Modern Woman Gets ANNIHILATED By This Question
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
190.7302
Summary
In this episode, we have a special guest on the show, a woman who has been with her husband for over 5 years and they have been going out on a regular basis. She talks about how she feels about her husband going out and why she doesn t want him to go out as much as she does. We also talk about the benefits of going out with your partner and how to deal with a partner who doesn't want to spend more time with their kids.
Transcript
00:00:00.000
I have a question though. If your man was like doing his duties towards you, like providing for you and like being there for you emotionally only like a couple of days in a week, like he just, he was lackadestical about it. Sometimes he'll be there for you. Sometimes he just messes around. Would you stay?
00:00:27.840
No, I know. I'm giving you the equivalent because what men and women bring to each other are different. We don't bring the same things.
00:00:34.480
So on his end, if he wasn't holding up to his duties, more than likely you would replace him. And I would say that would be fair.
00:00:42.760
So that being said, do you think it's possible that he could probably find someone that would bring more to the table for him and that could turn his head?
00:00:56.740
And you're willing to take that risk by continuing to go out.
00:01:07.180
Is the kid, is the kid, is the kid biologically his?
00:01:16.900
Like, I don't know the nature of the relationship, right?
00:01:29.160
Do you have any plans to stop going out anytime soon?
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When I say like, okay, I like going to day parties.
00:01:44.780
Like, I like going, having a games night with my girls or a movie night.
00:01:50.380
What if he gave you an ultimatum and said it's either the girls or him?
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So you would give it up if he made it an ultimatum?
00:02:00.800
So if he put his foot down, then you would actually give it up?
00:02:03.140
Well, I don't think I would be happy as a person.
00:02:21.780
And you still ask other guys for advice when there's something up in your relationship?
00:02:28.620
But I'm then saying, oh, do you still sometimes?
00:02:36.820
So in the dating period, yeah, with him in the dating period, I was asking for advice.
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But now, we've been together for nearly five years now.
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So these, and these guys are still in your phone and they're still like talking to you
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Like, what's the, all you got to do is go down to the courthouse.
00:02:58.920
So, so when I got engaged was 2021, but I said I wanted to wait till my daughter turns
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five so she can remember or have a bit of a memory of the wedding.
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I wanted her to be older enough to experience it.
00:03:19.200
Listen, when a woman really loves a man, she can't wait to escalate the commitment.
00:03:23.680
She wants everyone to know she's running to the altar.
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Like, this is not, this is not how women in love act.
00:03:32.040
No, because if I wasn't that into him, I wouldn't be having a baby for him and I wouldn't accept
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You wouldn't be going out and like partying with the girls and having arguments about it.
00:03:50.500
But if, if he didn't like that, that's what he saw when he first met me.
00:03:57.340
So yes, we quabble about it because it's the amount of going out or whatever, but it's
00:04:08.900
Oh, so I have a big support system, like my mom, my grandmother, his grandma, his mom,
00:04:16.620
Don't you think that's kind of like putting your responsibility onto them?
00:04:23.660
So usually in the evenings, like his mom would watch my daughter or my mom would watch
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like her go and do my deliveries or do what I'm doing.
00:04:31.200
But I have like throughout the week, like I have like set schedules and when she goes.
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If I want to go out, I'll work in between that schedule.
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Would you guys, like, I want to actually, if I can ask the dudes here, would you guys
00:04:55.840
But if it's one person coming out and I'm staying in...
00:05:01.120
Like I actually, to me, I'm like, I'm like flabbergasted.
00:05:07.620
I see, because most of my friends are in relationships and they're doing the same thing.
00:05:24.040
It's kind of the degradation of wives the last hundred years, to be honest.
00:05:28.960
Like our mom's generation, they're kind of the shitty wives.
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You can't really learn much from our mom's generation.
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Like the 40 to like 55 year olds, they're just kind of bad wives, to be honest.
00:05:45.600
So do you believe that you can't be a good wife and go out?
00:05:52.780
I think, you know, occasionally, sure, but not to a club.
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Who wants to grow up with a mom that's in the club every other weekend?
00:06:01.660
The reality is I like noticing trends in society.
00:06:06.620
And I think, let me use the word women like to use a lot.
00:06:10.540
There's something, there's something of a spectrum going on.
00:06:12.780
At the lower end of the spectrum, you have women that want to be the men and do whatever they want.
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Go out while the men become the nurturing partners.
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On the other end of the spectrum, you have the Adam 22 situation.
00:06:30.420
And the woman finds different ways to violate the man till he gets to the point where she can then
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even ask for an open relationship or she can ask to sleep with another man on camera.
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Like the thing about, again, I'm speaking from a position of being 40 and being married and have lots of friends.
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All my friends are very successful and definitely married with kids.
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It's like commitment doesn't, like if you look at the color of commitment, it's not gray.
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And if it doesn't look like commitment, it's just not.
00:07:07.100
And you see these patterns, like you were saying in society, you see it on the micro level as well, right?
00:07:13.080
Like the guys that had those situations and whenever age, like, well, I'm not really in their spheres anymore
00:07:20.180
because they just kind of, their lives just get wrecked and they kind of go into like repeat mode
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because a woman has generally just ruined their life.
00:07:31.500
Well, it's kind of like, it kind of just disrupts the natural, like, order of things
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And so it's like, if you're going out and he doesn't want you to, it's just kind of out of order.
00:07:48.340
So if you're going out, but you're also doing everything else that he wants you to do, do you still think that?
00:07:57.040
Yeah, and I'm not saying every person's going to do it perfectly, but I think that it's not good
00:08:04.280
if we're having wives and mothers go out instead of staying at home with the kids.
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And your dad had no problem with her, like, going out?
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She's not married to my dad, but she's married to my little brother's dad.
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So, growing up in Jamaica, the school bus to school, we would, like, it was crazy.
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Like, we would be listening to music on the way to school, dancing on the school bus on
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On the weekends, as a young child, they had street parties as well.
00:09:06.320
Like, from young, I was going to carnival with my family, with my parents.