JustPearlyThings - May 07, 2023


Masculine Woman Claims That She Is The Table


Episode Stats


Length

10 minutes

Words per minute

217.15561

Word count

2,270

Sentence count

246

Harmful content

Misogyny

9

sentences flagged

Hate speech

2

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode of What's On The Table, I sit down with my lovely wife and we talk about our relationship and what it means to be a wife and a mother. We talk about how we met and fell in love with each other and how we became a couple. We also talk about the importance of a good marriage and how important it is to have a good relationship with your partner.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 I think that if I don't say I'm above average, then who else is going to say it?
00:00:05.820 Do you know what I mean?
00:00:07.180 If I don't back myself first, then I don't think I'll ever become above average.
00:00:11.880 I think, you know, your mind is the most powerful thing and you kind of are what you think,
00:00:17.860 kind of the same as you are what you eat type vibes.
00:00:20.180 So if I don't think I'm above average and not what I bring to the table,
00:00:24.860 I am the fucking table.
00:00:27.220 I'm the table.
00:00:28.060 Do you know what I mean?
00:00:28.720 And I might not be your table, but he might like the oak table with a wonky leg
00:00:33.280 and, you know, and a crochet doily on top, right?
00:00:37.580 And he over there might want a marble table, but I will be somebody's table.
00:00:42.840 So what are you, what's on the table?
00:00:45.800 What's on the table?
00:00:47.300 What's on the table?
00:00:48.340 Okay, what's on the table?
00:00:50.300 Well, I think I can have a laugh.
00:00:52.900 I'm funny.
00:00:55.060 Again, I'm very nurturing.
00:00:56.520 I'm a big heart.
00:00:57.580 I've been through a lot.
00:00:59.900 So I tend to have, you know, a lot in common with, you know, I usually find more so, like, men that I've been around or now my now partner has been through a lot.
00:01:15.160 And I think as a female, I've gone through quite a lot, you know, not always some females have been through just because, you know, I've been around a lot of boys and where I was gay, I was always hanging out with boys.
00:01:27.120 So now when I sit with my man now is that we've got quite a lot in common, which is great.
00:01:34.140 I can cook, sort of.
00:01:36.040 Like, he's probably laughing at me right now, but I can cook.
00:01:38.180 How often do you cook for him?
00:01:40.700 How often do I cook for him?
00:01:42.040 It depends because we don't live together.
00:01:43.440 Like, this week, how many times have you cooked?
00:01:45.020 I've cooked, like, twice, three times.
00:01:47.460 I love cooking breakfast.
00:01:48.400 He always gets breakfast, you see.
00:01:49.600 He always gets breakfast off me.
00:01:51.120 But, you know, it's a learning curve.
00:01:53.080 I just, you know, and, you know, if you don't like that I'm not cooking enough for him, I'm sorry.
00:01:58.580 I didn't say anything.
00:02:00.880 You know what I mean?
00:02:01.720 But, like, that's kind of, like, the vibe that I like, I'm not coming with what I'm bringing to the table.
00:02:07.700 It's that I am the table in whatever shape or form.
00:02:10.320 And, you know, and the table might get a lick of paint and it might get new legs or something like that.
00:02:17.180 But I am the table.
00:02:17.920 It's not what's on the table.
00:02:19.120 I am what's holding everything up.
00:02:21.440 Can I ask you a question?
00:02:22.480 You mentioned how, like, you know, the mind is powerful and what you think of yourself.
00:02:27.360 But do you also feel like there's a point where you can also be realistic about where you are presently?
00:02:32.360 Yeah, no, for sure.
00:02:33.240 I think I've learned to be very determined because I've lost five stone, which was a massive thing.
00:02:40.560 So for a long time, I didn't think I brought anything to the table, let alone being the table, let alone thinking I was above average.
