JustPearlyThings - July 21, 2023


Masculinity Coach Said This About PR0N


Episode Stats


Length

9 minutes

Words per minute

224.22655

Word count

2,196

Sentence count

178

Harmful content

Misogyny

10

sentences flagged

Toxicity

2

sentences flagged

Hate speech

6

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we discuss the difference between money and looks in the dating world. Is money more important than looks in a relationship? Is it more important to have money or to have a good job? How much money does a guy need to have in order to be a good man?

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 Money makes a guy more confident and more, like, he's worthy for...
00:00:05.300 I get the other side of the coin, though.
00:00:06.340 I get a lot of, like, millionaire clients.
00:00:07.800 I was telling you before the show, a billionaire client.
00:00:10.640 And they're just trying to lead with that.
00:00:12.720 So they're like, I'm just going to pick her up in the Ferrari.
00:00:15.020 I think show the house.
00:00:16.460 A guy being in touch with his masculinity is what makes him attractive.
00:00:19.880 And he doesn't need money for that.
00:00:20.960 I agree.
00:00:22.620 Yeah, he doesn't need money for that.
00:00:24.400 But the question was, money or looks?
00:00:26.640 Yeah.
00:00:26.940 We need to go deeper into it.
00:00:28.840 Exactly.
00:00:29.060 But one thing also, when, first of all, money can just tell you more about his ambition.
00:00:35.680 That's what I was saying.
00:00:36.320 Yeah, it's up to something.
00:00:38.380 Fitness is more important than money, for sure.
00:00:40.600 Because your body, your health will give you everything.
00:00:43.980 Mental health.
00:00:44.740 You can have your money today, you lose it tomorrow.
00:00:46.940 And you will be left alone with the girl that you picked.
00:00:50.020 And you'll be with the man that you picked.
00:00:52.200 And it's a duty to work a life together.
00:00:54.800 That's a commitment to a relationship.
00:00:56.120 Would you guys agree that if your guy was unemployed,
00:00:58.460 he only has so much time before you would leave?
00:01:02.120 Yes or no?
00:01:02.900 No.
00:01:03.220 Depends on the context.
00:01:03.960 It depends on what he's doing in that unemployment.
00:01:04.960 Let's say five years, no job.
00:01:06.340 Oh, that's a bit crazy.
00:01:07.320 No.
00:01:07.600 Like, no job at all.
00:01:08.960 No.
00:01:09.180 I need, I believe that the man is the lead.
00:01:15.680 Like, he is the one that takes charge.
00:01:17.620 And if he doesn't hold that up, I just feel like, I couldn't stay with someone.
00:01:23.340 There needs to be a drive.
00:01:24.660 When you're working, there's a drive.
00:01:26.140 There's a motivation.
00:01:27.240 Like, you're working.
00:01:28.180 I'm working.
00:01:28.880 Like, we're in this together.
00:01:30.560 Like, I couldn't be with a man that's just, that's no motivation.
00:01:33.320 For me, that's just being lazy.
00:01:34.620 If I'm being honest.
00:01:35.600 I think it depends, you know, because it depends if he's willing to work,
00:01:39.540 if he's motivated to work.
00:01:40.620 Whereas if he's not motivated and he's fine, he's just chilling with no job,
00:01:44.040 no money for five years, then it's a bit of a problem.
00:01:45.760 But if he's motivated, he knows what he wants to do,
00:01:48.080 he's just working towards his goals or he's willing to work towards his goals,
00:01:51.420 then I feel like, that's okay.
00:01:53.380 Like, we've all taken time out for ourselves.
00:01:55.300 Five years.
00:01:56.600 You don't know what he, he might want to be a doctor out here.
00:01:58.500 You don't know what he wants to do, baby.
00:02:00.120 You don't know what he wants to do.
00:02:01.200 But like, obviously, everyone's different and we're all quite young as well.
00:02:04.860 Like, no, no, five years is a stretch.
00:02:06.620 I don't believe that.
00:02:07.160 Everyone has their own opinion.
00:02:08.380 Like, a side hustle.
00:02:10.260 A hard time job.
00:02:11.580 No job.
00:02:11.720 Would you say, would you say a side hustle, Pearl, is a job?
00:02:16.420 Would you class it as the same thing?
00:02:17.800 A side hustle and a job?
00:02:18.580 So, for example, like, OnlyFans.
00:02:24.100 I mean, it's a job.
00:02:25.440 It's still a job.
00:02:27.220 For a man.
00:02:28.200 For a guy.
00:02:30.740 I think it's a job.
00:02:31.840 It's not a career.
00:02:32.820 Okay, yeah, yeah.
00:02:33.520 But it depends on the side hustle.
00:02:35.020 Yeah, yeah.
00:02:35.640 It's a broad, you know.
00:02:36.920 Yeah, it's a very broad.
00:02:37.760 Yeah.
00:02:38.540 This is an extreme example too, right?
00:02:40.140 Like, there's like gradients.
00:02:41.480 Are you talking about like, does a guy need to be rich versus like, have just enough?
00:02:45.960 You're talking about like, unemployed, right?
00:02:47.520 My only point was at some point, if he's not making enough money, we're going to leave.
00:02:51.860 Yeah.
00:02:51.980 At some point, right?
00:02:53.440 Yeah.
00:02:53.700 No, I would agree with that.
