JustPearlyThings - April 07, 2023


Is The Bar Set Low For Men？


Episode Stats

Length

14 minutes

Words per Minute

183.56667

Word Count

2,701

Sentence Count

214

Misogynist Sentences

16

Hate Speech Sentences

6


Summary


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Hello, everyone. I'm Shahara. I'm 28. I'm in a long distance relationship. And I don't
00:00:08.160 know if it's fun, but a fact about me is my motivation for going to law school was to
00:00:12.840 exclusively advocate for men in family courts.
00:00:16.220 Oh, look, let's get it. Yeah. So are you a lawyer now?
00:00:21.740 No, no. So I'll be studying this.
00:00:23.960 Okay. What motivated you to do that?
00:00:26.320 Because I kind of accidentally fell into helping. I was mainly counselling somebody
00:00:34.400 who was going through a divorce and they just couldn't afford a lawyer. So I was like,
00:00:42.300 let me just see what I could do. And I was like, I'm actually really good at this. I was combining
00:00:46.240 all of these. I was doing all the legal research and kind of getting everything, like looking at
00:00:51.320 his case and seeing what can work and what couldn't. And I was just like, I'm really good at this.
00:00:56.100 And then I also saw what's happening and, you know, between the genders and the relations are
00:01:02.140 really bad. And I just think that, I mean, I've spoken to a few men and the perception that they
00:01:08.400 have of women and the legal system, I don't blame them whatsoever. But the perception that they have
00:01:13.560 of women is that, you know, the whole MGTOW thing can completely just go in their own way and
00:01:19.280 excuse them, excusing women. I was like, yeah, that's why I want to actually advocate for men
00:01:23.840 and show them that we're not all like that.
00:01:26.740 Yeah. No, it's interesting. I don't, is it, so in the US, I know if someone gets divorced and
00:01:34.060 they have a kid with a girl in certain States, they have to pay 25% of their after tax income
00:01:38.760 per kid. Um, I don't think it's as bad here. No, no. Is it, is it similar or no? I don't think
00:01:45.480 it's though. It can be similar, but I think what the thing is, I think the US is a bit more cutthroat
00:01:52.140 Yeah. Yeah. In terms of English law, we go by case by case and there's more of a, there's a lot
00:01:58.760 more fairness, I think from what I've seen so far, which is good because I mean, in America you have
00:02:04.180 community property States, which are just like completely just cut the house, the assets in the
00:02:10.540 middle. Who cares what happened in the case? Yeah. And that's horrible because some cases are really
00:02:15.680 unique and then they deserve attention, but then you have equitable distribution States in America,
00:02:20.100 some, some States and, uh, which is what you expect of the law to look at every single case.
00:02:26.460 And, uh, yeah, the, the, the one that I was involved in was an equitable distribution state.
00:02:32.760 So the factors, the ex-wife actually didn't fulfill the factors. Um, so that actually what gained like
00:02:40.020 that worked in favor of my client. What does fulfill the factors mean? So the statutory factors,
00:02:45.960 for he was in the state of Colorado and in the state of Colorado, you have statutory factors,
00:02:50.820 for example, yeah, I don't know how, how people are going to take this, but it is the factors. For
00:02:56.280 example, if she wants 50%, uh, she will basically get whatever percentage from the assets. It can,
00:03:04.320 uh, like compensate compensating for her contribution to the marriage. If she took care of children,
00:03:09.960 as a percentage, if she gave up things like homemaking, uh, as opposed to his 50%, does that
00:03:16.860 make sense? Yeah. So she can, it could be 70, you know, 20. Yeah. Like that. No, that's,
00:03:22.860 that's really cool. That's really interesting. When I found that about the state, I was like,
00:03:26.200 that's brilliant. Yeah. And community property States are really scary. Like California is,
00:03:30.420 that's, that's the one where I heard this guy was like going to retire and then he couldn't
00:03:35.080 retire because he, his wife left him and took the kid to Japan. Yeah. And like, it's crazy. Cause I
00:03:41.440 guess in some States, like the courts are separate, like the courts for like child support and the
00:03:46.440 divorce courts. So when he went to child support, like he would get child support, they would just
00:03:51.240 say, Oh, you weren't in the kid's life the last six months, but they don't put in the fact that
00:03:54.880 like she wasn't letting him be. Yeah. So it's kind of, it's very, um, especially in the U S here,
00:04:00.900 I looked up, I think they get like 13 to like 20% ish per kid. If that was correct. Right.
00:04:06.660 Is that, yeah. I don't, I don't know if that's, it's not as cutthroat, I think as the U S from
00:04:10.740 what I learned. No, but that's generally, but again, they look at each and every case,
00:04:14.460 which is important because we can't even, we can't say it's definitely going to go this way.
00:04:17.420 Right. Right. Okay. Sorry. That was just interesting. That's why I asked. Okay. Um,
