JustPearlyThings - March 19, 2023


@MelanieKing1 Thoughts on black women


Episode Stats

Length

11 minutes

Words per Minute

214.33447

Word Count

2,512

Sentence Count

230

Misogynist Sentences

30

Hate Speech Sentences

19


Summary

In this episode, we discuss why Black women have the lowest rates of marriage and children outside of marriage in the U.S. and the UK, and why this is a problem. We also discuss the role of Black women in society and why they are not as valued as their white counterparts.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 I will say, across the board, black women are the lowest in terms of dating and marrying.
00:00:06.740 In fact, actually, black women are high in dating because we give up sex the most.
00:00:10.720 We're for the streets.
00:00:12.020 We're twerking.
00:00:13.360 We're doing all types—we're doing the most.
00:00:15.080 We dominate rap in the culture that is very sexual, especially in the U.S.
00:00:18.560 So a lot of men see us as easy targets to, you know, to have sex with.
00:00:23.780 And we have the highest rate of having children outside of marriage, wedlock.
00:00:30.000 And so men see us as bed wenches, easy to have sex with, but they don't see us as valuable wives.
00:00:38.840 Our culture, especially in the U.S., I don't know how it is in the U.K.
00:00:41.640 I know it's a little different, but we—our family structure is so broken and so destroyed that we really—the majority of black women in the U.S.
00:00:52.460 We've been put into a position of just being, you know, sexual—just for a man's sexual pleasure.
00:00:59.220 But if they're going to take a woman serious, that's why you see a lot of black men, when they become successful, they're not marrying us.
00:01:04.600 I mean, they do.
00:01:05.880 Okay, let me say this.
00:01:06.520 80 percent of black men are marrying black women, even when they're successful.
00:01:09.800 But there is a huge thing where a lot of black men are going to other races.
00:01:14.120 Why?
00:01:14.960 And a lot of women don't understand.
00:01:16.200 They say the man is racist.
00:01:17.200 It's no—the culture that that woman may have been brought up in, her submissiveness, you know, in our culture, we're being rebellious, you know, dressing provocative.
00:01:27.940 It's standard.
00:01:29.020 It's standard.
00:01:30.120 We hate ourselves a lot.
00:01:32.000 We hate our own hair.
00:01:32.800 We want our butts to be the fattest—we pride ourselves on things of being bosses, having the fattest booty, you know, being able to twerk the best, but not intrinsic values that is a wife.
00:01:45.980 And to speak to Maggie, like, we talk about, like, colorism in our culture, because I think race is not just race, but it's colorism within our own culture, where they prefer light skin, they prefer this, that, and the other.
00:01:59.920 I tell you on God, an attitude like Maggie, a lot of men, like, regardless of anything, like, you know, to me, there's such a peace and an aura about her that a lot of women can learn from of every race, but particularly in the black community, we don't—that's not standard.
00:02:15.980 Model, like, who she is.
00:02:17.940 Like, if you come around Maggie, you just feel loved on.
00:02:20.240 You feel, like, home.
00:02:22.620 And so I think a lot of black women can retain that.
00:02:25.840 But if we're talking about race, we're talking about black women.
00:02:27.620 Let's just be honest about it.
00:02:29.160 We're talking about black women, not—we have the lowest marriage rates.
00:02:34.240 We have the highest birth rates outside of marriage.
00:02:36.840 Why is that?
00:02:37.880 We have the highest number of abortions.
00:02:40.760 And our behavior and the culture we promote, if you look around the world, look at our rappers, look at the culture.
00:02:45.980 Most men see us as sexual tools.
00:02:48.900 Do you—do you agree with what she was saying?
00:02:52.300 Yeah, I do.
00:02:53.560 Do you agree with what she's saying?
00:02:55.000 Yeah.
00:02:55.380 Do you agree with what she's saying?
00:02:58.840 Partly, but not everything.
00:03:00.680 Okay, do you agree with what she's saying?
00:03:02.320 I do.
00:03:03.500 What was the partly?
