JustPearlyThings - October 07, 2023


Modern Woman UNHAPPY With Husband After 26-Year Marriage


Episode Stats


Length

7 minutes

Words per minute

194.77007

Word count

1,440

Sentence count

148

Harmful content

Misogyny

23

sentences flagged

Hate speech

9

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we talk about a woman who wants to leave her husband because he doesn't give her the emotional support she needs and wants, and how to deal with it. We also talk about when to leave a marriage and what to do about it.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 So to end, we have a Reddit story.
00:00:03.160 They ask us for advice.
00:00:04.240 So us out of the kindness of our heart.
00:00:06.880 She says, I think I want to leave my marriage,
00:00:08.880 but I don't know if what I'm feeling is real
00:00:11.600 or if I would be making a huge mistake.
00:00:13.880 How can I be sure I'm doing the right thing?
00:00:15.960 If I do decide to leave,
00:00:17.540 what can I do to make it easier on my husband?
00:00:19.820 I think I want to leave my husband of 26 years,
00:00:22.680 but don't know if I'm making a mistake
00:00:24.280 or how to go about doing it.
00:00:26.700 I, 48 female, have been married to my husband,
00:00:29.340 54 male for 26 years, together for 28.
00:00:33.660 We have two kids, 22 and eight.
00:00:35.860 I absolutely adore my kids.
00:00:38.180 They're amazing.
00:00:39.300 For a few years now, I have felt that I'm not happy
00:00:41.900 in the marriage and would prefer to be on my own.
00:00:44.260 There is no one else involved
00:00:45.420 and I have no desire to meet anyone new.
00:00:47.820 I was relatively young when we got married
00:00:50.020 and had our first child.
00:00:51.500 My husband is a nice man
00:00:52.940 and hasn't done anything bad or wrong,
00:00:55.200 but I have felt it for years
00:00:56.440 that he's not the one who I want to be with.
00:00:59.100 And it's not his fault.
00:01:00.840 He doesn't give me what I feel like I need
00:01:02.840 from a relationship.
00:01:04.340 I feel he doesn't emotionally support me,
00:01:06.640 doesn't understand me,
00:01:07.780 isn't interested in me,
00:01:08.880 doesn't listen to me,
00:01:10.180 doesn't spend time with me,
00:01:11.480 doesn't have any drive, et cetera.
00:01:13.500 Everything we do together
00:01:14.560 is instigated, arranged, and planned by me.
00:01:17.460 Holidays, days out, meeting friends,
00:01:19.460 birthdays, Christmas,
00:01:20.560 all he does is pay for it.
00:01:22.740 He spends most of his time
00:01:24.360 on his iPad or computer.
00:01:26.120 He doesn't entertain me.
00:01:27.300 I want to be happy.
00:01:30.520 I think this is...
00:01:31.760 She's obviously got to go.
00:01:33.060 This is a terrible life.
00:01:34.540 This is...
00:01:36.140 Oh my gosh.
00:01:37.600 They think I make this up
00:01:38.860 when I say women leave for no reason. 1.00
00:01:40.520 They think I make this up.
00:01:44.160 Oh my gosh.
00:01:48.260 I'm actually speechless,
00:01:50.140 to be honest.
00:01:50.460 Okay, first thing,
00:01:51.760 she says she's trying to go down
00:01:54.180 the victim route
00:01:54.780 of we were young
00:01:55.560 when we had kids.
00:01:56.660 Okay, so she's got a 22-year-old.
00:01:58.760 She was... 0.97
00:01:59.300 She's 48,
00:01:59.960 so she had kids at 26.
00:02:01.540 Not young,
00:02:02.300 so that's out the window.
00:02:03.920 She says that he doesn't do anything wrong
00:02:06.000 and, you know,
00:02:06.960 I don't want it to affect him.
00:02:08.600 So she loves him.
00:02:11.800 Otherwise,
00:02:12.280 she wouldn't really care about his feelings.
00:02:14.600 And obviously,
00:02:15.140 you're going to care about someone
00:02:16.240 after being with them for that time.
00:02:18.080 They've got two kids together.
00:02:19.820 Look, the main issue I have here,
00:02:21.980 there's two main issues.
00:02:23.200 The first one is
00:02:24.040 I have no desire to be with anyone else.
00:02:25.940 Bullshit.
00:02:27.300 Otherwise,
00:02:27.940 what do you mean by
00:02:28.820 I want to be happy?
00:02:30.100 Define what happiness looks like.
00:02:31.640 Second problem I have,
00:02:32.740 I want to be happy.
