JustPearlyThings - Modern Woman Ranting About Her Life.

00:00:00.000 Coming up next.

00:00:00.920 Everything can be an excuse.

00:00:02.940 I haven't made any excuses though.

00:00:04.580 You've made excuses the whole time.

00:00:06.460 I came here 13 years ago.

00:00:08.240 I was learning.

00:00:08.880 I only had $100 in my pocket.

00:00:10.380 How is that an excuse?

00:00:11.480 Is that not evolving?

00:00:12.520 But it is because honestly the people, and I'm telling you, I'm around these people.

00:00:16.340 The people that are really successful, they don't talk about that.

00:00:18.980 They just talk about what they're doing.

00:00:20.320 They're so excited about this next project, this, this, and this.

00:00:23.100 Yeah, I'm really excited about all the projects that I've got going on.

00:00:25.880 And maybe you are, but I'm saying the way you've represented yourself in this conversation,

00:00:30.000 is it's always an excuse.

00:00:31.920 That's what I'm saying.

00:00:32.740 You've come from a privileged place where your mindset has been amazing for you.

00:00:37.380 I had to change my mindset, babe.

00:00:39.540 I had to change it.

00:00:40.300 You're 39.

00:00:41.040 This is like a conversation with a 60-year-old.

00:00:42.740 And I started changing my mindset, say, about 27, 28, when I realized that I had to deprogram.

00:00:48.940 Your new mindset as a teenager.

00:00:53.280 But what are the results?

00:00:55.580 That's my thing.

00:00:56.200 The results is you still can't have a conversation without getting defensive.

00:01:01.560 No, because when you're being attacked from people that don't know your life story or know your current.

00:01:08.240 You're taking it.

00:01:09.680 Not attacking me.

00:01:11.800 We were talking about being successful in business.

00:01:13.260 Give me the right word then.

00:01:14.740 Give me the right word.

00:01:15.820 You're coming across a little bit defensive.

00:01:17.340 Defensive.

00:01:17.940 And the topic was, yeah, the subject was about profession, like in business, being successful in business.

00:01:25.140 You want to be.

00:01:25.760 Yeah.

00:01:26.100 So, but what you, but the conversation has gone into like a spiritual journey.

00:01:30.780 It has to.

00:01:31.900 You're not going to be up there.

00:01:32.480 But that's not business.

00:01:33.600 That's totally separate.

00:01:34.500 Logic and emotion are completely different.

00:01:37.120 Before I started this show, I really thought healing meant something else.

00:01:42.340 I really thought when women like healed, they went to therapy. 1.00

00:01:44.920 But I just found healing is like another word for just sleeping around.

00:01:48.900 It's like you sleep around the town.

00:01:50.060 I feel like healing is so normal.

00:01:51.800 Healing is so normal.

00:01:53.000 And then you come back.

00:01:55.440 You come back.

00:01:56.780 You come back in now.

00:01:58.240 And then they write in their journals.

00:01:59.940 No, that's not good.

00:02:00.600 And they do some meditating.

00:02:02.460 I feel like healing is so good.

00:02:03.740 Wait, guys, guys, guys, stop.

00:02:05.200 Stop interrupting me.

00:02:06.040 Stop.

00:02:06.520 Stop.

00:02:06.780 They do some meditating.

00:02:08.200 And now they're healed.

00:02:11.120 No.

00:02:11.420 Yes.

00:02:11.720 No, I don't think healing works like that.

00:02:13.100 But I think healing works with actually self-reflecting, challenging yourself and think, okay, how can I, how can, okay, I've done this.

00:02:21.460 This wasn't very nice.

00:02:22.660 And you self-reflect and you figure out how you're going to heal, how you're going to get through it, how you're going to treat a situation differently next time.

00:02:30.000 I do agree with you.

00:02:30.800 There's learning from experience, right?

00:02:33.340 But it's like, how many times you got to have the same experience before you learn?

00:02:37.780 You know what I mean?

00:02:38.180 It's like, that one, two, three, 20, 30, 40.

00:02:41.960 By what I've seen, I don't know why, but always stranger girls come and talk to me and they tell me their whole lives.

00:02:49.780 And what I find sad is, and that's why I say, like, it's so important for us as humans to be understanding because some people mentally, they're not built like that.

00:03:00.380 I think that we should be less understanding.

00:03:03.200 Yes.

00:03:03.860 No, I think, I think, I think, okay, I think it's good to be understanding when it comes to mental health.

00:03:09.580 But if it's too much, no, I feel like.

00:03:12.380 I think that, okay, nowadays, everybody's got a mental health.

00:03:16.940 Everybody.

00:03:18.020 Everyone's got anxiety.

00:03:19.940 Everyone's got, I remember, I remember when, oh, you know what my least favorite word is now?

00:03:24.940 Trauma.

00:03:25.920 Trauma.

00:03:26.720 Trauma used to be about war, not your ex-boyfriend cheating on you.

00:03:30.380 Three times. 1.00

00:03:31.080 That's not trauma, that's you being a dickhead. 0.98

00:03:32.920 That's what I say too, but now, now, this is my trauma. 0.98

00:03:36.440 I've gone through trauma because my ex-boyfriend, no, it's supposed to be war. 1.00

00:03:39.760 Because you took me back three times, so you're a dickhead. 0.99

00:03:41.660 Yeah, but I don't think, I don't think it's the cheating. 0.97

00:03:43.960 I mean, are you saying most cases when people talk about relationship trauma, they're only talking specifically about the cheating?

00:03:52.600 No, they're just waffling on the money.

00:03:53.900 Or are they talking about giving, continuously giving men a chance.

00:04:00.060 This is the, giving, giving, no pause, no pause.

00:04:05.180 Giving, giving, giving, giving, giving, giving, but this is, this is, no, no, when you say, when you say, when you say giving, when you say giving, okay, one man up.

00:04:15.040 What about woman up? 0.52

00:04:16.400 It's like, it's always, it's always the man needs to be better.

00:04:19.540 It's always the man needs to be better.

00:04:21.520 It's like, it's like, okay.

00:04:23.420 When you have trauma and it's not even from relationships.

00:04:26.400 Who's more, who's, who's more traditional?

00:04:28.540 It's the childhood trauma.

00:04:29.600 Men make more than women at large for a lifetime.

00:04:32.600 Men make more than women. 0.99

00:04:33.820 Women weigh more than men and they have higher body counts than men. 0.96

00:04:37.920 So, so who needs the man up or woman up more? 1.00

00:04:40.580 So women in general have higher body counts than men? 0.99

00:04:42.360 Yes.

00:04:43.120 Wow.

00:04:43.520 Hold on.

00:04:44.400 Say that again. 0.71

00:04:45.020 No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

00:04:46.900 Women's got more than men. 1.00

00:04:48.800 Okay, I'll ask you.

00:04:50.140 I'm hearing clearly.

00:04:52.040 I'll ask you.

00:04:52.840 I'll ask you.

00:04:53.260 I'll stand the room today.

00:04:54.340 Sorry, sorry, guys, guys, guys.

00:04:56.460 One person at a time here.

00:04:57.720 There's a lot of over-talking support costs at the end of the day.

00:05:00.280 So one person at a time.

00:05:01.600 Let the moderator pick the person who's talking.

00:05:03.320 Thank you.

00:05:04.240 One out of three men are either virgins or haven't had sex in the past year.

00:05:07.200 Have one out of three women, are they virgins or haven't had sex in the past year? 0.86

00:05:11.760 I couldn't.

00:05:12.780 It's a bit both.

00:05:14.280 Come on.

00:05:14.940 I think the world is going. 0.51

00:05:16.160 I think you're not choosing to stop having, like, intercourse now.

00:05:19.360 Can you please repeat the question?

00:05:20.580 I need to just say this.

00:05:21.980 Like, you've heard stories where men have gloated about, oh, I've slated with 250 women. 0.86

00:05:27.980 You would never hear a woman say that unless she's from OnlyFans. 0.99

00:05:31.100 You know what I mean?

00:05:31.880 Yeah.

00:05:32.340 Not really.

00:05:33.120 Not even.

00:05:33.660 No, I'm sorry.

00:05:34.420 I've just never experienced that conversation from a woman.

00:05:38.360 Yeah, because women aren't going to brag about that stuff. 1.00

00:05:40.780 No, they won't. 0.85

00:05:41.500 But it goes back to a small percentage of men are having a lot of sex.

00:05:45.500 That's what he was saying earlier. 1.00

00:05:47.060 So a small percentage of men, they're the biggest whore. 1.00

00:05:49.460 You know, they're man whores, right? 1.00

00:05:51.180 Right. 1.00

00:05:51.680 And so you're right.

00:05:52.800 There are a small percentage of men that are having more sex than women. 0.80

00:05:56.020 But by and large, women are having more sex than men.

00:05:58.820 I don't know.

00:05:59.300 I don't think that's true.

00:06:00.080 That's scary.

00:06:00.920 I'm scared.

00:06:01.760 I mean, I don't even know what's true.

00:06:03.740 No, but it's the contraceptive pill that I'm telling you.

