JustPearlyThings - June 17, 2023


Modern Day LOVE is TRANSACTIONAL @ModernLifeDating


Episode Stats

Length

8 minutes

Words per Minute

190.12126

Word Count

1,641

Sentence Count

119


Summary


Transcript

00:00:00.000 I'm curious. You don't have to answer this, but I'm just curious.
00:00:03.400 You keep talking to me. I'll answer anything.
00:00:05.740 The other content creators in the space that push non-monogamy,
00:00:09.960 is that what you found when you've met their girlfriends?
00:00:12.400 Something has been off.
00:00:13.600 No, this is not a diss at any of these guys or any of their women or any of the things.
00:00:19.440 All I'm saying is from my life experience and talking to other people
00:00:23.720 who are really good at understanding female nature and are dating coaches
00:00:27.680 and my experience as well because I did the whole thing.
00:00:30.660 I tried to openly tell multiple women I was dating them at the same time
00:00:35.920 and it was hell.
00:00:37.620 What happened?
00:00:38.540 It was hilarious because female pettiness knows no end.
00:00:43.520 There was this medicine cabinet in my penthouse that I was living in, Tokyo.
00:00:50.480 One girl would put her stuff in there and another girl started snooping through it
00:00:55.780 and there was two Japanese girls and a Chinese girl
00:00:58.040 and they all started like this silent civil war.
00:01:03.120 Of toothbrushes.
00:01:04.140 Of toothbrushes and makeup in this little medicine cabinet
00:01:08.080 and all it did, despite me getting sex and servitude from all these women,
00:01:13.380 it stressed the fuck out of me.
00:01:15.800 And I was just stressed out from their bullshit fighting at all times.
00:01:19.240 They never got in line and they all, all three of them vented to me
00:01:24.440 every time we got together on how much they hated the other girls.
00:01:29.480 And eventually I lost all three of them.
00:01:33.240 So am I a low value beta male?
00:01:35.920 I don't know.
00:01:36.720 Should I tell you what I think the mistake in that is?
00:01:40.760 I think it sounded like they were all three of them
00:01:44.660 had the position of being your main woman.
00:01:46.580 Uh, no, there was, there was a, there was a hierarchy there.
00:01:51.140 Yeah.
00:01:51.260 But what I mean is you were giving, you were giving all three of them
00:01:54.040 a level of emotional and time investment, right?
00:01:57.380 As opposed to having one main girl, right?
00:02:00.560 And then she's like, okay, she understands that maybe every now and again,
00:02:04.300 you may exercise a physical option,
00:02:07.140 but that woman isn't going to be leaving her toothbrush around
00:02:09.980 because that woman you're not really dating seriously.
00:02:12.100 Do you understand what I'm saying?
00:02:12.980 Yeah, I see what you're saying, but I just don't think it's going to,
00:02:15.500 I don't think it works.
00:02:16.260 I don't because women, women are so competitive with each other
00:02:21.100 and they hate each other and they are so petty.
00:02:25.420 One girl, when she would wash clothes or whatever,
00:02:29.200 and sometimes this other girl left her a bra or panties
00:02:31.480 in my washing machine and she would just take it
00:02:33.560 and throw it behind the washing machine.
00:02:35.560 And then the other girl would always find her underwear.
00:02:37.560 She's like, somebody's throwing my underwear down there.
00:02:39.580 I was like, no, it's my cleaning lady.
00:02:41.100 I'm so sorry.
00:02:41.640 She's from Vietnam.
00:02:45.360 If you also look at how men and women also express themselves though,
00:02:49.520 I say men are a lot more close to the physical side of things
00:02:52.000 and women are a lot more close to the emotional and verbalized side of things.
00:02:56.860 I think he makes a good point.
00:02:57.940 I mean, there's a couple of content creators that spring to mind
00:02:59.980 who are very, very, they really push this line.
00:03:02.380 I think it's bullshit.
00:03:03.340 I don't see it work out.
00:03:04.640 They really push this line of like, no, you've got to be up front.
00:03:08.420 You've got to be honest with her.
