JustPearlyThings - Jake Maddock Joins Pearl Daily

00:00:00.000 Men, most answered very quickly, no, because men are useless. 0.90

00:00:07.740 This headline from The Hill, it caught my eye.

00:00:10.640 Most young men are single, most young women are not.

00:00:13.660 Young men have fallen faster than any demographic in America over the last 40 years.

00:00:18.380 It's a different world now, like we don't need men the way that they used to.

00:00:21.440 Nobody needs men! 1.00

00:00:22.680 The future is female. 1.00

00:00:24.260 Men and women are drifting further apart, and society is crumbling because of it. 0.99

00:00:32.260 A fascinating debate has broken out about the value of marriage.

00:00:35.540 You've kind of got the trad con versus red pill thing.

00:00:38.200 This men's rights crowd that sometimes just goes too far the other way.

00:00:41.760 You need to stop acting like grown boys and infants and actually become men.

00:00:45.820 Marriage is a bond, and it's a sacred bond.

00:00:48.280 It's a machine designed to extract resources from you.

00:00:51.420 Now, many of the red-pilled have taken the position that it's bad for men to get married. 0.99

00:00:56.280 It's Hannah Pearl Davis, or just pearly things.

00:01:00.040 One of the most controversial faces in all of the internet.

00:01:03.700 She goes on to say that marriage is a terrible deal for men.

00:01:06.560 Because if me and you were in a business contract, you would never sign a contract where I am paid to leave.

00:01:11.720 Gee, what could go wrong there?

00:01:13.900 74% or something of divorces are initiated by women. 0.53

00:01:17.360 Men have everything to lose, primarily their own children. 0.81

00:01:20.140 Men get killed by the courts and by divorce laws. 0.73

00:01:23.060 I had no idea that courts of family law were courts of equity, not courts of law.

00:01:28.000 Because in family court, you don't need evidence to accuse someone of abuse.

00:01:31.220 You need no evidence.

00:01:32.340 When you guys say get married young, a lot of these men don't know what they're signing up for,

00:01:36.000 and you're not going to be there when their entire life falls apart.

00:01:39.380 I interviewed them on the other side.

00:01:41.780 I didn't meet my son until he was 15 months old.

00:01:44.420 How much did you spend trying to get him back?

00:01:46.420 The legal fees alone was about $200,000.

00:01:48.600 Before you know it, you're homeless.

00:01:50.200 You're literally just thrown out onto the street.

00:01:52.120 We absolutely reinforce bad behavior from women. 1.00

00:01:54.520 Wives are taught to leave their husbands, and then daughters grow up without their fathers.

00:01:58.780 Family is the foundation of society.

00:02:00.480 Every problem in society comes from single mother homes. 1.00

00:02:03.640 A lot of women will just chase this negative rabbit hole of happiness, endless happiness. 1.00

00:02:07.900 Feminism's biggest failure is it lies to women. 1.00

00:02:09.920 We tell women to date as many guys as possible.

00:02:11.740 We tell them to put off family into marriage. 0.99

00:02:13.240 You are allowed to leave your perfect husband.

00:02:16.280 You are allowed to end a relationship with a really great boyfriend.

00:02:20.780 Oh, freeze your eggs.

00:02:21.560 Have an abortion.

00:02:22.580 What?

00:02:22.980 You're evil.

00:02:23.840 I don't think there's anything else in life that we actually ever go into preparing to fail.

00:02:27.600 Right.

00:02:27.880 Like, if you have the mentality of this is going to go wrong and be pessimistic,

00:02:31.720 naturally, the outcome is going to be that it's going to fail anyway.

00:02:34.460 It's self-sabotage.

00:02:35.360 That's the thing.

00:02:35.920 Like, women are so willing to leave marriages because they're not happy. 1.00

00:02:39.120 This is not about happiness.

00:02:40.620 The most important thing is the children.

00:02:43.280 And the problem is we have a modern society where it's me, me, me, my feelings, leave

00:02:47.920 when I feel like it, instead of doing what's best for the kids.

00:02:52.020 This myth that we live in an age of male privilege, where's my male privilege?

00:02:55.700 They think, well, men have all the rights. 0.95

00:02:57.180 They have all the power.

00:02:58.480 Privilege, patriarchal system that we have.

00:03:00.760 Why doesn't our society care about men's rights? 0.99

00:03:03.380 I have no friends, no wife, and no social life.

00:03:06.600 Men are alone in this situation.

00:03:08.500 Men are homeless.

00:03:09.140 Men are thinking about eating guns.

00:03:11.260 I've seen so many men on the brink of suicide, and they didn't do anything wrong.

00:03:15.640 How are you equal if the men are the ones that have to fight and die to defend the country?

00:03:21.020 The men are the ones that build and maintain all the infrastructure.

00:03:24.900 Women are helplessly dependent upon men. 0.99

00:03:27.560 The so-called deaths of despair from suicide, overdose, or alcohol, three times higher among

00:03:33.440 men than among women. 0.87

00:03:34.680 Culture is telling men, you are no good.

00:03:36.520 You've got to get your act together.

00:03:37.560 I think men have failed themselves.

00:03:39.360 What kind of a man are you?

00:03:40.660 What kind of a woman are you going to attract? 1.00

00:03:42.560 If men are in trouble, so are women. 0.66

00:03:45.220 Everybody knows this is a huge problem, but nobody wants to admit it.

00:03:48.860 Every single woman at the table said they wanted a man to get... 1.00

00:03:51.340 500K.

00:03:51.780 500K.

00:03:52.340 300K.

00:03:52.740 300K.

00:03:53.200 200K.

00:03:53.580 Am I crazy?

00:03:54.340 Everything is really set up against you to fail as a man.

00:03:56.580 If men make less than women, women don't want to marry them. 1.00

00:04:00.180 So you know who wants more economically and emotionally viable men?

00:04:04.080 Women. 0.81

00:04:05.580 I don't want to be an independent woman anymore.

00:04:07.700 I don't want to be a strong, independent woman.

00:04:09.960 I'm over it.

00:04:10.960 When is it going to be my turn?

00:04:12.420 Where are we meeting the men that don't stop?

00:04:14.200 I can't keep having these same conversations.

00:04:16.980 The only simp here is you, Pearl.

00:04:18.260 You simp for men. 0.99

00:04:18.860 No, I think you simp for women. 1.00

00:04:20.280 She's a provocateur. 1.00

00:04:21.240 She says stupid stuff.

00:04:22.420 But Pearl is right about this.

00:04:23.700 It's already happening.

00:04:24.840 It's just not out in the open yet.

00:04:26.300 Now it's just hookup culture is going to be our fairy tale ending because men don't want 0.99

00:04:29.920 a wife and women can't find a husband. 1.00

00:04:31.740 The future, if everybody follows your path, is there is no future.

00:04:36.240 We go into population decline and our economy goes into decline.

00:04:40.100 Civilization will crumble.

00:04:41.880 The American story does not end well.

00:04:44.440 This is an existential crisis failing young men.

00:04:52.220 What is going on, everybody?

00:04:54.780 Welcome to another episode of Pearl Daily.

00:04:56.920 As you guys know, that is our intro video.

00:04:59.480 I'm in a trailer for our upcoming documentary.

00:05:02.340 The challenge is they have demonetized me for a year and a half.

00:05:05.620 So I had to start from square one, raising funds for this.

00:05:09.780 And we have raised $25,000 for it, which is amazing.

00:05:13.520 However, we need to get to roughly 100K to get it finished.

00:05:17.240 So if you guys want to donate, feel free.

00:05:19.580 The link is in the description.

00:05:20.800 It's the second one.

00:05:22.240 Okay.

00:05:22.660 So getting into today's topic today, we have a special guest on the show.

00:05:28.040 And, um, guys, if you have a question for the guest, we're going to be doing more of these sit downs.

00:05:34.760 Feel free to super chat.

00:05:36.500 Um, be, be nice.

00:05:39.400 Always be respectful of the guests.

00:05:40.960 So please don't make me read anything that makes it awkward for me.

00:05:44.480 Okay.

00:05:44.980 So today's guest, I'm actually a fan of his stuff and I've seen him come up on my TikTok a good amount.

00:05:50.420 Um, so his name's Jake Maddock.

00:05:52.300 He has 120 followers on Instagram, almost 400,000 followers on Facebook and almost a million followers on TikTok where he coaches people to get into 10 out of 10 relationships.

00:06:05.640 Um, let's bring him up and let's welcome Jake to the show.

00:06:12.320 Hey, Pearl. 0.89

00:06:13.140 How are you, my friend?

00:06:14.080 I'm good.

00:06:14.760 How are you?

00:06:16.800 Fantastic.

00:06:17.460 Fantastic.

00:06:17.940 Thanks for having me.

00:06:18.540 Thanks for coming.

00:06:19.940 What time is it over there?

00:06:22.200 About 10 a.m.

00:06:23.160 Okay.

00:06:23.600 So it's early.

00:06:25.280 Um, so welcome to the show.

00:06:29.260 How, so I was kind of curious, how does one become a relationship and like dating coach?

00:06:35.040 How did that start for you?

00:06:37.380 Mostly passion, basically.

00:06:39.260 So I want to help as many people as I can.

00:06:41.800 Um, the long story is I was pretty bad at relationships.

00:06:45.240 No idea what I was doing.

00:06:46.780 My parents' relationship isn't very good.

00:06:48.960 Never has been.

00:06:49.600 It's okay.

00:06:50.200 But I didn't really know what I was doing.

00:06:52.540 And then I started learning and studying from other people and learning everything there was to learn.

00:06:56.860 And then once I achieved it, I thought, well, I gotta, I gotta teach other people this too.

00:07:00.520 And now here we are seven, eight years later.

00:07:02.780 And I've coached thousands of people and I love it.

00:07:05.240 Okay.

00:07:06.080 Cause that was kind of my first question was, um, how long have you been doing it and what's like your best success story?

00:07:15.820 Well, I got lots of great success stories.

00:07:18.160 My favorite success stories are people who, who are women who either came to me as widows or ones who have come to me and they have some, there's usually something holding them back.

00:07:31.700 Like I've helped a lot of people achieve a 10, a 10 out of 10 who are deaf, who have hearing aids, stuff like that.

00:07:38.440 Nothing major holding them back, just something small like that.

00:07:41.080 But watching them achieve a 10 out of 10 when I didn't think they could achieve it.

00:07:44.420 Amazing.

00:07:45.220 And what would you say are the main things that are holding people back from getting into the relationships that they want?

00:07:51.140 Because, you know, I come from like, um, more of like a reporting, I guess, angle, and the stats are pretty grim when it comes to dating and relationships.

00:08:00.000 So how do you help people find that?

00:08:02.380 Like, despite the odds nowadays?

00:08:05.380 Yeah, it's a good, it's a good question.

00:08:08.080 What's interesting about what I do, Pearl, it's a hundred percent success rate.

00:08:11.640 So every single person I coach achieves a 10 out of 10.

00:08:14.060 Most people achieve it within six months.

00:08:15.820 Some people take longer, but they, everyone achieves it.

00:08:18.220 I, I'm a strong believer that everyone can achieve it.

00:08:22.180 100%.

00:08:22.500 I think every single person can achieve it.

00:08:24.260 As long as you have the ability to go on a date, you can achieve a 10 out of 10.

00:08:27.760 Now, it always starts with mindset.

00:08:29.920 A lot of people have such a negative mindset.

00:08:32.600 They go, well, every guy I meet is going to be terrible.

00:08:36.180 You know, this isn't going to work.

00:08:38.340 I'm going to try, but there's, I'm not going to succeed.

00:08:41.720 This is a waste of time.

00:08:42.560 They've already failed before they've even started.

00:08:45.340 Right.

00:08:45.560 So we worked on that mindset, get that confidence going.

00:08:49.580 So then they can really start to get some progress happening.

00:08:52.680 And then from there, I show them how to get dates, proper high value, proper dating.

00:08:56.960 Right.

00:08:57.240 So they're doing proper dates.

00:08:58.420 And then I teach them all the fundamentals that I teach, the masculine, feminine energy,

00:09:02.200 how to communicate effectively, how to set boundaries, how to do all that stuff the right

00:09:06.440 way.

00:09:07.340 And then that's it.

00:09:07.960 Then you've achieved a 10 out of 10.

00:09:09.680 Okay.

00:09:10.100 And is it mostly women that you coach or do you coach men too?

00:09:12.940 So it's probably 80, 20 split.

00:09:15.820 Okay.

00:09:16.320 And what are the differences in the challenges you get from men versus women?

00:09:22.620 So when I'm coaching a man, I'm going to teach him lots of, you know, masculine energy 0.80

00:09:29.180 sort of stuff, the leadership, ambition, all that sort of jazz with the women that I coach. 0.96

00:09:34.720 It's a lot of the feminine stuff in the feminine communication. 1.00

00:09:36.960 So the nurturing, the caring, the support and the joy is how to push a man into his masculine

00:09:40.520 energy, how to get him to lead, how to do all that sort of stuff.

00:09:44.100 That's the main differences.

00:09:47.240 But that's about it.

00:09:48.520 You know, when you find your ideal partner, it's a beautiful mix of chemistry, compatibility,

00:09:52.180 X factor.

00:09:52.720 They can do the job, which is the same either way, regardless of your gender.

00:09:56.680 And you've really had never had one person that was just like, you've never had anyone

00:10:01.940 weird or like just really unlikable that just could not be helped in this industry.

00:10:08.360 It's a good, it's a good question.

00:10:09.800 You know what I mean?

00:10:11.020 It sounds unbelievable to me.

00:10:14.000 I, I, you know, I, I don't really like your stuff, but I'm like nobody that, that you

00:10:18.440 just couldn't help.

00:10:19.420 Go ahead.

00:10:20.940 So here's the thing to think about.

00:10:22.200 Yeah.

00:10:22.700 So I've coached a lot of people and yes, some of them I don't particularly like as

00:10:27.600 people, like they're not evil or anything, but he's like, that's a bit of a widow.

00:10:31.800 Right.

00:10:32.240 Yeah.

00:10:32.740 But the thing is, I'm going to help them find their widow.

00:10:35.800 Yeah.

00:10:36.240 Yeah.

00:10:36.620 So then they can be together.

00:10:38.080 I'm not going to have a relationship with them, but I'm going to help them achieve it.

00:10:41.660 Yeah.

00:10:42.480 So yeah, no, they've all, they've all achieved the 10 out of 10.

00:10:47.240 Some of them look terrible as well.

00:10:49.720 You know, people who are really tall, really short.

00:10:52.420 Ones who have great bodies, ones who are really big and fat, they all achieve a 10 out

00:10:56.400 of 10.

00:10:57.800 They're not the most beautiful couple, but they're in a 10 out of 10 and they're really

00:11:01.100 happy.

00:11:01.720 Yeah.

00:11:02.080 Which is, it's not a beauty contest, but yeah.

00:11:06.040 Yeah.

00:11:06.440 They're not everyone's cup of tea, but you only need one person, just one person to have

00:11:10.960 a great relationship with.

00:11:12.760 And so are, do you tell people to meet their people on the dating apps?

00:11:16.880 Do you in person, like what's your strategy for sourcing dates?

00:11:22.260 So my philosophy with this is you want to maximize the chance of success.

00:11:27.280 So if you really say, say if you were single right now and you go, okay, I want to achieve

00:11:31.480 a 10 out of 10 this year.

00:11:32.860 I'm going to maximize chance success.

00:11:34.360 Can use online dating.

00:11:35.500 Can I try to be people in public?

00:11:37.160 Can you, you know, might go to speed dating, might talk to friends, see if they have anyone

00:11:41.800 single.

00:11:42.100 I'm just going to maximize the chance of success and talk to as many people as I can.

00:11:45.220 So online dating.

00:11:47.240 So out of the thousands of people I coached, there's been about a handful who have achieved

00:11:51.960 it organically, but 99.9% online dating.

00:11:56.580 Yeah.

00:11:57.060 That's what I've seen too.

00:11:58.700 I don't really see people that go the in-person route, have a ton of success.

00:12:03.880 Um, that's just what I've seen.

00:12:06.160 It seems like most people, it's either Instagram or dating apps nowadays.

00:12:09.080 Statistically, it's just too slow to meet in person because you can meet, you might, if

00:12:15.180 you try really hard, you might meet one attractive person a day, but online dating, you can talk

00:12:20.660 to a hundred.

00:12:21.620 It's just statistically a lot faster.

00:12:23.460 Yeah.

00:12:23.900 And so what do you suggest for first dates?

00:12:26.700 What do you typically, is it dinner, drinks, a movie?

00:12:31.200 So always a high value date.

00:12:33.060 So a movie is not a date.

00:12:35.260 I love movies, a huge movie buff.

00:12:36.800 But a good date has very high communication.

00:12:40.040 If you're watching a movie, there's very low communication.

00:12:42.120 So that's no good.

00:12:43.020 So no movies, no drinks, no coffee, no going for a walk.

00:12:47.100 That's all, it's not enough effort on the guy's part.

00:12:50.360 So this is how a high value date works.

00:12:53.760 A guy asks to go on a date.

00:12:55.340 Hey, can I take you on a date this Friday?

