JustPearlyThings - May 22, 2023


Modern Woman Is UNAWARE Of Her Relationship Status


Episode Stats


Length

13 minutes

Words per minute

209.21408

Word count

2,867

Sentence count

353

Harmful content

Misogyny

10

sentences flagged

Hate speech

4

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, the ladies discuss their relationship status and what it means to be single. Do you have a boyfriend or are you single and ready to mingle? How do you know if you re single or not single?

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 So, welcome to the show, ladies. 0.99
00:00:02.140 Thank you.
00:00:03.380 Thank you.
00:00:03.920 Today, we have a lovely panel.
00:00:06.060 So, why don't we go around, everyone say your name, your age, your relationship status, and a fun fact about yourself.
00:00:11.460 Starting here, and then go around.
00:00:12.960 Well, my name is Sharon.
00:00:14.640 I'm 22 years old.
00:00:16.520 My relationship status is complicated.
00:00:21.100 What does it's complicated mean?
00:00:24.120 I'm not in a relationship.
00:00:25.100 Okay, I'm dating.
00:00:26.140 You're dating.
00:00:26.620 Yeah, I'm dating.
00:00:27.240 Is that a situation?
00:00:29.240 Situationship, I just, I like to be in the know.
00:00:31.300 I like to, yeah.
00:00:32.200 It's not really a situationship.
00:00:34.520 We're just getting to know each other.
00:00:36.040 Okay.
00:00:36.560 Taking things slow, being healthy.
00:00:38.080 How would you even describe what dating is?
00:00:40.140 Like, even when someone says, oh, are we dating?
00:00:42.220 And I'm like, are we dating?
00:00:43.860 There's a situationship.
00:00:45.220 So, I'm like, what does this dating mean?
00:00:47.720 We need to clarify this right now.
00:00:49.160 I feel like, okay, I'm going to clarify what I think.
00:00:51.680 Thank you.
00:00:52.100 You guys can tell me if I'm right.
00:00:53.380 I feel like dating is going on a couple dates.
00:00:56.560 A situationship means you're hooking up with them.
00:00:59.800 And a boyfriend, girlfriend.
00:01:02.400 That's like, yeah.
00:01:04.200 So, hooking up, we need to just find out what that means.
00:01:06.460 Hooking up means doing the deed. 0.96
00:01:08.620 Obviously, you can't say that.
00:01:09.420 Oh, yeah, of course.
00:01:10.120 Is that what hooking up is?
00:01:11.340 Or I'm just making out?
00:01:12.380 No, no, you're right.
00:01:13.700 Yeah.
00:01:13.960 Doing the deed.
00:01:14.600 Okay.
00:01:14.920 Yeah.
00:01:15.500 Right, right.
00:01:16.300 Okay.
00:01:16.700 Oh, fun fact.
00:01:17.380 I don't think you go on a date with situationships.
00:01:19.640 Yeah, word, yeah.
00:01:20.700 You don't date situationships.
00:01:21.860 You could.
00:01:23.140 Let me know in the chat.
00:01:24.920 Let me know in the chat.
00:01:25.420 It's more ideal not to.
00:01:26.020 I can't believe it.
00:01:26.900 Thank the Lord.
00:01:28.100 I've just gotten out of that situationship.
00:01:32.020 He says we're dating.
00:01:33.460 We're not dating.
00:01:34.600 I'm here in the situationship.
00:01:36.420 I'm out.
00:01:37.200 I'm single and lit for life.
00:01:39.520 Anyway.
00:01:40.240 Okay, so a fun fact about me.
00:01:41.680 I am a tarot reader.
00:01:43.220 So I do tarot cards.
00:01:44.640 Oh.
00:01:45.260 Yeah.
00:01:45.760 Didn't expect that, did you?
00:01:47.500 Yeah.
00:01:49.080 Yeah, go ahead.
00:01:51.520 I'm Dania.
00:01:52.480 I'm 22 and I am single.
00:01:56.120 Never been in a relationship.
00:01:58.480 And I'm a pole dancer.
00:02:03.680 That's so lit.
00:02:05.140 How am I supposed to top that?
00:02:07.620 Wow.
00:02:08.140 Okay.
00:02:08.520 Hi, guys.
00:02:09.000 My name is Titi.
00:02:10.640 I'm 22 years of age.
00:02:13.060 And I think I'm single.
00:02:16.360 I can't really like.
00:02:17.660 Okay.
00:02:17.940 I don't know how to put myself in that.
00:02:21.160 How do we not know if we're single or not?
00:02:26.160 Do you have a boyfriend?
00:02:27.280 No.
00:02:27.720 So you're single?
00:02:28.340 I'm single.
00:02:28.940 I'm single, guys.
00:02:29.900 It's good to be single.
00:02:30.740 I'm ready to be single, guys.
00:02:31.340 You know what?
00:02:32.160 It's very good to be single.
00:02:33.600 You have your own life.
00:02:34.720 You're lit.
00:02:35.480 Do you know what I'm saying?
