JustPearlyThings - November 02, 2023


Man SHOCKS The Panel With This Fact


Episode Stats


Length

10 minutes

Words per minute

200.02644

Word count

2,017

Sentence count

232

Harmful content

Misogyny

30

sentences flagged

Hate speech

8

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode we talk about domestic abuse and how to deal with it in the dating world. We have a special guest on the show today who has been through the ringer of abuse in her past and how she deals with it.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 Never, ever, ever date a woman 1.00
00:00:01.380 that says she has an abusive ex-boyfriend 1.00
00:00:03.260 because you will be the next one.
00:00:05.080 You will be the next one that she calls abusive.
00:00:08.340 Swear to God, do not do it.
00:00:09.500 I don't know if it's her, but I'm saying don't ever do it.
00:00:11.900 This has just happened to a guy friend that I know.
00:00:16.400 Literally, this chick, oh, my ex was abusive. 1.00
00:00:19.340 Okay, you know who she's calling abusive next?
00:00:23.600 Him.
00:00:24.160 Okay, well, I've dated two guys after him
00:00:26.280 and I didn't call him abusive.
00:00:27.440 I just said, what did I start it by?
00:00:29.620 What did I start it by?
00:00:30.640 Not about you.
00:00:31.380 No, no, no.
00:00:32.080 It's really interesting that you say that
00:00:33.420 because, you know what, like, I really recommend therapy
00:00:35.880 and I really recommend being single until you are healed
00:00:39.200 because a lot of these women that leave abusive relationships 1.00
00:00:41.800 hop right into the next one and they don't even fix themselves.
00:00:45.000 And so they fuck up the next guy.
00:00:46.700 We're right there waiting for them.
00:00:47.880 No, it's not even that.
00:00:49.140 What do you consider abusive?
00:00:50.480 Is it just hitting you?
00:00:51.340 Do you want to see my jaw and how it comes unhinged?
00:00:53.880 Okay, so someone hits you, okay.
00:00:55.360 I got my face shot.
00:00:56.500 What color was he?
00:00:57.200 Wait, so actually, I have a question.
00:00:58.340 So both of you are abused.
00:00:59.760 Why?
00:01:00.960 Excuse me?
00:01:01.580 Why did that happen?
00:01:02.460 Because he was taking drugs.
00:01:04.900 You shouldn't be around drug addicts.
00:01:06.260 I didn't know he was taking drugs.
00:01:07.940 And when I found out he was taking drugs,
00:01:09.440 he broke my phone every time I tried to leave.
00:01:11.240 So I just, so you guys were these, like, perfect angels
00:01:14.240 being amazing and perfect.
00:01:16.280 I never said I was perfect.
00:01:17.540 Did you just, okay, I'm still at, at 16, you were this perfect angel that did nothing wrong?
00:01:22.320 Oh, yeah, three-season sport athlete.
00:01:24.060 Okay, who cares?
00:01:25.380 Yeah.
00:01:26.140 Who cares?
00:01:27.220 Did you ever hit the man?
00:01:28.260 I had my shit together.
00:01:29.380 I had my shit together.
00:01:30.160 It doesn't matter.
00:01:31.200 I'm asking, I'm asking you were this.
00:01:32.780 And I'm answering yes.
00:01:33.160 I'm asking, wait, wait.
00:01:33.840 She had a 40% free throw range.
00:01:36.260 Yeah.
00:01:37.240 Absolutely.
00:01:37.680 It doesn't matter.
00:01:39.700 The girl that I know, I'm thinking of, she was an athlete too.
00:01:43.400 Who cares?
00:01:43.920 Okay, so you were this perfect angel, did nothing at all?
00:01:47.820 Okay.
00:01:48.120 They weren't fighters.
00:01:49.620 You've got to hit him back, right?
00:01:51.380 If he hits you, you tase him.
00:01:53.200 You take it one step higher.
00:01:55.360 There's still submissive females out there, just so you know. 1.00
00:01:58.880 Is she just a good girl that just got abused? 1.00
00:02:01.540 All right, listen, it doesn't start with a punch in the face.
00:02:03.880 It's not like, oh, honey, can I take you out on our first date?