00:12:56.580 She says, sure.

00:12:58.260 And he goes, great, I'll pick you up at seven.

00:13:00.000 He goes, he picks her up, opens the car door for a full gentleman stuff.

00:13:03.620 Then ideally he takes her out to some sort of activity.

00:13:06.800 Any sort of activity, something usually to break the ice, mini pot pot, whatever.

00:13:12.020 Some sort of menial sort of activity just to get comfortable, basically.

00:13:17.580 And then from there he takes her out to dinner.

00:13:19.680 Okay.

00:13:20.140 He pays for everything.

00:13:21.460 He's organized everything.

00:13:22.480 He does it all.

00:13:23.640 And then after that, he takes her home.

00:13:26.240 And hopefully he did a good enough job that she wants to kiss him.

00:13:28.380 Do you think that's too high investment for a first date?

00:13:34.960 I think if people dated like that, that would have more success. 0.51

00:13:39.020 So one of the rules which I have when I'm coaching someone is, if a guy wants to see you, it must be a high value date.

00:13:44.680 Okay.

00:13:45.080 That is the bin.

00:13:46.480 Yeah.

00:13:46.740 Okay.

00:13:48.380 Because I think from my point of view, I would think that if it's awkward or we don't get along, that I'm like stuck the whole night.

00:13:56.540 So.

00:13:56.900 Yeah.

00:13:57.200 I'll say that.

00:13:58.220 Yeah.

00:13:58.640 You have to be a good judge of character.

00:14:01.400 Yeah.

00:14:01.660 So like probably talk to the guy for a week first before going on the date, do a, do a video call, do a phone call, like have a good, so you go, okay, this guy's, we get along pretty good.

00:14:13.000 It seems like we have decent chemistry.

00:14:14.540 So then if you go on the date, you're like, okay, I know it's going to be at least pretty good.

00:14:20.240 Okay.

00:14:20.760 So you kind of, you vet the guys more before you actually get on the actual dates.

00:14:26.060 100%.

00:14:26.460 Yeah.

00:14:26.900 Because a good, a good high value date goes for about four hours.

00:14:30.080 Okay.

00:14:30.480 And it's, we don't do short dates.

00:14:33.860 We want to do a long, decent date.

00:14:35.460 So you have enough time to build the attraction up, create chemistry and create a spark, some compatibility.

00:14:40.540 If it's too short, there's not enough time to build attraction.

00:14:42.940 Right.

00:14:43.320 So get to know them a little bit before the date.

00:14:45.860 And then by the time the date happens, you've got a real chance that it's something awesome being built.

00:14:52.360 And how many dates on average do your clients have to go on before they find someone they really like?

00:14:57.860 And do you tell the women that if they don't like the guy, like first date, to still see him again or just to cut it?

00:15:03.860 So the amount of dates it takes when I'm coaching someone to achieve a 10 out of 10 on average is about 15 high value dates.

00:15:12.740 So if you do 15 first dates, you should have met your ideal partner approximately.

00:15:16.360 Some faster, some slower, but average 15.

00:15:18.340 Um, now if you go on a first date with somebody, sometimes they can be a little bit nervous, right?

00:15:24.560 So it's kind of hard to tell if there's much attraction there.

00:15:28.560 So I say, well, look, if it's, you know, it's a six out of 10 sort of attraction, like they're okay.

00:15:34.420 Give them, give them one more date.

00:15:36.320 Okay.

00:15:37.000 By the end of the second date, you should be able to feel something special there.

00:15:41.160 And do you coach women to hold off on sleeping with the guy? 0.70

00:15:47.800 Do you tell them at all when they should, when they shouldn't?

00:15:51.240 So I know the guys, the guys watching this are going to be like, what am I, what am I getting laid in this whole thing?

00:15:56.580 Yeah.

00:15:57.320 Yeah.

00:15:57.680 Yeah.

00:15:57.760 A hundred percent.

00:15:59.700 Sex is a very interesting topic.

00:16:01.340 Yeah.

00:16:01.620 It's a very, um, it's almost like an emotional thing.

00:16:06.460 It's a very feeling based thing, sex.

00:16:08.420 Right.

00:16:08.820 So my rule is I want you to do it when it feels right.

00:16:13.480 That's my rule.

00:16:14.480 So that's very open to interpretation.

00:16:17.400 Okay.

00:16:18.360 I'm going to tell you a fun statistic though.

00:16:20.080 Out of the thousands of people I've coached, about 75% of the people slept with their ideal partner on the very first date.

00:16:27.620 Yeah.

00:16:28.240 That's.

00:16:30.240 Yeah.

00:16:30.700 Cause I feel like it's like, if you don't want to pretty quick, then you just never will.

00:16:36.240 Would you agree with that?

00:16:37.320 Most of the time.

00:16:38.260 Yeah.

00:16:38.500 Go ahead.

00:16:39.380 Yeah.

00:16:40.040 When you meet your ideal partner, the camp compatibility is amazing.

00:16:42.980 So you want to talk to them all the time.

00:16:44.840 The chemistry is so amazing that even on the first day you want to rip their clothes off.

00:16:48.000 Right.

00:16:48.340 Yeah.

00:16:48.800 If that's not there, it's not usually a great sign.

00:16:52.320 Like we want that chemistry really high.

00:16:54.960 Yeah.

00:16:55.880 So what do you tell women that are afraid that like, they're not going to get called back if they sleep with the guy too soon?

00:17:01.040 I tell them to change their expectation on it.

00:17:05.880 So I go, okay, if you want to sleep with the guy, you do it.

00:17:10.480 Okay.

00:17:11.540 Yes.

00:17:11.860 There is a chance he may not want to talk to you again.

00:17:14.340 Maybe.

00:17:15.400 Yeah.

00:17:16.080 Or he might want to be with you forever.

00:17:18.400 You don't know when you sleep with someone doesn't determine that.

00:17:22.180 So you might wait three months and then sleep with him.

00:17:24.500 And then he doesn't talk to you again, or you can do it on the first date and not talk to you again.

00:17:27.940 It's you don't know.

00:17:29.260 Right.

00:17:30.180 But that's why I go, okay, if you want to do it, you do it with, and there's no expectation afterwards.

00:17:35.800 You go, okay, well, if he wants to see me again, great.

00:17:37.900 If he doesn't want to, that's okay.

00:17:39.460 I did it because I wanted to do it.

00:17:41.000 Yeah.

00:17:41.580 No, that's a better mentality to have.

00:17:44.180 If you take the L, it's going to happen sooner or later.

00:17:48.220 A hundred percent.

00:17:48.960 Yeah.

00:17:49.200 A hundred percent.

00:17:49.700 You don't.

00:17:50.300 You can't get anything worth it.

00:17:52.280 Go ahead.

00:17:52.840 Sorry.

00:17:53.180 I think there's a delay.

00:17:55.200 No, it's okay.

00:17:55.700 If you sort of go, well, I don't want that to happen.

00:17:58.980 And it's sort of making it transactional, which love's not really supposed to be like that.

00:18:03.840 So you want to take that out of it.

00:18:07.160 Yeah.

00:18:09.600 Okay.

00:18:10.240 So you tell them, basically your system is within 15 dates.

00:18:15.280 Generally, they find their ideal partner.

00:18:18.700 Yeah.

00:18:19.280 And that's the person they can be with for the rest of their life.

00:18:22.960 Cool.

00:18:23.240 And so what happens after that?

00:18:25.420 Like, what's the timeline that you generally suggest from dating to marriage to kids, assuming

00:18:31.940 someone wants that?

00:18:34.220 Yeah.

00:18:34.560 So, so you meet someone online dating about a week later, you go on the first date after

00:18:39.500 talking to them for a week.

00:18:40.340 And then about a week later, you go on a second date and you go on a date with that person

00:18:43.480 about once a week for the first month.

00:18:45.980 Okay.

00:18:46.380 By the end of the first month, you're going to go exclusive with each other.

00:18:48.840 So you're not seeing anybody else.

00:18:49.940 You're the leader of the dating apps.

00:18:50.960 You're just talking to each other and then about another month goes by where you're still

00:18:54.780 going on regular dates, talking every day.

00:18:57.040 Then you go official.

00:18:58.400 So you say, I love you to each other, become Facebook official, advertise the fact that

00:19:02.820 you're a couple, right?

00:19:04.340 Then you keep seeing each other, keep dating, having a great time, getting to know each other.

00:19:08.200 Then around the six month mark, you're going to move in together.

00:19:11.400 Now, one thing I teach is that a woman moves into the man's house, a man doesn't move 1.00

00:19:15.840 into the woman's house or you get a whole new house together. 1.00

00:19:18.980 Okay.

00:19:19.400 Okay.

00:19:19.640 And then from there, you enjoy living together, have a great time.

00:19:23.780 And then around the one year mark, 18 month mark, you get engaged.

00:19:27.420 Okay.

00:19:29.040 And then from there, about six to nine months later, you get married.

00:19:32.300 And then as soon as you're married, have kids immediately.

00:19:37.940 Do you think that's fast?

00:19:40.160 Cause that's like the, I think the average now is like three years of dating before you

00:19:45.020 even get married.

00:19:46.760 Yeah.

00:19:47.140 It's a little bit too slow.

00:19:48.520 It's a little bit too slow.

00:19:49.460 So that three years of dating is okay if you're 18, for example.

00:19:56.140 But other than that, why so slow?

00:19:59.180 Like you don't want to go too fast, but also some people go too slow.

00:20:02.260 Some people wait nine months before saying, I love you.

00:20:04.580 It's just way too slow.

00:20:06.400 There's no, it's a sign of how much you like the person is the speed.

00:20:10.240 If you have really, really high attraction with someone, you're going to see quite consistent,

00:20:15.360 pretty fast progression.

00:20:16.920 If the progression is really slow, it's five years to engagement and all this sort of stuff.

00:20:21.300 It's just too slow.

00:20:23.660 Do you think sometimes though, that's guys trying to like mitigate risk?

00:20:27.980 Like they don't want to take the risk of getting married?

00:20:30.560 Possibly, but then you've got to ask yourself, I suppose then you have to ask yourself the

00:20:35.700 question, do I want to be in a relationship with a guy who really lets fear run his decisions?

00:20:40.640 I've, I've have a little different of an opinion on that, but I don't, you know, I'm not trying

00:20:51.540 to like debate that topic, but okay.

00:20:54.420 Okay.

00:20:55.060 Yeah.

00:20:55.500 Cause it's, yeah, go ahead.

00:20:57.060 A lot of, a lot of men do marry the wrong person. 0.75

00:20:59.820 Yeah.

00:21:00.600 They do, but they're stupid.

00:21:03.520 So.

00:21:04.640 I don't know.

00:21:05.520 I don't know, Jake.

00:21:06.300 I've seen some guys marry women that were like good on paper and then like, they just

00:21:11.220 go crazy after they have the kids.

00:21:13.800 They do.

00:21:14.600 So that's why as a man, you have to be a good judge of character, men and women, you've

00:21:17.640 got to be a great judge of character.

00:21:18.880 You've got to know exactly what you're looking for, exactly what you're not looking for.

00:21:22.080 And then, you know, you have to know how to have the ability to have a good relationship.

00:21:25.800 Yeah.

00:21:26.100 A lot of people can achieve a 10 out of 10, but then they have no idea how to maintain

00:21:29.840 it.

00:21:30.100 And it falls apart really fast.

00:21:32.440 You have to know how to maintain a 10 out of 10 as well.

00:21:35.080 So what do you think that people generally get wrong?

00:21:38.740 Like when it comes to maintaining a relationship?

00:21:42.980 They don't do the fundamentals and they just, instead of maintaining fundamentals and having

00:21:48.840 a sense of, I guess you'd call it discipline or doing the right things consistently, they

00:21:55.460 just go, ah, I don't feel like it this week might maybe later.

00:22:01.200 Like they don't, they have no discipline on maintaining the fundamentals that I talk about

00:22:05.220 and then just falls apart.

00:22:08.160 Could you give me like specific examples of things that women do and men do like both

00:22:13.740 that causes relationships to fall apart?

00:22:17.380 Yeah, for sure.

00:22:18.360 So both parties often slip out of their masculine and feminine energy and their partner doesn't 0.72

00:22:25.260 help them get back into it.

00:22:26.800 So if you're in a relationship, try to help your partner with the masculine or feminine 0.60

00:22:29.680 energy both ways.

00:22:30.840 Okay.

00:22:31.080 To help them.

00:22:31.780 Okay.

00:22:32.020 You're a team.

00:22:32.680 Work together with it.

00:22:33.620 And then the fundamentals that I'm talking about, Pearl, are things like, I want you to

00:22:37.880 go on a date once a week.

00:22:38.800 I want the husband to take the wife on a date once a week or once every second week, but 0.99

00:22:42.200 fairly regularly.

00:22:43.260 Okay.

00:22:43.580 A proper day, high value day, like I talk about.

00:22:46.220 Be intimate three times a week on average.

00:22:48.800 Okay.

00:22:50.040 Two 20 second hugs every day.

00:22:52.300 All right.

00:22:53.300 Do a dual hobby and a dual goal together and no arguing at all ever.

00:22:59.720 All right.

00:23:00.440 Now, if you do those fundamentals, it's going to be really good.

00:23:02.600 A lot of people get, they get quite lazy and complacent and go, oh, I don't feel like

00:23:08.140 going on a date this week or I don't really feel like being intimate today.

00:23:13.420 And they just keep on, they get kind of lazy and it's just shit.

00:23:19.100 Yeah.

00:23:19.320 The amount of sexless marriages is actually crazy.

00:23:22.380 I'm sure you've seen that doing what you do.

00:23:25.740 Yeah.

00:23:26.320 Yeah.

00:23:26.820 A lot.

00:23:27.760 It's a big part of masculine and feminine energy as well.

00:23:30.880 Okay.

00:23:31.760 The man slips out of his masculine energy.

00:23:33.500 The woman goes more into a masculine energy. 1.00

00:23:35.080 So she's leaving everything.

00:23:36.500 She doesn't feel like sleeping with him.

00:23:38.460 They, they argue a lot.

00:23:40.620 Masculine energy plays a big role in it. 1.00

00:23:44.720 So how can a couple get to arguing?

00:23:47.360 Never.

00:23:47.980 I'm sure the guys are like, I want that.

00:23:50.320 Never, never arguing.

00:23:52.000 God.

00:23:53.280 It's a discipline thing mostly.

00:23:55.400 Okay.

00:23:55.660 So if you want to have an argument again, just take a second and say to yourself, that's

00:24:01.780 it.

00:24:02.360 I'm never going to argue with another person ever again.

00:24:05.080 Ever.

00:24:06.160 Yeah.

00:24:06.360 Set a boundary with yourself.

00:24:07.900 Set your own personal boundary.

00:24:10.680 I did that years and years ago, even before me and my wife.

00:24:13.520 And you just, you don't need to argue with anybody.

00:24:15.420 If someone disagrees with you, you go, that's okay.

00:24:18.100 It's okay.

00:24:18.980 You don't need to make them, you don't need to change their mind on something.

00:24:23.200 Just don't argue.

00:24:24.200 You don't need to argue.

00:24:25.500 If you have two people in a relationship and you both agree to that, it's fantastic.

00:24:28.940 You're both on the same page.

00:24:30.020 There's no need to argue.

00:24:30.820 Now, there is a difference between a disagreement and an argument.

00:24:34.020 Okay.

00:24:34.700 A disagreement is you just don't agree on one thing.

00:24:37.980 Okay.

00:24:38.200 Not a big deal.

00:24:39.140 An argument is a disagreement that's full of disrespect and aggression.

00:24:42.820 It has no place in life as an adult.

00:24:45.700 Could I get two specific examples of like, what would be a way that someone is disagreeing

00:24:53.360 versus arguing, maybe on the same topic?

00:24:57.160 Yeah, yeah, for sure.

00:24:57.840 So you might disagree on what to eat for dinner.

00:25:00.540 One person wants steak, one person wants chicken, right?

00:25:03.280 And some people might let that escalate, that small disagreement and may escalate into an

00:25:08.800 argument by, you know, one partner might say, well, you never listen to what I want to

00:25:13.280 do.

00:25:13.620 You always do what you want to do.

00:25:14.960 You never compromise on anything.

00:25:16.460 We never get to eat what I want to eat.

00:25:17.980 And it creates an argument.

00:25:19.820 Yeah.

00:25:21.680 Yeah.

00:25:22.280 Just, it's usually over something simple and small.

00:25:24.980 Okay.

00:25:26.360 Okay.

00:25:26.720 Um, so they, they never, so what's the longest like marriage you've had now, like from the

00:25:40.760 people you've coached?

00:25:44.120 Um, I think from people who came to me single, the people who have the longest marriage so

00:25:52.340 far is maybe three years.

00:25:54.440 Okay.

00:25:54.960 Yeah.

00:25:56.180 Yeah.

00:25:57.100 So that was one of the first people I started coaching.

00:26:00.220 Okay.

00:26:01.800 And I helped her find her 10 out of 10 and then they do the timeline properly. 0.74

00:26:07.480 And then we married about three years now.

00:26:09.540 They have a baby.

