JustPearlyThings - April 17, 2023


Man Uses Shaming Tactics On Feminine Woman


Episode Stats


Length

12 minutes

Words per minute

214.79118

Word count

2,671

Sentence count

1

Harmful content

Misogyny

15

sentences flagged

Toxicity

3

sentences flagged

Hate speech

6

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we discuss trust in men and how it's one of the most important things a woman has in a relationship with a man. We also discuss what it means to be a woman in the workplace and why it's important to have trust in your partner.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 it's easy for me to get a girl after if I've got more money and she's got more 1.00
00:00:03.780 money it's easy for me to get a woman so I don't care if you leave or not I'll 1.00
00:00:06.420 just get another girl and I feel like it's kind of necessary for men to be 1.00
00:00:09.260 like that as well like I feel like we need men to sometimes drag us back down
00:00:12.300 to earth like you're not doing that like you have to have faith in your man that
00:00:16.620 he knows what's best for you as a unit as a couple instead of oh I'm an 0.99
00:00:20.440 individual and I'm gonna do my individual thing and I'm a boss bitch 1.00
00:00:22.820 because I value love more than I value money isn't that feeling is not more 0.85
00:00:36.740 based on his insecurity though shouldn't he level up I mean yeah her point is
00:00:45.560 trusting his decision-making in a relationship so she's not even
00:00:48.320 necessarily like I'm assuming you're not necessarily just talking about work but
00:00:52.040 like sometimes as women like we we think we can do we get ahead of ourselves
00:00:55.400 because we're so emotional yeah and sometimes it's like kind of nice to have
00:00:58.640 a guy say no no you're not like oh I want to go butt naked to the club oh no
00:01:02.840 I'm talking about like holding you back yeah I think it was the word it depends if
00:01:10.640 it's something that you're really really passionate about and they can I just
00:01:13.940 think like you got a trust that the person you're with if you genuinely know
00:01:17.540 they love you like if you're doing something that you're really
00:01:20.240 passionate about they're gonna support that I don't think a man is gonna stop
00:01:23.840 his woman from doing something unless he genuinely believes it's in hers and his 0.89
00:01:28.160 best interest to do that it would be like okay she's you're in copiers if she got a 1.00
00:01:39.300 promotion at work and it was gonna require her to work an extra 15 hours a 1.00
00:01:43.040 week but they have kids it's like yeah maybe that would be good for her career 1.00
00:01:46.700 but it's not good for the family and the guy should be looking out for the
00:01:49.340 family above all else and I'd be kind of worried if he like if we did have
00:01:52.600 children I would be kind of worried if I did get a promotion and it required me
00:01:55.760 to work 15 more hours and he went yeah that's fine that would be a turn-off I'd be
00:02:00.420 like what you don't want me to be at home with our children what if he was like
00:02:03.340 okay if you want to do that then I'll reduce my hours at work so that he can it's
00:02:08.100 hard for me to say because I know I wouldn't want to do that so it's hard for me to
00:02:12.080 speak outside of my personal feelings because I'm a woman so I'm emotional
00:02:16.400 like I can't I can't say I don't I just don't have that drive to view a career
00:02:22.600 over my my children and being home with them and so yeah I just I don't know I
00:02:27.500 wouldn't suggest anyone I think when you bring kids into the scenario is a
00:02:32.120 complete different conversation but if there's no kids and you're in a
00:02:34.940 relationship I think ladies because if it was about money that's why that's 1.00
00:02:51.380 that's what the whole topic though but she left her man cuz she was making more 1.00
00:02:54.740 money than it right so if you had an opportunity to make more money or to stay
00:03:02.540 with my man and he was insecure about that and said no don't go for that
00:03:05.840 because you're gonna earn too much you'd accept it it's insecurity that he
00:03:12.020 wouldn't want me to work to make more money yeah but why is that insecurity
00:03:15.920 why is why is that insecurity that's what I'm a bit lost with that's what this
00:03:19.820 whole thing is based on so the man is insecure specifically make more money than
00:03:24.140 her like what there's no other factors other than there is if you're if you're
00:03:27.480 getting a promotion that he in a situation where it's not about kids it's not
00:03:32.180 about anything else it's just purely the fact that he does not want you to make
00:03:35.300 more money than him my question would be like I don't do it like I just I don't
00:03:39.680 know I don't think like that I don't remember her point is that she's with a
00:03:42.740 guy that she trusts so the whole point is you trust me but like she wouldn't be
00:03:52.880 with a guy that she doesn't trust yeah that's the whole point all right so
00:03:57.320 y'all said to me yeah you you're you're doing copy sales you're printing sales and your
