few matches well yeah of

00:26:44.420 course yeah and out of that maybe he gets one date two dates a month right and then out of that maybe

00:26:52.180 he sleeps with one every three months okay a couple months right one of the things i like this is just

00:26:57.700 once or do they keep coming i've heard some guys their problem is like they can sleep with them but

00:27:02.180 they can't get the girl to commit well i was like what are we living in this world right where the

00:27:08.320 girls just walk you away after giving up the ship was telling me about one of his friends he's like

00:27:12.280 yeah he'll bang these like hot women and they just he like wants a girlfriend yeah and he's like they

00:27:18.680 won't stick around yeah the girls are the dogs nowadays yeah the girls are the dogs i'm like damn they

00:27:23.880 won't what a what a sick society we live in no but um he's like you don't want to get breakfast

00:27:28.780 i'm yearning for a relationship he's like you don't want to like i'm just a walking stick of

00:27:35.580 me for you unbelievable yeah um no but it is tough for for guys i think retaining the relationship i

00:27:44.000 think what happens with that the guys that are saying that are the guys who only get one girl i

00:27:48.940 think so it's uh it's already a biased pool right because it's the guys that got one girl and they're

00:27:54.660 so clinging and hung up on her because they're that's the only option they had and they're like oh i

00:27:58.460 can't retain them because they only have that option right but if they had more options i could

00:28:03.300 guarantee you they would probably retain all of them no this like i don't i don't know if you've

00:28:07.720 seen this but like i did it i had guys on twitter send me their stats of like they slept with this

00:28:14.220 many women yeah and how many like wanted relationships and i found that like some guys it would be they

00:28:20.100 would all all the girls they slept with wanted relationships and some guys it was like out of 50 like

00:28:25.020 none none so it was it was very polarized it was binary that's it that's the numbers i got

00:28:29.580 you you you see more than i do yeah so what i see with with the guys is

00:28:33.580 i mean if you're if you understand women properly yeah right and she sleeps with you she's gonna want

00:28:40.540 to come back all the time right i know i could hit up for example right now right i could up any girl

00:28:46.640 right and she'd be cool even if i spoke to her in a year right so i know they all do want a

00:28:52.240 relationship so once you understand women properly and not just to hook up with them

00:28:56.040 right if you look at dating like i'm gonna talk to her like i want a long-term relationship and

00:29:02.400 talk to her in that manner a hookup's gonna happen it's bound to happen it's a it's a side effect

00:29:07.620 of being good long-term relationship material it's a hookup right um so i think guys who can't retain

00:29:14.800 that that girl it's i i think it's also it also merits to look at their at the genetic pool

00:29:21.300 you know what i mean it might be guys who are you know better looking taller but they might not be

00:29:27.500 good long-term relationship material like the bartender that's stuff exactly where the girl's

00:29:32.060 like yeah he said he was a dj yeah he's so hot or he has like that clout yeah yeah where i kind of

00:29:39.180 want that experience yeah and so that's all they want from him right but i could give you like if

00:29:43.700 he was a dj but he ran when he talked to her he was like he didn't talk about being a dj just talked

00:29:48.660 treated her like a long-term relationship she would have came back oh really yeah 100 but i think that's

00:29:54.080 what happens is like those guys that are saying that they're kind of like that fun experience genetic

00:29:58.620 type pool and then the girl has fun right but if the girl would have realized oh my god not only is

00:30:03.460 he a dj not only is he a bartender but he's also like super sweet and i could see a relationship

00:30:08.900 with him then they would have stuck around right that's usually what i see when because i do coach

00:30:13.960 guys but they have that problem where they're good looking guys six foot four right total chats are

00:30:18.580 like girls they just don't want to you know stick around and i get to know them like well yeah because

00:30:23.660 you're a douchebag right you got to treat them better right you got to be a long-term relationship

00:30:27.260 material and they're not used to that because girls just they don't have to do that right whereas a guy

00:30:32.120 who doesn't get that he has to lead with that oh so he's they're probably like they're something's

00:30:36.700 wrong with their long-term personality exactly it's like they're attractive oh so they're

00:30:41.320 attractive in the beginning but the long-term personality think about it like you go to work

00:30:46.180 right you're wearing your work hat yeah and then you come home now you have to change her to your

00:30:49.180 husband hat yeah right it's the same thing in long-term relationship you have your hookup hat the fun

00:30:53.600 flirty guy oh i just want to you know fuck this guy he's so fun he's so hot he's so flirty but then you

00:30:59.100 have those serious conversations with her where like it makes her feel like oh we're talking about

00:31:04.580 my past the future he's got ambitions i could see myself as part of his journey right he switched

00:31:11.320 hats from that you know fun flirty fuck boy to that okay he could be boyfriend dating guy yeah right

00:31:17.720 a lot of guys then she'll be disappointed yeah and then he's like never mind i'm gone right but

00:31:24.380 that's why they can't retain because they forget to switch ads yeah they forget to switch ads

00:31:28.280 sell the dream we're talking about that um sell the dream do you ever like so if you have a girl

00:31:35.060 that like you kind of want to go away you ever just get like douchier like i'll tell you a story

00:31:40.240 i'll tell you a story so there's a point there's a point in my life where i was like i don't know if

00:31:47.120 i should just ghost the girls or tell them the truth and i i asked the girls like do you want me to

00:31:51.700 ghost here do you want me to tell you the truth and she's like tell me the truth i told her the

00:31:54.880 truth she goes i would rather you've ghosted me what did you say um i was like you know um i don't

00:32:01.280 see myself with you long term it was already like six seven months i was and she's already getting

00:32:05.480 like what are we yeah and she's like i don't see myself you know with you long term i just

00:32:09.600 you have a lot of issues yeah what were the issues she didn't have a father figure okay yeah

00:32:16.520 right and it's just like it's just a lot of work you know um and i'm willing to put in the work but

00:32:21.700 not ask like it's too much right and i do feel like you're you know conflict resolution it's not

00:32:27.600 it's not there right the accountability is not there and so i was honest and um she's like yeah

00:32:33.600 i'd rather you just ghosted me but i think because i told her that she she actually ended up being a

00:32:38.160 long-term relationship so i think i helped her wait you dated her after that no no she ended up being

00:32:42.280 oh she dated someone she dated someone else exactly and so i think i helped her i like to

00:32:46.760 no she should right what a jerk uh but yeah so you know i do think it helps telling him the truth

00:32:56.600 it definitely does hurt yeah so um so do you now like yeah what do you do now do you um

00:33:03.580 most girls i just kept being saying like hey i just don't see us long term most girls will

00:33:08.680 understand they don't want to know the truth as long as you tell them that they're okay with that

00:33:13.060 they're like oh okay i get it you know and how long does it take for them to like ask

00:33:17.680 some girls are the more the faster you let them into your lifestyle the faster they'll ask

00:33:26.120 right so i'll give you one example on the very fast end like let's say a month or two

00:33:33.020 she's coming over once a week right and if you have a work trip maybe you took her with you to

00:33:38.380 work trip right maybe you're going on to dinner once a week and she's staying over and now you

00:33:44.020 see her twice a week right and then you're going over to her house right um you talk to her about

00:33:49.620 your business or work or whatever the more you let her into your life the faster they'll ask for a

00:33:54.440 title so if you don't let her into your life as much you take her out to dinner once but she's never

00:33:58.920 seen your house your apartment right she's never stayed over oh you get what i'm saying um and

00:34:04.340 you're kind of like slower to bring her into your lifestyle right she doesn't meet your parents or

00:34:10.360 like she doesn't even know a thing about your parents then it takes longer but on average

00:34:14.800 probably like seven eight months is when they're like what are we it's actually longer than i thought

00:34:19.680 yeah yeah but i mean you're just stretching that you know just stringing them along right it's kind

00:34:27.340 of like you're giving them relationship benefits without the title yeah it's giving someone a

00:34:31.220 title at work without the salary increase the journey maybe someday and so that's kind of how

00:34:38.680 it works right um do you ever get like them vindictive because like i know a lot of guys are

00:34:43.580 kind of do you know you know like women are not have you watched cga ever no so he has this um

00:34:50.840 he has this phrase called all men pay okay so like even yeah because the women like eventually

00:34:58.220 will make you pay yeah yeah yeah do you like do you ever find that like a vindictive girl

00:35:02.880 like tries to ruin your reputation doesn't get crazy yeah all the time

00:35:08.220 no listen they said never show her where you live

00:35:13.800 is that a strategy no so like to like i mean if you're gonna hook up with their girl she's probably

00:35:19.700 gonna take her back to your place well you go to hers right you go to hers but this is what i'll

00:35:24.380 tell guys it's always safer to go back to yours because you don't know you know who might be crazy

00:35:29.280 she might have a crazy ex for all you know oh okay so it's always safer at your place but um

00:35:34.160 that that being said and done uh what was the question to vindictive right yeah um yeah so girls

00:35:40.640 once they're in love with you they will go above and beyond to make sure no one else can get you

00:35:46.460 and one of those ways is by ruining your reputation right because think about it they can't do anything

00:35:51.040 physically but they can sure as hell hurt your reputation your brand right i mean you see this

00:35:57.060 throughout history right name a successful man that hasn't been women do it to me and i'm not even

00:36:01.300 dating them it's insane they have so much power um but yeah name a successful man that hasn't been

00:36:08.360 hurt by that stuff it's almost impossible do you ever get guys that are really like neurotic about

