JustPearlyThings - December 26, 2022


Men Should AVOID These WOMEN


Episode Stats


Length

14 minutes

Words per minute

207.71179

Word count

2,952

Sentence count

2

Harmful content

Misogyny

13

sentences flagged

Hate speech

5

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we discuss what we look for in a partner, what red flags to look out for and what to look for when dating or in a relationship when it comes to money and spending habits. We also discuss how to spot red flags and how to deal with them.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 question for the men for the men um have you ever dated someone with bad spending habits
00:00:06.720 and is that something you look for and when you're considering taking someone seriously so let's
00:00:11.840 start on this this side of the room and go around uh yeah i think that a lot of what i'm hearing
00:00:17.680 right now is i'm obviously 35 years old so i've kind of been doing the 25 year old 26 27 all the
00:00:23.440 way to the point where i was like something's gonna give with this i used to go out i used
00:00:26.880 to do the cars the clothes the this the that um and i mean those girls that are chasing that sort 1.00
00:00:33.040 of stuff i mean it was it was fun for the while when we were doing it do you know i mean it was
00:00:37.360 those nights was crazy you were found you see my not they're doing that big yeah all right cool but
00:00:42.000 then when the lights come on and you're sitting at home with your hangover and your pockets are empty
00:00:46.800 you start going to yourself oh what the fuck did i do that for like you see what i'm saying so enough 0.84
00:00:51.360 of that and then also you start checking yourself and obviously for guys women can heavily influence 1.00
00:00:56.400 that like going out of your home you're just splitting bills everybody's buying balls everybody's
00:00:59.920 doing their thing but when you have pretty girls especially pretty girls or other guys in the club
00:01:03.600 who are flashing cash or trying to attract as well you know it's it's fucking tiring man and i think 0.98
00:01:09.600 that a lot of people even a lot of guys who make a lot of money will turn around and would say that
00:01:13.360 they would prefer to have somebody that they could take that money with and go on holiday or or buy
00:01:18.560 things for their house or there's so many other ways and other places to spend that sort of cash so
00:01:23.120 i had to knock that one on the head um me and my girlfriend like to cook more now bottle of wine 0.99
00:01:29.920 nice movie do you know what i mean and it's cool i wake up saturday morning i'm like ah i'm alive you
00:01:36.400 know okay what about you the spending habit something you look at um when looking at a girl for a
00:01:42.720 relationship so i was predominantly raised by my mom so i feel like i always i'm not i don't i'm not saying
00:01:50.400 it's a good thing but i always look at my mom's example and what she did and what she does in
00:01:55.840 terms of her example and sets for me and i always think okay if i got into this situation or did go
00:02:04.240 into relationship and your spending habits were like this would i would i like the example you set
00:02:11.600 safe for anything if we were to have children if we were to do anything would i think hmm my mom would 0.99
00:02:17.760 approve of you she'd say to me oh yeah you're so lucky to have someone that does this or would she
00:02:22.800 look at me a bit like what what red flags will you look for red flags yeah like what is there a certain
00:02:30.320 lifestyle of girls living that you're just like so for in yeah like for me it'll be if you look at the 0.73
00:02:36.880 next person too much if you see someone's wearing this kind of designer and you want it and it's like
00:02:44.240 you follow by example you're not a leader and that's just in terms of i want someone that is
00:02:50.880 a leader you know what you want and it's not because someone else is showing you it's because
00:02:55.120 you're like i'm a visionary i'm gonna set the example and i feel like i always look for are you
00:03:03.200 leading by example are you being a sheep i'm following because your friends see something and
00:03:07.040 they're like oh i want this this balenciaga bag so i want this and i'm gonna spend it on this and then
00:03:12.160 you're like you know what rent's a bit tight this month i can't pay it and you're like why so i feel
00:03:18.480 like i always look to the example of would like in my head it's always would my mom approve of you
00:03:25.360 would mom look at me and be like i'm so proud of what you're doing and the person you chose is your
00:03:32.160 life partner because if it's not then it's like you can't stay and obviously i feel like people always
00:03:38.560 change so it's like you never know at the start it could start off really good and you could be like
00:03:43.520 wow like you're so amazing you're literally everything i imagined but then obviously
00:03:48.400 everything's a facade sometimes when you get into relationship at the start it's always people are
00:03:52.080 going to present their best selves like we can all argue you can get into relationship and everyone's
00:03:56.240 going to show they're a money man they're a money girl they're about their business and then you can
00:04:00.560 get six months one year three years into a relationship and then they'll turn around and be like
00:04:05.680 like you'll see the real them it's not even them showing you it'll be it all begins to fade
00:04:10.160 naturally and then i feel like it's always you kind of see everything for yourself and i feel that