00:03:04.520 What's the part that you don't agree with?
00:03:06.100 I think, one, that—I don't know all those statistics, but I'm assuming you're talking from the U.S.
00:03:11.220 You know, when you talk about wife culture and wife mindset, Maggie's a wife in this room, but I'm thinking about—
00:03:19.860 But she's rare.
00:03:21.040 She's rare.
00:03:21.460 Her attitude and what she is—in the world, the U.S. has the highest numbers of children born out of wedlock, and the people who dominate that are black women.
00:03:29.280 So this is worldwide.
00:03:30.620 So worldwide—
00:03:31.800 The single mother rate is—
00:03:32.380 The single mother rate is black women.
00:03:34.240 The single mother rate is higher in the U.K. as well.
00:03:36.420 But it's black women who dominate that.
00:03:38.420 But you're saying that we're not raised with this wife mindset?
00:03:42.080 No, we're not.
00:03:42.760 We're not.
00:03:43.100 We're not.
00:03:43.700 And we complain—there's a lot of reasons for it.
00:03:45.700 It's not just because we just are—we're the worst or anything like that.
00:03:49.460 It's not what I mean.
00:03:50.360 But I think that's what you have to break down, because if we're going to then speak to black women and say these things, you have to then come with, one, reasonings, because there's so much—we already get the you are this, you are this, you are that.
00:04:02.280 If we're then going to add to that ourselves, you have to be responsible to add a solution and a background.
00:04:07.200 But the solution is you have to take accountability.
00:04:08.960 I don't care what your background is.
00:04:10.620 We live in the most privileged society in the world, even though the worst circumstance of a black woman today is nothing what it was 100 years ago, especially if you want to talk about the U.S. slavery.
00:04:20.120 I don't know how it was in the U.K.
00:04:21.560 I mean, I do know.
00:04:22.500 It wasn't like it was in the U.S.
00:04:23.940 But if one woman, black woman, made a choice that was—Maggie made a choice that was better than the next black woman, then you have a standard now that you need to live up to.
00:04:31.820 And I think a lot of times we wanted to say, well, it's somebody's fault to the government.
00:04:35.820 It's this, that.
00:04:36.580 A lot of races—you look at the Jewish people and what they've gone through in society, it's a lot of the same atrocities.
00:04:43.700 In fact, all of the Bible, all of the Israelites and the Hebrews were actual slaves.
00:04:48.440 Like, it was a known thing.
00:04:50.820 And so what I'm saying is if we kind of—we have to take accountability.
00:04:53.680 We want to keep pointing.
00:04:54.880 Let's not point any more of what the government and what it is.
00:04:57.780 What do black women need to change today?
00:04:59.440 What are we promoting?
00:05:00.140 Are you twerking?
00:05:00.820 Are your friends twerking online?
00:05:02.240 Are they showing their booty?
00:05:03.620 Are they dressing for the streets?
00:05:04.860 Are they thinking about serving a man?
00:05:06.340 Most black women today, it is sacrilegious.
00:05:09.800 It is almost insulting them to say, serve a man a plate.
00:05:12.240 It is like—discombobulate them.
00:05:15.420 It's almost they get aggressive and mad and call you a pick-me for giving a man a plate, taking his plate.
00:05:20.740 You want some more to drink?
00:05:21.680 You want some more to eat?
00:05:22.860 It's a pleasure.
00:05:23.800 Megan and I were having a conversation.
00:05:25.220 Like, most black women don't know the joy.
00:05:27.240 And I'm not blaming.
00:05:28.440 Get what I'm saying?
00:05:29.740 I'm saying this from a point of view that you don't—a lot of black women don't know the other side of this conversation.
00:05:35.160 We're talking about it is a joy to see a man light up.
00:05:38.060 Like, what's for dinner?
00:05:39.140 Like, excited about bringing the plate and he's so satisfied.
00:05:42.280 You think you have to be sexual to make a man so happy and want you.
00:05:45.980 I'm going to tell you what.
00:05:46.700 We come in and I'm serving your man.
00:05:48.900 I'm taking him.
00:05:49.800 Like, he's gone.
00:05:50.500 He's out of your life.
00:05:51.660 Why?
