JustPearlyThings - April 21, 2023


@JWALLER Advice To 21 Year Old Women


Episode Stats

Length

11 minutes

Words per Minute

210.02034

Word Count

2,374

Sentence Count

204


Summary


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Do you want to be married?
00:00:01.860 Skip me, please.
00:00:06.340 Marriage in the traditional sense is not really something that bothers me.
00:00:09.400 I'd rather have a partnership.
00:00:09.780 Oh, you want to do the two houses thing, don't you?
00:00:12.540 I'd rather have a partnership and I'd rather have a man present in my life,
00:00:16.380 but it doesn't have to be overarching and overwhelming
00:00:19.520 with the way that people are making it seem nowadays.
00:00:22.120 I fully agree with what you're saying.
00:00:23.880 I think that for me to be able to actually take a man very seriously,
00:00:26.700 he has to be a man that can actually bring something new to my life,
00:00:30.940 you know, with somebody that I can look up to and I can be like,
00:00:33.120 okay, you're teaching me something new.
00:00:34.820 Okay, Denalva, I need you to answer the question.
00:00:37.680 Do you want to be married, yes or no?
00:00:39.140 I want to have a partnership.
00:00:40.260 Marriage is not really what my relationship is.
00:00:40.860 Okay, so you don't care about being married on paper,
00:00:43.380 but you want a relationship?
00:00:44.720 Yeah.
00:00:45.220 Okay, do you want kids, yes or no?
00:00:47.540 Yeah, definitely.
00:00:48.640 Okay, how many kids?
00:00:50.120 In the world of today, I think it's safer to have two.
00:00:52.760 Two kids, okay, and you're 30?
00:00:54.380 Yes.
00:00:54.680 So when do you want to be in a relationship
00:00:56.640 and when do you want to have the kids?
00:00:59.540 Since it's just been about like a year since I've rebuilt my life,
00:01:04.680 I'd say maybe like I'll probably pick my husband in about six months.
00:01:10.260 Okay, so in the next six months, you're going to find a husband.
00:01:12.480 Do you have some prospects?
00:01:13.960 Yeah, of course.
00:01:14.880 Okay.
00:01:15.860 So you got a list?
00:01:17.560 I've got, well.
00:01:19.560 Anyone in the chat?
00:01:20.940 And he's ready to marry you within six months?
00:01:23.640 Yeah.
00:01:23.800 Okay, and so then you're going to, or not, sorry, not get married, be in a relationship.
00:01:27.920 Well, not marry me, but be in a relationship.
00:01:28.900 It's very, listen.
00:01:29.620 And then when do you want your first kid by?
00:01:32.900 I mean, I don't really go into people, to meet people superficially.
00:01:36.160 I tend to go quite quickly.
00:01:36.700 Okay, I need you to answer that.
00:01:38.400 So wait, wait, I'm just giving the introduction.
00:01:40.340 31, 32, 33, 34, 35.
00:01:42.880 No, it just maybe like, it depends on how the relationship is going to be within months.
00:01:44.560 Okay, 31, 32, 33, 33.
00:01:46.580 It's not about age, about how many people are.
00:01:47.960 Well, it is about age.
00:01:49.940 No, no, essentially, I'm not going to say I want to have a kid by 31.
00:01:52.920 I mean, you're running out of eggs.
00:01:54.000 I ain't going to lie.
00:01:54.400 No, well, I do.
00:01:55.680 And actually, just being 30 doesn't mean you don't have eggs.
00:01:58.140 You're losing them.
00:02:00.280 Janelva, geriatric pregnancy starts at 35.
00:02:02.840 That's fine.
00:02:03.340 I've got five years.
00:02:04.220 A lot happens in five years.
00:02:05.280 Especially for me to look for a husband in six months.
00:02:07.160 What age do you want to have your first kid?
00:02:10.140 I would like to have my first kid when me and my husband have established that we are ready to do it together.
00:02:16.980 You just said you don't want to be married.
00:02:19.160 Well, I'm pretty much.
00:02:20.220 Talking out of both sides of the mouth once again.
00:02:22.600 My partner.
00:02:22.980 First of habit.