00:36:13.500 that happening like they don't want to approach because of that sort of thing yeah you definitely

00:36:17.780 have some ptsd in there um but you have to realize too if you go in with with good intentions like

00:36:25.900 not being a psychopath right i'm gonna sleep with as many women as possible and you go in with like

00:36:32.080 okay i'm gonna treat her right right and i'm gonna do all these things and make her feel good

00:36:36.920 and i'm actually looking if i sleep with her i'm actually looking for a relationship if you go

00:36:40.420 with those intentions nothing's gonna happen women are very understanding where it's like oh okay

00:36:45.360 you know i'm not going to do anything crazy most women won't do anything crazy but the ones that do

00:36:50.100 do something crazy you know it's a tail end what's like the craziest thing that's happened to you um

00:36:55.540 i had a girl who put she put all when i had my personal instagram she put all the girls that were

00:37:03.820 following me and all the girls i was following she put them like in her close story and then she put

00:37:08.920 like pictures of me and her um just be like oh i'm so glad we're dating just like a bunch of stuff

00:37:14.280 and then she dm'd every single one boom boom boom she's like hey do you know how do you know jesse

00:37:18.560 did they respond yeah a lot of them responded but a lot of them a lot of them were cool with me and

00:37:23.180 they're like she's weird why is she doing this should i block her and i was like yeah just block her

00:37:26.680 but um after that some girls posted me on tiktok just be like like you know this guy was late to my

00:37:33.520 date and i didn't know she posted me until like someone sent me the video i was like oh great

00:37:37.220 wait that you were that was it that was late to the date that's it yeah how late were you so

00:37:42.680 like an hour okay but like yeah they got a tiktok video yeah and she got like two like a lot of did

00:37:49.500 you hook up with her yeah we've been dating for like for a month or so okay for like three dates

00:37:55.000 but still like that's crazy you know what i mean that is for an hour and like i thought she was cool

00:37:59.840 like i've known her so women if they are neurotic and they are crazy they are crazy they will do it

00:38:06.480 right but the average is not are there like signs that you look for early on yeah like so what how

00:38:13.340 how tempered her reactions are you know so maybe not to things you do but to things in during her day

00:38:20.620 okay so if she's out and about right and they're late on her starbucks or she's getting lashes done

00:38:28.360 and they don't do them well and she overreacts like overreacts oh she gets really mad she gets

00:38:33.420 really mad that means her emotions fluctuate to one end or the other right it's kind of like bipolar

00:38:37.320 a little bit um but that's that's really what it is right um tattoos are a huge sign of that as well

00:38:43.600 so what's the worst ones have you seen any really crazy ones i personally don't because i i steer clear

00:38:53.420 of them yeah i do know guys who have they said that's the ssris yeah you're looking girls medicine

00:39:00.620 low key though yeah go in the cabinet see what you find um take pictures google it real quick but

00:39:10.140 yeah there's i mean yeah those girls that are crazy are extremely crazy yeah right they're like

00:39:16.460 psychotic have you had like clients go through that at all like yeah well what i see is because

00:39:24.000 guys don't open up much right so i have to kind of like dig it out of them but the most common ones

00:39:29.200 we see with those type of women just like very neurotic women is guys who went through like a divorce

00:39:35.680 like a really rough divorce right um in their 40s or 50s and they tell me about it and the whole time

00:39:43.860 they don't realize they're dating just a super narcissistic neurotic female right you see that

00:39:49.020 a lot but they're blind to because that's the only girl they've ever dated they think all girls are

00:39:52.320 like that it's a norm right but you also have guys who attract that type of girl because they

00:39:58.500 are neurotic themselves okay because you you attract what you what you are and so you see that mostly

00:40:05.100 kind of like in the industry right like with bartenders bottle girls that type of industry like

00:40:10.760 you know um that's where a lot of neurotic people hang um just because like it's very

00:40:15.480 yeah it's just very dopamine driven oh okay you know i mean like that those type of of places um

00:40:22.140 and it's okay to overreact in those places you know because everything's so loud all the time people

00:40:28.380 are drinking you can kind of just say you were drunk exactly yeah it's it's there's always some

00:40:32.700 thing you could blame it on right well i was drunk or he was just the or you blame it on the other

00:40:38.380 person right it's just like i had such a long day and like it makes it acceptable to be neurotic

00:40:42.840 right and so that's what you see in the industry a lot those people so the average guy you're working

00:40:48.760 with he's getting laid like once every three months yeah some some so i would say from three dates a

00:40:54.660 month one of them he gets laid three dates and uh yeah basically okay because i asked so the first

00:41:00.840 question i ask guys when they call or when they when they contact me is are you looking for something

00:41:06.140 casual or something long term right well something casual when's the last time you got that

00:41:11.760 most common answers is around the three month to over a year what percent are looking for casual

00:41:19.060 versus long term so the answer the most common answer is i want something casual that develops

00:41:24.960 into something long term well yeah yeah that's what they want i mean isn't that kind of what people

00:41:28.540 are yeah that's what people want but it's it's kind of it's almost like a trick question in a way

00:41:33.100 um but yeah that's the most 80 of guys are like yeah and then i would say i find that guys want

00:41:40.620 relationships more than women nowadays yeah yeah yeah nowadays they do it's too much free shit for

00:41:46.320 being a single girl yeah a ton um but a lot of guys struggle with that you know they struggle

00:41:51.920 with hooking up let alone having a relationship yeah so yeah but so your average guy he's getting

00:41:58.420 laid at once every three months and is it once once twice a year holy shit that's like nothing yeah

00:42:04.420 it's nothing you got to keep in mind i talked to probably messaging right on instagram right there

00:42:10.380 they're always messaging probably like a hundred to two hundred guys okay out of those maybe four or

00:42:16.580 five had to hook up within the last couple weeks just think about that yeah the rest has been

00:42:21.760 between over three months or over a year it's it's rough and so the guys that are doing really well

00:42:27.760 what's their like the guys that are doing really well like what would you say is someone doing really

00:42:34.740 well i mean right if the average guy is getting two three lays a year right you double that that's

00:42:42.420 really well right you're doing really you're getting laid once every two months getting laid once twice

00:42:48.020 every month you're doing extremely well but the more well they do the better position they are in

00:42:54.320 the genetic pool and it's it's the direct correlation it's kind of like common sense um so those guys

00:42:59.920 never they don't need help with women yeah right um it's the guys that are like normal guys that want

00:43:06.500 to go from like a five to an eight or like a five to a seven exactly where it's like they're not going

00:43:11.480 to be selected if they don't have good hygiene good where everything has to be where if a guy's like a

00:43:16.460 chad it's like you can do anything and they're like yeah and the easiest way to tell if you're a chad

00:43:20.440 or not is to go on on hinge or on tinder yeah right the number one filter on hinge is height

00:43:25.900 yeah it's just like can't you just lie if i was a guy if i was a guy i would just lie but then what

00:43:32.620 you see her but if she's like five like women don't know height um yeah but like if you're five

00:43:38.740 five you're not going to know the difference right so how much let's do a little test so how much would

00:43:43.080 be acceptable for you to lie about i mean i would i would just go all the way i just put it to six if

00:43:50.280 i was six if he was how tall like like five eight four inches right yeah i'll tell you i'm six right

00:43:56.560 say the guy was six he shows up he said he was six four you'd be able to tell right away most girls

00:44:02.160 are five but i'm tall though that's different no but most girls are five eight five what five six

00:44:06.220 five six let's say most girls are five five five five yeah right if he says five nine or you know

00:44:12.120 he's five five he says five nine the problem is the guys that that have to lie if they did to get

00:44:18.020 more matches are not average height average height's not a problem it's oh it's that they're

00:44:23.340 it's below it's super short right so the height it doesn't work right the average guy sure he lies

00:44:28.560 but he didn't have to lie in the first place right because it's like average height it's okay

00:44:31.980 like five ten to six one exactly that's fine yeah yeah but if you're just they lie though that much

00:44:38.860 you might as well right no for guys five ten the best thing the best thing i'm like i was five ten

00:44:44.180 if i was a guy you just round it up you could round it up right because if they have all the

00:44:48.200 filters at six wouldn't you want to be you could tell me you're the coach yeah um well this is what

00:44:53.760 guys should do right guys should approach in person first and use hinge tender as a secondary tool

00:44:59.940 and the way i tell guys to run it is go get your main girls from doing your approaches at your meetups

00:45:07.980 during the day when you go out at night with your buddies whatever that's where you're going to meet

00:45:11.760 majority of the women that are going to date you right because they're correlating to your lifestyle

00:45:16.160 but use tinder and hinge to kind of practice right maybe set up a date or two monday through wednesday

00:45:22.320 right so it's just a secondary tool it's not your end-all be-all right so there's if it's your

00:45:27.440 secondary tool i don't see the point in lying and just getting comfortable with yourself you know i'm

00:45:31.920 saying because really you you know by doing it during the day during the night during your meetups

00:45:37.480 right wherever you go for whatever events you know that you're enough when you approach these

00:45:42.460 girls well i'm 5 10 when i approach these girls in person i know i'm enough as a guy so you'll you

00:45:47.280 won't feel the need to lie you know because you're proving to yourself i'm the guy um but if you want

00:45:52.480 to lie about it you go ahead it's not gonna hurt you but if the girl does there's a problem when the

00:45:56.120 girl does say something what is he gonna say oh i freak out oh no it's uh i'm six foot with this or

00:46:02.800 whatever breaks his frame now he's like like awkward so if you're gonna lie be a goddamn good liar

