JustPearlyThings - Logical Woman Drops Truth Bombs On Modern Women

00:00:00.000 No, but not just you, though.

00:00:01.160 I do find a lot of people are willing to leave relationships

00:00:05.980 that's got kids in them, as opposed to leaving it. 0.98

00:00:10.020 They take marriage more seriously.

00:00:11.860 But no one wants to get married.

00:00:13.900 Because it's finances.

00:00:15.160 Who wants to spend money on a wedding? 1.00

00:00:17.060 What guy wants to spend money on a wedding?

00:00:18.440 It takes them long enough to get there.

00:00:20.200 And so I guess, yeah.

00:00:21.500 It should be cheaper than having a kid.

00:00:23.920 Well, in one go, yeah.

00:00:25.620 But you don't have to spend the $180,000 for a child.

00:00:30.000 Oh, I was going to say, what kind of marriage is that?

00:00:32.620 I was like, yo, I don't know.

00:00:33.900 You see it spread over 18 years, not just one day and one day for, yeah.

00:00:39.180 I mean, I don't see it as a waste of money, my children.

00:00:42.600 I see it as a beautiful experience.

00:00:45.820 But the issue is, why do people,

00:00:47.320 if they've made the step of actually having a child together,

00:00:50.100 and then they just decide, oh, actually, I'm not that happy, whatever.

00:00:52.960 I mean, okay, putting aside cases of terrible abuse and that sort of thing.

00:00:58.260 But in more normal circumstances where it's just like the spark's not there anymore,

00:01:01.720 the vibe's like not kind of gone.

00:01:03.380 Why is it then that people feel it's okay to separate, if that makes sense?

00:01:09.700 Because it is very damaging to kids.

00:01:13.440 And I speak as somebody, you know, I was from a broken home.

00:01:15.620 I've experienced this kind of stuff.

00:01:16.780 I've seen it in my family and other families.

00:01:20.020 Yeah, it seems people can be quite going, how about this these days?

00:01:22.460 I also think it's been made easier for women.

00:01:25.360 It has been made easier.

00:01:26.580 When I was younger, I've spoken about this before,

00:01:29.980 that my mum made it sound like I didn't need a man.

00:01:34.400 So it was never in my mind that, oh, you are not going to be able to do it on your own.

00:01:39.240 But I said to my daughter, do not do it.

00:01:42.580 You need two parents in the same household.

00:01:46.740 Like there's moments where my son does something and I have to send videos and send pictures when we were together.

00:01:53.260 Well, he's in the military, so he probably won't be there anyway.

00:01:56.180 Is it because society encourages but like feels over responsibility now?

00:02:01.160 Yeah.

00:02:02.620 I think it's that element of happiness again.

00:02:04.580 People are too concerned about how they're feeling rather than the logical reasons for doing things.

00:02:08.860 It's like you can say what you want about how happy you are and how happy the child is if the parents are in separate homes.

00:02:14.000 But factually, children who come from two-parent homes do better off in life.

00:02:19.200 Factually, children who come from single homes are more likely to be homeless.

00:02:23.100 They're more likely to be in prison.

00:02:24.520 They're more likely to do drugs.

00:02:25.800 They're more likely to have addictions.

00:02:27.620 So I just think that this whole, I don't know, the way the world is right now,

00:02:33.120 everything's focused on how people feel.

00:02:35.200 And the point is, is that feelings are temporary.

00:02:37.820 They last in the moment.

00:02:38.660 They don't last forever.

00:02:39.460 But the actions that you do in life, that does last forever.

00:02:44.740 And there's a domino effect to everything you do.

00:02:47.520 So I think it's just all about sacrifice and how much you're willing to sacrifice.

00:02:50.980 And I don't think people these days are willing to sacrifice a lot.

00:02:53.460 I think also we need to recognize that not everybody is born super logical.

00:02:58.300 Not everybody is, like, it took me a long time to have this ability to logically break down in the moment

00:03:05.180 how my feelings are going to have a reaction and action.

00:03:09.480 Some people are just born logical.

00:03:10.880 Why is that?

00:03:12.360 Was, was your, did your parents not teach you to be logical?

00:03:15.940 Like what?

00:03:16.180 My mum's a feeler as well in terms of Myers-Briggs.

00:03:18.520 I know some, not many people believe in it.

00:03:20.160 Were your parents together?

00:03:21.320 No, my dad was in, um, Her Majesty's Pleasure.

00:03:26.220 So no, they weren't together.

00:03:27.260 I don't know what that means.

00:03:28.440 Prison, prison.

00:03:30.040 Okay.

00:03:30.660 So, but so, so there you go.

00:03:32.760 So the reason, like the reason that you didn't have that was because it's, it seems like you didn't have a father in the home.

00:03:38.920 Yeah, yeah, definitely.

00:03:39.820 And so it kind of goes back to what she was saying.

00:03:42.640 It's like a generation of women that put their feelings before the family and who had to suffer for it, you. 0.96

00:03:47.660 Yeah.

00:03:48.200 And then who had to suffer for it, your kids, because you weren't taught that.

00:03:50.740 And it's a complete, it's a complete cycle.

00:03:52.100 Yeah, that's what I was saying the other day, that it needs both.

00:03:54.700 Because the men are, my son's dad, like puts logic, just, I'm like, I just send Ethan to his dad.

00:04:01.280 I'm like, he's had a.

00:04:01.920 Men are great at that.

00:04:03.980 Yeah.

00:04:04.720 But sometimes I think people get into a relationship or people get married for codependency reasons.

00:04:11.900 Like they can't handle life by themselves, so they need to lean on someone or depend on someone.