00:02:47.520 I spent a lot of my youth thinking I was well below average, especially being a big...
00:02:53.560 Were you when you were overweight?
00:02:54.800 When I was overweight, struggling with being gay.
00:02:57.580 Well, you are below average if you're overweight.
00:03:00.520 Yeah, so, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:03:02.280 Yeah, no, no, it's true.
00:03:03.380 It's so true. 0.84
00:03:03.960 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:03:04.440 I mean, I'm sure you can see the level of attention you get now from when you're overweight.
00:03:08.060 A million percent.
00:03:09.160 A million percent.
00:03:10.360 So...
00:03:10.560 This is...
00:03:11.120 I was a fat kid too.
00:03:12.080 Yeah.
00:03:13.280 No, no, no.
00:03:13.840 So I like it.
00:03:14.440 So I really have...
00:03:15.480 Like, when I show people pictures of what I used to look like, they go, wow, that can't be you.
00:03:19.200 I can't imagine.
00:03:20.140 So I...
00:03:21.340 Like, that...
00:03:22.720 I've had to back myself.
00:03:24.340 I've had to say, like, that I am the table.
00:03:26.940 I bring everything to the table.
00:03:28.360 And I think that's what makes me essentially do it.
00:03:31.240 Because I'm saying I kind of embody that.
00:03:33.980 I think that...
00:03:35.040 But it's just like...
00:03:35.980 Because I almost think of this as like a job.
00:03:38.360 Yeah.
00:03:38.480 Because I personally, I think, like, being a wife is like applying for a job.
00:03:41.860 If you want to be married, I know not everyone does.
00:03:44.440 But it's like when you come to a job interview and you just say, well, I am the job.
00:03:49.880 City girls.
00:03:50.860 Might try that next time.
00:03:52.760 And it's like, no, no.
00:03:53.880 What do you...
00:03:54.300 Like, what do you do?
00:03:55.340 Like, what...
00:03:55.980 If you're in this job, like, what can you do for me?
00:03:58.420 I'm kind.
00:03:59.240 I'm kind.
00:03:59.940 I'm kind.
00:04:00.460 That, for me, is what I bring to table.
00:04:03.640 I'm a kind person.
00:04:04.600 And if you don't like that, then there's the door.
00:04:06.640 But that is essentially the bare minimum that I bring to the table is that I think I'm a kind soul.
00:04:12.560 And I love fully with my whole heart.
00:04:14.560 And I think that's the biggest thing that me personally, I can bring to the table.
00:04:18.740 That's interesting.
00:04:19.560 Nobody said, like, I want to have kids.
00:04:21.540 Oh, I want to have kids.
00:04:22.580 Do you know what?
00:04:22.940 There was so much more that I wanted to get to.
00:04:25.400 But, yeah.
00:04:25.740 I can cook for a family of this many.
00:04:28.040 Like, you know.
00:04:29.340 I do want to have kids.
00:04:30.580 I do want to have kids.
00:04:32.180 Okay.
00:04:32.540 Or would you...
00:04:33.420 If you found a guy tomorrow that you really liked, would you have kids?
00:04:36.920 Like, you're ready to go.
00:04:38.140 Me?
00:04:38.540 Yeah.
00:04:39.400 But I got a boyfriend.
00:04:40.460 Okay.
00:04:40.880 So, would you...
00:04:41.580 If he said tomorrow, I'm ready to get married.
00:04:43.800 And have kids.
00:04:44.400 Yeah.
00:04:44.620 Like, right now.
00:04:45.500 So, let's start.
00:04:46.660 I mean, I would try and negotiate and try and get him to extend this.
00:04:49.960 But, I mean, if he's, like, dead on it.
00:04:53.040 Yeah.
00:04:53.900 Yes.
00:04:54.500 Yeah.
00:04:55.160 So, no.
00:04:56.420 So, no.
00:04:57.140 I mean, I wouldn't be happy about it.
00:04:59.620 I can't ask you to...
00:05:00.460 So, they just say no.
00:05:01.580 Because no guy's going to want him to, like, force you to have his child.
00:05:04.340 Do you know what?
00:05:04.920 Yeah.
00:05:05.180 But it's like what you said.
00:05:06.440 I feel like because every other box is ticked.
00:05:08.940 I feel secure.
00:05:10.260 I feel like you'll be a good dad.
00:05:13.100 You're in a good position.
00:05:14.500 We can financially handle it.
00:05:16.360 Like, we're...
00:05:16.780 It's fine.