00:46:07.540 right because then because then she's gonna say yeah no i'm six foot what are you gonna yeah

00:46:13.660 move on right no it's the truth so if you're gonna do it don't be all you know pits pandering

00:46:20.360 around um when she asks you yeah you have to stand up with it yeah yeah so how long does it take

00:46:27.840 like i know you said a virgin can lose his virginity in three how long does it take for a guy to go

00:46:32.080 from like nothing to expert level i guess three months three really three months three months no

00:46:38.260 way that quick yeah that quick so i mean the way i i run it right so you got to think about it like

00:46:42.760 this they want to know why they shouldn't just rent the women like buy them like hookers because

00:46:47.740 that's just a slippery slope right yeah i think if you're willing to buy hookers you have a deeper

00:46:53.520 problem yeah it's a deeper problem than that um i mean it depends on on your goal too right right if

00:47:01.960 you want a family buying hookers is not the way to go i would recommend i mean i'm not here to

00:47:07.900 yeah it's not the way to go um being transactional with women is not the way to go there's a difference

00:47:13.520 between an emotional financial transaction yeah at least when there's an emotional transaction

00:47:17.260 she's doing some emotional investment into you as well right and so the loss if there is a loss

00:47:22.260 it's it's parody why do you think guys spend so much time on women that clearly don't want them

00:47:28.200 like why like because sometimes i'll just watch i'm like why are you she doesn't like you yeah you

00:47:36.500 know what i mean like like there'll be guys that'll wait like months to have a girl sleep with like the

00:47:41.180 biggest one that i've seen these guys that they think the girl's like different or special and she's

00:47:47.080 like waiting for sex and i'm like dude no you're being you're naive yeah you're naive you're a naive

00:47:51.380 young boy and it's crazy because the guys you think like oh what when you think of a naive man

00:47:56.760 what what age range do you think of i think a two i think of either under 27 yeah or very religious

00:48:06.400 and just hasn't partaken in anything right the average guy yeah who's not really the average guy

00:48:11.700 it's not religious yeah they're naive up until their late 30s because i've talked to guys when

00:48:16.720 i message them right whatever they're like i'm still trying to get with this girl i've known her

00:48:20.320 for a year or two how old are you 37 38 no way yeah so men are so naive nowadays right and to answer

00:48:27.720 your question they get so hung up on one girl that doesn't want them because that's the only girl

00:48:34.840 that gives them time that gives them attention because guys they don't realize this but guys

00:48:40.300 do need emotional reassurance as well almost right they do need emotional attention almost

00:48:46.280 right and that girl's the only one that talks to him and so in his mind like that's the only

00:48:51.300 opportunity that i have to make anything happen because i don't know any other girls that's the

00:48:55.540 only girl i know and that's the only girl that talks to me and so they approach it from a scarcity

00:48:59.840 mindset because they don't know any other girls and so they're so hung up on her they come to me

00:49:03.960 there's no no other none they come to me and they say yeah that well this is a girl i really

00:49:09.780 want her i've known her for six years and i the first question i asked was well how many other

00:49:13.280 girls are you talking to zero yeah why because i'm scared your real issue is not that you can't get

00:49:19.940 her the real issue is that you can't get anyone you know and so that's that's the mentality that

00:49:26.400 these guys have and it's really a scarce mentality right it's kind of like going fishing and then

00:49:32.320 looking for one fish even though there's a thousand fish out there but no i want that one

00:49:36.780 right because that one is the only one that bites my bait what what are you talking about it doesn't

00:49:41.440 make any sense so that real problem is that they can't get anyone that they can't build attraction

00:49:45.360 that they're afraid of failure right they're afraid to get rejected a lot of a lot of stuff

00:49:51.180 well do you think that because you ever see guys like even though they have other choice they still

00:49:57.340 hyper fixate on like one yeah when you're in love yeah yeah but it's like

00:50:02.160 sometimes like the simping is just the simping is different yeah right simping is should be illegal

00:50:09.500 it should be illegal yeah it should be jail time um because think about it yeah and what did i what

00:50:17.860 did i tell you yesterday what did i say i said if you have social media as a guy yeah and you're

00:50:21.880 not monetizing it right or you're not proactive yeah what are you doing if you're not proactively

00:50:26.060 working to make make it good right i mean like make a presence on social media i mean

00:50:31.080 something meaningful not just good pictures and shit but if you're not doing those two things

00:50:35.980 delete it why because you're brain rotting watching dumb stuff and you're liking pictures

00:50:40.880 of girls that don't even know who you are yeah right and so that's how the simping starts even

00:50:45.780 though you might not be a simp right you might not be that simpy you you like one picture of a

00:50:50.180 girl a week that's enough because that adds up right there's a million men that are single

00:50:54.320 you know yeah and i guarantee you a lot of them are doing it if you go on the average guy's

00:50:58.780 explore feed what are you gonna see all right probably like hot girls do you know i heard

00:51:04.260 that even when men downvote the stuff it still like goes on there yeah because social media is

00:51:09.600 like it's either you hate it or you like it yeah and so we're only gonna show you either yeah right

00:51:14.740 and so if you go walk down the street this would actually be a cool video walk down the street and

00:51:19.220 see let me see your explore page most men will have some sort of ass on there yeah right so um i say

00:51:26.440 delete it if you're not monetizing it if you're not working on it delete it and go find women

00:51:30.520 the right way and that will bring balance back to the dating space do you see like a lot of guys

00:51:35.420 using their phone as like a crutch for like the lack of female intimacy especially with like gen z

00:51:41.180 becoming more online is that a problem for you like anti-social guys yeah so i mean right now the

00:51:47.240 guys that i'm working with a lot right i think gen z they're coming into the picture right the youngest

00:51:51.740 guy we're working with is 19. okay a very smart 19 year old guy right because he's already like i

00:51:56.760 want to figure shit out right yeah so he's very smart you know gen z but the average age we deal

00:52:01.100 with is 25 to probably 40. okay that's a good range of guys that we have on the calls but i do think that

00:52:08.100 the more prevailing social media gets the better it is as disguising your lack of communication skills

00:52:13.480 right your insecurities all these things um and so i think it'll it'll come to light we'll see how it

00:52:19.640 materializes but right now gen z is like up and coming they're like coming for the guys yeah

00:52:24.100 they're coming into the dating scene i think gen z girls are even worse in in social media spaces

00:52:30.500 oh yeah right just social media is way worse on women yeah yeah and so these gen z guys are they're

00:52:37.460 in for a rude awakening because all those gen z girls they've been on onlyfans for a while they're

00:52:41.900 getting snatched up by you know the older guys who don't want anything serious now they they're in

00:52:47.060 their 30s financially stable they're having fun they're like i made it right this girl's 22 she's

00:52:52.580 super hot right and she cares about status and stuff i could take her out over here and so that's

00:52:57.780 kind of what we say oh actually i'm curious what you think of the stat where it's like twice as many

00:53:02.480 women under 30 are in relationships than men under 30 do you think it's because the women are dating

00:53:08.780 the same guys or because they're dating older or both so you could be both i'm just i'm just curious

00:53:15.560 your thought being like in the field yeah i think they're dating older yeah for sure um it's really

00:53:21.400 hard for i think once a girl leaves excuse me once a girl passes age 22 23 dating within your age group

00:53:29.040 leaves the picture because what happens with girls in college right they're still in college around that

00:53:34.300 time and if you stay in the same city your college group will still be to a degree like the same right

00:53:41.080 same with high school sweethearts and stuff but you get judged if you date outside of your social

00:53:47.020 circle at that age you know well he's not even the fraternity or whatever right and so it's it's not as

00:53:52.940 acceptable to date from the outside but once you're in the real world now it's fair game yeah right like

00:53:59.260 if you go approach girls in the college campus that's fucking weird right right but if you go approach

00:54:03.980 a girl at the club who just graduated who's 24 that's fine yeah right and so you have these guys and

00:54:09.680 that's kind of like where the competition really begins so what you see a lot too is um these

00:54:14.360 younger chicks dating older guys and i think most girls that we talk to it's the age range that they

00:54:19.940 date is always i think they cap it at like 10 years like if she's 25 that's what i've seen about too

00:54:24.480 about 10 years 25 oh uh i'll only date over to 35 yeah which is fair i think that's a pretty good range

00:54:30.020 but yeah like when when i was single like the cap was 20 and i think i was abnormal like i feel like

00:54:35.960 girls thought i was weird yeah like i wouldn't go past 20 yeah as we say but like 10 is the most

00:54:42.240 common i see and what do you think about um a pi came on and he said that he would guess what was oh

00:54:51.540 my god i can't remember the number off the top of my head he thinks that up to it was roughly 40 percent

00:54:57.300 of women under 30 that are not fat have done some sort of sex work if you include things like sugar

00:55:03.920 dating occasionally having sex for rent okay only fans selling nudes on instagram do you think

00:55:11.340 that is accurate or do you think he's kind of overblowing it i think it's overblowing it okay

00:55:18.280 the thing with these studies that i'll say well he's he didn't have a study it was just like because

00:55:25.380 he vets his job was to vet girls yeah to marry them okay yeah so like it's like if you had a girl you

00:55:30.860 wanted to marry you bring him to him and he says so what i would say is trends move fast and societal

00:55:37.860 norms move fast as well right where at it wasn't accepted five ten years ago to post a nude online

00:55:43.920 right everybody freaked out about nudes now they're selling it for three dollars right do you know it's

