JustPearlyThings - Married Man SHARE Experience Dating In Different Countries

00:00:00.000 I'm curious because you've lived like everywhere, right?

00:00:03.140 What is your experience dating in different countries?

00:00:06.140 So I lived in Poland and Ukraine, and I often talk on my channel that the women are just much more family oriented.

00:00:12.400 It's almost like the U.S. like 50 years ago.

00:00:14.820 So it's like they're more like feminine, elegant, kind of stronger moral system, looking for kind of family, stuff like that.

00:00:22.220 On the flip side of the coin, they take longer to hook up with, which was annoying, right?

00:00:26.180 Like in Ukraine, it would take like two to five dates to actually hook up with a girl.

00:00:29.440 So I had situations where I'd be on a fourth date in public and they weren't ready to kiss yet, which I've never encountered anywhere else.

00:00:35.360 But there's not a lot of this, you know, kind of me too stuff that's happening in the U.S. and happening in the U.K. and stuff like that.

00:00:43.140 But again, these are very real problems that need to be addressed.

00:00:45.780 But when they say that you can't speak about, you know, hooking up with a girl within earshot of another woman, or you can't brush up against someone, even if it was an accident or stuff like this,

00:00:55.340 it starts to blur the line between, you know, guys just living their life versus potentially encountering trouble.

00:01:02.260 And guys want to err on the side of caution in a lot of cases.

00:01:05.020 And the things we've already discussed about how guys are already apprehensive, that adds to it.

00:01:09.620 And they just figure, you know, I'm not going to even bother with that.

00:01:12.460 I'm just going to watch corn, I guess, or stuff like this.

00:01:16.720 That was interesting.

00:01:17.240 So you really think that the Me Too movement has contributed to male sexlessness because they don't want the risk?

00:01:24.480 Yeah, because I have access to, like, thousands of clients, and I hear these things all the time.

00:01:28.360 And, like, you know, the guys in Australia, a lot of them couldn't even leave because of the, you know, during the pandemic.

00:01:33.320 But they're really terrified about getting in a situation where a girl later says, hey, I changed my mind about consent.

00:01:38.440 And then what happens from there?

00:01:40.520 Right?

00:01:40.920 Or a guy, you know, approaching a girl and she doesn't like it, maybe in the U.K., is he now going to get in trouble?

00:01:47.360 Right?

00:01:47.540 So, as we said, not many people were cold approaching to begin with.

00:01:50.920 But when you put these kind of restrictions on, guys are even more intimidated.

00:01:55.700 Right?

00:01:56.140 Because now there's not just rejection, there's also legal consequences.

00:01:59.420 Has that ever happened to any of your clients or someone you know?

00:02:03.380 Getting in trouble for, no, I can't think of any instances, but I think it's more of a, it just makes people gun shy.

00:02:10.600 Yeah.

00:02:11.280 It's more that it could happen.

00:02:12.740 Yeah.

00:02:13.040 They don't want to, you know, just the fact that that exists.

00:02:16.100 It makes them just not want to even be part of that.

00:02:19.280 Yeah.

00:02:19.780 Like why, you know, they don't want to put their freedom on the line or something like that to get a hookup. 0.99

00:02:24.080 Yeah.

00:02:24.300 That's kind of because I'm doing the documentary on the court system here and I'm starting to like learn.

00:02:29.940 You don't even have to be married is a crazy thing.

00:02:32.040 It's just with a kid. 0.99

00:02:33.560 Just the shit that guys go through, especially with getting access to their kids. 0.99

00:02:37.840 And they can get a lot of false accusations because here they're literally paid. 0.99

00:02:42.900 They're given free counsel if you accuse a guy of assault.

00:02:45.440 And a lot of the centers here know that.

00:02:48.020 So they encourage the women to do it. 0.95

00:02:50.460 Yeah.

00:02:50.860 And even though it doesn't happen to every guy, I'm like listening to these stories.

00:02:54.900 I'm like, if I was a guy, I would be so.

00:02:57.460 I've heard a lot of stories like that from clients where like, basically like, like women that cheat, for instance, if the husband finds out, like I've heard of a lot of situations where the guy gets screwed.

