In this episode, we talk about domestic violence and how it affects men and women, and how to deal with it. We have a special guest on the show this week, a man who has never been physically attacked by a woman, but has been sexually abused by women.
00:00:00.000Question for the men. In your experience, do you know more men that have been abused by women or women that have been abused by men? Just anecdotally, no data. Just go around.
00:00:12.460If you mean by abuse, you mean like being hit or verbally?
00:00:24.580I don't know what the statistics are, but in my own life, I have been hit by a woman, attacked, had to call the police.
00:00:36.960Not that I couldn't fight back, but I chose to call the police instead of do what I know my body could do to preserve the situation and prevent any arrest.
00:00:47.060So I can say firsthand in my own experience that in my life, there have been more women attacking men.
00:01:15.640I've known more women, but I've noticed that a lot of them might be lying.
00:01:25.280Also, I've lived in Sweden for five years and they kind of just, to them, sexual abuse, for example, is just some guy looking at them, you know.
00:01:32.760And in Sweden, like they say, like it's, it's like the rape capital of Europe.
00:02:37.740Because, you know, I've never been hit by a girl.
00:02:40.460And for me, the moment even looks like she might.
00:02:43.980The moment even looks like she might, I'd be out there because I don't want to put myself in a position where I feel the need to hit a girl because I know it won't end well.
00:02:54.080So did you guys stay in those situations or did you leave?
00:03:00.500Because I don't, I don't see how it can, that can end well for anyone.
00:03:07.840Like, I mean, once all the emotions come down, you know, there's apologies or whatever, like whatever the issue is, like, there's no, it doesn't end well if it starts with, you know, throwing fists.
00:03:42.600Because I've always, I've heard from guys where like the girls will be super nice and then they get either a kid or a commitment or whatever they wanted.
00:03:49.420There's just like a switch in them and they go crazy.
00:03:52.840Well, what happened at that time was we went from being a couple to like living together.
00:03:59.460So like, and it was, you know, we had disagreements before.
00:04:04.200So like the, it was, it was gradual escalation, you know, and then when it goes to like, goes to fists, you're kind of like, what?
00:04:13.280I know you did not just, you know, it's little things like, you know, like they take a swing or they throw something or like, that's how it kind of starts.
00:04:36.240You know, it's, it's a funny thing because with men, we have that knowledge that with any one of us, if it was just men in the room, we show a level, a minimum level of respect because we know that any one of these guys could knock us flat.
00:04:54.260Even if he's smaller than us, even if he looks dirty and like he ain't put together, he could probably knock us flat if he knew how to fight.
00:05:25.140I would agree with you only if, like, statistically, the statistics show that the level of, let's say, DV in same-sex relationships, so men and men, is just as high, if not higher, actually.
00:06:15.440So his point was that men would, if men in a room had a disagreement, right, and correct me if I'm wrong, they would see that, okay, maybe this guy is a bit bigger than me, so they wouldn't confront it in that way, whereas women are given a pass, so they know that the man isn't going to necessarily hit them back.
00:07:01.560If I was to have three of these cups and start acting a fool, I don't know which one of y'all is going to take me out.
00:07:08.480So I have to maintain a level of appropriateness that with a woman, even if we're romantically involved, right, if I was with a dude romantically, I would already know what his level of fight is.
00:07:27.720So I would know how far I could take it with him.
00:07:29.820But if I just walked into a room and I didn't know who was in there, I walk into a bar, I see those dudes at the bar, I don't know which one of those is going to be the challenge for me.
00:07:40.680And it's the same with me when I go out interviewing people.
00:07:43.580Like the women are way more reckless, whale attacks.
00:07:46.040Because like if I'm with a guy and a girl starts acting crazy, he's just going to pull her aside and tell her to stop.
00:07:56.280But if it's another dude, like you might get punched.
00:07:58.480Like if another dude's acting aggressive towards me, there's going to be a group of guys that just start like coming to defend me because it's just like guys have an innate, you know.
00:08:08.160But even when we were doing interviews, that group of girls, why are you looking at me like that, man?
00:08:34.840I would never do that to a girl because I kind of know that, you know, it's just a bit, it's a bit techie if, you know, someone sees that.
00:08:41.900But I think in society, there's not as much of a stigma on women putting their hands on men generally.
00:08:46.460And so a lot of women are a lot more okay with doing it, even if the exact same movement or, you know, action from a man would be seen as, well, what are you doing?