00:02:35.780 My biggest problem was
00:02:37.300 all he does is pay for it.
00:02:38.960 Yeah, yeah,
00:02:39.580 that's a big problem as well.
00:02:39.740 I'm like, really?
00:02:40.340 I mean,
00:02:41.080 you have to work to pay for it.
00:02:42.980 Yeah.
00:02:43.540 And why is it that hard to make...
00:02:46.020 Like, I understand
00:02:46.840 women want the men to make plans. 1.00
00:02:48.840 But like,
00:02:49.200 is it really the end of the world?
00:02:51.100 It's that whole thing
00:02:51.760 of emotional support again,
00:02:53.080 isn't it?
00:02:53.440 It's that women have this idea 1.00
00:02:55.180 that men are going to be able
00:02:56.260 to provide them
00:02:57.000 the emotional support
00:02:58.340 that women can provide. 0.99
00:03:00.420 But you need to understand
00:03:02.640 men aren't built like that.
00:03:04.360 Men generally aren't good
00:03:06.160 at emotional support.
00:03:07.720 They're not good
00:03:08.220 with emotional things.
00:03:09.660 Well, then how many emotions
00:03:10.820 can they keep up with?
00:03:12.360 Exactly.
00:03:13.280 I mean,
00:03:13.540 this chick just said 1.00
00:03:14.260 he did nothing wrong.
00:03:15.340 He doesn't...
00:03:15.760 This man...
00:03:16.220 Imagine.
00:03:17.120 She's blatantly said
00:03:18.040 there's nothing wrong.
00:03:18.620 Yeah.
00:03:19.020 Imagine this guy's just
00:03:20.300 like living his life.
00:03:21.300 He's like,
00:03:21.580 I have a great wife
00:03:22.480 of 26 years.
00:03:23.800 Two kids.
00:03:24.280 Life is good.
00:03:25.160 Yeah.
00:03:25.740 He's thinking
00:03:26.220 everything's fine.
00:03:27.680 He's like...
00:03:28.000 I bet she doesn't work. 1.00
00:03:29.000 I bet that she's just sat at home
00:03:31.380 on social media
00:03:32.600 seeing the Instagram lifestyle
00:03:34.160 and this is all just spewing.
00:03:36.000 And she feels entitled
00:03:37.340 to holidays,
00:03:38.440 days out,
00:03:39.060 meeting friends,
00:03:39.780 birthdays.
00:03:40.040 I'm like,
00:03:40.460 do you realize
00:03:40.960 what our ancestors
00:03:41.880 lived through
00:03:42.620 to get us here?
00:03:44.060 He doesn't...
00:03:44.740 Is he an entertainer?
00:03:46.260 Or did you want to go to a show?
00:03:47.400 He's supposed to entertain you
00:03:48.460 all the time?
00:03:48.880 He doesn't entertain me.
00:03:49.440 I think what we're seeing here
00:03:50.740 is a very bored woman. 0.89
00:03:53.400 We're seeing a very bored housewife 1.00
00:03:54.940 who doesn't...
00:03:55.560 So should she leave?
00:03:56.800 Absolutely not.
00:03:57.500 Go get a hobby.
00:03:58.240 Go join a group.
00:03:59.480 Start going to the gym.
00:04:00.380 Do something that's going
00:04:01.180 to occupy your mind.
00:04:02.760 Hey, maybe, you know,
00:04:04.340 women love to talk 1.00
00:04:05.260 about their problems.
00:04:05.960 Go to therapy.
00:04:06.760 Sit and talk to a therapist.
00:04:07.740 Oh no,
00:04:08.000 that'll make them worse.
00:04:09.220 You reckon?
00:04:09.600 I mean,
00:04:10.480 if she's sitting
00:04:11.120 speaking to a therapist,
00:04:12.120 at least she's not
00:04:12.500 giving her husband anything.
00:04:13.200 Maybe a guy therapist.
00:04:16.260 Oh, I don't think women 1.00
00:04:17.740 should be going
00:04:18.140 to women therapists anyway.
00:04:19.160 They just make you crazy.
00:04:20.880 So Lilith and Eve says,
00:04:22.980 leaving my marriage
00:04:24.020 is the best thing
00:04:24.840 I've ever done
00:04:25.440 for myself
00:04:26.020 and my mental health
00:04:27.080 and the best thing
00:04:28.120 I've ever done
00:04:28.680 for my relationship
00:04:29.500 with my son.
00:04:30.920 Your kids may be hurt
00:04:32.100 and sad,
00:04:32.900 but they'll see their mom
00:04:34.120 be her own person
00:04:35.140 and take charge
00:04:35.840 of her own life.
00:04:37.020 They'll have a mom 0.89
00:04:37.800 who cares about herself 0.53
00:04:38.800 so much she's willing
00:04:40.160 to do one of the hardest
00:04:41.180 things there is to do.
00:04:43.680 Can we highlight that?
00:04:45.380 Your kids may be hurt
00:04:46.800 and sad.
00:04:47.520 Yeah.
00:04:48.220 Okay.
00:04:49.120 This is like,
00:04:49.960 if I had to put this comment
00:04:51.120 as one thing,