00:02:36.060 You know what I'm saying?
00:02:37.080 Okay, cool.
00:02:37.760 Guys, I'm single.
00:02:38.420 And I'm not ready to mingle.
00:02:39.820 Sorry about that.
00:02:40.260 I'm too busy.
00:02:40.980 You're single, but not looking.
00:02:42.380 I love that.
00:02:42.820 Not looking.
00:02:43.580 I'm single and too busy.
00:02:45.580 Too busy.
00:02:46.300 Yeah, I'm way too busy.
00:02:47.320 So if any guy wants to slide, it's going to be seen.
00:02:49.680 Even if it's like Michael B. Jordan.
00:02:51.640 Yeah, you're going to sweep me off my feet type of thing.
00:02:54.540 Do you get it?
00:02:55.100 Sweep me off anything.
00:02:55.600 So only celebrities in blue check marks.
00:02:58.200 Yeah.
00:03:03.800 And fun fact.
00:03:04.740 She's bougie. 0.99
00:03:05.240 She's bougie. 0.99
00:03:05.860 It's good to be bougie.
00:03:07.220 Standards.
00:03:07.760 You've got to have your standards females. 1.00
00:03:08.920 Wait, bougie and humble.
00:03:09.640 Oh, no.
00:03:10.180 Bougie and humble.
00:03:11.000 That exists.
00:03:13.440 I'm going to open up a whole other topic about standards.
00:03:15.900 And fun fact.
00:03:21.260 I used to run.
00:03:22.500 So I used to do 100 metres, 200 metres in relay.
00:03:25.280 So I don't know if that's a shocker or it looks like.
00:03:27.720 Oh, my God.
00:03:29.120 You used to run.
00:03:31.520 You don't run anymore.
00:03:33.640 You stopped running.
00:03:34.420 No, she was walking outside.
00:03:35.860 I saw her.
00:03:36.780 We bumped into each other.
00:03:37.720 We bumped into each other, guys.
00:03:39.280 Yeah, we bumped into each other.
00:03:41.200 She wasn't running.
00:03:41.960 She was walking.
00:03:42.820 She couldn't run.
00:03:43.460 I was speed walking to be precise.
00:03:44.900 She was speed walking.
00:03:46.600 Maybe she took that up. 0.99
00:03:47.280 In the vein.
00:03:48.120 That's a mission.
00:03:49.020 That is a mission.
00:03:49.640 That's a task, guys.
00:03:51.220 That is true.
00:03:52.860 Go ahead.
00:03:53.780 Okay.
00:03:54.220 I'm Supriya.
00:03:55.760 I'm 19.
00:03:57.620 Relationship status is single and lit.
00:04:00.460 Yeah.
00:04:01.480 And I'm a singer.
00:04:03.440 I'm on my socials at Supriya Official.
00:04:06.440 And, yeah, was it a fun fact?
00:04:08.220 What do you have to do?
00:04:08.700 A fun fact about me is that I've got mad energy.
00:04:12.740 And, yeah, I'm a singer.
00:04:13.500 I'm an artist.
00:04:14.900 Which is not very funny.
00:04:16.080 Yeah, it's fun.
00:04:16.600 It's fun.
00:04:17.420 It is fun.
00:04:18.640 It is fun.
00:04:19.520 Okay.
00:04:19.960 So, thank you guys for coming.
00:04:22.180 Today, guys, we are talking about toxic exes.
00:04:25.240 Now, this is a young panel.
00:04:27.760 So, I'm hoping this topic still works.
00:04:32.060 So, question.
00:04:33.040 What is your definition of a toxic ex?
00:04:36.260 Someone that feels entitled to making decisions for you.
00:04:42.260 I feel like.
00:04:43.040 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:04:43.780 That's a toxic ex.
00:04:45.340 Someone that feels entitled to your life, to your lifestyle.
00:04:49.820 But that also determines on whether you give them that entitlement.
00:04:52.480 Whether you give them that.
00:04:53.900 But do you not like it when a guy has a bit of, like, control?
00:04:56.120 Or, like, with me, even though I have a lot of control in my career and in my life, but
00:05:00.720 I like to feel, you know, petite and cute.
00:05:03.480 So, I like when a man is like, oh, John Turner says, like, give it to me.
00:05:06.440 I like to have, like, a bit of controlling.
00:05:09.720 Like, oh, where are you?
00:05:10.940 Yeah.
00:05:11.180 John Turner says, I want to know you care about me.
00:05:12.620 Because also, like, the whole controlling thing shows you that he cares as well.
00:05:16.080 I think that's important in any relationship.
00:05:17.680 Okay.
00:05:18.420 This is confusing.
00:05:19.300 You're nodding.
00:05:20.620 And she says this.
00:05:21.540 You agree.
00:05:22.760 But she's saying the opposite of what you said.
00:05:24.720 No, because you know why.
00:05:25.680 No, no, no.
00:05:25.780 She's taking an account.
00:05:27.020 She's taking an account.
00:05:28.340 I agree.
00:05:28.460 I agree because of the context that she means it in.
