00:01:17.820And I think as a younger woman, like in this generation, we're very reactionary to what's going on around us rather than, sorry, grounding ourselves first and then having like a clear fall and then responding.
00:01:33.840You know, I think as you get older, you start to realise that though.
00:01:42.840I remember being like 14 and finding out, you know, someone's cheating and you would go absolutely mad at them and you'd cry and, you know, you'd get really angry.
00:01:50.820And then as you get older, like you said, you'd realise you just, you know, if you're going to do it, fine, cool, I'll leave, you do whatever you want.
00:01:59.640There's no point in wasting your energy when you're not going to get anything back from it anyway.
00:02:04.620See, but I think women need to understand that.
00:02:07.020And again, I'm not an advocate for it, but in most instances, men will be men.
00:02:11.560So all this anger, all this blowing up, it doesn't, it doesn't affect no one but you.
00:02:16.180Because like you said, women seem to think that by getting angry, the guy's going to change or he's going to see it differently.
00:02:24.400He's probably still going to do the same thing, just probably better.
00:02:27.820So it's like, it's like when, when the women come to the realisation that that's how they're built, you're built different.
00:02:33.960Because, and this is what I was saying before, is that there's two lenses.
00:02:36.940There's your lens and there's the male lens, but you're only seeing things through your lens.
00:02:40.300So how you perceive sex is how you think men perceive sex and it's completely different.
00:02:45.080And what I'd like to know is, after you found out and you went back, how was your behaviour towards him after that?
00:03:36.500So then when you leave, it's not as heartbreaking.
00:03:38.480But then a caveat to that is that, look, if we're going to go off the pretense that most men behave this way and the men that you're attracted to are in a small percentage of men who will do the same thing anyway.
00:03:48.600Doesn't it make more sense to stay with the devil that you know than seek something else new outside?
00:03:54.480Or you can be, allow yourself to feel those feelings.
00:04:00.540A lot of women don't want to feel the pain.
00:04:03.520If you allow yourself to feel that pain, then you can move through it and past it.
00:04:08.540When you sit on it or you go back, you have it there.
00:04:20.840And I think once a man cheats, especially with social media and all these things, we have these experiences and then we're anticipating something going wrong.
00:04:31.520And then we kind of provoke it to happen.
00:04:34.080If we don't work with it like together as a couple, then it's not going to work.
00:04:41.780I think some women weigh up their risks and the rewards because I don't think, I always say that if your partner cheats on you, if you're going to stay, then you need to be staying to move forward.
00:04:54.160I don't believe in staying with someone and every chance you get, you're bringing this up.
00:05:42.720I've invested so much time in this relationship.
00:05:44.780You know, let's just, let me forget, let's forgive it and let's move forward and do whatever it is that we need to do to come to an understanding that this can't happen again.
00:05:51.240And I think, I don't, I don't see anything wrong with that.