Modern Woman Ranting About Her Life.
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
201.54796
Summary
In this episode, we are joined by our good friend and podcast co-host, and we talk about the importance of mental health and how important it is to talk about it. We talk about our own experiences with trauma and how it has impacted our life and how we have dealt with it in the past and present.
Transcript
00:00:12.520
But it is because honestly the people, and I'm telling you, I'm around these people.
00:00:16.340
The people that are really successful, they don't talk about that.
00:00:20.320
They're so excited about this next project, this, this, and this.
00:00:23.100
Yeah, I'm really excited about all the projects that I've got going on.
00:00:25.880
And maybe you are, but I'm saying the way you've represented yourself in this conversation,
00:00:32.740
You've come from a privileged place where your mindset has been amazing for you.
00:00:41.040
This is like a conversation with a 60-year-old.
00:00:42.740
And I started changing my mindset, say, about 27, 28, when I realized that I had to deprogram.
00:00:56.200
The results is you still can't have a conversation without getting defensive.
00:01:01.560
No, because when you're being attacked from people that don't know your life story or know your current.
00:01:11.800
We were talking about being successful in business.
00:01:17.940
And the topic was, yeah, the subject was about profession, like in business, being successful in business.
00:01:26.100
So, but what you, but the conversation has gone into like a spiritual journey.
00:01:37.120
Before I started this show, I really thought healing meant something else.
00:01:42.340
I really thought when women like healed, they went to therapy.
00:01:44.920
But I just found healing is like another word for just sleeping around.
00:02:13.100
But I think healing works with actually self-reflecting, challenging yourself and think, okay, how can I, how can, okay, I've done this.
00:02:22.660
And you self-reflect and you figure out how you're going to heal, how you're going to get through it, how you're going to treat a situation differently next time.
00:02:33.340
But it's like, how many times you got to have the same experience before you learn?
00:02:41.960
By what I've seen, I don't know why, but always stranger girls come and talk to me and they tell me their whole lives.
00:02:49.780
And what I find sad is, and that's why I say, like, it's so important for us as humans to be understanding because some people mentally, they're not built like that.
00:03:03.860
No, I think, I think, I think, okay, I think it's good to be understanding when it comes to mental health.
00:03:12.380
I think that, okay, nowadays, everybody's got a mental health.
00:03:19.940
Everyone's got, I remember, I remember when, oh, you know what my least favorite word is now?
00:03:26.720
Trauma used to be about war, not your ex-boyfriend cheating on you.
00:03:31.080
That's not trauma, that's you being a dickhead.
00:03:32.920
That's what I say too, but now, now, this is my trauma.
00:03:36.440
I've gone through trauma because my ex-boyfriend, no, it's supposed to be war.
00:03:39.760
Because you took me back three times, so you're a dickhead.
00:03:41.660
Yeah, but I don't think, I don't think it's the cheating.
00:03:43.960
I mean, are you saying most cases when people talk about relationship trauma, they're only talking specifically about the cheating?
00:03:53.900
Or are they talking about giving, continuously giving men a chance.
00:04:00.060
This is the, giving, giving, no pause, no pause.
00:04:05.180
Giving, giving, giving, giving, giving, giving, but this is, this is, no, no, when you say, when you say, when you say giving, when you say giving, okay, one man up.
00:04:16.400
It's like, it's always, it's always the man needs to be better.
00:04:23.420
When you have trauma and it's not even from relationships.
00:04:29.600
Men make more than women at large for a lifetime.
00:04:33.820
Women weigh more than men and they have higher body counts than men.
00:04:40.580
So women in general have higher body counts than men?
00:04:57.720
There's a lot of over-talking support costs at the end of the day.
00:05:01.600
Let the moderator pick the person who's talking.
00:05:04.240
One out of three men are either virgins or haven't had sex in the past year.
00:05:07.200
Have one out of three women, are they virgins or haven't had sex in the past year?
00:05:16.160
I think you're not choosing to stop having, like, intercourse now.
00:05:21.980
Like, you've heard stories where men have gloated about, oh, I've slated with 250 women.
00:05:27.980
You would never hear a woman say that unless she's from OnlyFans.
00:05:34.420
I've just never experienced that conversation from a woman.
00:05:38.360
Yeah, because women aren't going to brag about that stuff.
00:05:41.500
But it goes back to a small percentage of men are having a lot of sex.
00:05:47.060
So a small percentage of men, they're the biggest whore.
00:05:52.800
There are a small percentage of men that are having more sex than women.
00:05:56.020
But by and large, women are having more sex than men.
00:06:03.740
No, but it's the contraceptive pill that I'm telling you.
00:06:09.520
Because what she's saying, I think, is that the chances of a woman to get more men and hide in it
00:06:32.100
If you really wanted to, you could have at least, well, good-looking women anyway.
00:06:39.220
Actually, I'd like to, can I correct just one thing?
00:06:41.340
One thing I'm going to correct, then you can finish.
00:06:43.220
An average woman gets more matches on dating apps than a top 1% guy.
00:06:49.060
If you look at your DMs, you know for a fact, if you just rang someone or just said, yeah,
00:07:00.340
And so, realistically, women probably do have the more sex that we could do if we wanted to.
00:07:06.540
Yeah, but what she's trying to say is that you don't actually know how many women they say it out loud.
00:07:13.720
But, no, I'm just agreeing with what she said because it's the truth.
00:07:19.620
It is literally when you think about your DMs because it's a crazy place.
00:07:28.320
But it's also if you walked into a bar and you just stood in the bar and you said,
00:07:40.980
So, yeah, so they have, like, a girl go up to guys and a guy go up to girls.
00:07:45.020
And it's, like, over half the guys are, like, okay.
00:07:48.440
Because she was a cute girl and they had a hot guy go up to girls.
00:07:56.600
Doesn't that show the statistics of women trying to just keep themselves to themselves?
