JustPearlyThings - April 11, 2023


MEN are MORE ABUSED than WOMEN

Hosted by
Hannah Pearl Davis
Mentioned
Adam Sandler
She SCHOOLED This Modern Woman@MelanieKing1 Housewife are in HIGH DEMAND

Episode Stats


Length

9 minutes

Words per minute

183.85

Word count

1,764

Sentence count

156

Harmful content

Misogyny

15

sentences flagged

Toxicity

4

sentences flagged

Hate speech

5

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we talk about domestic violence and how it affects men and women, and how to deal with it. We have a special guest on the show this week, a man who has never been physically attacked by a woman, but has been sexually abused by women.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 Question for the men. In your experience, do you know more men that have been abused by women or women that have been abused by men? Just anecdotally, no data. Just go around.
00:00:12.460 If you mean by abuse, you mean like being hit or verbally?
00:00:16.260 Yeah, physically. Let's start physically.
00:00:18.820 I guess I know more men have been hit by women.
00:00:22.480 More men that have been hit by women.
00:00:24.580 I don't know what the statistics are, but in my own life, I have been hit by a woman, attacked, had to call the police.
00:00:36.960 Not that I couldn't fight back, but I chose to call the police instead of do what I know my body could do to preserve the situation and prevent any arrest.
00:00:47.060 So I can say firsthand in my own experience that in my life, there have been more women attacking men. 0.90
00:00:55.020 What was, did it come out of nowhere?
00:00:58.300 No, I saw it coming. I was prepared.
00:01:00.840 Okay.
00:01:01.580 She had been out all night drinking with her friends on a girls' night out.
00:01:04.800 I was home with the baby.
00:01:08.360 Yeah, the baby didn't want to go to sleep because she just likes to stay up and kick it with me and listen to music. 1.00
00:01:14.080 Four in the morning, she shows up.
00:01:15.640 I've known more women, but I've noticed that a lot of them might be lying. 1.00
00:01:25.280 Also, I've lived in Sweden for five years and they kind of just, to them, sexual abuse, for example, is just some guy looking at them, you know.
00:01:32.760 And in Sweden, like they say, like it's, it's like the rape capital of Europe. 0.95
00:01:37.040 Great. 0.95
00:01:37.500 And the reason why, excuse me, sorry.
00:01:39.680 The reason why is because apparently, that's not me saying anything, but apparently a lot of them are lying about it.
00:01:46.940 So I don't really know.
00:01:48.880 I've had, I've caught girls lying about it though. 1.00
00:01:51.820 I've caught girls, girls saying that they've been beaten up and they went to court and everything in terms of the other guy was innocent.
00:01:57.220 So you never know.
00:01:59.640 Also, us guys, we don't, we don't, we tend not to address it as much.
00:02:04.340 Like we don't.
00:02:05.340 We'll be embarrassed about it.
00:02:06.540 Yeah.
00:02:06.860 It's, it's, you know, I've been in one situation.
00:02:09.820 It was a while ago, but I didn't talk about it for years.
00:02:14.460 And then someone was like, I don't even know that happened.
00:02:17.260 We, we don't, you know, because we know if, you know, the authorities get involved, we often look like the bad guy.
00:02:26.860 You know, even the woman could be 100% apart. 1.00
00:02:31.060 We look like the bad guy.
00:02:32.400 So.
00:02:33.040 Can I ask a question though?
00:02:33.680 Cause.
00:02:34.960 Oh, sorry.
00:02:35.620 It's me.
00:02:36.980 Can I ask a question?
00:02:37.740 Because, you know, I've never been hit by a girl.
00:02:40.460 And for me, the moment even looks like she might.
00:02:43.980 The moment even looks like she might, I'd be out there because I don't want to put myself in a position where I feel the need to hit a girl because I know it won't end well.
00:02:54.080 So did you guys stay in those situations or did you leave?
00:03:00.500 Because I don't, I don't see how it can, that can end well for anyone.
00:03:04.320 Bro, it was a wrap 30 seconds later.
00:03:06.800 It was over after that.
00:03:07.840 Like, I mean, once all the emotions come down, you know, there's apologies or whatever, like whatever the issue is, like, there's no, it doesn't end well if it starts with, you know, throwing fists.
00:03:19.960 You feel me?
00:03:20.580 So that's, that's the way that I saw it.
00:03:22.340 So, you know, there was apologies after that, but I was kind of like, plus I'd sort of seen it before with other people.
00:03:28.780 So I was, I was like, that never ends well.
00:03:31.100 And I knew, even not fully understanding what I wanted for me in a relationship, I knew that for sure that wasn't for me.
00:03:38.680 So I was out.
00:03:39.900 Was there, was there like a switch?
00:03:42.600 Because I've always, I've heard from guys where like the girls will be super nice and then they get either a kid or a commitment or whatever they wanted.
00:03:49.420 There's just like a switch in them and they go crazy.
00:03:52.340 Yeah.
00:03:52.840 Well, what happened at that time was we went from being a couple to like living together.
00:03:59.460 So like, and it was, you know, we had disagreements before.
00:04:04.200 So like the, it was, it was gradual escalation, you know, and then when it goes to like, goes to fists, you're kind of like, what?
00:04:13.280 I know you did not just, you know, it's little things like, you know, like they take a swing or they throw something or like, that's how it kind of starts.
00:04:22.520 So it's like little things.
00:04:23.500 Yeah.
00:04:23.700 And you're kind of like, that was weird.
00:04:25.360 And you're kind of like, yeah, you ain't going to do nothing.
00:04:27.440 A swing is not a little thing.
00:04:29.700 Is that like a thing in the US though?