00:04:22.260 so I was going to say on, on a slightly, slightly on a tangent, but similar topic, uh, fun fact,
00:04:29.660 like one of my friends who studied in law in the UK, I actually asked him about the topic of,
00:04:36.280 um, you know, like prenups. And I said, like, you know, it must be a good idea, right? You're
00:04:42.440 safeguarding yourself. You're safeguarding each person. Then you feel like it's a little bit
00:04:46.680 more comfortable going into the relationship. And I said, like, surely that's a good way to go,
00:04:52.880 you know, in a trusting way. And he was like, actually like, there are loopholes just because
00:04:57.160 you have a prenup does not mean you are going to get away, you know, without compensation. So,
00:05:03.340 um, it might work a little bit better in America, but let's say in the rest of the world, that's,
00:05:08.380 that's not the case. And he's like, if you're smart, especially like people who have wealth from
00:05:14.260 their family, old family, um, they actually like when their kids get married, they actually like,
00:05:20.880 they don't put things or assets under their children's name for a reason. Because if the
00:05:27.840 woman tries to divorce the man and try to get the assets, they can't because it's under the entire
00:05:34.080 family rather than under an individual. So he was saying like, there are ways that you can,
00:05:40.980 so you can put your sister's name, you can get your brother. So it's like, you know, like it's,
00:05:44.980 it's, it's not yours. It's, it's the family. And so if that's the way that something's named, then
00:05:51.080 you could, that, that you can kind of get away with it, but you cannot just say, well, I've got
00:05:54.440 prenup. So this is pre. Yeah. And that's scary. That scares me. It is. And it's hard because I'm
00:06:00.420 very pro marriage in like a family sense, but I understand like why guys don't want to get married.
00:06:05.400 You know, it like makes sense. Cause I'm like, if I had, if I could possibly lose this much of my
00:06:09.320 assets, I wouldn't want to get married either. If the, like the roles were reversed. And what's more
00:06:13.840 terrifying is that you don't even have to get married to get the same treatment.
00:06:17.740 That's the, you can't even cohabit because it's horrible. You can't even trust.
00:06:21.780 It's like, it's like they legally twist their arm. Like they say, well, you know what? No,
00:06:25.140 then let's not get married. And they say, ah, but if you live with her for this many years,
00:06:28.540 it's like, I actually, I don't know if anyone who's Canadian in the audience who might know,
00:06:34.620 but actually I heard that in Canada, maybe I might be making this up. I thought I heard that it
00:06:39.880 doesn't, you don't even have to marry it. If you've been living with your partner for a certain
00:06:43.000 amount of years, that automatically that person can try and get money from you. I don't, I don't
00:06:48.300 know. I don't know. I think that's, I think there that's true, but I might be wrong. So if anyone,
00:06:53.520 if I'm wrong, please correct me. Okay. I'm sorry. I got a little off topic. No, no, it was,
00:06:59.220 it's interesting. That's okay. So today we're talking about is the bar set low for men. So
00:07:04.140 the reason that I thought of this was because I was like scrolling through my TikTok and there's
00:07:11.100 this trend going around where it's like, girls will say, well, the bar is so low for men. And
00:07:15.280 then, you know, explain. And so I wanted to show you guys a video ish, if you want to pull
00:07:19.280 it up. Um, it's basically a compilation of girls when they talk about, you know, how, how low the
00:07:30.360 bar is because, you know, between men and women, apparently, you know, women are the ones with
00:07:35.240 the low standards, you know, men just have the high standards. Wait, so I see that. So,
00:07:42.480 so the girls are saying on social media that they have low standards for men. Is that what
00:07:48.460 they're trying to say? Sort of. You'll see it a second. I'm so confused. I'm ready for this
00:07:53.080 one. Let me see what's going on. All right. Sam's first. Yes. Guys, Sam's going for it. So I
00:08:00.500 guess while we're waiting, while we're waiting for ish to set this up, um, who do you guys
00:08:06.160 think has higher standards, men or women just off the bat? Women, for sure. Women. Women,
00:08:12.380 100%. From a biological standpoint, definitely the girls. Women. Women. Women. Yeah. See
00:08:18.580 this? It's interesting because everyone genuinely agrees here. I could tell I was like, this group
00:08:22.620 is going to be based. Um, I think like it's, I think it's important that like, we obviously
00:08:29.380 will be talking about the general trends of things, but then obviously there is, they're
00:08:35.260 outliers, right? So, um, from a biological standpoint, it makes sense that the girl's
00:08:40.180 more picky because you get pregnant, you're going to be nine months. Your body's going to
00:08:45.960 get distorted by the way. It's, you're never going to be the same and it's not fun giving
00:08:51.680 birth. So to subject yourself, you, you really have to, you know, really pick someone. Whereas
