Modern Feminist Got SCHOOLED For Saying THIS
Episode Stats
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223.91849
Summary
In this episode, we discuss what it means to be a feminist in the modern dating world and what that means for the modern woman. We discuss what feminism means to us as women and how it means for us as single women. What does it mean for single women to be feminist and what does that mean to single women?
Transcript
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don't recognize when you go out and you dress and you speak who do you represent when you go out as
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a woman in the relationship your husband right so when you're at school and you're in uniform you
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represent the school yeah when you go out as a child you represent your parents if you have a
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man you represent your man you're a couple so people gonna know that if he sees you on a on a
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podcast and you're doing god knows what you're gonna represent him people gonna know that's so
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and so's woman so you have to listen to him you don't don't he doesn't tell me what to do but i
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have to take his feelings into account do you flip that do you flip that and to say does he represent
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you as well when he's doing stuff yeah well then do you do you have authority over him to give him
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permission to do stuff or not yes he won't do anything we discuss everything it works both
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ways but he has the final decision he has the final decision if he's going to do something and
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he says i'm going to do that and i'm like do you know what i don't agree with that because it's
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been so long 32 years and counting because it's been so long he he will know that there must be a
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reason behind it that i don't agree with him now he will even listen to me as i would do him because i
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don't have to take everything he says as gospel it's up to me whether to take it or not i will
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listen to him rather than listen to my friends because women will finally listen to their friends
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what about most of us that haven't had 32 years and so are you saying that i've been with my man
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two years and i must what he says goes this is what my struggle is what i'm trying to say you've been
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able to build that trust you've been able to know that he's got your best interest at heart yeah you've
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been able to know that he has your right your right intentions but most of us haven't had 32
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years to practice all that you know so i can't adopt your position can i say something do you know
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something right you as a woman would know within the first six months whether that man is for you
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i can't say that because i would know didn't end up wherever me personally i would know i was a single
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parent just like you i was a single parent and we split up but when i met him back he was a single
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parent so i know that anything he says if it jars in my heart i have to think to myself you know what
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that don't feel right let me discuss it but if i think to myself i am not going to be a detriment
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then i'll go with it because it's not harming me so if he if i think in my head as a woman that what
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he's saying doesn't benefit me or harms me i will discuss it and then because it's not the fact that
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oh what he says goes i will discuss it with him and i want to hear where he's coming from because all
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right then for instance you've got a man and you both of you have a favorite artist
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and the favorite artist gives you two free tickets to go and then your man looks at a ticket and says
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you know what you're not going what would you do like this conversation couldn't happen with my man
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anyway honestly i think that i think the modern relationship is way too uh it what no let me say
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the modern relationship i'm looking for is way too equal in terms of opinion and position there's
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there's a conversation it's about what's making me happy and if it's taking my best friend to that
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concert he wants to see me smile and he wants to see me happy that's what's going to happen in that
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concert but you didn't answer the question so the question was i asked you what would you do like
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when he asks you to do something that you don't want to do or to not to not go somewhere that you
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want to go to i will consider his feelings but if it's in my best interest i cannot put myself the
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only man or the only being is god that can tell me by speech by prayer okay sorry whatever by message
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god says obey your man the man's the head he's my man he's my man he didn't put a ring on it
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but then you should be with him until you put the ring on it right but what i'm trying to say is
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if i'm a feminist what does it mean for me as a single woman that's what i'm trying to understand
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from this conversation okay so can i try to add a little bit of context on it because it's like a
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okay so basically what what what they're saying is okay so yes working taking out the rubbish doing
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all of these things are seen as as masculinity right however i don't think we're speaking in that
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regard because obviously these are things that have to be done you have to take out the rubbish you have
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to work you have to do these things but i think we're especially as a single person however we're
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basically saying but you're still a feminine that doesn't make you masculine what makes you masculine
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is when you're like so let's put everything in context now so i said i made the same statement as
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auntie right so i'm going to put things into context if i wanted to go shopping in tesco's for
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example i don't need his permission right because i'm going tesco's and i'm doing food shopping
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if somebody invites me to a club or some kind of event then i need to sit down and speak to him and
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explain to him where i'm going what type of event is what kind of people are there all right let's
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so let's say for example i'll put an outfit on and i put on a short dress and and my breasts are
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revealing okay now if he says to me you look nice babe go out and have a good time as soon as he's
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finished that sentence me and him are done because me i can't be the guy like that to me that's a simp
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okay so if my my man or my husband says to me you need to go back and you need to change because what
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you're wearing is inappropriate now look a lot of people will be like no why why i can wear what i
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want if i want to wear but you're not you're not thinking because if you if you're going out with your
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husband right and you go to a club or a place and you're wearing a short skirt and your breasts are out
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you're there's a huge possibility that you're going to put your husband in a situation no but
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he's next to me okay wait let me land let me land okay so for example my fiance right if me and him
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went out to a place and he wouldn't let me wear that anyway in the first place but let's say he did
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and we went out to a place right and a guy comes and and taps my bum why would he do that because they
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do that well because i'm wearing a short skirt yes yes i've seen that many times but you can also do that
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in jeans too right yeah but still if you it's less likely right and if he does do that if i had a bbl
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you will tap my ass not necessarily but look look look we we have to go by intentions if i come to a
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place and i'm properly covered up jeans and a guy does that he's getting smoked right there's no if
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so but about it because this girl is respecting herself she's dressed up nice and you've come out of
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your way yeah and you've you've slapped her ass now my fiance if he was with me right and somebody did that
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there's a huge possibility he's going to jail for life but then you're wearing tight jeans why not
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wear this one long skirt in it if we're going if you're going to do if you're going to do what
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you can wear a long skirt yeah you want no curves no nothing you can you that's what you should do
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then because you're calling for it also with the little tightness and no okay wait get it getting
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away from the clothes get hold on getting away from the clothes i you guys this is what i'm so confused
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about it auntie you kind of did it and then walked to a more agreeable area you guys talk about things
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that are basic relationship norms but you like frame them in the most toxic way possible i don't understand so you
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talk about like if i'm gonna wear something and go out to a club my boy my my boyfriend my husband
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whatever is going to approve of it which to some extent like can make sense in a relationship context
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but if you flip that around if your boyfriend or husband says i'm gonna go out to party you know and
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there's like you know 10 girls there and like two guys i imagine you have to okay that right you'd have
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to tell him whether or not you give him permission to do that no yes okay so you guys frame these things
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like my my husband is the ultimate authority and blah blah blah but that's not true for all you guys
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it's a back and forth like you're going to be okay what he does he's going to be okay what you do
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that has nothing to do with masculinity or femininity or anything like that that's just like two adults
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having a relationship figure out what the boundaries are thank you yeah so so what do you mean by your
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place when you say auntie because what does he saying that it is an equal exchange of um looking out for
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each other no i think when i when i with me i'm different because if i'm gonna wear a short skirt and
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something sexy i'm always gonna wear it with my man mostly i wear it at home but if i want to go
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out and i say to him what do you think about this and do you know what what um destiny said
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what we've been saying is just normal normal respect for each other and i respect him and his decisions
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and his opinions and he will respect mine so it's not like i'm blindly following where he wants to go
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because if he wanted to go somewhere or talk to certain people i've said in the past you know what
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i don't like your friends and as a man i will say you know i'm not gonna say don't go out of them i'm
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saying this watch out for this this is what i spotted this this this and this and i let him go ahead
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and eventually he would not you know what you were right so it's just about respect but i find that
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these modern people now they don't have the basic respect for each other as many of you know i was
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