00:06:06.100 It's all them products.

00:06:07.760 I don't agree with her.

00:06:08.980 You know why?

00:06:09.520 Because what she's saying, I think, is that the chances of a woman to get more men and hide in it 1.00

00:06:14.860 is measured than a man getting a woman.

00:06:17.680 Can I say something, please?

00:06:19.640 Go on.

00:06:20.000 Sorry.

00:06:20.320 Carry on.

00:06:21.200 I'll say it after.

00:06:22.420 I'll say it after.

00:06:22.980 No, go on.

00:06:23.780 Think about it.

00:06:24.440 Every woman here, yeah? 0.99

00:06:25.580 Yeah.

00:06:26.020 Think about your DMs.

00:06:27.580 Yeah.

00:06:28.040 Think about it.

00:06:28.800 Now, think about your DMs, yeah?

00:06:30.140 Yeah.

00:06:30.380 Now, think about it.

00:06:31.240 I want to.

00:06:32.100 If you really wanted to, you could have at least, well, good-looking women anyway. 1.00

00:06:36.600 Not saying, no, do you know what I mean?

00:06:38.300 You could have at least three men.

00:06:39.220 Actually, I'd like to, can I correct just one thing?

00:06:41.340 One thing I'm going to correct, then you can finish.

00:06:43.220 An average woman gets more matches on dating apps than a top 1% guy. 1.00

00:06:47.840 This is what I was just about to say.

00:06:49.060 If you look at your DMs, you know for a fact, if you just rang someone or just said, yeah,

00:06:54.220 come true, how many geezers could you have? 0.92

00:06:57.800 As many as you wanted.

00:06:58.960 Exactly.

00:06:59.780 That's what I'm saying. 0.94

00:07:00.340 And so, realistically, women probably do have the more sex that we could do if we wanted to. 1.00

00:07:05.400 Yeah, but you don't know.

00:07:06.540 Yeah, but what she's trying to say is that you don't actually know how many women they say it out loud. 1.00

00:07:12.060 That's true.

00:07:12.600 That's what I'm saying.

00:07:13.720 But, no, I'm just agreeing with what she said because it's the truth.

00:07:15.940 Because, realistically, it's the women. 1.00

00:07:19.620 It is literally when you think about your DMs because it's a crazy place. 0.53

00:07:24.980 It's a crazy place.

00:07:26.480 Rihanna.

00:07:27.040 No one looks at their DMs.

00:07:28.320 But it's also if you walked into a bar and you just stood in the bar and you said, 1.00

00:07:33.120 I will fuck every geezer here. 1.00

00:07:35.640 Imagine how many would do it. 1.00

00:07:37.080 Imagine how many men would do it. 0.98

00:07:38.720 They've done that on YouTube before.

00:07:40.800 What?

00:07:40.980 So, yeah, so they have, like, a girl go up to guys and a guy go up to girls.

00:07:45.020 And it's, like, over half the guys are, like, okay.

00:07:48.440 Because she was a cute girl and they had a hot guy go up to girls. 1.00

00:07:50.900 And it was, like, 99% of them said no.

00:07:52.640 Yeah, exactly.

00:07:54.600 That was my point.

00:07:56.320 I disagree.

00:07:56.600 Doesn't that show the statistics of women trying to just keep themselves to themselves? 1.00

00:08:03.460 Like, because, okay, all women would be, like, oh, they don't want extra body counts. 1.00

00:08:08.200 No, I think it shows what's easier to get. 0.97

00:08:11.740 Like, it's easier for women to get sex than men. 0.99

00:08:14.340 So, it's, like, a man has to have something for you to be interested in him. 0.95

00:08:18.320 Like, you're a pretty girl.

00:08:19.800 So, it's, like, you're going to want him to have a good job, right?

00:08:22.140 Definitely.

00:08:22.700 You want him to be taller than you.

00:08:23.880 I've been very spoiled in relationships.

00:08:26.040 So, I'm a picky person now.

00:08:27.760 So, you are picky.

00:08:29.520 Very picky.

00:08:30.080 Yeah, okay.

00:08:30.620 So, you are.

00:08:33.520 It's terrible.

00:08:34.040 You want him to be taller than you, right?

00:08:35.880 Oh, yeah, six foot.

00:08:37.080 Okay, okay, okay.

00:08:38.540 What percent of men are over six foot?

00:08:40.280 Not many.

00:08:41.040 Minimal.

00:08:41.600 It's 15%.

00:08:43.120 Wow.

00:08:43.480 So, then, let's say, let's say.

00:08:45.120 Wow.

00:08:45.660 Yeah, so, let's say.

00:08:46.900 For real.

00:08:48.080 Now, what percent of, wait, wait.

00:08:49.680 What percent of men do you find attractive, usually, would you say?

00:08:52.320 I like men that are taller than me.

00:08:54.220 I like to look up to my men.

00:08:55.500 How tall are you?

00:08:55.760 So, out of 10 men, maybe you'll find.

00:08:58.200 So, if you're, like, the stats, you'll find two attractive.

00:09:00.760 So, out of the 15%, you're going to find two out of the 10 that are over six foot attractive.

00:09:05.820 That's probably, yeah.

00:09:06.620 And let's say one of them is in your income category that you look for and one isn't.

00:09:11.280 So, you're looking for 1% of men.

00:09:13.020 And most women, most women are looking, most women, most women are looking for 1% and you 0.82

00:09:19.740 want them to have no kids.

00:09:20.980 Right.

00:09:21.480 I want to be the first.

00:09:22.940 I want to be his first.

00:09:23.660 Right, right.

00:09:24.360 And I want to be a millionaire.

00:09:27.560 Don't we all?

00:09:28.280 You just might be soon.

00:09:30.580 Yeah, I just don't know.

00:09:31.500 It's all a possibility.

00:09:34.180 That's what I'm saying.

00:09:34.940 It's all a possibility.

00:09:36.160 Like I said, I did use to date a very rich guy.

00:09:39.000 And he made me become very high.

00:09:41.720 When we stopped dating, I was like, oh my God, how am I going to get to get this level?

00:09:49.220 How am I going to respect another guy?

00:09:51.600 Statistically, statistically, you probably won't replace him.

00:09:54.980 Statistically, you probably won't be.

00:09:56.320 You know what, girl?

00:09:56.740 Because he was rich.

00:09:57.640 I'm just saying.

00:09:58.200 My DMs be popping.

00:09:59.320 Yeah, yeah.

00:10:00.520 Yeah, yeah.

00:10:02.800 But your DMs might be popping, but engagements count.

00:10:06.600 That's what counts.

00:10:08.080 Engagements.

00:10:08.480 Listen, I get more DMs.

00:10:10.520 I get more DMs.

00:10:11.620 It's not a level.

00:10:12.680 Oh, yeah, okay.

00:10:13.500 I get more DMs.

00:10:15.640 Okay, okay.

00:10:16.820 I've had crazy messages, but you know, come on.

00:10:20.820 It's a DM.

00:10:21.640 They don't count.

00:10:22.440 No, no, no.

00:10:22.920 It don't count.

00:10:23.760 But obviously, out of those DMs, one of them was the one.

00:10:27.600 I mean, but that's my point.

00:10:31.600 That's what every girl thinks.

00:10:33.380 Every girl's walking through life thinking they're going to win the lottery and date this top 1%

00:10:37.180 that men, he has to be over 6 foot, he has to make over 70K, he has to be attractive,

00:10:41.680 he has to be attractive.

00:10:42.360 If you believe, you can achieve.

00:10:43.560 But see, this is, but this is, here, here, here, wait.

00:10:46.340 This is the problem.

00:10:47.200 That sounds nice.

00:10:48.540 It sounds nice.

00:10:49.700 And like, and it's possible, but it's not probable.

00:10:52.200 It's probably not going to happen.

00:10:53.320 Not for every woman.

00:10:54.080 So I'll tell you, I'll tell you another stat.

00:10:55.640 Okay, so big banks are investing in things like cat food, wine, because 50% of women are projected 0.99

00:11:01.660 to be single and childless over 30.

00:11:03.420 So that means all the girls in this room, half of us will never have kids.

00:11:06.660 Half of us will never get married.

00:11:09.020 So if you say, oh, just manifest it, believe, it sounds nice.

00:11:12.320 And it's also like, if you don't get married by 35, your odds of getting married and having

00:11:15.540 a long, stable relationship ever, it's very, it's very low.

00:11:19.060 It's very low.

00:11:19.760 I actually.

00:11:20.400 For a lot of women, yeah. 1.00

00:11:21.720 I don't put myself.

00:11:26.000 I'm 39, leave me alone.

00:11:27.820 I don't put myself in that category.

00:11:30.180 I really don't.

00:11:30.980 I really don't.

00:11:31.780 Actually, I'm going to.

00:11:32.960 Could I ask a question?

00:11:34.780 I want to read.

00:11:37.860 When a single woman reaches the age of 30, the statistical probability of her successfully 1.00

00:11:43.180 finding a long-term relationship and having just one child falls below 50%, it then declines

00:11:49.320 rapidly by 3.5% to 5% each year.

