JustPearlyThings - Modern Woman Says This About Men

00:00:00.000 guys so today we are talking about hypergamy so i'm just curious um for the ladies on the panel 1.00

00:00:07.760 have you guys heard of hypergamy yes yes i have now you have monkey watching not before today

00:00:15.280 not before today i googled it just before coming home okay so hypergamy is the action of marrying 1.00

00:00:21.160 or forming a sexual relationship with a person of a superior sociological or educational background

00:00:27.540 so the idea is that when women date we want to date up in some way whether it's they make more

00:00:33.340 money than us they're more educated than us or they're better looking than us and this is just

00:00:39.620 when you survey women on what they want in a man and what researchers have come to find out is that 0.97

00:00:44.600 100 of women want 20 of men and so the reason a lot of times girls say things like men are trash men are 0.95

00:00:51.220 the problem that sort of thing men always cheat is because we're all dating the same ones 0.61

00:00:55.200 that's 20 percent yeah and some people think it's even smaller some people say five percent but i

00:01:03.520 just say 20 on like the high end wow yeah is that overall yeah well it's the way they find this out

00:01:09.860 is through dating app data so there's only available the women that want to date up there's only 20 0.75

00:01:16.080 of yeah available so i'll give you an example um how many of you guys want to date a guy over six foot

00:01:22.560 no five ten what's your height requirement go ahead i don't think i have a height actually i don't

00:01:29.080 want to date anyone five five so okay that's that's five eleven five eleven okay i'm barely five one so

00:01:36.440 okay you got the hole you got the hole anything up here's a bonus i'm five six so i tend to want

00:01:43.400 somebody around my height or taller okay yeah i mean i'm a fellow shorty so i've never really had to

00:01:49.220 think about it so the reason i bring this up is because most girls when i ask them height wise 1.00

00:01:53.960 they want to date their height or taller and so that's just a an example of how women use hypergamy 1.00

00:01:59.240 so mike yeah yeah you see right interesting so my question is a common complaint that i hear from men

00:02:10.020 is that women have too high of standards when are standards too high and i want to go around starting 1.00

00:02:16.020 there um i don't agree with that statement okay go ahead i just think a lot a lot of dudes are weak

00:02:26.900 and so instead of rising to the competition they'll rather tell women hey man you should just want less

00:02:33.440 but from what i see in the dating game the characteristics or the qualities women want aren't 1.00

00:02:39.500 are things you can develop you know some of the best seducers in history maybe neil strauss who wrote the

00:02:45.400 game he's a bold 40 year old man and he got the most tell of anyone in new york so the idea that

00:02:51.680 it's about being six foot and a millionaire is completely untrue and these guys know this because

00:02:55.260 they complain about chad and tyrone and chad and tyrone is never like some rich guy is it you know so um

00:03:00.200 yeah but those qualities of being kind being charismatic being sophisticated in some way being

00:03:05.860 athletic you guys can hit the gym you could learn how to talk to women you could be more patient

00:03:10.380 you know you could respect her more in certain ways so i don't agree that the standards are too high

00:03:15.020 okay go ahead um the standards too high i think i think women have a lot of expectations 1.00

00:03:24.600 when it comes to men and i think sometimes those expectations aren't always realistic

00:03:30.500 um i do think that men obviously do think that women um think too highly of themselves sometimes

00:03:42.140 but i think that's the them problem to be fair i think they need to i think they need to up their game

00:03:48.740 in regards to being a lot more um understanding when it comes to women

00:03:54.480 and yeah that's just that's my opinion okay go ahead um yeah i'd say the same um women's 0.86

00:04:02.200 expectations more than standards um and

00:04:06.400 kind of lost words no yeah i don't think women's standards are too high i agree more or less with

00:04:16.160 everything um you said that men have to kind of come to an understanding of what

00:04:23.560 men have to be more i'd say it's more i'd say women's expectations are more on an emotional level

00:04:29.640 than a money level uh for me anyway they want they want like a guy that's emotionally available

00:04:35.880 is that yeah for me it's it's i'd rather someone that was emotionally available than someone that

00:04:41.520 had a lot of money okay what about you i think it kind of depends if you're looking at the

00:04:46.180 talk a little closer so it depends if you're looking at the real world or through dating apps

00:04:51.580 because on dating apps it's easy to say yeah i want x y and z but actually when you meet people

00:04:56.560 naturally you'll find that a lot of that kind of goes out the window and you're happy as long as

00:05:01.800 you just have that connection or the basic fundamentals with that individual which comes

00:05:06.120 down to like the emotional intelligence and things like that as opposed to saying okay what's

00:05:10.100 your salary how tall are you what do you do okay go ahead i would say that there's a difference

00:05:15.620 between being selective and having high standards i think that women and it's it's if you look at

00:05:20.000 dating app data it's very well understood that that women are they will they will swipe less 0.97

00:05:25.860 freely they'll be they'll think more about their swiping and they'll probably swipe right less

00:05:29.140 often whereas men if you're going to stereotype will just you know they will play the numbers game

00:05:34.320 um but i wouldn't say that's because women are looking for a man of a certain height and a certain

00:05:38.380 income i think they're looking for someone who they click with more and there just seems to be a

00:05:41.720 phenomenon where men seem to play the numbers game more okay what do you think i think a lot that was a lot

00:05:47.220 to wrap in all right firstly yeah

00:05:52.080 no because it's like okay so all right the 80 of men that we're talking about

