JustPearlyThings - April 06, 2023


Modern Woman GOT Hit With FACTS


Episode Stats

Length

11 minutes

Words per Minute

206.88435

Word Count

2,338

Sentence Count

146

Misogynist Sentences

31

Hate Speech Sentences

15


Summary

In this episode, we're joined by a very special guest - our good friend and long-term friend, Alyssa Milano. We talk about dating in your 20s, what it's like to be in your 30s and 40s, and what it means to be a woman in the modern dating world.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 But don't you think the women need to level up?
00:00:01.940 I mean, how many women?
00:00:02.540 The women are leveling up.
00:00:03.180 I'm leveled.
00:00:06.060 What percent of women have cookbooks?
00:00:07.860 What percent of women are homemakers?
00:00:09.200 What percent of women really work with kids and can be good mothers?
00:00:12.820 But there's percentage, but you just have to find your percentage.
00:00:16.840 Go ahead.
00:00:17.680 You just have to find your percentage.
00:00:19.800 You have to find your percentage?
00:00:21.140 You have to find it.
00:00:21.660 There's women out there.
00:00:22.660 You just have to find.
00:00:23.660 Yeah, but is it common?
00:00:25.320 But that's for a certain type of man.
00:00:26.620 There are some men that like boss babes who have businesses.
00:00:29.180 Who are grinding and stuff like that.
00:00:31.840 There are 100%.
00:00:33.080 Bones broke, man.
00:00:37.840 If that's who you did, that's who you did.
00:00:41.780 So you don't think men like women that are boss babes?
00:00:44.020 Men don't give a shit about our money.
00:00:45.980 They literally don't care.
00:00:47.280 It's like, okay, if this guy ever told you about a shoe collection and you're like,
00:00:50.500 oh, that's cool, but you don't really care.
00:00:52.040 That's how men view our money.
00:00:53.660 They don't care.
00:00:54.240 It's nothing to them.
00:00:55.440 But you proved the point of what you said just now, though,
00:00:57.400 because what you're saying is that you could walk out theoretically,
00:01:00.640 you know, hypothetically, you could walk out and get some guy,
00:01:02.720 maybe come and chat you up or whatever,
00:01:04.160 but you're looking for a certain percentile of guy.
00:01:06.520 Yeah.
00:01:06.860 So you're basically saying, oh, you know,
00:01:09.000 this group of guys who might hit on me randomly in West London,
00:01:13.360 I don't care about them because I want this top tier.
00:01:16.160 And that's the thing.
00:01:16.920 And I'm not saying that's a bad.
00:01:18.300 I mean, that's absolutely everyone's prerogative.
00:01:20.200 But at the same time, I think a lot of guys are finding it increasingly difficult
00:01:23.960 in this dating marketplace, you know,
00:01:26.300 because women are the gatekeepers, basically, you know.
00:01:28.620 Yes.
00:01:29.240 So I'm curious, because I hear this a lot.
00:01:31.880 Like, I'm not going to get a guy that's not on my level.
00:01:34.420 Or is that what you said?
00:01:35.300 I don't want to misquote you.
00:01:36.320 Yeah, I just don't want to be with a guy that's just not up to the standard that I want.
00:01:40.880 So when as women do we lower our standards and decide that they're too high?
00:01:44.720 If all the guys we're talking to don't live up to the standards that we want,
00:01:48.660 when do we lower them?
00:01:49.640 When you're getting old and there's no more time.
00:01:52.560 When your body clock is giving up and you can't have children,
00:01:55.060 then we just need to settle.
