JustPearlyThings - April 06, 2023


Logical Woman REVEALS What's WRONG with Modern Women


Episode Stats


Length

8 minutes

Words per minute

197.7296

Word count

1,736

Sentence count

125

Harmful content

Misogyny

19

sentences flagged

Hate speech

8

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we discuss how to deal with anger in a relationship and how to manage it in order to be the best partner you can be. We also discuss the difference between women and men when it comes to dealing with anger.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 But I just want to say an observation that I've made in this conversation.
00:00:04.180 So the younger ladies have proven a point, which I don't know if anyone's noticed.
00:00:09.300 They looked for a problem.
00:00:11.260 They wound themselves up.
00:00:12.920 Aunty said she experienced a similar thing, but she didn't wind herself up.
00:00:17.780 She responded to the situation as the situation happened.
00:00:22.100 And she didn't go in there like, I'm going to do this.
00:00:24.640 I'm going to do that.
00:00:25.560 I didn't go looking for it, like you said.
00:00:27.160 Yeah, so the difference is, within the modern women, we're looking for the problem. 1.00
00:00:33.200 And when we amp ourselves up in the situation, we're actually reacting before we get to the point where we're with the man.
00:00:40.020 So we're already angry.
00:00:41.120 And because there's so much on social media and so much access to different women at the same time, we're literally winding ourselves up.
00:00:49.020 If you look for it, you're going to find it.
00:00:51.140 We know that.
00:00:52.360 And your response will be on that.
00:00:54.080 Yeah, exactly.
00:00:55.660 And that's what it does.
00:00:56.460 It shows your maturity level and your emotional management.
00:01:00.980 So, you know, like at work, if someone pisses you off, you know how to manage it.
00:01:05.980 You know you're not just going to flip out and start cussing because you don't want to lose your job.
00:01:09.880 That's your livelihood.
00:01:11.020 But in this situation, you haven't really calculated how you're going to manage the situation.
00:01:16.840 You've just reacted.
00:01:17.820 And I think as a younger woman, like in this generation, we're very reactionary to what's going on around us rather than, sorry, grounding ourselves first and then having like a clear fall and then responding.
00:01:33.840 You know, I think as you get older, you start to realise that though.
00:01:38.020 Like everyone's going to react.
00:01:39.260 It's a waste of energy.
00:01:41.180 It's literally a waste of energy.
00:01:42.840 I remember being like 14 and finding out, you know, someone's cheating and you would go absolutely mad at them and you'd cry and, you know, you'd get really angry.
00:01:50.820 And then as you get older, like you said, you'd realise you just, you know, if you're going to do it, fine, cool, I'll leave, you do whatever you want.
00:01:59.640 There's no point in wasting your energy when you're not going to get anything back from it anyway.
00:02:04.620 See, but I think women need to understand that. 1.00
00:02:07.020 And again, I'm not an advocate for it, but in most instances, men will be men.
00:02:11.560 So all this anger, all this blowing up, it doesn't, it doesn't affect no one but you.
00:02:16.180 Because like you said, women seem to think that by getting angry, the guy's going to change or he's going to see it differently. 0.92
00:02:24.400 He's probably still going to do the same thing, just probably better.
00:02:27.820 So it's like, it's like when, when the women come to the realisation that that's how they're built, you're built different. 0.99
00:02:33.960 Because, and this is what I was saying before, is that there's two lenses.
00:02:36.940 There's your lens and there's the male lens, but you're only seeing things through your lens.
00:02:40.300 So how you perceive sex is how you think men perceive sex and it's completely different.
00:02:45.080 And what I'd like to know is, after you found out and you went back, how was your behaviour towards him after that?
00:02:55.540 Do you know what I mean?
00:02:56.060 Would you trust him again or was you always watching him or was down his phone or always irritating him or was having a dig?
00:03:02.260 But I think that's the end of the relationship anyway.
00:03:04.260 I think a woman that goes back. 1.00
00:03:05.320 There's no point like going back.
00:03:07.080 So why do it then?
00:03:08.760 No, go ahead.
00:03:09.660 If there's no point, you know, there's no point, but you're continuing the relationship.
00:03:15.320 I think, I think women that stay, it's not because they want to continue. 0.92
00:03:18.700 I think it's the emotions of love and having to like grieve the relationship while they're there.
00:03:22.700 And I think eventually they get over it.
00:03:24.820 I don't think they go back wanting it.
00:03:27.080 It's the routine that they're in.
00:03:28.040 You don't want to, you don't want to get rid of the routine.
00:03:30.240 But then also you have women that will break up with guys in their head before they've broke up with them physically. 0.96
00:03:35.880 Exactly.
00:03:36.500 So then when you leave, it's not as heartbreaking.
00:03:38.480 But then a caveat to that is that, look, if we're going to go off the pretense that most men behave this way and the men that you're attracted to are in a small percentage of men who will do the same thing anyway.
00:03:48.600 Doesn't it make more sense to stay with the devil that you know than seek something else new outside?
00:03:54.480 Or you can be, allow yourself to feel those feelings.
00:04:00.540 A lot of women don't want to feel the pain. 1.00
