Modern Woman Thinks Women Need a Single Phase
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
226.48253
Summary
In this episode, we talk about how to reprogram your mind when it comes to choosing a good guy or a toxic one, and how to break the cycle of toxic men in your life. We also talk about what it means to be single and how important it is to have a single season of singleness.
Transcript
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that's i think it's so important for a girl to go through her single season because i feel like
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in that season of just singleness and like reminding yourself you have to reprogram your
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mind of okay i don't i can't go for these guys anymore and even if you know in yourself i don't
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want to go for these guys anymore any guy that comes to you that's not like this guy that you've
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been going through like going for since school it's like that ick to you it's like oh like he's
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a good man but do you really want that good man like you know when girls say he's a good man you're
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like oh she don't really like him he's just good because you know he's cheating whatever but it's
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that you have to literally reprogram your mind and say these are my morals and i have to like stick
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with it for like a year so when that man comes did this happen to you where you like switched your
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morals or like i feel like i'm still in the process of it because like even some people talk to me now
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and it's like oh this is a good guy man like you know he's not like the other one but it's like
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do you still do you actually want that how old are you again anyone 20 oh wow yeah how old did you
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think i was like 25 oh yeah i'm 31 oh okay okay um so when did when did you switch this like
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thinking like you went to church or something no no no i've been in church but i wasn't always that
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i wasn't always like with god per se but it wasn't this is not to do with god this is to do with the
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people that i've been with and um i just realized no like you you preferred the toxic ones like you
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liked them a little better i think i went through a little like the stage like that yeah a little phase
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but i feel like it's a young people thing now if you met a guy if you had to pick between the good
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guy that's in your inbox or this toxic guy you're thinking of i can see it
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i can see you're thinking you're thinking of someone i don't know who it is someone someone got you
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which is okay every girl's had their heart broke it's like it happens to everyone
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do you know what it is so it's like even if you want it you just have to tell yourself like stay
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away distraction but your heart you you would still want the more toxic one i gotta reprogram
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my heart i can't like no but but if we're being honest if we're being honest like honest honest i'll
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go over it but in my i'm protecting my heart still i'll still have my barriers up because i'm like
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he's not going to give you what you want he's not going to give you love he's going to be doing
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all the things that you don't want and ended you up in that situation after after like this
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relationship or whatever whatever it was did you go to church was that like your outlet
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i was going to church regardless no but i mean is that you seem to have had and you could correct
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me if i'm wrong some spiritual like journey maybe where you were praying more or like i don't know
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what it was yeah that that's quite a long story um to be honest but um yeah if funny enough after a
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relationship i did get more like um spiritual and like started talking to god more and like
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started like getting my it's not spiritual it's like a church it's christian it's um no i don't i
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don't either that's why i don't call my like i'm i'm christian like if i just need to say it easily
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but i don't say just christian because i don't just say christian because i believe i'm just a woman of
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god like i just because sometimes you can say christian and it's such a great area like
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everyone's christian if you go to church if you listen to your pastor but i believe okay cool
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i'll look into my scripture and actually have a connection with god but to go back so basically
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though you're trying you're trying to now reprogram yourself to like the good guys
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um it's not reprogram myself it's not reprogram to be honest i'm not my mind right now is not on
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men like my mind right now is focusing on myself and when that person comes i'll know because you're
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in a season of singleness yeah that sounds very cringe yeah i'm seeing that i just want to be
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single and focus on myself right now but in the future you want the good guys in the future i want
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the man that's right for me okay okay it sounded like you said good guys earlier you said you have
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to reprogram your brain so i just so like not like the people that i was lacking before right yeah
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so i'd imagine this is the good guys right yeah but not in the yeah good guys no it's not good
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guys it's the right man for me that's it like just that you ever you ever noticed that when women talk
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about or a lot of women talk about kind of these single season and taking time for themselves it's
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never any kind of improvement that benefits their future partner no for me it is they're never like
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it's never like i'm training i'm trying to develop qualities that my man was like i'm trying to be the
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kind of woman it's always like i'm just letting myself be me you know because maybe it's a
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carousel bro let's call it how it is you know they're all going through this thing in a season
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like bro it's just a bunch of dick why should self-healing be about another person it's self-healing
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but the point they're making is self-healing from what she's 21 years old no no but you can't this
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generation is so different i'm so sorry the things that 21 year olds are going through love wise i feel
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like it's crazy guys guys guys guys guys we have to do one at a time the point of this healing i would
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imagine is to become a healthy person then have a healthy relationship right yeah but that healthy
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relationship needs another person so when you're healing yourself you're also trying to develop
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the qualities that the other person would like see men understand this right we don't go to the gym and
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just decide i'm just going to be some gym dude now i want to do better my job i want to have better
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fashion sense i want to work and i want to work on my anger management men understand this but i never
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hear women talk about like the difficult things to me i define it as things that are actually take work
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like when you talk about the men you want i never hear about things that take work like i'm gonna have
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to learn how to have a conversation i'm gonna have to learn how to support him in a way that still
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respects him i never hear about the difficult thing it's always what comes naturally it's always
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accept who you are whatever you are all the time and wait for the world to come to my doorstep
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no it's true because even in my last relationships i was realizing i was the one always making the
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decisions or like in like literally all my past relationship well not much but yeah so i was
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really i was the one making decisions and that's more of like a masculine trait yeah so what i had to
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realize was how to have a conversation in a way that was more feminine like what you were saying
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earlier like if the man was to come with his problems instead of me saying okay cool i'm the one
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that has to fix it and think oh what's the answer to his problem more like you know what you got this
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like i know you can do it like i believe in you you can do that and letting him come up with the
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answer and be the man so i'm kind of working on things like that a bit more on like my replies and
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stuff because my automatic response will be let me heal this man or da da da so i need to get out of
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that before getting into another relationship can i ask you a question yeah have you considered that
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finding a man that does not bring his problems to you and solves them for his self might be the best life
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for you no 100 but i mean if he does come to me about a problem like he's not coming to me to fix
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it he's just saying oh this happened not a thing where it's like oh this happened what do i do but
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if it's like this happened but it's like as his woman he's just know he's just venting he's just
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saying it but i'm my response should be you know what you got this that is fine but it's like if he
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knows that from past experiences that the woman is going to be fix his problem fix his problem and he's
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going to feel pity for um like she's going to feel pity for him she's going to want to stop but if
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she if he knows that i as a woman i'm not going to feel pity for him he will feel comfortable to
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like as many of you know i was just banned on tiktok and we are demonetized on a daily basis on this
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