00:02:24.480 Once me and my partner, my hubby, yeah, which not on paper but in life, once me and him establish that we can get on, then we are ready for the thing.
00:02:32.080 That's it.
00:02:32.420 I'm not going to say I want these kids when he's not ready.
00:02:34.480 It takes two to tango.
00:02:35.360 Okay, so you're going to have the kids when he's ready?
00:02:37.480 When we're both ready.
00:02:38.640 It's a conversation that we have together.
00:02:40.380 Okay, okay.
00:02:40.800 I want to.
00:02:41.540 All right.
00:02:42.100 Do you want to be married?
00:02:43.300 How many kids do you want?
00:02:44.220 And what age do you want to have kids?
00:02:45.200 I want to be married by 25.
00:02:47.200 And I want to have two kids by 30.
00:02:48.680 And then my third kid before I'm 35.
00:02:51.480 Yeah.
00:02:51.980 How old are you now?
00:02:52.980 19.
00:02:53.800 Okay.
00:02:54.480 Yeah.
00:02:56.380 19.
00:02:56.860 That's good.
00:02:57.820 That's a really good mindset to have at 19.
00:02:59.700 That's really good.
00:03:00.500 Thanks.
00:03:02.580 So I'm 21.
00:03:04.620 I want to be married by 25.
00:03:10.180 That's my aim.
00:03:11.680 And then children I want as soon as possible once I'm married.
00:03:15.320 How many?
00:03:16.840 I like kids.
00:03:18.380 So four maybe?
00:03:20.260 Four kids.
00:03:20.820 Four kids.
00:03:21.420 Yeah.
00:03:21.760 Four kids.
00:03:23.100 But then again, I don't know.
00:03:24.700 I think I've got a major problem because I'm finding it very difficult to find the right person.
00:03:31.640 And I don't know if I'm the problem or if it's the men.
00:03:36.920 Well, what are you looking for?
00:03:39.500 Someone definitely more dominant than me.
00:03:42.180 I feel like as if I've gone too far down the career route.
00:03:45.220 And I've obviously I'm happy.
00:03:46.920 You're only 21.
00:03:47.920 I've done a lot.
00:03:48.960 Okay.
00:03:49.240 What have you done?
00:03:50.720 So I've got my dream job.
00:03:52.260 I'm an executive assistant.
00:03:54.020 So that was like what I wanted to do.
00:03:56.320 I work for a really big family.
00:03:58.460 I've got my dream car.
00:04:01.060 And then for me to go out there and try to find a man who's able to beat that.
00:04:06.140 Because obviously that's what women want.
00:04:07.480 They want someone bigger than them.
00:04:09.200 Someone stronger.
00:04:10.120 Someone more masculine.
00:04:11.920 Dominant.
00:04:12.400 But then I can't find that.
00:04:14.460 I don't know why.
00:04:15.100 I do know why because we're surrounded by very weak men, unfortunately.
00:04:22.560 Batty boys.
00:04:23.460 Yeah.
00:04:25.220 But yeah, I'm not going to speak too much.
00:04:27.160 Do you have like an income requirement?
00:04:29.580 Yeah.
00:04:29.800 How much does he have to make?
00:04:31.860 I would say about at least 25% more than me.
00:04:37.380 Which is roughly?
00:04:39.160 It will have to be in like the 40, 45, 48,000 kind of mark.
00:04:43.840 Okay, so that's like in U.S. dollars, that's like 55, 60.
00:04:47.480 Yeah, something like that.
00:04:48.500 You can find that guy.
00:04:49.140 Yeah, that's not crazy.
00:04:49.980 You can find that guy.
00:04:50.780 Can I say something just quickly to her?
00:04:52.700 No, I'm going to ask her.
00:04:54.380 So I'm curious to the guys.
00:04:57.480 What are the best places for women to find husbands?
00:05:00.840 That's a good question.
00:05:03.720 Nowadays, a lot of it happens online.
00:05:05.320 A lot of people Instagram, but I think like you should go put yourself in situations where
00:05:09.700 I think the farmer's market, go grocery shopping.
00:05:13.840 I think the church, you should go find a guy there.
00:05:17.900 A picnic, like a little park, you know, just go to cute places.
00:05:20.660 I met a lot of great couples recently in Japan.
00:05:22.380 They met at the beach.
00:05:23.720 You know, I think that if you are in your feminine nature and you are doing things that
00:05:28.840 coincide with that, you can find that guy.
