JustPearlyThings - October 27, 2023


Modern Woman STATES The UNTHINKABLE


Episode Stats


Length

8 minutes

Words per minute

192.83444

Word count

1,638

Sentence count

157

Harmful content

Misogyny

25

sentences flagged

Hate speech

22

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we discuss the benefits and drawbacks of being in a marriage. What does a man get out of a marriage and what does a woman get from a marriage? We also discuss what a man should and shouldn t get from marriage.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 Everybody don't want kids.
00:00:01.720 No, but I said he would not get marriage from, 0.96
00:00:05.180 or he would not likely get children from a woman that's over the age of 35.
00:00:09.820 So she can't offer that in a marriage. 0.61
00:00:11.800 Yeah, okay.
00:00:12.660 But I'm saying by that logic, then the older woman couldn't offer that, right? 0.99
00:00:18.360 Correct.
00:00:19.000 Yeah, okay.
00:00:19.620 So what else does a guy get?
00:00:23.160 A vibe, you know?
00:00:24.460 Like.
00:00:25.020 Like, somebody to lay down with at night, you know?
00:00:32.160 That's just yours, that you're not sharing with anybody else on the streets.
00:00:36.820 Yeah, experience.
00:00:37.960 That whole married vibe.
00:00:40.820 No, a vibe.
00:00:42.440 Like, something that you're not going to get from being out with your boys at the poker game.
00:00:46.120 Like, that kind of vibe.
00:00:47.140 Like, a different type of feeling.
00:00:49.500 Okay.
00:00:50.320 What do you think a man should get out of marriage? 0.86
00:00:52.300 Um, I'm not sure, because I don't think a man can really gain anything from a marriage. 0.90
00:00:58.600 Oh.
00:00:59.380 Very well spotted.
00:01:00.440 Oh.
00:01:02.580 Yeah, I just, I don't, I don't, yeah.
00:01:04.880 Yeah, I just, I don't think, yeah, they, they don't actually benefit,
00:01:08.860 because anything they can get in a marriage, they can get without being married.
00:01:11.800 Yeah.
00:01:13.240 Honest answer.
00:01:14.200 All right.
00:01:14.420 What do you think a man, what do you think a man can get out of marriage? 0.56
00:01:17.620 Well, I think they get a loyal woman. 0.99
00:01:19.220 I think they get a woman that is, no, if they choose right, they get a loyal woman.
00:01:28.840 Because, you know, our choices are down to us, and vice versa with men. 0.60
00:01:32.660 If a man chooses the wrong woman, then that's. 1.00
00:01:35.180 What is the right woman? 1.00
00:01:36.600 Wouldn't you say a woman under the age of. 1.00
00:01:39.820 No, I'm not going to say age.
00:01:41.500 Okay.
00:01:41.860 I'm not going to say age.
00:01:42.120 So what is the right woman? 1.00
00:01:43.420 Because some people.
00:01:44.220 No kids?
00:01:44.760 No kids?
00:01:46.060 No.
00:01:46.360 It depends, it depends, is the man, is the man divorced, or did he have a previous where
00:01:51.260 he had children as well, and now he's looking for something different?
00:01:55.880 Well, but, but the reason, the reason I'm saying is we know the body count stats.
00:02:00.380 If a girl slept with two people, it's like 50-50 on if she, if it will be a successful marriage. 1.00
00:02:07.380 If she slept with four people, it's like you maybe have a 20% chance of having a happy marriage. 1.00
00:02:11.660 So, so my question is, what does the right woman look like with these numbers? 0.99
00:02:16.940 Okay.
00:02:17.420 So the right woman is someone who's peaceful, who's got, got like, who's there for her man
00:02:22.440 when needed.
00:02:24.520 And how do you measure that?
00:02:25.960 How do you measure that?
00:02:26.800 Yeah.
00:02:27.000 How do you measure it?
00:02:27.820 You know, because men need help emotionally as well.
00:02:31.000 And I know a lot of men would say they don't, but I've been in long-term relationships.
00:02:34.140 They do.
00:02:34.980 They definitely do.
00:02:35.860 They definitely confide in their woman and need that. 1.00
00:02:42.540 So all I can say is when I was in a long-term relationship, I would be running around making