00:08:03.460
Like, because, okay, all women would be, like, oh, they don't want extra body counts.
00:08:11.740
Like, it's easier for women to get sex than men.
00:08:14.340
So, it's, like, a man has to have something for you to be interested in him.
00:08:19.800
So, it's, like, you're going to want him to have a good job, right?
00:08:49.680
What percent of men do you find attractive, usually, would you say?
00:08:58.200
So, if you're, like, the stats, you'll find two attractive.
00:09:00.760
So, out of the 15%, you're going to find two out of the 10 that are over six foot attractive.
00:09:06.620
And let's say one of them is in your income category that you look for and one isn't.
00:09:13.020
And most women, most women are looking, most women, most women are looking for 1% and you
00:09:36.160
Like I said, I did use to date a very rich guy.
00:09:41.720
When we stopped dating, I was like, oh my God, how am I going to get to get this level?
00:09:51.600
Statistically, statistically, you probably won't replace him.
00:10:02.800
But your DMs might be popping, but engagements count.
00:10:16.820
I've had crazy messages, but you know, come on.
00:10:23.760
But obviously, out of those DMs, one of them was the one.
00:10:33.380
Every girl's walking through life thinking they're going to win the lottery and date this top 1%
00:10:37.180
that men, he has to be over 6 foot, he has to make over 70K, he has to be attractive,
00:10:43.560
But see, this is, but this is, here, here, here, wait.
00:10:49.700
And like, and it's possible, but it's not probable.
00:10:55.640
Okay, so big banks are investing in things like cat food, wine, because 50% of women are projected
00:11:03.420
So that means all the girls in this room, half of us will never have kids.
00:11:09.020
So if you say, oh, just manifest it, believe, it sounds nice.
00:11:12.320
And it's also like, if you don't get married by 35, your odds of getting married and having
00:11:15.540
a long, stable relationship ever, it's very, it's very low.
00:11:37.860
When a single woman reaches the age of 30, the statistical probability of her successfully
00:11:43.180
finding a long-term relationship and having just one child falls below 50%, it then declines
00:11:52.620
This is based on the average fertility rates in developed countries, of course, but it's
00:11:57.860
It would take a single 30-year-old woman to find a good mate and progress the relationship
00:12:03.640
A little messed up is what you consider the average age of first child is 29 for women.
00:12:10.740
And most women start taking the idea of a family seriously in their late 20s and 30s.
00:12:19.840
61, the failure rates of IVF is 61.1% in women under 34.
00:12:26.240
So out of 100 women that go and get IVF, 61% fail.
00:12:31.140
And women that are between the ages of 35 to 38, it's 73.7%.
00:12:43.660
Isn't it now that there's more female binge drinkers than male for the first time ever?
00:12:52.420
There's more female, yeah, there's more, you can go ahead.
00:12:55.560
Yeah, it was like, it was something that came out earlier this year that there are now more female binge drinkers than males.
00:13:02.640
And it's the first time in history this has happened.
00:13:16.300
Yeah, but that's the first time in history that women are drinking more.
00:13:32.720
According to the average span of committed relationships, of committed dating relationships,
00:13:37.280
the average, and the average interval of time women take between relationships,
00:13:43.480
an average woman has a maximum of, guess how many serious relationships?
00:13:53.620
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, guys, guys, wait, let me finish.
00:13:58.080
A maximum of five serious relationships, five swings at a bat,
00:14:01.540
before her chance of starting a family drops to zero.
00:14:04.340
So that means if you've had five boyfriends, your chance of a family has dropped to zero.
00:14:13.420
According to the average span of committed dating relationships,
00:14:17.240
and the average interval of time women take between relationships,
00:14:21.500
the average woman has a maximum of five serious relationships,
00:14:24.940
five swings at the bat, before her chances of starting a family drops to zero.
00:14:33.580
But this is, but see, but see, this is like, and that sounds, that sounds depressing.
00:14:43.920
Wait, what if they, what if the new generation,
00:14:46.280
what if these people are just willing to love easily?
00:14:52.900
we always do a roundabout way to make the numbers not sound like what they are.
00:14:56.420
Yeah, but numbers were only numbers when people started creating numbers.
00:15:02.060
Numbers, wait, numbers were only numbers when people started creating numbers.
00:15:11.080
Like, how did you count how many rocks before they were even?
00:15:15.020
I'm just saying, what really makes sense nowadays, the stats, like, who are these people that put out these reports?
00:15:21.980
They do, they do, they do, they do, they do surveys, they do surveys, it's self-reported in different countries around the world,
00:15:29.240
So, so they, they start to have a similar conclusion and a similar trend.
00:15:32.940
So, when we, when we tell women, oh, it's going to be okay, it's like, my DMs are full, this, this, this.
00:15:37.980
For a lot of women, for a lot of women, it's not going to be okay.
00:15:40.820
And out of women that don't have kids, 80% of them wish they had them.
00:15:45.600
No, it's going to be okay, record this, though, at the end of the day, that's what I'm saying, sometimes these conversations could also go to the other side of the spectrum.
00:15:56.360
I think that these sort of conversations we have, they can sometimes be very strategic and stats have stated and these people, yeah, but there's a whole group, community of people who don't do surveys and just love their life and love people and talk to people and are real and they don't give their reports back.
00:16:14.400
Okay, okay, so, okay, okay, so, some, some, some, some people, you're right, some people don't take surveys, but if we're doing surveys in different places and they're all concluding the same thing, it's like, if you don't want to believe numbers, you don't have to.
00:16:29.580
You can just live in the, in the land of feelings, but, but, it's,
00:16:33.100
it's quite hard to do that when you're living in the land of logic, like, should we, should we do an episode that's just like statistics and just teaching people statistics, we can say you're, you're, what you're talking about is self-selection bias, but once you get over about 1400 people, you kind of have a pretty standard distribution, which is statistically significant.