00:26:10.440 Yeah.

00:26:11.140 Wow.

00:26:11.500 That's pretty cool.

00:26:13.340 Yeah.

00:26:13.740 So I get invited to a lot.

00:26:15.700 So how many, you said you've coached thousands of people at this point.

00:26:20.260 Yep.

00:26:20.740 And what would you say the biggest mistakes that women are making when it comes to dating? 1.00

00:26:26.720 Like, why do you think women, like more women are single than ever? 0.97

00:26:32.200 They, it sounds bad, but they don't have the right mindset for modern dating.

00:26:39.720 Okay.

00:26:40.680 Okay.

00:26:41.080 So they, they're quite fast to give up.

00:26:44.520 I see that a lot.

00:26:45.600 So I go, okay, I really want to achieve a 10 out of 10.

00:26:49.140 I'm going to jump on online dating.

00:26:50.840 They meet two or three weirdos and they go, no, deleting it.

00:26:54.280 They give up really, really fast.

00:26:56.240 Okay.

00:26:56.660 Yeah, that's true.

00:26:58.740 It's, it's quite a battlefield online dating.

00:27:01.580 You have extremely, you'd have a really good sense of perseverance and really go, if I meet a hundred weirdos, it's fine.

00:27:08.860 It's not a big deal.

00:27:09.380 You got to really get good at blocking, deleting, blocking, deleting, like really hard at it.

00:27:13.560 It's monotonous, but try to, sometimes can be fun to think of it as a game.

00:27:18.460 Um, and then also just simple feminine communication stuff, which basically in a nutshell is just being nice and flirty and bubbly and enjoyable to talk to.

00:27:32.400 Okay.

00:27:32.900 Could I have an example of maybe something that women do wrong versus what they should do? 1.00

00:27:38.440 Yeah, for sure.

00:27:39.320 So they might be, um, well, one thing actually I was coaching a woman this morning, she's given the wrong guys the right chances. 0.99

00:27:46.960 So a guy's been really weak and flaky and, oh, really noncommittal, right?

00:27:53.540 Yeah.

00:27:53.860 Oh, but I really like him.

00:27:55.120 So I'm going to keep giving him a chance and keep, and she's just really trying hard.

00:27:59.680 It's like, no, if he's, if he's doing all the wrong things and he's being just really, basically, he's, he's a real feminine guy.

00:28:08.160 Just go, no, don't, don't beg a guy to be with you.

00:28:11.120 So one thing I teach sunflower and the bee, the woman's a sunflower, the man's the bee.

00:28:14.960 Some women act like they're the bee. 1.00

00:28:17.320 So they're really aggressively chasing these guys.

00:28:20.100 It's supposed to be the other way around.

00:28:21.220 You got to attract them in, not chase them out.

00:28:23.940 Yeah.

00:28:24.440 And if you, I don't know if you've interviewed or like spoken to some of the guys, I've interviewed guys that have like, they run through these dating apps.

00:28:32.920 And if you saw their phones, it's like, there is nothing you could do.

00:28:36.640 Like if, if, if you got on a date with one of those guys and he's not calling you back, just take the owl.

00:28:41.620 I'm telling you, because like a lot of, a lot of those guys have like 20 women.

00:28:46.380 And I mean, you've seen the numbers with dating apps where it's like a small percentage of men basically running through them.

00:28:53.240 Yep.

00:28:53.840 Yeah.

00:28:54.400 Yeah.

00:28:54.740 I understand.

00:28:55.540 You have to be a good judge of character.

00:28:57.640 So my advice to people, don't stress too much about what the statistics say.

00:29:03.900 Yeah.

00:29:04.220 Yeah.

00:29:04.460 There's a lot of statistics out there, which say, basically you just, you're not, you're not going to achieve a 10 out of 10 and only the top 1% gets what they want.

00:29:13.580 I've helped lots of people who are definitely not very good looking or have good bodies at all achieve a 10 out of 10.

00:29:19.840 So there's people who want love on all levels, right?

00:29:22.880 Just, you've got to be sort of realistic a little bit as well.

00:29:26.720 So if you're, you know, if you're a 55 year old woman, you're overweight and you're just average looking, don't go for a guy who's 32 and got a six pack and all this sort of stuff.

00:29:39.140 It's just not going to work.

00:29:40.500 Yeah.

00:29:41.480 Do you see that happening?

00:29:43.220 Like 55 year old woman going for 32 year olds? 1.00

00:29:47.140 Yeah, it does.

00:29:48.120 It does happen.

00:29:49.020 Yeah.

00:29:49.340 And I'm basically saying, look, yes, you do look good for your age, but it's not going to work.

00:29:54.860 Yeah.

00:29:55.060 He might take you on a date.

00:29:56.060 He might want to sleep with you.

00:29:57.080 Sure.

00:29:57.820 But it's never going to become a relationship.

00:29:59.440 Don't waste your time.

00:30:00.220 It's got to be age appropriate with a guy who's pretty similar to you.

00:30:05.140 Okay.

00:30:05.440 You got to be realistic.

00:30:06.800 Yeah.

00:30:07.360 That's actually why I liked your stuff is I, um, a lot of female dating coaches, I find the pander, but you were actually pretty honest with women.

00:30:15.980 And I really liked that about your stuff.

00:30:19.240 I appreciate that.

00:30:20.240 You got to be honest.

00:30:21.260 They're going to find out eventually how tough it is.

00:30:23.220 So you got to, you got to prepare them a little bit.

00:30:25.920 Yeah.

00:30:26.500 And I've seen, I just, sometimes like you, you hear the super high standards, but the one thing I will say is a lot of women say like they have these crazy high standards. 0.96

00:30:37.040 But if you look at who they sleep with or have dated in the past, it's not actually what they say.

00:30:42.080 Have you found that too or no?

00:30:44.480 All the time.

00:30:45.340 Yeah.

00:30:45.600 All the time.

00:30:46.200 Yeah.

00:30:46.620 Women will come to me. 1.00

00:30:47.240 Oh, I'm really, I'm a high value person.

00:30:49.820 I've got high standards.

00:30:50.580 I'm like, okay, tell me about your ex.

00:30:52.440 It's like a broke loser living on his car.

00:30:59.000 Yeah.

00:30:59.320 I'm like, something a high value person will do.

00:31:01.140 And I'm like, oh yeah, shit, you're right.

00:31:05.940 No.

00:31:06.480 And it's, it's funny.

00:31:07.500 Um, cause when I first started doing the content, I just thought the standards were like insane.

00:31:12.640 And at first I thought it was just an internet thing, but I would like meet women that, um, that had the, like that they would tell me these crazy high standards. 1.00

00:31:21.800 But then I realized I'm like, oh my gosh, they don't mean it.

00:31:25.120 They just are saying that because I would see like, it was kind of an evolution where I would see who they'd actually date and it would not be near what they told me they wanted.

00:31:37.600 Right.

00:31:39.040 Yeah.

00:31:39.440 It's almost a bit delusional, really.

00:31:41.700 Yeah.

00:31:42.640 Um, so I guess when you are coaching women, are there like archetypes of women that you see?

00:31:51.060 Like the, like typical clients that you have?

00:31:54.380 Um, like, yeah, like the divorce.

00:31:57.800 Yeah.

00:31:58.040 Go ahead.

00:31:58.320 Go ahead.

00:31:59.640 Yeah.

00:32:00.100 Most of the people, most of the women I coach are divorced.

00:32:03.020 Um, I coach a lot of widows, coach women who are divorced. 0.84

00:32:07.580 Um, I coach a lot of women who do real estate. 1.00

00:32:11.620 They have a lot of trouble.

00:32:14.180 Um, yeah.

00:32:15.260 Aren't they like the former bottle girls? 1.00

00:32:17.220 I've seen like the bottle girl to real estate pipeline. 1.00

00:32:21.180 Yeah.

00:32:21.780 Yeah.

00:32:22.220 They're usually really pretty though.

00:32:23.500 Right.

00:32:23.840 Yeah.

00:32:24.040 They look great.

00:32:26.020 Yeah.

00:32:27.040 With their feminine energy, they're a bit bossy. 1.00

00:32:29.860 So I help them with that.

00:32:31.860 Um, they sometimes can be a little bit delusional on what they think they can get in the dating scene.

00:32:40.480 Um, but then I slowly change that mindset and go, Hey, everyone's looks going to fade.

00:32:46.600 Anyway, we're all going to get more gray hairs as years go by.

00:32:49.380 We got more wrinkles, you know, we're going to be less attractive as time goes by as well.

00:32:54.460 Um, so you've got to go for something deeper, the personality and all that sort of stuff.

00:33:02.260 So a guy who's nice, a guy who's masculine, that's what we're really, we're looking for.

00:33:06.120 So we changed that mindset a little bit.

00:33:07.580 Um, yeah, the bottle, um, do you think it's cause they're around a lot of really wealthy,

00:33:16.080 successful guys all day, the real estate girl?

00:33:19.660 Cause it's like, obviously if they're selling to their clients have to usually be pretty high

00:33:25.740 net worth.

00:33:26.440 I don't know.

00:33:26.680 They're on sales guys who are kind of notorious players.

00:33:31.480 Yeah.

00:33:32.240 Sometimes, um, it's interesting.

00:33:34.980 So I do meet a lot of arrogant people, but then I, I've seen that arrogance doesn't really

00:33:41.580 arrogance is totally different than confidence, isn't it?

00:33:43.760 So people who are arrogant, it usually stems from insecurity.

00:33:47.160 So really deep down, they're quite insecure about themselves and feel pretty bad.

00:33:51.840 So they try to validate and try to build up this identity through arrogance.

00:33:56.900 We flip all that around to come from a more angle of humility and real confidence.

00:34:03.820 Yeah.

00:34:03.960 Not from just vanity and insecurity.

00:34:07.880 So it's not really real.

00:34:09.120 And it's doesn't matter how much Botox you take, ladies, eventually you're going to look 1.00

00:34:13.240 older.

00:34:13.940 Yeah.

00:34:15.320 Take Botox.

00:34:16.260 Botox is fine.

00:34:17.060 You can do it if you want to, but eventually, you know, we all age.

00:34:21.980 It's okay.

00:34:22.460 It's not a big deal.

00:34:24.020 Yeah.

00:34:24.260 How do you think, um, women's options change as they age? 0.99

00:34:31.780 Um, it's a good question.

00:34:36.820 Short answer.

00:34:37.520 I don't really care what someone's age is.

00:34:40.600 You can achieve a 10 out of 10.

00:34:42.120 I coach a lot of women in their sixties, achieve a 10 out of 10.

00:34:45.800 Um, they look like they're into their sixties.

00:34:48.420 The guys they achieve a 10 out of 10 with look like they're in their sixties and they

00:34:52.500 are in their sixties.

00:34:53.380 Um, that's okay.

00:34:55.420 Yeah.

00:34:55.820 So there's not, it doesn't really change as long as you date age appropriate, it's totally

00:35:00.540 fine.

00:35:01.200 And they just do the fundamentals and they can fall in love with that person and achieve

00:35:04.720 a 10 out of 10.

00:35:05.880 They all still achieve a 10 out of 10.

00:35:07.680 So yeah, if you're listening to this guys, I don't really care what your age is.

00:35:11.440 You can definitely achieve a 10 out of 10.

00:35:14.340 What do you think about age gaps?

00:35:18.060 My rule is keep it within 15 years.

00:35:21.800 Okay.

00:35:23.380 So statistically speaking, relationships usually go better of the man's about five years

00:35:27.240 older, but if you're a woman over 50, that, that changes a little bit.

00:35:32.480 Okay.

00:35:33.680 So, and it changes as time goes on.

00:35:36.240 So if you're, if you're, if you're a girl in her twenties, obviously date a guy five years

00:35:41.080 older, at least, at least right.

00:35:42.700 Cause the maturity levels wouldn't mature faster emotionally.

00:35:46.480 Um, I haven't helped a lot of women who are in their very late thirties find a husband 1.00

00:35:50.440 who's in his early thirties and they have babies together and it's fantastic.

00:35:53.880 It's fine.

00:35:54.300 That's good.

00:35:54.880 If you're over 50, then you can date older or younger.

00:36:00.940 It doesn't really matter as much.

00:36:04.020 Okay.

00:36:04.380 But again, you still want to keep within 15 years and, but it's also age appropriate.

00:36:11.480 So there's a big difference between a woman who's 30 dating a 45 year old than a 45 year

00:36:16.720 old woman dating a 30 year old man.

00:36:19.440 Yeah.

00:36:20.260 You think it's worse when the woman's older or it doesn't, it just doesn't work. 1.00

00:36:25.140 So if you're a 45 year old woman and you want to date a 30 year old man, there is zero chance

00:36:30.740 it's going to become a 10 out of 10.

00:36:32.080 You're dreaming.

00:36:33.660 Yeah.

00:36:34.160 Cause he's going to want kids and you can't really, I know some women do, but it's a 45. 1.00

00:36:39.520 Maybe you could pop out one 30 year old guy.

00:36:42.800 He's going to want kids.

00:36:43.980 I think, or do you not think you agree?

00:36:46.480 Disagree?

00:36:47.680 Well, yeah, usually, usually men of that age group do want kids, but also not only the,

00:36:53.480 that's probably not the main reason it wouldn't work.

00:36:56.660 I teach the woman should be the prettier one. 1.00

00:37:00.140 Okay.

00:37:00.760 In the relationship.

00:37:02.060 Okay.

00:37:03.680 Okay.

00:37:04.240 Yeah.

00:37:05.360 Good.

00:37:06.240 So not, not by heaps, but I want the girl to be a little bit prettier than the boy is.

00:37:12.360 Okay.

00:37:13.080 Some relationships, the girl wants the guy to be a real pretty boy.

00:37:18.820 It's doesn't really work that well.

00:37:21.120 I want you, him to look at you and go, she is so gorgeous, right?

00:37:24.280 If you're 20 years older, you got a lot of competition with girls 20 years younger than

00:37:28.860 you.

00:37:29.200 It's just, it doesn't really work like that.

00:37:32.660 Human beings aren't wired like that very well.

00:37:34.900 Yeah.

00:37:35.200 I mean, you can date the pretty boy, but then you're going to have pretty boy problems.

00:37:39.520 You know, you can just don't come crying to me when you get what comes with that.

00:37:45.200 That's right.

00:37:48.120 It's, it's much easier if you date a guy who's, I don't know, a seven out of 10, but he's a

00:37:52.780 10 out of 10 personality.

00:37:54.460 It's way better than dating a 10 out of 10 looks and a seven out of 10 personality.

00:37:59.480 Yeah.

00:37:59.940 No, because I've interviewed, I've had a lot of PUAs and stuff on the show and some, I

00:38:05.540 would say like objectively could be male models.

00:38:09.200 Those guys are getting approached in public.

00:38:11.360 I'm like, women, you don't want, you do not want to date a guy that is getting approached 0.99

00:38:16.220 in public.

00:38:16.800 You don't want those kinds of problems.

00:38:18.380 I'm telling you.

00:38:21.960 No, no, not really.

00:38:24.740 The masculine energy, the real substance of a man comes from that deep masculine energy,

00:38:29.980 the leadership, the ambition, the substance, the protection.

00:38:32.560 Yeah.

00:38:32.820 Yeah.

00:38:34.080 Yeah.

00:38:34.680 You know, those, those traits are extremely important.

00:38:38.560 Yeah.

00:38:39.420 Um, I saw a, I was a little confused on your stance on something.

00:38:44.940 Um, cause I saw two TikToks and I thought they kind of contradicted each other.

00:38:50.080 Um, there was one TikTok you had that was like, you were saying that body count doesn't matter.

00:38:57.820 And then you had another TikTok where a guy found out his girl's body count.

00:39:01.660 And then you said to break up with her.

00:39:04.700 Um, and I, I thought it was kind of funny.

00:39:06.640 So it was, it was, it was a funny video.

00:39:09.960 So I was telling him to break up with her because his retroactive jealousy was too strong.

00:39:15.360 Yeah.

00:39:15.720 And there's no way he's going to get over that.

00:39:18.220 Okay.

00:39:18.520 It created like a mental tattoo in his mind.

00:39:20.820 Right.

00:39:21.620 Um, now what I teach is keep your body count to yourself.

00:39:25.800 Don't talk about it.

00:39:27.240 No one wants to know about it.

00:39:28.760 It's gross.

00:39:29.580 Keep it yourself.

00:39:30.080 It's like what you do in the bathroom.

00:39:31.440 Keep it to yourself.

00:39:32.560 Honesty is not always the best policy.

00:39:35.000 Okay.

00:39:35.260 It is 99% of the time.

00:39:36.580 But in this case, what are you doing the bathroom for?

00:39:39.260 Who you slept with over the last 20 years.

00:39:42.280 I don't want to know about it.

00:39:43.280 Nobody wants to know about it.

00:39:44.820 If you start dating a guy and he says, how many guys you've been with?

00:39:47.740 Just say, I'm actually a virgin.

00:39:49.340 Okay.

00:39:49.640 And it's funnier if you have kids too, because it's obviously not true, but it makes it funnier.

00:39:53.460 So say something like that.

00:39:54.540 Just don't say a number.

