JustPearlyThings - Modern Woman Who is Attracted to Liars

00:00:00.000 Coming up next.

00:00:00.900 I seem to find myself in the position

00:00:03.480 where I'm always seen to be the side bitch.

00:00:05.700 Side bitch.

00:00:07.220 All the time.

00:00:09.740 And I think that's just what annoys me.

00:00:12.720 You think you give a side chick vibes?

00:00:14.620 Yeah, I just don't seem to find someone that just wants...

00:00:17.260 But do you know he's in a relationship when you meet him?

00:00:19.600 No, otherwise I wouldn't go there.

00:00:21.420 Oh, OK, that's different.

00:00:23.020 Why do you think they put you in that box?

00:00:25.460 I think because I don't necessarily come...

00:00:28.480 I don't come across like I want to have something serious.

00:00:33.620 OK.

00:00:34.100 So as much as I do, I'm, like, in between

00:00:36.900 because I've had bad experiences before,

00:00:39.480 which has made me feel like I don't want no one to live with me,

00:00:42.440 I don't want this, don't want that.

00:00:44.660 But then it comes to I do feel lonely

00:00:46.780 and I would want that intimacy and that love from the right person.

00:00:50.980 Well, I guess you're a pretty girl, you have a million options.

00:00:53.380 There's many men that will be honest with you.

00:00:55.240 But it's like you picked a liar.

00:00:56.240 No, I don't know.

00:00:57.620 I just feel like they, as you said, make more funny thoughts.

00:01:01.500 It's like the liars, the lies make you want them.

00:01:05.560 You're attracted to the lies.

00:01:07.020 Good for you.

00:01:08.620 Good for you.

00:01:10.340 Who wins after breakups, men or women?

00:01:14.260 So Tom Brady and Giselle...

00:01:16.260 I'm sorry, guys.

00:01:17.340 I can never say her last name.

00:01:18.780 Boonshin officially divorced on October 28th, 2022.

00:01:22.140 Legal teams from both say that an ironclad prenup agreement was put in place before they were married in 2009,

00:01:29.540 making the financial aspects of the divorce relatively smooth.

00:01:33.900 What has happened since then and why are they both in the new sense?

00:01:39.220 Giselle has been linked with her children's jujitsu instructor, Jomaine Valentine, a 42-year-old Brazilian man,

00:01:46.580 with some speculating that they have had something going on before the official divorce.

00:01:51.740 He started appearing on Giselle's social media around February, showing Giselle basic techniques on Instagram.

00:01:58.180 He has also been seen traveling with Giselle and the children since the beginning of the year.

00:02:03.320 Tom Brady, 45, officially confirmed that he is dating Veronica Rezak, a 26-year-old Slovakian model with over 3.2 million Instagram followers.

00:02:14.240 She has attended a few of his games and has taken photographs wearing his jersey.

00:02:19.760 Gerard Peek and Shakira were in a relationship from 2011 to 2022,

00:02:24.300 having two children during that time. After breaking up in 2022,

00:02:29.740 Gerard Peek, 36 years old, has been confirmed to be in a relationship with 23-year-old Clara Chia Marti.

00:02:38.460 Shakira has moved from Spain to her family's home in Miami, Florida,

00:02:42.000 and has been linked to her 24-year-old surfing instructor.

00:02:45.320 Custody of the children is still pending.

00:02:48.240 This begs the question, who normally wins after high-profile breakups, men or women?

00:02:54.300 So start here and then go around.

00:02:59.260 Men or women? Actually, I think I managed to hear what other people got to say first.

00:03:04.160 I can't lie.

00:03:04.960 Okay, who wants anyone opinionated and want to start?

00:03:08.340 Go on.

00:03:09.120 It just depends on how, like, what the situation is.

00:03:12.600 So if there's obviously kids involved, if obviously the prenup.

00:03:17.920 If you had to pick one, who typically wins in high-profile breakups?

00:03:21.660 Oh, um, I'd say men do.

00:03:27.320 Okay.

00:03:27.920 Yeah.

00:03:28.680 Because it's like, no matter what, the publicity just sort of, like, dies down on them,

00:03:34.560 whereas women, they get it a lot more.

00:03:38.100 That makes sense.

00:03:40.260 No.

00:03:40.400 I don't know.

00:03:40.920 So how do I explain it?

00:03:44.360 So men have more publicity after?

00:03:46.960 They don't have as much.

00:03:47.740 No, they get publicity, but it's not as much as, like, it wouldn't go as long as what the

00:03:55.440 woman's publicity would go on for, if that makes sense.

00:03:58.920 So, like, there would be more paparazzi watching the woman, her every move, who she's dealt

00:04:05.180 with, and then sort of, like, you'd hear, once in a blue moon, if the man decides to

00:04:09.760 leave and show off that he's got a new woman, then they would catch him.

00:04:13.460 But it's, like, a one-off story, and then that's it.

00:04:17.860 Bye.

00:04:18.760 That's what I see.

00:04:19.440 So you would dictate who wins and loses after the breakup by who has less publicity?

00:04:24.680 Yeah, because all publicities can be good, but it comes with bad as well, a lot of negative.

00:04:32.200 Okay.

00:04:33.300 I think after a high-profile breakup, right, the women, the outlook from the society that

00:04:40.260 they get is kind of crazy.

00:04:41.860 I think they get told that they're not good for moving on and finding someone else.

00:04:47.060 So, and also, it's mostly men in high-profile breakups that money is associated with as

00:04:55.380 well.

00:04:55.960 So, as soon as the female goes and finds another partner, it's always, like, she didn't bother

00:05:01.680 in the relationship.

00:05:02.560 Do you get it?

00:05:03.720 And that's what I think.

00:05:05.780 Do you think that's true?

00:05:07.060 If a woman's moving from relationship to relationship to relationship, then maybe she isn't the best

00:05:11.700 fit or the best candidate for a relationship?

00:05:14.420 I think a woman that moves from relationship to relationship knows what she wants in a

00:05:19.000 relationship, because I'm going to tell you, not a lot of people out there, like, are going

00:05:22.340 to be what you want them to be.

00:05:23.980 So, move, I would say personally, move around as much as you want until you find the right

00:05:27.860 one.

00:05:28.380 But couldn't you figure that out before a relationship, like, by asking certain questions?

00:05:33.620 Some things you have to live to actually know, because certain people, they know stuff,

00:05:38.440 but in order how they apply it practically is completely different.

00:05:42.220 You can know so much, but once you get into a relationship, it's way more sacrifices, way

00:05:47.680 more compromisation that gets involved that I think is important.

00:05:53.600 And if you need to move around as much relationship as you need to, to get that security to finally

00:05:59.280 understand that these situations won't work for you, then that's what you might need to

00:06:03.220 do.

00:06:03.520 And I think that women do get looked weirdly for that, but it's what you've got to do.

00:06:08.180 At the end of the day, men do it too.

00:06:09.700 Do you think a guy is a good candidate for a relationship if he's constantly having failed

00:06:14.080 situationships with women?

00:06:16.440 Like, if he's maybe in a two-year span dated, like, 20 girls, do you think it's likely he's

00:06:21.640 going to date you?

00:06:23.960 Sorry.

00:06:24.240 I mean, if I know a man has dated 20 women and wanted to come date me, I'd kind of be

00:06:28.580 like, hmm.

00:06:30.220 But then, it kind of contradicts what I just said.

00:06:33.140 But at the same time, as a man, if a woman has gone through 30 men and came up to me and

00:06:37.280 said, I want to have a relationship with you, I'd kind of be like, what's up?

00:06:40.580 You know?

00:06:41.200 And also, as much as I said, compromisation is required.

00:06:44.340 There are stuff you have to learn and go through.

00:06:46.820 Sometimes you have to stick in a relationship for you to actually make stuff work.

00:06:49.720 It doesn't necessarily mean moving on to other ones.

00:06:51.460 But just because you moved on from relationship to relationship, it doesn't mean you're crazy.

00:06:57.460 So, I'm just saying.

00:07:00.820 Okay, go ahead.

00:07:01.640 Go ahead.

00:07:03.340 Either of you.

00:07:04.220 You go ahead.

00:07:05.280 Sorry.

00:07:06.020 Go, go, go, go.

00:07:07.260 So, is this question reserved specifically for high-profile relationships or just relationships

00:07:12.920 in general?

00:07:13.260 Why don't you tell me your opinion on both high-profile and regular?

00:07:15.880 Yeah, sure.

00:07:16.340 So, high-profile, I think, is a little bit worse.

00:07:18.520 Because, say with, also can't pronounce her name, Giselle Bundchen, I think that's how

00:07:23.500 you say it.

00:07:24.720 Tom Brady, he's probably going to be one of the most wealthy, top 10% type of men that

00:07:31.580 she'll ever be with.

00:07:32.500 And because women, we're high pergamous by nature, we typically can't date down.

00:07:38.280 And she would struggle to find someone, especially at her age now that she has children, unfortunately,

00:07:45.340 that would give her what she wants, which would probably be marriage.

00:07:50.160 So, I think that applies to most high-profile relationships because they have some form of

00:07:54.000 celebrity status.

00:07:55.700 Therefore, their partners will probably be a notch ahead of them.

00:07:59.280 Whereas for normal people like us, I think women generally, unfortunately, still do lose

00:08:07.460 in a break-up.

00:08:09.800 In the short term, they're winning because they can find a simp to buy them a bag and

00:08:15.260 take them places.

00:08:17.020 They can find men to fit different roles of a partner.

00:08:19.460 But in the long term, they would lose because they'll struggle to actually find someone

00:08:24.900 who wants to be with them and vice versa.

00:08:27.920 And they'll probably get to, say, 35, no children because they've been playing in the

00:08:30.940 field.

00:08:31.920 Whereas if they stayed in the relationship, providing it's not abusive, you know, the

00:08:35.920 exceptions to the rule, and they tried to make it work, it probably could have been

00:08:39.880 happier in the long term.

