JustPearlyThings - Is The Bar Set Low For Men？

00:00:00.000 Hello, everyone. I'm Shahara. I'm 28. I'm in a long distance relationship. And I don't

00:00:08.160 know if it's fun, but a fact about me is my motivation for going to law school was to

00:00:12.840 exclusively advocate for men in family courts.

00:00:16.220 Oh, look, let's get it. Yeah. So are you a lawyer now?

00:00:21.740 No, no. So I'll be studying this.

00:00:23.960 Okay. What motivated you to do that?

00:00:26.320 Because I kind of accidentally fell into helping. I was mainly counselling somebody

00:00:34.400 who was going through a divorce and they just couldn't afford a lawyer. So I was like,

00:00:42.300 let me just see what I could do. And I was like, I'm actually really good at this. I was combining

00:00:46.240 all of these. I was doing all the legal research and kind of getting everything, like looking at

00:00:51.320 his case and seeing what can work and what couldn't. And I was just like, I'm really good at this.

00:00:56.100 And then I also saw what's happening and, you know, between the genders and the relations are

00:01:02.140 really bad. And I just think that, I mean, I've spoken to a few men and the perception that they

00:01:08.400 have of women and the legal system, I don't blame them whatsoever. But the perception that they have 1.00

00:01:13.560 of women is that, you know, the whole MGTOW thing can completely just go in their own way and 1.00

00:01:19.280 excuse them, excusing women. I was like, yeah, that's why I want to actually advocate for men 0.99

00:01:23.840 and show them that we're not all like that.

00:01:26.740 Yeah. No, it's interesting. I don't, is it, so in the US, I know if someone gets divorced and

00:01:34.060 they have a kid with a girl in certain States, they have to pay 25% of their after tax income

00:01:38.760 per kid. Um, I don't think it's as bad here. No, no. Is it, is it similar or no? I don't think

00:01:45.480 it's though. It can be similar, but I think what the thing is, I think the US is a bit more cutthroat

00:01:52.140 Yeah. Yeah. In terms of English law, we go by case by case and there's more of a, there's a lot

00:01:58.760 more fairness, I think from what I've seen so far, which is good because I mean, in America you have

00:02:04.180 community property States, which are just like completely just cut the house, the assets in the

00:02:10.540 middle. Who cares what happened in the case? Yeah. And that's horrible because some cases are really

00:02:15.680 unique and then they deserve attention, but then you have equitable distribution States in America,

00:02:20.100 some, some States and, uh, which is what you expect of the law to look at every single case.

00:02:26.460 And, uh, yeah, the, the, the one that I was involved in was an equitable distribution state.

00:02:32.760 So the factors, the ex-wife actually didn't fulfill the factors. Um, so that actually what gained like 0.99

00:02:40.020 that worked in favor of my client. What does fulfill the factors mean? So the statutory factors,

00:02:45.960 for he was in the state of Colorado and in the state of Colorado, you have statutory factors,

00:02:50.820 for example, yeah, I don't know how, how people are going to take this, but it is the factors. For

00:02:56.280 example, if she wants 50%, uh, she will basically get whatever percentage from the assets. It can,

00:03:04.320 uh, like compensate compensating for her contribution to the marriage. If she took care of children, 0.99

00:03:09.960 as a percentage, if she gave up things like homemaking, uh, as opposed to his 50%, does that

00:03:16.860 make sense? Yeah. So she can, it could be 70, you know, 20. Yeah. Like that. No, that's,

00:03:22.860 that's really cool. That's really interesting. When I found that about the state, I was like,

00:03:26.200 that's brilliant. Yeah. And community property States are really scary. Like California is,

00:03:30.420 that's, that's the one where I heard this guy was like going to retire and then he couldn't

00:03:35.080 retire because he, his wife left him and took the kid to Japan. Yeah. And like, it's crazy. Cause I

00:03:41.440 guess in some States, like the courts are separate, like the courts for like child support and the

00:03:46.440 divorce courts. So when he went to child support, like he would get child support, they would just

00:03:51.240 say, Oh, you weren't in the kid's life the last six months, but they don't put in the fact that

00:03:54.880 like she wasn't letting him be. Yeah. So it's kind of, it's very, um, especially in the U S here,

00:04:00.900 I looked up, I think they get like 13 to like 20% ish per kid. If that was correct. Right. 0.99

00:04:06.660 Is that, yeah. I don't, I don't know if that's, it's not as cutthroat, I think as the U S from

00:04:10.740 what I learned. No, but that's generally, but again, they look at each and every case,

00:04:14.460 which is important because we can't even, we can't say it's definitely going to go this way.