00:39:55.820 No one wants to know about it.

00:39:56.900 It doesn't matter if it's five or 500.

00:39:58.940 It doesn't matter.

00:40:00.400 Don't tell anybody.

00:40:01.680 It's just unattractive.

00:40:03.980 Do you think it affects women's ability to bond at all though?

00:40:08.020 Or you, your experience is that?

00:40:09.580 Yeah.

00:40:09.700 A lot of people say that.

00:40:10.760 So, um, short answer.

00:40:12.660 No, not really.

00:40:13.960 If they have a great mindset.

00:40:15.460 The problem is I see a lot of women who have bad mindsets and then they, they've created 1.00

00:40:20.980 this statistic, which says, oh, well, they've been with a lot of people and they can't have

00:40:24.180 a 10 out of 10.

00:40:25.240 It's not how many people they've been with.

00:40:26.840 It's they have this terrible mindset, which goes along with this whole narrative.

00:40:31.300 So then they can't have a 10 out of 10 because their mindset's really bad, but it's not related

00:40:34.660 to the sex.

00:40:36.140 Yeah.

00:40:36.500 I would just think like the habit though, like if you're in a habit of sleeping with like five

00:40:41.140 different people a month or three different people a month, you don't think over time

00:40:45.420 they might miss that life, you know, it might be more difficult for them to stay with one

00:40:49.700 person.

00:40:51.680 Not from, not from what I've seen, because usually that happens, usually that habit's

00:40:56.500 built on, um, loneliness.

00:40:59.960 They want some sort of human connection usually.

00:41:04.620 So they might be looking for love and they're seeking validation through intimacy and they're

00:41:10.200 quite lonely people.

00:41:11.440 Right.

00:41:11.720 But as soon as they achieve a 10 out of 10, they're not lonely anymore.

00:41:15.700 So they, it sort of cures that.

00:41:18.100 Yeah.

00:41:18.580 The one issue you do have with those studies is they're self-reported and like, when are

00:41:22.540 women ever on? 1.00

00:41:24.700 I thought, I actually thought about it cause, um, I used to quote that study a lot.

00:41:29.860 And what I realized is that, um, the one thing the study probably actually showed is that the

00:41:35.500 women that lied about their body count are in happier relationships because who's going 1.00

00:41:40.380 to answer honestly on a survey, that question.

00:41:46.840 One of my favorite things from the sentence was, I think it was four out of five statistics

00:41:52.520 are made up anyway.

00:41:53.400 So, um, okay.

00:41:58.460 The body, the other clip I saw of yours that I really liked was, um, you told a woman that

00:42:03.900 she shouldn't be at the, it was like you and, um, your wife and you were like, you can go

00:42:10.700 to the club if you want to, when you're in a relationship, but that doesn't mean he has

00:42:14.620 to accept it.

00:42:15.680 And I just thought it was funny.

00:42:18.100 Do you know what I'm talking about?

00:42:20.420 Yeah.

00:42:21.060 Yeah.

00:42:21.640 A lot of people think some of my rules are quite controlling.

00:42:24.060 Like one of my rules, don't go out at night without your partner.

00:42:26.400 People are like, that's crazy.

00:42:27.660 It's so controlling.

00:42:28.640 Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

00:42:30.560 Go out with them.

00:42:32.220 Go out as a couple.

00:42:33.160 Like why, why do you want to go out by yourself anyway?

00:42:35.560 I don't get that.

00:42:36.340 And people, another thing people do is they go on these separate holidays, go on holidays

00:42:39.980 without one another.

00:42:41.660 What?

00:42:42.340 No, that's not what people 10 out of 10s do.

00:42:44.680 Go together.

00:42:45.900 You're a couple.

00:42:46.660 You should want to spend as much time as you can with that person you love, right?

00:42:49.940 So no, don't go out at night without your partner.

00:42:52.980 You can, but there's going to be consequences, obviously.

00:42:55.820 And a high value person is going to put up with that sort of shit for a long period of

00:42:59.060 time.

00:42:59.660 Yeah.

00:43:00.220 You know, it's funny.

00:43:01.020 I had a friend who worked in like a visa and like women with like husbands would go there 1.00

00:43:06.660 all the time and cheat on their husbands. 1.00

00:43:10.300 It's not, yeah, I don't know why they're, it's like really obvious sometimes.

00:43:14.680 Like what the girl's doing when she's like going to some of these like party cities without

00:43:19.160 the guy.

00:43:19.640 And I'm sure guys do it too.

00:43:21.400 Um, but yeah, I don't know what they're doing.

00:43:24.560 What do you think about like, um, business trips?

00:43:27.240 Do you think that's different or do you, do you have rules around that?

00:43:30.500 Um, yeah, so if your boss says, oh, you got to go to this place and do this sort of business

00:43:37.060 meeting or whatever, it's kind of out of your control.

00:43:40.120 But at the same time, there are a lot of jobs which make achieving a 10 out of 10 really

00:43:45.980 difficult.

00:43:46.460 Um, police officer, military, prison officer, those sort of jobs make achieving a 10 out

00:43:55.140 of 10 really, really, really challenging.

00:43:57.160 Um, and then just other jobs where you're just not home that much, you're away 50% of

00:44:01.000 the time.

00:44:01.440 That's going to make achieving a 10 out of 10 a lot harder as well.

00:44:04.320 I recommend if you really care about having a 10 out of 10, don't do a job which makes

00:44:10.060 it harder.

00:44:10.780 Do a job which makes it easier.

00:44:12.780 Okay.

00:44:13.420 Military, police, um, you said corrections officer.

00:44:17.940 Yep.

00:44:18.760 What, what else?

00:44:21.300 Um, and any job which you work away, like some people work on mining jobs or oil rigs

00:44:26.000 and stuff like this where they, you know, they're away for a couple of weeks and they're

00:44:29.260 back for a couple of weeks and they do that all the time.

00:44:32.840 Have you heard of like the trend with nurses?

00:44:36.100 All the guys tell me nurses are the worst to date.

00:44:39.440 Have you seen that?

00:44:40.440 I coach them for that.

00:44:41.240 Oh, really?

00:44:42.780 Okay.

00:44:43.300 So that hasn't been what you've seen.

00:44:44.720 Go ahead.

00:44:46.120 So I, a lot of nurses who come to me who are pretty hopeless at dating and they're in their

00:44:51.480 masculine energy.

00:44:52.420 They're full of a lot of fear.

00:44:53.580 They pick the wrong guys.

00:44:54.980 They pick guys.

00:44:55.620 They want to help.

00:44:57.200 Um, you know, it's interesting, actually.

00:44:59.700 One group of people who I've coached who are really bad at relationships, Sykes, Sykes. 1.00

00:45:06.020 Sorry, that's so true.

00:45:12.120 They really, they really suck.

00:45:14.620 They, uh, they're the hardest to get into a 10 out of 10.

00:45:17.740 The ones I've coached do achieve a 10 out of 10, but they take double the amount of time

00:45:21.380 as anyone else.

00:45:22.080 And I have to lecture them constantly how to do it properly and repetitively all the time.

00:45:28.120 They're painful.

00:45:29.320 Yeah.

00:45:29.780 Cause they have, you don't like the attachment styles, right?

00:45:33.220 That's what they're always.

00:45:34.040 It's because 90% of people use it as an excuse.

00:45:37.160 Oh, I'm an avoidant.

00:45:38.560 I don't get a hard conversation.

00:45:40.320 You're like, Hey, shut up and be an adult and have a conversation.

00:45:43.740 What are you talking about?

00:45:45.060 A lot of people have all these excuses these days for their poor behavior.

00:45:48.380 I can't stand it.

00:45:50.800 That's so funny.

00:45:51.700 You said the psychology thing because every, every girl I knew that was a psych major,

00:45:57.400 I can think of one who was not batshit crazy, but like nine out of 10 were nuts.

00:46:05.020 They are, they suck at relationships.

00:46:07.160 I can't believe that those people help other people in relationships.

00:46:11.160 I can't believe it.

00:46:12.620 They are the worst.

00:46:15.060 So what is your opinion on breaks in relationships?

00:46:19.380 No way.

00:46:20.400 Breaks are only for Kit Kats.

00:46:21.960 Okay.

00:46:24.920 I got a lot of, I got a lot of these funny sayings, but also breaks only for Kit Kats.

00:46:29.380 Space is only for astronauts.

00:46:30.640 Um, I got some others.

00:46:33.860 I can't remember, but all that is, is just all bullshit.

00:46:40.820 Yeah.

00:46:41.260 It's just an excuse to cheat.

00:46:43.240 That's what I think.

00:46:44.860 Do you agree?

00:46:45.300 It's an excuse to cheat or it's like a trial separation or there's all this bullshit.

00:46:51.840 People say, oh, it's not you.

00:46:53.720 It's me.

00:46:54.080 I want to find myself.

00:46:55.560 And it's all garbage stuff.

00:46:59.860 Don't put up with any of that.

00:47:01.280 Yeah.

00:47:01.480 Have you seen the phenomenon of women not being able to get over a particular ex?

00:47:08.640 Oh yeah, for sure.

00:47:09.860 All the time.

00:47:10.960 Yep.

00:47:11.780 And how do you help women get over that?

00:47:13.960 Do you find that they eventually do let it go?

00:47:16.960 They do with my help.

00:47:19.900 100%.

00:47:20.260 So it becomes a bit of an addiction in their mind.

00:47:24.380 So they'll be looking at his photos every day and all this sort of stuff.

00:47:28.380 It's like, if you're trying to quit smoking, you walk around with a packet of smokes in your pocket.

00:47:32.380 It's going to be pretty hard, right?

00:47:33.440 So what we do is we do a full clean out, delete every photo, block and delete every account, delete every number.

00:47:40.560 So it's like he never existed, right?

00:47:43.100 And then what we do is I make their life a lot busier, okay?

00:47:48.900 Social hobbies, exercise, two ice baths a week, going on new dates with new people, just really busy, lots and lots of stuff, right?

00:47:58.780 And then usually after about a month or two of doing that, they've totally forgotten about the ex.

00:48:05.940 And are you seeing the...

00:48:08.680 Because what I've found is a lot of women keep going back to the same ex, like in between relationships. 1.00

00:48:13.700 Is that something you've seen?

00:48:16.240 Yeah, it's like their plan B.

00:48:17.980 Yeah.

00:48:18.500 Yeah.

00:48:19.740 So one of the things I teach is no plan Bs.

00:48:21.960 You've got to delete every plan B, okay?

00:48:24.200 And completely delete and block.

00:48:26.040 You've got to burn the bridge, okay?

00:48:29.240 No plan Bs.

00:48:31.140 Yeah.

00:48:31.580 I liked another TikTok of yours.

00:48:33.640 You said that...

00:48:35.040 You said women don't like getting ghosted because they say, why don't men just tell me they don't like me?

00:48:45.940 And then you said, but he is telling you he doesn't like you.

00:48:50.200 That's right.

00:48:50.900 I just thought it was so funny.

00:48:53.480 Go ahead.

00:48:54.060 Give me your thoughts on ghosting.

00:48:56.040 Oh, yeah.

00:48:58.980 Yeah.

00:48:59.700 That's one problem actually a lot of women have in dating. 1.00

00:49:03.080 They hate being rejected.

00:49:05.080 Yeah.

00:49:05.280 They hate it.

00:49:06.880 It's like they've never been rejected once and they get rejected one time and they're like, that's it.

00:49:11.500 I'm done.

00:49:12.260 I quit.

00:49:13.500 It's like if you were going into dating, you're going to get rejected heaps.

00:49:16.380 But that's okay.

00:49:17.380 It's not about you.

00:49:18.320 Don't worry about it too much.

00:49:19.280 It's just not everyone's going to like you.

00:49:21.460 And you're looking for one very particular person.

00:49:23.560 So, of course, you're going to get rejected.

00:49:25.220 You're going to reject heaps of people too.

00:49:26.480 That's okay.

00:49:27.480 It's totally fine.

00:49:28.180 So, if a woman's starting dating again, what's like the ghost rate you would tell her to expect? 0.50

00:49:34.040 Like if you go, if you like five guys, if you go on a date with five or ten guys, how many are going to call you back?

00:49:40.220 So, if you're really good at dating and you show up on a date with lots of feminine energy, do lots of feminine communication, you're really light and bubbly and have really heaps of fun, and you go on five dates, you might get ghosted by one out of the five.

00:49:57.540 It's not that high.

00:49:58.860 It's only high if you suck.

00:50:02.300 Okay?

00:50:02.960 You're not doing any of the feminine energy stuff properly. 1.00

00:50:05.440 You're being bossy and you're just bitchy. 1.00

00:50:08.540 You're not very fun to be around.

00:50:10.220 Then you're going to get ghosted heaps, 100%.

00:50:12.340 If you're really fun and feminine, you know, it's pretty rare to get ghosted, to be honest.

00:50:17.620 Do you have any funny stories about like things that a client of yours has done on a date that were just like you couldn't believe they did them or maybe happened to them?

00:50:28.320 Oh, that's a good question.

00:50:32.240 Funny stories of dates.

00:50:35.560 You have to have so many because you've been doing this so long.

00:50:38.720 Yeah, yeah, yeah, there is some fun ones.

00:50:41.340 Actually, one girl went on a date with a guy, took her to a restaurant, and then he said, Oh, what do you want to order?

00:50:48.680 She told the waiter, and then the waiter looked at the guy, and he says, Oh, I just ate.

00:50:53.440 I'm not going to eat anything.

00:50:54.860 And the guy just sat there watching her eat the whole time on the date.

00:51:01.580 Ridiculous.

00:51:01.980 So he went on a date already having eight?

00:51:05.240 Why would you just do drinks then?

00:51:08.600 He's just a wanker guy.

00:51:10.700 There's a lot of guys who don't know how to date properly, and they're just hopeless.

00:51:14.340 Okay.

00:51:18.000 Makes for a pretty bad date, 100%.

00:51:20.280 Okay.

00:51:21.220 That's not too bad, though.

00:51:22.280 I was expecting worse.

00:51:24.900 No.

00:51:25.800 Yeah.

00:51:26.260 No, I don't really have any super crazy stories.

00:51:33.440 Or maybe I'm just, I've heard so many that I'm sort of numb to the craziness of it.

00:51:38.260 Yeah.

00:51:40.300 Yeah, nothing really, normal dates really aren't that crazy.

00:51:44.560 Yeah, it's usually just like the people don't have chemistry.

00:51:48.980 Yeah.

00:51:50.260 Yeah, pretty normal sort of stuff.

00:51:52.280 A lot of guys, a lot of guys lack a lot of confidence, so they won't make a move.

00:51:56.520 Girls complain to me every day that the guys don't make a move. 0.64

00:51:59.980 He didn't try to kiss me.

00:52:01.640 He's not making a move, trying to sleep with me.

00:52:04.260 He's really reserved.

00:52:06.480 So many guys are very shy.

00:52:07.820 They're not willing to make a move.

00:52:08.840 If you're a man listening to this, make a move.

00:52:11.140 Make a move.

00:52:11.840 If she says no, she says no, but at least make a move.

00:52:14.920 At least give it a shot.

00:52:15.800 Yeah, at least then you have your answer.

00:52:18.600 Oh, yeah.

00:52:19.040 Don't hold back.

00:52:20.060 On the first date, try to sleep with her 100%. 0.84

00:52:22.740 If she says no, go, okay, that's cool.

00:52:25.320 Like, at least try.

00:52:26.480 Yeah.

00:52:27.940 Every day, girls complain to me, God, he didn't make a move.

00:52:30.280 They want you to make moves.

00:52:31.760 They want you to make a move.

00:52:32.820 Just read her body language.

00:52:35.340 Yeah.

00:52:35.560 If she's smiling at you and, you know, flooding her eyelids, make a move.

00:52:39.680 She obviously likes you.

00:52:41.060 Yeah.

00:52:42.020 So what are the biggest complaints that women have after dates? 1.00

00:52:45.200 So that he doesn't make a move.

00:52:46.700 What else are they saying?

00:52:48.740 Yeah, he doesn't make a move or the conversation wasn't amazing.

00:52:54.300 So it was a little bit dry, not very charismatic.

00:52:58.340 What else?

00:53:00.460 That's usually it after the first date.

00:53:02.280 And then between the dates, a lot of guys are not very good communicators.

00:53:06.220 So going on dates is really important.

00:53:08.040 But what happens between the dates is really important too.

00:53:10.380 So between the dates, you want to have really good communication as well.

00:53:14.880 Do you ever tell your clients to slow down?

00:53:17.360 Like things are happening too fast?

00:53:20.340 Definitely.

00:53:21.040 So I have one technique that I call time over time, which means the first month of dating, you only can see them once a week.

00:53:28.060 Okay.

00:53:28.540 And that's to not get like overwhelmed.

00:53:34.120 Correct.

00:53:35.120 So the affection, how you feel about a person and what you know about them, I want them to go up at the same rate.

00:53:41.620 If you see someone once a month, what you know about them and how you feel about them will be like this, right?

00:53:47.780 So you know a lot, but you won't feel a lot.

00:53:49.840 If you see them every day, you'll feel a lot, but you won't know a lot.

