JustPearlyThings - July 06, 2023


Male Feminist Says The Weirdest Thing On The Show


Episode Stats


Length

8 minutes

Words per minute

198.67938

Word count

1,695

Sentence count

167

Harmful content

Misogyny

6

sentences flagged

Hate speech

3

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, I sit down with my sister to talk about our relationship with our parents and how we grew up with them. We talk about what it was like growing up with a Jamaican mother and father split up and how it affected us as children.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 Similar to, like, my parents' relationship growing up.
00:00:03.820 Like, I didn't even notice that they were even together.
00:00:05.840 That's how close me and my dad and my mum was at the same time.
00:00:09.300 Because my dad was always there.
00:00:12.980 Like, he was there.
00:00:13.960 And they wasn't together, but he was there.
00:00:16.520 You get it?
00:00:17.300 So, whatever me and my siblings needed, we would always have it.
00:00:20.880 We would never need, like, you know what I mean?
00:00:23.080 Until we got to a point where, obviously, you had to go to Jamaica and da-da-da. 1.00
00:00:26.620 But growing up, like, from, like, birth, growing up, my parents' both been in my life.
00:00:34.180 So, it was just like, all right, cool.
00:00:37.080 You know what I mean?
00:00:37.520 Most people don't get that.
00:00:38.940 That's the most important thing.
00:00:40.400 I feel that's what's important, the parents being in their lives, even though they're not together.
00:00:47.420 Because that's where we kind of get confused.
00:00:50.700 Like, oh, because we're not together, then it's just like, oh, we have to do a lot of arrangements, this, that.
00:00:55.740 Like, no, because we have a child.
00:00:58.520 And I don't see why you've got to do so much arrangements just because you guys are not together.
00:01:03.600 That's the only thing that's different.
00:01:05.500 Yeah, that's literally like my mum and dad as well.
00:01:07.580 Because my mum and dad broke up when I was, well, they got divorced, sorry, should I say, when I was four.
00:01:12.420 Obviously, my dad's always been there.
00:01:13.980 And even if we, like, go to parties, people still think my dad's my mum's husband.
00:01:17.360 They're like, no, no, no, I'm married again.
00:01:19.300 And all of them, they're like, what, you got married again?
00:01:20.760 Yeah, like, it's, that's how, like, tired they are.
00:01:23.500 They're good friends as well.
00:01:24.420 That's what family is.
00:01:26.660 Because even right now, my daughter's dad doesn't do as much as he's supposed to do.
00:01:31.660 And I have a lot of people behind me saying, oh, you should do this.
00:01:34.200 You should call CSI and this and that.
00:01:36.640 But I know I should.
00:01:38.540 But I choose.
00:01:39.320 Is it CSI or whatever?
00:01:40.320 Child support, child maintenance on him or whatever.
00:01:42.740 You won't get any support from that.
00:01:45.420 And all of these stuff.
00:01:47.440 And it's just like, I know I can, but I choose not to because it doesn't make sense to me.
00:01:53.000 I have a question.
00:01:54.280 Why did your parents separate if they got along?
00:01:57.100 My parents.
00:01:58.160 I was young, so I can't answer that.
00:02:00.620 What about yours?
00:02:01.640 My parents, they're two hotheads.
00:02:04.040 They're both Jamaican.
00:02:05.820 They're just hotheaded.
00:02:07.760 They can't be in the same room together.
00:02:10.740 Nowadays, they can speak on the phone.
00:02:13.420 They're like charges.
00:02:14.280 But back then, I think it's because like, more so like, it was like, I'm the first child in it.
00:02:26.260 So it was just like, cool.
00:02:27.780 And then they're both Jamaican as well.
00:02:29.540 So it's just like, hothead.
00:02:31.460 Like, you can't, I don't know how to explain it.
00:02:34.320 You can't put two, you can't.
00:02:36.700 Two alphas.
00:02:37.520 Yeah.