00:16:56.100
these numbers are pretty damn tight, so, we'll do one episode pro for white school statistics, what do you think?
00:17:01.500
I would love, I would love to teach that for us.
00:17:02.520
Actually, to be honest with you, to be honest with you, Demetrius, I feel like, Demetrius, sorry, my apologies, Demetrius, as you said, Demetrius, not Demetrius, the one that was going to take his suit before he got you.
00:17:18.640
Ha ha, that's what he said the whole way, we stopped him.
00:17:24.200
Basically, what I'm saying is that, yes, you know, not all of us were taught to be wives.
00:17:32.720
And maybe that's because our mothers saw what happened to wives.
00:17:47.640
Yes, so just just the one part just the part about you. They were not taught what let me not get him. Okay, you're right
00:17:56.280
Woman that raised certain woman in this world. Mm-hmm. They never taught their children or their daughters
00:18:01.840
Obviously, that's true wives because they had experienced what happens to wives and they were like
00:18:07.800
I'm not gonna be a wife because that means I have to stand up with a guy and that's due to
00:18:13.200
Relationship, but what what outcomes are better?
00:18:16.120
No, but but this is but this is this is the thing like single single single single child single childless women are not happy by and large
00:18:24.980
They're not over over that. I don't think life is about only happiness. I mean, what okay?
00:18:30.080
What do you want your life to look like? Okay? No, no, listen listen two seconds. Just listen
00:18:34.440
What do you want your life to look like at 60 65?
00:18:37.980
What do you want Christmas to look like your fan your family? I just want okay look whole. Okay. Okay. Not listen
00:18:44.340
Listen, okay, what what do you do you want to spend it alone at 65?
00:18:50.080
Your parents are probably passed away then on 70 65 for myself?
00:18:53.760
Definitely not okay for me personally. All right
00:18:57.200
So what are you arguing about here? I'm arguing that
00:19:01.580
Community and having family and being a single woman doesn't come with a lonely life
00:19:07.200
The stats disagree no women that women that don't have children are on antidepressants and they drink more disagree. That's okay
00:19:16.020
Mm-hmm. That's okay because so then what do you what are you are probably on?
00:19:20.940
Antidepressants and they on they drink tap water and they do
00:19:24.940
Certain things that sound like they're wrong. It's not funny. No, no, and then you know, they're they're just okay
00:19:29.900
Are the are this are the single childless women that you know typically happy are they happy?
00:19:34.620
They're in that position typically like majority of the time. Okay, they're they're all happy. Yes
00:19:40.300
And if they and if they had to pick they would rather be by themselves then with a man they respect love and admire
00:19:45.820
Yeah, they would prefer that no no pick one. What would they prefer typically pick but how could I pick one?
00:19:55.360
They'd rather be alone or with a man that they love respect and admire, which one would they pick the rough
00:20:28.060
But it's true what you said not a lot of women have taught their um girls to be wives because they haven't come from that background
00:20:40.220
But why is that your answer? It's a painful reality
00:20:43.420
Why because when I talk when I'm saying the woman that were not raised to be wives
00:20:49.020
It's because their mothers had experienced something else
00:20:56.140
That's why there's so many women who aren't wives who have to go to wife school
00:21:03.340
To say someone's great-grandma went through some sort of trauma
00:21:07.020
As you mentioned earlier they're gonna pass it down to their daughter
00:21:11.180
They ain't gonna teach them how to then it goes down to it
00:21:13.340
It's a knock-on effect what they're saying is generational
00:21:19.660
But the difference is people used to go through trauma together
00:21:23.580
Like I mean, I know a couple I know a couple that had that they they lost a child
00:21:30.300
They lost a child and they they they stuck it out and they figured out a way to make it work
00:21:33.900
And they ended up having more kids, but that ruins most relationships
00:21:37.740
Nowadays women's trauma is just not being happy having to listen to their husband
00:21:44.300
Do you feel like in this generation now a lot of women are so quick to throw in the towel?
00:21:59.820
I'm doing a documentary on the court system in the uk
00:22:03.260
And I I can tell you firsthand men are not the first to throw in the towel
00:22:10.780
So it might be for the kids, but that the men are more selfless than the women because they care about the kids
00:22:57.900
And i'm telling you i'm doing a documentary on this
00:23:02.220
Because here the courts think about if you're if you're in a contract right
00:23:05.660
And person a gets everything by leaving they get the house they get the kids they get everything and person b
00:23:10.700
They lose everything person b is always trying to please person a because they have more to lose
00:23:17.660
So it changes the way we interact in relationships in my opinion
00:23:21.020
Where that's why we always have like women wearing the pants especially in the west
00:23:24.460
Because the men are always trying to appease the women
00:23:29.020
So yeah, I do I do think women today throw in the towel and partially it's because they're paid to
00:23:33.020
April i've had clients cry to me i've had like in law offices the partners i've had them cry to me over the years
00:23:41.420
Because of the divorce they're going through and not being able to see their kids
00:23:46.380
And it's and it's like and we know statistically it's 80 of women that leave the relationships
00:23:53.980
Like i've had that relation where they're like dude and they just fall
00:23:56.620
Yeah, I know many men i know i've met many men who are actually depressed and that's how they go into depression because they've lost their kids
00:24:05.900
And the mother is usually being sparked for just not letting them see their kid not giving them the right
00:24:10.540
And can i say something though um i don't want to justify the thing that um
00:24:15.420
Women sometimes they can be evil and uh take their kids and use them against their husbands
00:24:20.540
But you have to check how many marriage are made where the woman she does everything she goes to work
00:24:26.460
She takes care of kids. She does everything and the man just goes to work and goes home and chills
00:24:31.340
Like you don't really know the reason why people divorce and like i believe there's so many marriages nowadays
00:24:36.460
Well, why did she have a kid with a guy that just sits at the couch all day?
