JustPearlyThings - July 18, 2023


Modern Woman Gets ANNIHILATED By This Question

Topics
going out and responsibilities
Hosted by
Hannah Pearl Davis
The TRUTH About Women Before FEMINISM Pearl Asks Male Guests This DIFFICULT Question

Episode Stats


Length

9 minutes

Words per minute

190.73

Word count

1,764

Sentence count

220

Harmful content

Misogyny

15

sentences flagged

Toxicity

3

sentences flagged

Hate speech

8

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we have a special guest on the show, a woman who has been with her husband for over 5 years and they have been going out on a regular basis. She talks about how she feels about her husband going out and why she doesn t want him to go out as much as she does. We also talk about the benefits of going out with your partner and how to deal with a partner who doesn't want to spend more time with their kids.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 I have a question though. If your man was like doing his duties towards you, like providing for you and like being there for you emotionally only like a couple of days in a week, like he just, he was lackadestical about it. Sometimes he'll be there for you. Sometimes he just messes around. Would you stay?
00:00:23.320 No.
00:00:23.940 You won't, right? Okay. That's interesting.
00:00:26.700 But I don't mess around.
00:00:27.840 No, I know. I'm giving you the equivalent because what men and women bring to each other are different. We don't bring the same things. 0.95
00:00:34.480 So on his end, if he wasn't holding up to his duties, more than likely you would replace him. And I would say that would be fair.
00:00:42.760 So that being said, do you think it's possible that he could probably find someone that would bring more to the table for him and that could turn his head?
00:00:55.680 Yeah, 100%.
00:00:56.740 And you're willing to take that risk by continuing to go out.
00:01:01.200 The only issue is, is me going out.
00:01:04.980 It shouldn't be an issue.
00:01:05.980 Other than that.
00:01:06.220 It shouldn't be an issue.
00:01:07.180 Is the kid, is the kid, is the kid biologically his?
00:01:10.780 What?
00:01:11.320 No, you said you guys have a kid together.
00:01:12.540 Yeah.
00:01:12.840 Is it his kid?
00:01:13.580 Oh, yeah.
00:01:14.220 Sorry, I thought you meant that.
00:01:15.520 I'm asking.
00:01:16.480 I don't know.
00:01:16.900 Like, I don't know the nature of the relationship, right?
00:01:18.560 Yeah.
00:01:21.340 So when I got pregnant is when I got engaged.
00:01:25.940 Oh, okay.
00:01:26.900 Yeah.
00:01:27.380 And she's two now.
00:01:29.160 Do you have any plans to stop going out anytime soon?
00:01:32.480 Do you know what?
00:01:33.040 It's just my, it's just me.
00:01:35.220 Like, this is what I, I like.
00:01:38.080 I like, I like going.
00:01:39.100 When I say like, okay, I like going to day parties.
00:01:42.440 I like going out with my girls.
00:01:44.780 Like, I like going, having a games night with my girls or a movie night.
00:01:48.480 Like, I like that.
00:01:50.380 What if he gave you an ultimatum and said it's either the girls or him?
00:01:53.580 Who would you pick?
00:01:55.400 No, I would definitely pick him.
00:01:57.580 Okay.
00:01:57.900 So you would give it up if he made it an ultimatum?
00:02:00.240 Yeah.
00:02:00.800 So if he put his foot down, then you would actually give it up?
00:02:03.140 Well, I don't think I would be happy as a person.
00:02:06.140 Do you think happiness is a choice?
00:02:09.260 Hmm.
00:02:11.020 Hmm.
00:02:11.260 Hmm.
00:02:12.080 Gotcha.
00:02:16.560 Um, yeah.
00:02:19.200 Okay.
00:02:19.800 So, so then you could be happy.
00:02:21.560 Hang on.
00:02:21.780 And you still ask other guys for advice when there's something up in your relationship?
00:02:26.080 Um, not always.
00:02:27.660 So.
00:02:27.920 No, no, not always.
00:02:28.620 But I'm then saying, oh, do you still sometimes?
00:02:31.740 Like, hey, give me some advice on my fiance.
00:02:34.400 But in regard, yeah, that's sometimes.
00:02:36.820 So in the dating period, yeah, with him in the dating period, I was asking for advice.
00:02:42.060 But now, we've been together for nearly five years now.
00:02:47.760 So these, and these guys are still in your phone and they're still like talking to you