00:08:43.880 I don't necessarily think that a break-up means that you're going to start sleeping

00:08:47.920 around, start dating around.

00:08:49.640 I think some women do wait.

00:08:51.760 I find men do move on pretty quick and they seem to not be as picky.

00:08:59.520 I do think that they move on a bit quicker.

00:09:02.220 I don't know.

00:09:03.920 I'm unsure of my opinion because there's so many different variables.

00:09:07.240 Like, do they have kids?

00:09:09.240 Are they married?

00:09:10.860 Were they together for a long time?

00:09:12.700 I'm just saying if there's 100 high-profile break-ups, who typically wins?

00:09:17.420 Who typically wins, men or women?

00:09:19.700 Can it be none of them?

00:09:21.040 Because there's so much drama around it?

00:09:23.060 No, you have to pick one.

00:09:23.880 The question takes one.

00:09:24.920 Oh, okay.

00:09:28.240 I think the woman.

00:09:29.600 The woman?

00:09:30.140 Yeah.

00:09:30.720 Tell me why.

00:09:31.440 Because, as I said, the man moves on very quick and he's not as picky.

00:09:36.600 And he can seem to get a lot younger partner than a woman would if a woman's had

00:09:43.460 children, then there's that too.

00:09:46.200 So then what did the women lose?

00:09:48.980 What did the women lose?

00:09:50.200 Yeah, it seems like you're saying the man could get like a younger.

00:09:52.680 What I'm saying is that they can't move on.

00:09:55.380 Maybe they want a relationship after that breakup and it's harder for them because they

00:09:59.920 have children maybe.

00:10:01.480 And then there's more to consider.

00:10:03.120 It's not just black and white.

00:10:04.320 Even though the man has children as well, when they move on, that doesn't seem to hinder

00:10:09.400 their dating experience.

00:10:10.660 They can still date and move on and do what they want.

00:10:13.720 It doesn't stop that.

00:10:16.000 So it's just based on what you said, it sounds like you're saying that the women lose and

00:10:20.060 the men win.

00:10:21.120 Yeah.

00:10:21.460 Okay.

00:10:22.080 Okay.

00:10:22.320 You said the opposite when you started.

00:10:24.080 I thought I said, no, I thought I said that the women lose.

00:10:28.060 Am I crazy?

00:10:29.440 Maybe, maybe.

00:10:30.040 I thought I said the women lose.

00:10:31.340 Maybe you did.

00:10:32.180 Okay.

00:10:32.820 Go ahead.

00:10:34.400 I think it's, it is a difficult one.

00:10:36.280 It is a broad one.

00:10:37.320 I think if you're looking at high profile celebrity status and breakups, I think generally depending

00:10:46.660 on how they break up, I think it depicts on how it would end up, but probably women would

00:10:52.940 lose in terms of emotionally, I think, especially if there's children as well, pretty much in

00:10:59.460 terms of men, I don't think they're emotionally attached as much as women.

00:11:04.720 I think women tend to be more emotionally attached than men.

00:11:07.760 So in a breakup, I think when women break up, they break up way before they actually physically

00:11:14.780 break up with a man.

00:11:15.660 Whereas a man, I think they're quite flippant and they will do it spur of the moment.

00:11:20.620 It's how they're feeling.

00:11:21.440 So I think in terms of who generally wins, I would probably say men in that aspect, because

00:11:28.000 I feel like they're mentally there way before women are probably there.

00:11:32.840 Okay.

00:11:33.580 What do you think?

00:11:36.720 See, I think the opposite to you.

00:11:38.780 I feel like a woman knows in her head that she's going to break up with a guy before she's

00:11:45.540 actually going to do it.

00:11:46.680 Yeah.

00:11:46.820 Like the other way around.

00:11:48.600 I think that's what she said.

00:11:49.800 I think that's what I said.

00:11:50.380 Oh, yeah.

00:11:51.260 You just repeated exactly what she said.

00:11:53.700 My bad.

00:11:54.240 Um, so yeah, I feel like when it comes to actually breaking up, I feel like women are more prepared

00:12:01.760 for that actually happening that I don't think men think to, especially if they're comfortable

00:12:07.460 in the relationship.

00:12:09.760 They're not really thinking about it too tough.

00:12:14.060 So I would say maybe men lose more because I just think they're going to, they don't see

00:12:20.680 it coming as often.

00:12:22.240 But you think men are more hurt after breakups and women, like women move on quicker.

00:12:25.960 Yeah.

00:12:26.340 Okay.

00:12:27.080 Or like they start that process before.

00:12:30.380 Yeah.

00:12:30.460 Because by the time the woman does it, she's been thinking about it for six months.

00:12:33.740 What do you think about dating options after?

00:12:35.940 Do you think, who do you think typically is more dating options after a relationship, men

00:12:39.260 or women?

00:12:43.400 I think it depends on the man or the woman.

00:12:46.620 Like.

00:12:46.660 So in high profile cases, um, again, I think it depends on the, if you had to pick one,

00:13:05.420 maybe men in high profile cases.

00:13:09.580 Cause I think for a high profile man, you'll have more women wanting to do whatever for you

00:13:16.100 than the other way around.

00:13:18.200 Auntie, what do you think?

00:13:21.820 At first I was going to say, before you brought the sexism into it, I was going to say the

00:13:26.340 person with the most money wins initially cause they're out of it.

00:13:32.360 But then the women, right.

00:13:34.180 Then if it's the man and he's got most money and they split up, then the woman might think

00:13:38.180 she's winning because she gets like money and the kids and whatever.

00:13:43.940 But then she's.

00:13:46.100 Less attractive to the outside world.

00:13:50.560 So she might have thought she's winning.

00:13:52.400 She might think she's won initially.

00:13:55.060 But then I think the men in the end win, cause they can get any woman out there.

00:13:58.660 They're the one younger that looks a whole lot better than the old bag that they've left.

00:14:02.340 So, you know, all the stretch marks and everything is gone.

00:14:06.540 Cause when you look at all of those, whoever had the most money got someone younger.

00:14:11.140 And even though their partner's gone and thought, well, yeah, like, um, what do you call it?

00:14:18.420 The, the guy, the perfume, the aftershave guy, what's his name?

00:14:21.840 The one you just mentioned.

00:14:22.760 Tom Brady?

00:14:23.680 Yeah.

00:14:24.140 That's him.

00:14:25.120 The aftershave guy?

00:14:26.100 I don't know.

00:14:26.600 They're an aftershave name like that or something.

00:14:29.400 You're thinking of something forward.

00:14:30.900 Oh, sorry.

00:14:31.540 See, I don't know what you're saying.

00:14:33.040 I don't know what you're saying.

00:14:34.100 Okay.

00:14:34.880 I know it's something to do with sports, but he split up and she's gone and she's got this guy.

00:14:40.980 So when they said about women, I find that in the public eye, sometimes the women move on faster.

00:14:45.280 Cause the men are less cautious cause they've lost a lot of money.

00:14:47.240 So they're not moving on fast, but afterwards they can get a younger person.

00:14:51.600 So the women would go out there and they would say, oh, we're going to get married again.

00:14:54.420 And we're going to get hooked up.

00:14:55.380 We're going to settle down.

00:14:56.520 And the men, they just go out there and get a young lady and play the field because they can.

00:14:59.300 So the women might lose out, you know, the men lose out more financially, but in the long run, of course, they got lucky.

00:15:07.340 They can go and get any young bird that they want.

00:15:09.540 Cause when you're a mature man and you've got money, you're attractive.

00:15:12.680 Unlike the women out there that got money because they don't look all that, all the plastic surgery and stuff that they need to keep up their looks.

00:15:21.300 But men just work out and they still look good.

00:15:23.820 Can I say something?

00:15:26.140 Tom Brady.

00:15:26.780 So if you've specified it's a high profile breakup, then I'm guessing we're talking about money here most of the time.

00:15:31.320 I'm talking about popularity.

00:15:32.940 Yeah.

00:15:34.320 Can I ask when they actually got divorced?

00:15:36.940 Do you know when?

00:15:39.200 Officially October, 2022.

00:15:41.800 Okay.

00:15:42.680 Okay.

00:15:43.240 Right.

00:15:43.700 Cause I was going to say, cause as an athlete, Tom Brady's spotlight, the reason why he's in spotlight is always going to constantly change.

00:15:50.780 Like when he, when he said he was going to retire, the spotlight was on just retiring.

00:15:56.220 Ain't nobody mentioned about him breaking up.

00:15:58.820 But.

00:15:59.880 I don't know.

00:16:00.360 It was all over the, like my YouTube feed.

00:16:02.940 Yeah.

00:16:03.240 Like it was, it was just on, um, right.

00:16:05.140 Megyn Kelly just did a special on it.

00:16:07.000 Yeah.

00:16:07.240 Right.

00:16:07.460 So I think my main part, so what I'm trying to say here is that the spotlight as an athlete for Tom Brady is going to change constantly.

00:16:12.360 So people are going to eventually forget that he's been divorced if he moves on with another person.

00:16:18.200 So I think for the female, it's more so like she's the one that broke up with Tom Brady.

00:16:22.680 It's such a big deal.

00:16:24.160 And I think the hate that's going to come for the women is more than it is for the men.

00:16:28.540 Just considering the fact that he's such a high profile athlete.

00:16:30.620 Would you say in society, men are valued more for what they build, where women are more valued for the relationships they can keep?

00:16:37.820 A hundred percent.

00:16:39.080 A hundred percent.

00:16:40.100 Cause Tom Brady can now do something crazy and invest in this many stuff.

00:16:44.240 Invest like a billion dollar company.

00:16:45.880 Maybe that's what's going to be.

00:16:47.460 That's what he's going to be in the spotlight for.

00:16:48.920 Or it's like Elon Musk.

00:16:50.100 I mean, how many baby mothers does he have?

00:16:52.220 But no one.