00:04:17.420 Right. Right. Okay. Sorry. That was just interesting. That's why I asked. Okay. Um,

00:04:22.260 so I was going to say on, on a slightly, slightly on a tangent, but similar topic, uh, fun fact,

00:04:29.660 like one of my friends who studied in law in the UK, I actually asked him about the topic of,

00:04:36.280 um, you know, like prenups. And I said, like, you know, it must be a good idea, right? You're

00:04:42.440 safeguarding yourself. You're safeguarding each person. Then you feel like it's a little bit

00:04:46.680 more comfortable going into the relationship. And I said, like, surely that's a good way to go,

00:04:52.880 you know, in a trusting way. And he was like, actually like, there are loopholes just because

00:04:57.160 you have a prenup does not mean you are going to get away, you know, without compensation. So,

00:05:03.340 um, it might work a little bit better in America, but let's say in the rest of the world, that's,

00:05:08.380 that's not the case. And he's like, if you're smart, especially like people who have wealth from

00:05:14.260 their family, old family, um, they actually like when their kids get married, they actually like,

00:05:20.880 they don't put things or assets under their children's name for a reason. Because if the

00:05:27.840 woman tries to divorce the man and try to get the assets, they can't because it's under the entire 1.00

00:05:34.080 family rather than under an individual. So he was saying like, there are ways that you can,

00:05:40.980 so you can put your sister's name, you can get your brother. So it's like, you know, like it's,

00:05:44.980 it's, it's not yours. It's, it's the family. And so if that's the way that something's named, then

00:05:51.080 you could, that, that you can kind of get away with it, but you cannot just say, well, I've got

00:05:54.440 prenup. So this is pre. Yeah. And that's scary. That scares me. It is. And it's hard because I'm

00:06:00.420 very pro marriage in like a family sense, but I understand like why guys don't want to get married.

00:06:05.400 You know, it like makes sense. Cause I'm like, if I had, if I could possibly lose this much of my

00:06:09.320 assets, I wouldn't want to get married either. If the, like the roles were reversed. And what's more

00:06:13.840 terrifying is that you don't even have to get married to get the same treatment.

00:06:17.740 That's the, you can't even cohabit because it's horrible. You can't even trust.

00:06:21.780 It's like, it's like they legally twist their arm. Like they say, well, you know what? No,

00:06:25.140 then let's not get married. And they say, ah, but if you live with her for this many years,

00:06:28.540 it's like, I actually, I don't know if anyone who's Canadian in the audience who might know,

00:06:34.620 but actually I heard that in Canada, maybe I might be making this up. I thought I heard that it

00:06:39.880 doesn't, you don't even have to marry it. If you've been living with your partner for a certain

00:06:43.000 amount of years, that automatically that person can try and get money from you. I don't, I don't

00:06:48.300 know. I don't know. I think that's, I think there that's true, but I might be wrong. So if anyone,

00:06:53.520 if I'm wrong, please correct me. Okay. I'm sorry. I got a little off topic. No, no, it was,

00:06:59.220 it's interesting. That's okay. So today we're talking about is the bar set low for men. So

00:07:04.140 the reason that I thought of this was because I was like scrolling through my TikTok and there's

00:07:11.100 this trend going around where it's like, girls will say, well, the bar is so low for men. And

00:07:15.280 then, you know, explain. And so I wanted to show you guys a video ish, if you want to pull

00:07:19.280 it up. Um, it's basically a compilation of girls when they talk about, you know, how, how low the

00:07:30.360 bar is because, you know, between men and women, apparently, you know, women are the ones with 1.00

00:07:35.240 the low standards, you know, men just have the high standards. Wait, so I see that. So,

00:07:42.480 so the girls are saying on social media that they have low standards for men. Is that what 1.00

00:07:48.460 they're trying to say? Sort of. You'll see it a second. I'm so confused. I'm ready for this

00:07:53.080 one. Let me see what's going on. All right. Sam's first. Yes. Guys, Sam's going for it. So I

00:08:00.500 guess while we're waiting, while we're waiting for ish to set this up, um, who do you guys

00:08:06.160 think has higher standards, men or women just off the bat? Women, for sure. Women. Women, 1.00

00:08:12.380 100%. From a biological standpoint, definitely the girls. Women. Women. Women. Yeah. See 0.97

00:08:18.580 this? It's interesting because everyone genuinely agrees here. I could tell I was like, this group

00:08:22.620 is going to be based. Um, I think like it's, I think it's important that like, we obviously

00:08:29.380 will be talking about the general trends of things, but then obviously there is, they're

00:08:35.260 outliers, right? So, um, from a biological standpoint, it makes sense that the girl's 0.93

00:08:40.180 more picky because you get pregnant, you're going to be nine months. Your body's going to 1.00

00:08:45.960 get distorted by the way. It's, you're never going to be the same and it's not fun giving

00:08:51.680 birth. So to subject yourself, you, you really have to, you know, really pick someone. Whereas

00:08:58.020 a guy, you almost can forget about it. That's why women, when they, um, when they ask questions 1.00

00:09:04.240 like, why can't we do the same things as men? Why can't we sleep around the same as men?