00:53:52.880 I want them to go up at the same rate.

00:53:54.180 So time over time, once a week, just for the first month.

00:53:56.860 In the second month, you can increase.

00:53:58.460 How do you feel about, um, distance relationships?

00:54:02.300 That's something I've seen an increase in.

00:54:05.900 Yeah.

00:54:06.320 I get that question every day.

00:54:07.240 Long distance.

00:54:08.060 The first thing to think about is what long distance is.

00:54:10.880 A lot of people get confused by that.

00:54:12.220 They go, oh, he lives an hour away.

00:54:13.380 It's long distance.

00:54:14.140 It's not long distance.

00:54:15.380 Long distance is when they live so far away that you can't see them once a week.

00:54:19.660 Okay.

00:54:20.220 So for example, you might date a guy who owns a plane, right?

00:54:24.820 He can travel quite a long distance every week to see you.

00:54:27.600 So you could live in a different country and it's not long distance.

00:54:30.980 Or you might date a guy who doesn't have a car and has to walk everywhere.

00:54:35.860 Long distance is a few blocks away.

00:54:37.780 Okay.

00:54:38.440 So it's based on how often the guy can see you.

00:54:40.620 If you can see you once a week, it's not long distance.

00:54:43.120 So when I met my wife, she lived about four hours away. 0.95

00:54:46.060 Not long distance.

00:54:47.160 Happy to drive it.

00:54:48.160 If it was six hours, it'd be probably too far for me.

00:54:51.200 So four or five hours is about my limit for driving on a Friday night.

00:54:55.100 So you've got to think, okay, how far am I willing to go?

00:54:57.600 How did you guys do your first date?

00:55:00.840 Did you drive all the way out?

00:55:03.900 Yeah.

00:55:04.280 So actually on our first date, she drove from her town to my town.

00:55:09.760 And then when she got to my place, then I took her on a great date where I live.

00:55:13.700 Okay.

00:55:14.460 That was my first date and it went fantastic.

00:55:17.720 Yeah.

00:55:18.760 So that's pretty risky.

00:55:20.220 That's a long, it's a long ways to drive for a first date.

00:55:23.520 So it's good.

00:55:25.040 It's good.

00:55:25.640 It worked out.

00:55:26.340 Yeah.

00:55:26.640 But yeah.

00:55:28.340 So we knew it was special right from the start.

00:55:30.920 The conversation, the compatibility, everything in the conversation was so amazing.

00:55:35.380 So we talked for about two weeks before our first date, lots of conversations every day,

00:55:39.480 FaceTimes, phone calls, like the chemistry, compatibility, everything incredible.

00:55:43.340 So by the time the date happened, perfect.

00:55:47.000 So what is your thoughts on distance relationships though?

00:55:50.560 Like people in a different, where they can't see, they can see each other once a month or

00:55:54.300 every other week.

00:55:57.040 So every other week, every second week is the minimum.

00:56:02.420 If it's less than that, you're not going to be able to see each other enough to build

00:56:05.300 a foundation of a 10 out of 10.

00:56:07.160 And you're not going to see the progression enough to create the 10 out of 10 that I want

00:56:10.320 to see.

00:56:11.000 So you must be able to see each other at least every second week minimum.

00:56:15.820 Okay.

00:56:16.380 And have you seen that work or?

00:56:20.820 The every second week.

00:56:22.520 Yeah.

00:56:22.900 Like I'm just wondering the success rate.

00:56:24.780 Have you seen distance relationships work or do they generally just tank?

00:56:28.380 If it's less than once every second week, it doesn't work.

00:56:32.840 It's too, it's too.

00:56:34.420 Yeah.

00:56:34.840 It fades too fast.

00:56:37.480 Human beings need that face to face, the physical touch.

00:56:40.600 They need it.

00:56:41.260 I think there has to be an end date.

00:56:43.660 Like it has to be like one person's going to move.

00:56:47.020 Like there has to be like, yeah, like we do this for this long.

00:56:50.060 There's an end date.

00:56:52.220 Yep.

00:56:52.700 Definitely.

00:56:53.260 Which is six months.

00:56:54.640 Yeah.

00:56:55.140 Okay.

00:56:55.420 Yeah.

00:56:55.760 I would agree with that.

00:56:56.620 Cause past then it's, you're kind of wasting your time.

00:57:00.580 100%.

00:57:01.020 Some people waste years and it's just wasting years achieving nothing.

00:57:05.100 Yeah.

00:57:05.940 Um, you said you're a big believer that women can get whatever they want in relationships. 0.97

00:57:10.880 What did you mean by that?

00:57:14.120 Um, I think you're referring to feminine energy.

00:57:17.060 So if a woman's really using feminine energy really well, she can basically get whatever she 1.00

00:57:21.640 wants.

00:57:22.020 Those guys want to bend over backwards to make her happy because they like her so much 0.97

00:57:26.840 cause of the feminine energy. 1.00

00:57:29.360 So it's obviously still in terms of reality.

00:57:33.340 Yeah.

00:57:33.820 So if a woman, um, is in her masculine or is very masculinized, how, what practical, like

00:57:41.760 pragmatic day-to-day tips would you give her in order to fix that?

00:57:44.900 Um, so usually what I see when a woman's really in a masculine energy, she's hyper-independent.

00:57:50.540 She doesn't want to help from anybody.

00:57:52.180 She thinks she can do everything herself and she has, she has trouble trusting as well.

00:57:57.540 Okay.

00:57:58.120 So what I teach is, okay, start accepting help from people, start asking for help, even

00:58:02.060 if it's something small, opening a jar or whatever, right?

00:58:05.040 Something small and then thanking them for it and allowing people to help you and start

00:58:09.920 letting that happen.

00:58:11.020 Okay.

00:58:12.120 Mix that with some good self-care and feeling good about herself, maybe some affirmations

00:58:15.920 and stuff like that.

00:58:17.560 That's it.

00:58:18.120 That's it.

00:58:18.420 And then after a few months, really practice that feminine energy. 1.00

00:58:23.740 Affirmations, huh?

00:58:24.900 What kind of affirmations are you telling them to do?

00:58:28.820 So you've got to say the right words to yourself.

00:58:30.980 So most people say fairly negative affirmations, subconsciously to themselves.

00:58:35.860 Wake up every day.

00:58:36.760 I'm a loser.

00:58:38.020 I hate all men, whatever it is, right?

00:58:40.260 They're saying this negative sentence.

00:58:42.680 Obviously, it's going to have some negative consequence, right?

00:58:45.560 You have to change that identity, the way you think about the world, but you've got to

00:58:48.700 say the right words.

00:58:50.380 Yeah.

00:58:52.060 Some of those words are, I love how feminine I am, for example, right?

00:58:57.180 Or I believe human beings are good.

00:59:01.660 Human beings in general are very good, right?

00:59:03.900 So you've got to slowly change that sort of narrative you're telling to yourself.

00:59:10.760 Okay.

00:59:12.340 How long do you think is too long to wait for a ring?

00:59:15.860 So I teach 12 to 18 months.

00:59:19.920 If it's been, if you get to the three year mark and there's no ring, you're, you're in

00:59:25.900 that place where it's probably not going to happen.

00:59:28.040 Yeah.

00:59:28.760 Do you think that depends on the age?

00:59:31.360 I do have two brothers that did wait a very long time, but it's because they started dating

00:59:36.100 at like 21 and they didn't really want to have kids till their thirties.

00:59:42.080 Um, no, not really.

00:59:44.120 If you're an adult, it shouldn't matter too much about age.

00:59:47.040 Now there are a lot of cases where people get engaged 10 years later and it works out

00:59:51.160 fine.

00:59:51.720 That is, that is, that's, that does happen.

00:59:53.700 But just on average, usually you've got to keep it within those, within those couple

00:59:59.000 of years.

01:00:00.160 Um, but it can still become a 10 out of 10 and you can still have a great marriage if

01:00:04.900 you wait a long time.

01:00:05.760 It's just less likely.

01:00:07.680 Yeah.

01:00:08.000 And I'd, I'd imagine with like your clients, it's not, you can't really coach people to

01:00:14.880 wait 10 years, right?

01:00:17.000 That's, that's a long time.

01:00:18.480 It does work for some people, but you can't really, that's a, that's a pretty big risk.

01:00:23.900 Right.

01:00:25.340 I'm very results focused too.

01:00:26.980 I want to see pretty decent results fairly quickly.

01:00:31.020 You don't want to wait too long for results.

01:00:34.400 Yeah.

01:00:34.900 Oh, sorry about the chats.

01:00:41.800 I'm going to see if they have any questions for you.

01:00:44.220 So give me one second.

01:00:45.240 I'll pull up the super chats.

01:00:47.600 If there are any, let me see.

01:00:50.620 This wasn't really looking.

01:00:52.340 Do you have any questions for me?

01:00:53.980 I don't know how much you've seen of my stuff.

01:00:55.460 I know you're on TikTok.

01:00:58.700 I've seen heaps of your videos.

01:01:00.580 Oh, really?

01:01:00.900 Heaps of different, you've done, you've done heaps of interviews.

01:01:03.600 Okay.

01:01:03.820 I wasn't sure.

01:01:04.500 You've interviewed some huge people all around the world.

01:01:10.240 Well, now I've interviewed you too.

01:01:12.860 So you're right on the list.

01:01:15.860 Why do I not see it all over here?

01:01:19.420 But yeah.

01:01:19.940 Um, I think I was watching one of your interviews today where you're interviewing Grant.

01:01:23.920 Oh, sorry, sorry.

01:01:25.900 Um, I was, sorry.

01:01:27.540 Go ahead.

01:01:29.380 I was watching one of your interviews where you're interviewing Grant Cardone this morning, actually.

01:01:32.980 Okay.

01:01:33.260 Um, and heaps of other people.

01:01:37.680 Yeah, some of your interviews are absolutely fantastic.

01:01:40.680 Yeah, Grant's really nice.

01:01:42.300 He's a really nice guy.

01:01:44.220 Yeah.

01:01:45.840 Why is this not going?

01:01:49.420 Did you want to talk about your relationship life, Pearl?

01:01:53.880 I don't really know anything about your personal life.

01:01:56.160 Yeah, I have a boyfriend.

01:01:57.240 Um, I don't really talk too much about it publicly because, you know, kind of how it is.

01:02:02.840 Yeah, it's personal.

01:02:03.960 Yeah.

01:02:04.140 Yeah.

01:02:04.460 But he's good.

01:02:06.360 Um, I really, I really, when I switched from dating, dating guys that were a little bit older

01:02:12.100 than me, I just preferred that personally.

01:02:15.520 Like from like, like within, like before I dated guys like within five years.

01:02:20.800 And then when I switched to like 10 years older, it was just a lot better.

01:02:23.940 I think I'm, I think I'm eight years older than my wife.

01:02:28.740 Yeah.

01:02:29.020 I think, I think personally 10 years is the best like gap when you're in your twenties as

01:02:34.000 a woman.

01:02:34.920 That's what I, I tell my, yeah, go ahead.

01:02:37.060 Yeah.

01:02:38.280 In your twenties.

01:02:39.020 Definitely.

01:02:39.500 If you're in your forties, maybe not, but twenties.

01:02:41.800 Yeah.

01:02:42.540 Really?

01:02:42.880 What do you think as a woman, women in their forties, you would recommend they date? 1.00

01:02:47.620 So I, so men age faster than women.

01:02:52.760 Okay.

01:02:53.160 Right.

01:02:54.520 So if you're a four year old woman dating a 50 year old man, he might look 60, right?

01:02:59.980 For example, because men don't often look after themselves as much.

01:03:03.360 Right.

01:03:04.140 So as you get older, try to get a guy closer to your age.

01:03:08.260 So as you go older, his age will come down.

01:03:10.620 If that makes sense.

01:03:11.760 Really?

01:03:12.280 That's interesting.

01:03:13.640 Cause I would say the opposite.

01:03:15.380 Like, I think men's like skin elasticity is a lot better.

01:03:18.720 Like I think women get like wrinkles fast. 1.00

01:03:20.700 I mean, I know we get Botox now, but you can't like switch the hands, you know?

01:03:26.440 That's true.

01:03:27.340 That is true.

01:03:28.260 Yeah.

01:03:28.540 The, my wife is divorcing me because I want to buy a new oven for my ex who has two oldest 0.97

01:03:35.360 kids.

01:03:35.860 She can't stand it and is solidly against it.

01:03:38.000 I keep telling her my kids are my priority.

01:03:40.080 Okay.

01:03:40.960 I'm going to read this again, but slower.

01:03:42.480 So this guy's asking my kid, my wife is divorcing me because I want to buy a new oven for my

01:03:46.920 ex who has my two oldest kids.

01:03:49.640 So his ex-wife that has two kids, she can't stand it and is solidly against it.

01:03:54.380 The new wife, but I keep telling her my kids are my priority. 1.00

01:03:58.040 What's your advice?

01:04:00.420 Is this from Doug Pearl?

01:04:02.820 No, it's a runic crusader.

01:04:05.080 Okay.

01:04:06.300 Okay.

01:04:06.840 So, um, yeah, so this is probably the straw that broke the camel's back.

01:04:13.460 Okay.

01:04:14.400 So if the relationship was a 10 out of 10 and then you did something stupid like this, it

01:04:18.560 wouldn't really cause a divorce.

01:04:20.840 But if a divorce is happening because of that, it's probably a whole long line of stupid

01:04:26.220 things.

01:04:27.240 So human beings are very territorial, basically.

01:04:33.520 All right.

01:04:34.660 You can't really do anything nice to your ex unless your current girl is going to get angry

01:04:39.260 about it.

01:04:40.040 It's just how human beings work.

01:04:41.640 Okay.

01:04:43.060 And secondly, don't say your kids are priority.

01:04:46.960 That's stupid.

01:04:48.280 Okay.

01:04:48.780 I have kids.

01:04:49.740 I'm a great dad.

01:04:50.800 Don't say I put my kids first.

01:04:52.860 It's an ugly, ugly, ugly sentence.

01:04:55.080 Okay.

01:04:56.300 When you're in a relationship, the person you're in a relationship with wants to know

01:04:59.760 that you put them first.

01:05:01.420 Okay.

01:05:01.820 Doesn't mean to neglect your children, but don't say, oh yeah, my kid's a priority.

01:05:05.780 That's a very ugly, shitty sentence to say.

01:05:09.300 All right.

01:05:10.420 So in this case, whoever this guy is, heaps of mistakes, heaps of mistakes.

01:05:16.780 My question to him is, have you ever met a woman before?

01:05:19.980 Or is this the first time you met a woman or what's wrong with you? 0.84

01:05:22.580 Come on.

01:05:23.120 So many mistakes.

01:05:24.020 Stop doing that.

01:05:25.340 You think the oven was a big, a big deal for the, if his other kids get to use it?

01:05:33.440 I'm just curious.

01:05:36.600 I'm just wondering because I'm like, because I think if it's the ex-wife, it's like, he's

01:05:41.900 like paying for stuff for his kids, you know?

01:05:45.680 Can't like.

01:05:46.400 No.

01:05:47.080 Oh.

01:05:47.300 Yeah.

01:05:47.920 So it's not how she would see it.

01:05:51.560 She would say, well, why are you doing stuff for his ex?

01:05:54.680 He's saying, well, it's for the kids, but she doesn't see it like that.

01:05:58.100 Yeah.

01:05:58.520 And right.

01:05:59.680 So I have a couple of questions if you don't mind.

01:06:07.520 Oh, sure.

01:06:08.140 Do you mind?

01:06:08.980 Doug MPA is one of my, he's my co-host.

01:06:11.960 Yeah.

01:06:13.820 I was going to stay out of this one, but I had, I had to come on and speak up a little

01:06:18.260 bit.

01:06:18.540 So, uh, I have a couple of, uh, dating theories.

01:06:25.380 I want to run by you.

01:06:26.300 So one, I think that a man gets to know a woman in two ways, one to have sex with her 0.62

01:06:32.040 and then one to, for a relationship and a man cannot audit a woman for, for relationship

01:06:39.060 qualities until sex happens.

01:06:40.720 Do you agree?

01:06:42.160 Yes.

01:06:43.920 Okay.

01:06:45.400 Cause I used to tell, you know, I have a sister who's single and her friends and I'm like,

01:06:51.620 you can't, you think a guy is going to go.

01:06:55.380 When I get to know you for a relationship, if you haven't slept with them first, it doesn't

01:06:59.440 know that that's what, do you believe also if a man's going to sleep with you and leave,

01:07:05.540 he's going to do it no matter what.

01:07:07.320 So it doesn't matter if he waits six hours, six days or six weeks.

01:07:11.680 Right.

01:07:12.200 You're correct.

01:07:13.000 Yeah.

01:07:13.400 There you go.

01:07:14.240 Right.

01:07:15.120 And so, um, over here, we say no single mothers.

01:07:21.840 Don't sleep with them.

01:07:23.040 Don't date them.

01:07:23.900 Don't marry them. 0.99

01:07:24.600 If you're a man and I'm equal opportunity.

01:07:28.200 If you're a man with no children, don't date a woman with children. 1.00

01:07:32.120 And if you're a woman with children, don't date a man with children.