00:05:17.900 I just feel like...
00:05:18.900 The only part is the selfish aspect of me not wanting to have kids.
00:05:21.780 It's because I feel like I just want to live my life.
00:05:23.600 That's the only element.
00:05:25.100 25.
00:05:25.900 What age would you want to have children? 1.00
00:05:28.260 I'm going to rethink it around 28.
00:05:30.920 28.
00:05:31.500 Do you feel like you're not ready to have children yet?
00:05:34.340 I don't feel ready, no.
00:05:35.900 But, like you said, I probably am if it happens.
00:05:39.220 Are you more of, like...
00:05:39.840 Sorry.
00:05:40.380 Are you more of, like, a career person?
00:05:41.820 That's your focus.
00:05:42.940 I am quite career-driven, yes.
00:05:45.320 What do you think, like, will make you happier in the future?
00:05:47.360 Your career or, like, having children?
00:05:50.580 I think having kids and a family and a husband.
00:05:52.960 Oh, yeah.
00:05:53.580 100% over the career.
00:05:55.500 100%.
00:05:56.020 And I want to be a housewife for a period of my life as well.
00:05:58.740 So I'm curious.
00:06:00.620 Like, why not go for that first, then?
00:06:03.560 Because women in my industry, the time is ticking. 1.00
00:06:07.020 What's your industry?
00:06:08.160 Media and presenting.
00:06:10.220 So I can't...
00:06:11.180 I don't know.
00:06:11.800 I got a lady that was 55, like, 50,000 subs in three months. 1.00
00:06:15.880 Oh, yeah.
00:06:16.460 Auntie.
00:06:17.040 Yeah, yeah.
00:06:18.140 No, it's true.
00:06:19.100 And maybe it's society pushing its own standards on me, maybe.
00:06:23.340 And it's scaring me.
00:06:24.200 Yeah, I'll admit to it.
00:06:25.320 It scares me.
00:06:26.040 Don't get me wrong.
00:06:26.060 Being young and beautiful, there is an advantage.
00:06:27.800 Yeah.
00:06:28.200 I'm not going to deny that.
00:06:29.860 Yeah.
00:06:30.080 It's not like you can't have a media career when you're older.
00:06:32.100 It's true.
00:06:32.720 It's true.
00:06:33.280 But I feel like I've still got a bit of time to play with currently for the kids thing.
00:06:37.660 We're running out of time with the kids.
00:06:39.640 We are.
00:06:40.280 How many kids do you want? 1.00
00:06:42.480 About...
00:06:43.160 Maybe just one.
00:06:44.660 Oh, you just want one kid? 0.77
00:06:46.320 Maybe.
00:06:47.160 One or two.
00:06:47.840 One or two.
00:06:48.220 Two, two, two, two. 0.69
00:06:49.300 Two.
00:06:50.820 Okay.
00:06:51.560 Yeah, I guess...
00:06:52.320 Not too many.
00:06:53.360 Not too many.
00:06:54.300 Yeah, just don't play with fire.
00:06:56.100 It's true.
00:06:57.060 Do fertility tests work and stuff? 0.96
00:06:59.480 Like, do they really show you how...
00:07:01.000 Yeah, I think so.
00:07:02.100 Well, isn't that something we can actively practice then?
00:07:04.980 What, fertility tests?
00:07:05.900 Yeah, to see how fertile we are.
00:07:07.840 Yeah, I just...
00:07:08.600 To just know.
00:07:09.280 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:07:09.860 I know girls... 1.00
00:07:10.280 Because I want to do one.
00:07:11.180 I know girls that got to, like, 28 and then they, like, they couldn't have kids.
00:07:15.760 So this is why I'm going to do it, like I said.
00:07:16.980 Yeah, I have to go to the doctors.
00:07:17.780 Especially, like, have you been on birth control at all?
00:07:19.840 No.
00:07:20.300 Okay, no.
00:07:20.820 That's good.
00:07:21.540 Yeah, that's one of the reasons why I came off birth control, because of the fertility situation.
00:07:25.040 I just said, have you?
00:07:26.020 Okay.
00:07:26.420 I just said, have you ever been on birth control and you said no?
00:07:29.140 And then you said that's fine.
00:07:29.880 No, no, no, as in, I haven't been on it for a very long time.
00:07:32.640 So that's one of the reasons, like, as in ages.
00:07:36.520 So, yeah.
00:07:37.380 Okay.
00:07:38.760 Do you feel like you're above average?
00:07:41.300 And what do you bring to an above average woman? 1.00
00:07:44.420 Oh, see, I think it's, like, super arrogant to say, but, you know, for, like, the average male in 2023, it's not hard to be above average.