00:03:09.360 Because the woman just says, you know, the guy that hooked up, the woman just says like it was non-consensual just so she can save the marriage.

00:03:15.420 And there's no consequence on the woman.

00:03:16.960 Again, I'm not saying like sexual assault doesn't happen and it's not a real problem.

00:03:20.960 But it's like a nice little like roll of the dice in a bunch of cases where I know people specifically where, you know, it's like a real danger.

00:03:28.380 Even in the U.S., like a guy, I had a client where he basically like had sex with a girl in Las Vegas in a hotel room.

00:03:35.880 And she said, oh, I paid for the room, like stay the night.

00:03:37.920 And he said, no, I'm going to leave.

00:03:39.120 And she ran down and said, oh, you know, he, he graped me basically.

00:03:43.340 And, you know, situations like that, or if they cheat and then the partner finds out, it's very easy to say it wasn't consensual so they can save the marriage.

00:03:51.140 And they don't care what happens to the guy's life.

00:03:52.980 Right.

00:03:53.280 And then it just becomes a he said, she said.

00:03:55.220 Yes.

00:03:56.000 I'm just curious for the girls, if you were in the position of guys where the laws were against you. 1.00

00:04:01.480 I do need to say something about this.

00:04:03.780 It's interesting, right?

00:04:04.840 And so a lot of people do mention toxic masculinity, but I definitely think the crisis that's happening, and I can see it.

00:04:15.920 It's if I label it is from toxic femininity, femininity, I can't really say the word properly. 0.75

00:04:21.760 Because how do you, how do you expect people to express themselves when they're scared?

00:04:29.120 Men, boys are so scared to express themselves, to approach you.

00:04:34.780 But the main complaint from all of my girlfriends or the people that I know is the men are not being men enough.

00:04:41.340 They're not like literally approaching.

00:04:43.440 Exactly.

00:04:44.220 But look, who created that?

00:04:46.060 Yeah, but then when we have laws like that, how can, because I'm just thinking if I was in their point of view, and you guys can tell me if you agree or disagree, but I would be really hesitant.

00:04:53.980 And then also, we complain about men not wanting to get married, but if you look at the laws in here in the West, I won't get married.

00:05:04.200 Why would I get married and like risk 50% of my income?

00:05:08.860 Mainly, I make the most out of that income, and I don't think that's fair as well.

00:05:13.200 There is, there is a privilege for women, and there is a man privilege as well. 1.00

00:05:17.400 And I think men...

00:05:18.040 Well, I'll tell you, it's not even marriage.

00:05:19.520 It's just having a kid.

00:05:21.220 Exactly.

00:05:21.560 That's the crazy thing.

00:05:22.500 I just talked to this guy the other day, and he wasn't legally married.

00:05:26.120 He just had a kid here.

00:05:27.900 And what she did was she went to like a woman's shelter, and basically at the woman's shelter, they tell the girls like what to say about the guy based on his background.

00:05:38.920 I know some of these people.

00:05:40.340 Yeah, and so for him, he was Muslim, and she basically said that everything she did the last 10 years, she didn't actually consent to doing because it was under his control.

00:05:50.500 Like control, allegedly, even though she was fine with it while they were married.

00:05:54.420 Yes.

00:05:54.800 And then they don't really get a fair shot in court.

00:05:57.440 Yes.

00:05:57.820 And it took him over a year to actually get to go to court, so he didn't see his kid for a year with no evidence.

00:06:03.860 Yeah, and that's normal.

00:06:05.540 Yeah, it's normal.

00:06:05.860 And you know what's funny?

00:06:06.820 I think things are changing now after Amber heard.

00:06:10.040 Yeah.

00:06:10.320 You know, I think the court and people and judges are kind of like looking for more evidence and then thinking, okay, maybe are there women are using these. 0.96

00:06:22.080 Listen, I stand up for women.

00:06:23.600 I love women. 1.00

00:06:24.320 But I think also abusing men, I don't stand for it.

00:06:29.060 I think there has to be a balance between men, femininity, and masculinity, and you have to honor each other.