00:01:56.180 So 90% of your eggs are gone by 30.
00:01:58.920 So at what age would you say that women should start lowering their standards?
00:02:03.180 Because I'd be 30 then if that's the case.
00:02:05.600 Because I need children.
00:02:06.960 Do you know what I mean?
00:02:07.620 Because it's geriatric pregnancy starts at 35.
00:02:10.220 Wow.
00:02:10.800 So I think a lot of times, like women,
00:02:12.580 we think our biological clock is a lot longer than it really is.
00:02:16.300 You freeze your eggs.
00:02:17.500 That's also an option, yeah.
00:02:19.580 Yeah, but I can't remember the stat off the top of my head,
00:02:23.680 but it doesn't work out for a lot of women.
00:02:26.120 They kind of sell us that dream.
00:02:27.840 Yeah.
00:02:29.200 I wish I could remember what percent of women actually get pregnant,
00:02:32.300 but it's not as high as you think after geriatric pregnancy.
00:02:37.040 I think the other way around, it's only about 50%.
00:02:39.180 If a guy freezes his sperm, it's quite, it's, you know,
00:02:44.440 it's like a 50-50 shot basically, whether it's going to work or not.
00:02:48.940 I mean, yeah, it's a bit of a tricky one.
00:02:51.360 I mean, yeah, I don't know.
00:02:57.200 Under...
00:02:57.520 But no one can help who they're attracted to.
00:02:59.480 I mean, you can't say to somebody, well, well, you know,
00:03:03.800 it's very hard to say to somebody, look, you should lower your standards
00:03:06.300 because we are attracted to who we're attracted to,
00:03:09.920 and that's just the reality of it, isn't it?
00:03:11.820 I'm curious.
00:03:12.680 Would you guys rather be, like, so at 60, 65,
00:03:16.240 would you rather be by yourself or be with someone you're not attracted to?
00:03:19.980 Be by myself.
00:03:20.820 Be by myself, yeah.
00:03:22.500 Cats?
00:03:23.740 No, brother.
00:03:25.580 Really, no kids?
00:03:28.160 Because to me, it's like, I'd rather be with someone I'm not attracted to
00:03:30.660 than out of children.
00:03:31.600 Yeah, 100%.
00:03:31.940 I would feel like my life was, like, a failure if I didn't have kids.
00:03:35.140 No, I'm not looking for companionship.
00:03:36.340 No, I definitely want kids.
00:03:37.720 If it's real, it's not.
00:03:39.360 What?
00:03:39.860 If it's real, it's not.
00:03:42.700 What were you going to say?
00:03:43.720 You definitely want kids?
00:03:44.660 Yeah.
00:03:46.040 I know, so I'm asking if you had the two options
00:03:47.940 and you would still pick by yourself.
00:03:49.460 You said at 65.
00:03:51.860 I mean, you just told me the age of 35, so.
00:03:54.840 No, but I'm saying, so in one scenario, at 65,
00:03:57.360 you have a husband you're not attracted to and children and a family,
00:04:00.100 and at the other one, you're by yourself.
00:04:02.000 So I'm saying, like, as women, we keep saying we need our standards
00:04:04.340 to be on a certain level, right?
00:04:05.720 And I hear this is super common.
00:04:06.980 It's not just you.
00:04:08.080 So it's like, but when do we start lowering them
00:04:10.440 if the men aren't meeting them?
00:04:13.160 Because what's our other option?
00:04:15.180 Bye, dog.
00:04:17.500 That dog ain't giving you kids, I'll tell you that.
00:04:19.540 I think that's where it goes with the beauty beyond the eye.
00:04:25.600 You see?
00:04:26.100 You start, you know, you don't find him attractive first
00:04:28.920 and you really start liking him after.
00:04:30.620 But you see what I'm saying when I say that?
00:04:32.440 Like, I think that women, men have higher beauty standards