01:07:34.880 Do you agree or no?

01:07:37.740 Not quite.

01:07:38.900 So it's not so black and white.

01:07:40.200 So here's the statistics on it from my experience coaching lots of people.

01:07:43.940 So what I see is if, if, if you get a single dad, he can date a woman with or without kids

01:07:51.180 and it's okay.

01:07:52.440 And they have the ability to create a 10 out of 10, but if you flip it and you take a single

01:07:57.540 mom, she can't date a guy without kids and only can date a guy with kids for the opportunity 1.00

01:08:03.500 to create a 10 out of 10.

01:08:06.860 Okay.

01:08:07.600 That's based.

01:08:10.460 I told you, Doug MPA, that he's going to agree with a lot of our stuff.

01:08:16.100 Yeah.

01:08:16.780 We have some differences, but I told you.

01:08:19.220 Go ahead.

01:08:19.560 Um, uh, another thing is, um, uh, single mother thing.

01:08:25.200 And then, um, what, one of the most, I used to tell the guys, I used to mentor, you need

01:08:32.340 to set aside disposable time and resources to date.

01:08:35.840 Would you, would you say that to a man?

01:08:37.480 Right.

01:08:38.620 Oh, 100%.

01:08:39.700 Yeah.

01:08:39.920 You gotta have the time.

01:08:40.800 You gotta have the money.

01:08:41.520 You gotta be able to pay for dates.

01:08:42.680 Yeah.

01:08:42.860 But then the equal part is a woman has to be available to, for a man to date her. 0.97

01:08:53.020 Right.

01:08:54.260 Yeah.

01:08:55.320 So, because one of the things, you know, I live in a very career minded city right now and

01:09:01.440 I'll be on a date with these women who are professionals. 1.00

01:09:06.280 They, they go on their girls trips.

01:09:08.980 They have their sororities, all this crap in their lives.

01:09:11.660 And then they'll find a way, find some time to go on a date and they'll say, well, I'm

01:09:17.000 really busy, but I'll make time for the right person.

01:09:21.280 And you said that putting your children first is like an unattractive thing to say.

01:09:27.140 For me, that's a, that's just an unattractive thing to say to a man.

01:09:31.880 Like you're supposed to, you're supposed to have time to be found as a woman, right? 1.00

01:09:36.240 If you want a relationship, you should put the time aside to be found as a woman, right? 1.00

01:09:41.660 Yeah.

01:09:42.660 Yes.

01:09:43.600 A lot of women will choose career, Doug, because it has a bit more certainty for them. 0.98

01:09:47.940 So they'll go, well, if I work really hard, I know I can achieve these things in my career,

01:09:51.820 but I don't know how to achieve a 10 out of 10.

01:09:54.560 So I'm not going to put too much effort into it.

01:09:56.980 So I'm going to pretend and go, I'm too busy.

01:09:59.580 I'm not going to really look for a relationship, even though deep down they yearn for it.

01:10:03.900 Because you can also see that when a girl who's career driven, she meets the right guy.

01:10:09.460 Sometimes she gives up everything.

01:10:12.320 She quits the job, changes everything, moves states, do anything. 1.00

01:10:16.680 Well, over here, we say that modern women reserve the right to change their minds about anything 1.00

01:10:20.980 at any time.

01:10:22.380 You know, which is why, you know, I always tell Pearl that we're in the great experiment

01:10:26.800 where women want to get these degrees just to get them, or they want to get these jobs. 1.00

01:10:32.540 So the average male CEO's career is seven to eight years, almost 10 years.

01:10:38.220 The average female CEO is two to three years because they want to get to the chop and try it. 1.00

01:10:44.940 And then they say, oh, this is too tough.

01:10:47.000 I want out.

01:10:47.940 And a lot of them know that all of their accomplishments, if it gets too hard,

01:10:52.920 they can just try to find a man and have him take care of everything. 1.00

01:10:56.240 That's their idea in their head, at least.

01:10:59.620 It's a fun one.

01:11:01.560 Go ahead.

01:11:02.240 I'm sorry.

01:11:03.020 It's a fun thought.

01:11:06.240 Yeah.

01:11:06.720 And so, okay.

01:11:08.520 Would you say that anything that you're good at takes practice, even relationships?

01:11:15.260 Oh, 100%.

01:11:16.240 Yep.

01:11:17.140 So if there is a woman that has no, because in the area I'm in, I meet these career oriented

01:11:25.200 women who give all their best years to some high priced institution where they get some degree 1.00

01:11:32.200 that nobody cares about to get a job where they're not going to make any money, then they

01:11:36.240 go out into the workforce and they work for some job that they can care less about them.

01:11:41.100 So then they're in, I've met women in their early to mid thirties with no relationship experience, 0.98

01:11:46.940 none.

01:11:47.660 And they usually wake up around 33 to 35 and they're like, oh, I want to be in a relationship.

01:11:56.100 So what would you say to a man who's getting to know a woman and she says, oh, you say, what's your longest relationship?

01:12:06.980 And she says a year or less.

01:12:08.300 How would you advise that guy to navigate the situation with that woman who's had no relationship

01:12:14.980 experience?

01:12:15.640 And believe me, it's more common than you think.

01:12:17.640 Believe me.

01:12:19.160 The first thing I would say to that guy is why did you ask her about her past?

01:12:24.400 You don't ask people about their past ever.

01:12:26.500 You only get the answers you don't think.

01:12:28.320 Okay.

01:12:28.960 So the second thing is don't ask her about her past relationships.

01:12:33.300 Okay.

01:12:33.620 What's she like right now?

01:12:35.320 Yeah.

01:12:35.500 Can you take her on a date this week?

01:12:37.120 That's what I want to know.

01:12:38.940 But this girl, you can't ask her about her past relationships because she's never had any.

01:12:43.640 Good.

01:12:45.300 No experience, no bad lessons.

01:12:49.380 So a woman that has no relationship experience in her thirties is a good thing? 1.00

01:12:54.460 Would you rather a woman in her thirties with not much relationship experience or a woman in her thirties who's had 20 relationships?

01:13:01.900 Doug, you'd say 20, right?

01:13:05.620 Yeah, I just think that because I've been married and divorced and guys in the chat, if you've been married and divorced, put in the chat how tough it is when you get back out on the dating scene and you're talking to a girl who's never been in a relationship or has barely been in relationships and wants to be married.

01:13:27.860 And you hear her talk about marriage and how delusional she is with marriage.

01:13:32.480 It's like one of the worst things ever.

01:13:33.920 You're just like, you have no idea what you're talking about.

01:13:36.120 So I take a woman who was divorced over a woman who's never had a relationship experience.

01:13:44.280 Okay.

01:13:45.820 Because, you know, at least she knows how to, how to be in a household with a man, share bills, make compromises and stuff. 1.00

01:13:53.800 But I think that woman who's never had a relationship by the time she's 30 is a red flag. 1.00

01:13:59.240 It is, it is a strange amount of time to be single.

01:14:04.140 Yeah.

01:14:05.180 Okay.

01:14:05.580 And then would you say, so here in America, the student loan debt, 70% of the student loan debt is owned by women. 1.00

01:14:16.600 And I would tell them, so I think that a woman's financial decisions is a reflection of her decision-making process or lack thereof. 0.98

01:14:27.520 Would you agree?

01:14:30.260 I suppose to a certain degree, but.

01:14:33.560 So should a guy disqualify a woman based upon her, like if she has $150,000 in student loan debt or like $50,000 in credit card debt,

01:14:43.420 or is she upside down on her mortgage, is that something that a guy should take into consideration when dating a woman?

01:14:50.860 Or do you think that he could find the one and help her figure it all out?

01:14:55.440 The latter.

01:14:56.540 Yeah.

01:14:57.420 So.

01:14:58.100 Wait.

01:14:59.120 We're all human beings, right?

01:15:01.400 It's not everyone is a genius with finances.

01:15:05.280 A lot of people make a lot of bad decisions, not necessarily their fault.

01:15:08.220 A lot of women make bad decisions with finances. 1.00

01:15:11.800 I'm sorry.

01:15:12.540 Go ahead.

01:15:13.420 Just remember, Doug, they're, it's not they're bad people.

01:15:18.560 They were raised in education system by parents who didn't know that well.

01:15:22.720 They're okay.

01:15:23.380 They're good people.

01:15:24.120 They just made a few bad decisions, but it's out of ignorance.

01:15:27.140 It's not, they didn't know there was other options.

01:15:30.440 You know what I mean?

01:15:31.820 Yeah.

01:15:32.500 Everything you're saying, I agree with, but we're in the age where people want to make their problems your problem.

01:15:41.460 Because one of the best sayings my dad used to say to me was, everyone has problems, but you're making your problem my problem.

01:15:48.680 And that's the, that's a problem.

01:15:50.060 And so you just have to, I mean, everyone's got problems, but you just have to be aware as to what that person's bringing into your life.

01:15:58.460 Understand what I'm saying?

01:15:59.840 And like.

01:16:00.160 That is, I do teach, I don't find someone who doesn't have many problems, but that's usually not in regards to debt.

01:16:07.220 It's usually in regards to some people you meet have a whole long plethora of problems.

01:16:13.260 Depression, anxiety, and this and that, and this and that, and they have like 20 problems, right?

01:16:16.880 Avoid those people.

01:16:18.640 They ain't got too many problems.

01:16:19.960 Okay.

01:16:20.280 But yes, I try to avoid people with problems as much as you can.

01:16:26.340 But I also teach a woman's value isn't derived from finances or net worth. 0.97

01:16:32.260 Yeah, but like, I wouldn't really want to date a guy with a ton of debt, like, because it shows really poor decision making, you know, like vice versa.

01:16:44.600 Yeah, like even my, yeah, there's also a very large difference between a man and a woman, though.

01:16:51.240 Yeah, but I'm, people can date what they want.

01:16:56.120 So it's, it's not for me to say, but like, even my boyfriend, like he dumped his last girlfriend because she had a bunch of debt and he didn't want to deal with it.

01:17:05.340 No, he dumped her because he didn't like her.

01:17:08.240 Wait, so you think a guy can just like, like a woman past all of her faults?

01:17:16.960 Yes, to a certain degree.

01:17:18.760 Okay, so it's based on how much, it's based on attraction.

01:17:21.400 So if someone said, oh, you know, I dumped that person because their mother-in-law was bad.

01:17:25.040 No, you didn't.

01:17:26.600 You dumped that person because you didn't like them that much.

01:17:29.220 You didn't like the mother-in-law too, but that's not really the real reason.

01:17:32.000 It's how much you like that person.

01:17:33.660 If you really like someone and you have such good chemistry and compatibility and X-Fact and they can do the job and they're just great.

01:17:39.760 And you just think, I want to be with this person.

01:17:41.800 You're going to be with them.

01:17:43.100 Even if they got a little bit too much debt or they are smelly armpits.

01:17:50.100 I don't know, whatever.

01:17:51.080 You're going to like them regardless.

01:17:52.680 Yeah.

01:17:53.360 Regardless of that fact.

01:17:54.380 Guys, remember, this isn't a business decision.

01:17:57.100 This isn't like buying a business.

01:17:59.000 You're not going to be on a pros and cons list and going, well, is this a good decision for me?

01:18:03.100 Is this good for my future?

01:18:04.780 It's based on emotion.

01:18:05.940 Do you think it's, if a man and woman are getting into a serious situation, they've been dating for about, what's your timeline of when it should be considered serious?

01:18:19.880 What, like three months, six months or something like that?

01:18:22.000 I said six months move in.

01:18:23.160 I said six months move in.

01:18:23.680 Yeah, go ahead.

01:18:24.100 Okay.

01:18:24.400 Yeah.

01:18:24.640 I thought I heard that.

01:18:26.220 Yeah.

01:18:26.640 Six months move in.

01:18:27.440 But around the eight week mark, you're going to say, I love you and become official.

01:18:30.240 So do you think that both sides should, even if they don't share, I don't believe in the word partner.

01:18:36.620 I think that's one of the worst things to ever happen to the dating market.

01:18:40.220 And the reason why is because your partner's in business, right?

01:18:43.880 And business partners have a contract that clearly define the equity and the roles between partners, right?

01:18:54.000 And so you never really hear men say the word partner.

01:18:58.500 It's women. 1.00

01:18:59.280 They say the term partner.

01:19:01.360 You're in Australia.

01:19:02.620 So maybe everyone uses it down there.

01:19:04.300 I think they, in overseas, they use it more.

01:19:07.420 Go ahead.

01:19:07.780 Sorry.

01:19:08.000 And like, you know, I have to thank you for getting through another day in the feminist hole that is Australia. 1.00

01:19:15.860 Because let me tell you, you guys have it rough down there, man.

01:19:19.120 You have it rough.

01:19:20.220 But anyway, I don't like the word partner.

01:19:24.420 Well, women don't like the word partner because husband, wife, fiance, boyfriend, girlfriend have implied roles. 1.00

01:19:31.920 And I think that women don't really like anything with defined roles, defined values, anything like that. 1.00

01:19:39.100 Anyway, so let's say you're in boyfriend, girlfriend mode, right?

01:19:44.520 Even if you don't share with your significant other, do you think that the man should ask himself, okay, what am I going to get out of this relationship with this person?

01:19:52.820 And the woman should too? 0.94

01:19:53.980 Like, um, no, not really.

01:19:57.720 Not that, not that specific question.

01:19:59.640 Okay.

01:20:00.200 The question you ask yourself is, do I want to be with this person the rest of my life?

01:20:12.620 Doug, do you, do you have any?

01:20:15.360 Yeah.

01:20:15.760 Do you see the difference?

01:20:17.180 Sorry, you're just quiet, sorry.

01:20:18.640 No, I just, because like, okay.

01:20:23.480 I'll flip it for you, Doug.

01:20:25.020 So I assume you probably have a best friend, right?

01:20:27.440 A guy you've known for ages, you guys hang out, have lots of laughs, a best friend, right?

01:20:31.880 Yes.

01:20:32.780 When you're best friends with this guy, do you stop and go, what am I going to get out of this relationship?

01:20:37.760 Yeah, of course.

01:20:40.800 Of course.

01:20:42.060 Doug, that doesn't sound like a good friendship to me.

01:20:43.920 No, no, no, because here's the thing.

01:20:46.440 There are, there are givers and there are takers in this world.

01:20:51.560 And givers learn a hard lesson in, in, uh, in setting boundaries and not letting people take.

01:20:59.840 Giving people are the most powerful people on the planet because we accumulate resources and, uh, skills and, uh, education and all these things for the sake of others.

01:21:10.940 But there are people that will take advantage.

01:21:13.220 It's so you have to ask yourself, what am I getting out of this?

01:21:17.980 Or you will be taken advantage of it.

01:21:20.480 And that's the thing.

01:21:21.080 So like the, what's your, here's the thing.

01:21:24.400 I have a more, I have a more sort of stoic masculine approach to life to a certain degree.

01:21:29.600 How many people do you think take advantage of me?

01:21:34.840 You've been taking advantage of you.

01:21:36.660 You're a man.

01:21:38.580 The, the, there was some time in your life where you got to take advantage of it.

01:21:42.880 If you say she never had, the only people have taken advantage of me.

01:21:47.580 You're the ones I've allowed to, to happen.

01:21:49.820 At no point ever will I claim to be a victim or say that person took advantage of me.

01:21:55.920 I can't believe it.

01:21:57.500 I let it happen.

01:21:58.920 Whether it was right or wrong, whether it was good or bad, it doesn't matter.

01:22:01.740 I think, Doug, you're just saying that's, that's why you have to ask the question.

01:22:05.340 And sometimes you have to ask the question and do the audit because if you don't ask the question, you, you're not going to be able to take the next step of what you're talking about.

01:22:14.820 The, the days of, because I just don't think that, that, um, anyone you have to know.

01:22:23.380 Okay.

01:22:24.180 If you're giving your time and your resources to society, to a job, to, to a woman, you have to know what you're getting out of it. 0.99

01:22:31.980 You can not even expect a lot, but you should be getting something.

01:22:35.020 I understand what I'm saying.

01:22:36.520 What should you get from a wife? 1.00

01:22:38.620 Do you think, um, respect, dignity, a family, um, you know, she should be your support system because when men win, everyone wins. 0.65

01:22:50.560 When women win, they win for themselves. 1.00

01:22:53.360 A hundred.

01:22:54.320 Well, yes.

01:22:56.380 A lot of listeners like that sentence, Doug, but you're technically correct.

01:23:00.920 Respect's a very funny thing.

01:23:02.960 Yeah.

01:23:03.260 It's, it's a very interesting thing.

01:23:05.020 What I'm saying in a 10 out of 10 relationship, you don't ask yourself that question because it's already there.

01:23:10.740 Yeah.

01:23:11.640 It's like, it's like if you sit down to a big table of food and you go, what am I going to eat?

01:23:16.400 It's already right in front of you.

01:23:17.620 You don't need to ask the question.

01:23:18.920 It's the same in that relationship.

01:23:20.020 I don't need to ask what my wife brings to the table because all that, everything you just said is already there.

01:23:24.540 I don't ask myself the question because I can see it.