00:16:54.100 Each to their own, isn't it?

00:16:55.280 But no one really talks about it.

00:16:57.140 But if the roles were reversed and it was a woman and she had the same company, but she had like three, I don't know how many he has, but like three, four baby fathers.

00:17:05.160 People would still look at her funny, no matter how successful she is.

00:17:08.080 It's going to be long for her.

00:17:09.160 And that's just how it is, unfortunately.

00:17:12.420 Have any of you ever looked at an ex's Instagram or Facebook to see how they're doing after a breakup?

00:17:19.660 Yeah.

00:17:19.860 All the time.

00:17:20.620 Has anyone ever done that?

00:17:23.700 Anyone?

00:17:25.460 Two?

00:17:26.060 Okay.

00:17:26.460 So the majority.

00:17:27.260 Oh, two.

00:17:27.860 What are you?

00:17:28.340 What are you?

00:17:28.780 I shouldn't put my hand up really.

00:17:30.040 Cause nobody I've been out of the done Facebook.

00:17:32.040 Why are you half?

00:17:34.300 Huh?

00:17:35.020 I was like, why are you half raising your hand?

00:17:36.500 Cause I don't know if I should say too much.

00:17:38.100 I'm joking.

00:17:39.120 I'm joking.

00:17:39.520 Anybody that's watching, I'm joking.

00:17:40.940 I promise.

00:17:42.180 I think you promise.

00:17:43.560 But, um, yeah, I haven't.

00:17:45.580 Do you guys get mad if the girl you feel like is prettier than you or better looking?

00:17:50.220 Not just happy.

00:17:51.680 You're happy for them?

00:17:52.860 Good for you.

00:17:53.640 I feel like for me personally, it depends on how soon after.

00:17:57.500 Yeah.

00:17:58.160 Break up.

00:17:58.740 Yeah.

00:17:59.080 So how, how soon would, would piss you off versus how soon would make you happy for them?

00:18:04.940 After she's moved on.

00:18:06.340 Yeah.

00:18:07.980 If I haven't moved on, you can't.

00:18:10.980 Or you can, just not someone better looking than me.

00:18:15.580 Does it depend on the ex too?

00:18:18.240 Like how much you liked the ex, whether you're happy for them or mad?

00:18:21.440 No, no, just happy to move on.

00:18:24.740 So I, I kind of look at life as lessons.

00:18:27.500 So for me not to be with someone, I mean, it's taken me a while to get here to be fair,

00:18:31.720 but it's my stance now.

00:18:33.360 It wasn't previously, possibly maybe before, but I think everyone, there's a reason behind

00:18:39.960 everything and a why.

00:18:41.140 And I think if we're not meant to be together, then we're not meant to be together.

00:18:46.020 Be happy.

00:18:47.180 Good luck to the next person.

00:18:49.640 I mean, I'm still kind of mad.

00:18:51.060 I mean, I don't wish you the best.

00:18:53.720 It's taken me a long while to get here, but yeah, I just think, yeah.

00:18:57.560 I don't think that at all.

00:18:59.880 I think if it's a bad breakup, you think, you see him with somebody else, you think,

00:19:03.280 yeah, she, I'm glad she's got you.

00:19:04.900 I ain't got you.

00:19:05.320 I was going to say the same.

00:19:07.880 You're someone else's problem now.

00:19:08.800 I was going to say the same.

00:19:10.200 It works both ways.

00:19:11.360 But then if it was a good breakup, you know, you just spit, you just spit to yourself.

00:19:16.300 I've got you there.

00:19:17.340 You deserve her.

00:19:18.400 Because she ain't going to be as good as me, but well done.

00:19:21.680 Because women are bitches and they're always going to say things like that anyway.

00:19:24.100 You're not going to say you're going to be happy for someone you just spit out with them.

00:19:26.280 Come on.

00:19:26.760 But is a bad breakup better than a good one?

00:19:29.540 I don't know.

00:19:30.380 Is it bad?

00:19:30.840 What do you mean?

00:19:31.300 Is it bad?

00:19:31.980 Like, if I, if I was to break up with someone, there's either two ways that I can break up.

00:19:35.960 One, we have like the most craziest fight and I say, fuck you.

00:19:39.220 And I leave.

00:19:40.440 Or it could be, right, we're going to sit down and talk.

00:19:42.620 We're going to figure this out.

00:19:43.320 Or why it didn't work out.

00:19:44.440 But at the end of the day, I just don't want to be with you.

00:19:46.300 And it's both, on both parties, it's the same.

00:19:48.460 What's going to help me?

00:19:49.280 Like, in which circumstance am I going to be like, yeah, you know what?

00:19:52.240 If you moved on to another girl, I'll be like, yeah, good for you.

00:19:55.040 Do you get it?

00:19:55.640 Because either way, if, if we end up in a fight and you left, I'll be like, good for you.

00:20:00.420 So which would you prefer?

00:20:01.660 The bad breakup or the?

00:20:03.800 I think I prefer amicable.

00:20:06.760 Okay.

00:20:07.020 Sit down and talk.

00:20:08.960 Like, that's what I'd prefer anyway.

00:20:10.900 I don't know, sometimes if it's a bad breakup, it's just like, it makes you get over it faster.

00:20:15.680 You think so?

00:20:16.360 That's why I'd prefer the bad ones, because it's just like, done and out of the way.

00:20:20.100 I mean, it's like, you don't, because you don't want to deal with the drama of it.

00:20:23.320 But at the same time, then you're just over it.

00:20:26.280 You've got things to say.

00:20:27.760 Oh, no, no, no, what's a bad breakup?

00:20:29.260 What entails a bad breakup?

00:20:30.440 It sounds all crazy.

00:20:31.700 Can I hear what everybody's, what's your worst breakup ever been like?

00:20:35.840 Because it sounds like you's out there doing something.

00:20:37.900 It's crazy.

00:20:39.320 My ex broke into my flat after I ended it, I think two months after I ended it, he broke

00:20:44.000 into my flat and hid in my wardrobe.

00:20:45.920 Oh, my God.

00:20:46.940 Wow.

00:20:47.580 Stop waiting.

00:20:48.580 Wow.

00:20:50.720 All right, so wait, okay, okay.

00:20:52.840 Is this the end of it?

00:20:53.840 She spoke.

00:20:54.720 Oh, she...

00:20:55.120 You're looking over there, wasn't it?

00:20:56.640 No, I'm watching you.

00:20:58.280 Yeah, I'm watching.

00:20:59.000 Okay, wait, so, so, okay.

00:21:01.360 Wait, what?

00:21:01.860 Who broke up with you?

00:21:03.180 I, so, it was quite bad.

00:21:05.980 I ended it with him, but he had nowhere to go, and I said, oh, I will support you.

00:21:10.120 So, you lived to get...

00:21:10.940 Was he a bum?

00:21:12.580 Was he living with you?

00:21:13.740 Yeah.

00:21:14.540 I was paying the rent.

00:21:15.840 Okay, okay, so...

00:21:16.780 I should just put clown on for it.

00:21:19.160 Was he hot?

00:21:21.020 How tall was he?

00:21:22.240 A bit taller.

00:21:23.740 How tall?

00:21:24.520 Just a couple of inches.

00:21:25.040 You don't say that, Pearl.

00:21:26.260 You say, was he good in bed?

00:21:27.380 I was better in bed.

00:21:30.860 I was better in bed.

00:21:32.140 No wonder he broke in.

00:21:35.520 Okay, okay, so, you break up with him, then what happened?

00:21:38.740 So, I supported him through the breakup, obviously, so he could get his own place,

00:21:44.140 because I knew if I kicked him out, he'd turn back up on my doorstep.

00:21:48.020 Don't want that.

00:21:48.880 So, he moved out.

00:21:50.940 Everything was fine.

00:21:51.740 I was even praying to God, like, please, just let this go nicely.

00:21:55.820 He left.

00:21:56.600 He left.

00:21:57.380 About two...

00:21:58.540 A month later, I'm hearing my name outside my house.

00:22:00.660 I'm thinking, what the hell, calling my family?

00:22:03.640 Everyone's saying, are you sure you're not having a mental breakdown?

00:22:06.580 They actually believed I was losing my mind.

00:22:10.360 And then, on my birthday, which was like a month after that,

00:22:14.180 he'd broke into my house.

00:22:15.480 He was hiding in my wardrobe.

00:22:17.700 And, yeah, it just went...

00:22:20.980 Like, he didn't come out, but I could smell him in my house.

00:22:24.140 How long was he there before?

00:22:25.880 I don't know.

00:22:26.580 No, seriously, because he was outside, and I took my heels off and run up four flights

00:22:31.560 of stairs, and then I've gone in, shut the door behind me, and everyone's trying to get

00:22:35.580 in.

00:22:36.600 And I was just like, when I find you, it's over.

00:22:40.060 I could just smell him in my flat, and I couldn't find him.

00:22:43.180 And then I left, and then I left, and he broke out afterwards.

00:22:45.440 I've heard of a woman breaking into a man's house.

00:22:52.440 I've heard of a woman breaking into a man's, but it's the first time I've heard of a man

00:22:57.260 breaking into a woman.

00:22:57.980 T, what are you doing if someone stands out of your house like that, and comes inside into

00:23:01.280 your wardrobe?

00:23:01.660 What are you doing?

00:23:02.260 No, you're inside your mind.

00:23:05.860 That's the law.

00:23:07.060 That's the law, isn't it?

00:23:08.100 My property, you're inside.

00:23:09.820 I never invited you.

00:23:11.280 You know, I'm not leaving.

00:23:12.620 You have to get past me.

00:23:14.860 Are we fighting them?

00:23:16.440 I'm not fighting.

00:23:17.260 I'm defending myself, because I'm at the door.

00:23:19.000 There's a difference.

00:23:20.020 Okay.

00:23:20.820 Legally.

00:23:22.060 That's what I mean.

00:23:22.760 I know what I'm saying.

