JustPearlyThings - Modern Woman Thinks Women Need a Single Phase

00:00:00.000 that's i think it's so important for a girl to go through her single season because i feel like

00:00:04.480 in that season of just singleness and like reminding yourself you have to reprogram your

00:00:08.860 mind of okay i don't i can't go for these guys anymore and even if you know in yourself i don't

00:00:13.540 want to go for these guys anymore any guy that comes to you that's not like this guy that you've

00:00:17.660 been going through like going for since school it's like that ick to you it's like oh like he's

00:00:22.620 a good man but do you really want that good man like you know when girls say he's a good man you're 0.99

00:00:26.220 like oh she don't really like him he's just good because you know he's cheating whatever but it's

00:00:30.500 that you have to literally reprogram your mind and say these are my morals and i have to like stick

00:00:35.180 with it for like a year so when that man comes did this happen to you where you like switched your

00:00:39.100 morals or like i feel like i'm still in the process of it because like even some people talk to me now

00:00:44.660 and it's like oh this is a good guy man like you know he's not like the other one but it's like

00:00:48.720 do you still do you actually want that how old are you again anyone 20 oh wow yeah how old did you

00:00:55.720 think i was like 25 oh yeah i'm 31 oh okay okay um so when did when did you switch this like

00:01:03.600 thinking like you went to church or something no no no i've been in church but i wasn't always that

00:01:09.220 i wasn't always like with god per se but it wasn't this is not to do with god this is to do with the

00:01:17.020 people that i've been with and um i just realized no like you you preferred the toxic ones like you

00:01:23.100 liked them a little better i think i went through a little like the stage like that yeah a little phase

00:01:28.900 but i feel like it's a young people thing now if you met a guy if you had to pick between the good

00:01:34.300 guy that's in your inbox or this toxic guy you're thinking of i can see it

00:01:37.660 i can see you're thinking you're thinking of someone i don't know who it is someone someone got you

00:01:43.520 which is okay every girl's had their heart broke it's like it happens to everyone

00:01:46.760 do you know what it is so it's like even if you want it you just have to tell yourself like stay

00:01:50.480 away distraction but your heart you you would still want the more toxic one i gotta reprogram

00:01:55.280 my heart i can't like no but but if we're being honest if we're being honest like honest honest i'll

00:02:00.160 go over it but in my i'm protecting my heart still i'll still have my barriers up because i'm like

00:02:03.960 he's not going to give you what you want he's not going to give you love he's going to be doing

00:02:07.340 all the things that you don't want and ended you up in that situation after after like this

00:02:12.020 relationship or whatever whatever it was did you go to church was that like your outlet

00:02:16.940 i was going to church regardless no but i mean is that you seem to have had and you could correct

00:02:24.120 me if i'm wrong some spiritual like journey maybe where you were praying more or like i don't know

00:02:29.820 what it was yeah that that's quite a long story um to be honest but um yeah if funny enough after a

00:02:37.840 relationship i did get more like um spiritual and like started talking to god more and like

00:02:43.860 started like getting my it's not spiritual it's like a church it's christian it's um no i don't i

00:02:51.720 don't either that's why i don't call my like i'm i'm christian like if i just need to say it easily

00:02:56.760 but i don't say just christian because i don't just say christian because i believe i'm just a woman of

00:03:02.540 god like i just because sometimes you can say christian and it's such a great area like

00:03:07.500 everyone's christian if you go to church if you listen to your pastor but i believe okay cool

00:03:12.400 i'll look into my scripture and actually have a connection with god but to go back so basically

00:03:16.700 though you're trying you're trying to now reprogram yourself to like the good guys

00:03:21.100 um it's not reprogram myself it's not reprogram to be honest i'm not my mind right now is not on

00:03:27.660 men like my mind right now is focusing on myself and when that person comes i'll know because you're

00:03:32.520 in a season of singleness yeah that sounds very cringe yeah i'm seeing that i just want to be

00:03:39.540 single and focus on myself right now but in the future you want the good guys in the future i want

00:03:44.960 the man that's right for me okay okay it sounded like you said good guys earlier you said you have

