JustPearlyThings - July 06, 2023


Man Narrates His Experience In The Divorce Courts


Episode Stats

Length

8 minutes

Words per Minute

172.7872

Word Count

1,468

Sentence Count

1


Summary


Transcript

00:00:00.000 how was um how was the divorce process for you was it so my my divorce happened during
00:00:07.600 pandemic and if you see in your stats uh majority is either two ways it went more babies or more
00:00:15.200 divorces oh it's true it's like an eye opener when you're at the epidemic anyway um so that happened
00:00:23.840 and it was it was tough it was it was tough i'm gonna lie she file the only way we so we've got
00:00:32.640 a daughter and um when it comes to uh our daughter we think on the same wavelength but when it comes
00:00:38.480 to us it was never meant to be so um we just she filed for divorce because if you're on benefits
00:00:47.520 it's it's you have to pay as much and but i did the whole solicitor thing and we had to agree on a lot
00:00:55.040 of stuff i know people that if you don't agree on it that's where the process gets more thank you yeah
00:01:01.520 so so it wasn't so bad for you no i i'm i don't know man i'm blessed i got like an angel on my
00:01:06.960 shoulder from life i'm just i don't know so that situation went okay even though i don't even know
00:01:15.360 she's probably watching i didn't want to say but it's it's weird it's with her and probably with a
00:01:24.000 lot of i shouldn't say but females uh it goes back to you know daddy issues the way you
00:01:34.640 and so if it's like that princess mentality you you feel that you you're old and you don't want to
00:01:45.600 work for things and and you know the the father figure looks out for you and does all that stuff
00:01:50.320 so that's kind of where she saw me in that situation where i thought that when i first came into the
00:01:57.280 relationship um it was good but um uh maybe about maybe two months into it she fell pregnant and
00:02:07.920 that's kind of for me i did what my upbringing was was to be the better man and stick stick with it
00:02:13.600 but i saw so many red flags it was crazy but i just just i just stuck at it and she's always had those
00:02:21.760 red flags and she doesn't think that she does so everyone knows this is the problem not her it took
00:02:28.240 a long while man we went through therapy and stuff and it's just i think she still doesn't get it
00:02:35.120 still doesn't get it's very a young mentality a childlike mentality
00:02:42.800 but to a point that where her boyfriend now
00:02:46.080 is someone who's a who is a boy who still lives at home with his mom she's almost in her 40s
00:02:51.760 wow right i'm dating i'm dating the woman that's got her together i got my together we're working
00:02:57.600 together and we're you know we're making it work but you can't sometimes probably offended a few
00:03:05.360 she took a oh yeah she took a no bro but i'm yeah well thank you well that's the thing i
00:03:11.600 it was a bad situation it flipped i'm i'm in the happiest place i'm you know i'm here i'm here on
00:03:17.920 this show i'm here with you i'm happy to be here and stuff so but yeah it sounds like you got out
00:03:24.240 easy relatively yeah i am actually speaking to another friend of mine who's going through
00:03:29.520 pretty bad situation with his soon to be ex-wife obviously they're separated but again he's telling
00:03:37.840 me the same things that i'm hearing like even though they were separated just to he wanted her she didn't
00:03:45.680 want him he's like well if you're not being serious i i just i don't want to be even in the
00:03:51.120 same bed of you i'm going to sleep on the couch i'm like oh my god i went through shit like that
00:03:54.720 that's nuts and child mentality she always thinks everyone everybody else is wrong not him
00:04:02.080 i mean not her and i was like i've been there i've been through that why do you think um feminism
00:04:07.520 has convinced women that they'll be better on the other side of divorce especially after children
00:04:12.240 so they could so they can bag some money so they can they're gonna have i guess
00:04:22.080 some of the power that the man may the man may have had beforehand oh so they can get money out of
00:04:28.000 it oh big time but you know child support yeah what's the consequence if you leave if you can just
00:04:33.280 put them on child support exactly that's that's that's you raised your hand did you have something
00:04:39.520 to say um i forgot what i was gonna say no worries if not but um no it's just the whole divorce and
00:04:47.840 separation it's just the whole um actually i had a question for you because you said you had so many
00:04:53.840 red flags but you still continued what made you for the sake of my daughter but before what before
00:05:01.280 had because the reason i'm asking you because when i got married um i saw red flags as well myself
00:05:07.840 but i chose not to i chose to avoid it so i just wanted to know um you saw the red flags but what made
00:05:14.800 you still go ahead because i saw the red flags before getting married but the fact that i was pregnant
00:05:21.120 as well it was the thought of doing the right thing but then you've ended up continuing but going
00:05:27.600 back to the beginning where you could have avoided so many it's true i say that it's kind of like
00:05:34.960 that time travel thing if would i go back in time and change things or would i still have my daughter
00:05:40.160 now i wouldn't change the world i wouldn't change a thing for my dad for my daughter so i did you know
00:05:47.200 my in my in my family my mom and dad got divorced and separated my dad cheating i just knew i didn't want
00:05:53.200 to go down that route of what he did so i i was the better man and i stuck at it yes i saw red flags but
00:05:59.440 i knew my daughter's in the picture so i just i just carried on but we weren't married but we were
00:06:05.040 together but it's i even went that further down the line maybe i don't know six years down the line
00:06:11.840 then we got married oh wow and it still went wrong so i put everything on the table for her to try and make
00:06:18.160 it work and it still didn't work so that's why remember when pandemic came i was like okay this
00:06:23.440 is the real deal i can't i can't do this anymore i'm out i'm out but if you're to answer your question
00:06:29.280 it's solely for my daughter simple blood i think men are much more willing to stick it out for the
00:06:36.560 kids than women are typically they are i agree which which is weird because you would think like women
00:06:41.680 like it's always the narrative that women are like closer to the kids so it's weird that like men seem to
00:06:46.160 stick it out more yeah go ahead i think um men always have the the nature to love for their
00:06:54.640 children i think every man loves their children regardless however us female can um i don't know
00:07:02.000 if it's intentionally or not but can make a man no matter how much they feel or love their children
00:07:09.600 they can make them not want to be around or exist and i think that's where the problem is
00:07:16.240 not whether the man loves their child or whatever because every man that i've spoken to because i've
00:07:22.000 got a lot of male friends who's got children and has experienced something similar to him and as a
00:07:27.600 woman who's experienced the same thing but i'm a woman so it's like i have more support they don't men
00:07:34.480 don't have men don't have that this way men don't have that support but they're just seen as the bad
00:07:43.600 person oh where's he gone oh he's not doing nothing he's not doing that but they never focus on okay why
00:07:50.080 isn't he doing anything because i believe that there's no man who's given birth to a child on earth
00:07:56.000 that doesn't love their children that's that's just how i feel but it's just harder for them to
00:08:01.360 they're not supported to deal with their emotions or regulate their emotions so sometimes when they're
00:08:06.160 trying to communicate or express their feelings they're seen as being angry or being aggressive
00:08:14.480 so for them they feel the best thing for them to do is not be around which i feel it's very sad but yeah