JustPearlyThings - June 17, 2023


Modern Day LOVE is TRANSACTIONAL @ModernLifeDating


Episode Stats


Length

8 minutes

Words per minute

190.12126

Word count

1,641

Sentence count

119

Harmful content

Misogyny

23

sentences flagged

Hate speech

9

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we are joined by a very special guest, Hany. Hany is a content creator and dating coach who has dated multiple women at the same time in his life. We talk about what it's like dating multiple women and how to deal with them.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 I'm curious. You don't have to answer this, but I'm just curious.
00:00:03.400 You keep talking to me. I'll answer anything.
00:00:05.740 The other content creators in the space that push non-monogamy,
00:00:09.960 is that what you found when you've met their girlfriends?
00:00:12.400 Something has been off.
00:00:13.600 No, this is not a diss at any of these guys or any of their women or any of the things.
00:00:19.440 All I'm saying is from my life experience and talking to other people
00:00:23.720 who are really good at understanding female nature and are dating coaches
00:00:27.680 and my experience as well because I did the whole thing.
00:00:30.660 I tried to openly tell multiple women I was dating them at the same time
00:00:35.920 and it was hell.
00:00:37.620 What happened?
00:00:38.540 It was hilarious because female pettiness knows no end. 1.00
00:00:43.520 There was this medicine cabinet in my penthouse that I was living in, Tokyo.
00:00:50.480 One girl would put her stuff in there and another girl started snooping through it 0.91
00:00:55.780 and there was two Japanese girls and a Chinese girl 0.84
00:00:58.040 and they all started like this silent civil war.
00:01:03.120 Of toothbrushes.
00:01:04.140 Of toothbrushes and makeup in this little medicine cabinet
00:01:08.080 and all it did, despite me getting sex and servitude from all these women, 0.81
00:01:13.380 it stressed the fuck out of me.
00:01:15.800 And I was just stressed out from their bullshit fighting at all times.
00:01:19.240 They never got in line and they all, all three of them vented to me
00:01:24.440 every time we got together on how much they hated the other girls. 0.99
00:01:29.480 And eventually I lost all three of them.
00:01:33.240 So am I a low value beta male?
00:01:35.920 I don't know.
00:01:36.720 Should I tell you what I think the mistake in that is?
00:01:40.760 I think it sounded like they were all three of them
00:01:44.660 had the position of being your main woman. 0.99
00:01:46.580 Uh, no, there was, there was a, there was a hierarchy there.
00:01:51.140 Yeah.
00:01:51.260 But what I mean is you were giving, you were giving all three of them
00:01:54.040 a level of emotional and time investment, right?
00:01:57.380 As opposed to having one main girl, right?
00:02:00.560 And then she's like, okay, she understands that maybe every now and again,
00:02:04.300 you may exercise a physical option,
00:02:07.140 but that woman isn't going to be leaving her toothbrush around 1.00
00:02:09.980 because that woman you're not really dating seriously.
00:02:12.100 Do you understand what I'm saying?
00:02:12.980 Yeah, I see what you're saying, but I just don't think it's going to,
00:02:15.500 I don't think it works.
00:02:16.260 I don't because women, women are so competitive with each other 1.00
00:02:21.100 and they hate each other and they are so petty.
00:02:25.420 One girl, when she would wash clothes or whatever, 0.98
00:02:29.200 and sometimes this other girl left her a bra or panties 1.00
00:02:31.480 in my washing machine and she would just take it 1.00
00:02:33.560 and throw it behind the washing machine.
00:02:35.560 And then the other girl would always find her underwear. 1.00
00:02:37.560 She's like, somebody's throwing my underwear down there.
00:02:39.580 I was like, no, it's my cleaning lady.
00:02:41.100 I'm so sorry.
00:02:41.640 She's from Vietnam.
00:02:45.360 If you also look at how men and women also express themselves though,
00:02:49.520 I say men are a lot more close to the physical side of things
00:02:52.000 and women are a lot more close to the emotional and verbalized side of things. 1.00
00:02:56.860 I think he makes a good point.
00:02:57.940 I mean, there's a couple of content creators that spring to mind
