Logical Woman Drops Truth Bombs On Modern Women
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
209.1931
Summary
In this episode, I speak to a woman who has been a single mum for over 20 years. She shares her experience of raising her son and daughter in a single parent home. We discuss the benefits of having two parents in the same household, and why it s important to have a partner in your life.
Transcript
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I do find a lot of people are willing to leave relationships
00:00:05.980
that's got kids in them, as opposed to leaving it.
00:00:25.620
But you don't have to spend the $180,000 for a child.
00:00:30.000
Oh, I was going to say, what kind of marriage is that?
00:00:33.900
You see it spread over 18 years, not just one day and one day for, yeah.
00:00:39.180
I mean, I don't see it as a waste of money, my children.
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if they've made the step of actually having a child together,
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and then they just decide, oh, actually, I'm not that happy, whatever.
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I mean, okay, putting aside cases of terrible abuse and that sort of thing.
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But in more normal circumstances where it's just like the spark's not there anymore,
00:01:03.380
Why is it then that people feel it's okay to separate, if that makes sense?
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And I speak as somebody, you know, I was from a broken home.
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Yeah, it seems people can be quite going, how about this these days?
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When I was younger, I've spoken about this before,
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that my mum made it sound like I didn't need a man.
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So it was never in my mind that, oh, you are not going to be able to do it on your own.
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Like there's moments where my son does something and I have to send videos and send pictures when we were together.
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Well, he's in the military, so he probably won't be there anyway.
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Is it because society encourages but like feels over responsibility now?
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People are too concerned about how they're feeling rather than the logical reasons for doing things.
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It's like you can say what you want about how happy you are and how happy the child is if the parents are in separate homes.
00:02:14.000
But factually, children who come from two-parent homes do better off in life.
00:02:19.200
Factually, children who come from single homes are more likely to be homeless.
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So I just think that this whole, I don't know, the way the world is right now,
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And the point is, is that feelings are temporary.
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But the actions that you do in life, that does last forever.
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And there's a domino effect to everything you do.
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So I think it's just all about sacrifice and how much you're willing to sacrifice.
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And I don't think people these days are willing to sacrifice a lot.
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I think also we need to recognize that not everybody is born super logical.
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Not everybody is, like, it took me a long time to have this ability to logically break down in the moment
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how my feelings are going to have a reaction and action.
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Was, was your, did your parents not teach you to be logical?
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My mum's a feeler as well in terms of Myers-Briggs.
00:03:32.760
So the reason, like the reason that you didn't have that was because it's, it seems like you didn't have a father in the home.
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And so it kind of goes back to what she was saying.
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It's like a generation of women that put their feelings before the family and who had to suffer for it, you.
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And then who had to suffer for it, your kids, because you weren't taught that.
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Yeah, that's what I was saying the other day, that it needs both.
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Because the men are, my son's dad, like puts logic, just, I'm like, I just send Ethan to his dad.
00:04:04.720
But sometimes I think people get into a relationship or people get married for codependency reasons.
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Like they can't handle life by themselves, so they need to lean on someone or depend on someone.
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I think you should both be equally dependent so you can help each other.
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Because what if one day your husband, he's, his finances aren't doing well.
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And obviously you're used to being dependent on him.
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Women being equally dependent on their husbands.
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The more women worked and were there more equal, that did it have a good outcome?
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So like the more women were worked and there's two incomes, the less families there were.
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The less women respect men and their place because it's like, I don't need you.
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So when you say like, it's good, I'm asking, is it good?
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Is a celebrity couple what we should base everyday relationships off of?
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Well, what I'm saying is you should be independent and be able to take care and love yourself
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and know how to deal with yourself so you can help somebody else.
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You can't love somebody else until you love yourself first.
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Were you talking about financially codependent or emotionally then?
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I think overall, emotionally, financially, mentally as well, that you should be whole yourself
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before getting into a relationship or getting married.
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I think you should have the ability to, like, because obviously, depending on what age you
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meet your partner, obviously you would have worked at some point, but then have that ability
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to, because when you have kids, as soon as you push them out, you're not going to be able
00:06:06.240
Because literally, if you're there working and I'm there working, then there's two jobs.
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The employer has no reason to give me a high wage because there's more people available
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So now that the price of everything has increased and everything is more expensive and I get
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less money, now you have to be, now I have to be codependent on my wife.
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Whereas if you guys wasn't working, then the employer doesn't necessarily have to employ
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But if he wants to employ me, he has to pay me a wage that could feed my family.
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But say, if you're going through a hard patch, your wife should be able to help.
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Friends, wife, girlfriend, whatever's going on, they should help you until you get back
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When it comes to finances, my guy's got me, bro.
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Like, I'm not going to ask a woman to help me with nothing, bro.
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Yeah, I'm not going to ask her to, listen, babe, your job is to worry about the household.
00:07:03.920
I'm not even going to let you know that we're having financial issues to that point.
00:07:07.380
Before it even gets to that point, I'm trying to...
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No, I'm going to be like, listen, this month might be a little hard, but I'm going to try
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As long as you communicate, because you can't keep your partner.
00:07:21.740
What, if the lights get switched off or the bailiffs at the door, you need to know at some
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No, no, I mean, what I'm saying is communication is important.
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Yeah, but I just think as women, like, sometimes we think we're...
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And this is a lesson I had to learn, but I think that we think we're entitled to information
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that men are just trying to fix it and not have us worry about it.
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I don't want you to think about it, too, because you're going to be stressed and your stress
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is going to stress me out and I'm going to be less able to sort it out.
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This time, it's just a little bit harder for me to just rub my back a little harder.
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You know, just give me an extra little bit of loving and, you know?
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You know, I was just banned on TikTok and we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform.
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