00:02:54.560 But I'm saying like, if the guy has like, his basic needs met.
00:02:57.480 Yeah.
00:02:57.780 Like, I've found it doesn't really make much of a difference if he has like, a ton of money.
00:03:01.280 Except for certain girls. 1.00
00:03:02.560 Not in the real world.
00:03:03.220 I thought you meant like, jobless.
00:03:04.720 What's the difference?
00:03:05.800 Okay, is it different in the Eastern European countries versus the West?
00:03:09.840 Yes.
00:03:10.300 I mean, in terms of with money.
00:03:12.040 Yeah.
00:03:12.420 I mean, yeah, because most people are poor, right?
00:03:13.800 Like, like in, in Ukraine and Poland, even in Brazil, like people are making like a thousand
00:03:18.700 dollars a month or less.
00:03:20.260 So like, you know, it's like 10 grand a year or less than 10 grand a year after taxes.
00:03:24.680 So, I mean, you know, it goes back to those as basic needs met, right?
00:03:30.180 That basic needs are met.
00:03:31.140 I haven't found that it makes much of a difference because I've had so many rich clients that
00:03:34.160 are all clueless.
00:03:34.820 Like they're all in their, they're like millionaire circles and like, Hey, we thought this would
00:03:38.320 get us the girls and we got all the money and there's no girls. 1.00
00:03:41.100 And then I have clients that have hardly any money that just crush once they're doing things
00:03:45.760 right.
00:03:45.960 And the girl doesn't even know they don't have money. 1.00
00:03:47.860 But again, like we're talking about like unemployed, like completely broke for years versus at least
00:03:53.640 having basic needs met.
00:03:54.520 Like a lot of guys, like even if they're not doing super well, what's the statistic?
00:03:57.780 It's like 80% of people are living paycheck to paycheck in the U S I think is something
00:04:01.740 like that.
00:04:02.780 So that high.
00:04:03.400 Oh, wow.
00:04:03.780 I'm pretty sure.
00:04:04.420 Yeah.
00:04:04.680 So it's like if, if they don't get paid one week, they can't pay the bills, but that's
00:04:07.960 like almost all guys.
00:04:09.600 Right.
00:04:09.960 So all this like focus on, Oh, you need to go make a lot of money.
00:04:13.720 And there's a lot of creators that say like, forget dating, just go focus on making money
00:04:17.560 when they arrive at the money.
00:04:19.820 If they ever do, most of them don't even get the money, but if they do, it's not like
00:04:23.400 girls just start raining down in their lap. 1.00
00:04:25.460 Right. 0.98
00:04:26.020 Do you guys think that sex is a need that men can't live without?
00:04:30.540 Um, definitely.
00:04:31.940 I think men use something. 0.98
00:04:32.860 I think, yeah, sex is a need that men can't live without.
00:04:37.800 It depends on what you mean though.
00:04:39.220 Like what's the time period?
00:04:41.080 I mean, no, men clearly live without sex and they're just living on corn. 0.72
00:04:45.340 I think if you said, what do you think would happen if there wasn't corn?
00:04:48.540 I think, I think society would be very violent, wouldn't it?
00:04:52.380 I think if you get a lot of men, he's in the animal kingdom, isn't it?
00:04:55.840 It's the same sort of thing, isn't it?
00:04:56.960 You get, you know, one alpha male that's got all the females and the others are always fighting
00:05:00.900 in for position, willing to fight to the death.
00:05:02.960 I think you'd get quite a violent society and that's one of the reasons why monogamy came 0.98
00:05:06.700 about what's to stop that because if you have men that are not having sex and they're not getting
00:05:10.580 that frustration, I guess, out, they're going to take it out on society. 0.94
00:05:13.420 I think if you took away corn away from men, I think men's mental health would suffer tremendously,
00:05:18.840 probably more so than women. 0.99
00:05:19.960 So is corn a net positive or a net negative?
00:05:23.540 It depends on how you see it.
00:05:25.280 I think it can be a negative because it creates, it creates like a false, like a fantasy.
00:05:32.260 And so when, you know, you do go out with guys, they might be like, they might be more
00:05:37.520 forward with sex or certain things because they've seen certain things, they might have
00:05:42.800 that expectation.
00:05:44.240 So I feel like sometimes it can be quite pressuring and it can, I think sometimes as well that
00:05:50.560 corn is sometimes like devaluing women. 1.00
00:05:56.540 I don't know, like it's kind of, it doesn't, it doesn't make sex feel special.
00:06:01.360 Yeah.
00:06:02.280 I don't think it makes it more, like you were saying earlier, like the intimacy just creates
00:06:06.260 a fantasy.
00:06:06.700 See, sometimes I could see where corn is a net negative for guys in an individual level,
00:06:14.380 but I'm just going to play devil's advocate here.
00:06:18.880 I also think it's helped a lot of guys stay faithful in sexless marriages.
00:06:23.040 I was going to say that.
00:06:24.300 I was going to say that.
00:06:25.180 Yeah, 100%.
00:06:25.900 It's so true. 0.84
00:06:27.300 I think there's a place for it because imagine you're one of these guys and your wife has