00:23:23.620 I know what I'm saying.

00:23:25.680 What else?

00:23:26.440 Who else?

00:23:27.120 Anyone?

00:23:27.600 Yeah, crazy.

00:23:28.580 Worst breakup.

00:23:29.600 Is it worst breakup, or is it worse the person, if the person is bad?

00:23:33.980 Yeah, the worst breakup I want to hear.

00:23:35.560 Yeah.

00:23:37.020 I want to hear that people's friends.

00:23:37.660 I'd say, are there nice breakups?

00:23:39.340 Are there ever nice breakups?

00:23:40.460 Has anyone had a nice breakup?

00:23:41.560 I've had a nice breakup.

00:23:42.740 Have you?

00:23:43.480 Yeah, most of them have been nice.

00:23:44.660 Yes, there is.

00:23:45.560 There is such thing as a nice breakup, guys.

00:23:48.200 We all have a communication here.

00:23:49.020 So tell me about the one that wasn't nice.

00:23:51.060 What happened?

00:23:53.500 Do I really want to go into that?

00:23:57.320 Just move over it.

00:23:58.700 Did you do it back to it?

00:23:59.360 Yeah, so way back in my past, I'm not going to go to my recent.

00:24:04.740 Way back in my past, I had someone that was a bit obsessive, actually.

00:24:10.520 He left.

00:24:11.640 He finished the relationship.

00:24:12.800 And then he thought he could go away for the weekend, mess around a bit and come back.

00:24:19.720 And I'd had enough.

00:24:20.520 And I said, no.

00:24:21.940 And then he was finding me in the streets on his hands and knees, crying, begging.

00:24:29.320 You know, yeah, it's a bit messy.

00:24:31.840 And he would try and break in, but he didn't ever succeed.

00:24:34.600 He was trying to break it?

00:24:35.620 Yeah, he put a ladder up to the window and also, there was a lot.

00:24:38.640 Is this a common thing?

00:24:39.760 There was a lot.

00:24:41.380 Yeah, he didn't get in, but it was weird.

00:24:43.880 Why are you nodding?

00:24:44.840 Is that how you're doing?

00:24:45.500 No, no, no.

00:24:46.360 I'm not involved in this one.

00:24:48.040 Yeah.

00:24:48.440 So he put a ladder onto your door and tried to, or up to your window?

00:24:53.720 No, no, up to the second, yeah.

00:24:55.240 And then tried to get in.

00:24:57.240 Try to get in, yeah.

00:24:58.320 Did you call the cops?

00:25:00.620 Did I call it?

00:25:01.240 Do you know it was a long time?

00:25:02.060 No, I don't think I did.

00:25:02.900 I think I just got out of the way of the window.

00:25:05.260 He couldn't get in.

00:25:06.060 So what was he going to do?

00:25:07.040 It was just stupid.

00:25:07.880 It was just such a stupid thing to do.

00:25:09.460 Okay, you go up a ladder.

00:25:10.480 Go back down again.

00:25:11.420 See ya.

00:25:11.880 Yeah.

00:25:12.560 All right.

00:25:13.480 Have fun.

00:25:13.840 Wow, I can't believe there's two people in here.

00:25:16.520 Yeah, he didn't succeed though, and he didn't hide in a wardrobe.

00:25:20.360 I mean, he did do some weird things over the years, but I'm not going to go into stuff.

00:25:25.380 Okay.

00:25:26.740 Is dating a younger, more attractive man than your ex considered a win?

00:25:31.180 Why or why not?

00:25:34.180 Doesn't it depend on how he treats you and what person he is, how he carries himself,

00:25:39.940 whether he's holding doors open for you, whether all those nice things that you like from

00:25:44.340 a man to be treated like a woman, is he doing those things?

00:25:49.940 Does age really matter?

00:25:52.680 Can I just say, if I was to date a younger guy than I was dating or I'm dating, whatever

00:25:58.000 the situation may be, I'd probably catch a case.

00:26:00.800 Yeah, you're young now.

00:26:01.960 Damn, what about someone that's 17?

00:26:03.960 It's crazy.

00:26:05.480 I've got a bit of leeway.

00:26:07.040 You've got no leeway.

00:26:07.960 What are you talking about?

00:26:09.560 Sorry, the question's based on the Tom Brady and Giselle.

00:26:14.220 Okay.

00:26:14.680 What's catch a case?

00:26:15.660 She was dating a 24-year-old.

00:26:17.360 What do you mean catch a case?

00:26:18.280 How old is she?

00:26:19.040 She's 40-something.

00:26:21.860 I mean, I don't know if I'd want to date a man that's that much younger, because it

00:26:26.120 takes men a while.

00:26:28.380 They have to get some things out of their system before they settle down.

00:26:31.620 And yeah, they mature a lot slower.

00:26:34.680 I don't know if I'd want to do that.

00:26:35.940 No, but then you've got to look at it as, are you actually looking to have a, are you,

00:26:40.100 for the younger person, you're actually looking to have a relationship?

00:26:42.580 I don't date without having a relationship.

00:26:45.360 I don't get involved with anyone unless I see a relationship potential.

00:26:49.340 I don't do that.

00:26:49.880 Sorry, one thing that I would point out is women typically don't want younger men, and

00:26:55.360 attractive is somewhat secondary.

00:26:58.420 I think for men, if they had a, you know, a younger, more attractive new person than

00:27:05.200 their ex, then it would be a win for them, because that is kind of their dating metric.

00:27:08.620 That's what they look for.

00:27:10.180 Whereas with women, I would typically look for someone that's older.

00:27:13.220 Like my partner's a little older than me, um, and attraction, you know, a lot of times

00:27:20.080 women can replace that with, for example, you know, status or money.

00:27:24.580 Whereas with men, if you're not attractive, they won't even give you the time of day.

00:27:27.920 So the question was kind of asked in reverse.

00:27:30.900 It wouldn't be, you know, a win for women, but definitely for men.

00:27:34.080 I think, I think that it'd be a win for women if the younger person, younger person, if the

00:27:40.720 younger person was, um, more mature, because sometimes you get a younger man, he's more

00:27:47.300 mature than the other man you've left.

00:27:49.560 Is it rare?

00:27:50.540 It's rare though, isn't it?

00:27:52.300 I'm a rarity.

00:27:54.220 Yeah, but is the man rare?

00:27:56.420 I know you're a rarity, but.

00:27:58.240 No, sometimes, no, there's a lot of good young men out there.

00:28:00.440 No, but then if you're actively going out seeking a younger guy saying, oh yeah, this

00:28:04.440 is going to make my husband feel shit, like, I'm going to go with that, he's going to be

00:28:08.920 like, oh, he's probably more sexually active, probably more good looking, probably has better

00:28:12.700 things coming for him.

00:28:13.780 I think that's kind of, that's kind of low key tapped, like, high key.

00:28:17.340 In fact, like, if you're thinking about getting with someone to degrade someone that you've

00:28:21.160 been with before, it kind of just shows your character.

00:28:23.160 And I don't think that's how we should be approaching it, especially right now.

00:28:26.000 And as women, I don't think that's how we should approach it before we get labelled on stuff

00:28:28.920 we don't want to.

00:28:29.500 I agree.

00:28:30.060 I think that's getting with someone for a different reason.

00:28:32.180 That's slag behaviour.

00:28:34.620 Antti, don't you think?

00:28:36.020 If it's like a 40-year-old woman and a 25-year-old man, what future could there be, no matter how

00:28:42.700 nice of a young man he is?

00:28:44.160 She'll get good sex for about 10 years before he leaves her.

00:28:48.080 I'll be up for that.

00:28:50.760 What can I plot?

00:28:51.620 Then we went to the next one.

00:28:53.620 But no, I mean.

00:28:55.020 Okay.

00:28:57.060 So would you say that's a win then for her?

00:28:58.740 It's a win for her.

00:28:59.780 Good on her.

00:29:02.780 That's what I was saying.

00:29:05.800 They talk about equality, innit?

00:29:07.580 And that younger man, well, good on him.

00:29:10.080 He's out there with an older woman who's got a bit of dosh.

00:29:12.160 Why not?

00:29:12.520 I think some men like older women.

00:29:16.900 And I don't know whether it's mummy issues, but I feel like they like to be mothered.

00:29:20.520 And I think older women tend to wrap them up and look after them.

00:29:26.120 No, I just think that older women knows how to look after a man rather than young people nowadays.

00:29:32.240 So what you might see as mothering might be just a traditional woman looking after a man.

00:29:36.420 And that's what it is.

00:29:37.640 Because if you get an older woman there and she decides to go and give her man dinner,

00:29:42.120 go and cook dinner and put it on the tray, you'd be like, what?

00:29:45.420 See what I mean?

00:29:46.400 And you might think, oh, she's mothering him.

00:29:48.020 But that's what women do.

00:29:49.600 Well, and younger guys, like the guys that I know that will go for older women,

00:29:53.940 it's typically because they want casual sex.

00:29:55.960 And they just think it's easier to get it from them.

00:29:57.940 Yeah, that's what I said.

00:29:58.920 Good sex for 10 years.

00:29:59.880 Yeah, you're right.

00:30:02.100 And if it lasts longer, that's a bonus.

00:30:08.400 Would you guys ever date someone for a long period of time knowing there's no long-term future?

00:30:14.780 What being a situationship, basically?

00:30:18.080 No.

00:30:18.740 No.

00:30:19.180 Absolutely not.

00:30:20.080 Waste of time.

00:30:20.840 You're wasting your youth.

00:30:22.140 No.

00:30:22.700 I'd do it.

00:30:23.340 I'd do it.

00:30:24.960 I'd do it.

00:30:25.440 If I didn't have nightmares, I'd do it.

00:30:26.960 Don't you think you may be passing past, like someone who's right for you,

00:30:31.040 maybe you may miss them whilst wasting your time on someone else.

00:30:33.600 If you miss them, it's like a bus, isn't it?