00:11:52.620 This is based on the average fertility rates in developed countries, of course, but it's

00:11:56.400 also based on the average amount of time.

00:11:57.860 It would take a single 30-year-old woman to find a good mate and progress the relationship 1.00

00:12:01.240 to the point of pregnancy.

00:12:03.640 A little messed up is what you consider the average age of first child is 29 for women. 1.00

00:12:08.220 It varies, very slightly by country.

00:12:10.740 And most women start taking the idea of a family seriously in their late 20s and 30s.

00:12:17.400 And let's talk about IVF, too.

00:12:19.840 61, the failure rates of IVF is 61.1% in women under 34.

00:12:26.240 So out of 100 women that go and get IVF, 61% fail. 0.73

00:12:31.140 And women that are between the ages of 35 to 38, it's 73.7%.

00:12:35.220 86.2% in women ages 39 to 42.

00:12:38.600 And 94% in women over the ages of 43.

00:12:41.620 That's the IVF failure rate.

00:12:43.380 Wow.

00:12:43.660 Isn't it now that there's more female binge drinkers than male for the first time ever? 1.00

00:12:47.380 Yeah.

00:12:47.700 That's true.

00:12:48.220 That's crazy.

00:12:49.320 Yeah.

00:12:49.780 Wait, could you repeat that?

00:12:51.080 That's crazy.

00:12:51.760 Which part?

00:12:52.420 There's more female, yeah, there's more, you can go ahead. 0.99

00:12:55.560 Yeah, it was like, it was something that came out earlier this year that there are now more female binge drinkers than males. 0.97

00:13:02.640 And it's the first time in history this has happened.

00:13:04.760 Wow.

00:13:05.340 That's crazy.

00:13:06.840 I'm really getting educated.

00:13:07.820 I think the men are smoking more green.

00:13:11.400 So, they're smoking more.

00:13:14.180 So men smoke more and women drink more. 0.98

00:13:16.300 Yeah, but that's the first time in history that women are drinking more. 1.00

00:13:18.860 But why is that?

00:13:19.840 It's evolving because we're an evolving race.

00:13:23.100 Because women are becoming men. 1.00

00:13:25.160 But I've heard that men are becoming women.

00:13:28.760 Yeah.

00:13:29.980 That's what's going on.

00:13:31.000 I'm going to read one more thing to you guys.

00:13:32.720 According to the average span of committed relationships, of committed dating relationships,

00:13:37.280 the average, and the average interval of time women take between relationships,

00:13:43.480 an average woman has a maximum of, guess how many serious relationships? 1.00

00:13:47.040 Three.

00:13:47.660 How many?

00:13:48.320 Four.

00:13:49.140 Three.

00:13:49.340 Close.

00:13:49.880 Five.

00:13:50.460 Five.

00:13:50.840 Five.

00:13:50.960 Yeah.

00:13:51.840 I think a woman cannot need. 1.00

00:13:53.620 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, guys, guys, wait, let me finish.

00:13:58.080 A maximum of five serious relationships, five swings at a bat,

00:14:01.540 before her chance of starting a family drops to zero.

00:14:04.340 So that means if you've had five boyfriends, your chance of a family has dropped to zero.

00:14:08.360 Wait, wait, wait, please.

00:14:09.820 Can you explain that again?

00:14:11.200 Guys, what is it?

00:14:11.960 Isn't it a taste in the mouth?

00:14:13.420 According to the average span of committed dating relationships,

00:14:17.240 and the average interval of time women take between relationships,

00:14:21.500 the average woman has a maximum of five serious relationships,

00:14:24.940 five swings at the bat, before her chances of starting a family drops to zero.

00:14:30.520 Uh-oh.

00:14:31.140 They need to change locations.

00:14:32.760 Of course they do.

00:14:33.580 But this is, but see, but see, this is like, and that sounds, that sounds depressing.

00:14:40.060 It's according to numbers.

00:14:41.660 Like, so they, they, but how many people?

00:14:43.920 Wait, what if they, what if the new generation,

00:14:46.280 what if these people are just willing to love easily?

00:14:49.760 More easily than the previous ones?

00:14:52.340 But this is, but this is like,

00:14:52.900 we always do a roundabout way to make the numbers not sound like what they are.

00:14:56.420 Yeah, but numbers were only numbers when people started creating numbers.

00:15:00.780 Okay.

00:15:01.020 Numbers weren't there before.

00:15:02.060 Numbers, wait, numbers were only numbers when people started creating numbers.

00:15:06.260 Like, like, listen to that.

00:15:08.740 Yeah, how did you count a rock?

00:15:11.080 Like, how did you count how many rocks before they were even?

00:15:13.280 Okay, this is, this doesn't make any sense.

00:15:15.020 I'm just saying, what really makes sense nowadays, the stats, like, who are these people that put out these reports?

00:15:21.980 They do, they do, they do, they do, they do surveys, they do surveys, it's self-reported in different countries around the world,

00:15:27.760 and they all have similar numbers.

00:15:29.240 So, so they, they start to have a similar conclusion and a similar trend.

00:15:32.940 So, when we, when we tell women, oh, it's going to be okay, it's like, my DMs are full, this, this, this.

00:15:37.980 For a lot of women, for a lot of women, it's not going to be okay.

00:15:40.820 And out of women that don't have kids, 80% of them wish they had them. 0.87

00:15:45.080 A hundred percent.

00:15:45.600 No, it's going to be okay, record this, though, at the end of the day, that's what I'm saying, sometimes these conversations could also go to the other side of the spectrum.

00:15:54.640 Wait, explain that.

00:15:55.680 So, what do you mean?

00:15:56.360 I think that these sort of conversations we have, they can sometimes be very strategic and stats have stated and these people, yeah, but there's a whole group, community of people who don't do surveys and just love their life and love people and talk to people and are real and they don't give their reports back.

00:16:14.400 Okay, okay, so, okay, okay, so, some, some, some, some people, you're right, some people don't take surveys, but if we're doing surveys in different places and they're all concluding the same thing, it's like, if you don't want to believe numbers, you don't have to.

00:16:29.580 You can just live in the, in the land of feelings, but, but, it's,

00:16:33.100 it's quite hard to do that when you're living in the land of logic, like, should we, should we do an episode that's just like statistics and just teaching people statistics, we can say you're, you're, what you're talking about is self-selection bias, but once you get over about 1400 people, you kind of have a pretty standard distribution, which is statistically significant.

00:16:56.100 these numbers are pretty damn tight, so, we'll do one episode pro for white school statistics, what do you think?

00:17:00.500 Yeah, we can do.

00:17:01.500 I would love, I would love to teach that for us.

00:17:02.520 Actually, to be honest with you, to be honest with you, Demetrius, I feel like, Demetrius, sorry, my apologies, Demetrius, as you said, Demetrius, not Demetrius, the one that was going to take his suit before he got you.

00:17:17.640 Oh.

00:17:18.640 Ha ha, that's what he said the whole way, we stopped him.

00:17:19.120 That's what he said the whole way.

00:17:19.620 That's what he said.

00:17:20.200 We stopped him.

00:17:21.200 Off camera.

00:17:22.200 Yeah, we got him.

00:17:23.200 We got him.

00:17:24.200 Basically, what I'm saying is that, yes, you know, not all of us were taught to be wives.

00:17:30.720 Yeah.

00:17:31.720 Right.

00:17:32.720 And maybe that's because our mothers saw what happened to wives. 1.00

00:17:35.280 Bruv, not all of us were taught to suck- whoa. 0.99

00:17:36.140 Stop. 1.00

00:17:37.140 Wait, wait, wait, wait, no, no, no, no, no.

00:17:39.140 That's a last question.

00:17:41.140 Okay.

00:17:42.140 Can I ask you a question?

00:17:43.140 Wait, um, did you hear what I said first?

00:17:45.200 Yeah.

00:17:46.200 So, say that again.

00:17:47.640 Yes, so just just the one part just the part about you. They were not taught what let me not get him. Okay, you're right

00:17:53.700 What I'm saying is that don't worry girl

00:17:56.280 Woman that raised certain woman in this world. Mm-hmm. They never taught their children or their daughters 1.00

00:18:01.840 Obviously, that's true wives because they had experienced what happens to wives and they were like 1.00

00:18:07.800 I'm not gonna be a wife because that means I have to stand up with a guy and that's due to 0.99

00:18:13.200 Relationship, but what what outcomes are better?

00:18:16.120 No, but but this is but this is this is the thing like single single single single child single childless women are not happy by and large 1.00

00:18:24.980 They're not over over that. I don't think life is about only happiness. I mean, what okay?

00:18:30.080 What do you want your life to look like? Okay? No, no, listen listen two seconds. Just listen

00:18:34.440 What do you want your life to look like at 60 65?

00:18:37.980 What do you want Christmas to look like your fan your family? I just want okay look whole. Okay. Okay. Not listen

00:18:44.340 Listen, okay, what what do you do you want to spend it alone at 65?

00:18:50.080 Your parents are probably passed away then on 70 65 for myself?