00:02:06.480 And we're going to go out, and then you get a punch in the face.
00:02:08.540 It is gradual.
00:02:09.900 It's Machiavellian.
00:02:11.220 You have tiny, little cuts that happen, little words that, you know,
00:02:16.160 he'll say something really shitty.
00:02:18.080 And you go, oh, I didn't like that.
00:02:20.400 And he'll love vomit and tell you he's sorry.
00:02:22.540 And progressively, over months, it gets worse and worse
00:02:25.040 until it leads up to the punch in the face.
00:02:26.620 And for some women, it leads up to them dying. 1.00
00:02:28.680 So it isn't as simple.
00:02:30.800 It happens slowly, and you become psychologically conditioned to it.
00:02:35.580 I can agree to that.
00:02:37.480 But my whole thing is women are verbally abusive, too. 1.00
00:02:42.500 And I find it very rare.
00:02:44.300 I find it very rare.
00:02:45.440 Most women that say that claim abuse are pretty argumentative. 1.00
00:02:50.760 And I find it very rare that they just did nothing
00:02:54.280 and were perfect angels that were just hit.
00:02:56.860 I find that very...
00:02:57.940 There is an anomaly of that, but I would agree you are somewhat right about that.
00:03:02.360 But there is an anomaly of that.
00:03:03.180 And women, and I've interviewed women that work in abuse shelters, 0.97
00:03:07.140 and they'll say the same thing.
00:03:08.660 Women love to play the victim and never talk about their part, ever. 1.00
00:03:12.520 You know, in Russia, President Putin actually allowed domestic violence.
00:03:19.080 It's not illegal anymore.
00:03:20.380 That's true.
00:03:20.900 And the divorce rate went way down after that.
00:03:25.940 That's all I'm saying.
00:03:27.020 Yeah, but is that necessarily a good thing if women are getting smacked around? 1.00
00:03:30.020 Okay, but I'll tell you.
00:03:31.460 I'll tell you.
00:03:32.040 I'll actually break this down.
00:03:33.600 I'll tell you the problem with abuse.
00:03:36.620 So one thing is you actually don't need any evidence to file a restraining order
00:03:40.760 against anyone because you go to family court.
00:03:42.940 Family court is not based on evidence.
00:03:44.580 It's based on a balance of probabilities.
00:03:46.080 Meaning if you cry to a judge, you can get a restraining order.
00:03:50.280 Second thing, and same with an abuse, and same with claiming that a guy abused you
00:03:55.140 like in divorce court, child custody court.
00:03:57.580 Second problem you get is that they've expanded the definition of abuse.
00:04:01.460 So abuse used to just be a man hitting a woman, but they've expanded it,
00:04:04.900 and it added an emotional abuse, financial abuse.
00:04:07.940 Yeah, and that's the problem.
00:04:09.220 What feminists do first. 1.00
00:04:10.060 What is financial?
00:04:12.160 Yeah, you said something I don't like.
00:04:15.320 It's this coercive control thing now in the U.K., isn't it, as well?
00:04:19.440 Yeah, coercive control.
00:04:20.140 And so what happens is feminists use these institutions against men. 1.00
00:04:24.840 Now, there are women that were actually abused. 1.00
00:04:27.020 Yes, we acknowledge that.
00:04:28.280 Yes, but even.
00:04:29.520 Oh, phew.
00:04:30.100 But, yeah, we know.
00:04:31.160 Thank God.
00:04:31.980 But I've even.
00:04:34.080 What is emotional abuse?
00:04:35.120 That's so broad.
00:04:35.820 Exactly, and I've talked to women that, like Erin Pizzi,
00:04:39.060 the first woman that founded an abuse shelter in England, right,
00:04:42.840 she says herself that most abuse is mutual.
00:04:46.220 Most people are hitting each other.
00:04:47.520 Most women are not these perfect angels that did nothing wrong. 0.98
00:04:50.260 But you had a story about, you were telling me a story about a woman that you know
00:04:53.840 who was fabricating something.