00:03:09.440 This is how the deal is going to be, right?
00:03:11.160 You may be my main girl, but I'm going to have sex around.
00:03:16.100 I think it's extremely difficult to pull off, I would say, for the average guy.
00:03:21.180 There may be some guys who can pull it off.
00:03:24.240 And even then, what longevity that's going to have is another thing.
00:03:29.260 And I'm a guy that's, in regards to success,
00:03:33.060 it's very evident that I'm successful.
00:03:36.040 Putting it down in the bedroom, I take care of everybody.
00:03:39.120 Nobody pays for anything.
00:03:40.140 I'm not a fucking sim, I'm not paying bills for any of these hoes.
00:03:43.140 But like, you know, like when they're with me,
00:03:45.300 when they're with me, dinner's covered, Uber's covered, everything's sorted.
00:03:49.560 So, I don't know, am I such a fucking beta male
00:03:52.360 that they just don't submit to my alphaness?
00:03:54.860 I don't think that's the case.
00:03:56.700 I just, and from the women I've talked to,
00:03:59.240 and I asked Pearl yesterday, and now, sorry, is it Hany?
00:04:02.660 Hany, yeah.
00:04:03.200 Hany, again, just reiterated the same fact that
00:04:06.280 she did not want to be in a situation
00:04:09.460 when a man was juggling multiple women.
00:04:11.340 However, however, however, however,
00:04:13.720 if I now push I'm 40, yeah?
00:04:17.260 Yeah.
00:04:17.800 Single, God forbid.
00:04:19.300 Yeah.
00:04:19.500 With no kids, God forbid again.
00:04:21.380 Then, um, my value has decreased massively.
00:04:24.800 So, I'm also aware of that.
00:04:26.380 So, then, from, yeah, to a degree.
00:04:28.920 So, then what I would do is,
00:04:30.020 because I'm desperate at that point,
00:04:31.500 I would be a second wife.
00:04:33.760 But only Islamically,
00:04:35.600 only because I feel like Islamically
00:04:37.420 it can work because there's structure.
00:04:39.560 So, if he has two wives,
00:04:42.240 there's seven days in a week,
00:04:44.800 well, calculate it.
00:04:46.220 Two, three me, three her,
00:04:48.400 then that one odd day.
00:04:49.440 You're 40, you only get, like, two.
00:04:52.320 No, no, no.
00:04:53.220 He has to be even.
00:04:54.720 Or else he's gonna get,
00:04:55.840 he's gonna get a sin.
00:04:57.240 So, the way he works is,
00:04:58.820 this usually, men that are more religious
00:05:01.660 usually take that responsibility
00:05:03.320 because it's a big responsibility.
00:05:05.000 He is responsible for me and her.
00:05:07.140 He has to treat us equally.
00:05:08.820 He can't buy one person a sweet
00:05:10.360 and not buy the other one a sweet tomorrow.
00:05:12.040 And he has to split his days equally.
00:05:14.100 So, that one off day in the week,
00:05:15.920 we are rotating.
00:05:17.300 This week is mine.
00:05:18.180 So, I wanna add on to that.
00:05:20.000 So, and now,
00:05:21.560 that, in my opinion,
00:05:22.980 adds to my original statement
00:05:24.240 because now,
00:05:25.580 this is no longer romantic love.
00:05:27.500 This is transactional love.
00:05:28.480 You're like,
00:05:29.720 all right, well, here,
00:05:30.480 I'll suck your dick on this day
00:05:31.580 and this day.
00:05:32.440 It all sounds very, sort of,
00:05:34.900 structured, doesn't it?
00:05:36.080 Like, overly structured.
00:05:36.860 I actually, I actually think that most love,
00:05:40.360 likely, is transactional love.
00:05:42.780 To an extent, yeah.
00:05:43.920 Yeah, because, and I think it almost,
00:05:45.640 like, should be in a way.
00:05:47.160 It should be.
00:05:47.920 Yeah, okay.
00:05:48.600 Why do you think it should be?
00:05:49.560 Because, hear me out,
00:05:50.800 women find 80% of men is ugly.
00:05:52.920 Yeah.
00:05:53.400 80% of men, ugly, ugly, ugly.
00:05:55.420 And, yeah, so.
00:05:56.920 I can agree with that,
00:05:57.640 instead of walking around London.
00:05:58.900 What?
00:05:59.160 Yeah.
00:05:59.900 Yeah, so it's like,
00:06:01.280 it's like,
00:06:02.940 women, you know,
00:06:05.540 so it's like,
00:06:06.180 women really only are gonna have
00:06:07.780 genuine desire for, like,
00:06:09.080 20% of men,
00:06:10.060 maybe 25%.
00:06:11.320 So, so, so, it's like,