00:55:47.720 crazy too i was just at like um a ufc like jim doing some interviews there and they were telling

00:55:54.700 me like i was asking the guys would you date a girl with like an only fan like if she had one

00:55:58.840 before and i couldn't believe how many of the guys said they would and i'm like don't you guys

00:56:04.620 have like other like choices you also got to realize that i'm like it could just be entertainment

00:56:09.140 because i know in entertainment it's like a little different but i'm like really you gotta realize

00:56:14.460 guys who fight they they're not the most normal guys they're not no they're totally not but i just

00:56:24.440 kind of was thinking i'm like you guys have the ring girls throwing i'm like i'm not dumb like

00:56:29.880 you guys have why would you yeah they're like yeah as long as she deleted it i'm just gonna believe

00:56:37.500 it like it's gotten normalized so fast but like they're like as long as she didn't have like

00:56:42.860 actual sex on camera so i'm like jesus christ they're okay with it and so that's okay but like

00:56:49.120 they would accept if you're you know they would accept it it's just it's just becoming a norm

00:56:52.860 yeah and so that's what i mean where it's like if he's vetting these girls i think it's moving so

00:56:57.920 fast and technology moves so fast right the innovation levels and that and i think side

00:57:03.020 norms go with it right the good and the bad and so what you see is is these things becoming more

00:57:07.660 common and because they're more common what guys end up feeling like is like if i don't accept it

00:57:13.660 i'm not gonna get anyone so i should come to terms with it oh you know you know and do you think

00:57:18.520 there's some truth to that i think there's some truth to it right you look at back in the day

00:57:21.880 what was back in the day well i don't want my girl to work a corporate job she should be a stay-at-home

00:57:26.380 mom but societal norms catch up it's like oh maybe it's okay for her to to work right and so that's

00:57:31.840 what we're seeing but it's getting worse and i think as guys i think i do think it's it's their

00:57:36.180 job to put a stop to be like no i'm not okay with that yeah i need to stop feeding that machine

00:57:40.580 and i think it comes down to the simps and i think they're the problem i think you made a video about

00:57:44.180 it yeah they are the problem so wait what do you what do you guys request the most in terms of like

00:57:49.260 the types of girls they want they want they just want a good girl with yeah with decent head on her

00:57:53.760 shoulders um as far as like body count all that type of stuff they want single digit body count yeah

00:57:59.180 they're like and not just single digit body count how would you even verify that so you can but before

00:58:06.400 i go into that they want single digit body count and they want the uh the single digits to come from

00:58:12.660 long-term relationships yeah not just the hookup yeah um and it's really bad because girls don't

00:58:19.380 count the hookups oh they only count the guys that they dated that they slept with they don't count

00:58:23.940 like anal either yeah you go to utah yeah yeah um so going back to your question is like how do you

00:58:32.200 verify that and i think this is where guys go wrong is if you make her feel judged in any way shape or

00:58:38.640 form she's not going to be her true self yeah right so you've got to come in and even though it bugs you

00:58:43.200 you've got to learn to have a poker face i just i had a show called men's like what's the craziest

00:58:47.760 thing a girl said to you and you to keep a poker face yeah it was a call-in show yeah and so that's

00:58:53.280 what happens is uh they have to learn to keep that poker face so they could learn the truth about the

00:58:57.540 girl yeah and that happens just when you're trying to learn the truth about anything right the cia

00:59:02.080 probably does this when they're trying to learn the truth about other you know nations or whatever

00:59:06.160 spies i think when you make her feel comfortable and like you're not judgmental and open-minded

00:59:13.620 she will tell you a lot more than you don't yeah but women are smart like you know well yeah but

00:59:20.140 you know what they are smart but what i will say is most guys cannot keep that poker face so when

00:59:26.540 they do find the guy that keeps it it's like oh i finally can talk about it with a guy and then they

00:59:30.700 get that's true they get excited about it yeah but that's why it's so rare for a guy to

00:59:34.520 be not judgmental keep a poker face so guys need to learn to do that if you don't want to play

00:59:39.220 yourself right and then obviously private investigators are looking for like marriage

00:59:42.900 and stuff but even the pi said there's some stuff like you can't i mean you can't know the only way

00:59:48.400 to do it is what i mean like single digit like there's um a phrase that they have it's like assume

00:59:53.920 all women are sluts but don't obsess there's a yeah because it's like how would you there's a saying

00:59:59.360 i say is uh every girl's a slut except my mother and my sister so it's like it's it's funny right

01:00:05.500 um but in hindsight you have to make her feel so comfortable yeah because then she's going to open

01:00:09.320 up to you i've tech girls right that i've talked to that just out of curiosity they're bottle girls

01:00:13.860 that they work in the industry and they feel so comfortable around me right and i'm like yo just

01:00:17.820 out of curiosity like like you have to work up to it right would you sleep with that guy yeah yeah

01:00:22.900 yeah no way how many have you slept with right but they feel so comfortable around me like i'm

01:00:26.300 they're gonna judge them right uh probably like 70 or 80 no way that's super dope right in my mind

01:00:31.620 i'm like crazy yeah but once they feel comfortable think about it like this if you were her gay best

01:00:38.200 friend yeah she would open up to you correct yeah right so they have there has to be a level of

01:00:42.700 comfort to get the actual truth from these women so what are the numbers you've gotten um so the

01:00:48.980 ones that i've gotten right because like how many women have given you these numbers like roughly a lot

01:00:54.740 okay so um right on one end you have the girls that work in those industries they're a lot of fun

01:01:01.400 right they're gorgeous but the numbers are high right 70 80 i talked to one she she was a friend

01:01:08.880 of the one that i was hooking up with probably like 90 100 so huge but you also have girls who are so

01:01:14.820 what is that like per year like is it like how many days does she sleep at a time you're gonna find

01:01:20.200 this crazy it's it they're young chicks they're like 25 26 which is why do the math i don't know

01:01:24.960 because average age you lose your virgin that's over 10 years right 16 to i think 25 26 so like how

01:01:32.620 many like when you were talking to her like how many dudes was she seeing that week

01:01:36.800 i could tell you this did she like any girl no i could tell you this you probably attest to it

01:01:42.600 any girl could call a guy at any given point yeah and the guy will answer

01:01:46.260 yeah right and and girls have hormones too they're not as horny as men but they have hormones

01:01:50.740 right they they're like i think women are almost hornier at the right time yeah when they're

01:01:56.620 ovulating like i mean if you see women like they almost like attack male celebrities like they sneak

01:02:03.180 into their hotel yeah you know what i mean like yeah they're psychos yeah yeah and so um that's what

01:02:09.820 you see but you also get the other tail end right of girls who did have that one or two relationships

01:02:14.700 that were two three years long right and you know maybe her body counts three at 23 or 24

01:02:22.200 you do have those type of girls for sure right they tend to be more introverted reserved yeah type

01:02:27.960 of girls um that's kind of like finding a needle in a haystack nowadays but they're definitely out

01:02:32.300 there right you just have to look and when i say you have to look that's what guys aren't doing

01:02:36.400 they're not going out there they're not putting themselves out there what industries would you tell

01:02:40.140 them like or places would you tell them to look yeah i would um my favorite spot to go to is usually

01:02:45.540 like coffee shops right coffee shops are huge especially with the remote work um culture going

01:02:51.700 on a lot of guys work remote especially if you're doing anything digital so any remote work get out of

01:02:57.600 the house go to the coffee shop right think about if you have an introverted friend where do introverts

01:03:02.700 hang out right because usually those girls are shy yeah right so they won't go up to that celebrity

01:03:07.080 they won't do it even though they might be attracted they won't do it yeah right because

01:03:10.200 they're shy right even if the the hot chad guy comes and talks to her she doesn't know how to

01:03:15.220 handle i know but the introverted whores they do the biggest damage because they don't see it

01:03:19.140 yeah they don't see it coming but that's that's not saying all yeah but that's on the men

01:03:22.860 that's for you being naive i know i'm like the girls that do the most damage are like the intro

01:03:29.080 because the guys do not funny you say that the definition of a heartbreak is when a girl behaves

01:03:35.920 in a way that you didn't think she would yeah that's heartbreaking yeah because you thought

01:03:40.600 she was one person and she was not and so that matches perfectly right that's why they do the

01:03:44.660 most damage you think she's one girl but yeah well okay how long are they gonna go between like

01:03:49.520 introverted chicks or i don't know the girls i meet with really low body count they recycle x's

01:03:55.180 that's like their thing yeah they so it's kind of like it's kind of like a double wham right

01:03:58.480 would you want to have a i don't i don't want guys that he likes those girls because he wants

01:04:03.020 to be recycled that's so funny he's like i'm in for life he believes in climate change

01:04:08.140 go on though yeah uh so that's kind of like the what you face in the dating scene yeah it's what you

01:04:16.760 face um yeah it's just uh it's just what it is it is what it is we're not in eldon times anymore

01:04:22.940 no i was just curious because you said the one girl had like 90 yeah that's crazy yeah so like

01:04:29.420 but how many guys was she banging at the time um i know she had i mean she opened her dms right she

01:04:36.060 had you know probably what like 30 000 one to ten what was she like nine eight oh she was all done

01:04:42.040 up okay right i mean you take those futures away it's like probably like a seven yeah but um guys don't

01:04:48.220 know guys can't even tell but they can't yeah it's even though they say oh i know i can tell but

01:04:52.880 if you put them in front if you put her in front of them they'll freak out i'm so tired of men