00:04:55.240 Yeah, actually, this is a friend I had in the U.K.
00:04:58.000 because I used to live there myself.
00:04:59.040 I met this couple back in 2013, 2014.
00:05:04.700 They recently split over the winter.
00:05:08.160 The woman is at fault at this because, you know, she's been getting crazy. 1.00
00:05:11.960 She's been on drugs. 0.99
00:05:13.300 Did she fuck someone else? 1.00
00:05:14.260 Well, no, she's been fucking somebody else when the man was monogamous. 1.00
00:05:19.060 And so when the man found out and wanted to kick her out,
00:05:21.980 the woman started hitting herself. 1.00
00:05:24.340 And then she filed domestic violence charges. 0.99
00:05:26.820 My friend went to jail for a week.
00:05:29.100 Now she's saying that he's, like, cyber-stalking her, doing this and that.
00:05:32.780 And you guys live in the U.K., so you know how those laws are like.
00:05:35.580 And so now he's actually going to the Crown Court over cyber-stalking
00:05:40.420 and domestic violence when she was stalking him,
00:05:42.600 and she was the one that abused him.
00:05:44.500 This is why you need stones.
00:05:45.900 Say it again.
00:05:46.880 Say it again.
00:05:47.680 I'm going to say this.
00:05:48.760 Women are evil. 1.00
00:05:49.400 They're evil, but that one is fine because, like, listen,
00:05:51.920 if my girlfriend goes as far as to punch herself in the face ten times 0.93
00:05:57.080 to put me in jail, I think we're both winning.
00:06:02.640 So this bitch deserves that. 1.00
00:06:06.560 Oh, my fucking God.
00:06:08.600 That's a terrible story, and it does happen.
00:06:10.500 If I was a guy, I would record everything.
00:06:12.880 I would have ring cameras, like, all over my goddamn.
00:06:15.920 Record everything except sex.
00:06:17.360 Don't record everything.
00:06:18.320 It's crazy.
00:06:19.060 It's consensual.
00:06:20.240 Make sure it's consensual.
00:06:21.300 Have that shit on video.
00:06:22.640 Not video.
00:06:23.280 The audio record.
00:06:24.960 I am so happy I got married 20 years ago,
00:06:29.220 and I don't deal with any of this nonsense.
00:06:31.500 This fucking shit's crazy, man.
00:06:33.580 This shit's crazy.
00:06:35.220 Audio recording and video recording is legal with the person's consent,
00:06:39.240 but that also varies state by state within the union
00:06:42.960 and also every individual country's law.
00:06:46.700 I'd rather risk the audio recording.
00:06:48.400 I'd rather risk getting in trouble.
00:06:49.560 It's best to risk it because, you know what?
00:06:52.160 You got her consenting, so she's like,
00:06:54.380 he didn't great me.
00:06:56.020 You know what I mean?
00:06:57.100 You know what?
00:06:57.660 Oh, my gosh.
00:06:58.140 I heard this story.
00:06:59.340 Oh, my God.
00:06:59.920 This is so crazy.
00:07:01.540 There's a case where he had a Tinder date, right,
00:07:05.060 and he brought her back to his apartment,
00:07:06.960 and she got drunk and fell off the balcony.
00:07:09.140 Now, exactly.
00:07:10.700 Oh, shit, I heard about that story.
00:07:11.820 And he got so lucky because he was recording everything,
00:07:15.840 and she really did get drunk and fall off the balcony, 0.58
00:07:18.500 but imagine if he didn't record that.
00:07:20.800 He got charged.
00:07:21.260 He would be done.
00:07:22.420 He's done.
00:07:22.900 Done.
00:07:23.800 Fuck, man.
00:07:24.620 I heard about that.
00:07:24.980 Yeah, because the thing is,
00:07:26.840 they were kind of fighting because she refused to leave.
00:07:29.500 Could you imagine?
00:07:30.320 He was telling her to get out, and she wouldn't go.
00:07:32.520 If he didn't record in the house,
00:07:34.160 he would have been 100 years.
00:07:36.260 Imagine 100 years in your cell saying,
00:07:38.800 I didn't even get to push the bitch. 1.00
00:07:43.360 Even she got a little fork on that one. 0.53