00:06:35.500 And that's the thing.

00:06:36.460 It's that balance, isn't it?

00:06:37.340 Because I think there was a movement at one point where it was Believe All Women, which goes completely against the whole tenets of actual, you know, innocent unto proven guilty.

00:06:46.040 It was just if a woman says it, then it's – and I get it where it's come from.

00:06:48.880 Like you said earlier, I mean, you know, there's been a lot of historical wrongs against women, so there was a real natural need to, you know, redress that. 0.99

00:06:55.680 But I think the pendulum has just swung so far to the other way where it's like everyone's suffering.

00:07:02.540 Men are suffering, but now women are actually suffering because there are – like you say, a lot of your friends are single because men are terrified.

00:07:08.540 And I get the cries from some quarters in society where people say it's a deliberate thing to actually completely dismantle relationships.

00:07:17.480 Because that almost seems the only logical explanation.

00:07:20.060 It's like there's almost like this real concerted effort to completely dismantle marriage.

00:07:24.360 Because that's the only way you can explain it to a certain extent, isn't it? 1.00

00:07:27.680 Because some of the laws are so crazy, so stupid. 1.00

00:07:30.540 I'm so sinister. 1.00

00:07:31.400 It's like that is not fostering proper relationships, proper marriage.

00:07:35.240 And we can see the stats of, you know, especially boys from single-parent families.

00:07:38.640 I mean, my God, from crime to health to life chances to every stat goes against them.

00:07:44.540 So why are we as society pushing this real – almost like an agenda – to split people up?

00:07:49.500 Have you ever thought about how it changes the dynamics of relationships?

00:07:52.920 Because when you think about it, if you're – okay, if you're in a deal, right, with someone and one party gains everything by leaving and one party loses everything by leaving, the person that loses everything is always going to be trying to appease the one that gains everything.

00:08:05.620 And so I feel like that's why we get phrases like she wears the pants in the relationship.

00:08:11.840 Yeah.

00:08:12.240 And happy wife, happy life.

00:08:13.560 Yeah, yeah.

00:08:14.400 Yeah, because 80% of relationships are – oh, sorry, 80% of divorces are initiated by women, right? 1.00

00:08:19.060 Are initiated by women. 1.00

00:08:19.380 I mean, it's no surprise.

00:08:20.660 Guys will be terrified, isn't it?

00:08:22.220 Yeah, Pearl, just going back to what you said about, you know, like women that flee from men and will make up this story and stuff like that.

00:08:32.040 In the UK, it is so easy to do that.

00:08:35.960 It's so easy to say, you know, I'm in this situation.

00:08:40.080 Like, for example, that person that, you know, they said I was with a Muslim guy.

00:08:43.740 He done this, this, this and this.

00:08:45.460 It's so easy for women to do that, for women to go to shelters. 0.97

00:08:49.120 And for men, it's like they're not even heard, like at all.

00:08:54.380 Well, it's because in family court, I'm learning about this now, so I might butcher it, but it's up to the discretion of a judge.

00:09:01.560 So normally, like if you go to criminal court, you have to convince a jury.

00:09:05.200 And that's a little – and it's based on evidence, where in family court, it's based on a balance of probabilities.

00:09:10.240 So they're not even 100% sure if he's guilty.

00:09:12.600 In the UK, this is even before the court.

00:09:17.040 Like, if you – yeah, yeah.

00:09:18.460 Like, if you called – I don't really know, like, the lines and stuff.

00:09:22.300 But if you, for example, said to your doctor, I'm in this – even though you might not be, because say, I'm in this relationship.

00:09:29.180 This person is, like, you know, domestic violence.

00:09:32.540 I have a child.

00:09:33.800 You can leave that night, and then they'll take you to, like, a refuge or something.

00:09:38.100 Like, it's so easy for women. 1.00

00:09:39.560 I'm not saying that there's not women out there that actually do need that, because they do. 0.94

00:09:44.300 But there's also women that are taking advantage of that. 1.00

00:09:46.800 And once you get to that point, you can get benefits.

00:09:49.400 You can get housing.