00:05:31.600 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:05:32.500 She doesn't mean, like, toxic or, like, in an angry way.
00:05:35.040 In a controlling way, as in, I would want you to show me that you care.
00:05:40.960 I get that.
00:05:41.560 I like that.
00:05:42.120 I'm not going to lie.
00:05:42.640 I think she means it.
00:05:43.280 I can't lie.
00:05:44.120 No, no, no.
00:05:44.880 I can't lie.
00:05:45.680 So show me that you want me.
00:05:47.280 Chase me.
00:05:48.300 Okay, okay.
00:05:49.000 So show me that you want me.
00:05:50.360 You don't want him to feel entitled to making decisions.
00:05:53.160 Yes.
00:05:53.580 But you want him to chase you.
00:05:55.560 Okay.
00:05:56.240 I'm just writing this down.
00:05:57.460 Yes.
00:05:58.060 Chase you.
00:05:59.400 I do think that there's a huge difference between controlling and a bit of dominance.
00:06:04.320 And I think that as a woman, I think in a relationship, you're like a man that has a little bit of dominance.
00:06:08.740 I think controlling and, like, constantly checking where you are, I feel like it's a bit too much.
00:06:13.920 In my opinion, anyway, I feel like there should be a level of trust in a relationship.
00:06:17.160 Word.
00:06:17.620 If you're chasing, constantly asking where someone is.
00:06:19.420 But no, when I say where are you, it's more of like, oh, are you safe?
00:06:22.500 Are you at home yet?
00:06:23.360 Okay, yeah.
00:06:23.920 So that's different.
00:06:25.080 Yeah.
00:06:25.880 Okay.
00:06:26.220 What's the difference between controlling and dominance?
00:06:28.640 I think a dominant man is someone that can, like, make decisions.
00:06:31.580 Like, say, for example, like, we're going on a date.
00:06:35.280 Okay, I'm picking you up at eight.
00:06:37.100 I'm taking you somewhere.
00:06:38.020 Like, that's kind of like dominance.
00:06:39.200 Or, like, did you get home safe?
00:06:40.700 Or, you know, checking up on you and making sure you're good.
00:06:42.960 But, like, instead of being like, where are you?
00:06:44.980 What are you doing?
00:06:45.600 Who are you with?
00:06:46.080 Show me who you're with.
00:06:47.240 Okay, that's a bit mad.
00:06:48.320 You can't wear that outfit.
00:06:49.640 Like, that is very toxic.
00:06:50.620 So you want him to be able to make the decisions, but not the decision of what to wear.
00:06:57.180 Okay, so, do you know what?
00:06:59.340 That is attractive, though, when a man goes, when a man goes, oh, babe, I want you to wear
00:07:04.180 that sexy outfit.
00:07:05.200 You'll look good in that.
00:07:06.040 Okay, yeah.
00:07:07.000 That's cute.
00:07:07.680 That means he trusts you, though.
00:07:08.960 Don't you think there's a level of trust?
00:07:10.360 Because many men, yeah, what you're saying is manipulation, not, I don't think you guys
00:07:14.860 are really answering the question by what she said, what is a toxic relationship.
00:07:18.760 You guys are just saying the guys being controlling and manipulative.
00:07:22.300 I feel like those are two different things.
00:07:24.460 Yeah, I agree with that.
00:07:26.080 Okay, what do you think?
00:07:26.920 I feel like a toxic relationship is when two people are going at each other, but in a way
00:07:32.000 where you know that what one person's saying is not good, and what another person's saying
00:07:36.060 is not good, but it's like, in your head, it's good to them, but in their head, it's
00:07:40.740 not good.
00:07:41.520 So it's like, you guys are fighting and banning, like, okay, what's that?
00:07:44.640 It's like, do you get what I'm trying to say?
00:07:46.120 Yeah, you're clashing with each other.
00:07:46.960 You might love each other to pieces, but if it doesn't work and you have that clash
00:07:50.860 all the time, then it's going to be consistently toxic.
00:07:53.760 That's what makes it toxic.
00:07:54.780 So extreme fighting?
00:07:56.360 Yeah.
00:07:56.680 Okay.
00:07:57.420 Knowing that it's not good, but you're still doing it and you're still together.
00:08:01.500 Yeah.
00:08:01.780 So knowing it's not good, but staying together.
00:08:04.740 Yeah.
00:08:05.060 Yeah.
00:08:05.300 What about rough patches in marriages?
00:08:08.860 I think rough patches in marriages, I mean...