00:04:16.640 it's always important to if you see a red flag you need to leave even if it's and i'm not saying
00:04:22.080 straight away you're like oh red flag let me jump out and run away now it's like if it can if it
00:04:28.160 happens continuously you either bring it up or you leave and i feel that a lot of people in our
00:04:33.360 generation they might decide to stay and they will look at that red flag ignore it and then you're
00:04:40.080 always just going to be in a cycle and i feel that that's what past generations have done you've seen
00:04:44.480 a cycle you've been brought up in an atmosphere where it's always been well if you see a red flag
00:04:50.480 it's fine because you always look at ah they bring money to the table and i feel that we always need to
00:04:55.760 in this generation ignore red flags like not ignore red flags we need to address them i feel that it's always
00:05:02.320 important to address something that is bothering us because in past generations they'll tell you
00:05:06.160 yeah we've been married for 65 years and then you're like okay so what red flags were brought up
00:05:12.560 and you chose to ignore because i feel like that's always an important question to him like
00:05:21.360 i feel like that's always an important question to address and i feel like oh it's more among the like
00:05:26.240 the younger kind of generation is like we will the younger generation will start jobs quit them and
00:05:34.560 be like it's not what i want and i feel like the older generation are always the ones telling you
00:05:39.200 oh we need to stick it out we need to you need to be you can work in like sainsbury's and they'll be
00:05:44.960 like you need to stack them shelves you need to be like one of the best and you need to stay at the job
00:05:49.120 and do this and that and then the younger generation will be like nah i will skip this yeah yeah so what about you
00:05:54.720 spending habits have you ever um passed over a girl for spending because she has bad spending habits 0.99
00:06:00.560 yeah i mean i mean i've had experiences of that i'm staying away from that never going back to that
00:06:06.960 just because i think that someone that has a bad spending habit and relies on you to to to support that
00:06:16.560 it's like a uh a sinking ship do you know what i mean what what was your experience with that
00:06:23.440 well oh she just wanted you to pay for everything no i don't mind pay for i've never gone on a date
00:06:28.960 where a lady i've split the bill before in my life it's just not the way i was what about when girls 1.00
00:06:33.360 say um you can't afford me oh god i run i run i run like i literally run safe let me know like i
00:06:41.840 really literally just run away from those kind of women there is a tick tock i saw where it was like
00:06:47.040 the girl and the guy it was like two ups workers and the girl was like you can't afford me and he's
00:06:51.680 like we have the same job i don't know it's funny but sorry go ahead no no it's always the way they
00:06:59.120 try to make you feel less than a man because of of whatever you can't take them to buy them whatever
00:07:04.800 fancy bag or like you know take them to a proper nightclub or something like that and i walked in
00:07:09.440 in like nightlife for like 10 years and i saw the sort of this sort of facade if a girl is really about
00:07:15.840 money then she can be easily bought that's my opinion she can be easily bought by a 1.00
00:07:21.520 next person so if you even spending a couple dropping a couple of bags on her it just all
00:07:26.080 it takes is a no is a bigger man to come and he'll take her so she was never yours it was just your turn
00:07:36.800 what the men in the swim like what would you define as a a bad spending habit in your opinion
00:07:42.880 uh someone who doesn't have that you have priorities do you see i'm saying oh is my rent paid is my bills
00:07:49.600 paid is everything that i need to carry on this month sorted out before i go off and buy lavish
00:07:56.720 uh nights out with my girls or uh shoes or clothes or do you know what i mean yes like having your
00:08:02.320 priorities in order first yeah opposed to having it the other way around so let's just say those
00:08:07.360 priorities are in order for a particular woman but she still expects certain things from you
00:08:12.480 mm-hmm are you now what are these certain things you have to specify i don't know like just to say
00:08:17.440 she wants to go out to a certain restaurant and she expects you to pay for that okay well what has
00:08:22.560 what has she done in the relationship to say that i so it requires her to be a certain status in the
00:08:28.640 relationship absolutely so you're down for it just depends on well if if for example i only see you on
00:08:34.320 the weekends and you bring nothing really to my life except for you getting done up and wanting to go
00:08:38.320 out to fancy restaurants that's a no you know if you're somebody who who if you know what i'm doing
00:08:44.080 and you know what i'm about because you spend that sort of time with me and i tell you about my business
00:08:48.400 and you go oh you know what i might know somebody or how can i help or whatever whatever you deserve
00:08:52.960 those nights out not just oh i got my down girl i'm gonna take him you're gonna make him take me out
00:08:57.440 that's a no i hear what you're saying yeah my brothers um they like won't date girls if they feel like
00:09:04.960 their lifestyle is too expensive my brothers they all make six figures and they can they can afford