00:02:37.960 You can't put two alphas in one household.
00:02:39.780 Especially a Jamaican woman is a strong woman. 0.53
00:02:42.980 You get it.
00:02:43.540 Yeah, because my mom's a proud Jamaican woman. 1.00
00:02:45.220 I personally.
00:02:47.000 Were your moms feminine? 1.00
00:02:48.660 What'd you say?
00:02:49.860 My mom, my mom's.
00:02:51.820 No, no, no, no, no.
00:02:53.140 She, no, no. 0.98
00:02:53.980 My mom's, nah.
00:02:55.340 It's tough loving.
00:02:56.660 My mom's charging.
00:02:58.860 I think some people won't say a bad way.
00:03:03.180 I think that some people won't say a bad word about their mom.
00:03:06.100 So I appreciate you being on there.
00:03:07.240 My mom, my mom's like, like the charge you get.
00:03:10.380 Like my mom, me and my mom's like brother sister relationship.
00:03:12.440 It's not like a mom and son relationship.
00:03:14.860 It's not, you know what I mean?
00:03:16.040 So it's like, even, even in then, like my grandma, like that's my mom.
00:03:21.240 Obviously when she passed, then I found out my mom was my mom.
00:03:23.900 You get it.
00:03:24.680 So it was like, I grew up with my mom, knowing, knowing my mom as my sister.
00:03:28.060 So it's just continued to this day to be like, oh yeah, like that's my older sister or whatever.
00:03:33.040 Like that's how it is.
00:03:34.020 I agree.
00:03:34.740 She don't even allow me.
00:03:35.840 You thought your mom was your sister?
00:03:36.760 Yeah, I was, I was, like my mom's young and so I was told like.
00:03:40.440 Wait, what do you mean same?
00:03:41.620 Like I just assumed.
00:03:42.460 You guys had the same thing happen?
00:03:43.720 No, no, I'm guessing because she had you at a young age.
00:03:46.120 Yeah, at a young age.
00:03:47.200 So I also, I like, when she's going college and she's going uni, I'm there chilling with my grandma.
00:03:52.340 I'm assuming that my grandma's my mom.
00:03:53.920 And if she's coming back, I'm like, yo, what's up sis?
00:03:55.700 And all of that stuff.
00:03:56.480 You get, it took until my grandma passed away for me to deep and say, rah, that's not my mom.
00:04:02.340 That's my, you get, my grandma, whatever.
00:04:04.880 But it's more so like, it's more so like, even, even just that, like my mom, I can't call my mom, mom in public.
00:04:15.640 Like it's not, I can't call her, I can call her mom in public.
00:04:17.980 But it's like, she preferred me not to call her mom in public only because she's a young parent.
00:04:22.620 And because I'm so, I'm like the oldest child.
00:04:24.400 How old was she? 0.89
00:04:25.580 Like she, my mom was 17 when she had me.
00:04:28.620 So it was like, my mom looks young.
00:04:32.200 So when you see us both beside each other, I look like I'm her man.
00:04:36.340 Does that make sense?
00:04:37.420 So it was like, she don't want her grown ass boy to be calling her mom in public.
00:04:43.680 So it's just like, I have to call her by first name or whatever.
00:04:46.080 Just out of respect to you.
00:04:47.040 So it's just like, my mom's like more brother-sisterly love.
00:04:51.580 It's not like a mom.
00:04:52.440 Was your grandpa there then?
00:04:54.040 Yeah, my grandma, my granddad's always been there.
00:04:55.860 My granddad's always been there.
00:04:56.700 So how, how was that?
00:04:58.240 Like, how did that affect you growing up?
00:05:00.680 Being raised by like your grandparents as opposed to your mom?
00:05:03.080 Well, it was, it was not even that.
00:05:05.940 We're all in the same, we was all in the same household.
00:05:08.220 Okay, so it wasn't.
00:05:09.100 So it wasn't really that.
00:05:11.240 It was just like more so, I, I went on this dark thing where,
00:05:17.040 I was a good kid up until my grandma died.
00:05:19.380 And then I just started going to school, like bugging out,
00:05:22.820 like fighting people every day and all of that.
00:05:24.620 I get kicked out of like six different schools.
00:05:27.020 You get kicked out of six different schools?
00:05:29.440 Yeah, like excluded, like excluded from six different schools.