00:04:01.420 company said we're gonna double your salary got an amazing opportunity for
00:04:08.620 you but it means you got a move to a different city yeah if my boyfriend or
00:04:12.820 husband didn't want me to do it I wouldn't do it
00:04:14.540 Wow why is that so amazing bit actually
00:04:20.920 if my dad if my dad if I got a promotion double my salary my dad didn't want me to do it I wouldn't do it because I trust my dad I have respect so but purely there's no reason he just doesn't want you to take that promotion fine I you know my mom wasn't it's funny my mom was in a similar situation my mom was in a similar situation and that's how she got 10 kids in a mansion baby
00:04:44.920 seriously she was my mom was dating my dad there at two different schools she really liked her first school she had more opportunity 0.76
00:04:52.120 at her first school and my dad basically told her to either find to either move to him or find a new boyfriend and she moved she got then she got 10 kids she got they built a multi-million dollar business
00:05:04.120 together like because she knew that my dad was it's all about this instant gratification thing
00:05:08.920 like you're saying about like would I take the double salary or my man saying no
00:05:12.400 like that's that's on the basis of instant gratification
00:05:15.700 the reasons why like this the whole based on this why does the reason matter if you trust their decision
00:05:20.620 yeah because what I mean if you're picking the guy it's it's like that's that's
00:05:24.340 yeah that you see a future with yeah that's investment delayed gratification
00:05:28.960 that's investment and I'm investing in my relationship in the video right she left her man
00:05:33.640 because she was making more money right so in that scenario the man's going to be insecure
00:05:39.880 no right she didn't have to leave him she wanted to leave him because she chose the career over him 0.99
00:05:45.700 and I just wouldn't do that I also think a lot of guys perhaps wouldn't be insecure about it because
00:05:51.700 they wouldn't think of it up front do you know what I mean because I reckon there's a load of guys out
00:05:54.880 there who aren't going to think oh she's earning more money than me she's going to immediately leave me 1.00
00:05:58.420 do you know what I mean I think that's a red like a red pill truth that might come to bite them
00:06:01.900 you know I'm saying like I think a lot of guys would be just like oh no do you just go do you do you
00:06:06.400 yeah I don't even think the majority of men they wouldn't even think that
00:06:09.240 it just seems mad to me to hold anyone back in life
00:06:12.960 but it's not selling printers in this scenario like this is why I said the thing about passion
00:06:18.840 if it was something I was passionate about and there was a good cause about it then
00:06:21.800 I would have to have some kind of discussion about it but ultimately if he doesn't want me doing it
00:06:26.080 I'm not gonna do it well it's it's actually crazy to me that you don't think that any guy would be worth
00:06:30.420 giving up a career yeah like to me that's crazy you don't think there's any guy that's worth that
00:06:34.920 no of course but it depends it depends on the situation right so obviously if it's purely based on
00:06:39.780 right you're gonna get a promotion and out earn me therefore you'd I don't want you to take that job
00:06:44.980 that's crazy that's crazy that's exactly that's what I'm talking about
00:06:48.080 I thought the original question was a promotion at work and she said she said it wasn't about
00:06:57.060 money she said he's being cautious and there might be other like that's what I thought you
00:07:00.800 were getting at yeah she was like I trust him I trust his decision making and so why wouldn't
00:07:05.120 I trust my partner plus I'd like to be with a guy who I think is more intelligent than me so I trust
00:07:09.620 that they can make good decisions for me and thus for us so are you are you equal to your man
00:07:14.220 depends in what sense can you specify well you told me what in what sense when women say they're 1.00
00:07:23.780 equal to men in that sense it's different we're different so you can't make you can't you can't 0.93
00:07:28.620 come there can't be a comparison because I think it's equal in terms of you know there's two halves
00:07:35.140 of a relationship so you're two parts that make up one whole but all right can I can I give you the
00:07:40.740 hypothetical settings now in the hypothetical settings you as a woman you pick a man that's
00:07:46.460 taller than you stronger than you richer than you smarter than you did more things than you
00:07:54.140 we're not equal are we and then you say you're equal and I'm not saying we're equal we didn't say
00:07:58.980 I'm not saying we're equal so you're not equal I said we're equal in the sense of your two parts of
00:08:04.380 a relationship but you're talking about equality in the sense of who makes the decisions who deals
00:08:09.160 with the finances who ultimately is the the leader of the unit that is your relationship