00:04:35.300 than women, like, that they have to live up to.
00:04:38.920 Because it's such a small percentage of men
00:04:40.620 that we're even attracted to.
00:04:41.660 Everyone in here said they're picky.
00:04:43.360 But don't you feel like it happened to us first as women?
00:04:46.720 I mean, we had to level ourselves up to be a certain way.
00:04:50.980 When do you think we had to level ourselves up?
00:04:56.000 I'd say about 20, 30 years ago.
00:04:58.980 I feel like we've gotten worse in the last 20 to 30 years.
00:05:02.040 See?
00:05:02.460 So about 20, 30 years?
00:05:03.320 No, but I don't think we've leveled up.
00:05:04.560 I think women have leveled down.
00:05:06.540 Yeah, but...
00:05:06.860 I don't agree with that.
00:05:08.040 No, I think you're right.
00:05:09.620 But I think probably, from my perspective,
00:05:11.780 I reckon what happened was that there was that pressure on women
00:05:14.440 to be, you know, you've got to look amazing all the time.
00:05:17.480 And blokes, like, back in the sort of the 80s and early 90s and stuff,
00:05:21.500 guys didn't really have to make an effort.
00:05:23.300 Do you know what I mean?
00:05:23.840 It was like, you could have a beer gun,
00:05:25.200 just like, whatever, football shirt on,
00:05:27.540 and just, oh, yeah, she's nice.
00:05:28.640 And, you know, it's very laddy kind of thing.
00:05:30.440 Really? I've seen pictures of guys from, like, the...
00:05:32.980 I saw beach pictures from, like, before the 60s.
00:05:36.880 Everyone was hot back then.
00:05:38.700 I thought they were so much more attractive.
00:05:41.160 The men and the women.
00:05:42.600 They were...
00:05:43.000 I feel like something switched in the food or something.
00:05:45.660 Well, maybe just in England then.
00:05:48.100 But, no, I know what you mean,
00:05:49.040 because I've seen pictures in, like, Brazilian stuff,
00:05:50.860 like, from the 70s.
00:05:51.500 No, I'm talking the U.S., like, California pictures.
00:05:53.740 Oh, really?
00:05:54.060 Yeah.
00:05:54.260 Okay.
00:05:54.760 Okay.
00:05:55.360 Okay.
00:05:56.980 I don't know.
00:05:57.480 Well, from my perspective, what I've seen,
00:06:00.280 I think that standards for men have got higher
00:06:04.540 in the last, sort of, 10, 15, 20 years.
00:06:06.140 That's just my sense of it.
00:06:07.820 And maybe women's had to have been higher in the past.
00:06:10.640 But, like, I don't know.
00:06:14.000 It doesn't really help anybody, does it?
00:06:15.260 Do you know what I mean?
00:06:15.840 Like, I think now, because of the thirstiness of guys
00:06:19.720 and the fact that, as we've said,
00:06:22.020 I mean, guys are less selected than women.
00:06:23.940 I think guys are now more, less picky than they were.
00:06:27.520 Do you know what I mean?
00:06:28.060 I think there are many guys who will take a woman
00:06:30.480 who's perhaps less attractive than he would have preferred
00:06:34.180 because he thinks that's his only option.
00:06:36.160 I think, ultimately, it's finding someone
00:06:39.000 you're compatible with.
00:06:40.280 So, all these standards, standards, standards.
00:06:42.860 It's like, what is a standard?
00:06:44.400 If he's a good guy, if he's a good girl,
00:06:46.220 and he's, like, you know, he's compatible to you.
00:06:48.020 He's got the same values, same, you know, principles,
00:06:50.580 and you get along well, and you have the same,
00:06:53.100 you know, goals in life.
00:06:54.200 I think that's what can be defined as a, you know.