00:09:09.440 like they could afford a lot for a woman but like if a girl comes in expecting of them to pay for all 1.00
00:09:16.080 their shit and like i don't know they just won't it's just too much of a headache i can't afford you 0.92
00:09:22.560 potential holes as a man potential holes in this in your in your boat if you're a man and the ship
00:09:27.920 represents you those are those are holes because what you think what you have to look at is in long term
00:09:33.280 about how that woman is exactly you know how like if she's like that and she's moved especially
00:09:38.560 through social media yeah she's really like you know socially conditioned to move by what
00:09:44.480 was going on in social media she's going to put holes in your sheet or imagine i would say yeah 1.00
00:09:51.920 i feel like it's harder to maintain financial kind of like expectation then like emotional and like
00:10:00.080 everything so if you go into relationship the kind of emotional expectation you expect you
00:10:06.640 you know it's coming you know sometimes women will expect a certain thing but if you're making
00:10:11.600 a certain amount of money and women are like ah we need to go on dates and you need to pay for 1.00
00:10:15.040 everything i want this bag i want this like i want this hill i want this and then you're going
00:10:19.520 to look at it like it's a bit much and it's like can i say something yes wait wait no go ahead what'd
00:10:27.120 you say me yeah yeah no i'm just like hearing these scenarios and i would never go in to a
00:10:33.200 relationship with these types of expectations so i maybe it's an i mean so i'm i mean i'm just as
00:10:38.960 like a genuine quick i'm i'm in receiving mode like i'm taking it all in like i actually never really
00:10:43.600 think to ask my guy friends these things so this is interesting to hear a guy's perspective
00:10:47.040 but are women saying these things to y'all so a certain type yes 1.00
00:10:53.200 but you know everything that we've said has been generalized yeah and this is and i think that
00:10:58.160 this is the thing it's it's a huge it's a huge um character trait of of women in america especially 1.00
00:11:03.360 i mean this is where it's all popularized from the music the the hip-hop lifestyle all the sort of
00:11:08.160 all the sort of uh icons i'll give you an example so i a lot most of the times when i ask girls how
00:11:15.280 much they want a guy to make that they would take seriously it it's typically more than what they
00:11:20.720 make well i would prefer to date someone that made at least what i make preferably more but like i
00:11:27.600 would probably fit into that category but i don't speak to men that way i don't have those types of
00:11:32.640 expectations yeah but the problem is like um like what do you make over 75 000 yes over 100. not not
00:11:40.080 anymore okay i had to take a pay cut to come to the uk roughly 100 like maybe in the us i made over
00:11:46.400 100 and that was like six months ago so 100 that's top 10 guy but that's what i'm making no and that's
00:11:52.800 and that's fine but men don't care about your money so that it's like nothing it's kind of like if a
00:11:56.800 guy tells us he has a shoe collection it's kind of cool but we're not like attracted to it we're like
00:12:01.600 yes it's okay i mean i mean i don't know i i mean i understand your perspective and i'm not saying
00:12:07.200 that you're wrong but like kind of going back i'm sorry i don't remember your name but kyra kyra what
00:12:13.200 he was saying earlier about this generation like we were being cognizant of building generational wealth
00:12:19.040 like the conversations i'm having with my friends like my peers my friends who make over six figures
00:12:24.640 like my male and female friends like we are thinking about like all the things that he talked about
00:12:30.080 that's the comp those are types of conversations we're having we're talking about who we're what
00:12:34.160 we're investing in what stocks like that's like what's happening within my social circles so like
00:12:40.160 the problem the problem is women women talk about it but like the data doesn't stack up women's 1.00
00:12:44.720 how much more you think a woman spends in a lifetime than a man even though we make less yeah
00:12:48.640 i'm sure we like i'm not arguing with like whether or not we spend like that's not what i'm talking
00:12:53.280 about but what i am saying is that you said that men don't care about what women how much you make and
00:12:58.160 i'm saying at least within my social circles i haven't found that to be the case because
00:13:02.880 men that i have communicated with men that i've chatted to guys i've dated especially black men
00:13:08.160 like we want to build generational wealth like we've seen we've experienced what happens when
00:13:12.960 that is not the forefront of the of like the relationship so we talk about goals like financial
00:13:19.120 goals that we have like together like i so i at least that's what i've converse so like when i have
00:13:24.640 those those types of standards or wants i should say although i would like for a guy to make at
00:13:29.600 least what i make um so i'm i'm curious um the guys that you're talking to are they your friends
00:13:36.000 yeah yeah and and you make a good amount of money yeah i mean not again i took a pay cut to come
00:13:41.920 to the uk so they're probably trying to sleep with you i have platonic mail so as many of you know i
00:13:53.200 was just banned on tick tock and we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform if you want to
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