00:04:03.520 If you allow yourself to feel that pain, then you can move through it and past it.
00:04:08.540 When you sit on it or you go back, you have it there.
00:04:12.000 Like you're waiting for something.
00:04:13.080 You're anticipating another cheat.
00:04:15.340 If you don't feel the pain, you're not going to feel happiness.
00:04:18.940 Yeah, you don't move through it.
00:04:20.840 And I think once a man cheats, especially with social media and all these things, we have these experiences and then we're anticipating something going wrong.
00:04:31.520 And then we kind of provoke it to happen.
00:04:34.080 If we don't work with it like together as a couple, then it's not going to work.
00:04:39.660 And there's no communication in that.
00:04:41.780 I think some women weigh up their risks and the rewards because I don't think, I always say that if your partner cheats on you, if you're going to stay, then you need to be staying to move forward. 0.99
00:04:54.160 I don't believe in staying with someone and every chance you get, you're bringing this up.
00:04:58.840 Why are you here?
00:04:59.780 Don't stay here to make my life miserable.
00:05:03.240 But I also think that there are women as well who weigh up the realities of life. 1.00
00:05:08.440 I feel like what a lot of people think about love, it's very fairytale.
00:05:13.700 It's very, it's wishful thinking.
00:05:16.160 But the realities of life is that I'm at this age, for example, we've been married, blah, blah, blah.
00:05:21.020 You've cheated.
00:05:21.640 This is the one time I've caught you cheating, blah, blah.
00:05:24.980 What am I going to lose if I walk away from this?
00:05:27.320 And what's really out there?
00:05:30.040 So I think some women have to, they just work through it. 1.00
00:05:33.980 They think that, you know, I can't bother to do all of this again.
00:05:36.760 I'm going to have to find somebody.
00:05:37.740 I'm going to have to be single, go for a divorce or break up.
00:05:40.340 And then I've spent this much time.
00:05:42.720 I've invested so much time in this relationship.
00:05:44.780 You know, let's just, let me forget, let's forgive it and let's move forward and do whatever it is that we need to do to come to an understanding that this can't happen again.
00:05:51.240 And I think, I don't, I don't see anything wrong with that.
00:05:54.300 I think that's.
00:05:54.820 But the thing is, if you listen to what they're saying, they actually stay and plan to leave.
00:06:01.620 Men just leave. 0.79
00:06:02.720 Women always stay and plan to leave. 1.00
00:06:05.100 That's why when men get divorced, they lose so much because the women have been planning it for a time. 0.99
00:06:10.200 There's very few times where they cheat and then you actually get past it and have a happy life.
00:06:14.980 I think people used to get past it all the time.
00:06:22.180 I think modern women can't because we've been sold a bill of goods that men can't live up to. 1.00
00:06:25.940 And we're told that he has to be taller than us, make money, like be basically Prince Charming and not cheat on you.
00:06:31.320 But it's like, if you want a guy on a certain level, he's probably going to cheat.
00:06:34.640 I think that women romanticize love too much. 1.00
00:06:40.400 Realistically, love is something that transforms every day when you're working on it.
00:06:44.360 And if you're not working on it with your partner, then it's not love.
00:06:48.360 If you're going to look at love as a romantic thing, so kind gestures every day, your man's going to be considerate to you every day.
00:06:54.740 It's going to be in your favor.
00:06:56.840 You have that mentality of entitlement just because you're in the relationship.
00:07:01.560 And I think from like my experience of observation, men get tired of that because what's the benefits to them?
00:07:08.800 You know, you want more no matter how much they give.
00:07:11.880 It's never enough.
00:07:12.720 And then once they've given the max capacity, they can go to somebody else who wants much less and is happy with that.
00:07:21.500 And they're not going to cause aggravation.
00:07:23.660 You find out about it and then you kick off.
00:07:26.160 So it kind of undoes all the work that's been put into the relationship on his side.
00:07:30.880 Then he loses everything.
00:07:33.420 And then like, what's the benefit?
00:07:35.600 That's why it should always be 50-50. 1.00
00:07:37.740 So the guy puts in the energy, you know, he's being considerate, fetching the flowers and stuff like that.
00:07:42.360 But then the girl... 1.00
00:07:42.880 No, listen, listen.
00:07:44.640 Some guys still do it.
00:07:45.780 But then like the girl needs to give the energy back as well. 1.00
00:07:47.880 It's about gratitude and reciprocation as well.
00:07:50.420 Do you think modern women deserve to be courted because we're not young and we're not pure anymore? 0.99
00:08:00.200 Yeah, I would say no, because we're not pure anymore.
00:08:03.520 What's pure?
00:08:06.040 It's all moving forward.
00:08:07.520 But I definitely think there should be some level of the basic respect from that today.
00:08:14.060 You know, it's not just like, oh, we'll text and then we'll meet up and then like we'll have sex and then that's kind of it.
00:08:20.420 You know, you should really get to know each other and make sure that you're both on the same level.
00:08:24.920 And if he makes the energy, you make the energy.
00:08:27.500 If he doesn't make the energy, just say, okay, I'll go make the energy with someone.
00:08:30.600 As many of you know, I was just banned on TikTok and we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform.
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