JustPearlyThings - June 12, 2023


Man Hating Feminist Avoids Accountability

Hosted by
Hannah Pearl Davis
Mentioned
Blessing
He DESTROYED Her With One TRUTH This Is Why Modern Men Are Weak

Episode Stats


Length

10 minutes

Words per minute

211.99

Word count

2,210

Sentence count

245

Harmful content

Misogyny

14

sentences flagged

Toxicity

9

sentences flagged

Hate speech

7

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we have our first guest on the show, Blessing. She is a Zimbabwean born and raised in Zimbabwe. She talks about the trauma of being kicked out of her father's home at the age of 17 and how she dealt with it. She also talks about her relationship with her own father and how he handled the situation.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 I think Blessing joined the show because you said something about Zim culture you're not a fan of. 1.00
00:00:05.640 I'm against Zim culture. 1.00
00:00:06.500 So what do you not like about Zim culture? 1.00
00:00:08.120 You're going to have them coming for my neck. 0.99
00:00:11.220 This is about to get heated.
00:00:13.800 Did you marry a Zimbabwean?
00:00:15.360 No, I would never date or marry a Zimbabwean and I've never dated a Zimbabwean man. 0.83
00:00:20.440 I never will look at one.
00:00:22.160 Why?
00:00:23.800 They're just...
00:00:25.520 Yeah, why?
00:00:26.840 I'll just leave it there.
00:00:27.800 Let me not say anything to me.
00:00:28.840 They say if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all, right?
00:00:32.640 Is that because of an ex or?
00:00:34.500 No, I don't really want to put my past too much into this, but it's just the way I was raised.
00:00:41.380 You know, my father is obviously Zimbabwean and the things I went through.
00:00:44.480 So you don't marry your dad?
00:00:45.640 To a certain extent.
00:00:47.440 But I love him now.
00:00:49.760 Why now?
00:00:51.400 Because I feel like he's paying for everything he's done to me. 0.99
00:00:55.900 Oh, damn. 0.99
00:00:56.980 Hmm. 1.00
00:00:57.300 What did he do?
00:01:00.660 Well, when I was young, well, not too young.
00:01:03.960 When I was like 17 years old, he did throw me out.
00:01:07.720 And that really hurt.
00:01:09.940 He threw me out because of his wife.
00:01:12.960 That's not my mom. 1.00
00:01:14.460 Mm-hmm.
00:01:14.720 And I was going through so much trauma.
00:01:17.720 I was very suicidal in that time.
00:01:20.940 And I felt like I was shut out.
00:01:23.820 Mm-hmm.
00:01:24.680 And...
00:01:25.280 What caused you to get thrown out?
00:01:27.240 Like, was it a fight?
00:01:28.180 It was a petty fight that his partner caused me to get thrown out.
00:01:36.280 And you had no part to play in the fight.
00:01:38.920 I did say something that was wrong.
00:01:41.220 Okay.
00:01:41.840 Now that I look back.
00:01:43.840 Because I was trying to find out about my mom.
00:01:45.840 You know?
00:01:46.260 Mm-hmm.
00:01:46.540 I used to ask him about my mom.
00:01:47.840 Oh, tell me about my mom.
00:01:49.280 And he was just saying, you know, she left you.
00:01:51.700 Mm-hmm.
00:01:51.920 And that didn't sit right with me because the fight with my mom's family was telling me different, you know?
00:01:58.540 So I just wanted to know from him, like, you're my father.
00:02:01.600 Tell me about her.
00:02:03.300 And that day, even though he was so angry at me, I'm not going to explain everything that happened in the moment, but he was so angry to the point where I said, you're trying to kick me out just like he did to my mom.
00:02:15.760 And that's what made him really get extremely angry.
00:02:20.580 And I was not wrong.
00:02:22.400 I was right.
00:02:24.000 Yeah, but the way you tell the story, you act like it was all him and nothing, like you didn't do anything.