00:07:52.500 Like, if you break it to categories, like, physically, spiritually, career-wise, friendship, relationship with family,
00:07:57.500 I feel like physically, I train every day.
00:08:01.040 So, in that sense, I feel like I'm above average.
00:08:04.780 You said the statistic earlier about being over six foot.
00:08:06.900 Luckily, I'm 6'1", so that's another thing above average.
00:08:09.200 Oh, okay.
00:08:09.720 In terms of career, like, I've had a mad career.
00:08:12.060 I've achieved a lot.
00:08:12.940 I've got a degree for my mum, in case anything else failed.
00:08:15.880 I've achieved all my goals I set out in the modelling world.
00:08:19.880 Oh, you're a model?
00:08:20.700 Yeah, model and actor.
00:08:21.640 So, I've achieved, it took me, like, six years to achieve all of them goals.
00:08:24.500 What did you do?
00:08:25.780 For the, for the goals in the modelling.
00:08:27.580 So, like, for example, like, when I was 24, I used to stand in, like, Birmingham City Centre and look at a billboard,
00:08:32.060 and before I ever did a photo shoot my whole life, and say, one day I'm going to be on there,
00:08:35.020 then it'd be, like, international bookings, then it'll be stores in London,
00:08:37.880 then it'll be certain brands I'd want to shoot for, this and that, and then, yeah, I did them all.
00:08:41.820 And they were all very, like, clearly written out next to my bed.
00:08:45.400 I ticked them all off as I go along.
00:08:47.080 And then, um, showed so much gratitude along the way as well.
00:08:50.080 So, it's just, like, because, you know, when you come from nothing, like, when you have something,
00:08:53.160 it's, like, it's, like, the best feeling ever.
00:08:54.880 So, yeah, in that sense, I feel like I do, in terms of, like, spiritually, I've been on my spiritual journey,
00:08:59.080 found peace within myself, I've revisited old stuff, um, my communications, A1 in relationships, things like this.
00:09:05.120 So, I think I bring a lot.
00:09:06.440 And the question you asked earlier about when I'm, like, when I speak to a female,
00:09:09.720 I ask them questions, and I say, like, what do you bring to the table?
00:09:12.720 Because I'm bringing X, Y, Z.
00:09:15.500 But, yeah, now I'm, like, I've kind of, like, bulletproofed my philosophies in regards to what I want in a relationship.
00:09:22.220 So, I very much know if this person's going to be the one for me.
00:09:26.040 I feel like that's the stage I'm at now.
00:09:27.340 You know, it's funny, like, everything you said was, like, results-oriented.
00:09:30.500 So, you said you're above average in looks, but if you model, you're top 20% in looks, roughly,
00:09:35.620 because you wouldn't get a modeling contract if you weren't.
00:09:38.080 Yeah.
00:09:38.400 I think that's, like, a, um, is it subjective?
00:09:40.580 And it's what society dictates as well, what's, like, popping at the time.
00:09:43.100 It's really not subjective.
00:09:43.760 No.
00:09:44.800 No.
00:09:45.240 Like, if you look at dating app data, people tend to find the same types of people attractive.
00:09:49.500 But there's some people that would, like, hate tattoos, or some people that would hate...
00:09:52.120 I mean, there's, like, a little bit of subjectivity to it, but not really, like...
00:09:57.100 Not a lot.
00:09:57.860 No.
00:09:58.480 Okay.
00:09:59.040 Yeah.
00:09:59.840 But, yeah, in that sense.
00:10:00.440 And then when you say, like, I had this in my career, like, you listed the accomplishment.
00:10:04.040 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:10:04.760 No, it's just interesting, because when men answer, they usually answer more, like, results,
00:10:08.080 where it's, like, girls, it's more, like, feelings.
00:10:10.120 Yeah.
00:10:10.580 Yeah.
00:10:11.160 I feel like that.
00:10:12.060 I was just banned on TikTok, and we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform.
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