00:06:56.980 Yeah, I'm curious, what are your standards?
00:07:00.220 Like, what do you guys look for in a guy?
00:07:03.100 I think I'm, maybe not the right person.
00:07:05.780 I think, like, lots of women, no, because it's like...
00:07:08.320 You don't look for anything?
00:07:09.400 No, because I...
00:07:12.320 You go, women?
00:07:13.820 Women, is that your thing?
00:07:15.740 No, because I know that lots of women,
00:07:18.160 they look at, you know, how much money my man is making,
00:07:21.260 how much, you know, good life you have.
00:07:23.560 Yeah, you don't have to say money.
00:07:24.720 It could be, like, whatever you look for.
00:07:26.360 For me, it's like having emotional support,
00:07:29.640 most of everything, and, you know,
00:07:31.520 having someone that, you know, understands my needs,
00:07:34.440 you know, on a mental level.
00:07:35.740 Obviously, you know, we need to, you know,
00:07:38.400 do life together and navigate, you know,
00:07:40.680 challenges and everything,
00:07:41.940 but ultimately, for me,
00:07:43.360 it's about finding that compatible person,
00:07:45.940 which is very difficult to do,
00:07:47.260 because, you know, you're going to have always something,
00:07:49.400 you know, there's some character traits
00:07:52.520 that are not really, you know,
00:07:54.220 men and women are just different,
00:07:55.740 and as much as we want to play this card,
00:07:57.580 oh, I want to be like a man,
00:07:58.740 I'm never going to be a man.
00:07:59.820 I wasn't born a man,
00:08:00.720 and I'm not going to understand what a man is.
00:08:03.140 So don't you think that asking him
00:08:04.820 to understand your emotional needs
00:08:06.520 is asking a man to be a woman
00:08:07.800 when he's not a woman?
00:08:09.560 A little bit, yes,
00:08:10.520 but not in a way, like, don't get me wrong,
00:08:12.960 yes, maybe, a little bit, yes,
00:08:14.620 but at the same time,
00:08:15.720 I don't want a cold person,
00:08:17.260 you know, in front of me,
00:08:18.220 no, you know,
00:08:18.940 I want to have someone
00:08:20.560 that is kind of empathic enough,
00:08:22.520 you know,
00:08:22.780 got a little bit of warmness.
00:08:24.080 That doesn't sound too hard
00:08:24.640 to find a warm, a nice guy?
00:08:27.040 You think that's hard?
00:08:29.620 Like, what else?
00:08:30.420 There has to be,
00:08:30.900 there has to be,
00:08:31.900 I was like, there has to be more,
00:08:34.760 it can't just be that, go ahead.
00:08:35.900 Yeah, I mean, there are,
00:08:37.700 but, um.
00:08:38.460 There's going to be loads of guys
00:08:39.200 in the chat now,
00:08:39.780 is, I'm a nice guy,
00:08:40.660 I can emotionally support you.
00:08:43.160 No, no, I mean,
00:08:45.740 I mean, I want to,
00:08:47.020 you know, I want to say this,
00:08:48.100 like, there are lots of great guys out there,
00:08:50.000 that want to be like,
00:08:50.720 oh, yeah, man,
00:08:51.820 it's just, I find that
00:08:53.140 this particular time
00:08:54.840 that we're living,
00:08:56.040 guys are, like,
00:08:57.200 finding very difficult
00:08:58.160 in committing on the long term,
00:09:00.000 because, you know,
00:09:00.440 a lot of pressure
00:09:01.160 there is in this society,
00:09:02.220 so it's like,
00:09:02.520 I can't provide to my woman,
00:09:04.260 because, you know,
00:09:05.000 the bills are going high,
00:09:06.280 you know,
00:09:06.480 the society is crazy at the moment,
00:09:08.000 you know,
00:09:08.320 and women want always more,
00:09:09.900 more, more,
00:09:10.400 the last clothes,