00:02:29.220 And this process, I feel like I blame myself.
00:02:32.360 Like, yeah, you have a part to play.
00:02:34.120 Yeah.
00:02:34.640 Like everyone does.
00:02:35.400 I should have never said anything to him.
00:02:37.100 Mm-hmm.
00:02:38.360 But it was time for me to say something because that whole, you know, mental abuse from his wife and him, it got too much.
00:02:46.900 What's like mental abuse?
00:02:48.180 I'm not going to explain exactly everything because I don't need to say that, you know, but there's certain things that they have put me through, even from when I was younger.
00:02:58.920 Well, it's just like mental abuse.
00:02:59.880 That's like a pretty severe accusation.
00:03:01.980 No, it was.
00:03:02.180 It was.
00:03:02.900 It was really bad.
00:03:03.940 But I don't want to state it because I know if certain people see this, they don't want to like that.
00:03:08.340 Mm-hmm.
00:03:08.920 So I'll just leave it.
00:03:09.640 And so because he kicked you out at 17 in a fight that you guys like both had a part to play in, which you admit now, right?
00:03:16.760 She created it.
00:03:18.220 You said you shouldn't have said anything, right?
00:03:20.560 I shouldn't have said anything to him.
00:03:22.960 I should have just kept it directly to her because she was the one that had an issue with me.
00:03:27.700 The whole time.
00:03:29.840 Mm-hmm.
00:03:30.520 But because he acted out of anger based on whatever he told him in that moment, he was angry at me.
00:03:37.080 And I was also angry.
00:03:38.000 I had the right to say whatever I say, you know?
00:03:40.620 I'm only human.
00:03:42.160 You think you have the right to say anything because you're angry?
00:03:45.160 I mean, I didn't swear at him.
00:03:47.620 Yeah.
00:03:47.820 I was only being right.
00:03:48.320 But you know that's disrespectful.
00:03:50.100 My point is that...
00:03:50.600 Yeah, but if someone is shoving you out the house and throwing your things out the window, what are you going to do?
00:03:55.480 Mm-hmm.
00:03:56.600 What are you...
00:03:57.300 Everything...
00:03:57.660 Yeah, you're not going to stand there.
00:03:58.640 You're not going to stand there.
00:03:59.720 You're not.
00:04:00.220 Everything just kind of came to me like, wow.
00:04:02.820 So the way you threw my mom out is exactly the same way you're doing to me.
00:04:06.620 Wait, did this happen here or in Zimbabwe?
00:04:08.940 In the UK.
00:04:10.960 What, with her?
00:04:12.120 Yeah, with her, yeah.
00:04:12.980 In the UK.
00:04:14.060 But why is it like a Zim culture's fault if it's just your situation? 1.00
00:04:18.120 Because all the men in my family are trash. 1.00
00:04:24.280 Yeah. 1.00
00:04:24.840 All of them.
00:04:25.400 But I think it's as well that she's been through a lot when it comes to the men in her family.
00:04:31.260 So it's just made her think that way.
00:04:35.160 No, I mean, I know great victims that don't view men a certain way.
00:04:40.000 You can go through things.
00:04:41.040 That's like saying if one guy got cheated on by a woman and saying all women cheat. 0.75
00:04:44.480 So it's like you're throwing out an entire culture.
00:04:47.660 I mean, certain people I've come across are so, I'm Zimbabwe and have really tried to torment my life.
00:04:56.120 For me, it sounds like, if you're the common denominator, it sounds like a respect issue.
00:05:01.820 Because at 17, I've got siblings who are Zimbabwe and I know like a Zim household is built on respect, respecting the elders and respecting the parents.
00:05:11.520 Would you say in that situation you were respectful to your parents?
00:05:14.680 How can I not say anything?
00:05:18.300 So you wanted me to keep shutting myself out, keep taking pills to do SA on myself, like literally to commit suicide.