01:23:26.400 Do you believe if it stops being there?

01:23:29.420 Like, do you believe in divorce in some cases?

01:23:32.020 So, if something happened and those things stopped happening, I would say to myself, well, what's happening here?

01:23:39.780 What can I do to fix this situation?

01:23:41.560 Remedy it.

01:23:42.140 Talk about it.

01:23:43.140 Something, something's going to happen, right?

01:23:44.740 But I also teach people, don't live in a hellish situation for your whole life.

01:23:52.660 So, yes, I technically believe in divorce.

01:23:54.880 It'd be a perfect world if it didn't exist, but don't live in a shitty situation for 10 years just because you want to keep your vows strong.

01:24:02.720 If you're in hell, get out of it.

01:24:05.900 Yeah.

01:24:06.540 I'm going to read a super chat really quick.

01:24:08.460 It's not apples to apples.

01:24:10.020 20 relations at 30 can be a red flag because she's obviously having issues locking a man down. 1.00

01:24:14.740 Whereas your relationships could be a red flag or not, depending on her, if she's a trad farm ex.

01:24:21.100 Guys, if a girl hasn't had relationships by 30, I don't know where you're meeting these trad farm girls. 1.00

01:24:28.980 I don't really see them existing too much.

01:24:31.880 But if you find one, let me know.

01:24:37.300 Doug MPA, you got any other questions for him?

01:24:40.520 Um, and then I guess I can say, um, what if, okay, if you see behavior, if you're getting to the six month mark, right?

01:24:55.320 And you start to see behaviors that you're, you're kind of not liking, right?

01:25:02.240 Because especially when you live with somebody, you know, it's not really the small aspect of living with the large things.

01:25:09.300 It's the small things over time.

01:25:11.060 I understand what I'm saying.

01:25:11.620 Do you, how long should a man, let's say the woman is doing something to like annoy him or something, and he wants to correct her behavior. 0.73

01:25:22.580 Like how long would you give the guy or the woman to, let's say the guy leaves his dirty drawers, you know, underwear in the kitchen sink or something like that.

01:25:31.220 Like how long should each person give the, let's say if they want to have the conversation and say, Hey, I want you to change this.

01:25:39.000 How long should they give the person to change?

01:25:42.680 So great question, Doug.

01:25:45.960 Very funny.

01:25:46.780 Um, I teach a bit of a hierarchy with communication.

01:25:49.480 So you've got small boundaries, medium boundaries and hard boundaries.

01:25:52.720 Okay.

01:25:53.040 So in that particular case of the dirty undies, you'd probably do a medium boundary and the medium boundary is about five seconds, just using words.

01:26:02.420 I don't like that.

01:26:03.260 I do that.

01:26:04.020 That's it.

01:26:05.040 And from that point, moving forward, that shouldn't happen.

01:26:08.780 That's then that's it.

01:26:10.220 Like it's, that's not really a big thing.

01:26:12.500 If, if it's a more complicated, convoluted sort of issue, you might need to have a hard conversation where you sit down together.

01:26:18.320 But if you have two people who agree that you're never going to argue and who are great communicators and you have a decent level of attraction in the relationship, you can get over basically any issue.

01:26:29.300 And if she or he doesn't change, like if they keep doing it, um, do you suggest they end the relationship or keep?

01:26:38.300 So we end still like down the hierarchy.

01:26:40.720 So we start with small boundaries, then medium boundaries, hard conversations, then hard boundaries.

01:26:46.040 If we do the whole list and there's still being a goose, then we get out of there.

01:26:51.780 Okay.

01:26:54.040 And then I guess my last question would be, um, you said you should move in within six months, right?

01:27:03.860 And then get married when?

01:27:06.900 Usually.

01:27:07.860 So you get engaged around the 12 month to 18 month mark.

01:27:10.960 And then the perfect, what I see, the perfect length of engagement is usually about six months, nine months, somewhere around there.

01:27:18.200 Okay.

01:27:18.880 Um, big wedding, small wedding.

01:27:23.900 Do you believe in that thing where, cause they say that the smaller the wedding, the more likely it is that your relationship is going to last.

01:27:30.820 Would you, yeah, I don't know, I don't know where they're getting these statistics, but it's very funny.

01:27:34.520 I've seen another one that says the more expensive a ring is, the more chance of failure or something.

01:27:40.700 I don't know where they're getting these statistics.

01:27:42.000 I don't know if they're true.

01:27:43.480 Um, I had a medium-ish wedding.

01:27:46.340 If I could do it again, I'd make it even bigger.

01:27:48.260 Best day of my life.

01:27:49.260 Incredible.

01:27:49.760 So much fun.

01:27:51.020 Amazing.

01:27:51.440 Right.

01:27:51.640 Um, some people elope.

01:27:54.760 What I see eloping is, eloping's got that energy to me.

01:27:58.820 Like you see a teenager.

01:28:00.380 I'm not going to have a party.

01:28:01.500 No one likes me anyway.

01:28:02.820 I'm just going to sit in my room by myself.

01:28:04.940 It's got that energy.

01:28:05.900 It's really, come on.

01:28:07.560 It's really sad sort of energy.

01:28:09.660 I think I have a massive wedding.

01:28:11.200 I think bigger the better.

01:28:12.400 I think act like you're, it's one thing that you're going to do once in your life.

01:28:17.140 Give it a huge amount of energy.

01:28:19.920 Um, I spent a fair bit on my wedding.

01:28:22.400 I would have doubled it.

01:28:24.080 I don't know what on, but bigger the better.

01:28:27.500 I think best day of my life.

01:28:30.600 Okay.

01:28:31.740 Cool.

01:28:32.560 And then, um, just for what advice, what is the difference in advice that you give for

01:28:39.640 people that are looking for a relationship and have never been married to the ones who

01:28:45.860 are divorced and getting back into the dating market?

01:28:49.920 Basically exactly the same, brother.

01:28:51.520 Yeah.

01:28:51.740 It's not, it's not too much difference actually.

01:28:53.480 So whether I'm coaching someone who's never been married or who is divorced, I coach a

01:28:57.300 lot of people who've been divorced.

01:28:58.940 Still the same high value dates, have fun.

01:29:02.680 Don't settle for people who, you know, it's no good and just get out there and be persevering

01:29:08.300 and have a good time.

01:29:09.040 The more fun you have in the dating, the better chance of success you're going to have faster.

01:29:13.200 Okay.

01:29:15.200 And then the last thing I, I say ghost, all these women, man, you know, uh, I'm all about 1.00

01:29:24.600 ghosting.

01:29:25.080 I think, cause one thing I think that men, we have to learn to get rejected early.

01:29:31.580 We have to face the fact that we're told that we're not fast enough.

01:29:35.500 We're not tall enough and stuff, but it isn't until they're a woman's in her twenties or 0.95

01:29:39.780 thirties that she starts getting rejected.

01:29:42.040 And this guys, I just always say women, they feel entitled to your money, your resources, 1.00

01:29:50.180 your time and closure.

01:29:52.860 Don't give them any of it, especially closure.

01:29:56.440 Like I don't see guys expecting closure in the dating market, but why do women expect 1.00

01:30:02.120 closure?

01:30:04.200 Why?

01:30:04.540 Cause they've probably never been rejected a lot.

01:30:07.000 Um, one thing I teach Doug is closure is something you give yourself.

01:30:11.920 So if someone goes to you, then take a second and go, okay, they're not my ideal partner.

01:30:16.580 I'm not theirs. 0.94

01:30:17.680 It's okay.

01:30:18.120 I'm going to move on.

01:30:18.860 Give yourself that closure.

01:30:20.180 Yeah.

01:30:20.720 But Doug overall, brother, you seem pretty harsh on women.

01:30:24.020 Oh, Oh, we're harsh on women here. 1.00

01:30:28.760 Yeah.

01:30:29.220 Yeah.

01:30:29.400 You know, it's just, you know, when you have, uh, where's the, where's the love?

01:30:33.920 Where's the love goes?

01:30:35.680 Um, you're here's the thing.

01:30:41.320 The rhetoric of women nowadays and how women act like he's a thing. 0.94

01:30:45.160 Um, and I honestly believe this, the modern woman playbook is they want to find a successful, 1.00

01:30:52.440 ambitious man.

01:30:55.220 They want to date him, marry him, then have him set his, what made him the man he is aside

01:31:04.740 to help her achieve her selfish desires.

01:31:07.640 That's why so many of my friends who've been married and divorced, one of the most common 0.73

01:31:11.880 traps that they get caught in is the man's money is the house money and the wife's money

01:31:17.260 is her money because she wants to maintain her. 1.00

01:31:21.640 I want to be in a relationship.

01:31:22.860 I want to be married, but I don't want to lose my independence.

01:31:26.080 I meet women out here. 1.00

01:31:27.540 So about 50% of the women I meet, I say, Hey, um, if you get married, would you change 0.97

01:31:33.380 your last name?

01:31:34.100 And they say, no, I'm like, what?

01:31:36.700 It's just the selfishness of women. 1.00

01:31:39.420 So I'd say maybe, cause I honestly believe that maybe 20 to 30% of men are, are in a position

01:31:46.060 to date seriously, to put themselves in a position to, to have, to, to have a family and stuff

01:31:51.920 like that.

01:31:52.440 But then I would say it's maybe less than that for women. 1.00

01:31:55.380 Like the marriageable women that will support a man and knows that if, if she supports his 1.00

01:32:01.220 dreams, she wins. 0.78

01:32:02.520 And they're just so few and far between.

01:32:05.740 So it's like, I'm just responding to the reality around me, you know?

01:32:10.860 And here's the thing, men, we've only had our voice for the past, well, since 2015, but

01:32:17.700 we're responding to 40 years of unfiltered misandry on the other side.

01:32:25.040 Like, I'm just one of those people where I think you might be the type that still hold

01:32:29.120 men to a higher standard.

01:32:31.180 Uh, I don't do that anymore.

01:32:33.700 Women want equality. 1.00

01:32:36.200 Let them have it.

01:32:37.180 You know, women have been, I can tell you everything that men don't like, that women don't like

01:32:42.320 about men.

01:32:42.820 Because we've heard it for the past 50 years.

01:32:45.160 Now you're hearing men talk about what they don't like about women.

01:32:48.640 But a lot of people that they can't handle it.

01:32:50.680 I'm not saying anything that modern women don't say about men, but men, we are, we have the

01:32:56.280 right to say what's on our minds and our standards.

01:33:01.140 But we, we tried taking the higher moral ground.

01:33:05.060 We tried doing the right thing, but women call that patriarchy and misandry. 1.00

01:33:10.460 See, the dating market, men were perfectly fine with walking up to, um, the house and

01:33:18.340 knocking on a woman's door and asking her father if he can take her out on a date.

01:33:23.260 Men were perfectly fine with waiting for sex until marriage.

01:33:27.080 But women changed all those standards. 1.00

01:33:30.440 One of the best things I've ever heard is women changed all the social rules when it 1.00

01:33:36.260 comes to intersectional dynamics between men and women in the 20th century.

01:33:39.660 And the 21st century is men responding to it.

01:33:43.120 So a lot of women and a lot of, and some men don't like the way that men are responding

01:33:49.620 to it, but too bad.

01:33:51.800 So I'm just a realist.

01:33:53.360 And if you think about it, I'm not saying anything.

01:33:56.280 I'm not saying anything that isn't equal on the other side.

01:33:59.560 I just, I just think that dating, it's all fair and love and war and women just want 1.00

01:34:04.720 it to be fair and it's not fair.

01:34:06.540 And one last thing I'll say is things are never going to be fair for men ever.

01:34:13.420 We don't, we don't expect it to be all this equality movement for women is doing. 0.53

01:34:19.120 They're advocating for life to be as unfair for them as it is for men.

01:34:23.540 That's what equality is.

01:34:25.700 Life sucks as a man.

01:34:27.920 If you can make it not suck, get yourself a highly valued skill, highly valued trade,

01:34:33.300 highly valued education, your life will be better.

01:34:36.340 Women are putting themselves in a position to have to do the same thing. 1.00

01:34:40.540 So let them have it.

01:34:41.540 Doug, I love your energy, brother.

01:34:46.220 So much energy.

01:34:47.380 So much passion.

01:34:48.680 I'm done.

01:34:49.760 Okay.

01:34:50.820 I actually wanted to, unless you have a response to that, I have my, I have my last question.

01:34:58.520 Oh, Doug said a lot there.

01:35:01.980 Um, one thing that I see, so I coach a lot of women who put career first and all this 0.95

01:35:06.980 sort of stuff and they are sort of hyper independent.

01:35:10.100 The one thing I want you guys to remember, it stems from fear.

01:35:13.940 It doesn't stem that they're bad people.

01:35:16.260 Okay.

01:35:16.680 That's what I want you to remember.

01:35:17.500 It's stemming from fear.

01:35:18.400 They're, they're, they're, they're scared to trust a man.

01:35:21.120 They've been taught by their mothers or whoever that, you know, you know, you got to do it

01:35:26.360 yourself.

01:35:26.800 You got to be self-reliant.

01:35:28.060 You got to be independent.

01:35:28.960 Like they're taught this from a younger age, they're not bad people, stemming from fear.

01:35:34.120 Yeah.

01:35:35.000 Okay.

01:35:36.480 Cool.

01:35:37.300 Um, so I do this thing on my show where I get guys to dump me.

01:35:43.240 Um, so I want to, I want to role play where you have to say how you would dump me.

01:35:49.560 I know how Doug would do it.

01:35:50.920 He would ghost you.

01:35:52.220 Oh yeah.

01:35:53.160 Yeah, boy.

01:35:54.360 I had, we had a, we had a, we had a, we had a, I don't mind ghosting.

01:35:57.540 Yeah.

01:35:57.680 So you would just ghost.

01:36:01.220 Well, it depends.

01:36:02.060 So I think ghosting is okay in the first, maybe two dates after that.

01:36:06.460 It's a little nasty, like say something, um, first date it's okay.

01:36:12.040 But some people date someone for three months, then ghost.

01:36:15.160 It's like, Oh, it's a little bit.

01:36:18.120 You got, you got him on the line.

01:36:22.440 Sorry.

01:36:22.840 You got him on the line who does it good.

01:36:27.220 I love it.

01:36:28.660 No, so just, just, you gotta be honest.

01:36:31.080 Okay.

01:36:31.340 Yeah.

01:36:31.580 So let's say, let's say, can you do a, can you do a breakup scenario with Pearl?

01:36:37.040 Yeah.

01:36:37.620 So let's say you're dumping me because I just never give you your space or your alone time.

01:36:43.520 And I'm always nagging you about your hobbies.

01:36:45.460 Okay.

01:36:48.500 Well, one of the things I teach guys is space is only for astronauts, not for relationships.

01:36:54.820 So I wouldn't usually complain about that.

01:36:57.400 Um, but what I would say, for example, if I did want to break up with someone anyway, just go, look, I just don't think we're getting along that well.

01:37:02.780 We don't, I don't think there's any longevity here.

01:37:06.040 I think let's cut it now so you can go out there and find your ideal partner and get out there and let's just go separate ways.

01:37:11.780 No, but is there, is there something I can do to make it work?

01:37:15.940 No.

01:37:18.940 It's my favorite part of the show.

01:37:20.720 Nothing at all.

01:37:21.420 Well, what did I do?

01:37:22.380 Why?

01:37:23.280 What did I do?

01:37:24.220 Why?

01:37:26.020 Just two puzzle pieces, which don't fit very well.

01:37:29.200 That's amazing.

01:37:31.400 Okay.

01:37:31.800 I'm going to borrow that and say that's actually pretty good.

01:37:35.560 So that's, that's one of the things that I teach with finding your ideal partner guys.

01:37:38.640 Finding your ideal partner is a very particular person, right?

01:37:42.000 Puzzle pieces, which fit together.

01:37:43.580 You're going to meet people who seem pretty good, but the puzzle pieces don't quite fit.

01:37:48.040 They're not bad.

01:37:48.960 They're just not quite your person.

01:37:51.060 That's all.

01:37:52.480 Doug, MPO, where do you rate that breakup from all the breakups we've had on our show?

01:37:56.840 I mean, that was actually pretty good because he went straight to the point.

01:38:02.800 It's pretty good.

01:38:03.360 The puzzle pieces thing was actually pretty good.

01:38:05.940 I'm writing that down right now as we speak.

01:38:10.040 Well, yeah.

01:38:10.960 Now you don't have to ghost as much.

01:38:12.720 You can use that.

01:38:13.520 Doug, MPO got put on.

01:38:19.680 Are we dating the same guy?

01:38:22.020 Yeah.

01:38:22.880 Yeah.

01:38:23.900 For ghosting a woman.

01:38:25.240 Yeah.

01:38:25.480 Anyone who's listening to this, don't be on those toxic Facebook groups that we're dating the same guy.

01:38:31.380 Don't do it.

01:38:32.620 You know, bad times.

01:38:33.920 Don't use them.

01:38:34.580 They're really bad.

01:38:35.400 Yeah.

01:38:35.700 Doug, Doug, MPO is on there.

01:38:39.760 I was, but she said that she took it down.

01:38:42.820 He ghosted a girl.