00:24:40.460
I mean, why did she pick him not because the most of the men they say that like men in business or whatever
00:24:46.940
Men by and large make more than women. Sorry men by and large make more than women. Yeah, I know
00:24:52.220
But because they make more than women they they feel that they are able to like just go home and chill or watch the tv
00:24:58.540
Or go with their friends to drink a beer while the woman she goes to work
00:25:02.620
She looks after the kids. She takes care of the house. She pays the bill. She does she does everything basically
00:25:08.700
Please okay, this is literally we talked about this today with kareel. So this is really interesting and again, this is going to be super offensive
00:25:24.140
Messy the football soccer football player his wife isn't leaving him because he doesn't do the dishes
00:25:29.500
When the wife's like I left him because he didn't do the chores. It's like
00:25:33.020
That lebron is lebron's wife leaving him because he doesn't do the dishes. That's a bullshit reason. That's not true
00:25:37.500
Let me tell you what is true. Okay clean is the answer is he's not if if a wife is like i'm leaving because my husband doesn't do chores
00:25:44.060
It's because he's not making enough money. That's the reason now and and the stack
00:25:48.220
I'll make it very simple. I hate this. I told you it's gonna be here. It's true. So so I
00:25:52.860
That makes sense. Listen up. I come I come home if you do the logic. I come home and i'm like
00:25:57.020
I just work like a 14 hour day. I'm super tired. You know, I
00:26:01.100
Whatever pull my portion next to my wife's g-wagon that I got her. She's very cool. Everything's great
00:26:05.980
And i'm freaking tired and I can see my wife which we got four kids. She's working really hard around the house
00:26:11.820
And i'm like, honey, listen, um, let me just get a maid to come in and clean the house
00:26:17.020
And my wife's like, no, no, I I want to do this myself
00:26:21.660
I'll tell you i'm not gonna I just worked 14 hours
00:26:23.100
I'm gonna touch a dish in my life and I told her if i'm single
00:26:25.180
I have a full-time live-in maid and my like i'll literally get a nanny for myself if i'm single and she will just do everything
00:26:33.100
To get a lady to come in and help around the house
00:26:35.100
So in comes like this hot 23 year old ukrainian girl that's now living in estonia as a refugee and she's in there wiping the
00:26:42.380
Everything I see my wife do the side. She never showed up again
00:26:47.740
What i'm saying is gentlemen, this is going to be offensive listen up if you have a if you are don't want to do dishes
00:26:56.060
And you are successful enough to hire a maid hire a hot maid and i promise your wife will do the damn dishes
00:27:05.100
I want to give you guys a stat wait no wait um surprisingly studies showed that the divorce rate among couples who share
00:27:10.700
Um chores equally was 50 percent higher than among those where the wife does the majority of the work
00:27:18.940
But i'm not saying i'm not saying because the men like because the man doesn't do because obviously the woman for nature
00:27:25.420
Like even like in all the religion right the woman is the one that she looks after the kids after the house and everything
00:27:31.340
But like at the same time if a man can make like that type of amount of money that he can come home and show
00:27:37.980
Then why her wife she should go to work and be like oh
00:27:41.580
I have to take care of everything like if she if her wife can decide to be at home and be like
00:27:46.060
Oh, I don't want to have like a really do you think that successful men want their wives to work?
00:27:53.820
I said I want my mom worked my mom out on my dad
00:27:56.380
So my parents got divorced and it was and I saw it as a kid. I wasn't a dumb kid
00:27:59.900
I'm like I know why it's happening because my mom started out earning my dad
00:28:03.020
I told my wife i'm like look when we get married. I want my wife to be a stay-at-home mom
00:28:07.420
I was very open about it why because I want my kids seven experience
00:28:10.620
I didn't have and I want to work my ass off to provide my kids that experience
00:28:14.380
Okay, can I just put that in there the last guy?
00:28:17.100
I was hit with even though he wanted me to have this and I have that he wanted me to do all of that
00:28:21.980
He did not want me to stay at home and raise kids
00:28:25.260
He wanted me to go to work and I'll fall well listen if you're the breadwinner and you're the alpha
00:28:30.700
Why would you want to put so much pressure on the woman?
00:28:38.220
One thing guys, so this is a topic that's come up here and I
00:28:42.700
So you're like look let's imagine we group men into two groups, okay?
00:28:46.700
Some men are slimy and and they just have you know bad character and they and they mistreat you
00:28:52.620
And maybe you know some of us were unfortunate enough to grow up with with a father like that
00:28:56.860
I just want to give a shout out to my dad by the way who never made a lot of money in his life
00:29:00.780
He's still a mechanic to this day. He's in his 60s
00:29:03.180
He's never gonna retire but man did he give me a good example of a man who suffers in dignity
00:29:07.580
My god, he just he suffers in dignity and I know he fucking hates it pardon my french
00:29:12.140
But he suffered in dignity for me because you know, he had a son me
00:29:16.700
So we can group the men into these two categories the slime balls
00:29:19.500
And then we have guys that like genuinely want an optimal outcome for their family pearl
00:29:23.340
I think your dad sounds like he might be that kind of guy
00:29:25.260
Are there any other by the way folks here with a guy with a dad like that?
00:29:29.020
Oh my goodness. So about 50% you can see 50% okay
00:29:35.500
But I would ask this question because if i'm coaching a young man or woman in our company
00:29:39.500
And they're continuously getting a negative outcome. I would ask well if 50 of the guys are the good guys
00:29:47.180
Like why are you being picked by these guys that are problematic guys because that's the experience you're describing?
00:29:51.660
What about the good guys exist and they're picking somebody we exist maybe
00:29:56.700
Maybe them sly balls know who to pre on and they just see it
00:30:00.460
So why are you why are you such a juicy target for that and why you know why?