00:04:31.420 Because I've noticed that a lot with people from the US.
00:04:34.200 I mean, you're all from the US.
00:04:36.240 You know, it's, it's a funny thing because with men, we have that knowledge that with any one of us, if it was just men in the room, we show a level, a minimum level of respect because we know that any one of these guys could knock us flat.
00:04:54.260 Even if he's smaller than us, even if he looks dirty and like he ain't put together, he could probably knock us flat if he knew how to fight.
00:05:01.640 We don't know.
00:05:02.520 So we respect.
00:05:03.280 With women, that threat is reduced. 1.00
00:05:08.180 And there are women out there that will take advantage of this fact. 1.00
00:05:12.520 They will attack a man knowing that his guard is down and that he won't fight back, especially if he's a good guy.
00:05:21.040 Yeah.
00:05:21.420 Can I disagree with you?
00:05:23.420 Of course.
00:05:23.760 Please do.
00:05:24.320 Let's spice this up.
00:05:25.140 I would agree with you only if, like, statistically, the statistics show that the level of, let's say, DV in same-sex relationships, so men and men, is just as high, if not higher, actually.
00:05:43.000 So how do you account for that?
00:05:45.760 Women and women have the highest DV rates.
00:05:48.000 And it's actually one-sided abuse.
00:05:50.700 More women do it than men. 1.00
00:05:52.340 But men and men is higher than men and women.
00:05:57.600 No, women and women is the highest. 0.99
00:05:59.560 Oh, yeah.
00:05:59.940 I'm not disputing that.
00:06:01.040 But men and men is still higher than men and women.
00:06:05.820 I don't think.
00:06:07.020 Oh, you're saying men and men is higher.
00:06:08.400 Men and men in a relationship.
00:06:09.540 So it goes women and women than men and men. 1.00
00:06:11.720 Yes.
00:06:12.200 And then heterosexual relationships.
00:06:15.440 So his point was that men would, if men in a room had a disagreement, right, and correct me if I'm wrong, they would see that, okay, maybe this guy is a bit bigger than me, so they wouldn't confront it in that way, whereas women are given a pass, so they know that the man isn't going to necessarily hit them back.
00:06:34.680 I think it's more so heterosexual.
00:06:36.440 I may reply to that.
00:06:36.940 I may reply to that.
00:06:36.980 I think it's more so heterosexual men.
00:06:38.480 Yeah, exactly.
00:06:39.260 Now we're talking about men in a room that don't know each other, assuming that everyone is a heterosexual male.
00:06:47.660 Just like tonight, I came in.
00:06:49.320 I didn't meet everybody.
00:06:50.540 I just met everybody tonight.
00:06:52.760 So I don't know what everybody's sexual orientation is.
00:06:56.680 I don't know what everybody's fighting level is.
00:07:00.560 I don't know. 0.86
00:07:01.560 If I was to have three of these cups and start acting a fool, I don't know which one of y'all is going to take me out.
00:07:08.480 So I have to maintain a level of appropriateness that with a woman, even if we're romantically involved, right, if I was with a dude romantically, I would already know what his level of fight is. 0.92
00:07:27.720 So I would know how far I could take it with him.
00:07:29.820 But if I just walked into a room and I didn't know who was in there, I walk into a bar, I see those dudes at the bar, I don't know which one of those is going to be the challenge for me.
00:07:39.120 So I have to be careful.
00:07:40.680 And it's the same with me when I go out interviewing people.
00:07:43.580 Like the women are way more reckless, whale attacks. 1.00
00:07:46.040 Because like if I'm with a guy and a girl starts acting crazy, he's just going to pull her aside and tell her to stop. 0.61
00:07:56.280 But if it's another dude, like you might get punched.
00:07:58.480 Like if another dude's acting aggressive towards me, there's going to be a group of guys that just start like coming to defend me because it's just like guys have an innate, you know.
00:08:08.160 But even when we were doing interviews, that group of girls, why are you looking at me like that, man?
00:08:13.000 I didn't do anything, okay?
00:08:16.080 You didn't do enough.
00:08:17.300 No, I'm kidding.
00:08:18.820 I got us the content.
00:08:20.240 Why would you let her back?
00:08:21.700 I got us the content.
00:08:22.780 That's what matters.
00:08:24.180 You got it, got it, got it.
00:08:25.480 When we were going out to that group of girls, one of them wanted to be interviewed, but the other one didn't.
00:08:31.220 What's it called?
00:08:32.140 When the girls started grabbing me and putting hands on me, right? 1.00
00:08:34.540 Yeah.
00:08:34.840 I would never do that to a girl because I kind of know that, you know, it's just a bit, it's a bit techie if, you know, someone sees that.
00:08:41.900 But I think in society, there's not as much of a stigma on women putting their hands on men generally.
00:08:46.460 And so a lot of women are a lot more okay with doing it, even if the exact same movement or, you know, action from a man would be seen as, well, what are you doing? 0.96
00:09:00.040 Like that's wrong.
00:09:01.300 So I think that's also another thing.
00:09:03.180 There's not as much stigma.
00:09:04.840 Yeah.
00:09:05.160 Because modern women don't have consequences for bad behavior because they, I mean, did you hear about that teacher in the U.S.? 1.00
00:09:13.760 She slept with a 13-year-old and got 60 days in jail and now she's out. 0.79
00:09:17.800 Isn't that a movie also with Adam Sandler?
00:09:20.100 Yeah.
00:09:20.880 I think that's...
00:09:21.780 And even that OnlyFans model that killed her boyfriend, she was out of jail because she's a pretty girl. 1.00
00:09:29.640 Like they didn't even keep her for a week and she's out.
00:09:33.520 Thank you, OnlyFans.
00:09:33.860 Thank you, OnlyFans.