00:05:30.800 I hear a lot of females say there's a whole lot of accounts on TikTok that base their content
00:05:36.840 off of how to find a successful rich man or how to do this or how to do that.
00:05:42.100 And they usually say, they usually target Mayfair, Knightsbridge, go to this bar, go to this club.
00:05:48.900 I wouldn't seek that out in the club.
00:05:51.180 I don't agree.
00:05:52.120 Immediately, you put yourself in the scenario that guys at that level are not looking for.
00:05:56.940 You don't want a girl who's clubbing.
00:05:59.080 I think what Sneeko said is important.
00:06:01.580 Being in your feminine energy, wherever you go, you're going to more likely attract a better
00:06:07.220 quality of man because the problem with Mayfair and, you know, Kensington and Knightsbridge
00:06:11.480 and these places is you're going to meet a lot of guys who just want to have one night
00:06:14.360 stands, but equally, you're going to meet them online as well.
00:06:17.240 So it's really about the energy that you put out in terms of what you attract.
00:06:21.860 But I think as well, going to some more like chilled out places, going to Borough Market,
00:06:25.160 like you said, go to Whole Foods, you know, those kind of places, more likely to meet
00:06:28.300 somebody who's a bit more authentic than maybe the more superficial, glamorous.
00:06:31.620 Yeah.
00:06:32.200 Yeah.
00:06:32.300 Jim's good.
00:06:32.880 Although as long as you don't start filming him and putting it on TikTok.
00:06:34.960 Please don't do that.
00:06:37.220 What do you think?
00:06:41.660 It's hard because it depends on what you mean, how you define the man, right?
00:06:45.800 Whole Foods.
00:06:46.240 I don't grocery shop anymore.
00:06:47.500 So I don't think you're going to find a one percenter in there, but at the same time,
00:06:51.280 you know, you have to find them somewhere.
00:06:54.300 So I think Sneeko's dead on with the online thing.
00:06:56.440 And then it comes down to filtering and asking the right questions, but being respectful inside
00:06:59.860 those questions, you know, say, and just be hat in hand, honest, like, look, man, I'm looking
00:07:03.980 for this kind of guy, you know, and 50, 60 grand.
00:07:07.840 He also nailed that.
00:07:08.760 That's not going to be a problem for you.
00:07:10.200 In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if you got a bunch of messages after this show because
00:07:13.360 that's so very obtainable now.
00:07:15.320 Right.
00:07:16.080 So you need to aim higher.
00:07:18.320 Yeah.
00:07:18.680 And I think you could, I think, I think you could get higher.
00:07:21.200 Yeah, you could.
00:07:22.600 But, um, you know, also you have to understand that guys that are pretty well to do have
00:07:26.920 pretty well to do hobbies, bro.
00:07:28.640 If I was a girl, I'd be playing golf like a motherfucker.
00:07:31.020 You know what I'm saying?
00:07:32.060 Even if you suck.
00:07:32.940 Yeah.
00:07:33.080 Even if you're trash, even if you're trash, you know, so it's like those types of things,
00:07:36.700 you know, where, where do, where do guys like that meet up?
00:07:40.140 Where are they?
00:07:40.860 And can it not be in a bar scene?
00:07:42.520 Because you don't want to meet somebody you're going to be with forever in a bar.
00:07:44.980 Because the first question you're going to get asked is you have to carry that around
00:07:48.140 in your relationship.
00:07:49.040 Oh, we met in the club.
00:07:50.120 Right.
00:07:50.980 So I, I would try not to meet a person in the club, honestly.
00:07:55.380 So when you say the best place to meet someone is online, how do you portray yourself in
00:08:00.220 the best way possible online?
00:08:01.840 What is your ideal?
00:08:03.240 Ideally, if you want to be wife material, I would make it be known that you had curves
00:08:08.740 without showing skin.
00:08:10.180 Okay.
00:08:10.860 There's a classy way to be sexy.
00:08:13.120 Right.