00:02:50.720 from time to time, et cetera.
00:02:51.900 Yeah.
00:02:52.500 I see them when I go out.
00:02:53.580 I'm curious.
00:02:54.400 What's the holdup on the marriage?
00:02:56.640 Like, what's the, all you got to do is go down to the courthouse.
00:02:58.920 So, so when I got engaged was 2021, but I said I wanted to wait till my daughter turns
00:03:05.100 five so she can remember or have a bit of a memory of the wedding.
00:03:10.980 Why?
00:03:12.100 That's just my preference.
00:03:13.420 Oh, okay.
00:03:14.200 It just, it seems like a silly reason to wait.
00:03:15.460 I wanted her to be older enough to experience it.
00:03:17.340 Just say it.
00:03:17.860 Just say it.
00:03:18.380 You're not that into him.
00:03:19.200 Listen, when a woman really loves a man, she can't wait to escalate the commitment. 0.94
00:03:22.320 She wants to shout it from the rooftop.
00:03:23.680 She wants everyone to know she's running to the altar.
00:03:26.780 Like, this is not, this is not how women in love act. 1.00
00:03:29.460 It's not that I'm not.
00:03:32.040 No, because if I wasn't that into him, I wouldn't be having a baby for him and I wouldn't accept
00:03:37.020 a marriage proposal.
00:03:38.320 You wouldn't be going out and like partying with the girls and having arguments about it.
00:03:42.840 That's just me as a person.
00:03:44.480 Yeah.
00:03:44.660 I'm not, it's how it comes across though.
00:03:47.580 I'm not saying that's what it is.
00:03:48.920 I'm just telling you how it comes across.
00:03:50.500 But if, if he didn't like that, that's what he saw when he first met me.
00:03:57.340 So yes, we quabble about it because it's the amount of going out or whatever, but it's
00:04:03.660 not the going out.
00:04:04.840 It's just the amount.
00:04:05.960 Who's watching the kid when you go out?
00:04:08.900 Oh, so I have a big support system, like my mom, my grandmother, his grandma, his mom,
00:04:15.300 him.
00:04:16.620 Don't you think that's kind of like putting your responsibility onto them?
00:04:20.260 No.
00:04:20.740 So I also sell her as well.
00:04:23.660 So usually in the evenings, like his mom would watch my daughter or my mom would watch
00:04:28.200 like her go and do my deliveries or do what I'm doing. 0.97
00:04:31.200 But I have like throughout the week, like I have like set schedules and when she goes.
00:04:36.680 So I would just work in between that.
00:04:39.320 If I want to go out, I'll work in between that schedule.
00:04:42.700 Shaking his head.
00:04:43.480 That's crazy to me, guys.
00:04:44.540 I'm sorry.
00:04:44.820 Would you guys, like, I want to actually, if I can ask the dudes here, would you guys
00:04:48.000 accept that in your marriage?
00:04:49.420 Hell no.
00:04:50.180 No.
00:04:50.540 Really?
00:04:51.460 No way.
00:04:53.380 I don't know if it goes together.
00:04:54.380 If we go out together, then it's different.
00:04:55.840 But if it's one person coming out and I'm staying in...
00:04:57.880 It's not happening.
00:04:58.560 No more.
00:04:59.100 I can't.
00:04:59.920 This is insane.
00:05:01.120 Like I actually, to me, I'm like, I'm like flabbergasted.
00:05:03.340 Like this is insane to me.
00:05:04.680 And maybe I'm the crazy one, right?
00:05:05.980 Because the reality is not making sense.
00:05:07.620 I see, because most of my friends are in relationships and they're doing the same thing.
00:05:14.300 Did you see your grandmothers do this?
00:05:16.660 No.
00:05:17.040 Did you see your mom do this?
00:05:19.620 Yeah.
00:05:20.480 The moms are kind of where it switches. 1.00
00:05:21.980 Grandmother, no, right?
00:05:23.620 No.
00:05:24.040 It's kind of the degradation of wives the last hundred years, to be honest. 1.00
00:05:28.960 Like our mom's generation, they're kind of the shitty wives. 1.00
00:05:32.960 And it shows up in the data. 0.99
00:05:34.640 Most of them are divorced.
00:05:35.660 You can't really learn much from our mom's generation.
00:05:37.620 Like the 40 to like 55 year olds, they're just kind of bad wives, to be honest. 1.00
00:05:43.100 The grandmothers.
00:05:44.060 Yeah.
00:05:44.380 I mean, how many, like.
00:05:45.600 So do you believe that you can't be a good wife and go out? 0.97
00:05:49.120 Yeah.
00:05:49.500 No, I don't think it goes hand in hand.
00:05:51.840 I think.