00:30:35.180 Catch them again.

00:30:36.020 What?

00:30:36.340 I said, if you miss them.

00:30:37.300 No, she was saying that.

00:30:38.600 I'd rather.

00:30:39.140 Next one comes along.

00:30:40.100 Yeah, because, I'm sorry, but if you're with someone and you just think, you know what?

00:30:43.920 I mean, just thinking realistically, you either don't have anyone and let time fast you by

00:30:49.280 and then, or use all your roses and your lips and whatever,

00:30:53.260 or you find a young man and you just think, you know what?

00:30:56.620 I've got you for five years or I've got a man for five years and you just enjoy yourself.

00:30:59.860 You're not looking for nothing else.

00:31:01.460 You might be a busy businesswoman that don't want a relationship

00:31:04.480 and you might have come to an agreement with someone.

00:31:07.080 Do you know what?

00:31:07.500 We're just going to see each other, but we've got five, ten years to waste.

00:31:12.300 I personally think that only works for a short period of time.

00:31:14.860 You can only be so uncertain for a short period of time

00:31:17.240 and that initially happens at the beginning.

00:31:18.960 Maybe, like, give it three, four months.

00:31:20.860 You'll probably start liking them and being like, yeah, I want to get into a relationship.

00:31:23.720 But then they're going to use the fact that you went into a relationship

00:31:25.740 without no intention of getting together in the future

00:31:28.040 to basically go, yeah, nah, I'm not really getting into one.

00:31:31.380 That's one of the main mistakes that women make.

00:31:33.400 That is.

00:31:34.100 So, I think that only works for a short period of time.

00:31:36.080 You can only be uncertain for a very short period of time.

00:31:38.800 Sooner or later, you will end up liking the person, believe it or not.

00:31:41.440 How soon will you guys have that conversation of where something is going?

00:31:47.320 Is that something you guys do on the first date, third date, a month in?

00:31:51.760 Depends who they are.

00:31:54.000 Does it not depend on before you even get to that point,

00:31:57.580 knowing where you're actually at in terms of wanting a relationship or not?

00:32:02.200 Well, I'm saying if you want to be in something long term

00:32:05.400 and you meet a guy and go on a date with him,

00:32:08.320 how long until you ask him where it's going?

00:32:09.920 For me, personally, it would be before we become intimate

00:32:14.520 or, like, I shed that kind of energy.

00:32:18.500 Can I just say something before you become intimate?

00:32:21.260 So, how many dates are you going to go on before you become intimate?

00:32:23.720 I'm just thinking about the guy could be taking you out, like, four or five times

00:32:26.660 and then you're going to turn around and say, no, I'd be vexed if I was a man.

00:32:30.640 I'm taking you out on five dates and you're going to turn me out getting that and four in.

00:32:33.780 I'm going to be vexed.

00:32:34.640 Let's be honest.

00:32:35.200 I'm going to be vexed.

00:32:36.300 Damn, auntie, you're really dating.

00:32:38.320 You're acting on the bed.

00:32:40.640 No, it's true.

00:32:42.000 Because you've got, all right, then, think about it from a man's point of view.

00:32:44.400 You like this girl and you're talking.

00:32:46.540 You're going to take her out on these dates.

00:32:48.640 And then after the fifth date, she's going to be like, you know what,

00:32:51.320 I can't really see a future.

00:32:52.940 I'll be like, give my money back.

00:32:54.480 You know what I mean?

00:32:55.100 I'm wasting my money on you.

00:32:56.360 Give my money back.

00:32:57.320 I think it should be done, like, from day one.

00:32:59.640 From the time you started talking, like, yeah, what's your name?

00:33:01.980 And, like, I'm dating with intention.

00:33:03.340 You either like me or you don't like me.

00:33:04.500 You move on.

00:33:05.320 But to go on dates and then turn around and say,

00:33:08.580 he should keep all the receipts and answer his money back,

00:33:11.520 or at least 50%.

00:33:12.740 But for someone to say that you really must not have liked the dates like that,

00:33:15.620 you're probably just focusing on trying to get

00:33:17.260 a different type of intimacy with a person.

00:33:19.620 No, the question was, how long would it be before, like,

00:33:23.000 if you're going to get serious with someone?

00:33:25.020 So to go on dates, she's asking when.

00:33:27.340 Now, I remember I said to someone, like, when you meet someone,

00:33:29.720 they want to take you out and say, you know,

00:33:31.580 what are your intentions towards me?

00:33:32.880 I'm dating with the intention before you even go out on a date.

00:33:36.100 From the time you're going out on a date,

00:33:37.980 you're giving them false hope.

00:33:40.260 You're giving them false hope.

00:33:41.420 From the time you said, yes, I'm going to go on a date,

00:33:42.980 you think, yeah, I'm in there.

00:33:44.240 And then the next date, yeah, I'm in there.

00:33:45.820 I'm getting close on clock.

00:33:46.820 They go, no, you're not my type.

00:33:48.220 After four or five dates.

00:33:49.300 Actually, to be fair, I hear you.

00:33:50.540 I actually do hear you.

00:33:51.360 I think that's what I was trying to say before.

00:33:53.000 I think it's before knowing, before you get to that point,

00:33:55.400 what you want, going into whether you're going to have a date

00:33:59.320 or going into a relationship, I think.

00:34:01.500 Women know.

00:34:02.140 You can just look at a man and see, you know.

00:34:03.800 Even before you go on a date, you know.

00:34:05.280 So when you go on a date, you already know.

00:34:07.020 You can tell by the first date that you don't like him.

00:34:09.720 I mean, I kind of, maybe the phone call?

00:34:14.020 I think you get that connection and it is about that energy.

00:34:18.020 And I think we do feel that and we do know prior to going forth

00:34:24.140 with anything else.

00:34:25.020 So I do think those that say, I just want to see and wait

00:34:27.880 and see how it goes on, I think deep down,

00:34:29.960 we truly know before we even go to that point.

00:34:32.040 They just hedge your bets.

00:34:32.960 They just say, you know what, I'm going to go on dates with him

00:34:34.920 because something better might come around.

00:34:37.320 But sometimes you can know someone's not right,

00:34:39.900 but you're highly attracted to them, so you keep going back.

00:34:42.680 Like, and there were those that are called toxic nowadays.

00:34:46.760 To do what?

00:34:47.100 Toxic.

00:34:47.660 To do what?

00:34:47.940 You go back to meet up.

00:34:49.320 You know, some people, well, there's a lot of people

00:34:51.280 that sleep around.

00:34:52.040 They know that it's not going to go on purpose.

00:34:54.220 Yeah.

00:34:54.500 So are you like a friends of benefit?

00:34:56.340 I feel like if you get into a situation where you're basically

00:34:58.920 you're friends of benefits, you've kind of already established

00:35:00.740 what is going on in the relationship, right?

00:35:02.240 But I feel like if you're, before you even go on a date,

00:35:08.080 personally, I'd speak to the person first.

00:35:10.500 Probably like, give it like a week, give it like a week or two.

00:35:13.280 You'd know if you even want to go on the date.

00:35:15.180 That's the thing.

00:35:16.200 But for you to go on five dates and be like, yeah, I'm not,

00:35:18.620 I'm not like fucking you.

00:35:19.740 Yeah, I can see that.

00:35:21.740 If I'm being honest, a man has to make my fanny flower.

00:35:24.620 If you're not making my fanny flower,

00:35:26.900 then I feel like there's nowhere to go.

00:35:29.160 Like there has to be that sexual chemistry as well as that energy

00:35:33.580 and that connection.

00:35:34.660 I think it has to be there.

00:35:35.720 I think it is important.

00:35:36.980 But don't forget about it.

00:35:38.640 Like your fanny can flutter at the beginning.

00:35:41.380 Do you know what I mean?

00:35:42.380 And then it's like, you get there and then you're like,

00:35:47.240 are you dead?

00:35:48.280 Do you know what I mean?

00:35:49.720 All of a sudden it just stops.

00:35:51.160 And that's how women know.

00:35:52.220 Because the man would still be going in there that year,

00:35:54.020 we're having sex.

00:35:54.580 And we're like, you know what?

00:35:55.360 I'm dead below the waist for you.

00:35:56.980 Do you know what I mean?

00:35:57.360 And then you're just going to build up how to dump him.

00:36:00.080 Don't, auntie.

00:36:00.980 So don't follow your fanny.

00:36:03.940 No, I'm saying don't follow your fanny,

00:36:05.860 but I have to have that fanny flutter with somebody

00:36:08.480 that I'm going to be looking.

00:36:10.200 I think that's important part of,

00:36:12.300 that's got to be in my shopping basket.

00:36:15.160 Being able to, that physical attraction,

00:36:16.980 that sexual attraction with a man,

00:36:18.380 as well as being able to have that intellectual conversation

00:36:20.660 and have that fun factor as well.

00:36:25.580 I think there's a lot of...

00:36:26.780 So what's not in the shopping bag?

00:36:28.660 What are you willing to give up?

00:36:30.840 Because if he's a good looking guy

00:36:32.740 that makes your like fanny flutter,

00:36:34.580 a lot of women are going to want him.

00:36:36.440 Can I say what I want in my basket?

00:36:38.440 And then everything else can't be in my basket.

00:36:40.620 Okay, go ahead.

00:36:41.280 Go ahead.

00:36:41.480 I think honesty is important.

00:36:44.140 I think communication is key.

00:36:48.940 I think I'm at a point in my life now

00:36:51.220 where I need consistency to feel safe and secure.

00:36:55.980 And obviously that physical attraction, have fun.

00:36:58.860 What I don't want is somebody dictating to me,

00:37:02.020 telling me what I can and can't do.

00:37:04.740 Abusive, whichever way, shape or form that may look.

00:37:09.120 So yeah, I think...

00:37:10.240 That's a shopping trolley.

00:37:11.440 That ain't even a basket.