00:30:10.300
Wait, wait, wait, this is my issue. It's like, okay once i'll give you one
00:30:14.700
All right, but it's like girls will pick two three four like at some point. It's a pattern
00:30:18.460
Because men can be very deceiving in the beginning. They can be lovely. They can be kind
00:30:28.940
Until you get to know them give it three months six months down the line then we start giving them conversations
00:30:34.060
Shall we have the kids? Shall we move in? Do you want to do that? Yeah, of course
00:30:38.620
We're speaking about life. We're not trying to waste time
00:30:44.140
Um, I think so. Well, that doesn't sound like it. No, it is
00:30:48.700
Because at the end of the day, if you come across a good man, he's hard-working
00:30:53.100
He's very dedicated to his own game. He's alpha male and da da da da, you know
00:30:58.300
You're gonna give him that time of day because you think oh, I like this energy. I like this man
00:31:02.860
So where's that man in your life? He's giving me me
00:31:05.100
I have so many to pick from and I haven't chose yet. Yeah, okay. I have many that I can actually say
00:31:28.940
If you're single, it's like then you're not the guys you want don't want to journey
00:31:34.700
So no, if you're if you're single it's come on if a guy if a guy really you thought was taking you serious and checked all your boxes
00:31:47.100
That's my that goes back to my point though because the men the men that are going for you don't live up to your standards
00:31:53.820
Actually, there's one particular person and i'm like wow you really did do that like he read and i'm really shocked
00:32:01.260
And i'm really proud of the man he's become and i've known him for many years and you know
00:32:05.820
We could have been in a relationship say 15 years ago, but i was like no i've come to london
00:32:11.180
And i'm on a journey and i don't want to be distracted by these guys because guess what they're gonna breathe put give a baby to you
00:32:17.660
No, not necessarily of course you do i'm on a journey
00:32:23.500
How can i be judging characters when i'm on a journey question you said do you have kids?
00:32:28.460
No, I don't kids and you said you're 39. Yes, you want kids?
00:32:32.300
With the right person if I don't I have many nieces and nephews. Okay, so
00:32:40.060
You haven't found the right person to have kids with so so again again i've been picky again
00:32:44.300
Right, so so there's there's there's a miss there's a misconnect there has it's either it's either wait wait
00:32:50.780
So it's either your standards. It's either your standards are too high very high
00:32:54.460
You don't know how to pick and maybe you don't have a good judge of character or the men that you want don't want you
00:33:00.140
It's one of the three like there has to be maybe the guys who I wanted
00:33:04.220
They probably don't want me no more because we're in a different
00:33:07.980
Category he's in he's far away. I would have to move to his location and
00:33:22.220
You've been dating since what you're 18 16 so in 20 years you're the only common denominator. It can't be all the men
00:33:41.660
But you know I'm okay. It might be your life choices
00:33:44.460
It might be but but it goes back to you're the common denominator. Just like my outcomes
00:33:49.900
It's my fault everyone's own outcomes are their own fault. It's choices though
00:33:55.660
I really think it's the energy that she's putting that because you're in your you're in your place where you want to go high up in life
00:34:02.700
You're also not giving those energy to those men. That's why things ain't happening as well
00:34:06.300
I can't waste time guys. I'm a I'm gonna do a little business thing here
00:34:10.860
You want you said you want to be a multi-millionaire be super successful, right?
00:34:13.340
Yeah, I'm gonna give you I'm about to make you a multi-frickin millionaire
00:34:16.460
You're ready for this start a cat food company and call your friends
00:34:21.260
No, I don't have friends like that. No, I'm sorry. You made my you might make comments
00:34:27.900
When are you gonna be a millionaire by well, there's no time plan, but we're working on the journey
00:34:32.940
So we're doing everything possible to make it over half a million saved
00:34:37.660
No, I've got some money saved on okay, so but it's like when you've had 20 years to do it
00:34:43.180
I mean, it's not about when you know what it is about when and it's also about who
00:34:48.620
With this because if I'll have such a high mentality, I need somebody to match that
00:34:54.780
Okay, so and they can't bring down at the at the rate. I'm at I'm 26. Okay, I'm 26
00:35:00.380
I probably will be a millionaire in the next five years
00:35:05.420
But I'm saying like you but I'm saying like but I could tell you I didn't need anyone else to help me do it
00:35:13.420
Like if you're 39 and you're not on the actual path to being a millionaire like
00:35:21.420
But but my my whole point but so it's still been 15 years
00:35:25.100
That I had to come and move from a different city
00:35:29.260
No, let me give you the statistics. I had to move from a different city. Okay, I had to start fresh again
00:35:35.100
Okay, you came here with nothing with nobody. Yeah, I did that a year ago
00:35:40.220
You did that a year ago. Maybe you had a bit more supportive parents. I don't have supportive parents
00:35:46.140
My dad has passed away and my mom. She's a single mom. So no, I can't look to my family for anything
00:35:51.980
So everything is all by myself, which is which is fine
00:35:56.140
You know, you can phone your dad and say dad. What a story. I've got a I've got a problem
00:36:01.900
I can't you're right, I can't I have to work it out and figure it out for myself
00:36:09.020
You still have that same problem and that's what I'm saying. It's like I am changing every day and every day
00:36:14.700
I'm getting better and better and that's what I do know
00:36:18.060
You're going to be a millionaire and this is like this just sounds that is a dream
00:36:27.740
It's a dream. It's just it's a dream. Yeah, but we're working towards it. How I do properties
00:36:33.900
You didn't ask me my life story. I'll do properties. I'll do acting. I'll do music. I'm all on intellectual property
00:36:43.420
Then your property games take time as well. You know, I mean i've been working on properties since 2017
00:36:50.460
I didn't leave school with any jcse's and I've just finished university four weeks ago
00:36:55.260
So I had to go through that journey of becoming
00:37:00.860
Do you think you're still going to have the type of energy you had in your 20s in your 40s and 50s?