00:09:50.480 Like, there's so much more before the court, I'm saying, like, before the court.

00:09:54.540 Well, and they kick him out of the house, because that's what he was telling me.

00:09:57.680 He was saying, you first go to either a teacher or a doctor, and then they take you to the women's shelter, and they tell you what to say.

00:10:02.780 And then one call to the police.

00:10:05.400 They have – the women's shelter instructs you on what to say to the police, so he's gone, basically.

00:10:09.560 Yeah, the police can take them the next day.

00:10:11.240 Yeah.

00:10:11.560 Yeah.

00:10:11.800 Yeah.

00:10:12.040 And so, one – like, there's one guy who got one call, and it was – I forgot what exactly the words he said, but it was basically, like, get out of the house.

00:10:20.500 And he still has to pay for the mortgage on the house, because it's in his name.

00:10:23.900 And then he slapped with $1,500 in child support a month.

00:10:26.780 Easily.

00:10:27.140 And then he lost his job, because he was so – like, you know, I mean, he just lost his kids and everything he owned.

00:10:33.260 I have one client that basically, he built the whole, you know, financial situation.

00:10:38.520 The wife was staying home with the kids, and he came home one day early from work, and his wife was with another guy.

00:10:44.900 And, you know, the guy was, like, running out the back door or whatever.

00:10:47.480 But what's interesting is that she ended up getting the whole house, like, almost full custody of the kids, and, like, totally ruined his life.

00:10:54.200 But he didn't do anything wrong, right?

00:10:55.820 Just the way the system is set up.

00:10:57.140 And that doesn't mean, like, oh, everyone needs to go MGTOW now and don't ever get married.

00:11:00.780 But that really, like, calls into question here.

00:11:03.300 That was not even something he did.

00:11:05.800 You know, he didn't do anything wrong.

00:11:07.020 But the courts are going to side with the woman in most cases in the Western world. 0.98

00:11:09.840 Yeah, and that's, it's hard because there's not really a way to avoid it out here.

00:11:16.240 Because even the guy that I talked to the other day, he wasn't legally married.

00:11:19.740 It was just the kid.

00:11:20.820 Exactly.

00:11:21.500 You don't even need to be married.

00:11:23.040 Like, it's just, it's so easy.

00:11:24.920 Like, as soon as you go through the doctor, like, that day, they will send you to, like, the...

00:11:32.240 Do you know someone that's happened to?

00:11:34.440 Yeah.

00:11:35.280 Tell me what happened.

00:11:36.560 Um, so I know somebody that was in, just in a normal relationship, no problem, whatever.

00:11:44.980 But they needed housing.

00:11:46.660 Yeah.

00:11:48.320 Like, there's nothing to do with a partner.

00:11:50.380 So they just created their own partner in their head.

00:11:54.740 Got into a refuge.

00:11:56.440 No way.

00:11:57.240 Waited a year.

00:11:58.440 Was in temporary housing.

00:12:00.460 And then got into a flat.

00:12:02.380 So you don't even need, like, any type of evidence.

00:12:03.660 You don't need evidence.

00:12:04.960 Like, well, now, nowadays, they're cracking onto it more.

00:12:08.620 But I know back then, it was easy.

00:12:11.340 If I said, I'm in a...

00:12:13.040 They don't even need to know the guy.

00:12:14.620 If I just...

00:12:15.280 I just literally...

00:12:16.320 They don't even need to be a fake person.

00:12:18.020 And I'm not saying, like, I haven't done that.

00:12:19.860 I still live at home.

00:12:20.620 I'm just saying example, right?

00:12:22.120 People.

00:12:23.180 But that's how easy it is in the UK.

00:12:25.460 Like, people take advantage of the system.

00:12:27.080 As many of you know, I was just banned on TikTok.

00:12:30.980 And we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform.

00:12:35.280 If you want to help, please consider sending a super thanks below.

00:12:39.700 Every donation helps, and it helps make what we do possible.

00:12:43.540 Like, people.

00:12:43.740 Thank you.

JustPearlyThings - April 16, 2023

Married Man SHARE Experience Dating In Different Countries

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