01:04:56.180 telling me that i know they say that they're like oh that girl's natural i'm like yeah no she's no

01:05:01.780 she's not we've ran boot camps and you guys are like oh i don't like that fake stuff and what i do

01:05:07.900 on purpose is uh because in vegas you get a lot of those girls yeah and then i introduce them to

01:05:12.540 one of them to a girl that's all done up and then i talk to him and i'm like yeah because i know the

01:05:17.160 girl but pretend you pretend you like him right just to see how their reaction is just so they

01:05:21.440 could get a reality check and i talked to him after i was like dude i loved her i thought you

01:05:25.640 said you didn't like that so a lot of guys is like they're okay with it it's just how they the girl

01:05:29.120 makes it feel right it's like at the end of the day it's like they got negative reactions from those

01:05:33.480 girls before exactly again it's a coping mechanism yeah it's the association cope harder yep yeah exactly

01:05:39.060 yeah but so you tell guys to go to coffee shops that's the best place to meet introverted coffee

01:05:44.660 shops and gyms so this is my favorite girl is the girl that doesn't go out but she goes out for

01:05:51.020 really big special events right let's say she likes um george straight right country and george

01:05:56.400 straight doesn't do many tours so she's like i cannot miss this tour right because i'm from texas

01:06:01.820 so i can't miss this and she never goes out but once a year she goes to that one event and she's not

01:06:06.580 there to hook up she's there for the event and she goes to the gym she's a good girl you have those

01:06:10.280 girls but the only way to find them is to go to these things to put yourself out there as a guy

01:06:14.560 yeah right and you're gonna see these girls if you go to those big events that happen once

01:06:18.400 a year right you go to a formula one race right you go to you know pga or in scottsdale whatever

01:06:24.980 you do if you go to those big events that are really special and the girl might just only go that

01:06:29.720 time once a year that's where you're gonna find those type of girls but again if you're not willing

01:06:33.980 to do the approach let alone put yourself out there it's never gonna find it it's not gonna come to

01:06:38.220 you guys have this misconception oh she'll come to me eventually if i do everything right no she

01:06:41.760 won't she will not she'll not come to you no the young girls you think guys have to have

01:06:48.320 snapchat now because i see gen z i'm like they like my sister like they're all yeah again i stick

01:06:56.020 by it with everything in social media if you don't if you have social media you're not monetized

01:06:59.440 you're just wasting time on it it doesn't add to your purpose as a guy i just delete it you know

01:07:04.280 because all you need is a number to communicate you know and at the end of the day if she likes

01:07:08.500 you the only attention she's going to care about is yours yeah and she's going to create that

01:07:11.640 attention she's going to be calling you blowing up your phone to talk to you on the phone right

01:07:14.480 yeah so why do you need it you don't so what events would you tell them to go to whatever

01:07:20.340 they're into okay right so i mean if you like country music you like formula one things that are

01:07:26.580 unique that happen once a year even more so if they're in other cities right um because the

01:07:33.680 narrative i think if you're a well off if you're well off as a guy and she lives in another city

01:07:39.560 and you're in your 30s you can make it happen like if you can't there's something wrong i've seen an

01:07:43.140 increase in like distance relationships have you seen that too yeah yeah yeah it's easier to travel

01:07:48.920 um it's definitely cheaper right i mean if a plane ticket two weeks out you get it for 90 bucks 100

01:07:55.180 bucks major city to major city do you see like real relationships come from that usually or yeah

01:08:01.760 yeah so again everything depends right it's like not one or the other i'm just asking what you've

01:08:06.580 seen you could say pros and cons so what what we see a lot is the better the skill the guy has with

01:08:14.660 women okay the better match he is we're like he's a really good flirt right he makes him laugh he makes

01:08:20.900 him feel comfortable he's financially stable right he takes care of himself i'm not saying he has to

01:08:25.680 have the genetic lottery but he takes care of himself if you have all those things a girl will

01:08:30.360 go above and beyond to do things for you above and beyond right that includes flights that includes

01:08:35.660 her things start getting serious her like okay looking for a job where you live her trying to figure

01:08:42.120 it out with you the girl if she really likes you will proactively try to figure it out with you

01:08:46.800 the saddest thing is when you meet guys that have never like had that they like don't think they

01:08:51.500 don't they i know they don't think it exists yeah so i and just off of that because guys when i talk

01:08:56.960 like this guy say no that's not true that that can't be real right or when i tell them this is the

01:09:01.700 biggest one i tell them like dude you could be probably pulling or meeting three to four girls a

01:09:06.900 week i know they're like that's not possible i know a girl that got an uber that was four hundred

01:09:12.420 dollars to go on a first date with a guy yeah that she just told him she was like in the area

01:09:17.380 and she wasn't and she ended up marrying him yeah i'm telling you girls will go above and beyond

01:09:23.580 i know i was like you don't understand you don't understand women they will go above and beyond

01:09:27.200 they will take flights they will drive there they will they'll crawl they'll do anything they will

01:09:32.240 do anything once you're into them they're into you sorry yeah but they guys a lot of guys don't

01:09:36.360 experience that they're saying cap i'm like yeah no it's crazy i'm telling you i mean you saw it

01:09:42.380 in the in-person training what did you see right okay the interesting thing i saw um it black

01:09:48.640 pilled me a little bit yeah the because the one thing is like how harshly the fat women would

01:09:53.940 reject the guys that were better looking but then also like i mean you could tell like those of you

01:10:02.280 that had like done it more yeah like you guys had better like interactions you know yeah yeah and

01:10:07.660 it's a skill yeah it's a skill but that's why i tell guys like guys cope a lot because they are

01:10:11.980 afraid of rejection you knew that one girl for like five minutes and then she went home with you

01:10:15.520 from the pool party and that's what i tell guys you saw us do it three times in a row yeah i did

01:10:21.920 right and so i tell guys right they're saying cap right now but i tell them come to vegas and

01:10:26.260 experience it yourself but um he didn't have a yacht guys i'm telling you they always think i'm

01:10:31.640 capping like they always think i'm capping yeah guys i've seen too much yeah yeah so that's what i

01:10:37.940 tell guys going back to like the fat girl rejecting the guy a lot of guys try to cope

01:10:41.960 with it right we spoke about it too it's like they say oh i want to approach her because she's below

01:10:45.900 my level it's like well you don't you can't even get that she'll probably reject you yeah right and

01:10:49.560 so they self-sabotage by saying i only approach nines and tens knowing damn well they're going to

01:10:54.140 get blown out by that nine and ten yeah you know do you think that women because it's interesting

01:11:00.340 like i've heard some dating coaches say that they think that men aren't really competing with

01:11:04.700 other men they're competing with like netflix they're competing with like the latest event

01:11:08.880 brunch like that sort of thing like what's your oh you think they are i think they're what what

01:11:14.900 are they thinking what well how are they like like a like for example if you ask a girl on a date on a

01:11:20.280 dating app it's like it's not like it's you or another guy it's like a date or like watching

01:11:24.420 another guy sorry i don't know what guys are coping with it's another guy who's taking i just i just i

01:11:31.120 just take the no who is she watching the netflix with these guys are delusional right so how much

01:11:38.760 does a girl have to see you for you to know she's like into you or you're not like side dude or

01:11:42.820 something no so you ever been dating a girl and found out she had a whole boyfriend or husband no

01:11:47.740 um a whole boyfriend and stuff i try to figure it out ahead of time just because like on a

01:11:55.120 like do as you want others to do to you type deal if i know she's married or engaged or anything

01:12:01.480 they don't always tell you they don't always tell you that's a problem right i'll still i will not

01:12:06.140 talk to her at all right it's very attractive but if she doesn't tell me that's where it gets tricky

01:12:11.060 right because i'm like fuck right and as a guy you have a choice i tell the other guy do i not tell

01:12:15.920 the other guy right have you ever told them no no i did that's at that point girls are so like you

01:12:22.900 said vindictive right now it's steer clear of that that problem because again it's just a headache if

01:12:27.820 she's willing to do stuff like that behind her husband's behind her boyfriend's back imagine what

01:12:31.600 she's going to do to a stranger do you know what i snitched once and i'll never do it again never

01:12:35.720 again because you know they stayed yeah they stayed together and i was like now this is awkward

01:12:42.720 yeah and even um and then i was the villain i'm like fuck you guys it happens it just happens but

01:12:49.880 she's jealous i'm like you're right i am and so it happens but you can't control like because women

01:12:56.100 have game too yeah women have game yeah right but to answer your question usually girls do have guys

01:13:02.440 that are like oh i'm talking to him and they're always measuring their options yeah they're always

01:13:06.740 measuring because girls do want to get mad they do want to have even if it's just marriage and on

01:13:11.020 paper like they don't want to be a wife they just want to be married you've heard that right yeah um

01:13:14.760 they do want to get married and so they always have the options going you'll know when a girl drops you

01:13:18.780 or drops everyone else when the level of attention significantly goes up when she's like can i come

01:13:25.700 over today tomorrow and she wants to stay over right she's calling you every day she wants to facetime

01:13:30.480 you she's texting you first that's when you know she dropped everyone right because that that takes a lot

01:13:34.700 effort for a girl to be that emotionally invested into someone right usually what happens is she has

01:13:40.000 five guys chasing her and she's entertaining maybe one or two of them or three right and how many would

01:13:45.100 you say she's sleeping with versus like take going on dates like so what do you mean what do you mean