00:05:52.140 Because I'm coming in with wife features.
00:05:53.860 I don't have to dress a certain way.
00:05:55.580 I don't have to do certain.
00:05:56.320 I don't have to twerk.
00:05:56.920 We have been sexualized.
00:05:59.260 And what you have to understand, the way we are behaving today in our mindsets, we want to blame the government.
00:06:05.040 But you have to understand the mindsets we have today, the independent, sexualized ways that we are.
00:06:10.340 You ought to be mad that that's how you have to be, what our culture has become, because it has been put upon us.
00:06:17.660 Okay.
00:06:17.940 So, for me, my perception—I do agree with a lot of what you're saying.
00:06:21.420 But for me, it comes from a place of let's talk about self-worth.
00:06:24.040 And let's talk about how black girls and black women can increase our self-worth.
00:06:28.740 And therefore, you're coming from a place of help.
00:06:30.720 Because if you're talking about other cultures, the Jewish culture, any other cultures, they are a community.
00:06:34.780 And they don't—I feel like it's only our culture that constantly talks bad about each other so publicly.
00:06:39.380 Yes, it's true.
00:06:40.080 It's true.
00:06:40.560 So publicly.
00:06:41.240 It's true.
00:06:41.660 So if we're going to have this conversation, you come from a place of how can we help each other and bring each other up?
00:06:46.360 Maggie kindly then spoke to this lady and said, can I just say, out of respect, next time, think like this.
00:06:54.560 Next time, put the right things in order.
00:06:56.100 And I think that was the most beneficial thing that she got from this conversation, rather than all the questions of how did this happen?
00:07:00.920 How did this happen to—and be an accusatory come from a place that Maggie was saying, how do we help each other with building up our self-worth and kindness and stop with the constant, well, we're this, we're this, we're this, we're this, we're this.
00:07:15.100 Because we are talking bad about ourselves.
00:07:17.860 But this is the thing.
00:07:18.540 Black women want this soft tone, but we don't give what we want to receive.
00:07:22.560 So we were talking about—but Maggie did.
00:07:24.240 But look at most black women today, there's an aggression, there's a dominance, there is a thing.
00:07:29.440 And I understand because most of us have been raised very masculine because we didn't have fathers in the home, our mothers relied on us, our mothers didn't teach us certain things.
00:07:36.980 So we want what we're not giving out to the world.
00:07:39.540 You want the tone of Maggie, then be Maggie.
00:07:42.280 Like, no one's making us choose the things.
00:07:44.780 Everyone comes from somewhere.
00:07:46.420 My mother was raped at 14.
00:07:48.180 Sorry.
00:07:49.360 I'm sorry.
00:07:49.760 It's okay.
00:07:50.220 It's okay.
00:07:50.580 I'm sorry.
00:07:51.320 I'm sorry.
00:07:52.000 But no fault of her own.
00:07:54.960 Her black mother kicked her out of her house.
00:07:56.860 White nuns took her in.
00:07:58.820 Okay?
00:07:59.280 No fault of her own.
00:08:00.260 She made a choice.
00:08:00.940 She didn't talk to her family for nearly seven years.
00:08:03.120 She decided to go to college.
00:08:04.500 She was going to make something herself.
00:08:06.280 She went on, joined the Air Force, went to college, got her degree.
00:08:09.800 The only person in her family, while the rest of them made different choices.
00:08:13.940 Then she went on.
00:08:14.800 I grew up in the Pentagon because of my mother.
00:08:16.680 I had an internship in the White House because of my mother.
00:08:18.700 Her circumstances were what they were, but she went on to make a different choice.
00:08:22.820 So every time we say these things, and she raised me the way she did to try to get me
00:08:27.900 the results.
00:08:28.880 Doesn't mean I'm perfect.
00:08:29.840 She's not perfect.
00:08:30.480 None of us are perfect.
00:08:31.780 But I think a lot of black women, especially Kevin Samuels, who was my mentor, a lot of
00:08:35.360 black women are against him.
00:08:37.100 He was one of my friends.
00:08:38.240 He was my mentor.