00:37:13.220 She's done for having nothing in a basket

00:37:15.180 so I have a whole trolley.

00:37:16.860 They're the things that I would get rid of.

00:37:18.420 Yeah, so I think, you know, that's me.

00:37:23.740 What about you guys?

00:37:25.460 What would you guys want in a guy?

00:37:27.940 I have everything I want now.

00:37:29.860 Aww.

00:37:31.840 Shout out to my boyfriend.

00:37:33.480 Not to be cringe, but I can't be like,

00:37:35.200 well, I want this because I'm flyers.

00:37:36.520 I don't have it.

00:37:37.000 No.

00:37:37.760 He looks after me.

00:37:39.240 He flees me.

00:37:40.460 He does everything I need, thankfully.

00:37:43.180 Is he more than five years older than you?

00:37:45.820 Yeah, well, he's five years older than me.

00:37:47.780 See, that was a good guess, wasn't it?

00:37:48.960 That was all right.

00:37:52.880 What would I want?

00:37:55.040 You know, I used to be big on saying,

00:37:57.220 I want communication.

00:37:59.020 Anybody that asked me what I wanted,

00:38:00.920 I'd always be like,

00:38:02.060 I'm the best communicator in the world.

00:38:03.560 I need someone to communicate just as well as me.

00:38:06.480 But you realise that communication comes in different forms

00:38:08.700 and it's always not going to be compatible with you.

00:38:10.380 So even when someone is,

00:38:11.440 you'd think they wouldn't be.

00:38:12.420 You're asking a man to be a woman.

00:38:15.780 Asking, telling you to tell me what you want.

00:38:17.760 It's not asking me to be a woman.

00:38:19.060 I'm just telling you so that you don't get upset

00:38:20.620 if I don't do the stuff you want me to do.

00:38:22.160 How many men have told you to shut up and be quiet?

00:38:25.620 Nobody, and I hope no one.

00:38:27.600 Okay, yeah, I'm lucky.

00:38:29.760 Yeah, I am.

00:38:30.580 But a lot of the time...

00:38:31.460 I'm not going to stand someone

00:38:32.240 that's telling me to shut up.

00:38:33.700 But a lot of the time,

00:38:34.720 if men tell us what they really want,

00:38:37.140 we leave.

00:38:38.060 Because it's usually...

00:38:38.600 Yeah.

00:38:39.200 We have sex with multiple people

00:38:40.240 and you stay monogamous.

00:38:42.100 So when we get told that,

00:38:44.000 that's their form of honest communication

00:38:45.680 and we're just like,

00:38:47.200 all right, I'm going.

00:38:48.680 That's probably why they're not honest with us.

00:38:51.120 Probably, actually.

00:38:51.780 So she wants a good communicator.

00:38:53.280 She's got a shopping trolley.

00:38:54.440 I want to find out what everybody else wants.

00:38:56.600 Okay, so good communicator.

00:38:57.980 What else?

00:38:59.420 Someone that I find attractive.

00:39:03.120 Okay.

00:39:03.660 Is there a height requirement for that?

00:39:05.940 You're not that tall, I don't think.

00:39:07.820 Why are you calling me out like that?

00:39:08.620 No, I'm 5'3".

00:39:09.440 No, I don't have a height requirement.

00:39:11.960 You can be as tall as you like.

00:39:13.460 5'4"?

00:39:14.020 5'4"?

00:39:15.220 5'4"?

00:39:15.680 I don't think I'd go for some other shopping.

00:39:17.580 So there's a height requirement.

00:39:19.020 Yeah, just not shorter than me.

00:39:20.540 Sorry, yes, no.

00:39:21.780 A height requirement,

00:39:22.720 but just someone that's not shorter than me.

00:39:24.280 Okay, so 5'4"?

00:39:24.440 Just because I feel like I'd be more attracted

00:39:26.100 to someone that was taller than me

00:39:27.080 than shorter than me.

00:39:27.800 Same height is good?

00:39:29.040 Same height can be, yeah,

00:39:30.320 it can be all right.

00:39:31.180 We can try and make it work.

00:39:32.140 But you'd prefer like 5'5 at least?

00:39:33.560 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:39:34.060 Okay, go ahead.

00:39:34.960 So tall, 5'5 and up and good communicator.

00:39:39.140 Yeah, someone that's...

00:39:40.260 That's a funny story put up.

00:39:41.720 Someone that I'd prefer,

00:39:43.780 if I was to look for anybody,

00:39:46.020 and from the first time I even stepped my foot

00:39:48.560 into this dating world,

00:39:50.160 someone that's been in a previous relationship,

00:39:55.420 but however, I don't mean it in a way

00:39:58.060 where like you're still talking to them,

00:39:59.920 but I mean, in a way where like,

00:40:01.940 you know what is required in a relationship.

00:40:04.320 You know how to go about someone,

00:40:05.540 a significant other,

00:40:06.760 and how to talk to them,

00:40:08.140 how to look after them.

00:40:09.540 And I think, yeah,

00:40:10.480 so I think that's kind of important to me.

00:40:12.540 Not a deal breaker, but I would prefer that.

00:40:14.480 Okay, so 5'5 and taller.

00:40:16.600 Has been in a relationship good communicator.

00:40:18.780 Anything else?

00:40:21.860 Maybe something I'm not allowed to say on camera.

00:40:24.580 I'm joking.

00:40:26.100 I'm joking, I'm joking.

00:40:27.480 But yeah, that's all I got for

00:40:28.560 at the top of my head though.

00:40:29.680 Okay, what about you?

00:40:31.400 So I would say I'd like someone to be honest.

00:40:35.380 And even if that is brutally honest,

00:40:37.160 I prefer that.

00:40:40.320 Someone that is considerate.

00:40:43.640 Someone that I'm attracted to, first of all.

00:40:46.140 That's my number one.

00:40:47.700 And then the rest kind of follows.

00:40:48.960 I'm a bit more like,

00:40:51.420 I don't mind relaxing some of my wants

00:40:54.880 if the person is a decent person,

00:40:58.040 if he's got drive,

00:41:00.060 if he likes to enjoy life,

00:41:02.840 if he sees fun in being alive,

00:41:06.860 appreciates being alive.

00:41:08.200 That's,

00:41:09.260 things can change.

00:41:10.660 I'm not so black and white on things.

00:41:13.680 Like I've dated,

00:41:15.320 okay,

00:41:15.620 I was young,

00:41:16.340 but I've dated someone

00:41:17.280 that was shorter than me before.

00:41:21.700 Actually,

00:41:22.220 I only have,

00:41:22.980 I've only had two relationships

00:41:24.240 and both weren't tall.

00:41:26.860 So it's not like I'm looking for...

00:41:28.020 Did you break up with them

00:41:28.920 or did they break up with you?

00:41:30.700 They both broke up with me.

00:41:32.020 So what else?

00:41:36.080 Anything else?

00:41:36.980 But obviously,

00:41:37.480 like I said earlier,

00:41:38.760 they come back

00:41:42.360 when they realise the grass isn't greener.

00:41:46.840 But yeah.

00:41:48.220 Would you take them back

00:41:49.060 if someone,

00:41:49.680 if they came back?

00:41:50.740 Well,

00:41:50.980 I did with one particular one.

00:41:52.940 Not anymore though.

00:41:54.240 That option's not even there anyway,

00:41:56.140 but not anymore.

00:41:58.100 Can I ask why they broke up with you?

00:41:59.660 Is it you or is it them?

00:42:04.640 I would say it could be...

00:42:07.800 So the first person wanted,

00:42:09.780 like I said earlier,

00:42:10.500 wanted to have fun.

00:42:11.940 Went off,

00:42:13.020 thought he could come back

00:42:14.280 and I didn't let him come back

00:42:16.520 and that really upset him.

00:42:20.420 Second person,

00:42:21.340 he did keep coming back,

00:42:22.620 to be honest.

00:42:23.600 It's a long story.

00:42:24.840 We were dating since like I was 14.

00:42:27.080 14 to 18,

00:42:30.260 broke up,

00:42:31.560 dated the other guy

00:42:32.800 and then got back with him after

00:42:35.300 and we were dating for

00:42:36.600 about 12 years

00:42:39.500 with maybe a year gap in between that.

00:42:41.640 Wow,

00:42:41.840 you're with him for 12 years?

00:42:43.580 Yeah,

00:42:43.820 with like a,

00:42:44.840 well,

00:42:45.120 13 years with a year gap in between.

00:42:47.180 Yeah.

00:42:47.500 Wow.

00:42:48.240 Why didn't y'all get married?

00:42:50.100 That was the idea.

00:42:51.240 Yeah.

00:42:51.960 That was the idea.

00:42:52.820 It's longer than most marriages.

00:42:54.880 Yeah,

00:42:55.220 it was the idea.

00:42:55.740 We lived as,

00:42:56.800 you know,

00:42:57.180 as you would,

00:42:58.600 but you know,

00:42:59.340 things change,

00:43:00.500 people change

00:43:01.300 and I think sometimes

00:43:03.340 when someone's in an environment

00:43:05.840 where they're with a lot of younger people,

00:43:08.540 they can change what they want.

00:43:10.180 So initially,

00:43:10.880 when we first dated,

00:43:13.360 he would,

00:43:14.340 he still would hold all the doors

00:43:15.600 and everything.

00:43:16.000 He's very gentlemanly

00:43:16.920 and he's a very nice person,

00:43:19.500 but he,

00:43:20.340 he would not like it

00:43:22.460 if I attempted to pay for something.

00:43:24.460 He had to pay for things.

00:43:25.720 Like,

00:43:26.300 he learned to drive

00:43:27.260 because he didn't like me driving him around.

00:43:29.500 He was saying,

00:43:30.060 That sounds amazing.

00:43:31.020 He was like,

00:43:31.520 I don't feel manly.

00:43:33.340 Yeah.

00:43:33.720 Yeah.