00:08:13.340 You know, the woman that's like very clearly built well, but is not showing it, but she's
00:08:18.860 still showing it just, there's clothes, right?
00:08:20.980 Yeah.
00:08:21.160 With a bit of mystery to it.
00:08:22.440 Right.
00:08:22.860 And it'll drive men wild because now if you go online and you look at a girl's account
00:08:28.020 and first of all, she's got the cleavage everywhere.
00:08:31.020 But if you just scroll down a little bit, you can see exactly what her nipples look like.
00:08:34.400 I don't want a woman like that.
00:08:36.500 I don't want that.
00:08:37.320 You know why?
00:08:37.880 Because a man gets a lot of value from other men out of how classy and how beautiful this
00:08:43.160 woman is.
00:08:43.960 And if she's out there promoting it to the world, number one, that's marketing.
00:08:47.560 So I'd never accept that as a man personally.
00:08:50.680 And then number two, everybody in that group is going to look down upon that man because
00:08:55.060 the woman is out there marketing and they've all seen everything he's got.
00:08:59.340 So the sacredness, which is one of the most beautiful things I believe that a woman has,
00:09:03.980 is now given away.
00:09:05.760 So I think it's very important to compete because you are competing against BBLs and
00:09:10.540 boob jobs and all those things.
00:09:11.700 But even if you get a boob job, there's a way to show that you have big poops and a busty
00:09:17.360 figure and you're in good shape without actually showing it, if that makes sense.
00:09:21.960 What do you think about women that get plastic surgery to attract men?
00:09:26.240 Do you think that's a good idea?
00:09:27.060 I think it's smart.
00:09:28.040 I would do it if I was a woman.
00:09:28.860 If I was a woman, I would have fake boobs for sure.
00:09:31.960 If I didn't have, you know, you understand what I'm saying?
00:09:33.980 Like, yeah, let's not cap about that.
00:09:36.060 And I'd also be in the squat rack and I'd also be doing all the things that it took to
00:09:40.140 attract men.
00:09:41.380 Beauty is very mathematical in a lot of ways.
00:09:43.420 The attractive things about a woman, like as far as bust and shape and all those things,
00:09:47.500 those things are very, very, very real.
00:09:49.760 And although it sounds shallow, it's the basis of the relationship is attraction.
00:09:53.480 So if you can be attracted to somebody and then be, and then another thing, I would be
00:09:58.440 at least well-read, understand politics, have a strong opinion because you're going to want
00:10:03.380 those kinds of things.
00:10:04.140 Cause I do, there is nothing more attractive for me than a woman that is based.
00:10:08.380 If a woman is based, like we'll have a strong opinion about the right things.
00:10:12.760 If you're a communist, I don't want to, yeah.
00:10:14.400 Like, I mean, I mean, obviously feminists, right.
00:10:17.440 And here's a newsflash for you.
00:10:19.060 Most, most successful men are based in pretty much conservative.
00:10:22.700 If you're talking politics, right.
00:10:25.440 That's by and largely.
00:10:26.920 And then if you get a lefty that's successful, he's probably going to be kind of simply, you're
00:10:31.360 probably going to sacrifice some masculinity there, you know?
00:10:34.360 So for me, the right hobbies, I like the, I like the whole foods thing, but online and
00:10:40.060 then make sure you're the kind of class that a man says, okay, I can take her and like
00:10:45.240 turn her and build her and keep developing her.
00:10:47.540 Cause she's already on the right path.
00:10:49.860 She's already the right cloth.
00:10:51.560 Men often pick the wrong cloth as do women, but having a, being the right cloth from the
00:10:57.520 jump, you're giving that man a canvas to turn you into a queen.
00:11:01.500 So that's what I would do.
00:11:02.560 I was just banned on Tik TOK and we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform.
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