00:18:53.760 Definitely not okay for me personally. All right

00:18:57.200 So what are you arguing about here? I'm arguing that

00:19:01.580 Community and having family and being a single woman doesn't come with a lonely life

00:19:07.200 The stats disagree no women that women that don't have children are on antidepressants and they drink more disagree. That's okay 1.00

00:19:16.020 Mm-hmm. That's okay because so then what do you what are you are probably on?

00:19:20.940 Antidepressants and they on they drink tap water and they do

00:19:24.940 Certain things that sound like they're wrong. It's not funny. No, no, and then you know, they're they're just okay

00:19:29.900 Are the are this are the single childless women that you know typically happy are they happy? 0.98

00:19:34.620 They're in that position typically like majority of the time. Okay, they're they're all happy. Yes

00:19:40.300 And if they and if they had to pick they would rather be by themselves then with a man they respect love and admire

00:19:45.820 Yeah, they would prefer that no no pick one. What would they prefer typically pick but how could I pick one?

00:19:51.260 So that's not an option

00:19:53.260 What if what's I'm giving you two options?

00:19:55.360 They'd rather be alone or with a man that they love respect and admire, which one would they pick the rough

00:20:05.100 But this is like a need to be right

00:20:17.100 According to the stats

00:20:19.100 You're right and I'm wrong

00:20:21.260 But according to my world and my people

00:20:25.740 We're good

00:20:26.220 Yeah, we're good on the side

00:20:28.060 But it's true what you said not a lot of women have taught their um girls to be wives because they haven't come from that background 1.00

00:20:34.940 No, but no no no let me rephrase that

00:20:36.940 No, they've been through it because

00:20:40.220 But why is that your answer? It's a painful reality

00:20:43.420 Why because when I talk when I'm saying the woman that were not raised to be wives 0.98

00:20:48.220 Mm-hmm

00:20:49.020 It's because their mothers had experienced something else

00:20:52.300 Well, I feel like

00:20:53.180 It's just children

00:20:53.740 Sorry

00:20:53.980 And that might be the majority

00:20:56.140 That's why there's so many women who aren't wives who have to go to wife school 1.00

00:21:01.100 I think she means that it's a knock-on effect

00:21:03.340 To say someone's great-grandma went through some sort of trauma

00:21:07.020 As you mentioned earlier they're gonna pass it down to their daughter

00:21:10.700 Yeah

00:21:11.180 They ain't gonna teach them how to then it goes down to it

00:21:13.340 It's a knock-on effect what they're saying is generational

00:21:19.660 But the difference is people used to go through trauma together

00:21:23.180 Yeah

00:21:23.580 Like I mean, I know a couple I know a couple that had that they they lost a child

00:21:28.220 And that's real trauma

00:21:30.300 They lost a child and they they they stuck it out and they figured out a way to make it work

00:21:33.900 And they ended up having more kids, but that ruins most relationships

00:21:36.620 That's real trauma

00:21:37.740 Nowadays women's trauma is just not being happy having to listen to their husband 0.99

00:21:42.220 Do you feel like

00:21:43.340 Let me ask you this Pearl

00:21:44.300 Do you feel like in this generation now a lot of women are so quick to throw in the towel? 1.00

00:21:50.220 Is that what you feel like?

00:21:51.260 Yes

00:21:51.500 Yeah

00:21:52.060 Yeah, and I agree

00:21:52.700 I agree

00:21:53.500 But that's men and women

00:21:54.700 I feel like it's even in men

00:21:55.420 No, I don't

00:21:59.820 I'm doing a documentary on the court system in the uk

00:22:03.260 And I I can tell you firsthand men are not the first to throw in the towel

00:22:06.700 They're not

00:22:07.420 They're not

00:22:07.660 I've heard this multiple times

00:22:09.180 There's a guy

00:22:10.140 There's a guy

00:22:10.780 So it might be for the kids, but that the men are more selfless than the women because they care about the kids

00:22:16.300 They'll stick it out for the kids

00:22:18.300 There is a man

00:22:19.340 I just interviewed a guy

00:22:22.940 I am talking about marriage

00:22:24.220 She was married

00:22:25.420 He has three daughters

00:22:27.900 And he was married to a narcissist

00:22:30.700 And he said that he would have stuck it out

00:22:34.940 But she wouldn't

00:22:35.980 Wow

00:22:36.860 So then one day he gets a call

00:22:38.700 He can't go home

00:22:39.740 She got a restraining order against him

00:22:41.900 She accused him of abuse

00:22:43.900 And now he can't see his children

00:22:45.500 Three daughters

00:22:46.780 And he hasn't even gotten to fight in court

00:22:49.180 In the last year

00:22:51.340 And all he wants is just to see his kids

00:22:53.180 To bring his family together

00:22:55.500 And this woman had had no real reason 1.00

00:22:57.900 And i'm telling you i'm doing a documentary on this

00:22:59.900 It's like the same story over and over again

00:23:02.220 Because here the courts think about if you're if you're in a contract right

00:23:05.660 And person a gets everything by leaving they get the house they get the kids they get everything and person b

00:23:10.700 They lose everything person b is always trying to please person a because they have more to lose

00:23:17.660 So it changes the way we interact in relationships in my opinion

00:23:21.020 Where that's why we always have like women wearing the pants especially in the west 1.00

00:23:24.460 Because the men are always trying to appease the women 1.00

00:23:26.940 Because they lose everything if they leave

00:23:29.020 So yeah, I do I do think women today throw in the towel and partially it's because they're paid to 1.00

00:23:33.020 April i've had clients cry to me i've had like in law offices the partners i've had them cry to me over the years

00:23:41.420 Because of the divorce they're going through and not being able to see their kids

00:23:46.380 And it's and it's like and we know statistically it's 80 of women that leave the relationships 0.99

00:23:50.860 I've had grown ass men cry to me about it

00:23:53.980 Like i've had that relation where they're like dude and they just fall 0.97

00:23:56.620 Yeah, I know many men i know i've met many men who are actually depressed and that's how they go into depression because they've lost their kids

00:24:05.900 And the mother is usually being sparked for just not letting them see their kid not giving them the right

00:24:10.540 And can i say something though um i don't want to justify the thing that um

00:24:15.420 Women sometimes they can be evil and uh take their kids and use them against their husbands 1.00

00:24:20.540 But you have to check how many marriage are made where the woman she does everything she goes to work 0.99

00:24:26.460 She takes care of kids. She does everything and the man just goes to work and goes home and chills

00:24:31.340 Like you don't really know the reason why people divorce and like i believe there's so many marriages nowadays

00:24:36.460 Well, why did she have a kid with a guy that just sits at the couch all day? 1.00

00:24:40.460 I mean, why did she pick him not because the most of the men they say that like men in business or whatever

00:24:46.940 Men by and large make more than women. Sorry men by and large make more than women. Yeah, I know 0.86

00:24:52.220 But because they make more than women they they feel that they are able to like just go home and chill or watch the tv 1.00

00:24:58.540 Or go with their friends to drink a beer while the woman she goes to work 1.00

00:25:02.620 She looks after the kids. She takes care of the house. She pays the bill. She does she does everything basically 0.90

00:25:08.700 Please okay, this is literally we talked about this today with kareel. So this is really interesting and again, this is going to be super offensive

00:25:15.660 So let's go viral

00:25:17.660 First thing okay, like

00:25:24.140 Messy the football soccer football player his wife isn't leaving him because he doesn't do the dishes

00:25:29.500 When the wife's like I left him because he didn't do the chores. It's like 0.85

00:25:33.020 That lebron is lebron's wife leaving him because he doesn't do the dishes. That's a bullshit reason. That's not true 1.00

00:25:37.500 Let me tell you what is true. Okay clean is the answer is he's not if if a wife is like i'm leaving because my husband doesn't do chores

00:25:44.060 It's because he's not making enough money. That's the reason now and and the stack

00:25:48.220 I'll make it very simple. I hate this. I told you it's gonna be here. It's true. So so I

00:25:52.860 That makes sense. Listen up. I come I come home if you do the logic. I come home and i'm like

00:25:57.020 I just work like a 14 hour day. I'm super tired. You know, I

00:26:01.100 Whatever pull my portion next to my wife's g-wagon that I got her. She's very cool. Everything's great

00:26:05.980 And i'm freaking tired and I can see my wife which we got four kids. She's working really hard around the house 1.00

00:26:11.820 And i'm like, honey, listen, um, let me just get a maid to come in and clean the house 0.68

00:26:17.020 And my wife's like, no, no, I I want to do this myself

00:26:20.060 And i'm like, look, I know i'm not gonna do it

00:26:21.660 I'll tell you i'm not gonna I just worked 14 hours

00:26:23.100 I'm gonna touch a dish in my life and I told her if i'm single

00:26:25.180 I have a full-time live-in maid and my like i'll literally get a nanny for myself if i'm single and she will just do everything 1.00

00:26:30.780 So finally I convinced my wife

00:26:33.100 To get a lady to come in and help around the house 1.00

00:26:35.100 So in comes like this hot 23 year old ukrainian girl that's now living in estonia as a refugee and she's in there wiping the 1.00

00:26:42.380 Everything I see my wife do the side. She never showed up again 1.00

00:26:46.540 She never shows gentlemen 0.96

00:26:47.740 What i'm saying is gentlemen, this is going to be offensive listen up if you have a if you are don't want to do dishes 0.99

00:26:56.060 And you are successful enough to hire a maid hire a hot maid and i promise your wife will do the damn dishes 1.00

00:27:05.100 I want to give you guys a stat wait no wait um surprisingly studies showed that the divorce rate among couples who share 0.95

00:27:10.700 Um chores equally was 50 percent higher than among those where the wife does the majority of the work 0.98

00:27:17.500 It's a financial yeah, I know

00:27:18.940 But i'm not saying i'm not saying because the men like because the man doesn't do because obviously the woman for nature

00:27:25.420 Like even like in all the religion right the woman is the one that she looks after the kids after the house and everything 1.00

00:27:31.340 But like at the same time if a man can make like that type of amount of money that he can come home and show

00:27:37.980 Then why her wife she should go to work and be like oh 1.00

00:27:41.580 I have to take care of everything like if she if her wife can decide to be at home and be like 1.00

00:27:46.060 Oh, I don't want to have like a really do you think that successful men want their wives to work? 0.99

00:27:50.140 Does your does your wife?