00:04:17.820 Is that a bad thing in marriage?

00:04:19.640 Should be intradependent, not codependent.

00:04:22.240 I think you should both be equally dependent so you can help each other.

00:04:25.840 Because what if one day your husband, he's, his finances aren't doing well.

00:04:31.200 And obviously you're used to being dependent on him.

00:04:34.240 How are you going to help him?

00:04:35.220 So you have to be equally as independent.

00:04:38.040 How does that work in society?

00:04:40.640 Does it work well?

00:04:42.360 What do you mean?

00:04:43.320 Women being equally dependent on their husbands. 1.00

00:04:46.480 No.

00:04:47.060 Does that, is that a good outcome in society?

00:04:49.540 The more women worked and were there more equal, that did it have a good outcome? 1.00

00:04:54.240 Were there more families or less families?

00:04:57.060 It's okay if you don't know.

00:04:58.120 What do you mean, what do you mean as in like?

00:05:00.520 So like the more women were worked and there's two incomes, the less families there were. 1.00

00:05:05.780 The less women respect men and their place because it's like, I don't need you. 1.00

00:05:09.980 I got my own.

00:05:10.580 I don't know.

00:05:10.660 I'm thinking.

00:05:11.580 So when you say like, it's good, I'm asking, is it good?

00:05:15.120 Did it lead to good outcomes?

00:05:17.060 Beyonce and Jay-Z.

00:05:18.420 Nah.

00:05:19.340 Is a celebrity couple what we should base everyday relationships off of?

00:05:23.500 Well, what I'm saying is you should be independent and be able to take care and love yourself

00:05:28.600 and know how to deal with yourself so you can help somebody else.

00:05:32.720 You can't love somebody else until you love yourself first.

00:05:36.000 Were you talking about financially codependent or emotionally then?

00:05:38.760 Both.

00:05:39.420 I think overall, emotionally, financially, mentally as well, that you should be whole yourself

00:05:46.980 before getting into a relationship or getting married.

00:05:49.500 I think you should have the ability to, like, because obviously, depending on what age you

00:05:55.360 meet your partner, obviously you would have worked at some point, but then have that ability

00:05:59.400 to, because when you have kids, as soon as you push them out, you're not going to be able

00:06:03.120 to work.

00:06:04.040 That's what I think is part of the problem.

00:06:06.240 Because literally, if you're there working and I'm there working, then there's two jobs.

00:06:10.160 The employer has no reason to give me a high wage because there's more people available

00:06:15.960 for the roles.

00:06:16.560 So now that the price of everything has increased and everything is more expensive and I get

00:06:23.160 less money, now you have to be, now I have to be codependent on my wife. 0.99

00:06:27.040 It's not an option anymore.

00:06:28.760 Do you get what I'm trying to say?

00:06:29.720 Whereas if you guys wasn't working, then the employer doesn't necessarily have to employ

00:06:35.900 me.

00:06:36.200 But if he wants to employ me, he has to pay me a wage that could feed my family.

00:06:39.320 Yeah.

00:06:40.480 Equally.

00:06:40.980 But say, if you're going through a hard patch, your wife should be able to help.

00:06:45.300 I've got friends.

00:06:45.580 Friends, wife, girlfriend, whatever's going on, they should help you until you get back

00:06:51.620 onto your feet.

00:06:52.720 When it comes to finances, my guy's got me, bro.

00:06:55.100 Like, I'm not going to ask a woman to help me with nothing, bro.

00:06:57.380 What if she's your wife? 0.95

00:06:58.320 Yeah, I'm not going to ask her to, listen, babe, your job is to worry about the household. 0.81

00:07:03.920 I'm not even going to let you know that we're having financial issues to that point.

00:07:07.380 Before it even gets to that point, I'm trying to...

00:07:08.980 So you're going to lack communication as well?

00:07:10.000 No, I'm going to be like, listen, this month might be a little hard, but I'm going to try

00:07:14.680 my best to literally sort it out.

00:07:16.920 That's good.

00:07:17.580 As long as you communicate, because you can't keep your partner.

00:07:19.700 Yeah, but why do...

00:07:20.460 We don't need to know everything.

00:07:21.740 What, if the lights get switched off or the bailiffs at the door, you need to know at some

00:07:24.720 point, right?

00:07:25.920 We ain't getting that far.

00:07:26.660 See, this is what you just said.

00:07:28.580 You just went to like the worst case scenario.

00:07:29.740 No, no, I mean, what I'm saying is communication is important.

00:07:32.700 You don't need to tell me everything.

00:07:34.820 Yeah, but I just think as women, like, sometimes we think we're... 0.99

00:07:37.060 And this is a lesson I had to learn, but I think that we think we're entitled to information

00:07:40.800 that men are just trying to fix it and not have us worry about it. 1.00

00:07:43.640 Yeah, literally.

00:07:44.600 I agree.

00:07:45.100 I don't want you to think about it, too, because you're going to be stressed and your stress

00:07:47.660 is going to stress me out and I'm going to be less able to sort it out.

00:07:50.720 I'm like, listen, it's sorted.

00:07:52.540 Every month has been sorted so far, right?

00:07:54.240 All right, so don't worry.

00:07:54.980 This time, it's just a little bit harder for me to just rub my back a little harder.

00:07:58.840 You know what I'm saying?

00:07:59.560 You know, just give me an extra little bit of loving and, you know?

00:08:02.440 You know, I was just banned on TikTok and we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform.

00:08:10.000 If you want to help, please consider sending a super thanks below.

00:08:14.440 Every donation helps and it helps make what we do possible.

JustPearlyThings - April 17, 2023

Logical Woman Drops Truth Bombs On Modern Women

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