00:05:32.380 And it's not even just that, like I was like leaning more into like,
00:05:36.580 into like the area because I grew up in Brixton.
00:05:38.820 So in Brixton, Brixton is like different from everywhere else.
00:05:43.520 Like South London in general is just different.
00:05:46.140 So it was just like,
00:05:47.500 I was getting caught up in all of that politics and stuff like that.
00:05:50.700 But it was mostly because I lost my grandma, man.
00:05:53.040 And that was my mom.
00:05:53.980 So it was like, I'm young and I'm thinking.
00:05:56.400 Expressing yourself.
00:05:57.420 You get it.
00:05:58.220 That's how I'm like referring myself.
00:06:00.400 And then it got to a point where I got kicked out of my last school
00:06:03.240 and to my parents, I was like, right, you're going to Jamaica.
00:06:06.220 That's it now.
00:06:07.400 That's it now.
00:06:08.480 You're going to have to grow up in Jamaica 1.00
00:06:09.940 because we can't deal with you
00:06:12.280 and we can't have you being, you know, bad and doing all that stuff.
00:06:16.100 So like, obviously, gone there now, grew up,
00:06:20.000 seen a whole different life.
00:06:21.660 Like I've seen people the same age as me
00:06:23.720 and I've seen the stuff, the struggles in Jamaica
00:06:26.420 and just seeing it, like physically seeing it with your own eyes.
00:06:31.240 It gives you a whole different perspective on life
00:06:33.640 because it really, like, I think how lucky
00:06:36.160 and how, like, grateful I am to be, like, born in the UK
00:06:41.820 to just even have a red passport.
00:06:45.300 Do you get what I mean?
00:06:45.860 Because in Jamaica, it's hard.
00:06:48.260 Very hard.
00:06:48.640 It's so hard to make money.
00:06:50.200 It's so hard to make money, number one.
00:06:52.020 It's so hard to even get a visa.
00:06:53.660 That's why it's a whole stereotype of Jamaican men getting with,
00:06:56.400 you know, English women to get green cards to come over here 1.00
00:07:00.720 because it's so hard to even get over here.
00:07:02.440 People have to work and get $20,000, which is like the equivalent.
00:07:06.440 500 pounds.
00:07:07.140 Yeah, like 500 pounds.
00:07:08.020 Literally, they get paid 500 pounds a month
00:07:09.920 and imagine every week they only get probably, what, 150 pounds
00:07:13.860 and they think that's a lot of money.
00:07:14.840 But when we tell them what we get paid a month,
00:07:16.680 they're like, oh, you're rich, man, you're rich, man.
00:07:18.740 And that's why they think we're rich.
00:07:20.500 Do you know what I mean?
00:07:21.900 5,000 pounds over there is a million dollars.
00:07:25.960 Yeah.
00:07:26.380 Do you get it?
00:07:27.380 That's their thing.
00:07:28.180 So where they're working hard, they're working for weeks,
00:07:30.100 to get $20,000 to try to get a visa and apply for the visa.
00:07:34.920 And if the visa doesn't get approved, they don't get back that money.
00:07:38.920 That money gets taken.
00:07:40.100 You get it.
00:07:40.940 So the fact that I have the best of both worlds where I can go there
00:07:45.100 and I can come back, I'm grateful.
00:07:48.360 So me seeing that, me seeing that, me going to school,
00:07:51.900 me experiencing everybody there made me deep, everything in life.
00:07:56.400 You get what I mean?
00:07:56.960 And that's why I never look, I never look down on anyone.
00:07:59.920 I never look down on anyone.
00:08:02.260 It's appreciated.
00:08:02.840 The fact is that they'll do to follow me,
00:08:04.560 and I have to point out, of course,
00:08:05.560 hobbies, Year.
00:08:07.740 All right.
00:08:09.600 Thank you.
00:08:10.000 Thanks for taking care about me today.
00:08:11.680 We'll see you next time.
00:08:15.820 Bye.
00:08:16.180 We'll see you next time.
00:08:20.640 Bye.
00:08:21.660 Bye, bye.
00:08:22.240 Bye.
00:08:23.820 Bye.
00:08:24.440 Bye.
00:08:25.280 Bye.
00:08:28.140 Bye.
00:08:28.840 Bye.
00:08:29.660 Bye.
00:08:29.980 Bye.
00:08:31.320 Bye.