00:09:07.840 The answer's right there. You can get pregnant. It's not complicated. I hate that comparison

00:09:12.140 when women go off on a tangent, but you can do this or we can do this. You clearly can't 1.00

00:09:16.320 it's not just that. It's also a pair bonding too. Like, you know, uh, if you want to, um,

00:09:22.660 to be more likely to be successful in marriage, then it's on them to not, you know, the less

00:09:31.120 partners, the better sleep around. Yeah. Okay. You gotta make it full screen. The, the audience

00:09:36.080 can see it too, right? Okay. This is going to be interesting. And then they can see our reaction

00:09:43.640 too. Yeah. They can see our reaction too. Yeah. Sam's ready, guys.

00:09:56.740 It's about to get juicy.

00:09:58.080 Um, yeah, there's a little to the right, but yeah, that's fine. Then just play it and make

00:10:24.040 it full screen. Any predictions, Sam's? No, I'm waiting. What do you think? Whoa, wait,

00:10:30.660 wait, what do we think? What do you think we're about to see? I reckon you're going to hear

00:10:34.100 a lot of bullshit right now. Delusion. Pure delusion. Let's do this. And then let me know 1.00

00:10:39.920 in the chat if you guys can tell me about the time when you realized that the bar is super

00:10:43.160 low for Matt. I was less than 24 hours out from having my C-section with my son. Um, the hospital

00:10:52.620 was room in baby rooms in with you. I was up all night holding him and feeding him, um,

00:11:01.620 because he would not lay in the bassinet. So while I was up with him, while my now ex-husband

00:11:08.540 slept on the couch beside me the whole night, the lights were dim in the morning when my doctor

00:11:13.920 came to check on my incision. And I said, go ahead and turn the lights on. And he said, no,

00:11:21.420 let's let him sleep. I have my cell phone and I can use the flashlight on my cell phone.

00:11:26.420 So my doctor checked my C-section incision with the flashlight on his cell phone as to let my

00:11:36.420 husband continue sleeping. Tell me about the time when you realized that the bar is super

00:11:42.420 low for men. So one time I got rejected by this girl after our first date, like I thought it went well,

00:11:47.420 but apparently it didn't cause she told me, you know, after I asked her when she was free again,

00:11:50.880 she said like, you know, she wasn't into it. And, um, she just wasn't sure if she wanted to see him

00:11:55.500 again. No worries. So I texted her like, Hey, not a problem. Um, I get it. If you change your mind,

00:12:01.500 let me know you have my number, but if not, good luck out there. And I figured that'd be the end of

00:12:04.860 it. Um, and then like a week or two later, no contact, she hits me up and I get a second date.

00:12:09.980 Awesome. Um, so we go out and I figured I'd do better this time, but it was painfully obvious that I wasn't

00:12:15.200 going to get a third date out of this. Um, so towards the end, I just decided to ask her like

00:12:19.200 what, like, why did I get the second date? If you knew this wasn't for you. And she straight up told 0.97

00:12:25.040 me that it was because of the way I handled the rejection after the first date. Like I didn't

00:12:29.680 freak out. I didn't call her like a whore or anything like simply because I was able to take a no 0.95

00:12:34.520 for an answer. Like we have to do better guys. Tell me about the time when you realized that the bar 0.95

00:12:41.000 is super low for men. I was at the club with my friends and we were dancing, having fun. And

00:12:46.200 this guy came up to me and he said, Oh, I was looking at you and I thought you were so pretty.

00:12:51.000 And I just wanted to come out here and say that and like, do you want to like kiss a little bit?

00:12:58.040 And I said, no, I don't cause I'm here with my friends and I'm just having fun. I'm not interested.

00:13:05.560 And he said, Oh, that's all right then. Sorry for bothering you. And he turned around and walked away.

00:13:11.240 I have never found someone more attractive in my entire life. And I said to my friend,

00:13:17.480 I almost want to go after him and kiss him because he was respectful.

00:13:26.360 When I tell you the bar is way down in hell. Not kidding. Not kidding. Tell me about the time

00:13:36.200 when you realize that the bar is super low for men. I'm going to tell y'all how easy it is to get a 0.99

00:13:40.680 female to like you in college. If a girl is interested in you enough to come to your room and chill with 1.00

00:13:45.880 you, this is all you got to do. When she comes to your room, invite her to sit on the bed. You pull out

00:13:53.160 a chair and sit in that motherfucker. Do not go near her. Do not touch her. Just talk with her, 1.00

00:14:01.160 chill and vibe the entire time. Do this the first and maybe the second time y'all hang out.

00:14:07.480 And she'll be so shocked and impressed that you weren't just trying to that she going to attack

00:14:13.560 you. Next time y'all hang out. Mark my words. I was just banned on tick tock and we are demonetized

00:14:19.880 on a daily basis on this platform. If you want to help, please consider sending a super thanks

00:14:26.520 below. Every donation helps and it helps make what we do possible.

JustPearlyThings - April 07, 2023

Is The Bar Set Low For Men？

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