00:04:51.860 it's called F them kids.
00:04:53.300 Yeah.
00:04:53.940 That's like,
00:04:54.620 basically,
00:04:55.120 this comment is,
00:04:56.040 yeah,
00:04:56.320 F them kids. 0.70
00:04:57.140 What awful woman. 1.00
00:04:58.720 They'll have a mom 0.89
00:04:59.940 who cares about herself 0.53
00:05:01.240 so much
00:05:02.080 she's willing to do
00:05:03.320 one of the hardest things
00:05:04.200 there is to do.
00:05:04.520 But it's back to,
00:05:05.240 it's back to the selfish.
00:05:06.380 I really think more than,
00:05:08.140 more than anything,
00:05:09.240 the biggest cancer in society
00:05:10.980 is like,
00:05:12.100 gynocentrism 0.81
00:05:13.280 and narcissism. 0.74
00:05:15.360 I think we just have
00:05:16.160 female narcissists
00:05:18.120 everywhere.
00:05:19.820 Well,
00:05:20.120 I think that says it all,
00:05:21.160 doesn't it?
00:05:21.560 They'll have a mom 0.89
00:05:22.220 who cares about herself 0.53
00:05:23.400 so much.
00:05:24.420 Okay,
00:05:24.720 so that's,
00:05:25.640 you think kids value that?
00:05:27.920 You think kids value
00:05:29.140 a selfish mother? 1.00
00:05:31.460 It's just,
00:05:32.100 oh my God,
00:05:32.680 I can't understand it.
00:05:34.060 Also,
00:05:34.740 it's just incorrect.
00:05:37.200 But the easiest thing to do
00:05:39.200 is to leave.
00:05:41.320 So how would anyone value
00:05:43.000 the easiest thing to do?
00:05:44.400 We value the things
00:05:45.280 that are hard to do in life
00:05:46.340 and it's hard to stick around.
00:05:48.360 A 30 year,
00:05:49.300 40,
00:05:49.700 50 year marriage
00:05:50.500 is bloody hard.
00:05:52.840 That's why we see it
00:05:53.920 and value it so much.
00:05:55.040 So actually,
00:05:56.040 you've done the easiest,
00:05:58.060 laziest thing.
00:05:59.240 And they want to be rewarded.
00:06:00.540 That's why it's like,
00:06:01.380 we celebrate single moms,
00:06:03.580 fat chicks and whores. 1.00
00:06:04.940 Yeah.
00:06:05.460 Like, yeah,
00:06:05.900 women just love 1.00
00:06:06.840 doing the easy thing.
00:06:07.840 Men never do that.
00:06:08.900 They never celebrate
00:06:09.940 the easy thing.
00:06:11.600 No.
00:06:11.940 They never do.
00:06:12.940 No.
00:06:13.780 But, you know,
00:06:14.740 maybe I'm just crazy
00:06:16.560 and a big doomer
00:06:17.500 as usual.
00:06:18.520 Oh yeah.
00:06:18.940 Big doomer,
00:06:19.960 super mean.
00:06:22.040 Right.
00:06:22.300 Do you get misogyny?
00:06:23.580 Do you get like
00:06:24.100 the hatred vibes from me?
00:06:25.680 That's what I keep getting
00:06:26.420 on the internet.
00:06:27.520 I just hate all women. 1.00
00:06:29.060 Yeah,
00:06:29.280 I just hate her.
00:06:30.060 She absolutely despises me.
00:06:32.080 Hatred.
00:06:32.960 I don't have to cry.
00:06:34.120 Every woman I meet
00:06:35.160 is just aah.
00:06:36.320 Yeah.
00:06:37.500 Okay, guys.
00:06:38.200 Make sure you like the video.
00:06:39.380 Let's get this video
00:06:40.240 to 2,000 likes.
00:06:41.880 That's the most important metric.
00:06:43.120 Make sure you go subscribe
00:06:44.000 to Christine's channel.
00:06:44.920 Tell them a little-
00:06:45.500 Yeah, come check out
00:06:45.760 my YouTube channel.
00:06:47.580 Christine Grace Smith.
00:06:48.540 You can find me
00:06:49.380 on Instagram,
00:06:50.940 YouTube,
00:06:51.760 and on Twitter as well.
00:06:53.500 And yeah,
00:06:54.320 I basically look at
00:06:55.540 the state of society
00:06:57.280 and I try and present
00:06:59.700 the side to things
00:07:01.000 that isn't often shown
00:07:02.060 in the media.
00:07:02.920 So what I see
00:07:04.120 is common sense,
00:07:05.200 but common sense
00:07:05.920 is no longer
00:07:07.380 very common in the world.
00:07:08.420 So I'm trying to,
00:07:09.200 I'm trying to keep it
00:07:10.440 going for people.
00:07:11.220 I'm trying to keep
00:07:12.040 common sense a thing.
00:07:14.200 I'm trying to keep
00:07:14.700 it common,
00:07:15.280 but hey,
00:07:16.260 you'll only know
00:07:16.860 if you go check it out.
00:07:17.980 So I'll see you over there.
00:07:19.140 All right, guys.
00:07:19.900 Like the video
00:07:20.460 on your way out,
00:07:21.200 subscribe to the channel,
00:07:22.240 and I'll talk to you
00:07:22.820 next time.