00:43:34.460 But at the end,

00:43:35.580 when we broke up,

00:43:36.260 one of the reasons he gave

00:43:37.320 is because I don't pay,

00:43:39.060 take him out on dates

00:43:40.000 and pay for things.

00:43:41.180 But he's in an environment

00:43:42.260 where he hangs around

00:43:43.160 with younger people

00:43:43.940 and I think he may have

00:43:46.380 got a bit messed up along the way.

00:43:48.980 He had it right in the beginning.

00:43:50.440 You know,

00:43:50.900 he was very traditional

00:43:52.080 and I liked that about him.

00:43:53.740 He was a good person.

00:43:54.680 He treated his mum.

00:43:55.320 That's another thing.

00:43:56.280 They have to treat their mum well

00:43:57.540 and I think that that speaks volumes.

00:44:02.100 Yeah.

00:44:02.980 Times change.

00:44:03.820 People grow out of each other.

00:44:06.680 So he,

00:44:08.100 because this just doesn't make sense.

00:44:09.900 So he hung around younger people

00:44:11.260 and then he was mad

00:44:12.020 you didn't pay for things?

00:44:13.380 He's a musician.

00:44:14.500 Okay.

00:44:15.200 And I think when other people say,

00:44:17.240 oh, my girlfriend bought me this,

00:44:18.720 my girlfriend done this

00:44:19.820 and took me this place

00:44:20.920 and then it made him think,

00:44:22.800 oh, why isn't she doing that?

00:44:24.200 But he would have been angry

00:44:25.420 if I'd done that originally.

00:44:27.800 Do you think there was other ways

00:44:29.100 maybe you could have done something

00:44:30.440 that wasn't money

00:44:31.200 that he would have appreciated?

00:44:32.560 Oh, yeah, I did.

00:44:33.560 Yeah, I did.

00:44:34.200 And he just didn't take that into account?

00:44:36.700 No.

00:44:38.140 Maybe not.

00:44:39.000 Obviously not.

00:44:39.840 Yeah.

00:44:39.960 That kind of sounds like

00:44:41.140 he was doing stuff.

00:44:42.120 Not more so to have the authority,

00:44:45.360 not in a bad way,

00:44:46.620 but to have the authority be like,

00:44:48.260 yeah, I can look after you.

00:44:49.740 But kind of just dismiss the fact

00:44:51.540 that he wanted to be looked after too.

00:44:52.980 So maybe that's why he came back

00:44:53.980 and went,

00:44:54.760 cool, like,

00:44:55.340 you don't look after me.

00:44:56.580 But like,

00:44:57.080 for him,

00:44:57.560 his only,

00:44:58.500 like,

00:44:58.980 his only intention

00:44:59.820 was to look after you.

00:45:01.140 Well, I don't think,

00:45:01.760 I don't know,

00:45:02.120 based on what I'm hearing,

00:45:03.860 that's what it sounds like.

00:45:04.760 Based on what I'm hearing,

00:45:07.820 he got easily influenced

00:45:09.060 by his peers.

00:45:10.600 And that's what it was.

00:45:12.120 He spent more time

00:45:13.000 with his younger peers,

00:45:14.020 listening to them.

00:45:15.180 And sometimes it became hard.

00:45:16.440 Peer pressure can come at any age.

00:45:18.320 Yeah, I think so.

00:45:19.040 Especially as yous

00:45:19.920 that were together so young.

00:45:21.540 And he was so,

00:45:22.280 it seems like he was

00:45:23.560 mature when he was young,

00:45:25.920 and then he spent

00:45:26.580 most of his youth being mature.

00:45:28.380 And then when he had the chance

00:45:29.540 to be young again

00:45:30.700 and be a teenager,

00:45:32.240 because he'd lost

00:45:32.840 all his teenage years,

00:45:33.880 he just went for it

00:45:34.560 because he was surrounded by that.

00:45:36.240 I think if he wasn't a musician,

00:45:37.420 it would have been different.

00:45:38.400 But being a musician,

00:45:40.180 that's hard.

00:45:41.180 Yeah.

00:45:41.900 I made him be a musician as well.

00:45:44.740 Oh, right.

00:45:45.920 I was like,

00:45:46.720 do it.

00:45:47.260 Follow your,

00:45:47.740 yeah, do it.

00:45:48.460 It's fine.

00:45:48.880 I can, you know,

00:45:50.060 take care of things

00:45:51.800 for a little while.

00:45:52.660 That's such a long relationship.

00:45:54.180 It just sounds like

00:45:55.080 such a,

00:45:56.180 it's seemingly smaller

00:45:57.620 thing that,

00:45:58.780 and such a long relationship.

00:45:59.840 Oh, no, there was many,

00:46:00.660 there was many things,

00:46:01.840 there was many things

00:46:02.980 that he'd done at the end

00:46:04.040 that were not good.

00:46:05.000 But I don't really want,

00:46:05.860 he's a good person.

00:46:06.800 I've got nothing bad

00:46:07.520 to say about him,

00:46:08.240 but he behaved badly

00:46:10.000 for a little while,

00:46:11.460 for like six months

00:46:12.540 of our relationship.

00:46:14.380 He behaved very badly.

00:46:15.780 And then he's now

00:46:17.640 back to being normal

00:46:18.440 and everything,

00:46:19.120 you know, fine.

00:46:20.560 But he, yeah,

00:46:21.520 he was a different person

00:46:22.400 for a while.

00:46:22.440 I've got fingers crossed for you.

00:46:24.020 Yeah.

00:46:24.400 No, no, no, no,

00:46:25.060 absolutely not.

00:46:25.720 I'm rooting for it a little bit.

00:46:26.620 No, no.

00:46:27.620 Absolutely not.

00:46:28.700 He wasn't mature.

00:46:30.080 No, no.

00:46:31.120 How old is he now?

00:46:32.940 He's 40.

00:46:33.580 When he,

00:46:34.420 so it was,

00:46:35.140 when he was turning.

00:46:36.240 Is he with anyone?

00:46:37.360 I don't know.

00:46:37.880 He would,

00:46:38.220 I don't think he would ever tell me.

00:46:39.480 That's the thing.

00:46:40.240 I don't think he would.

00:46:41.000 You didn't creep?

00:46:42.900 No.

00:46:43.420 You didn't check his page?

00:46:45.140 No, I haven't recently.

00:46:46.260 Obviously,

00:46:46.500 when we first broke up,

00:46:48.240 I looked.

00:46:48.960 Would it make you feel?

00:46:49.640 We're still on,

00:46:50.360 we're still friends on everything.

00:46:51.540 We haven't done that.

00:46:53.560 Would it make you feel a type of way

00:46:54.640 if he told you he was talking

00:46:55.460 to someone else right now?

00:46:56.420 No, not at all.

00:46:57.300 I'm completely healed.

00:46:58.360 Like literally,

00:46:59.800 when he moved out,

00:47:01.460 I came to terms with it pretty quick.

00:47:03.360 And I am one of those people

00:47:05.440 that take things as a lesson

00:47:06.680 and I move on from it.

00:47:08.600 So I'm like,

00:47:09.480 I could see,

00:47:10.380 so he's done some really bad things

00:47:11.560 at the end,

00:47:12.040 but he's a good person

00:47:13.460 and I can see the part

00:47:14.920 I played in that.

00:47:16.000 So I can see

00:47:16.800 how my behaviour

00:47:18.040 made him behave that way.

00:47:20.840 So I think,

00:47:21.720 you know,

00:47:22.000 sometimes it can be easy

00:47:23.320 to stop doing the things

00:47:25.960 that you do for each other

00:47:26.980 and not keeping things alive,

00:47:29.760 you know.

00:47:30.500 And I'm not saying in the bedroom.

00:47:32.240 I'm saying in general,

00:47:33.640 day to day.

00:47:36.540 Yeah.

00:47:37.180 So I just think that

00:47:38.660 good people,

00:47:40.240 bad situation,

00:47:41.160 things went upside down

00:47:43.160 and that's fine.

00:47:44.480 And actually,

00:47:45.340 I think I had my best year

00:47:46.980 of my life

00:47:47.620 since we split up,

00:47:49.660 funny enough,

00:47:50.120 not because he's a bad person.

00:47:51.960 It's just because

00:47:52.440 I can be me.

00:47:54.320 I can do what I want to do.

00:47:55.300 I don't have to consider

00:47:56.440 a partner's feelings

00:47:58.040 for a little while.

00:47:59.880 I'm not the type of person

00:48:01.160 to just move

00:48:01.800 from person to person.

00:48:04.740 Yeah.

00:48:05.220 So I'm just good being me

00:48:06.200 for a little while.

00:48:07.460 I'm still kind of rooting for it.

00:48:09.000 No, no, no, no.

00:48:09.900 Don't, don't.

00:48:10.760 No.

00:48:11.540 What about you two?

00:48:13.940 What do you guys look for

00:48:14.740 in a guy?

00:48:19.060 Yeah, go ahead, go ahead.

00:48:20.040 I've already answered.

00:48:20.840 I said I have everything I want.

00:48:21.960 Yeah, she said.

00:48:22.640 I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

00:48:23.480 It's okay.

00:48:25.080 I want the truth

00:48:25.840 because I seem to find myself

00:48:28.940 in the position

00:48:30.340 where I'm always seen

00:48:31.120 to be the side bit,

00:48:32.720 side bitch,

00:48:33.400 all the time.

00:48:36.680 And I think that's just

00:48:37.540 what annoys me.

00:48:38.260 Do you think you give us

00:48:40.580 side chick vibes?

00:48:41.500 Yeah, I just don't seem

00:48:42.840 to find someone

00:48:43.560 that just wants me.

00:48:44.160 But do you know

00:48:44.760 he's in a relationship

00:48:45.640 when you meet him?

00:48:46.460 No, otherwise I wouldn't go there.

00:48:48.260 Oh, okay.

00:48:48.980 That's different.

00:48:49.880 Yeah.