00:09:11.180 the last, you know,
00:09:12.260 trend that is,
00:09:13.160 there,
00:09:13.580 you know,
00:09:13.740 I need to satisfy that,
00:09:15.020 and I feel like that,
00:09:16.160 it's quite detrimental,
00:09:18.340 so I feel like,
00:09:19.580 yes, you're right,
00:09:20.400 maybe we can lower a little bit
00:09:22.180 our standards,
00:09:23.060 and try,
00:09:23.560 trying to be more realistic
00:09:24.740 with what we really,
00:09:26.580 you know,
00:09:26.920 how old would you date,
00:09:28.880 like,
00:09:29.040 is there an age range,
00:09:30.180 like,
00:09:30.400 you said you're 37,
00:09:31.880 right?
00:09:32.060 Eight.
00:09:32.560 38,
00:09:33.140 okay,
00:09:33.440 so would you date
00:09:34.000 a 21-year-old guy?
00:09:35.520 I don't think so,
00:09:36.940 no.
00:09:37.120 so there's age.
00:09:38.600 Yeah,
00:09:38.940 because it's just a question,
00:09:40.760 I mean,
00:09:41.260 yeah,
00:09:41.900 I don't think so,
00:09:42.640 it has to be like,
00:09:43.580 you know,
00:09:43.860 mature enough for me to,
00:09:45.360 you know,
00:09:45.620 for me to get deep conversations
00:09:47.580 without,
00:09:48.080 oh,
00:09:48.300 what are you talking about,
00:09:49.260 without scaring him,
00:09:50.360 and I think like,
00:09:51.620 when you're 21,
00:09:52.500 you still need to figure out
00:09:53.520 a lot of things,
00:09:54.480 I'm not saying that by 38,
00:09:56.260 you're gonna have everything,
00:09:57.220 no.
00:09:57.340 So you date a 55-year-old guy,
00:09:59.500 that's okay?
00:10:02.160 Nah,
00:10:02.680 I don't think so.
00:10:03.540 Okay,
00:10:04.000 so,
00:10:04.260 no,
00:10:04.500 it's like,
00:10:04.940 same age.
00:10:05.600 So,
00:10:06.020 you know,
00:10:06.340 maybe,
00:10:06.680 maybe up until you're 45,
00:10:09.060 45,
00:10:09.680 yeah,
00:10:10.140 okay,
00:10:10.440 or less,
00:10:10.940 yeah.
00:10:11.320 Anything else?
00:10:12.000 So he just has to be emotionally available
00:10:13.760 under the age of 45,
00:10:15.540 funny,
00:10:16.380 over 30,
00:10:17.180 maybe?
00:10:17.840 Over 30,
00:10:18.420 yeah,
00:10:18.980 but I'm not doing like,
00:10:20.360 I'm not doing an advert out there,
00:10:22.000 you know?
00:10:23.540 It used to be.
00:10:24.180 Me,
00:10:24.360 me,
00:10:24.700 me.
00:10:24.920 No,
00:10:25.300 no,
00:10:26.100 no,
00:10:26.380 no,
00:10:26.620 no,
00:10:27.200 no,
00:10:27.460 no,
00:10:27.480 that's not an advert.
00:10:30.300 Just,
00:10:31.420 as I said,
00:10:32.060 like,
00:10:32.420 for me,
00:10:32.960 the emotional support,
00:10:33.920 without being too much a woman,
00:10:35.880 is very important,
00:10:37.020 and to be able to,
00:10:39.140 you know,
00:10:39.620 understand,
00:10:40.640 like,
00:10:41.000 that,
00:10:41.780 trying to understand us,
00:10:43.260 because as we,
00:10:44.940 as women,
00:10:45.600 we're trying to understand men,
00:10:47.540 and we're trying to get into that
00:10:49.400 masculine energy,
00:10:50.420 which is quite difficult to do,
00:10:53.060 and at the same time,
00:10:54.040 I would love,
00:10:54.620 you know,
00:10:54.780 that the men trying to be a little bit more empathetic,
00:10:56.860 and trying to understand,
00:10:58.200 without becoming a woman,
00:10:59.560 I mean,
00:10:59.800 it has to be men.
00:11:00.880 It has to be men.
00:11:01.860 As many of you know,
00:11:02.900 I was just banned on TikTok,
00:11:05.420 and we are demonetized on a daily basis
00:11:07.940 on this platform.
00:11:09.960 If you want to help,
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