00:37:05.820
Maybe not, but guess what we're gonna keep on going
00:37:08.460
But you're going to be competing with the people in their 20s and their 30s
00:37:14.780
Because if you're not telling you that for you, but there is a there is a competition
00:37:19.740
But I can't look on that. I promise you that business is absolutely a competition
00:37:28.380
Babe, you know you're saying you're not in competition my daughter is going to be 18 in july
00:37:32.540
So you really think that you're going to have the same sort of the same energy
00:37:36.540
That's what you're just saying the same energy and the same drive and the same opportunities that my 18 year daughter
00:37:41.180
Because you're you're going to be in the same gene
00:37:42.780
But would your daughter be doing the same things that i'm doing who knows
00:37:48.060
Probably not if she wants to be successful like
00:37:50.940
She could be you know, I mean she could be but we're going to be in a whole different category
00:37:55.740
I'm going to be in the say the 40 to 45 she's going to be 18 to 25
00:38:00.060
But this is there is a lot of things a 40 and a 45 year old can do
00:38:04.140
This is my point though for you. It's like you're 39
00:38:09.260
No, I'm i'm i'm just being honest. It doesn't sound like it doesn't sound like you're on track to be a millionaire
00:38:14.860
It doesn't this doesn't sound maybe you could have said that to henry for okay, okay
00:38:21.900
It doesn't based on the way you could based on your your what you're saying. It doesn't sound like you're on track
00:38:26.700
You might be I don't believe in statistics. Okay. Okay. Yeah, I don't
00:38:33.420
But business business, okay, okay, I'll give you something business people usually believe in statistics
00:38:39.100
You're going to look at your market. You're going to look at the people you're selling you believe in statistics
00:38:42.940
But if you want to be a millionaire, you probably should believe in statistics if you're so
00:38:47.180
So, wait, wait, wait, wait, so now now you're at the point
00:38:50.140
It's like you you want a family with the right guy and I can tell you do
00:38:53.820
But it's like you're curving the guy that you said would be a good relationship for you for 15 years
00:38:58.460
But attraction is everything. No, it's not. It is. It's not it is when you're younger, but when you're older, it's like you you got to pick your poison
00:39:05.180
Do you do you have money that you could be saved for retirement like what do we need 1.5 million to retire?
00:39:16.700
Oh working on it because I wasn't around the people that was
00:39:20.620
Going for those goals. I had to break myself out of my environment, but this is
00:39:30.380
My dad grew up my dad grew up on the south side of chicago with 13 kids
00:39:35.660
He didn't grow up in a good environment. None of his siblings are successful
00:39:38.860
It's either you're going to be successful or you're not and most of the time people that are going to be millionaires are on the way
00:39:43.980
By the time they're your age because you'd have to compete with the people that are in their 20s and 30s and have way more energy
00:39:49.820
Than you're going to that does not matter because everybody's going to be evolving
00:39:54.620
Differently probably can I uh, this is like the reason um, I think some of us are a little bit taken back
00:40:06.940
I really feel like with the cost of living a million pound is nothing as well and that's the sad part
00:40:14.860
Right, okay. Sorry. Go ahead. Go ahead. So sorry. I forgot your name
00:40:20.620
Abby, I apologize for that. Um, you're obviously
00:40:23.660
Intelligent like there's no question we can tell it like your thoughts are there
00:40:27.420
You're you look nice, you know, like you're a nice looking lady. You're smart. Your verbal intelligence is fairly high
00:40:36.780
There's there's a lot of opportunity a lot of potential. You recognize your own potential, you know
00:40:41.420
Yeah, so that's why i'm not involved by competition or anything because once you're in your tunnel vision
00:40:48.380
The delusion like you don't have to sell us anymore on that we already know but you're smart you're you're well-spoken
00:40:53.820
You're you're beautiful like you have a lot of the potential is incredible. The potential is incredible
00:41:00.540
But but there's the I had this situation this situation this situation this situation now pearl's dad one of 13
00:41:07.420
Certainly didn't grow up very privileged, right?
00:41:09.500
So you guys meet like real simple like I grew up as a jew in the soviet union, which was not a happy place for me
00:41:15.500
We immigrated to canada in 92 which were eating at the food bank and then
00:41:20.300
Here here here's what happened to me. I'll tell you guys a quick story and I hope it's interesting, right?
00:41:29.340
Like four or five kilometers to go from my parked car on the highway to my university because I couldn't afford the 75 cents a day
00:41:36.780
They were charging for parking at my university because I was paying my own school
00:41:40.060
So I was rollerblading I would park on the highway and I would rollerblade like a good hour to get to my university campus
00:41:49.100
You're so motivated, you know, I can see you like you want to stay in shape blah blah blah
00:41:52.460
And i'm too embarrassed to tell this person i'm just freaking poor
00:42:01.340
I was lucky because I met a mentor somebody that said hey, you know
00:42:05.340
You want to do better than this? I was like, yeah, and that's a dangerous thing
00:42:08.140
I was like 19 or 20. It's a dangerous thing and this person said to me
00:42:11.020
I work on this company and all this person was doing is selling encyclopedias door-to-door
00:42:14.940
And they said you can go do this and I that's that's what I did for six years how I paid for university
00:42:20.220
And I got like two degrees by selling encyclopedias door-to-door for six years
00:42:28.380
That saw my potential saw my energy and I was delusional because whatever I was doing I couldn't afford 75 cents for parking
00:42:34.860
So I knew that I was delusional because what I wanted was not what I had in my life fair enough
00:42:39.180
I'm gonna give a plug. So that's what we do in our company
00:42:42.700
53 percent of our sales people make six figures within 18 months
00:42:48.700
The reason I plug us here is lgb.com really simple
00:42:53.020
What you need is like to be around somebody that's actually done what you want to do
00:42:58.940
Like there are people that have done what you want to do find those people and they will be so happy happy to mentor you
00:43:05.020
Because you know, that's what we do in our company, isn't it?
00:43:07.020
What makes you think I'm not in those group of people? What makes you think I am not evolving around those people?