00:07:46.540 That's crazy.
00:07:47.520 You got to record everything, though.
00:07:49.100 Yeah.
00:07:49.680 If I was a dude.
00:07:50.640 It's a fucking mind field out there now, isn't it?
00:07:52.300 Yeah.
00:07:52.560 He is.
00:07:53.000 I mean, Jesus Christ.
00:07:54.000 I know they need to make like an app.
00:07:55.060 You people need numerology and astrology in your lives.
00:07:58.320 That way you won't get divorced.
00:07:59.820 Forget about these priests, these imams, and these rabbis. 1.00
00:08:03.820 Numerology and astrology.
00:08:05.520 Okay, can we please hear your birthday?
00:08:07.380 Please, for me.
00:08:08.280 Please.
00:08:08.880 I lost so hard.
00:08:10.380 Like, Zerka had a tear come out.
00:08:11.560 I said I'd make the porn star cry, didn't I?
00:08:13.600 That's just funny.
00:08:15.060 You're making me cry from laughing is a great thing,
00:08:17.820 and thank you for that.
00:08:18.700 Yeah, yeah.
00:08:19.320 So, my birthday is...
00:08:20.600 It wasn't my intention.
00:08:21.320 My birthday is the same day as Albert Einstein's birthday, 1992.
00:08:25.200 3-14?
00:08:26.440 Yeah, pi-day.
00:08:27.260 Yeah, 3-14.
00:08:28.260 So, five...
00:08:28.460 People born...
00:08:29.120 Exactly.
00:08:29.560 You knew what...
00:08:29.880 He said it.
00:08:30.080 He said it off top.
00:08:31.240 He's a five.
00:08:32.160 So, again, remember we were on the yacht,
00:08:35.040 and all those girls were five? 0.89
00:08:36.260 So, you're born on the 14th.
00:08:37.960 One in four is five.
00:08:39.040 Five's the number of sexuality.
00:08:40.640 Sex, first vowel E. 0.60
00:08:41.800 E is the fifth letter.
00:08:43.100 Reproduction, first vowel E.
00:08:44.280 Again, so you're doing, basically, in a sense, what you're supposed to,
00:08:50.280 but you basically fell for the trap.
00:08:52.480 So, you're basically a failure to reincarnation.
00:08:54.880 You're going to have to do this shit all over again.
00:08:58.020 So, I'm a 5'2".
00:08:59.400 I'm a 5'2".
00:08:59.840 She's also... 0.99
00:09:00.460 You're also in 1992, right?
00:09:03.120 92, you said?
00:09:03.800 So, she's an 11 life path, too.
00:09:05.400 You're an 11?
00:09:05.900 Yeah, she's emotional as hell.
00:09:07.640 That's the best fucking number of success.
00:09:08.060 She's emotional as hell.
00:09:09.000 You could have done so much better than doing this stuff.
00:09:11.340 You could have been famous.
00:09:12.720 You really could have.
00:09:13.500 You didn't need to do this.
00:09:14.220 11 is Conor McGregor.
00:09:14.560 You did not need to do this.
00:09:16.100 What is the following?
00:09:17.100 She's an 11.
00:09:17.960 So, basically, because she's born on the 14th, that's a very sexual number.
00:09:22.140 That's a very attractive number.
00:09:23.880 So, that's basically where it comes from.
00:09:26.280 But her total number... 0.99
00:09:27.500 And well-traveled.
00:09:27.820 She's been to 35 countries.
00:09:29.420 Fives are always well-traveled.
00:09:30.500 Yeah, fives are always traveling, too, and stuff like that.
00:09:32.260 So, it hits her.
00:09:32.820 Like, you're also probably made a lot of bad choices because you feel sorry for people
00:09:37.520 and you want to try to mold them and help them and things like that.
00:09:41.240 And that's backfired a lot for you.
00:09:42.800 Actually, you know what?
00:09:43.820 The only thing that backfired on me in molding and helping was helping my family when they
00:09:47.340 never appreciated it.
00:09:48.160 Oh, you still did it.
00:09:49.260 I did it because, you know what?
00:09:50.880 I'm a compassionate, loving human being, and I have a soul.
00:09:55.520 You have to help yourself before you can help others, hon.
00:09:58.040 Yeah, I understand that.
00:09:59.400 Wait, wait.
00:10:00.400 But 11 is a predictor of success, right?
00:10:03.480 Or a school shooter.