00:02:47.740 sure that when he gets in from work, that the house is peaceful.
00:02:51.480 So that would look like running a bath for him, making sure his food was done when he got
00:02:55.580 in, you know, all those kinds of things.
00:02:57.260 Okay.
00:02:58.660 But then mentioning that I wasn't married.
00:03:00.920 Yeah.
00:03:01.560 But I was living as if I was married.
00:03:03.280 I was playing that role.
00:03:04.520 But that's the question is, like, what can a guy get out of marriage that he couldn't
00:03:08.920 get from a girlfriend?
00:03:10.600 Because you can have a loyal girlfriend.
00:03:13.180 Yeah.
00:03:13.800 So when I was younger and obviously would have had the opportunity to get married, I didn't
00:03:21.360 really believe in the piece of paper.
00:03:23.840 I believed in loyalty.
00:03:25.560 I believed in, you know, I'm here and I'm not going anywhere.
00:03:28.400 But you could do a church marriage.
00:03:30.040 That's fine.
00:03:30.520 But I didn't believe in that.
00:03:32.980 I'm not talking about you.
00:03:34.520 I'm not talking about you.
00:03:35.540 Yeah, I know.
00:03:35.560 But what I'm saying is, it's hard to speak sometimes without basing it on yourself.
00:03:38.720 I think everyone's done that here so far.
00:03:40.580 It's the easiest way to speak on a subject.
00:03:43.900 That's like a female thing. 1.00
00:03:45.540 No.
00:03:45.980 Yeah, it is.
00:03:46.540 It's more of a, no, I'm saying it's much more of a, it's much more, no, it's much more
00:03:51.400 of a female.
00:03:52.180 No, because that was an individual question.
00:03:54.300 Well, where the second question is more general.
00:03:56.140 Women tend to interpret information more individually. 1.00
00:03:58.900 Where men will answer questions more, like logically, typically. 0.83
00:04:03.640 Yeah, because we have, there's benefits to each, there's benefits to each sex, that's
00:04:07.820 why we complement each other.
00:04:08.800 Which is, I'm not saying it's a bad thing.
00:04:10.940 That's what, I'm just, you're kind of arguing with me about it.
00:04:13.540 I'm just saying they're different.
00:04:14.720 But my question more is, like, what does a guy get out of marriage?
00:04:20.160 Like, what should he get out of?
00:04:21.060 I think those were good answers, though, the house peaceful.
00:04:23.440 Yeah.
00:04:23.480 Well, I think nothing then, because, you know, when the.
00:04:26.780 Yeah, because the girlfriend's messing up the game. 1.00
00:04:29.540 Yeah, but.
00:04:30.220 That's what it is.
00:04:31.020 Right.
00:04:32.700 Stop taking care of these men.
00:04:34.080 Girlfriend stopping wives. 1.00
00:04:35.720 I'm not, I'm not sure that's the conclusion.
00:04:38.720 Yeah, it is the conclusion.
00:04:40.560 All the boys are getting dumped.
00:04:41.760 I don't, wouldn't it be to offer more value?
00:04:45.920 No?
00:04:46.280 Okay.
00:04:46.880 That was that.
00:04:47.840 No?
00:04:48.420 Offer more value to the guys?
00:04:51.380 No?
00:04:51.960 No?
00:04:52.240 Okay, stilly me.
00:04:52.840 So the guy.
00:04:53.280 All right, next.
00:04:55.240 No, no, no.
00:04:56.140 Do you have anything else you want to add?
00:04:59.500 Yeah, I did have something, but I'll come back to it.
00:05:02.980 Okay.
00:05:03.380 Okay.
00:05:03.760 Thank you.
00:05:04.240 Go ahead.
00:05:05.520 Leading on from what you said as well, peaceful home.
00:05:08.480 Yeah.
00:05:09.480 But they do get the contract.
00:05:11.760 The promise, ultimately, with the marriage, which is different from the long-term relationship
00:05:17.020 where you're playing housewives.
00:05:19.800 I would say they get as well, right, okay, so they get the contract, right?
00:05:26.300 It's the promise.
00:05:27.640 The contract.
00:05:28.400 Yeah, because it comes with punishment, doesn't it?
00:05:31.560 Mm-hmm.
00:05:32.360 Yeah.
00:05:32.560 So that's what they get.
00:05:33.860 For the guy, yeah.
00:05:34.780 Yeah, wait, for who?
00:05:36.060 No, whoa, whoa.
00:05:37.200 For who?
00:05:38.260 No, no, not always.
00:05:39.740 That's not fair.
00:05:40.380 The contract.
00:05:40.660 The contract.