00:27:52.140 No, I told her when I married her

00:27:53.820 I said I want my mom worked my mom out on my dad 1.00

00:27:56.380 So my parents got divorced and it was and I saw it as a kid. I wasn't a dumb kid 0.60

00:27:59.900 I'm like I know why it's happening because my mom started out earning my dad

00:28:03.020 I told my wife i'm like look when we get married. I want my wife to be a stay-at-home mom 0.99

00:28:07.420 I was very open about it why because I want my kids seven experience

00:28:10.620 I didn't have and I want to work my ass off to provide my kids that experience

00:28:14.380 Okay, can I just put that in there the last guy?

00:28:17.100 I was hit with even though he wanted me to have this and I have that he wanted me to do all of that

00:28:21.980 He did not want me to stay at home and raise kids

00:28:25.260 He wanted me to go to work and I'll fall well listen if you're the breadwinner and you're the alpha

00:28:30.700 Why would you want to put so much pressure on the woman? 0.91

00:28:33.420 He ain't no alpha girl, he ain't no alpha

00:28:38.220 One thing guys, so this is a topic that's come up here and I

00:28:42.700 So you're like look let's imagine we group men into two groups, okay?

00:28:46.700 Some men are slimy and and they just have you know bad character and they and they mistreat you

00:28:52.620 And maybe you know some of us were unfortunate enough to grow up with with a father like that

00:28:56.860 I just want to give a shout out to my dad by the way who never made a lot of money in his life

00:29:00.780 He's still a mechanic to this day. He's in his 60s

00:29:03.180 He's never gonna retire but man did he give me a good example of a man who suffers in dignity 0.98

00:29:07.580 My god, he just he suffers in dignity and I know he fucking hates it pardon my french 0.65

00:29:12.140 But he suffered in dignity for me because you know, he had a son me 0.99

00:29:16.700 So we can group the men into these two categories the slime balls 0.85

00:29:19.500 And then we have guys that like genuinely want an optimal outcome for their family pearl

00:29:23.340 I think your dad sounds like he might be that kind of guy

00:29:25.260 Are there any other by the way folks here with a guy with a dad like that?

00:29:29.020 Oh my goodness. So about 50% you can see 50% okay

00:29:32.620 So and this is a painful question to ask

00:29:35.500 But I would ask this question because if i'm coaching a young man or woman in our company

00:29:39.500 And they're continuously getting a negative outcome. I would ask well if 50 of the guys are the good guys

00:29:45.180 Why aren't they picking you?

00:29:47.180 Like why are you being picked by these guys that are problematic guys because that's the experience you're describing?

00:29:51.660 What about the good guys exist and they're picking somebody we exist maybe

00:29:55.580 Why are they picking you?

00:29:56.700 Maybe them sly balls know who to pre on and they just see it 1.00

00:30:00.460 So why are you why are you such a juicy target for that and why you know why?

00:30:05.020 Why are you going for it?

00:30:06.300 Well, guys

00:30:08.300 Because of my

00:30:10.300 Wait, wait, wait, this is my issue. It's like, okay once i'll give you one

00:30:14.700 All right, but it's like girls will pick two three four like at some point. It's a pattern 0.92

00:30:18.460 Because men can be very deceiving in the beginning. They can be lovely. They can be kind

00:30:24.940 No, no, no, no, that's the men you pick

00:30:27.740 That's half the men

00:30:28.940 Until you get to know them give it three months six months down the line then we start giving them conversations

00:30:34.060 Shall we have the kids? Shall we move in? Do you want to do that? Yeah, of course

00:30:38.620 We're speaking about life. We're not trying to waste time

00:30:41.900 In or out are you a good judge of character?

00:30:44.140 Um, I think so. Well, that doesn't sound like it. No, it is

00:30:48.700 Because at the end of the day, if you come across a good man, he's hard-working

00:30:53.100 He's very dedicated to his own game. He's alpha male and da da da da, you know

00:30:58.300 You're gonna give him that time of day because you think oh, I like this energy. I like this man

00:31:02.860 So where's that man in your life? He's giving me me

00:31:05.100 I have so many to pick from and I haven't chose yet. Yeah, okay. I have many that I can actually say

00:31:11.260 I can suckle down baby cap 0.65

00:31:16.940 I'm not talking about text. I'm just saying

00:31:24.140 It's any

00:31:25.820 It's any girl if you're if you're single

00:31:28.940 If you're single, it's like then you're not the guys you want don't want to journey

00:31:32.700 I want to be a multi-millionaire

00:31:34.700 So no, if you're if you're single it's come on if a guy if a guy really you thought was taking you serious and checked all your boxes

00:31:41.340 You'd go for it any one

00:31:42.380 Yeah, but i'm a picky person

00:31:47.100 That's my that goes back to my point though because the men the men that are going for you don't live up to your standards

00:31:51.980 So either your standards are too high

00:31:53.820 Actually, there's one particular person and i'm like wow you really did do that like he read and i'm really shocked

00:32:01.260 And i'm really proud of the man he's become and i've known him for many years and you know

00:32:05.820 We could have been in a relationship say 15 years ago, but i was like no i've come to london

00:32:11.180 And i'm on a journey and i don't want to be distracted by these guys because guess what they're gonna breathe put give a baby to you

00:32:17.660 No, not necessarily of course you do i'm on a journey

00:32:23.500 How can i be judging characters when i'm on a journey question you said do you have kids?

00:32:28.460 No, I don't kids and you said you're 39. Yes, you want kids?

00:32:32.300 With the right person if I don't I have many nieces and nephews. Okay, so

00:32:36.940 I've got a big family

00:32:37.980 But but it goes back to you

00:32:40.060 You haven't found the right person to have kids with so so again again i've been picky again

00:32:44.300 Right, so so there's there's there's a miss there's a misconnect there has it's either it's either wait wait

00:32:50.780 So it's either your standards. It's either your standards are too high very high

00:32:54.460 You don't know how to pick and maybe you don't have a good judge of character or the men that you want don't want you 1.00

00:33:00.140 It's one of the three like there has to be maybe the guys who I wanted

00:33:04.220 They probably don't want me no more because we're in a different

00:33:07.980 Category he's in he's far away. I would have to move to his location and

00:33:14.940 And then the ones in England

00:33:22.220 You've been dating since what you're 18 16 so in 20 years you're the only common denominator. It can't be all the men

00:33:28.460 It's you

00:33:30.700 It's not me though because if I have some guys

00:33:34.780 That are ready and waiting for me to say yes

00:33:39.740 You know what I mean?

00:33:40.700 That's just my choice

00:33:41.660 But you know I'm okay. It might be your life choices

00:33:44.460 It might be but but it goes back to you're the common denominator. Just like my outcomes

00:33:49.900 It's my fault everyone's own outcomes are their own fault. It's choices though

00:33:54.380 Hey, can I give

00:33:55.660 I really think it's the energy that she's putting that because you're in your you're in your place where you want to go high up in life

00:34:02.700 You're also not giving those energy to those men. That's why things ain't happening as well

00:34:06.300 I can't waste time guys. I'm a I'm gonna do a little business thing here

00:34:10.860 You want you said you want to be a multi-millionaire be super successful, right?