00:03:49.800 to reprogram your brain so i just so like not like the people that i was lacking before right yeah

00:03:55.020 so i'd imagine this is the good guys right yeah but not in the yeah good guys no it's not good

00:04:04.120 guys it's the right man for me that's it like just that you ever you ever noticed that when women talk

00:04:09.080 about or a lot of women talk about kind of these single season and taking time for themselves it's 1.00

00:04:13.780 never any kind of improvement that benefits their future partner no for me it is they're never like

00:04:19.300 it's never like i'm training i'm trying to develop qualities that my man was like i'm trying to be the

00:04:22.980 kind of woman it's always like i'm just letting myself be me you know because maybe it's a

00:04:26.880 carousel bro let's call it how it is you know they're all going through this thing in a season 0.98

00:04:34.680 like bro it's just a bunch of dick why should self-healing be about another person it's self-healing 0.96

00:04:45.080 but the point they're making is self-healing from what she's 21 years old no no but you can't this 0.98

00:04:50.320 generation is so different i'm so sorry the things that 21 year olds are going through love wise i feel

00:04:55.580 like it's crazy guys guys guys guys guys we have to do one at a time the point of this healing i would

00:05:00.420 imagine is to become a healthy person then have a healthy relationship right yeah but that healthy

00:05:04.460 relationship needs another person so when you're healing yourself you're also trying to develop

00:05:07.940 the qualities that the other person would like see men understand this right we don't go to the gym and

00:05:12.940 just decide i'm just going to be some gym dude now i want to do better my job i want to have better

00:05:17.240 fashion sense i want to work and i want to work on my anger management men understand this but i never

00:05:22.100 hear women talk about like the difficult things to me i define it as things that are actually take work 1.00

00:05:28.860 like when you talk about the men you want i never hear about things that take work like i'm gonna have

00:05:33.440 to learn how to have a conversation i'm gonna have to learn how to support him in a way that still

00:05:37.020 respects him i never hear about the difficult thing it's always what comes naturally it's always

00:05:41.440 accept who you are whatever you are all the time and wait for the world to come to my doorstep

00:05:46.800 no it's true because even in my last relationships i was realizing i was the one always making the

00:05:51.600 decisions or like in like literally all my past relationship well not much but yeah so i was

00:05:56.920 really i was the one making decisions and that's more of like a masculine trait yeah so what i had to

00:06:01.540 realize was how to have a conversation in a way that was more feminine like what you were saying 0.98

00:06:05.720 earlier like if the man was to come with his problems instead of me saying okay cool i'm the one

00:06:10.220 that has to fix it and think oh what's the answer to his problem more like you know what you got this

00:06:14.880 like i know you can do it like i believe in you you can do that and letting him come up with the

00:06:20.120 answer and be the man so i'm kind of working on things like that a bit more on like my replies and

00:06:25.260 stuff because my automatic response will be let me heal this man or da da da so i need to get out of

00:06:29.960 that before getting into another relationship can i ask you a question yeah have you considered that

00:06:33.960 finding a man that does not bring his problems to you and solves them for his self might be the best life

00:06:38.460 for you no 100 but i mean if he does come to me about a problem like he's not coming to me to fix

00:06:44.520 it he's just saying oh this happened not a thing where it's like oh this happened what do i do but

00:06:49.200 if it's like this happened but it's like as his woman he's just know he's just venting he's just

00:06:54.620 saying it but i'm my response should be you know what you got this that is fine but it's like if he

00:07:00.540 knows that from past experiences that the woman is going to be fix his problem fix his problem and he's

00:07:06.320 going to feel pity for um like she's going to feel pity for him she's going to want to stop but if

00:07:11.280 she if he knows that i as a woman i'm not going to feel pity for him he will feel comfortable to

00:07:16.760 like as many of you know i was just banned on tiktok and we are demonetized on a daily basis on this

00:07:23.720 platform if you want to help please consider sending a super thanks below every donation helps and it helps

00:07:31.120 make what we do possible

JustPearlyThings - April 19, 2023

Modern Woman Thinks Women Need a Single Phase

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