00:05:42.300 Yeah, no, it depends what's in the contract.
00:05:43.720 Yeah, absolutely what's in the contract, but that's what it is.
00:05:46.380 It's a promise.
00:05:46.920 Who typically gets child support, men or women?
00:05:50.940 It depends on what family you're growing up in, but most women probably get it, right? 1.00
00:05:55.780 I don't know.
00:05:56.720 So couldn't we argue that women actually get a reward for leaving? 1.00
00:06:00.840 No, but you can't.
00:06:02.340 Not if you don't have nothing to give.
00:06:03.900 Is it about the money?
00:06:04.640 Because it's most women that will bring up the children, so the women are having to bring 1.00
00:06:08.480 them up.
00:06:08.700 Right, but that's like a catch.
00:06:09.540 If the man was bringing them up.
00:06:10.820 That's a catch-22, though, because they're punishing traditional men.
00:06:14.800 If the man does what he's supposed to do, which is protect and provide for the family, then
00:06:20.360 they say, oh, gotcha, now you don't get the kids because you didn't spend enough time
00:06:24.800 with the kids.
00:06:25.440 But if he was at home with the children, they would say, why don't you have a job?
00:06:30.800 Yeah, you get penalized.
00:06:31.720 So you think that men would prefer to bring the children up? 0.99
00:06:35.140 I think that most men would prefer to bring the kids up. 0.94
00:06:39.060 I think most men would prefer to have the authority on the decision because men tend to be better 1.00
00:06:44.720 people, and they actually don't hold the kids.
00:06:47.540 They don't take away the kids out of spite.
00:06:49.920 That's something women do. 1.00
00:06:51.020 A lot.
00:06:51.720 Single father homes turn out significantly better than single mother homes. 0.99
00:06:56.680 This is true.
00:06:56.880 And if you believe in patriarchy, if you believe in men having authority in the household,
00:07:02.560 why would they not have authority over their children?
00:07:04.780 Can I just say, everyone said they wanted the leader and stuff.
00:07:08.100 Wouldn't the father be a better person to raise the kid if he's a leader?
00:07:11.120 Yeah, but does he have the time to raise him if he's the leader?
00:07:14.820 He's got to run all the money.
00:07:16.900 The point is men will still give the kid to the mother. 1.00
00:07:21.120 That's what women do. 1.00
00:07:23.260 They're the ones that keep the kid away from the dad.
00:07:25.360 Where did they learn this?
00:07:27.560 Where did they start teaching this?
00:07:29.220 Where did they start doing that?
00:07:31.320 When did women start doing that? 1.00
00:07:32.700 Where did they learn this from?
00:07:34.000 Where do they learn to keep the kids from the dad? 0.99
00:07:36.700 Each other.
00:07:37.840 They learn it from each other.
00:07:39.160 They tell each other, call someone up.
00:07:40.660 All you have to say is, he abused you, and then you get the kids.
00:07:42.820 Didn't you say to call your friend if you're having an argument?
00:07:48.040 Isn't that the same friend?
00:07:49.200 No, I did not say call your friend if you have an argument.
00:07:51.880 Absolutely not.
00:07:52.540 You don't tell people outside of your relationship about arguments.
00:07:55.360 I said if you have something that you're nagging about, when I hear nagging, I think that that's
00:07:59.960 something insignificant.
00:08:01.360 So for example, she gave the example of dishes.
00:08:03.940 If it's something like the dishes, ultimately, that's her problem.
00:08:07.960 She's letting dishes annoy you. 1.00
00:08:09.120 If they annoy you that much, do it yourself.
00:08:10.920 So you could go and call your mom or tell your friend, he didn't do the dishes and it
00:08:14.720 drove me nuts because that's her issue. 0.99
00:08:16.680 An argument is an issue within the relationship.
00:08:19.100 That shouldn't go outside of the relationship.
00:08:21.980 I would never, ever tell anyone to take issues that are within a relationship, outside of
00:08:26.680 a relationship, because that's wrong on all levels.
00:08:28.920 It fuels it more.