00:02:59.980 who are very, very, they really push this line.
00:03:02.380 I think it's bullshit.
00:03:03.340 I don't see it work out.
00:03:04.640 They really push this line of like, no, you've got to be up front.
00:03:08.420 You've got to be honest with her.
00:03:09.440 This is how the deal is going to be, right?
00:03:11.160 You may be my main girl, but I'm going to have sex around. 1.00
00:03:16.100 I think it's extremely difficult to pull off, I would say, for the average guy.
00:03:21.180 There may be some guys who can pull it off.
00:03:24.240 And even then, what longevity that's going to have is another thing.
00:03:29.260 And I'm a guy that's, in regards to success,
00:03:33.060 it's very evident that I'm successful.
00:03:36.040 Putting it down in the bedroom, I take care of everybody.
00:03:39.120 Nobody pays for anything.
00:03:40.140 I'm not a fucking sim, I'm not paying bills for any of these hoes. 1.00
00:03:43.140 But like, you know, like when they're with me,
00:03:45.300 when they're with me, dinner's covered, Uber's covered, everything's sorted.
00:03:49.560 So, I don't know, am I such a fucking beta male
00:03:52.360 that they just don't submit to my alphaness?
00:03:54.860 I don't think that's the case.
00:03:56.700 I just, and from the women I've talked to,
00:03:59.240 and I asked Pearl yesterday, and now, sorry, is it Hany?
00:04:02.660 Hany, yeah.
00:04:03.200 Hany, again, just reiterated the same fact that
00:04:06.280 she did not want to be in a situation
00:04:09.460 when a man was juggling multiple women.
00:04:11.340 However, however, however, however,
00:04:13.720 if I now push I'm 40, yeah?
00:04:17.260 Yeah.
00:04:17.800 Single, God forbid.
00:04:19.300 Yeah.
00:04:19.500 With no kids, God forbid again.
00:04:21.380 Then, um, my value has decreased massively.
00:04:24.800 So, I'm also aware of that.
00:04:26.380 So, then, from, yeah, to a degree.
00:04:28.920 So, then what I would do is,
00:04:30.020 because I'm desperate at that point,
00:04:31.500 I would be a second wife.
00:04:33.760 But only Islamically, 0.99
00:04:35.600 only because I feel like Islamically
00:04:37.420 it can work because there's structure.
00:04:39.560 So, if he has two wives,
00:04:42.240 there's seven days in a week,
00:04:44.800 well, calculate it.
00:04:46.220 Two, three me, three her, 0.98
00:04:48.400 then that one odd day.
00:04:49.440 You're 40, you only get, like, two.
00:04:52.320 No, no, no.
00:04:53.220 He has to be even.
00:04:54.720 Or else he's gonna get,
00:04:55.840 he's gonna get a sin.
00:04:57.240 So, the way he works is,
00:04:58.820 this usually, men that are more religious
00:05:01.660 usually take that responsibility
00:05:03.320 because it's a big responsibility.
00:05:05.000 He is responsible for me and her.
00:05:07.140 He has to treat us equally.
00:05:08.820 He can't buy one person a sweet
00:05:10.360 and not buy the other one a sweet tomorrow.
00:05:12.040 And he has to split his days equally.
00:05:14.100 So, that one off day in the week,
00:05:15.920 we are rotating.
00:05:17.300 This week is mine.
00:05:18.180 So, I wanna add on to that.
00:05:20.000 So, and now,
00:05:21.560 that, in my opinion,
00:05:22.980 adds to my original statement
00:05:24.240 because now,
00:05:25.580 this is no longer romantic love.
00:05:27.500 This is transactional love.
00:05:28.480 You're like,
00:05:29.720 all right, well, here,
00:05:30.480 I'll suck your dick on this day 1.00
00:05:31.580 and this day.
00:05:32.440 It all sounds very, sort of,
00:05:34.900 structured, doesn't it?
00:05:36.080 Like, overly structured.
00:05:36.860 I actually, I actually think that most love,
00:05:40.360 likely, is transactional love.
00:05:42.780 To an extent, yeah.
00:05:43.920 Yeah, because, and I think it almost,
00:05:45.640 like, should be in a way.
00:05:47.160 It should be.
00:05:47.920 Yeah, okay.
00:05:48.600 Why do you think it should be?
00:05:49.560 Because, hear me out,
00:05:50.800 women find 80% of men is ugly. 0.64
00:05:52.920 Yeah.
00:05:53.400 80% of men, ugly, ugly, ugly.
00:05:55.420 And, yeah, so.
00:05:56.920 I can agree with that,
00:05:57.640 instead of walking around London.
00:05:58.900 What?
00:05:59.160 Yeah.
00:05:59.900 Yeah, so it's like,
00:06:01.280 it's like,
00:06:02.940 women, you know, 1.00
00:06:05.540 so it's like,
00:06:06.180 women really only are gonna have 1.00