00:05:26.020 You wanted me to carry on doing that instead of me speaking out.
00:05:28.780 That was the first time I've ever spoken out to my dad.
00:05:31.080 Yeah, but what did she do that was like insanely bad?
00:05:33.980 She was angry.
00:05:34.780 She was going through her own personal issues.
00:05:36.840 Obviously, she's got whatever she needs to take to help her out with her mental health. 0.59
00:05:40.440 I understand that now, but back then they never told me that.
00:05:43.900 They never told me that she had an issue with her mental health.
00:05:46.700 And that's the reason why she used to treat me really badly. 1.00
00:05:49.560 You know, there's been so many things that's happened between me and her to the point where she even warned me that.
00:05:54.360 She wanted to get rid of me. 1.00
00:05:55.880 She told me to my parents.
00:05:56.840 From how old did your dad have like a bring her in?
00:06:01.760 I think from like 15.
00:06:03.400 Was it 15 when I left Slough?
00:06:06.700 No.
00:06:07.420 Yeah, 10.
00:06:09.200 Yeah, 15.
00:06:10.040 Do you not think it's like a teenage kind of like just teenage emotions?
00:06:15.300 Because it sounds to me like you're just lashing out like, you know, my mom and she was just not having that.
00:06:20.480 My mother was dead from when I was 10 years old.
00:06:22.440 So that's got nothing to do with my mother.
00:06:24.780 That's a stepmother. 1.00
00:06:26.100 Yeah, I know it's a stepmother, but when she's coming into a role of like literally becoming like a mother in the house. 1.00
00:06:31.560 She never treated me like her daughter.
00:06:33.120 She told me, you're not my daughter.
00:06:35.100 I never call me mom. 1.00
00:06:38.140 Oh, damn. 0.99
00:06:38.560 And I tried to buy her love because I never really had love from any of the women that were in my father's life. 0.99
00:06:44.140 I would do the most.
00:06:45.980 I'll buy gifts.
00:06:46.980 I'll cook this.
00:06:47.880 I'll clean this.
00:06:48.740 Do you know what I mean?
00:06:49.460 What was your relationship with your dad before that?
00:06:51.560 It was amazing.
00:06:52.240 So why didn't you find like, like you could communicate with him?
00:06:56.820 Why didn't you not do that?
00:06:58.060 Straight away.
00:06:58.720 Because of her.
00:06:59.980 I don't know what happened.
00:07:00.800 But it's like what I hear is I had no part to play in it.
00:07:04.040 And it's sort of like a victim mentality.
00:07:05.960 It's like they did everything wrong.
00:07:07.500 I did nothing wrong.
00:07:08.840 But that's the part though.
00:07:10.840 They did do wrong to me.
00:07:12.280 They might have done wrong.
00:07:13.420 But I just think in most situations, like you can look back and say I had a part to play.
00:07:17.800 What part did I play when I was younger than them and they're grown adults?
00:07:20.420 I mean, I can, you know, I'll use myself.
00:07:22.780 I know what you're trying to do.
00:07:24.460 You ain't going to do that to me.
00:07:26.700 No, I'm just nervous.
00:07:28.280 I'm saying when I was a kid, like I did things, I absolutely did things that contributed.
00:07:32.940 To say that you have no accountability just because you're underage.
00:07:36.080 Like that's the silliest thing I've ever heard.
00:07:37.640 I absolutely did things that contributed to fights with my parents.
00:07:40.860 Okay.
00:07:41.600 For example, let's say you come back from college, right?
00:07:44.620 You've had a long day.
00:07:46.060 Oh, Taffy cooked this.
00:07:47.020 Okay, fine.
00:07:47.620 I'll cook it.
00:07:48.480 Oh, clean this.
00:07:49.180 I'll cook it.
00:07:49.760 I'll clean it.
00:07:50.180 I do whatever the hell she's telling me to do, right?
00:07:52.780 Just one thing I forgot to do.
00:07:55.260 Bear in mind, I've got work to do as well.
00:07:56.700 I've got homework to do.