00:34:13.340 Yeah, I'm gonna give you I'm about to make you a multi-frickin millionaire

00:34:16.460 You're ready for this start a cat food company and call your friends

00:34:19.580 You will make millions

00:34:21.260 No, I don't have friends like that. No, I'm sorry. You made my you might make comments

00:34:25.900 But that's not my forte

00:34:27.900 When are you gonna be a millionaire by well, there's no time plan, but we're working on the journey

00:34:32.940 So we're doing everything possible to make it over half a million saved

00:34:37.660 No, I've got some money saved on okay, so but it's like when you've had 20 years to do it

00:34:43.180 I mean, it's not about when you know what it is about when and it's also about who

00:34:48.620 With this because if I'll have such a high mentality, I need somebody to match that

00:34:54.780 Okay, so and they can't bring down at the at the rate. I'm at I'm 26. Okay, I'm 26

00:35:00.380 I probably will be a millionaire in the next five years

00:35:04.220 No, no, no, it's not even like that

00:35:05.420 But I'm saying like you but I'm saying like but I could tell you I didn't need anyone else to help me do it

00:35:11.100 I just did it and it's and it's like

00:35:13.420 Like if you're 39 and you're not on the actual path to being a millionaire like

00:35:18.540 I wasn't able to get on my path until I was 26

00:35:21.420 But but my my whole point but so it's still been 15 years

00:35:25.100 That I had to come and move from a different city

00:35:29.260 No, let me give you the statistics. I had to move from a different city. Okay, I had to start fresh again

00:35:35.100 Okay, you came here with nothing with nobody. Yeah, I did that a year ago

00:35:40.220 You did that a year ago. Maybe you had a bit more supportive parents. I don't have supportive parents

00:35:46.140 My dad has passed away and my mom. She's a single mom. So no, I can't look to my family for anything 0.93

00:35:51.980 So everything is all by myself, which is which is fine

00:35:56.140 You know, you can phone your dad and say dad. What a story. I've got a I've got a problem

00:36:01.900 I can't you're right, I can't I have to work it out and figure it out for myself

00:36:07.020 If it's going to take me 15 years

00:36:09.020 You still have that same problem and that's what I'm saying. It's like I am changing every day and every day

00:36:14.700 I'm getting better and better and that's what I do know

00:36:18.060 You're going to be a millionaire and this is like this just sounds that is a dream

00:36:27.740 It's a dream. It's just it's a dream. Yeah, but we're working towards it. How I do properties

00:36:33.900 You didn't ask me my life story. I'll do properties. I'll do acting. I'll do music. I'm all on intellectual property

00:36:41.420 Intellectual property takes time

00:36:43.420 Then your property games take time as well. You know, I mean i've been working on properties since 2017

00:36:50.460 I didn't leave school with any jcse's and I've just finished university four weeks ago 1.00

00:36:55.260 So I had to go through that journey of becoming

00:36:57.900 Intellectual for me to go on these journeys

00:37:00.860 Do you think you're still going to have the type of energy you had in your 20s in your 40s and 50s?

00:37:05.820 Maybe not, but guess what we're gonna keep on going

00:37:08.460 But you're going to be competing with the people in their 20s and their 30s

00:37:12.220 No competition. There's no competition

00:37:14.780 Because if you're not telling you that for you, but there is a there is a competition

00:37:19.740 But I can't look on that. I promise you that business is absolutely a competition

00:37:26.380 Can I just say one thing, please

00:37:28.380 Babe, you know you're saying you're not in competition my daughter is going to be 18 in july

00:37:32.540 So you really think that you're going to have the same sort of the same energy

00:37:36.540 That's what you're just saying the same energy and the same drive and the same opportunities that my 18 year daughter

00:37:41.180 Because you're you're going to be in the same gene

00:37:42.780 But would your daughter be doing the same things that i'm doing who knows

00:37:48.060 Probably not if she wants to be successful like 0.99

00:37:50.940 She could be you know, I mean she could be but we're going to be in a whole different category

00:37:55.740 I'm going to be in the say the 40 to 45 she's going to be 18 to 25 0.99

00:38:00.060 But this is there is a lot of things a 40 and a 45 year old can do

00:38:04.140 This is my point though for you. It's like you're 39

00:38:07.100 It doesn't sound like it doesn't it doesn't no

00:38:09.260 No, I'm i'm i'm just being honest. It doesn't sound like it doesn't sound like you're on track to be a millionaire

00:38:14.860 It doesn't this doesn't sound maybe you could have said that to henry for okay, okay

00:38:21.900 It doesn't based on the way you could based on your your what you're saying. It doesn't sound like you're on track

00:38:26.700 You might be I don't believe in statistics. Okay. Okay. Yeah, I don't

00:38:33.420 But business business, okay, okay, I'll give you something business people usually believe in statistics

00:38:39.100 You're going to look at your market. You're going to look at the people you're selling you believe in statistics

00:38:42.940 But if you want to be a millionaire, you probably should believe in statistics if you're so

00:38:47.180 So, wait, wait, wait, wait, so now now you're at the point

00:38:50.140 It's like you you want a family with the right guy and I can tell you do

00:38:53.820 But it's like you're curving the guy that you said would be a good relationship for you for 15 years

00:38:58.460 But attraction is everything. No, it's not. It is. It's not it is when you're younger, but when you're older, it's like you you got to pick your poison

00:39:05.180 Do you do you have money that you could be saved for retirement like what do we need 1.5 million to retire?

00:39:16.700 Oh working on it because I wasn't around the people that was

00:39:20.620 Going for those goals. I had to break myself out of my environment, but this is

00:39:28.380 Generational class environment

00:39:30.380 My dad grew up my dad grew up on the south side of chicago with 13 kids

00:39:35.660 He didn't grow up in a good environment. None of his siblings are successful

00:39:38.860 It's either you're going to be successful or you're not and most of the time people that are going to be millionaires are on the way

00:39:43.980 By the time they're your age because you'd have to compete with the people that are in their 20s and 30s and have way more energy

00:39:49.820 Than you're going to that does not matter because everybody's going to be evolving

00:39:54.620 Differently probably can I uh, this is like the reason um, I think some of us are a little bit taken back

00:39:59.740 Is like you're obviously intelligent

00:40:01.740 No, i'm just happy with my life

00:40:04.380 Can I add something?

00:40:06.940 I really feel like with the cost of living a million pound is nothing as well and that's the sad part

00:40:12.860 We're all going to struggle

00:40:14.860 Right, okay. Sorry. Go ahead. Go ahead. So sorry. I forgot your name

00:40:18.540 Abby

00:40:19.420 Abby

00:40:20.620 Abby, I apologize for that. Um, you're obviously

00:40:23.660 Intelligent like there's no question we can tell it like your thoughts are there

00:40:27.420 You're you look nice, you know, like you're a nice looking lady. You're smart. Your verbal intelligence is fairly high

00:40:34.060 Like you think fast you talk fast

00:40:36.780 There's there's a lot of opportunity a lot of potential. You recognize your own potential, you know

00:40:41.420 Yeah, so that's why i'm not involved by competition or anything because once you're in your tunnel vision

00:40:48.380 The delusion like you don't have to sell us anymore on that we already know but you're smart you're you're well-spoken

00:40:53.820 You're you're beautiful like you have a lot of the potential is incredible. The potential is incredible

00:41:00.540 But but there's the I had this situation this situation this situation this situation now pearl's dad one of 13

00:41:07.420 Certainly didn't grow up very privileged, right?

00:41:09.500 So you guys meet like real simple like I grew up as a jew in the soviet union, which was not a happy place for me

00:41:15.500 We immigrated to canada in 92 which were eating at the food bank and then

00:41:20.300 Here here here's what happened to me. I'll tell you guys a quick story and I hope it's interesting, right?

00:41:24.780 I was rollerblading 0.95

00:41:26.780 Like a complete loser rollerblading

00:41:29.340 Like four or five kilometers to go from my parked car on the highway to my university because I couldn't afford the 75 cents a day 0.97

00:41:36.780 They were charging for parking at my university because I was paying my own school

00:41:40.060 So I was rollerblading I would park on the highway and I would rollerblade like a good hour to get to my university campus

00:41:46.620 And somebody saw me do that and they go wow

00:41:49.100 You're so motivated, you know, I can see you like you want to stay in shape blah blah blah

00:41:52.460 And i'm too embarrassed to tell this person i'm just freaking poor

00:41:55.900 Like I can't afford the 75 cents, you know

00:41:58.140 You're motivated

00:41:59.180 But but here but here's the thing

00:42:01.340 I was lucky because I met a mentor somebody that said hey, you know

00:42:05.340 You want to do better than this? I was like, yeah, and that's a dangerous thing

00:42:08.140 I was like 19 or 20. It's a dangerous thing and this person said to me

00:42:10.860 Hey

00:42:11.020 I work on this company and all this person was doing is selling encyclopedias door-to-door

00:42:14.940 And they said you can go do this and I that's that's what I did for six years how I paid for university

00:42:20.220 And I got like two degrees by selling encyclopedias door-to-door for six years

00:42:25.020 Luckily fortunately for me I met a mentor

00:42:28.380 That saw my potential saw my energy and I was delusional because whatever I was doing I couldn't afford 75 cents for parking

00:42:34.860 So I knew that I was delusional because what I wanted was not what I had in my life fair enough

00:42:39.180 I'm gonna give a plug. So that's what we do in our company

00:42:42.700 53 percent of our sales people make six figures within 18 months

00:42:47.020 53 percent

00:42:48.700 The reason I plug us here is lgb.com really simple

00:42:53.020 What you need is like to be around somebody that's actually done what you want to do

00:42:57.260 And not make up stories of how it works

00:42:58.940 Like there are people that have done what you want to do find those people and they will be so happy happy to mentor you

00:43:05.020 Because you know, that's what we do in our company, isn't it?