01:13:49.520 like entertaining so i've talked to you yeah a lot of women right um and this is the funny part she

01:13:54.700 might entertain like two or three where she's making them work for it take me on a date do this right

01:13:59.800 and those guys are not bad guys and i'm not saying they have terrible game yeah or trushes it just

01:14:04.260 they're just naive right but then she goes out with her girlfriends and she meets the guy who

01:14:09.180 she sleeps with yeah right and the guy doesn't want anything right so that creates that dynamic

01:14:14.580 that's the most popular it's like the foodie date yeah exactly yeah and so you see that dynamic a lot

01:14:19.300 and then she goes back she's sexually satisfied right because she slept with this guy yeah and the

01:14:24.220 other three are still entertaining her and so it's a win-win for her she's just winning all around

01:14:27.760 right and the chat's winning all around he the other guys can like listen to her problems

01:14:31.460 yeah and then what did the chat have to do you're cute right here's a three dollar beer yeah it's so

01:14:37.680 here's my three dollar beer and a six dollar uber have you ever had a girl come over like after a date

01:14:42.200 yeah yeah yeah so this is okay this is the most um and i think guys will experience i think the the

01:14:50.680 bigger the thought the more the crazier thing she does there's been times where the girl calls me in front of

01:14:57.140 her date and she's like yeah i'm headed over like in front of the date right so girls do that type

01:15:03.980 of stuff what like and did and did the guy know that she was no no who did he think she was on the

01:15:10.280 phone she called me jesse the whole time right think about it what is he gonna do as a date

01:15:15.360 right what i mean you just met the girl what is he gonna do well overreact most guys don't want to

01:15:21.680 be confrontation with a chick yeah right but that has happened if that girls get dropped off at my

01:15:26.580 place after a date right and but this is this is also the thing that you realize for most guys right

01:15:31.860 when you're a high value guy you will experience these things um but yeah you do get that

01:15:38.280 what are they saying early chatting damn they're they're saying they're just saying how women play

01:15:45.900 games that sort of thing yeah well they're playing games like what's the most savage thing you've seen

01:15:51.120 um well women do play games but that's because they are not playing yeah they got to learn to play the

01:15:55.980 field yeah you know they they refuse to do it but um the most savage thing from a guy or from a girl

01:16:01.320 oh give me both all right for i love dating coaches have the best stories from over the years for a guy i i

01:16:09.020 have a guy friend who has a an apartment um but then he has another apartment for his hookups

01:16:15.800 mm-hmm that's just like whatever and he's married right that's well that's yeah i mean i've heard of

01:16:21.180 that yeah but for a girl you're so desensitized you're like that's another day well i was like that's it

01:16:25.960 yeah for girls each other for for girls wait so what did he do he just had a second apartment he just

01:16:31.800 had a second apartment yeah and he would go out and he would just like hook up with the girls there

01:16:35.020 i think did he have a full girlfriend or something no he's like married no i meant yeah but that

01:16:39.820 doesn't stop him doesn't like like did he have i mean did he have side chicks or a full no yes i

01:16:45.800 had everything oh okay but if you think about it like i think let's say you as a wife right there's

01:16:51.760 no way she didn't know there's zero way right but the guy's loaded you know what i'm saying so i

01:16:56.880 think she's okay with it you just might as well assume yeah just assume assumptions all men

01:17:03.680 cheating and all women are worse the world's gonna go nowhere

01:17:06.560 but that being said with girls i mean what i just said i think is pretty savage um i haven't met

01:17:15.420 girls like that but i've heard have heard on other podcasts like the stuff like porn stars doing stuff

01:17:19.780 like that that you know is pretty crazy but i think what have you seen for girls that it's pretty

01:17:24.300 savage because i don't have much info on girls right on guys i do but on girls i don't there is a girl

01:17:29.600 in school and she really really didn't have like the reputation of a like she wasn't right i mean

01:17:36.760 she wasn't a prude but she was you know there's like a scale right like she's in the middle i don't

01:17:42.360 know like i don't know she'd have like a year boyfriend then maybe hook up then get another

01:17:47.860 boyfriend you know whatever so um but she dated a guy freshman year and they like broke up and then

01:17:55.000 by the time senior year came around she had like a new boyfriend okay and basically we were at this

01:18:01.360 like do you know what like a darty is like a date yeah so basically i'm in line to go to the bathroom

01:18:07.880 there and i'm like this bathroom's taking forever i'm like what the hell and i'm like sitting there for

01:18:12.360 like 20 minutes and then i see her come out with the guy from like freshman year yeah even though she

01:18:17.880 had the new boyfriend and he wasn't at the part like he wasn't he was coming though so he came like

01:18:21.980 right after and he didn't know his girlfriend just got like banged out in the bathroom yeah

01:18:26.300 yeah so they're still together to this day wow i wasn't about to say he has to know i what he has

01:18:32.180 to know i don't know you think he's naive yeah probably i think he has no idea yeah it's your idea

01:18:37.860 no because she was like she's good family good parent like i don't think you would really guess

01:18:42.960 wow so that was pretty that was pretty like crazy that was the craziest thing i saw

01:18:47.900 like probably ever because he saw it firsthand yeah but she didn't know it's kind of awkward

01:18:53.140 because she didn't know i knew yeah because like i like either where i was sitting because

01:18:57.420 there it was so long that like i was kind of been like they couldn't see me and i was like

01:19:01.500 yeah but a little bathroom action i wish him well but you know what i'd snitched the year before on

01:19:09.920 someone else and it just backfired on me snitching bro i stopped i learned my lesson i stopped because

01:19:16.940 they stayed together and it was so like now you're the bad one yeah yeah i'm like i'll shut up yeah it

01:19:23.800 never works like guys love to say yeah i hope someone tells me and like they overreact and they

01:19:28.380 blame it on the guy no but the half the time the guy stays yeah that's what i'm saying that's the

01:19:32.560 because it's like i think it's too hard for them to replace her a lot of the time they don't want to

01:19:36.500 see that's the problem i think yeah it'd be good questions to ask your chaz like what's holding

01:19:40.940 them back from getting better right it's like a lot of work right it's a lot of work yeah but it's

01:19:46.920 anything's a lot of work what do you think because some people are like this isn't worth it like why

01:19:52.000 even play the game like what do you think to people that like just want to bow out you know

01:19:56.140 do you think like for some people i think they're losers okay no i think i think it's a loser

01:20:00.580 mentality right it's like going to play a game oh why even try if i know i'm not gonna win

01:20:05.560 that's a loser mentality right you want to change that mentality and that that's probably

01:20:10.420 the way they're looking at dating is probably the way they're looking at careers and health

01:20:14.080 yeah right oh i already weighed 300 pounds it's like neuroticism yeah it's it's a bad mentality you

01:20:20.660 have that's some loser mentality and that's a most guys watching is i hope if you're over 25 and you

01:20:25.680 have that mentality this is a reality check for you that is the way a loser thinks because you're not

01:20:31.800 improving you're not growing and it's not a hopeless end no there is hope you're just giving

01:20:37.000 up on it because i can guarantee you the same guys that are doing that have some sort of simping

01:20:40.220 behaviors online yeah right yeah i can guarantee you for a fact and so it's just yeah it's cognitive

01:20:46.380 dissonance on that level um they want to know what are some strategies we can employ to reduce the

01:20:51.260 chances of false accusations after dates yeah make her be into you right if so this is what happens with a

01:20:57.720 lot of the pickup world and the dating scene so because a lot of dating coaches weren't

01:21:03.440 versed on what it's like to actually have a girl attracted to you right if you're a natural and

01:21:09.220 girls have been attracted to your whole life you understand when a girl's attracted to you right

01:21:14.120 she chases you she pursues you right you get the what it's called the female gaze nowadays right

01:21:18.860 it's a new term so you do all these things but a guy that doesn't know that right is getting taught

01:21:24.460 it's like the blind leading the blind is getting taught by another dating coach who also doesn't

01:21:28.020 know how to experience that but he's trying to look at it from the outside right but he's analyzing

01:21:32.200 what the guy is doing from the outside and he's saying oh the guy then touched her and escalated

01:21:36.200 her when in reality the girl escalated on him first right she she broke the touch barrier first she did

01:21:40.940 all these things and so the way to avoid false accusations number one is to make sure that well she is

01:21:46.860 actually into you and that you didn't like push your way in right a lot of times when i go home

01:21:55.260 with a girl and my students do the girl's the one pulling him right the girl's saying hey by the way

01:21:59.840 i have vodka at my place you don't have a drink at my place that's one right or she's like hey we

01:22:04.060 could watch a movie at my place which is funny when a girl pulls you back to her place when a girl

01:22:07.320 does the work the girls come up with like the dumbest excuses to get you back home right um so the

01:22:13.040 girl's doing that that's 100 guaranteed that she's into you she wants you there's gonna be no

01:22:17.220 accusation right another thing i like to do is make it an experience right take pictures with her right

01:22:23.120 if you do have um snapchat for example take a snap with her right have fun with her but you actually

01:22:29.200 have to have fun again the the good intention has to be there if you're on there on a date

01:22:32.780 right if you're both on the same page i'm either gonna sleep with her she wants to just something

01:22:37.620 casual we're both kind of like looking for short term on the app they filtered it for that perfect

01:22:41.840 then you know it's more likely both casual right the problem arises when the guy lies

01:22:47.500 that he wants a long-term thing but he knows he's down he's just looking for a hookup

