Modern Shares Her Experience With Men
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
217.33626
Summary
In this episode we talk about how important it is to communicate with your partner and how to deal with a lack of communication in a relationship. We also talk about the difference between men and women when it comes to communication.
Transcript
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I wanted to ask about icks. Okay, women have icks, men have icks. So I want to talk about
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what is the last time you've broken up with someone over something? Like what was the ick
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or like stopped going on dates with someone? I'm curious from the women, tell me the last like
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ick you got with someone you were seeing. I would say like he has some sassy gestures like
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just picking stuff up like the way you drinking out of a glass. We're sitting at the movies
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and you got to have like... Is it the pinky? Is it like the tea with the pinky? It's the
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it's holding like why are you eating a popsicle as a grown man like I don't know. I saw a tiktok
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and it's like men have to eat certain stuff like break it off like the banana like you
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need to be breaking the banana off and toss it in your mouth like you don't need to be
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doing all these sassy gestures. So yeah, that's definitely ick for me because why are you so loose?
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He can stop with the sassy gesture. She can't un-age.
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Mine has been for communication. I can't deal with somebody that doesn't communicate well with
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me. Okay. What does that actually mean? Communication as in we can have our conversation right
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but if you're still walking away and saying well you're still in the wrong that wasn't the
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communication wasn't really there because you've listened to what I've said but I'm still in the wrong.
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So you're talking about arguments specifically?
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Yeah. Because it depends on what the argument is about. It may not have wanted to be an argument.
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It may have just been something that I've brought up and now I may be the bad one because I've nagged.
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Yeah, we could but then that's why I would rather walk away from it.
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Either way, that's where the relationship ends because if I can't,
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if I actually cannot open my mouth and say it's yeah, I feel like I'm being.
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But why do you have to express to him? Can't you like?
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Because what I'm hearing it just I could be wrong.
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I don't know you right but from what you're saying it sounds like codependency where the
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other person needs to adhere to all of your emotional needs.
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So what I would say is why can't you let it build up a bit but at least then you keep
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the peace in the home and then maybe you can call your mum or you can call your friend and go
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he did this really annoying thing but it's a little annoying thing.
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Yeah, no, I don't believe that relationship should be involved in family members and friends.
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I'm sorry, I'm not going to call my friend and be like, oh, he did this.
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Yeah, unless it's something big, what am I even talking about anyway?
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Right, but you said you mentioned the word nagging.
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Yeah, so it gets classed as nagging because it may be something that I've brought up.
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And it's been swept under the carpet and I've let it go.
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Could be like six months later now and I've decided, you know what,
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Can I have an example of like, what, what, you're thinking of a situation.
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But you see, okay, but you see how broad this is to a guy.
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And they think, that's all women says, communication.
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But I mean, at least just try and take in whatever I may be expressing at the time.
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But what if it feels like it's gone over your head?
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It sounds, I had a friend who went through a situation similar to this in the way his
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To me, it's, it kind of sounds like you need, you just needed him to tell you everything's
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I just wanted to know if what I'm saying, you actually feel that it is stupid or you agree
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If there, if we haven't come down to a decision of, yeah, you're being over, like over the top.
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Sometimes it's not what you say, it's how you say it.
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And sometimes a lot of women are very aggy and it's just a bit of an itch for me.
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It is how you approach it and how you, yeah, open up the conversation.
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You're not going to accept them calling you stupid though.
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If the option was stupid, how would you react to that?
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I'd want you to explain why the fuck I'm being stupid.
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But you know what it does, it ends up coming down to that, the cycle of the argument,
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how women get into arguments with guys and the whole communication.
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You get an argument going, he fires back, you get five minutes of his attention,
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but he's fired up and he's passionate with you.
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It could be something simple like every day I'll ask you,
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babe, can you make sure that the dishes that you put in the sink, you wash it?
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If I've now dealt with that for a whole year and after a year,
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I'll be like, you know what, babe, I've dealt with you not washing the dishes
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that I've asked you every single day to make sure you wash.
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And then you come up with some silly response of, well,
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Don't you just accept that he's not going to wash the dishes in the sink?
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I'm just thinking, what else is the chick there for?
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But I mean, you have to remember, I'm a mother at the end of the day.
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I have to keep reminding you not to do something.
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Like, you're not supposed to try to control someone.
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If that's the way you're even going to put it, ain't no daughter of you
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is going to tell me, I told you to wash the plates.
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No, but the fact is that how men don't wash their plates.
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No, but the point is, even if it's an example, that is the way you gave the example.
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So that's more than likely the way you gave the example.
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Is that how you approach, though, on a normal day?
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That's how she's probably going to approach it.
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Because if that's not how she was going to approach it, she would have given the example.
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I mean, I'm very, I like to get my point across.
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Do you get angered very quick by men in a relationship?
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Yeah, because it's very much learning to understand the person that you're with.
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I feel like, correct me if I'm wrong, so I feel like your preference of communication
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comes from like, instead of just sweeping on the rug and, you know, leaving you because
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I realized something about you, let me make sure and confirm this is who you are.
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And I'm not saying that's the right mindset, because if somebody is not washing the dishes
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for a year, then they're probably not going to ever wash the dishes, so you need to accept
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But some people would rather communicate, fight through it.
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And maybe if you get some understanding, you can change somebody's mind, not necessarily
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change their habits, but change their mind, get some clarity on, this is how you think,
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this is how you move, this is how the person you are, rather than just sweep it under the rug
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I'm just going to leave you because you've done XYZ.
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Can I ask you, if you does wash the dishes, what's your response?
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I mean, during these conversations, there's always going to be a reason.
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Like, if I'm stating that there's a problem, yeah, I'm going to say this is the problem.
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If you can't give me a reason as to why you do what you do, or you don't acknowledge that
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it's something that irritates me, that is a form of lack of communication.
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It just needs, I just need, I need the man to be understanding.
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I hear what you're saying, but I think, I think the truth is, I think it's all about mindset,
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I don't think most men think, I don't even think people should think like that, of like,
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Like, at the end of the day, if I go into the middle of London and start beheading people,
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I don't think, I don't think it matters why, I think what matters is what is.
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I need, like, from the start all the way to the end.
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Does that not mean that you're lacking meaning somewhere because you're trying to find it
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I've had relationships where, do you know what the man can tell me?
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No, but wait, didn't you say, didn't you say earlier your first question is, well, why?
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But the point is, it's like you're looking for an argument when you do that.
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But we just never hear this because we don't really hear the men's point of view.
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Because if you can't communicate with me, then that's my ick anyways.
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If you can't do that with me, it's just not manning your communication.
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When I hear chicks talk about communication, it always, and I'm telling you just how it sounds to me,
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And I need to tell you every time I'm irritated.
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Not really, because then I wouldn't end up being with some of the people that I have been with,
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because I would say I've compromised with allowing certain things.
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That's the only reason a man says certain things.
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But yeah, I would say I'm willing to compromise with a man.
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Okay, do you feel like men have compromised on you?