00:43:07.020 What makes you think I'm not in those group of people? What makes you think I am not evolving around those people?

00:43:13.020 The answer is results

00:43:13.900 But my journey actually started

00:43:16.700 Properly at 26 years old when I moved to london

00:43:20.860 I still had to educate myself. I came here with a hundred and eight pounds in my pocket

00:43:25.660 Tell me how I'm gonna sort myself out get my house crew

00:43:28.700 I kind of understand her

00:43:31.980 I'm gonna let him go. I don't think he's talked yet

00:43:35.180 To your point, uh, you was talking about how you came here with a hundred pounds

00:43:39.820 I immigrated from bulgaria with my parents and we lived in a single room

00:43:46.060 It was just a single room the three of us and right now i'm 21 and just like you

00:43:51.420 I wanted to do better for myself because I was an electrician

00:43:55.420 And I wasn't happy with how things were going

00:43:58.460 And I joined and all of a sudden i'm meeting high net worth individuals on a daily basis

00:44:05.180 And i'm improving myself and you're here saying I had to take myself from the toxic situations that I had in my life

00:44:13.260 Yes, but everyone deals with them. So that's really an excuse that you tell yourself. That's true, but can I say something um

00:44:20.700 For you can look like an excuse. Yeah, but what she's trying to say. Yeah, you had still your parents on your back

00:44:25.900 You came with your parents on a single room, but you were with your parents

00:44:30.140 You were not by yourself. You were not providing and food by yourself. You were not paying your bills by yourself

00:44:36.620 You were not looking around

00:44:39.580 I was yeah, okay

00:44:43.260 I understand her because I get it. She I don't know your past but before moving to London

00:44:52.700 Maybe you didn't maybe you were just I don't know you're going through life the difficulties of learning

00:44:58.540 Well, I don't know

00:45:00.700 You came London and the thing is I get it because some people they don't see as let's just go for it

00:45:05.900 Some people want to better themselves and educate themselves and so that they know how to intellectually grow

00:45:12.300 I just think I can people the people that are successful don't educate themselves. They just do exactly

00:45:18.060 They don't they don't spend time

00:45:20.060 Some people

00:45:21.100 years to even know that though

00:45:23.100 Some people don't even know that

00:45:26.780 How am I 21 and I already know this?

00:45:29.100 But not everyone is the same

00:45:31.740 The right education bro

00:45:34.540 I don't have education

00:45:35.900 No, I'm saying you had the right people around you

00:45:38.140 To educate you

00:45:39.340 Do you know what I'm trying to say?

00:45:40.220 Not everyone is going to

00:45:41.100 It's guidance

00:45:41.900 But you choose but okay at 18 that's an excuse but at 40 you pick who you surround yourself with

00:45:48.620 I'll give you an example one time I decided I wanted more rich friends

00:45:52.140 I literally was just like my friends are too broke

00:45:54.140 I'm not a bunch of brokies

00:45:56.700 And so you know I lived I lived in Milwaukee at the time and I worked I worked a sales job

00:46:01.420 So I was like you know what I want to just see if I can call some of these numbers

00:46:04.780 And see if any of these executives because I definitely I was trying to sell copy or cinema one to meet with me

00:46:09.260 But I was like I want to see if they'll get coffee with me and just like

00:46:12.780 And see if they can mentor me ask them about their success

00:46:15.340 I got three c-level executives of multi-million dollar companies to literally sit down spend 30 minutes with me just by asking

00:46:22.700 And yes, and then another time another another time another time this is for a youtube video, right?

00:46:28.540 I was just bored one day and you know people will always

00:46:31.100 You know say it's because i'm a girl or because of this or because of that whatever, but

00:46:34.300 Like honestly, I I feel like I could do this with anyone

00:46:37.500 I I um, I did this for a youtube video

00:46:39.500 I didn't have a job because I quit my job to be a tick tocker. I know 1.00

00:46:43.660 And yeah, I quit I was working in sales and I was doing quite well

00:46:46.380 But I just quit it to do to do tick tock and I moved home with my parents

00:46:50.220 And I was like maybe i'll see if I could find a job in a day

00:46:52.940 So I went to this rich neighborhood, um, and it's by chicago

00:46:55.980 It's like where all the rich people are and I was like, I wonder if I go door-to-door

00:46:58.940 I like snuck into the gated area

00:47:00.220 I know and um, I was like, I wonder if I go door-to-door in this neighborhood and just ask people for a job within one day

00:47:06.620 I got an interview for a sales job now

00:47:08.620 I didn't want the job

00:47:09.500 So I didn't end up taking it because I was just trying to do youtube

00:47:11.980 But but the point is like

00:47:14.300 It's all about like you can you have two choices in life. Everything can be an excuse

00:47:19.180 I haven't made any

00:47:20.300 But you have you've made excuses the whole time. I came I came here 13 years ago. I was learning

00:47:24.860 I only had a hundred dollars in my pocket

00:47:28.460 But it is because honestly the people and i'm telling you i'm around these people the people that are really successful

00:47:33.580 They don't talk about that. They just talk about what they're doing

00:47:36.300 They're so excited about this next project this this and this

00:47:41.020 And maybe you are but i'm saying the way you've represented yourself in this conversation is it's always an excuse

00:47:47.820 It's like it's it's it's it's it's describing what it is

00:47:57.180 It's describing outcomes and it's like you've had 13 years comes i had to deal with

00:48:02.620 Everyone's got stuff to deal with what did you have to deal with

00:48:08.380 I i came to this country by myself well alone i didn't know anyone in this country

00:48:13.420 Mm-hmm. So I mean have other people had it harder did you have it harder sure but i'm telling you

00:48:18.700 I know people in worse situations that made more so

00:48:21.740 I don't know. I feel like you're talking from a privileged place. Yes

00:48:30.220 This is the thing

00:48:31.260 I'm and i'll tell you i'm talking

00:48:33.820 No, no, no, no

00:48:34.780 I'm talking from a privileged place and being around these types of people

00:48:38.620 So I can tell you the people that have had good outcomes and I know people that have had good outcomes

00:48:42.220 Outcomes from wait. I know people that have had good outcomes from the bottom

00:48:45.820 I've known people that have had good outcomes from the top and I can tell you the way they talk

00:48:50.300 Isn't the way you talk no because because they're not always talking about the reasons they didn't succeed they're talking about

00:48:55.500 Because of the question you've got to answer questions though

00:48:59.500 You know i mean you've got to i'm answering the questions that you're putting out there you know

00:49:04.460 Have you got a boyfriend no how old are you 39

00:49:07.740 So i'm responding you know if you ask me now okay what do you do now

00:49:13.900 Nobody's asked me that you only be like oh you're making excuses i'm not i'm evolving

00:49:20.780 The information you gave you offered it was it didn't really have much to do with the question

00:49:24.460 I asked

00:49:26.460 Did you want to raise your hand raise?

00:49:28.300 Yeah, I just wanted to add to her point about uh, you don't have

00:49:32.860 Don't have any bills to pay when you're 18 living with your parents

00:49:36.220 But uh everyone has their situations and in fact

00:49:39.740 During the coronavirus I was maybe like 19. I had to basically

00:49:45.180 Pay for the whole family my mom and dad went out of business

00:49:48.460 And I was the only man in the house that was earning money and providing for the house

00:49:52.620 So there is different things that people go through and again, you can't judge on them

00:49:58.860 And i'm not trying to judge you and to your point that you had a hundred pounds in your account

00:50:05.100 When you came here to be fair, you don't really need money to make money

00:50:09.340 As long as you're willing to do it

00:50:10.780 I feel like in this conversation

00:50:12.700 We're trying to put the finger on each person and be like, oh you did you did

00:50:17.260 Each person is different. Each person is a different character

00:50:20.700 Each person different like

00:50:22.860 See what I would say although we're all having conversations and we're sharing experience and stuff about our own lives

00:50:27.660 We feel like we're being vulnerable because we're sharing information

00:50:30.300 Actually, I don't see that anybody here it might feel like people are being personally attacked

00:50:34.460 But it's not and i'm hearing like I can hear that you're feeling a bit maybe getting a bit defensive

00:50:39.260 Because I don't I don't think yeah, I agree words are powerful, but it's also words are down to interpretation

00:50:44.780 So somebody could say to me that i'm making an excuse. I'm not going to be defensive at somebody saying i'm making an excuse

00:50:49.740 That might make me think to myself. Okay, could I have done something more?