00:08:39.440 And so a lot of women got mad at his tone because they never had a father talk to them
00:08:43.260 and discipline him.
00:08:43.780 He sounded just like my father.
00:08:45.220 So I was like home to me because I knew a man who loves you and love black women.
00:08:50.440 And that's what it was.
00:08:51.420 That's what we were so harping on tone.
00:08:53.300 And we want all this kindness.
00:08:55.000 But are we giving it out?
00:08:56.480 Most black women are extremely aggressive, extremely combative, aggressive.
00:09:02.440 But when they say, well, you need to say it nicer.
00:09:05.060 But are we giving out what we want to receive?
00:09:07.940 Maybe that's where it helps.
00:09:09.020 So if you give it, maybe it will be received and it might just be soaked in and given right
00:09:14.980 back.
00:09:16.340 And I don't say this to put our women down.
00:09:19.220 I know the history of what we've gone through.
00:09:21.500 This is more so we can have a conversation, be real with each other so that we as a community
00:09:26.000 can get better results.
00:09:27.320 If we're not real with each other, especially the older women talking to younger women,
00:09:31.200 I want every woman in this room to win.
00:09:33.120 I have no competition with you.
00:09:34.480 A lot of our mothers, a lot of your mothers are in competition with you.
00:09:38.640 Okay.
00:09:39.220 They don't want you to win.
00:09:40.500 They didn't raise you to be a wife because they didn't understand.
00:09:42.520 They did the best of what they knew.
00:09:44.320 And so it's not a point of putting you down.
00:09:46.460 It's not a point of breaking you down, of us saying, listen, we need to learn from Jewish
00:09:49.880 culture.
00:09:50.520 We need to learn from Latin culture.
00:09:52.300 I got a question.
00:09:53.140 So are we all, so we all want to be more like Meghan Markle or less like Meghan Markle?
00:09:58.480 No, absolutely not.
00:09:59.540 She's a narcissist.
00:10:01.080 I was a fan.
00:10:02.080 My first time coming to the UK was to that wedding.
00:10:04.480 Because I believed in what they were doing.
00:10:06.280 I recently did a video.
00:10:07.480 I was the first black woman publicly on YouTube to say, absolutely.
00:10:10.400 Once I saw the evidence of the simping of Prince Harry and the destruction of his family,
00:10:14.500 boy, but listen, listen, Ruby Bridges, who was the first little girl in the U.S.
00:10:18.920 to go into segregation in the U.S.
00:10:21.560 All the schools are segregated, black and white.
00:10:23.400 She was seven years old, went into a school for the first time, a white school.
00:10:26.920 She was spit on, beat up, brutalized.
00:10:30.120 And she stood what we call 10 toes.
00:10:32.640 She stood taller than Meghan Markle.
00:10:34.460 You do not know.
00:10:35.760 You know, if you look at Martin Luther King, people who went through real racism in the world,
00:10:42.160 Nelson Mandela complained less than Meghan Markle.
00:10:46.120 She was only black when it was convenient.
00:10:48.600 She never stood for us.
00:10:49.660 Why were there no black girlfriends and her black family?
00:10:51.880 She had beef with her white family.
00:10:53.580 Why was her black family not there?
00:10:55.080 The only black people were there were people that she saw black people as charity or black people like Oprah.
00:11:02.160 People she didn't even know.
00:11:03.380 So she didn't love us.
00:11:04.620 She didn't claim us.
00:11:05.400 She did nothing for us.
00:11:06.760 And once I opened my eyes and see she got the right one with Prince Harry being a mark and a simp
00:11:11.500 and he had a bitterness and an anger because he's the spare.
00:11:15.180 But really, y'all need to watch South Park.
00:11:17.800 I'm glad my troll question went on that direction.
00:11:20.620 Can I add like one little?
00:11:21.980 No, no, no, no.
00:11:22.220 No, okay.
00:11:22.820 I will not.
00:11:23.860 Sorry, guys.
00:11:24.680 Sorry.
00:11:25.120 Sorry.
00:11:25.480 I'm gone.
00:11:25.980 I'm gone.
00:11:26.660 All right.
00:11:27.040 Cool.
00:11:27.380 As many of you know, I was just banned on TikTok and we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform.
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