00:06:30.980 had a kid or two kids or whatever.
00:06:32.180 She's just dealing with life.
00:06:33.600 And I personally am a believer in marriage.
00:06:35.400 I mean, we're getting married soon, right?
00:06:36.720 I believe in marriage, right?
00:06:38.280 I believe if that can keep you going through that period, it's better to engage in that
00:06:44.420 than to actually cheat.
00:06:45.480 Cheat, yeah.
00:06:46.180 And you're going to risk a hell of a lot.
00:06:47.740 And I think corn from that point of view is good.
00:06:49.720 But I think too much of it, like anything, is the issue.
00:06:52.720 There's also an issue where guys don't want to go out and do anything because they're so
00:06:56.140 addicted to corn.
00:06:56.180 Yeah, they're addicted to it.
00:06:57.440 It stops them being about their purpose.
00:06:59.580 They've got these unrealistic views of women. 1.00
00:07:01.580 And for some men, especially men that are more prone to that, it might make them even
00:07:06.060 more violent because they go out and demand it of women.
00:07:09.020 And some men do it by force.
00:07:10.280 I mean, most sexual assault is men, are the perpetrators of it.
00:07:13.360 And I think how much is corn to blame for that?
00:07:16.320 And I think it's tapping into some ancient biological process of men.
00:07:19.260 But you think corn increases sexual assault?
00:07:21.380 I don't see why it would not because if men are frustrated at home and all they know is 0.85
00:07:27.280 just being online, at some point you might want the real thing.
00:07:29.680 Really?
00:07:30.000 I would think it would do.
00:07:30.860 I don't know.
00:07:31.620 But I would think it would do the opposite because it gives them a release instead of
00:07:36.020 going out.
00:07:36.360 But you've seen some issues where men have actually assaulted women where they've had this
00:07:40.700 addiction and they want to play out in real life.
00:07:43.360 You see that often, you know, it's a fantasy and they want to play it in real life and
00:07:46.700 they go by the point of...
00:07:48.300 I haven't seen one.
00:07:49.280 Was there something in the news or...
00:07:51.100 I've never seen that.
00:07:51.960 Wasn't that a policeman that actually got done for that, addicted to that?
00:07:54.900 The one that Sarah Edvard... 0.79
00:07:56.320 I also had that.
00:07:57.440 I think, yeah, he had a porn addiction, did he not?
00:08:00.380 The one that actually dragged the woman off the streets in Clapham.
00:08:03.560 I think he had an addiction with porn, if I'm not right.
00:08:05.480 I mean, don't quote...
00:08:06.220 Corn.
00:08:06.600 Corn, please, please.
00:08:07.460 Sorry, with corn because, you know, and it's natural, isn't it?
00:08:11.880 If that's all you know is the virtual version of something, at some point it's quite easy
00:08:15.980 to spill over into wanting a real version of it.
00:08:18.000 Do you think it's the same thing with video games?
00:08:19.800 Like, men that play video games are going to be more violent?
00:08:22.740 Because I'm pretty sure the evidence was the opposite with that.
00:08:25.180 I definitely don't play video games.
00:08:26.940 I agree with, I think that is true as well because, for example, I don't know about, not really
00:08:33.080 in the UK, but I heard about a lot of school shootings with, like, young people in America,
00:08:39.320 like, it's always to do with guns and always to do with, yeah, like, those kind of, like,
00:08:43.940 video games.
00:08:44.760 So I think that definitely has an impact as well.
00:08:47.300 But then that's, like, everything has an impact with social media and with technology
00:08:52.060 because even what we see online might change the way that we move or we look.
00:08:57.720 So everything does, I think.
00:08:59.660 But I think it's only going to amplify what's already there.
00:09:02.180 What's already there, yeah.
00:09:03.820 So if you're someone that's that way inclined, then, yeah, it might amplify.
00:09:06.260 But I think for most people, playing video games is a way to safely indulge in your fantasies.
00:09:11.080 In the same way, corn would be.
00:09:12.200 Yeah, exactly.
00:09:13.120 With corn, like, you know, like that statistic you cited, it's almost one in three guys.
00:09:17.080 So it's getting, like, really high.
00:09:18.200 And I think it's, like, still upward trending, right?
00:09:20.540 So who knows where that's going to end.
00:09:22.160 But when a guy can just, you know, again, safely, like, go watch corn and deal with that desire
00:09:27.580 and not have to put himself out there and not get his ego bruised or not face, you know,
00:09:31.340 potential legal consequences or anything like that.
00:09:33.540 Plus, most guys have no idea what to do anyways, right?
00:09:36.680 And what I've noticed with so many of my clients is guys genuinely will put in time and effort,
00:09:41.020 in some cases money with a lot of these companies that are supposed to help them,
00:09:45.160 and they still fail.
00:09:46.180 And then they're like, well, what now?