00:08:11.840 Because don't you argue all the time during a rough patch in a marriage, you wouldn't think?
00:08:14.820 I agree, but what I would say is if you're married to someone, it's a lifelong commitment
00:08:19.440 and I think those are things that you should be able to work through by communication.
00:08:23.140 Like, there's even, like, couples therapy, even.
00:08:26.960 Like, if you need to do it, if you're willing to, like, work through that, then you can get
00:08:30.900 through it.
00:08:31.360 But, yeah.
00:08:32.900 Everyone argues.
00:08:34.140 You're not going to agree on everything.
00:08:34.920 See, it's just, it's very broad, everything you guys are saying.
00:08:37.360 I'm just trying to lock you down onto one thing.
00:08:41.380 Go ahead.
00:08:42.040 Go ahead.
00:08:42.140 I feel like it depends on what the topic of conversation is and what you guys are arguing
00:08:46.020 about.
00:08:46.800 That then depends whether if it's toxic or a thing where I'm correcting you and what you're
00:08:50.560 doing is wrong.
00:08:51.680 Yeah.
00:08:52.360 Wait, say that again.
00:08:53.140 Sorry.
00:08:53.760 That all depends on what you guys are arguing about for you to know whether it is toxic
00:08:59.280 or a thing where you're just correcting the person.
00:09:02.160 Because, yeah.
00:09:03.260 So, what would be an example of something that's toxic and something that's not?
00:09:08.500 I've got one.
00:09:09.220 I've got such a good one.
00:09:11.400 I've got such a good one.
00:09:12.760 God is free.
00:09:13.520 Oh, I need so deep breaths.
00:09:16.320 Liking other girls' pictures on Instagram, following bad girls, that is toxic in itself.
00:09:21.780 I'm sorry, but it is.
00:09:23.060 Don't you think it's toxic to be constantly looking who he's following and who he's liking?
00:09:29.540 That's why I say it takes two to tango.
00:09:31.680 Yeah, but at the end of the day.
00:09:33.260 Yeah, if you really like one person and you like the person you're with, why do you need
00:09:37.660 to seek elsewhere?
00:09:38.500 Why do you need to have temptation?
00:09:39.700 Yeah, but why do you got to get upset over an Instagram?
00:09:42.420 Because you're double tapping it because you clearly like what you're seeing.
00:09:46.560 If you like what you're seeing, go with them then.
00:09:49.200 You don't waste my time.
00:09:50.300 You don't think you're looking for drama in a way?
00:09:52.660 No, I'm trying to see if I can trust him.
00:09:54.620 I'm trying to see if I can trust him.
00:09:56.400 You're doing it for trust.
00:09:57.320 It's not just me.
00:09:57.880 But shouldn't you go into relationships in good faith?
00:10:01.540 No, no, no.
00:10:01.960 Everything she's saying is right.
00:10:03.880 The reason why I'm saying everything she's saying is right.
00:10:05.280 No, it's real.
00:10:05.520 Yes.
00:10:06.000 As you know, we are Gen Z.
00:10:07.740 The way things were back then is totally different.
00:10:09.980 You guys didn't have social media.
00:10:11.160 You guys didn't have phones.
00:10:12.140 You guys are all about trust.
00:10:13.400 Fake marriage.
00:10:13.420 But I mean, you guys, I mean, the people, you never had phones.
00:10:15.820 I had a phone.
00:10:16.760 I don't know what you're talking about.
00:10:20.140 So you guys didn't have phones.
00:10:21.480 So when you guys see people on the street and you're like, you'll go to them, you'll
00:10:25.120 chirp them, right?
00:10:26.040 But now, chirping is double tapping.
00:10:29.340 Because it says a lot about a man's sexual discipline as well.
00:10:31.940 Chirping is double tapping.
00:10:32.900 Okay, what about when girls post selfies while in a relationship?
00:10:36.380 Yeah, it's the same thing.
00:10:37.100 It's the same thing?
00:10:37.720 Yeah, chirping is double tapping and liking a girl's picture.
00:10:40.280 That's showing that, yes, you're attracted to them.
00:10:42.380 And when they say slide in your DMs.
00:10:43.460 So would you say a toxic girl post selfies while she's in a relationship? 1.00
00:10:48.620 If her intention is to get a reaction out of that from a certain audience, then yes.
00:10:55.020 But what if his intention was just to like the picture?
00:10:57.380 Why would you just like a...
00:10:59.620 And if anything, let's have an open conversation about it.