01:22:51.000 yeah right and they don't realize some girls are cool with that some girls are cool with that yeah

01:22:55.840 a lot of girls are cool with that yeah there's a reason on dating apps short term is an option

01:22:59.920 looking for fun yeah if you filter by that there's literally tons of girls that are looking for that

01:23:03.880 yeah and guys don't understand that right one thing i like to do when i you know have breakfast

01:23:09.560 with chicks and something i was like by the way is that just casual or do you like want a second

01:23:13.020 date i asked them straight up do you want a second date or do you want something casual most of the

01:23:16.440 time they're like casual's fine it's up to you especially in bigger cities you go to new york

01:23:20.080 casual is the name of the game right in new york city so um don't be afraid of that if you go in

01:23:27.200 there with that intention and you're both on the same page number one it reduces that risk

01:23:31.300 right and number two take dating advice from people who actually have gotten girls their whole life

01:23:36.140 not guys who are analyzing from the outside that are misinterpreting what's going on and the

01:23:41.420 the dynamic between a natural and a girl who's attracted you know to that guy so be careful

01:23:46.260 you take the advice from it's number two for sure and what about like do you think ring cameras

01:23:51.840 getting texts and everything like that yeah everything right i think for example when a girl's

01:23:57.160 into you and i think guys don't realize that when a girl's into you she will text you

01:24:00.360 right and my you go on my instagram i have some posts of texts that i've received

01:24:03.700 hey jesse i really like you i don't want to lose you right hey when am i going to see you again

01:24:08.440 it's been a while right girls hit me up after a year hey i'm in vegas excuse me i'm in vegas can

01:24:12.920 we hang out okay so it's a chasing thing anything that implies that she's chasing you avoids that

01:24:19.060 dynamic right so what's another way of chasing right um when you take videos you could tell by body

01:24:25.640 language right when you see a guy and a girl together from the outside right girl you can see when

01:24:30.360 the girl's like super into the guy oh yeah you can see that right it's like have you seen the

01:24:34.160 revelo or whatever yeah yeah yeah and so any chasing behaviors that she's displaying

01:24:40.680 right chasing is is a harsh work because girls are like oh i don't want to chase or guys are like oh i

01:24:45.360 don't chase girls chasing nobody likes chasing that's what it is right you're just signaling that

01:24:51.040 you're attracted to someone right you're trying to mate mating call so anything that demonstrates that

01:24:57.220 whether it's through picture video voice notes text messaging that all works and what are like

01:25:03.060 dating like a bunch of women what are the biggest mistakes that you see women make

01:25:07.160 uh self-sabotage is the biggest one okay for women um because women when they meet a guy and they fall

01:25:14.220 in love with that guy the biggest one is women like stability they like status quo right and if you date

01:25:21.860 because again i i the guys i work with are very high value driven guys right and so those type of

01:25:28.920 guys are always taking risk they're always aiming to be better and better and work harder and harder

01:25:34.260 right and so what you see is that the girl doesn't want the guy to take those risks because it ruins her

01:25:39.200 status quo or she gets insecure and says oh wait this guy's gonna leave me if he gets too successful

01:25:45.100 they get insecure about it right or they start getting older yeah or they start getting older

01:25:49.940 okay and so though they start self-sabotaging their relationship right in many different forms

01:25:56.180 it materializes by gaslighting um keeping the guy down ruining it purposefully cheating on him right

01:26:03.080 subconsciously girl's night increases because you're not giving me attention or whatever but she knows

01:26:07.980 what is cheating subconscious how do you subconsciously because she she doesn't go with the intention i'm

01:26:12.740 gonna cheat right but deep down she knows that she has to ruin the relationship because she thinks

01:26:18.260 he's gonna leave because she's gonna exactly yeah exactly so it's a subconscious it's like women's

01:26:22.680 biggest fear getting traded for exactly exactly so so it's a self-sabotage is the number one thing

01:26:27.880 women do and do you think it's like um ever a valid fear like he might do that yeah it's valid it's a

01:26:35.540 valid super valid fear because um and this is why i think it's valid for women right because she knows

01:26:41.200 okay well he doesn't he's super successful he's always working on himself right yeah women are

01:26:47.620 throwing himself at him i'm only getting older it's normal right but i think this is where the

01:26:52.200 relationship right where you hang on to the relationship comes out you wear a different hat

01:26:55.280 this is when you sit down with her and you provide her with that reassurance right like hey babe i i know

01:27:01.620 um you've been saying these days about the success are you afraid of me getting more success i have that

01:27:06.440 open relationship with her do you think it's gonna destabilize a relationship be open about it

01:27:11.200 right i really like how you know you're concerned and it tells me a lot but you have to have those

01:27:15.640 open hard conversations with her and have that reassurance because as men in the relationship you

01:27:20.860 also have to lead her emotions not just leading physically and stuff like that into a dream right

01:27:25.980 um into like the dream journey it's also leading her to realize her mistakes right it's also almost

01:27:32.500 like coaching her like hey no you're self-sabotaging i pick up on it because i'm more experienced than

01:27:38.000 you and i'm the man in the relationship i want to fix this that's the true leading in a relationship

01:27:42.480 right um and so you have to have that as a man for the relationship to work out because women

01:27:48.700 they're followers right they're submissive by nature and so they won't self-analyze to that level

01:27:54.120 whereas a guy if you do that that relationship is going to be very successful so you actually

01:27:58.620 recommend they have a conversation and have you seen that fix the problem yeah really so again

01:28:04.120 relationships are tough you're never going to agree on anything yeah there's always going to be

01:28:08.400 certain issues that come right that arise throughout your relationship right but the ones that are

01:28:12.760 successful are the ones that communicate it and there's ways to communicate right communicating is

01:28:16.440 not hey why the fuck are you doing that that's not communicating right you have to start it soft right

01:28:21.280 and um there's a way to communicate and the relationships that do communicate

01:28:24.500 communicate and they are very empathetic to what the other person's feeling those are the

01:28:30.680 relationships that do really really well and there's a way to do it right because i talk to

01:28:34.000 guys not just hey i'm a virgin hey i yeah you know all those things so you do like long-term coaching

01:28:39.360 long-term as well right i have guys that come to me and say hey my relationship's kind of like

01:28:43.400 shaky right now we talk about it right and they're not doing these things wait hold on so in the past six

01:28:48.800 months these four things bothered you yeah have you talked to her about any of those four things no

01:28:53.920 okay now what things have you done that you think might might have bothered her this this and this

01:28:59.960 has she talked to you about it no but why do you think those bother her because of her attitude so

01:29:04.580 you guys have these things that are bothering each other but you haven't discussed it no okay bring

01:29:09.180 her on the zoom call all right let's really oh my god so you do it with both of them yeah because

01:29:13.460 that's crazy because relationships are not about just hooking that's what i said right yeah when you

01:29:17.920 start remember if you're a good long-term partner the hookup is going to happen right

01:29:23.540 right if a girl notices oh this guy has his shit together he works out he's polished

01:29:27.560 right he you know he makes me he flirts good he makes me feel good he's comfortable with me all

01:29:33.120 these things and then you add on top of that and he knows how to communicate right wow i've never

01:29:39.100 talked to an emotionally mature man man like this and she's like i want to date this guy right and

01:29:44.740 because now she feels so comfortable you displayed those traits she has no problem sleeping with you

01:29:49.100 you get what i'm saying so i'd rather teach guys how to be good long-term partners and then learn

01:29:53.920 how to hook up and build that attraction that flirting for that and you become the best of both

01:29:57.880 worlds for the for the girl and so a lot of guys miss that a lot of guys don't have that and so

01:30:01.580 that's why they aren't able to retain that relationship have you ever seen a marriage that

01:30:05.200 you would want a marriage that i want so like a couple like it was interesting i there's very few

01:30:13.240 people i find that like have one that they would want i'm gonna read a super chat really quick but

01:30:17.820 think about the question no loser here is my outlook on life as a positive reality um you literally get

01:30:23.920 paid in it and have an incentive to sell the reality that all guys can achieve this but there's not

01:30:29.700 enough desirable women in the numbers yeah i guess a loser it can do anything about it so good no but

01:30:36.020 this is what i'll tell you about that you need to build positive momentum to get out of that

01:30:40.840 mentality you need to be surrounded by people that help you build that momentum yeah okay think about

01:30:47.620 it like this if you have that momentum you're hanging out with david gargans right it's not

01:30:51.580 gonna work it's not gonna work right and so you meet those people in your life right so the friends

01:30:56.280 i hang out with because i feel like that sometimes too it's normal yeah right sometimes i'm sure you

01:31:00.380 feel like that too but i'm like well it's fucking useless right and then growing up as a kid you

01:31:04.000 might have done it and your dad's like no no no shut up go right no i'm pretty black pilled yeah

01:31:08.620 you're like you're like me you're like me yeah because we don't you don't sound you don't sound

01:31:12.860 black pilled though but i think like oh so you think it's hopeless oh yeah i do i do i'm gonna

01:31:19.580 let you like you know yeah so no what i'm saying is like i just think like statistically it probably

01:31:23.940 won't work out but i mean you can have a good time for the time being yeah because like statistically

01:31:29.160 these guys aren't willing to work on it this is where this is where they fell off yeah but like tom

01:31:33.400 brady could it you know well that's different that that's so i know this is cliche that's

01:31:37.700 different right but this is what i'm saying yeah to be fair leon i follow leonardo dicaprio's

01:31:41.840 exes they don't do too well in life i think i think um what's her face is next um uh blake