00:05:52.280 Yeah.
00:05:52.780 I think, you know, occasionally, sure, but not to a club.
00:05:56.640 Like, I don't.
00:05:57.640 Who wants to grow up with a mom that's in the club every other weekend? 1.00
00:06:01.660 The reality is I like noticing trends in society.
00:06:04.880 The reality is there's a trend going on.
00:06:06.620 And I think, let me use the word women like to use a lot. 1.00
00:06:09.900 Spectrum.
00:06:10.540 There's something, there's something of a spectrum going on.
00:06:12.780 At the lower end of the spectrum, you have women that want to be the men and do whatever they want. 0.97
00:06:17.640 Go out while the men become the nurturing partners.
00:06:21.880 On the other end of the spectrum, you have the Adam 22 situation.
00:06:25.380 So it starts from that first part.
00:06:28.540 And usually it keeps going and going on.
00:06:30.420 And the woman finds different ways to violate the man till he gets to the point where she can then 1.00
00:06:35.020 even ask for an open relationship or she can ask to sleep with another man on camera. 0.98
00:06:40.140 That's how it starts.
00:06:41.060 It's like, it's just a spectrum, basically.
00:06:43.260 Like the thing about, again, I'm speaking from a position of being 40 and being married and have lots of friends.
00:06:50.680 I don't know.
00:06:50.960 I don't have any friends that are divorced.
00:06:52.140 All my friends are very successful and definitely married with kids.
00:06:55.600 It's like commitment doesn't, like if you look at the color of commitment, it's not gray.
00:07:02.480 It's just not.
00:07:03.240 Like commitment is very black and white.
00:07:05.040 And if it doesn't look like commitment, it's just not.
00:07:07.100 And you see these patterns, like you were saying in society, you see it on the micro level as well, right?
00:07:13.080 Like the guys that had those situations and whenever age, like, well, I'm not really in their spheres anymore
00:07:20.180 because they just kind of, their lives just get wrecked and they kind of go into like repeat mode
00:07:25.700 because a woman has generally just ruined their life. 0.99
00:07:29.060 Yeah, this smells a lot like that.
00:07:30.660 Sorry.
00:07:31.040 It just does.
00:07:31.500 Well, it's kind of like, it kind of just disrupts the natural, like, order of things
00:07:39.520 because you're supposed to obey your husband.
00:07:43.840 And so it's like, if you're going out and he doesn't want you to, it's just kind of out of order.
00:07:48.340 So if you're going out, but you're also doing everything else that he wants you to do, do you still think that?
00:07:54.280 It's a problem.
00:07:54.900 Yeah, I would say it's a problem.
00:07:56.260 It's a big problem.
00:07:57.040 Yeah, and I'm not saying every person's going to do it perfectly, but I think that it's not good
00:08:04.280 if we're having wives and mothers go out instead of staying at home with the kids. 0.71
00:08:08.960 You disagree?
00:08:09.680 No, I agree.
00:08:10.740 I do.
00:08:11.620 Sorry.
00:08:12.240 Really?
00:08:12.880 Yeah, I do.
00:08:15.540 Yeah, I do.
00:08:17.560 I don't know.
00:08:18.080 Like, my mom's, so, my mom, my mom's 40.
00:08:23.020 Growing up, she used to go out a lot.
00:08:27.880 I, yeah, I don't know.
00:08:29.620 I don't know if it's...
00:08:30.400 Is she still married? 0.99
00:08:31.620 Yeah, she's married.
00:08:32.660 And your dad had no problem with her, like, going out?
00:08:35.660 She's not married to my dad, but she's married to my little brother's dad.
00:08:39.400 Okay.
00:08:40.000 Yeah.
00:08:41.060 No.
00:08:42.020 Because I went to school in Jamaica.
00:08:45.120 So, growing up in Jamaica, the school bus to school, we would, like, it was crazy.
00:08:52.580 Like, we would be listening to music on the way to school, dancing on the school bus on
00:08:57.520 the way to school.
00:08:58.240 On the weekends, as a young child, they had street parties as well.
00:09:01.640 So, we would be out.
00:09:02.620 Like, I don't know.
00:09:03.360 I feel like that's my culture.
00:09:04.820 That's what I'm going into.
00:09:06.320 Like, from young, I was going to carnival with my family, with my parents.
00:09:10.420 How old are you again?
00:09:11.580 I'm 25.
00:09:12.660 Your mom had you at 15?
00:09:14.520 Yeah.