00:43:16.700
Properly at 26 years old when I moved to london
00:43:20.860
I still had to educate myself. I came here with a hundred and eight pounds in my pocket
00:43:25.660
Tell me how I'm gonna sort myself out get my house crew
00:43:31.980
I'm gonna let him go. I don't think he's talked yet
00:43:35.180
To your point, uh, you was talking about how you came here with a hundred pounds
00:43:39.820
I immigrated from bulgaria with my parents and we lived in a single room
00:43:46.060
It was just a single room the three of us and right now i'm 21 and just like you
00:43:51.420
I wanted to do better for myself because I was an electrician
00:43:58.460
And I joined and all of a sudden i'm meeting high net worth individuals on a daily basis
00:44:05.180
And i'm improving myself and you're here saying I had to take myself from the toxic situations that I had in my life
00:44:13.260
Yes, but everyone deals with them. So that's really an excuse that you tell yourself. That's true, but can I say something um
00:44:20.700
For you can look like an excuse. Yeah, but what she's trying to say. Yeah, you had still your parents on your back
00:44:25.900
You came with your parents on a single room, but you were with your parents
00:44:30.140
You were not by yourself. You were not providing and food by yourself. You were not paying your bills by yourself
00:44:43.260
I understand her because I get it. She I don't know your past but before moving to London
00:44:52.700
Maybe you didn't maybe you were just I don't know you're going through life the difficulties of learning
00:45:00.700
You came London and the thing is I get it because some people they don't see as let's just go for it
00:45:05.900
Some people want to better themselves and educate themselves and so that they know how to intellectually grow
00:45:12.300
I just think I can people the people that are successful don't educate themselves. They just do exactly
00:45:35.900
No, I'm saying you had the right people around you
00:45:41.900
But you choose but okay at 18 that's an excuse but at 40 you pick who you surround yourself with
00:45:48.620
I'll give you an example one time I decided I wanted more rich friends
00:45:52.140
I literally was just like my friends are too broke
00:45:56.700
And so you know I lived I lived in Milwaukee at the time and I worked I worked a sales job
00:46:01.420
So I was like you know what I want to just see if I can call some of these numbers
00:46:04.780
And see if any of these executives because I definitely I was trying to sell copy or cinema one to meet with me
00:46:09.260
But I was like I want to see if they'll get coffee with me and just like
00:46:12.780
And see if they can mentor me ask them about their success
00:46:15.340
I got three c-level executives of multi-million dollar companies to literally sit down spend 30 minutes with me just by asking
00:46:22.700
And yes, and then another time another another time another time this is for a youtube video, right?
00:46:28.540
I was just bored one day and you know people will always
00:46:31.100
You know say it's because i'm a girl or because of this or because of that whatever, but
00:46:34.300
Like honestly, I I feel like I could do this with anyone
00:46:39.500
I didn't have a job because I quit my job to be a tick tocker. I know
00:46:43.660
And yeah, I quit I was working in sales and I was doing quite well
00:46:46.380
But I just quit it to do to do tick tock and I moved home with my parents
00:46:50.220
And I was like maybe i'll see if I could find a job in a day
00:46:52.940
So I went to this rich neighborhood, um, and it's by chicago
00:46:55.980
It's like where all the rich people are and I was like, I wonder if I go door-to-door
00:47:00.220
I know and um, I was like, I wonder if I go door-to-door in this neighborhood and just ask people for a job within one day
00:47:09.500
So I didn't end up taking it because I was just trying to do youtube
00:47:14.300
It's all about like you can you have two choices in life. Everything can be an excuse
00:47:20.300
But you have you've made excuses the whole time. I came I came here 13 years ago. I was learning
00:47:28.460
But it is because honestly the people and i'm telling you i'm around these people the people that are really successful
00:47:33.580
They don't talk about that. They just talk about what they're doing
00:47:36.300
They're so excited about this next project this this and this
00:47:41.020
And maybe you are but i'm saying the way you've represented yourself in this conversation is it's always an excuse
00:47:47.820
It's like it's it's it's it's it's describing what it is
00:47:57.180
It's describing outcomes and it's like you've had 13 years comes i had to deal with
00:48:02.620
Everyone's got stuff to deal with what did you have to deal with
00:48:08.380
I i came to this country by myself well alone i didn't know anyone in this country
00:48:13.420
Mm-hmm. So I mean have other people had it harder did you have it harder sure but i'm telling you
00:48:18.700
I know people in worse situations that made more so
00:48:21.740
I don't know. I feel like you're talking from a privileged place. Yes
00:48:34.780
I'm talking from a privileged place and being around these types of people
00:48:38.620
So I can tell you the people that have had good outcomes and I know people that have had good outcomes
00:48:42.220
Outcomes from wait. I know people that have had good outcomes from the bottom
00:48:45.820
I've known people that have had good outcomes from the top and I can tell you the way they talk
00:48:50.300
Isn't the way you talk no because because they're not always talking about the reasons they didn't succeed they're talking about
00:48:55.500
Because of the question you've got to answer questions though
00:48:59.500
You know i mean you've got to i'm answering the questions that you're putting out there you know
00:49:07.740
So i'm responding you know if you ask me now okay what do you do now
00:49:13.900
Nobody's asked me that you only be like oh you're making excuses i'm not i'm evolving
00:49:20.780
The information you gave you offered it was it didn't really have much to do with the question
00:49:28.300
Yeah, I just wanted to add to her point about uh, you don't have
00:49:32.860
Don't have any bills to pay when you're 18 living with your parents
00:49:36.220
But uh everyone has their situations and in fact
00:49:39.740
During the coronavirus I was maybe like 19. I had to basically
00:49:45.180
Pay for the whole family my mom and dad went out of business
00:49:48.460
And I was the only man in the house that was earning money and providing for the house
00:49:52.620
So there is different things that people go through and again, you can't judge on them
00:49:58.860
And i'm not trying to judge you and to your point that you had a hundred pounds in your account
00:50:05.100
When you came here to be fair, you don't really need money to make money
00:50:12.700
We're trying to put the finger on each person and be like, oh you did you did
00:50:17.260
Each person is different. Each person is a different character
00:50:22.860
See what I would say although we're all having conversations and we're sharing experience and stuff about our own lives
00:50:27.660
We feel like we're being vulnerable because we're sharing information
00:50:30.300
Actually, I don't see that anybody here it might feel like people are being personally attacked
00:50:34.460
But it's not and i'm hearing like I can hear that you're feeling a bit maybe getting a bit defensive
00:50:39.260
Because I don't I don't think yeah, I agree words are powerful, but it's also words are down to interpretation
00:50:44.780
So somebody could say to me that i'm making an excuse. I'm not going to be defensive at somebody saying i'm making an excuse
00:50:49.740
That might make me think to myself. Okay, could I have done something more?