00:06:00.860 you have to understand that they're completely invisible we're talking about ramroop from chicken

00:06:09.180 cottage we're not you know i'm trying to say you know like so when when we're starting we're starting

00:06:14.560 at a basis where you already are this is tyrone he's already six four i already know what he does

00:06:18.860 you don't need to ask him what his career is you already know he's so i wanted someone that's nice

00:06:22.760 it's because you want someone that's nice that already has the fits the narrative that the person

00:06:27.980 of what you want you're not going to be attracted to someone that you're not attracted to or doesn't

00:06:33.140 fit your criteria and women in the west criteria is very high and they all have to they all seem to 0.99

00:06:40.140 have the same criteria they all want the same type of guy even though they would love to admit that

00:06:44.500 they don't want the same type of guy maybe it doesn't work out with the right type of guy and 0.99

00:06:48.320 now you move on to another guy that you you don't feel as happy that you are with that guy when really

00:06:54.980 and truly you wish that guy that you really want was like the guy that you're with now is more what

00:07:00.340 happens when you say like out on the road that you meet people no people women have to settle and 0.66

00:07:05.060 they do settle when they hit the wall they settle when they've been through too much stress they settle

00:07:09.540 when they need money problems they settle when when they when they like you know what this guy's

00:07:14.960 just on my case so much let me just all right give me the chance yeah that's when they settle but

00:07:20.540 they they're really trying to get that main guy and if that main guy came when they are in a

00:07:24.760 relationship with that the guy that they settled hypergamy bro they're gone no i don't agree

00:07:30.400 what do you class as that main guy out of curiosity you know the guy okay i'll give you i'll give you

00:07:37.660 an example okay most girls that i know even there's one guy that they just like really deeply loved

00:07:44.880 right and they loved more than all of their other exes and they could be dating the next guy or the

00:07:50.160 next guy or the next guy but if that ex calls they're back

00:07:53.340 i think i think i think that comes with age okay i think um obviously i'm 41 sorry i'm 41 and um 0.60

00:08:08.620 i don't go back i go forward but in my younger gone back in my young i've gone back for sex 0.65

00:08:16.060 that's it so i wouldn't ever look at that person as to have a relationship with if i haven't you

00:08:23.700 know been seeing anyone and i want to have sex then i might go back to that person or i did go

00:08:28.960 back to a person in the past but yeah do you think it's your choice of course it's my choice

00:08:34.900 you think a man wanting to have a relationship with you is your choice

00:08:39.340 yeah i do so what do you think would separate the man that just wants to sleep with you from the man

00:08:45.220 that wants to have a relationship with you that's a very good question but i don't know it's the

00:08:52.820 individual thing isn't it i mean i can probably count on one hand the amount of men who just

00:08:58.920 wanted to sleep with me so yeah every girl wants to sleep with you no but i mean i mean i mean we all

00:09:09.160 know that when a man meets a woman it's initially you know attraction isn't it like obviously

00:09:15.180 women have the same thing as well it's not it's not just men by the way it's not the same um well

00:09:19.440 i can look at a man and think oh i'd just love to sleep with him but he's not i wouldn't really

00:09:23.640 want to be with him for the rest of my life so we do have that as well yeah but do you get attached

00:09:29.080 when that happens i don't know so do you think that's because you've passed the stage where you

00:09:34.100 can get attached no i've never been attached you've never been attached through sex no never never

00:09:40.380 you've never been in a long-term relationship but it wasn't because of the sex and the sex are

00:09:48.880 you meaning has the sex kept us there i've never been whipped so i'm saying i'm not saying whipped i'm

00:09:55.140 saying you've never grown to love a man through sex ever no i don't think i have i've loved someone's

00:10:03.440 sex yeah staying with someone because someone is good in bed no way i'm not saying you'll stay

00:10:12.780 only because he's good in bed but that's typically how women bond we release a hormone during sex 1.00

00:10:17.820 that men don't which is oxytocin so basically like women fall in love through orgasms as like as weird 0.66

00:10:24.340 as weird as that is but like really yeah like because we release a hormone that they don't

00:10:28.680 but as somebody that so when i think i've had a lot of long-term relationships i'm like a

00:10:35.240 relationship person and i'll often wait for quite a while before i have sex with the guy so i want to 0.52

00:10:42.160 date them first i want to get to know what's about see if there's a connection or anything like that

00:10:46.340 and i can also go through phases of not sleeping with them because i think most of the intimacy

00:10:51.440 doesn't come through sex it comes through spending time with that person building a connection with

00:10:56.220 that person and making memories and things i'm not i'm not saying that's the only way you can bond

00:11:00.240 with a guy i'm just saying women bond through sex in a way that men don't i think and and you could

00:11:05.080 you could think it whatever but i'm saying like study after study will tell you women bond in a way

00:11:09.380 that men don't maybe maybe i'm talking to four exceptions i don't know so is that is that why so

00:11:14.980 men do not bond through sex we do they they do but not in the same way they they get they release a

00:11:21.080 hormone that makes them territorial that's why like some guys you know they'll sleep with a girl and 1.00

00:11:25.940 they'll move on and they'll still be mad when the next guy hits because they released a hormone 0.99

00:11:29.520 that made them territorial yeah i was just banned on tiktok and we are demonetized on a daily basis

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JustPearlyThings - April 05, 2023

Modern Woman Says This About Men

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