00:06:07.780 genuine desire for, like,
00:06:09.080 20% of men,
00:06:10.060 maybe 25%.
00:06:11.320 So, so, so, it's like,
00:06:13.240 what, the other girls,
00:06:14.320 what do they got?
00:06:14.860 They got a,
00:06:15.460 they either die alone,
00:06:16.420 or, you know,
00:06:17.020 find some transactional love.
00:06:17.780 But are you who's got the,
00:06:18.800 who's got the stat about India,
00:06:20.140 though?
00:06:20.480 Marriages,
00:06:21.000 arranged marriages in India,
00:06:22.160 and how successful they are?
00:06:23.800 All of Hindus,
00:06:25.940 all,
00:06:26.160 all Hinduism,
00:06:27.300 divorce rate,
00:06:29.160 1%.
00:06:29.800 Yeah.
00:06:30.780 Yeah.
00:06:31.080 But you don't think that's more transactional
00:06:32.700 when it's arranged?
00:06:33.420 It is.
00:06:33.800 No, it is transactional.
00:06:34.800 Or it's more like love.
00:06:36.040 Well, listen, marriage,
00:06:38.260 the reason why Westerners suck at marriage,
00:06:41.140 namely women, 1.00
00:06:42.380 is because they are based,
00:06:45.460 they're basing the backbone
00:06:47.100 of their relationships on feelings.
00:06:50.300 Yeah.
00:06:50.440 And feelings are a fleeting thing.
00:06:53.080 Yeah.
00:06:53.200 Feelings do not stay.
00:06:55.480 It's changing,
00:06:56.660 and it's coming and going.
00:06:57.940 And if you're a person
00:06:59.100 who lives your life
00:07:00.440 based upon your feelings only,
00:07:02.360 you're gonna have an awful life.
00:07:04.120 Right.
00:07:04.220 Your relationship's gonna be awful.
00:07:06.100 Marriage is not based upon feelings.
00:07:08.280 Marriage is a logical commitment 0.97
00:07:10.260 between two people,
00:07:12.160 for better,
00:07:12.640 for worse,
00:07:13.300 for richer,
00:07:13.960 for poor,
00:07:14.740 for sick,
00:07:15.200 or for health.
00:07:16.220 Am I wrong here?
00:07:17.020 In general?
00:07:17.720 I've got a question for that as well,
00:07:20.860 though.
00:07:21.220 The only reason why
00:07:22.120 is because the only things
00:07:23.540 I'm factoring here,
00:07:24.680 I'm also factoring
00:07:25.740 the biological side of things as well.
00:07:28.460 Yeah.
00:07:28.600 And it's like,
00:07:29.080 to some degree,
00:07:29.880 yeah,
00:07:30.140 it's very easy for like,
00:07:31.540 and this isn't in defense,
00:07:32.560 it's just like my opinion in it.
00:07:33.640 It's very easy for like,
00:07:34.760 us as men here to be like,
00:07:35.780 yo,
00:07:35.980 boom,
00:07:36.680 a female should be logical. 1.00
00:07:37.880 Like,
00:07:38.020 say,
00:07:38.200 let's say I'm arguing with my girlfriend,
00:07:39.240 I could be,
00:07:39.560 I could be thinking,
00:07:40.380 yo,
00:07:40.800 she really should be thinking this.
00:07:42.300 But I really do also believe
00:07:44.080 that on the flip side of things,
00:07:45.420 I don't understand that chemistry at all.
00:07:47.780 So it's like,
00:07:48.460 it's like,
00:07:48.920 it's that battle to find that balance
00:07:52.020 of you should be logical here
00:07:53.780 to some degree,
00:07:54.680 but you're also battling this,
00:07:56.880 like,
00:07:57.040 how do you do that?
00:07:57.980 Because earlier when you were making a point
00:07:59.480 and you were saying that,
00:08:00.920 that,
00:08:01.280 oh,
00:08:01.480 was it you that making a point that,
00:08:02.620 oh,
00:08:03.080 some females, 0.98
00:08:03.760 you know,
00:08:03.940 they want a bit more attention,
00:08:05.020 da, da, da, da, da.
00:08:05.540 And then you made a point earlier
00:08:06.820 saying that,
00:08:07.600 oh,
00:08:07.860 as long as it's equal.
00:08:09.060 But did you see the energy she had
00:08:10.240 when she said,
00:08:10.760 but if he misses that one day,
00:08:12.160 if he misses that one day,
00:08:16.280 that's a sin.
00:08:18.440 So already why,
00:08:20.280 because I like to like,
00:08:21.180 listen to everyone this week after,
00:08:22.440 like,
00:08:23.180 from analyzing that,
00:08:24.420 she proved a point.
00:08:25.560 She proved that to some degree,
00:08:27.120 her emotion will come into it,
00:08:28.340 yeah.
00:08:28.620 And if he does slip up
00:08:29.800 from the statistical transactional side of things,
00:08:32.120 things can go left.
00:08:32.980 And then the issue is,
00:08:34.700 when things go left,
00:08:35.660 how will women react to it going left? 1.00