01:31:48.440 lively oh yeah she's 100 yeah no she's already done yeah done yeah once they date leo they're

01:31:53.900 done yeah the the news in hollywood lags no but i'll say is um we can't incentivize young

01:32:00.040 man to keep that mentality yeah you know what i'm saying we have to incentivize these men to

01:32:04.680 think that no they can do better now there's also a reality check where it's like well dude

01:32:09.120 you're a six right you're a six if you work on yourself you can work yourself to a seven or an

01:32:14.800 eight a guy can always date two or three points above yeah always yeah always but every guy can

01:32:19.940 be above average or average or above average if he works out takes care of himself wears nice

01:32:24.500 cologne it's polished good haircut yeah i guess i'm more black pilled on like marriage but i'm

01:32:29.940 like yeah but i i do think it's like the girl women are giving up to everyone it might as well

01:32:35.260 be you guys so you might as well like yeah you could still like i met a fat yeah a guy at a bar

01:32:45.240 the other and he was showing me his rotation and i mean he was doing well right i mean to be fair

01:32:50.360 i mean they had sleeves and what but they're pretty hot i'm like it's probably good enough for most guys

01:32:56.120 yeah he's enjoying it right he's but this is what i'm saying he doesn't have the victim

01:32:59.000 i asked him who his favorite was and he's like whoever shows up then

01:33:02.400 i like that guy whoever shows up listen i can guarantee you that guy's 10 times happier than

01:33:09.280 anybody who has that other mentality you know i can guarantee you that guy's 10 times happier

01:33:13.580 but he's black pilled too yeah he just don't he just expects like it's not going to be a long

01:33:18.320 term yeah like he's probably never leveraging it right one thing that i will tell you you can't

01:33:22.980 change the world i just accept it one thing that i'll tell you about marriage and like that type of

01:33:27.280 mentality is just it doesn't try to improve it yeah you know i'm because the way i look at it is like

01:33:32.060 i'm a fighter right right it's like i want i want to improve the world because if i do have kids

01:33:36.900 i want to have a good world for them right and that just that that doesn't help right so again i'll go

01:33:41.340 back to the simping and stuff like that that's why i preach delete your social media of your simping

01:33:45.260 right if you're not monetizing it you're not working on it delete it what's the point yeah

01:33:48.920 right go work on yourself right pick up that communication skills and now when i say

01:33:53.400 communication skills and attraction stuff like that it goes beyond women right because this is

01:33:58.520 what happens when i coach a guy right and he's doing better with women they get promotions faster

01:34:02.820 right because now they're more you know outspoken at work now they're more confident at work yeah

01:34:07.940 now they're better communicators at work now they're better public speakers

01:34:10.960 right now they have a presence when they walk into the corporate room they have a huge presence

01:34:14.920 right and so they climb up the corporate ladder oh yeah when men get female attention like it

01:34:19.840 changes their whole it changes their whole life correct and so the when i say like work on yourself

01:34:24.900 and do these things even though there is that um aspect of life where it's like it feels useless but

01:34:30.680 if communication has to be learned you have to be a good communicator you have to be good

01:34:35.560 at those type of things otherwise your whole life is you're going to be a fly on the wall your whole

01:34:39.740 life living like a victim yeah correct i don't like that yeah i don't i don't want to live like that

01:34:44.260 i can't no i can't sell that anything's gonna get better no i can't yeah like no no i just did

01:34:51.520 i want to ask you something so let's say you you had to do a rule you have to create a rule globally

01:34:56.000 and it's a felony and they break it what would be your rule to try to make things better

01:34:59.800 i don't think it can get better but if you have you'd have to okay sharia law i guess but

01:35:08.320 that's not gonna happen okay i just don't women have like too much power i don't see them giving

01:35:16.360 it up like women aren't going to give up power right there's no like and the thing is people have

01:35:21.680 to decide in life if they want to make eight dollars or two dollars because women make 80 percent

01:35:25.840 a consumer buying decision so there's no incentive for things to get better yeah so

01:35:30.820 i mean the whole economy like i had an economist it and here yeah that's the thing i interview a lot

01:35:37.100 of people that are really in the field yeah and so i had an economist in and he just broke down like

01:35:42.240 how the economy is set up what percent of industries are funded by women and like the power is just yeah

01:35:48.180 i mean like they're not really they're building single family apartment complexes like people aren't

01:35:54.200 gonna women don't i really what what it comes down to is women don't want to be mothers and have kids

01:35:59.340 and they're not nurturing and like people used i think people used to have the presumption that like

01:36:04.860 women were like the women aren't loyal and we see this because we get the most freedom the line has

01:36:09.760 been blurred right what the line between like female roles and male roles has been blurred yeah so but i

01:36:15.940 don't think that means you're gonna have a bad life or you can't like date and have a good time you

01:36:19.880 know like i'm very optimistic about my future right but but like am i gonna i'm not gonna sell

01:36:28.920 that most people are gonna get married and let me ask you this so for example would you rather a guy

01:36:33.420 have the mentality like oh it's useless or whatever or like the other guy who's five or seven had like

01:36:38.060 a little rotation he was like enjoying life oh people like positive people right i mean i don't think

01:36:42.500 there's any point in like like when i say i'm blackpilled i just am honest about where the world's going

01:36:47.740 and when you have kids you probably have to prepare that exactly they might go to school with kids

01:36:52.600 whose moms are on only fit that might be a reality imagine that uh it's probably gonna be like one kid

01:36:58.340 like only children mostly like my people as big as my family not really gonna happen that's the future

01:37:04.360 i mean it's not necessarily bad yeah but that's that's what i see happening i think it's definitely

01:37:09.220 gonna be some level of uh of split like almost borderline segregation for those kids whose

01:37:16.820 mothers are you know only fans girls and stuff like that i think it's so i don't you think it's

01:37:22.420 just gonna be in everywhere they're running in politics now like there is a governor that had

01:37:27.380 a cam account or i can't remember if it was some high political right because i think there'll be

01:37:32.480 someone elected in a high office that have an only fans than sometime in my lifetime wow i think that

01:37:38.160 will happen funded i think there will be a female president in my lifetime i think like i don't i what

01:37:44.340 is the incentive to stop the way it's how many like i know you you did a study of like how many girls

01:37:49.520 were only fans but let me ask you this how many guys you think contribute to only fans and like

01:37:55.340 what generation right because i think that that's the real problem mostly right so they did a study

01:38:01.660 it's mostly white christian married men on only fans so it's actually the married guys not getting

01:38:06.600 laid so it's like the guys that tried to do the traditional thing that kind of take the biggest

01:38:10.900 l's because they're not really they're the guys you know they're taking the girls on dates and you're

01:38:15.660 seeing them after you know that's what i'm saying too right so like you have to attack the problem

01:38:19.680 ahead of time because then you're like you have that mentality and you're like oh the girl's gonna

01:38:23.720 come to me and then the girl gets picks as she already had her fun and then she picks you

01:38:28.420 right and you're like oh she's such a good girl because she's such a good player of the game she

01:38:32.540 knows how to hide all that stuff correct right and you're naive correct and now 10 years later

01:38:36.840 you're like oh i had to pay for only fans because my wife's not having sex with me correct right and

01:38:41.840 then it's a repeating cycle and then another guy sees that and the same shit happens eventually he's

01:38:46.700 gonna change his mind and then he goes back in that loop and so as i'm saying the way to stop that

01:38:50.220 loop is to stop that mentality work on yourself stop simping learn communication and get out the way

01:38:56.220 well i do think what you guys do is really important i mean that's why i bring like guys

01:39:00.220 like you and i've had a couple others on um because it's really the only leverage men have

01:39:05.340 is other women and like being the ability to replace women what else do you have as a man you

01:39:09.740 don't have the police you don't have media like you we have everything on our side men don't have

01:39:13.960 anything so i think it's got to change right for guys um where you kind of like stand up for it and

01:39:19.840 say okay how could i attack this problem yeah um but again guys don't want to put that work in

01:39:25.000 it's a lot of work and then you add on to that and that's why like the top one percent of men do

01:39:29.640 deserve all the women they're putting all the work in right yeah they're putting in it's like

01:39:34.580 they're putting in what the financial the health all that stuff um bro had no answer for a valid

01:39:39.900 point but an ad hominem sorry i do have to read these um he's not informed um but he is serving a

01:39:48.960 purpose well sorry you're good um well i don't know i think it's important to be honest because

01:39:59.560 you actually give people solutions so where do you think people can like find you um instagram is the

01:40:05.300 biggest one okay right and then youtube obviously cool it's jesse steel yeah so um well thanks so much

01:40:11.860 for coming on i appreciate it thank you pearl it's awesome being here um guys we just did like a ton

01:40:18.840 of content yesterday if you guys do want step-by-step solutions um to some of your dating problems he

01:40:24.740 went in-depth and answered a lot of stuff so that's going to be in the school group

01:40:28.200 um if you could just make sure it's the first link in the description um

01:40:32.420 um the so make sure you guys click that like the video on your way out and i think that's we're

01:40:41.120 gonna probably do a show later tonight so i'll watch out for that guys like the video subscribe

01:40:46.360 and i'll see you guys later bye-bye sweet

01:41:02.420 you

01:41:32.420 you

01:42:02.420 you

01:42:04.480 you

01:42:05.420 you

01:42:07.420 you

JustPearlyThings - May 24, 2025

I Interview a Dating Coach ｜ The Sitdown

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