00:06:13.240 what, the other girls,
00:06:14.320 what do they got?
00:06:14.860 They got a,
00:06:15.460 they either die alone,
00:06:16.420 or, you know,
00:06:17.020 find some transactional love.
00:06:17.780 But are you who's got the,
00:06:18.800 who's got the stat about India,
00:06:20.140 though?
00:06:20.480 Marriages,
00:06:21.000 arranged marriages in India,
00:06:22.160 and how successful they are?
00:06:23.800 All of Hindus,
00:06:25.940 all,
00:06:26.160 all Hinduism,
00:06:27.300 divorce rate,
00:06:29.160 1%.
00:06:29.800 Yeah.
00:06:30.780 Yeah.
00:06:31.080 But you don't think that's more transactional
00:06:32.700 when it's arranged?
00:06:33.420 It is.
00:06:33.800 No, it is transactional.
00:06:34.800 Or it's more like love.
00:06:36.040 Well, listen, marriage,
00:06:38.260 the reason why Westerners suck at marriage,
00:06:41.140 namely women,
00:06:42.380 is because they are based,
00:06:45.460 they're basing the backbone
00:06:47.100 of their relationships on feelings.
00:06:50.300 Yeah.
00:06:50.440 And feelings are a fleeting thing.
00:06:53.080 Yeah.
00:06:53.200 Feelings do not stay.
00:06:55.480 It's changing,
00:06:56.660 and it's coming and going.
00:06:57.940 And if you're a person
00:06:59.100 who lives your life
00:07:00.440 based upon your feelings only,
00:07:02.360 you're gonna have an awful life.
00:07:04.120 Right.
00:07:04.220 Your relationship's gonna be awful.
00:07:06.100 Marriage is not based upon feelings.
00:07:08.280 Marriage is a logical commitment
00:07:10.260 between two people,
00:07:12.160 for better,
00:07:12.640 for worse,
00:07:13.300 for richer,
00:07:13.960 for poor,
00:07:14.740 for sick,
00:07:15.200 or for health.
00:07:16.220 Am I wrong here?
00:07:17.020 In general?
00:07:17.720 I've got a question for that as well,
00:07:20.860 though.
00:07:21.220 The only reason why
00:07:22.120 is because the only things
00:07:23.540 I'm factoring here,
00:07:24.680 I'm also factoring
00:07:25.740 the biological side of things as well.
00:07:28.460 Yeah.
00:07:28.600 And it's like,
00:07:29.080 to some degree,
00:07:29.880 yeah,
00:07:30.140 it's very easy for like,
00:07:31.540 and this isn't in defense,
00:07:32.560 it's just like my opinion in it.
00:07:33.640 It's very easy for like,
00:07:34.760 us as men here to be like,
00:07:35.780 yo,
00:07:35.980 boom,
00:07:36.680 a female should be logical.
00:07:37.880 Like,
00:07:38.020 say,
00:07:38.200 let's say I'm arguing with my girlfriend,
00:07:39.240 I could be,
00:07:39.560 I could be thinking,
00:07:40.380 yo,
00:07:40.800 she really should be thinking this.
00:07:42.300 But I really do also believe
00:07:44.080 that on the flip side of things,
00:07:45.420 I don't understand that chemistry at all.
00:07:47.780 So it's like,
00:07:48.460 it's like,
00:07:48.920 it's that battle to find that balance
00:07:52.020 of you should be logical here
00:07:53.780 to some degree,
00:07:54.680 but you're also battling this,
00:07:56.880 like,
00:07:57.040 how do you do that?
00:07:57.980 Because earlier when you were making a point
00:07:59.480 and you were saying that,
00:08:00.920 that,
00:08:01.280 oh,
00:08:01.480 was it you that making a point that,
00:08:02.620 oh,
00:08:03.080 some females,
00:08:03.760 you know,
00:08:03.940 they want a bit more attention,
00:08:05.020 da, da, da, da, da.
00:08:05.540 And then you made a point earlier
00:08:06.820 saying that,
00:08:07.600 oh,
00:08:07.860 as long as it's equal.
00:08:09.060 But did you see the energy she had
00:08:10.240 when she said,
00:08:10.760 but if he misses that one day,
00:08:12.160 if he misses that one day,
00:08:16.280 that's a sin.
00:08:18.440 So already why,
00:08:20.280 because I like to like,
00:08:21.180 listen to everyone this week after,
00:08:22.440 like,
00:08:23.180 from analyzing that,
00:08:24.420 she proved a point.
00:08:25.560 She proved that to some degree,
00:08:27.120 her emotion will come into it,
00:08:28.340 yeah.
00:08:28.620 And if he does slip up
00:08:29.800 from the statistical transactional side of things,
00:08:32.120 things can go left.
00:08:32.980 And then the issue is,
00:08:34.700 when things go left,
00:08:35.660 how will women react to it going left?