00:08:13.660 right so if you're if I'm the leader of the relationship isn't it incumbent on me anyway
00:08:18.520 to tell you like what is the best decision for our family absolutely right no I'm just going along
00:08:24.840 I'm following the chain so why would it be weird for the husband to make that decision I don't think
00:08:31.260 it would be weird that I trust my husband's decision I think he's asking oh you're asking
00:08:36.060 beard beard gang gang I think we're talking about two complete different things here okay pretty much
00:08:42.020 like my whole point yeah was based on you mean anyone you you you in a relationship with your man
00:08:46.980 you've got an opportunity to make more than him that makes him feel insecure and he says to you
00:08:51.040 you're presuming don't take that opportunity but this is what it's no but so I have a question what if
00:08:55.320 what if it was about I don't want you around those guys all day like like there's sale like
00:09:00.900 because I worked in copier sales it's mostly guys I was the only girl in the office what if it's
00:09:06.020 just you know I don't think there's only me and one other yeah sometimes don't want to usually do
00:09:10.940 hard jobs I bet those uh I bet those copier sales guys are sharks as well right sharks what do you
00:09:17.840 mean like they're what does that mean they're top salesmen they're very they know what well the best
00:09:25.460 sell those best salesperson is um the other gal she's really good at what she does um but like my 1.00
00:09:31.580 director like he's very sort of 80s style sales like he walks into a place but so would you think
00:09:38.380 that was acceptable if he said you know what I don't think you being around a group of guys
00:09:42.840 every day all day is going to be good for a relationship acceptable or not acceptable
00:09:46.860 what's he going to do to replace it then I think if he can so if so if he says all right I don't
00:09:53.840 want you working at that company come stay at home so to you it's all about bargaining so it's about
00:09:58.040 what do I get from this decision so if he's going to say to you don't work at that company and he's
00:10:02.440 going to look after you and I need a reason that's different so so are you saying that I'm just trying
00:10:06.760 to understand your your perspective so you're saying that if he says I don't want you at work
00:10:12.680 because I don't want you around all of these guys and you said well what's he going to do to make
00:10:17.620 up for that I don't view it like that I don't need something to be made up for like how you're
00:10:21.880 going to live how am I going to live what do you mean about a job how you're going to live well I
00:10:25.980 would trust that if he's telling me he doesn't want me to work that that's because he's going to
00:10:30.760 look after me otherwise why would he tell me not to work well then that's what you get out of it
00:10:34.320 well yeah exactly but I'm not expecting the way you said it just makes me think that you're still
00:10:40.080 getting something out of it there needs to be something out of it he shouldn't just tell you
00:10:43.680 oh yeah like quit your job now and then you just do it like of course he has to give you some sort
00:10:48.380 of reasoning behind yeah so she said what if you as a woman just said you know what um let me 1.00
00:10:53.760 look at other jobs that are more female like that I work with women more yeah like isn't that 1.00
00:10:59.420 it's all about negotiation if you don't care about your job then fine do you know what I mean
00:11:03.840 change it but I think it just goes back to like like what what matters to what matters to her is
00:11:09.680 it is it the man or the job what's more important is the family or the job isn't that one a little
00:11:13.580 bit tricky though because if he says oh there's all these other dudes in the office so I'm not happy
00:11:17.880 with that does that is that there are danger that's going to make him look a little bit
00:11:20.960 insecure a little bit needy do you know what I mean like because because if he was like the apex
00:11:27.120 alpha wouldn't he just say well I don't care because it's about these other dudes like the
00:11:30.280 men the men in this in this scenario we're talking about yeah but how many men do you know is leaving
00:11:33.600 their wives just because they got a promotion though like I'm saying I don't know I don't know I think
00:11:38.660 there's nuance to it I'd have to you know it it would all depend on the context of the situation
00:11:43.040 if he didn't like the people that I was around and he gave good reason for it then like it's fine
00:11:50.420 but I guess maybe a little bit if it was just completely unjustified he had no idea what I was like
00:11:56.780 at work this is exactly what I was talking about yeah so I would need reasoning it's not like I just
00:12:01.640 go okay I'm gonna quit tomorrow like but I would I I know that I just I wouldn't pick a guy that
00:12:07.480 wouldn't be able to give me a logical explanation as many of you know I was just banned on tiktok
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