00:50:55.020 Could I have done this? Okay, it's all how we how we take it and how we understand it

00:50:59.260 So everyone's circumstances are their own. There's no competition as you said

00:51:03.820 Maybe you felt like pearl was talking from a place of privilege. Somebody else might think that you're talking from a place of privilege

00:51:09.420 You know everyone's circumstances and situations are their own

00:51:12.140 All you have to do is know that you're doing the best that you can do

00:51:15.580 But it's also very important that you need to be realistic

00:51:18.460 I think that I think as soon as we start being honest with ourselves and truthful with ourselves about where we lack

00:51:24.060 Where we could do more where we need to be more disciplined or the changes that we need to make

00:51:29.100 Then you will really see like a

00:51:31.660 Propel of energy and you will go into the area that you want to go in

00:51:35.580 But I think that people spend a lot of time procrastinating and hesitating and i'm not saying that you're doing that

00:51:40.220 But people do spend a lot of time procrastinating hesitating. They're not in the right circles

00:51:45.260 They're not having the right influences

00:51:47.580 But they still believe that they're going to achieve the things that they want to achieve. That's okay

00:51:51.980 You can still believe that but I don't think that you I don't think that the word excuse was supposed to be an attack on you

00:51:58.540 I think excuse is what a lot of people do

00:52:01.420 Yeah, it is a lot what people do

00:52:04.060 But you gotta you gotta you gotta look at the timeline, you know

00:52:09.020 But that's just for your personal

00:52:11.740 I could have probably done this a bit more I could have done this could have went college earlier

00:52:16.140 But at the end of the day, you don't know the challenges one has to face

00:52:20.620 To make me end up and sit next to you guys today, you know, you know, you know, Pearl, right, you know, no, Pearl

00:52:26.060 You've met

00:52:28.060 You have a wonderful example of somebody that came to a new country that has created a

00:52:33.020 This is why I've met you today

00:52:35.660 Because now I'm evolving around these significant following significant future. Yeah, but it's like I give you I tell you something and you argue with it

00:52:43.740 No, I have to stand my ground up because I know my heart

00:52:47.740 And if you would say no, you make excuses 0.99

00:52:49.740 I've had successful people tell me that before and my reaction is oh shit, you're probably right because they know something you don't 0.98

00:53:00.540 You have to be open to it. Yeah, and so it's not an attack 0.97

00:53:04.060 It's not an attack

00:53:06.060 I don't feel attacked or anything, but i'm a very strong woman and I will stand my ground and I would like to be heard

00:53:13.340 And i'm going to be heard regardless, you know, I want you to understand not even understand

00:53:18.540 I want you to overstand like the way you did, you know, you know, the type of background i'm coming from

00:53:24.380 If I tell you some horror stories that i've done. Yeah, it will it will

00:53:29.980 I had to change my mentality. I had to deprogram and re-program

00:53:35.820 I I you know, I actually I actually get you basically, you know, I don't know. I don't know if it's not everybody's gonna

00:53:44.460 Okay, I don't know I don't want to share something first, but

00:53:47.340 I get the process and I get how and it's different for different people it's upbringing and

00:53:54.220 How we've also been taught how to deal with certain situations in life if we're not taught

00:53:59.420 Initially just by not sorting out certain situations we go back. So that's where people get some advantage some

00:54:05.660 Where people get disadvantage and it is what it is journeys are journeys simple as you changing your mentality

00:54:12.700 And you're going back to your friends that you used to speak to in 16 18 20

00:54:18.620 And you're telling them the journey who don't even understand it and you think to yourself, you know what?

00:54:23.740 I need new friends. I need

00:54:25.740 I ain't gonna lie

00:54:27.180 You know, you know how so I can speak to them

00:54:30.780 And they understand just being plus size right i'm not even gonna lie in different weight changes

00:54:35.580 I was being treated differently

00:54:37.740 So that just goes to show like when I so pre-pandemic I became 28 stones I got ill so I was 28 stones

00:54:45.900 And I'm not gonna lie people were really being mean to me and I'm a person who I'm quite a happy

00:54:51.660 cheering person

00:54:52.700 I love speaking to elderly people on the tube and just talking to people and making conversation

00:54:57.100 But when I lost that weight, I'm telling you

00:54:59.820 After pandemic I lost eight stones and people treated me differently and I'm never gonna lie even business way

00:55:06.060 A lot of people come up to me like oh my god, you've got something and we'd like to work with you

00:55:10.300 So it just goes to show how sometimes by looks and how you are

00:55:14.940 people also

00:55:15.740 You have to be the change that people will believe

00:55:19.740 Yeah, honestly

00:55:20.540 What do you mean you have to be like

00:55:22.220 You got to be the change

00:55:23.660 See I just sometimes you're so you guys are saying things and I feel like they mean nothing

00:55:27.820 No

00:55:28.300 That's because if you feel the hardship and and if you feel the heart if you've been through the hardship and you've gone through the cycle of

00:55:36.220 Actually, okay getting out from this hardship, then you'd you'd understand the feeling

00:55:40.540 If you don't understand the feeling and if you haven't gone through the process, it's really hard to understand

00:55:45.100 I'm saying it's not about the feeling like if we're talking about success

00:55:49.020 If we're talking about business success, it's what what are you doing?

00:55:51.900 So I'll give you an example when I first started this, all right, it was just me

00:55:55.500 I was in a living room in a small apartment in East London

00:55:59.180 And I was running to the gym trying to get people to get the gym to come on my podcast

00:56:04.140 And then I could say this is what I'm doing

00:56:05.740 But it's like when we talk about oh this feeling revolving mentally, it's like it's like what is

00:56:12.540 That's what i'm saying you've come from a privileged place where your mindset has been amazing for you

00:56:18.300 I had to change my mindset, babe

00:56:20.300 I had to change it

00:56:21.180 You're 39 this is like a conversation with a 16 year old

00:56:23.660 And I started changing my mindset say about 27, 28 when I realized that I had to deprogram

00:56:29.580 You're in your mindset as a teenager

00:56:34.460 But but what are the results?

00:56:36.300 Like that's my thing

00:56:37.020 The results is you still can't have a conversation without without getting defensive

00:56:42.300 And it's like I need to be right

00:56:43.660 I'm telling you

00:56:43.980 When you're being attacked from people that don't know your life story

00:56:47.740 Oh, no, you're corrent

00:56:49.180 But this is what I just said

00:56:49.980 Oh, right, not attacking, not attacking

00:56:51.660 We were talking about being successful in business

00:56:54.540 Give me the right word then

00:56:55.340 No, but

00:56:55.820 Give me the right word

00:56:56.620 You're coming across a little bit defensive

00:56:58.380 Defensive

00:56:58.860 And the topic was, yeah

00:57:00.300 You got to be

00:57:01.340 The subject was about profession, like in business

00:57:04.460 Being successful in business

00:57:05.900 Yeah, we want to be

00:57:06.540 Yeah, so but what you

00:57:08.220 But the conversation has gone into like a spiritual journey

00:57:11.420 And uplifting

00:57:12.140 It has gone

00:57:12.620 Yeah, but that's not business

00:57:14.300 That's totally separate

00:57:15.260 Logic and emotion are too completely different

00:57:17.340 No, I feel like

00:57:17.900 I'm not going to need to change

00:57:19.340 Okay, wait

00:57:19.740 You guys can't say

00:57:20.660 Wait, I'm going to let them go

00:57:21.260 I can see

00:57:22.020 Basically, I get what you're saying

00:57:24.420 Everything's about feelings, emotions

00:57:25.980 But that's not what business is about

00:57:27.540 But sometimes people actually don't know business

00:57:30.580 And they need to learn their lessons

00:57:32.220 And then they get business

00:57:33.820 And then they flourish

00:57:35.140 And I think that's where she's coming from

00:57:38.140 And I get your point as well

00:57:39.460 Because I get it when you say

00:57:40.820 But you're talking about feelings and things

00:57:43.160 But feelings get involved when you learn a lesson

00:57:45.960 And then you need to try again

00:57:47.960 Get back up

00:57:48.720 Fail

00:57:49.320 Try again

00:57:50.240 So is that what happened to you?

00:57:52.740 I don't know

00:57:53.300 You don't need to answer

00:57:53.940 Actually, don't answer it

00:57:54.880 I had to reprogram

00:57:55.660 So probably did

00:57:57.160 I'm very good at responsibility

00:57:57.540 I'm sorry

00:58:02.320 I'm sorry

00:58:02.520 I'm sorry

00:58:02.880 But I'm sorry

00:58:03.740 If I didn't

00:58:07.760 Oh, well ihan

00:58:09.000 and I'm sorry

00:58:09.840 Thank you

00:58:10.140 And I'm sorry

00:58:10.620 Thank you

00:58:11.580 Thank you

00:58:12.260 Bye

00:58:12.300 Oh, my God

00:58:14.860 I'm sorry

00:58:15.560 I'm sorry

00:58:16.620 I'm sorry

00:58:18.260 But yeah

00:58:18.560 I'm sorry

00:58:18.940 I'm sorry

00:58:20.120 And I'm sorry

00:58:20.660 I'm sorry

00:58:21.020 I'm sorry

00:58:21.340 I'm sorry

00:58:22.780 I'm sorry

00:58:23.900 I'm sorry

00:58:24.780 I'm sorry

00:58:25.120 I'm sorry

00:58:25.340 I'm sorry

JustPearlyThings - July 17, 2023

Modern Woman Ranting About Her Life.

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