00:11:01.740 Yeah, you know what?
00:11:02.520 Yeah, because I don't like a single guy's picture.
00:11:05.100 You know what I mean?
00:11:05.900 Because why would I give them the satisfaction of seeing me in their notifications?
00:11:11.200 No, thank you.
00:11:11.640 I mean, to be honest, I don't really think that liking a girl's Instagram picture is that deep.
00:11:15.880 I think, obviously, if they go ahead and DM them and message them.
00:11:18.860 Yeah.
00:11:19.180 Because you can appreciate someone's beauty, but without...
00:11:21.160 But you're preying the girl.
00:11:22.600 But you can just go through your feet and appreciate someone's beauty.
00:11:24.480 Couldn't you say the same thing about women that post suggestive Instagram pictures while in a relationship? 0.99
00:11:30.840 That they're looking for attention?
00:11:32.860 Even if it's just a selfie, you know that men are going to...
00:11:34.740 You know how men are.
00:11:35.620 You know how they're going to look.
00:11:36.060 What if they're in an open relationship?
00:11:37.600 We're not talking about open relationships.
00:11:39.360 If she's looking at who he's following...
00:11:41.760 That is two complete different topics, yeah?
00:11:44.360 A girl posting pictures of...
00:11:46.580 It's about female empowerment at the end of the day. 1.00
00:11:49.200 Look, we've got all female panel, female empowerment. 1.00
00:11:51.620 It really just sounds like you want to do whatever you want, but he can't do whatever he wants.
00:11:56.840 Yeah.
00:11:57.300 Oh, excuse me!
00:11:58.560 Because at the end of the day, if you're in a relationship with a man, there should be a level of trust there.
00:12:02.760 So you just, you know that already.
00:12:04.220 If he's liking another Instagram post, it's never that deep because he's not going to speak to that girl.
00:12:08.120 It's because the trust isn't there.
00:12:08.920 It's because the trust isn't there.
00:12:09.980 But you shouldn't be in a relationship with someone you don't trust.
00:12:11.840 The trust should be there before you get into something serious with them.
00:12:13.640 But what do we think about that happening during a dating, like when you're dating, like the dating base?
00:12:18.600 Is that still allowed then?
00:12:19.560 I mean, shouldn't you go into a relationship in good faith, like assuming the best?
00:12:23.580 No, but let's say you're just dating.
00:12:25.260 You're not in a relationship, but you're about to get into the relationship.
00:12:28.640 But then you...
00:12:30.040 You know what I mean?
00:12:30.840 I kind of think you're overthinking it way too much.
00:12:33.800 Yeah, I think, I mean, if you guys are together and it's something serious,
00:12:36.800 and then he starts to go and follow loads of girls and then he's moving like that,
00:12:39.960 that's a bit different.
00:12:40.620 That's different, that's different.
00:12:41.680 That's a bit different.
00:12:42.280 I'm talking in a dating phase where you're getting to know each other
00:12:44.940 and he's still lacking other girls' pictures.
00:12:46.220 Well, you're both single, so you have the rights to do whatever you want, I think.
00:12:50.180 Unless it becomes something serious.
00:12:51.840 If you're single, you're going to chat to whoever and they're going to chat to whoever.
00:12:55.160 And then if you decide that it's something that is worth trying for,
00:12:58.620 then you guys cut off your links or you do whatever.
00:13:01.540 Do you know what I mean?
00:13:02.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:13:03.440 No, that's fair, because a relationship is more based off trust.
00:13:06.800 Right?
00:13:07.280 Yeah.
00:13:07.700 And then dating is more for, I don't even know, man.
00:13:10.720 This is why I say single.
00:13:12.660 Men are just, I honestly think you're...
00:13:15.780 Wait, wait, wait, wait, guys, guys, guys, finish your men or what?
00:13:20.540 Men are just, some of you, some of you just need a pattern of. 0.95
00:13:24.560 Did you know I was just banned on TikTok?
00:13:27.740 And we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform.
00:13:31.580 if you want to help please consider sending a super thanks below every
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