Modern Woman IGNORES Her Parents Advice
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
197.01836
Summary
In this episode, we discuss what it means to be a woman in the 21st century and why it s important to have survival skills in order to survive in the modern world. We talk about how important it is to be able to cook for your man, clean for him, and take care of yourself.
Transcript
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I'm just saying, like, we have been talking about the men forever.
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It's like, we, like, they, I don't want no scrub, scrub.
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Like, there's, there's no, there's no, there's no song saying, I don't want no whale, a whale is out.
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And I'm saying, like, we, they have had, like, we have had decades where we talk.
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It's like, now the men are finally talking and we can't even give them their.
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That's kind of true because even men, when they were singing about women, they sang a lot about.
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And I think it's sad to see that men are not making that music.
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I feel like from the moment you're born, I don't know if it's just in an African home.
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In an African home, you're literally raised to cater for your man.
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My mom was like, you need to know how to cook for your man.
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You should be thankful you were naturally taught game.
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Yeah, like, a lot of, a lot of women would love, like, even, I mean, my parents just started dating.
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My parents, my parents started dating when they were 17.
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A lot of women aren't taught the basic necessities of being a woman, like, cooking, cleaning.
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Like, you have something in your holster, in your bag that you can whip out whenever you need to for a man.
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I can clean for him because you have it on you.
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A lot of women had to learn that on their own or just had to go throughout life and learning it.
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They never were taught it or they never needed to have it until they were in a position where, like, oh, I can't do this on my own.
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I can't do this because things have been done for me my whole life or I was never taught that.
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And so you shouldn't look at it as, like, oh, I was taught this from jump.
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I was taught how to cater to my man or be a woman.
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And, like, African women, like women like me, Nigerian background especially, that's all we know.
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My mom tells me if I'm 30 without a husband, I am basically useless.
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Okay, okay, but you at least, so if you look at dating app data, she's right.
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So if you look at dating app data, that's when the numbers change,
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where, like, women typically have more, like, leverage on dating apps than men until 30.
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And if anything, you should be thankful for how well they prepped you for the world
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because a lot of girls hit 30 and have no idea.
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Like, a lot of girls don't have a dad or a mom to, like, tell them these things.
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And even me, like, my mom didn't know shit about dating or the dating landscape.
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And, yeah, and it's, like, so you at least know this at 26 where you can still make choices
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that would get you in a better position at 30 where other girls are going to hit 30
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I, although today I'm not in your side, I will agree with her.
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And the only thing I will do is say slightly different.
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I will say, like, for example, for me, like I mentioned, my dad passed away when I was 12.
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But then after he was gone, what my mom did is teach me these survival skills that you need
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anyways to be able to make it through the world.
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So I believe that even things like cooking, sewing, this, this, that, that's all type of
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And once you learn to take care of yourself, you'll be able to learn to take care of someone else.
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But the fact that a lot of the time, a lot of women don't still have the ability to take
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accountability means you're not taking care of yourself because you don't even know what
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So when you go into a relationship, you land yourself in trouble.
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You should be able to do for yourself what you can do for others.
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If not, then there's no point in you trying to say, oh, but you know, I'm a woman.
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What about the fact that as a woman, you're going to be the mother?
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And as I mentioned earlier, as the mother, as the woman, you're going to be more nurturing.
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So these basic life skills, forget about even for a man.
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Do it for you and for the fact that one day you may want to be a mother.
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Then everything falls into place if that makes it an easier pill to swallow.
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From your perspective, Brittany, how was it for you?
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So I was raised by my mom until about like nine and then my grandma kind of took over.
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So when I was growing up, I thought my mom just didn't want to be around, but my grandma
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was really controlling and was basically like, I'm the mom now.
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So like she kicked my mom out and my grandma was my caretaker, my grandma and grandpa.
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So I was raised by my grandparents the other half of my life.
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Okay, how was that for you in terms of just learning how to be a woman whenever you reached
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I felt like a lot of their ideas were just really outdated.
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I felt like they were really strict and it was smothering.
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So even just going to a simple party or going to a friend's house, like as an adult, do I
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see why maybe parents aren't so quick to let you go over to someone's house?
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Yes, but it was to a place where you couldn't even explore.
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I didn't really learn too much from my grandma about being a wife or how to be in a relationship
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because I always felt like they just tolerated each other.
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It's just always something I've known to be true, but I've never seen anybody do it.
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So I felt like my grandma was trying to get me to cook and do little stuff like that.
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But it just was never something that I really took an interest in.
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I'm like, I genuinely never felt like I belonged in the kitchen.
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And that's where, too, I resented my thought process a lot growing up because I'm like,
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why can't I just be a little bit more simple, a little bit more obedient, maybe more agreeable,
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not have such a strong opinion, not be so introspective?
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So I feel like my grandma tried to teach me maybe how to cook, but as far as catering to
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And that's where I think sometimes maybe I get a little frustrated with the internet's
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perspective because I'm like, you don't even know what I've had to go through to even be
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Like I've had to bump my head so many times to just be able to sit in my car and give you
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So I just never felt like I really was prepared to be a wife, ever, genuinely.
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Like, I mean, how many, I don't think the stuff that we talk about on these podcasts would
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be so shocking if women weren't lied to for 50 years.
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And I think it's like, even talking to Andrew today, like, wasn't it helpful?
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Like when he was talking about stuff, I was, even me, and I listened to this stuff all the
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Like when he was talking about how to get a guy to stop playing video games, I was like,
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Do you think that coming from a two-parent home and it's like a loving environment that's
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for everybody, that it sets you up more for success to be able to operate in relationships
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or be willing to submit to whoever the man is because you've seen it growing up?
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I know a lot of people who grew up in dual parent households and they saw their mother
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And like, I know like someone recently, they were married for like 25 years or so, for 23
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And she left basically when the kids were old enough to just like, none of them were in
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And I, I remember when I was talking to her, she felt like she was setting her kids up for
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And it still was damaging because you are witnessing your mother tolerate disrespect for, uh, security.
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Um, it was something that this particular situation, it was, I know one instance was like one of
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Um, and there was another situation, another scenario where it was, it was one of the family
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friends they were cheating on or is that told them?
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Um, no, it was, they were cheating with one of their family friends.
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So like someone like, oh, we go over to her house all the time, but my dad is sleeping with
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Um, it, I'm not exactly, I don't, I don't think it was, they physically saw it, but it
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was something that the mom would share, um, that they would hear arguments to, like if
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they weren't, even if they weren't involved in the actual argument, they would overhear,
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um, which obviously, you know, showing, exposing your kids to that stuff is one thing.
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But the other instance was, um, the dad was going out to the club with like the son and
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So it's like that direct, like, I don't respect your mom in this way.
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So that's where I feel like it really depends on what's going on in that household.
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Because seeing your mom be basically disrespected for comfort, it's like, it sends the wrong
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I can't believe he brought his son to a club and she like that.
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But I just think sometimes, you know, we never talk about like the women's part to
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And like one, one in four marriages are sexless.
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And so I just think if you're going to starve a man and he's begging you to sleep with him
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and someone comes on a platter, like, that's why I say we never talk about why the men cheat.
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And a lot of people will take this out of context.
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Like I believe in cheating, but like there are times where the woman is not sleeping with
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the man and then he cheats, but he's not naturally inclined to.
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And that's a conversation we don't really have.
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I'm not saying it's okay, but it's almost like, what did you, what did you expect?
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But at the same time, I was just banned on TikTok and we are demonetized on a daily basis
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