00:07:57.760 I've done everything she said I need to do.
00:07:59.360 Oh, but you forgot to do this.
00:08:00.660 Yeah, but that's just typical.
00:08:01.660 That's just typical.
00:08:02.340 Yeah, but what she would do, she would not create the issue from that, yeah?
00:08:05.800 She would go to my dad like, oh, can you imagine she never did this?
00:08:08.420 And she would purposely mess up the yard, mess up the house and make it seem like I didn't do anything. 0.98
00:08:14.480 That's what I was thinking, like, raw, that's a bit weird.
00:08:17.800 Now, that's crazy.
00:08:18.620 That is weird.
00:08:19.140 And the part when she thought I was dressing up in a specific way for my father, because she was saying to me, I was dressing up for my father.
00:08:26.780 That's why I was like, no, there's something wrong with her. 0.99
00:08:28.840 But my dad never told me, like, oh, she's got a mental issue.
00:08:33.880 But if he did, I probably would have understood, like, okay, you know what?
00:08:36.200 Maybe let me be a bit more sensitive.
00:08:37.600 Let me not feel some type of way when she does certain things.
00:08:40.880 But because he never did, and other times she touched me, you know, beating me and all that stuff, police calling and everything.
00:08:48.800 That wouldn't have happened if there was certain things put in place for her not to even react like that towards me. 0.95
00:08:55.820 Because I don't understand why the anger was so much towards me.
00:08:59.320 Yeah, this story just seems very crazy.
00:09:02.220 Like, it's like, so she was messing up the yard and then yelling at you about.
00:09:06.340 It was really, like, it was so bad to the point where I started feeling like, you know, when you get to a point where you say, you know what, I'm done.
00:09:12.140 And then you're like taking pills because you're like, I've had enough.
00:09:15.520 And the person is telling you, I'm going to, I'm going to do something to you.
00:09:18.900 Like, they're telling you certain things.
00:09:19.820 I'm not going to say what it is, but.
00:09:21.560 And then you're there, standing in the church, you're praising God.
00:09:23.940 And the person is looking at you, giving you like dirty looks.
00:09:26.500 I didn't feel comfortable anywhere I went except college, literally, and school.
00:09:30.960 Mm-hmm.
00:09:32.500 Literally.
00:09:33.900 So I, bro, I.
00:09:35.840 You know, when your dad brought it over, do you guys have like a meeting?
00:09:39.540 Like, oh, I'm going to bring this woman over. 1.00
00:09:41.780 It's going to pretty much become like a mother in the house. 0.80
00:09:44.060 Was there ever like that discussion?
00:09:45.560 Yeah, he told me that he's seeing someone and everything.
00:09:48.120 And I was really excited.
00:09:49.060 And when she first came, I was so happy.
00:09:50.680 I was like, oh my God, I finally have a mom now.
00:09:53.120 Yeah, how did that first like encounter her?
00:09:55.340 Like, how was that?
00:09:56.660 For me, I was happy because I felt like I'm going to have a mom.
00:09:59.680 I'm going to have a mom because obviously my mom's sister, obviously, broke up with my dad. 1.00
00:10:04.080 But I was like, okay, at least now I have someone that I can go to, you know,
00:10:07.980 because there's certain things that was happening to me when I was growing up,
00:10:10.080 you know, the feminine stuff. 1.00
00:10:11.720 I can't talk to my dad about it.
00:10:13.700 So I was happy that she was coming into the picture.
00:10:16.220 You know, I really loved her.
00:10:17.140 And when I found out she had kids and stuff like that, I was like, oh my God, this is really nice.
00:10:20.180 Did you guys live with the kids as well, her kids?
00:10:21.940 No, her kids aren't back home.
00:10:23.740 All right.