01:38:44.320 She took it down.

01:38:46.260 And the date went really, really well, too.

01:38:50.720 The post even said, yeah, you know, the date went really well, but he goes to be any tea.

01:38:57.420 So you can have a good date with it.

01:38:59.260 It was a really good date.

01:39:00.300 And I still got put in one of those.

01:39:03.020 Wait, tell it.

01:39:03.860 Again, based on fear.

01:39:05.500 Yeah.

01:39:05.800 She had that fear in her heart.

01:39:07.200 So then she's going to start self-sabotaging. 1.00

01:39:09.620 Wait, tell him why you ghosted her.

01:39:11.980 And I want to see what he thinks.

01:39:14.140 So first off, I'm very punctual.

01:39:18.620 Right, Pearl?

01:39:20.720 I'm always getting on Pearl.

01:39:22.880 We do content strategy calls and all this stuff, you know, and she's late all the time.

01:39:28.740 Okay, you don't call me at the same time every day.

01:39:32.300 What's that?

01:39:33.160 No, go ahead, go ahead.

01:39:34.680 Oh, anyway.

01:39:35.520 So, um, and, uh, so she was late and then she grew up in some really super religious, uh, household that was borderline a cult.

01:39:48.820 So she's telling me about this religious cult that she was in and I'm just like, oh, okay.

01:39:54.400 And then she was bisexual. 0.91

01:39:59.960 Yeah, red flag.

01:40:01.240 Huge red flag, yeah.

01:40:02.300 So she's late, she's bisexual, and she grew up in, like, this religious cult. 0.99

01:40:08.420 And I'm just like, bro, what?

01:40:12.280 No.

01:40:12.780 And so I just, and then I had a lot going on and I just, I don't know, I just, I don't, well, women have told men for years, we don't owe you our time, our bodies, any of that.

01:40:25.520 And I agree.

01:40:26.940 But then also men, we don't owe women anything either.

01:40:31.400 We don't owe them closure or anything.

01:40:32.840 But a lot of women think that we, you know, you asked me on a date, so you owe me closure.

01:40:37.580 You have to tell me why.

01:40:38.700 No.

01:40:39.800 But if you don't, you'll get put in one of those Facebook groups.

01:40:42.120 But you, but yeah, but you thought the red, the red, you agreed with his assessment of that it was a red flag. 0.94

01:40:48.840 Yeah, the bisexual thing is a pretty big red flag. 1.00

01:40:51.360 Yeah.

01:40:51.660 I agree, but how so, why would you say that's a, because it is a red flag, but what is your idea as to why it's a red flag?

01:41:00.740 I think it shows, I think human beings are funny.

01:41:03.980 I think we want to think that our partner thinks we are the most attractive person in the world and they're not attracted to anybody else.

01:41:10.680 We like to have that thought.

01:41:12.380 Bisexual says the opposite. 0.97

01:41:16.300 Yeah, I agree.

01:41:17.620 Yeah.

01:41:18.400 I told you, you'd agree with a good amount of what he says.

01:41:20.740 I know, man.

01:41:21.960 I'm going to have to follow you, man.

01:41:23.320 Good job.

01:41:23.880 I told you.

01:41:25.540 He's not like the, Doug MPA heard female dating coach.

01:41:29.660 We're a little biased against him sometimes.

01:41:32.780 I live in the real world, guys.

01:41:35.020 I want to see everyone achieve a 10 out of 10.

01:41:37.080 Doug, I do hear a lot of stuff you say, but I want to see you in a 10 out of 10.

01:41:41.920 I want to see you in love.

01:41:43.400 Yeah.

01:41:43.820 Disney love.

01:41:44.480 Uh, so my first marriage, I can tell you the biggest problem with that was that I tried to love this person unconditionally.

01:41:54.940 Right.

01:41:55.420 And there's no sense thing.

01:41:57.260 I think maybe you can love a child unconditionally, but someone that isn't blood related to you, you can't do that.

01:42:03.160 So how I approach it now is, and we can thank the late, great St. Kevin Samuels for this.

01:42:10.580 Respect comes first.

01:42:12.900 You earn and keep each other's respect above all else because respect is harder to get back than love.

01:42:19.200 Right.

01:42:19.420 You probably.

01:42:20.680 How do you get respect, Doug?

01:42:23.200 Oh, yeah.

01:42:23.820 It comes over time through integrity.

01:42:27.900 Your words have to equal your actions.

01:42:30.300 You don't.

01:42:31.400 Respect is earned.

01:42:33.340 So you have to go through earning some respect.

01:42:36.040 Respect is a very, it's a very interesting subject, respect.

01:42:38.960 It's kind of confusing.

01:42:40.580 Um, some people get respect very easily.

01:42:43.920 Some people have to work really hard for respect.

01:42:46.440 Some people give respect and get nothing back.

01:42:48.880 Some people give nothing and get a huge amount of respect.

01:42:51.120 It's a very complicated issue.

01:42:52.820 I get a lot of respect, but it's very confusing.

01:42:56.200 It's, it's a, it's a, it's quite, it's quite complicated.

01:43:00.440 Well, I can say once again, if you get, um, if you get so much respect, particularly your significant other, you got to keep it at all costs.

01:43:10.120 Because odds are, Jake, there are people in your life, family members, friends who you say that you love, but you can't have them in your life anymore.

01:43:18.660 Why?

01:43:19.240 Because they lost your respect.

01:43:21.140 Right?

01:43:21.400 It's easier to give love back than respect.

01:43:24.540 So I think that that's number one.

01:43:26.300 Number two is utility.

01:43:28.760 You should, there should be a utility to you being good together.

01:43:32.260 There's no reason why you should be in what you call a 10 out of 10 relationship and the man or the woman should be suffering from anything that a single person suffers from.

01:43:41.720 I.e. I have a friend, right?

01:43:44.000 Whose husband won't drop her off at the airport before 9 a.m. and won't pick her up after 9 p.m. 0.85

01:43:52.880 That's a very weird rule.

01:43:54.500 I'm like, what?

01:43:55.480 So what?

01:43:56.760 That's what a single, a single person would have to find a ride to the, and when she goes out on work trips, she has to leave the house at like five o'clock in the morning. 0.99

01:44:04.440 So he doesn't get out of bed.

01:44:05.680 And his wife has to take an Uber to the airport, right? 0.97

01:44:10.120 It's like, what's going on here?

01:44:11.880 Yeah, he's a bit of a jerk.

01:44:13.080 Yeah.

01:44:13.240 Yeah.

01:44:13.580 And so I think that, or a utility would be building that life and having your hobbies together.

01:44:20.540 All these different things were, because respect and utility are those things where if you get in a fight and you, you, you kind of walk away from each other to different sides of the house.

01:44:29.400 You can kind of look around and audit your life and be like, all right, I respect this person.

01:44:32.920 We have a good thing going here.

01:44:34.120 Let me go apologize.

01:44:35.040 And then love is after that.

01:44:37.360 Whereas my first time, I just tried to love the person through everything and you never want to do that.

01:44:43.520 No, you're right.

01:44:44.740 Yeah.

01:44:45.300 That, that, that's a good order.

01:44:46.900 That's pretty good, Doug.

01:44:47.940 Yeah.

01:44:48.960 So then what was this about Disney love again?

01:44:51.180 What was that?

01:44:53.080 I want you to achieve it.

01:44:55.020 Even, even though you got great rules.

01:44:56.840 I've got a lot of rules too.

01:44:57.740 They're fantastic, right?

01:44:58.940 I want you to achieve it.

01:45:00.040 How many dates should, how many dates should Doug be going on a week one?

01:45:05.040 One, if you can, if you can take one great girl out a week, fantastic.

01:45:09.000 Doug, how old are you brother?

01:45:10.800 Um, I'm mid forties.

01:45:13.420 Okay.

01:45:13.720 So probably, yeah.

01:45:16.320 What age are you going for?

01:45:19.180 Um, so like 28 to, I'd say 28 to 35.

01:45:27.000 Okay.

01:45:27.440 It doesn't matter too much about the age.

01:45:30.320 If you can go on one great date a week, like a proper date, have a great time.

01:45:35.000 You should be able to achieve a 10 out of 10 this year.

01:45:36.960 Find a girl who you want to spend the next 50 years with. 0.98

01:45:39.560 Yeah.

01:45:40.880 Just, I want you to remember one thing.

01:45:44.000 I want you to remember one thing going on dates with these girls.

01:45:46.440 You might find a fantastic girl.

01:45:48.400 Just remember, she probably hasn't thought about this stuff as much as you have.

01:45:53.160 So, go a little bit easier on her.

01:45:57.820 You know what?

01:45:59.140 Pearl even says that.

01:46:00.320 I said that to him too.

01:46:03.160 She says that all the time.

01:46:04.800 I said, why do you go so hard?

01:46:05.740 I said, Doug at PA that girls will change their opinions when they like a guy. 1.00

01:46:13.020 Like girls, girls will be have blue hair and be a feminist and then start dating a conservative 1.00

01:46:18.440 guy.

01:46:18.940 And then she doesn't think women should vote six months later. 1.00

01:46:22.740 I've seen it.

01:46:23.920 Like, you're sitting this, you got to sit there and you just kind of listen to all this rhetoric

01:46:30.420 and all this rigmarole.

01:46:31.840 And I'm just like, this is what I have to do.

01:46:35.220 And I even know that she's just like putting on this, on this bravado and just, but it's

01:46:43.080 just sitting through it is the problem.

01:46:45.940 I wish I could hit the fast forward button.

01:46:47.640 I get you.

01:46:50.380 I get you.

01:46:51.120 100%.

01:46:51.920 Women are attracted to women in general, but only traumatized and damaged women pursue 1.00

01:46:57.740 such relationships.

01:47:01.360 Okay.

01:47:01.920 Well, thanks so much for coming on.

01:47:04.020 Let me know if you're ever in America.

01:47:05.600 We'll totally bring you in studio if you're ever here.

01:47:09.200 Yeah, I'll come to America. 0.52

01:47:10.340 Definitely.

01:47:10.780 100%.

01:47:11.260 Maybe next year.

01:47:12.500 Sure.

01:47:13.140 But I'd love it.

01:47:13.980 Yeah.

01:47:14.160 You got yourself a new fan over here, Jake.

01:47:18.460 I wasn't, I wasn't, I believed you before, but I am now.

01:47:21.660 I have to check your stuff out.

01:47:23.020 I told you.

01:47:23.740 We're biased a little against female dating coaches, but I was like, no, he's pretty honest 0.99

01:47:27.940 with the women.

01:47:28.580 Yeah.

01:47:29.060 And I was pessimistic, wasn't I?

01:47:31.340 I know.

01:47:31.900 Who is this guy?

01:47:33.200 You won me over, man.

01:47:34.520 And so, so if you won me over, odds are you, you're going to win over a lot of the guys

01:47:38.560 that are going to watch this after the fact and a lot of guys in the chat.

01:47:42.120 I love that.

01:47:42.900 And Doug, I want to remember, I'm not a female dating coach by choice.

01:47:47.840 Yeah.

01:47:48.580 It just happens to be that I coach 80% women. 0.99

01:47:52.860 Cool.

01:47:53.360 It's not my, yeah.

01:47:54.840 It's just, that turns out just what it is.

01:47:59.040 Interesting.

01:47:59.900 Yeah.

01:48:00.280 It just sort of became that.

01:48:02.640 Yeah.

01:48:02.780 Yeah.

01:48:03.000 Just the, you know, like the Steve Harvey's where they just say like, women are awesome. 0.85

01:48:09.560 Yeah.

01:48:10.220 But no, I, when I saw the one, I liked the one of you where you were like, what was it?

01:48:15.960 I wrote it in my notes.

01:48:16.900 I mentioned it earlier.

01:48:17.880 I think you were saying like, oh, the club one.

01:48:21.500 That's what I was like, oh, I like him.

01:48:23.200 He's funny.

01:48:23.740 Going out at night without your partner.

01:48:24.980 Yeah.

01:48:25.260 Yeah.

01:48:26.200 Okay.

01:48:26.560 Well, thanks for coming on.

01:48:28.200 Let me know if you're ever in America.

01:48:29.700 Do you want to shout out your stuff?

01:48:32.680 Oh, yeah.

01:48:33.000 Guys, if you, if you like me, just search up Jake Maddock anywhere.

01:48:35.880 You'll see me.

01:48:36.780 Cool.

01:48:37.360 All right.

01:48:37.640 Thanks for coming on.

01:48:39.840 Thanks, guys.

01:48:40.360 Thanks for having me.

01:48:41.100 Yeah.

01:48:41.280 Have a good one.

01:48:41.700 Bye.

01:48:42.760 Yes.

01:48:48.560 Doug, NPA, you got any final thoughts today?

01:48:51.980 Yeah, I wasn't going to come on, but I had to because I didn't.

01:48:56.580 Go ahead.

01:48:57.200 Go ahead.

01:48:58.040 Go ahead.

01:48:58.820 No, I said, I know.

01:49:00.020 I didn't know you were coming on.

01:49:01.580 I just heard you.

01:49:02.760 I know you texted me, but I didn't see it.

01:49:04.660 Go ahead.

01:49:05.440 Yeah.

01:49:05.800 It's just because I can tell you, you respect the guy.

01:49:10.280 So you were kind of softball, and I know you didn't, I know you didn't want it to become

01:49:16.200 a debate, so I didn't want to debate the guy, but I was kind of getting snake oil salesman

01:49:23.100 at the beginning, but talking with him, he kind of, you know, I saw how based he was.

01:49:29.640 Yeah.

01:49:30.160 I mean, like he's, I think he agreed.

01:49:33.920 I'd say we probably agree like 60% of the stuff he says.

01:49:37.300 I mean, not all of it, but you don't agree with like anyone, everyone in anything, you

01:49:42.600 know?

01:49:42.880 Yeah.

01:49:43.160 He, he was great.

01:49:44.400 You know, I'll check out his stuff.

01:49:46.180 He's definitely, I would never pay a dating coach, but you know, he's, he's doing something

01:49:52.300 right.

01:49:53.180 And you know, any, I mean, he's in Australia, so I mean, that's enough makes you feel bad

01:49:59.180 for the guy, Australia is Australia and Canada guys, yikes, but yeah, good, great guests.

01:50:05.880 I'm glad that you brought him on.

01:50:07.980 And I just didn't want to try to debate the guy because you know, I sort of wouldn't know

01:50:13.040 what you brought him for, but I just had to put some, you know, I have some serious, you

01:50:16.240 know, my views about dating and stuff like that.

01:50:17.940 So I'm glad he was able to listen and give some feedback on it.

01:50:22.520 Yeah.

01:50:23.000 No, he's nice.

01:50:23.780 I like them.

01:50:25.060 Um, yeah, he could come on in studio if he's ever here, but, um, okay.

01:50:31.960 Any final thoughts you got?

01:50:35.320 Uh, yeah, guys, you got it.

01:50:39.400 Like I said to Jake, women still think that you should take the moral higher ground or the 1.00

01:50:45.400 higher ground as a man, you know, don't ghost women, you know, they want to be modern while 1.00

01:50:51.960 you're still holding onto your traditional rules and dating.

01:50:54.700 Why, why guys, why you should be asking what's in it for you at all times?

01:51:00.340 Cause women are going to be doing the same thing. 1.00

01:51:02.760 Always ask yourself what's in it for me as a man, you know, this whole men sacrificing

01:51:11.620 their mental, emotional, physical, monetary health for nothing.

01:51:17.160 Those days are over.

01:51:18.960 And once again, dating is war guys, all spirit, love and war.

01:51:23.240 So that's it.

01:51:25.140 Cool.

01:51:26.200 Um, well guys, let me know if there's anyone else you want me to have on, I want to do more

01:51:30.020 of these collaborations.

01:51:31.040 He's in Australia, but I actually want to get more people in studio.

01:51:33.980 Cause I know you guys liked me having like Laura Loomer on and those people.

01:51:37.860 So if you have any suggestions, put them in the comments also guys, if you want to join

01:51:42.400 our private members, only community, we do have different, um, courses on there.

01:51:48.620 We have administrative violence, how to use the justice system against these hoes that 1.00

01:51:53.200 are using it against you.

01:51:55.060 Um, we also have, we're going to add how to, how to dump someone.

01:51:59.940 So we're going to take the best breakups and give courses on them.

01:52:02.780 I like that one.

01:52:04.320 I think we should keep that.

01:52:06.220 And then, um, what are the other ones?

01:52:08.960 We have, um, tips on how to see if your girl's cheating. 1.00

01:52:13.260 We have some other stuff in there.

01:52:14.280 Anyways, it's a one-time lifetime membership.

01:52:16.260 So if you want to get in a call and see if it's the right fit for you, the link is the

01:52:20.300 first one.

01:52:20.740 It's pearlinvite.com.

01:52:21.940 That's pearlinvite.com.

01:52:23.380 Anyways, guys, let me know what you think in the comments, like the video, subscribe to

01:52:26.520 the channel, and I'll see you guys next time.

01:52:28.000 Bye-bye.

01:52:32.780 Bye-bye.

JustPearlyThings - June 17, 2025

Jake Maddock Joins Pearl Daily

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