00:50:55.020
Could I have done this? Okay, it's all how we how we take it and how we understand it
00:50:59.260
So everyone's circumstances are their own. There's no competition as you said
00:51:03.820
Maybe you felt like pearl was talking from a place of privilege. Somebody else might think that you're talking from a place of privilege
00:51:09.420
You know everyone's circumstances and situations are their own
00:51:12.140
All you have to do is know that you're doing the best that you can do
00:51:15.580
But it's also very important that you need to be realistic
00:51:18.460
I think that I think as soon as we start being honest with ourselves and truthful with ourselves about where we lack
00:51:24.060
Where we could do more where we need to be more disciplined or the changes that we need to make
00:51:31.660
Propel of energy and you will go into the area that you want to go in
00:51:35.580
But I think that people spend a lot of time procrastinating and hesitating and i'm not saying that you're doing that
00:51:40.220
But people do spend a lot of time procrastinating hesitating. They're not in the right circles
00:51:47.580
But they still believe that they're going to achieve the things that they want to achieve. That's okay
00:51:51.980
You can still believe that but I don't think that you I don't think that the word excuse was supposed to be an attack on you
00:52:04.060
But you gotta you gotta you gotta look at the timeline, you know
00:52:11.740
I could have probably done this a bit more I could have done this could have went college earlier
00:52:16.140
But at the end of the day, you don't know the challenges one has to face
00:52:20.620
To make me end up and sit next to you guys today, you know, you know, you know, Pearl, right, you know, no, Pearl
00:52:28.060
You have a wonderful example of somebody that came to a new country that has created a
00:52:35.660
Because now I'm evolving around these significant following significant future. Yeah, but it's like I give you I tell you something and you argue with it
00:52:43.740
No, I have to stand my ground up because I know my heart
00:52:49.740
I've had successful people tell me that before and my reaction is oh shit, you're probably right because they know something you don't
00:53:00.540
You have to be open to it. Yeah, and so it's not an attack
00:53:06.060
I don't feel attacked or anything, but i'm a very strong woman and I will stand my ground and I would like to be heard
00:53:13.340
And i'm going to be heard regardless, you know, I want you to understand not even understand
00:53:18.540
I want you to overstand like the way you did, you know, you know, the type of background i'm coming from
00:53:24.380
If I tell you some horror stories that i've done. Yeah, it will it will
00:53:29.980
I had to change my mentality. I had to deprogram and re-program
00:53:35.820
I I you know, I actually I actually get you basically, you know, I don't know. I don't know if it's not everybody's gonna
00:53:44.460
Okay, I don't know I don't want to share something first, but
00:53:47.340
I get the process and I get how and it's different for different people it's upbringing and
00:53:54.220
How we've also been taught how to deal with certain situations in life if we're not taught
00:53:59.420
Initially just by not sorting out certain situations we go back. So that's where people get some advantage some
00:54:05.660
Where people get disadvantage and it is what it is journeys are journeys simple as you changing your mentality
00:54:12.700
And you're going back to your friends that you used to speak to in 16 18 20
00:54:18.620
And you're telling them the journey who don't even understand it and you think to yourself, you know what?
00:54:30.780
And they understand just being plus size right i'm not even gonna lie in different weight changes
00:54:37.740
So that just goes to show like when I so pre-pandemic I became 28 stones I got ill so I was 28 stones
00:54:45.900
And I'm not gonna lie people were really being mean to me and I'm a person who I'm quite a happy
00:54:52.700
I love speaking to elderly people on the tube and just talking to people and making conversation
00:54:59.820
After pandemic I lost eight stones and people treated me differently and I'm never gonna lie even business way
00:55:06.060
A lot of people come up to me like oh my god, you've got something and we'd like to work with you
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So it just goes to show how sometimes by looks and how you are
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You have to be the change that people will believe
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See I just sometimes you're so you guys are saying things and I feel like they mean nothing
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That's because if you feel the hardship and and if you feel the heart if you've been through the hardship and you've gone through the cycle of
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Actually, okay getting out from this hardship, then you'd you'd understand the feeling
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If you don't understand the feeling and if you haven't gone through the process, it's really hard to understand
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I'm saying it's not about the feeling like if we're talking about success
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If we're talking about business success, it's what what are you doing?
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So I'll give you an example when I first started this, all right, it was just me
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I was in a living room in a small apartment in East London
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And I was running to the gym trying to get people to get the gym to come on my podcast
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But it's like when we talk about oh this feeling revolving mentally, it's like it's like what is
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That's what i'm saying you've come from a privileged place where your mindset has been amazing for you
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You're 39 this is like a conversation with a 16 year old
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And I started changing my mindset say about 27, 28 when I realized that I had to deprogram
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The results is you still can't have a conversation without without getting defensive
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When you're being attacked from people that don't know your life story
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We were talking about being successful in business
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The subject was about profession, like in business
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But the conversation has gone into like a spiritual journey
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But sometimes people actually don't know business
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But feelings get involved when you learn a lesson