00:08:58.020 a guy, you almost can forget about it. That's why women, when they, um, when they ask questions
00:09:04.240 like, why can't we do the same things as men? Why can't we sleep around the same as men?
00:09:07.840 The answer's right there. You can get pregnant. It's not complicated. I hate that comparison
00:09:12.140 when women go off on a tangent, but you can do this or we can do this. You clearly can't
00:09:16.320 it's not just that. It's also a pair bonding too. Like, you know, uh, if you want to, um,
00:09:22.660 to be more likely to be successful in marriage, then it's on them to not, you know, the less
00:09:31.120 partners, the better sleep around. Yeah. Okay. You gotta make it full screen. The, the audience
00:09:36.080 can see it too, right? Okay. This is going to be interesting. And then they can see our reaction
00:09:43.640 too. Yeah. They can see our reaction too. Yeah. Sam's ready, guys.
00:09:56.740 It's about to get juicy.
00:09:58.080 Um, yeah, there's a little to the right, but yeah, that's fine. Then just play it and make
00:10:24.040 it full screen. Any predictions, Sam's? No, I'm waiting. What do you think? Whoa, wait,
00:10:30.660 wait, what do we think? What do you think we're about to see? I reckon you're going to hear
00:10:34.100 a lot of bullshit right now. Delusion. Pure delusion. Let's do this. And then let me know
00:10:39.920 in the chat if you guys can tell me about the time when you realized that the bar is super
00:10:43.160 low for Matt. I was less than 24 hours out from having my C-section with my son. Um, the hospital
00:10:52.620 was room in baby rooms in with you. I was up all night holding him and feeding him, um,
00:11:01.620 because he would not lay in the bassinet. So while I was up with him, while my now ex-husband
00:11:08.540 slept on the couch beside me the whole night, the lights were dim in the morning when my doctor
00:11:13.920 came to check on my incision. And I said, go ahead and turn the lights on. And he said, no,
00:11:21.420 let's let him sleep. I have my cell phone and I can use the flashlight on my cell phone.
00:11:26.420 So my doctor checked my C-section incision with the flashlight on his cell phone as to let my
00:11:36.420 husband continue sleeping. Tell me about the time when you realized that the bar is super
00:11:42.420 low for men. So one time I got rejected by this girl after our first date, like I thought it went well,
00:11:47.420 but apparently it didn't cause she told me, you know, after I asked her when she was free again,
00:11:50.880 she said like, you know, she wasn't into it. And, um, she just wasn't sure if she wanted to see him
00:11:55.500 again. No worries. So I texted her like, Hey, not a problem. Um, I get it. If you change your mind,
00:12:01.500 let me know you have my number, but if not, good luck out there. And I figured that'd be the end of
00:12:04.860 it. Um, and then like a week or two later, no contact, she hits me up and I get a second date.
00:12:09.980 Awesome. Um, so we go out and I figured I'd do better this time, but it was painfully obvious that I wasn't
00:12:15.200 going to get a third date out of this. Um, so towards the end, I just decided to ask her like
00:12:19.200 what, like, why did I get the second date? If you knew this wasn't for you. And she straight up told
00:12:25.040 me that it was because of the way I handled the rejection after the first date. Like I didn't
00:12:29.680 freak out. I didn't call her like a whore or anything like simply because I was able to take a no
00:12:34.520 for an answer. Like we have to do better guys. Tell me about the time when you realized that the bar
00:12:41.000 is super low for men. I was at the club with my friends and we were dancing, having fun. And
00:12:46.200 this guy came up to me and he said, Oh, I was looking at you and I thought you were so pretty.
00:12:51.000 And I just wanted to come out here and say that and like, do you want to like kiss a little bit?
00:12:58.040 And I said, no, I don't cause I'm here with my friends and I'm just having fun. I'm not interested.
00:13:05.560 And he said, Oh, that's all right then. Sorry for bothering you. And he turned around and walked away.
00:13:11.240 I have never found someone more attractive in my entire life. And I said to my friend,
00:13:17.480 I almost want to go after him and kiss him because he was respectful.
00:13:26.360 When I tell you the bar is way down in hell. Not kidding. Not kidding. Tell me about the time
00:13:36.200 when you realize that the bar is super low for men. I'm going to tell y'all how easy it is to get a
00:13:40.680 female to like you in college. If a girl is interested in you enough to come to your room and chill with
00:13:45.880 you, this is all you got to do. When she comes to your room, invite her to sit on the bed. You pull out
00:13:53.160 a chair and sit in that motherfucker. Do not go near her. Do not touch her. Just talk with her,
00:14:01.160 chill and vibe the entire time. Do this the first and maybe the second time y'all hang out.
00:14:07.480 And she'll be so shocked and impressed that you weren't just trying to that she going to attack
00:14:13.560 you. Next time y'all hang out. Mark my words. I was just banned on tick tock and we are demonetized
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