00:48:50.420 I just get put in a position

00:48:51.540 where I find out

00:48:52.520 like months,

00:48:54.940 in one case,

00:48:55.760 two years,

00:48:57.680 that they've been

00:48:58.940 in a relationship.

00:48:59.880 So I just want the truth

00:49:00.820 because it doesn't hurt me.

00:49:02.760 Like you could turn around

00:49:03.340 and say,

00:49:03.580 oh, this is not serious.

00:49:05.380 And I'd be like,

00:49:06.360 it is what it is.

00:49:07.760 I want to have my fun.

00:49:09.280 But if you...

00:49:09.920 Why do you think

00:49:10.400 they put you in that box?

00:49:12.240 I think because

00:49:12.720 I don't necessarily come...

00:49:16.700 I don't come across

00:49:18.120 like I want to have

00:49:19.100 something serious.

00:49:20.340 Okay.

00:49:20.780 So as much as I do,

00:49:22.760 I'm like in between

00:49:23.620 because I've had

00:49:24.480 bad experiences before,

00:49:26.140 which has made me feel like

00:49:27.380 I don't want no one

00:49:28.100 to live with me.

00:49:29.200 I don't want this.

00:49:30.740 I don't want that.

00:49:31.320 But then it comes to

00:49:32.400 I do feel lonely

00:49:33.520 and I would want

00:49:34.980 that intimacy

00:49:35.640 and that love

00:49:36.420 from the right person.

00:49:38.300 Do you think

00:49:38.940 that's in a way

00:49:39.780 making the mistakes

00:49:41.160 of the men of the future

00:49:42.360 pay for the mistakes

00:49:43.180 of your past?

00:49:45.380 It's kind of like

00:49:46.080 when a guy

00:49:47.320 is always going

00:49:48.560 through your phone

00:49:49.120 because some girl

00:49:49.800 cheated on him

00:49:50.620 in a way.

00:49:52.840 I always say this rule.

00:49:54.060 I won't go through

00:49:54.560 your phone.

00:49:55.020 Don't go through my phone.

00:49:56.400 You see something

00:49:57.060 that's going to hurt you.

00:49:57.980 Don't you think that

00:49:58.640 before you move on

00:49:59.440 to one relationship

00:49:59.980 get rid of the baggage.

00:50:02.080 Heal from one

00:50:02.620 before you go.

00:50:03.280 Don't take one relationship

00:50:04.700 into the other.

00:50:06.400 Can I say

00:50:06.860 that we've all been

00:50:08.800 saying honesty

00:50:09.520 but I feel like

00:50:10.240 personally

00:50:10.620 if you yearn for

00:50:11.820 honesty in a relationship

00:50:13.460 it kind of sucks

00:50:14.800 because if you're

00:50:15.520 going into a relationship

00:50:16.020 being like

00:50:16.360 I just want honesty

00:50:17.380 I need you to be honest

00:50:18.160 with me

00:50:18.340 I need you to be honest

00:50:19.040 with me

00:50:19.340 it's kind of like

00:50:20.380 do you need to beg for that?

00:50:22.440 But also at the end

00:50:23.100 of the day

00:50:23.560 I don't know about you guys

00:50:25.020 but personally

00:50:26.100 for someone that's

00:50:27.560 been honest with me

00:50:28.380 I have felt hurt before.

00:50:29.980 And it's kind of like

00:50:30.740 also that honesty

00:50:31.400 doesn't

00:50:31.820 I feel like

00:50:32.460 there's certain things

00:50:33.180 that you don't have to say.

00:50:35.580 That's true.

00:50:37.000 There's certain things

00:50:38.000 that you don't have to say

00:50:39.520 but if you say

00:50:40.640 it's going to cause

00:50:41.180 some type of

00:50:41.780 some type of

00:50:42.740 you know

00:50:43.380 and also

00:50:45.040 can I say

00:50:46.020 guys that are

00:50:46.840 always honest

00:50:48.040 they're normally

00:50:48.660 always honest

00:50:49.020 about the past relationships

00:50:50.020 and I feel like

00:50:51.240 if you

00:50:52.500 if you

00:50:52.860 if you've established

00:50:53.680 that you guys

00:50:54.220 are going to be

00:50:54.600 100% about

00:50:55.640 everything you've done

00:50:56.540 you're going to feel

00:50:57.640 some type of way

00:50:58.280 regardless of whether

00:50:59.020 that involved you or not.

00:51:00.320 So they've been doing stuff

00:51:01.640 before they even knew you

00:51:02.780 but you'd feel the type of way

00:51:04.000 because they're with you right now.

00:51:05.140 It's kind of like

00:51:05.640 certain stuff

00:51:06.080 you don't have to say

00:51:06.800 and it's not me

00:51:07.720 being secretive

00:51:08.380 if there's certain stuff

00:51:09.060 that we can talk about

00:51:09.620 we can talk about

00:51:10.240 that's going to progress

00:51:10.760 our relationship

00:51:11.260 but if it's about

00:51:12.380 oh like

00:51:13.100 yeah I used to do

00:51:13.760 like this with her

00:51:14.860 and like

00:51:15.620 yeah like this and that

00:51:16.900 it's kind of like

00:51:17.720 I think you're right

00:51:18.660 I don't think women

00:51:19.360 want honesty

00:51:20.060 by and large

00:51:20.680 because then they

00:51:21.500 wouldn't keep dating liars.

00:51:22.520 Yeah you'd sit here

00:51:23.740 and be like

00:51:24.180 yeah I want you to be

00:51:25.160 100% honest with me

00:51:26.260 but if you're honest with me

00:51:27.020 I'm going to start crying.

00:51:28.000 It's the same thing with cheaters.

00:51:28.900 I would rather just cry

00:51:30.680 and be mad

00:51:31.580 and then just get over it.

00:51:33.500 My first reaction

00:51:34.120 I always say

00:51:34.520 tell me the honest truth

00:51:35.860 let the first reaction

00:51:37.020 go over their head

00:51:37.780 because that's it soaking in.

00:51:38.980 But does the honesty

00:51:39.600 progress your relationship

00:51:40.600 is it positive

00:51:41.460 to your relationship though

00:51:42.400 because

00:51:42.720 Yes because

00:51:43.040 they know that

00:51:43.880 there's no point

00:51:44.420 in lying to me

00:51:45.200 I'm not the one

00:51:46.240 you want to lie to.

00:51:47.680 Why did you say honesty

00:51:48.820 when I asked

00:51:49.720 when I asked you

00:51:50.780 what you were looking for?

00:51:52.200 Because to me

00:51:52.600 that implies that

00:51:53.200 maybe you haven't

00:51:53.700 always gotten that.

00:51:54.820 No I haven't.

00:51:56.740 The past relationships.

00:51:59.220 Well like

00:51:59.500 you're a pretty girl

00:52:00.660 you have a million options

00:52:01.560 there's many men

00:52:02.200 that will be honest with you

00:52:03.260 but it's like

00:52:03.780 we pick the liar

00:52:04.440 No I don't know

00:52:05.860 I just feel like

00:52:06.720 they as you said

00:52:07.700 make my funny flop

00:52:08.520 so

00:52:09.040 It's like the liars

00:52:10.880 the lies

00:52:11.440 make you want them

00:52:13.140 but then it's

00:52:13.920 You're attracted to the lies

00:52:15.100 Good for you

00:52:15.820 Good for you

00:52:18.080 But I do want the truth

00:52:20.260 it'd be nice

00:52:21.080 So then what incentive

00:52:22.040 do men have to be honest

00:52:23.180 with us

00:52:23.640 if the liars get laid?

00:52:25.500 I just prefer

00:52:26.300 like if you just

00:52:27.040 turn around

00:52:27.380 and said

00:52:27.620 yeah you're seen

00:52:28.180 talking to like

00:52:29.480 two three other girls

00:52:30.420 and I'm just an option

00:52:31.620 at the moment

00:52:32.060 Yeah but if they

00:52:32.520 told you that

00:52:33.120 then you wouldn't

00:52:34.200 sleep with them

00:52:34.820 That kind of links

00:52:35.980 back to what I said earlier

00:52:37.160 A lot of time

00:52:38.660 and this has been mentioned

00:52:39.940 on Fresh and Fit

00:52:40.700 another podcast

00:52:41.540 women want honesty

00:52:43.360 honesty

00:52:43.700 but

00:52:44.140 as the saying goes

00:52:45.980 they can't really

00:52:46.480 handle the truth

00:52:47.160 because when you are honest

00:52:48.220 they immediately leave

00:52:51.240 which you know

00:52:51.960 I understand

00:52:52.560 but what incentive

00:52:54.140 is there for men

00:52:54.880 to be honest

00:52:55.620 because they'll lose

00:52:56.980 the resources

00:52:57.540 they put into you

00:52:58.420 you know

00:52:58.800 whether it's

00:52:59.220 taking you on dates

00:53:00.020 life advice

00:53:00.760 everything

00:53:01.160 because men help us

00:53:01.860 with a lot of things

00:53:02.480 when we're with them

00:53:03.080 but then you just leave

00:53:05.240 because they're with

00:53:06.020 other people

00:53:06.500 which is most likely

00:53:07.780 the thing that they're

00:53:08.660 not being honest about

00:53:09.620 so as you said

00:53:11.260 what incentive

00:53:11.740 do they have to be honest

00:53:12.580 when they could lose

00:53:13.200 the whole thing

00:53:13.940 they've put work into

00:53:14.660 you must be crazy

00:53:16.020 do not tell me something

00:53:16.820 that you know

00:53:17.300 I'm going to be like

00:53:18.040 yeah

00:53:18.320 I'm going to leave you for

00:53:19.280 it's kind of like

00:53:20.740 what

00:53:21.180 people are selfish

00:53:22.360 I mean do you

00:53:23.300 do you go into relationships

00:53:24.400 telling men your body count

00:53:25.620 well it depends

00:53:27.640 if they're asked

00:53:28.060 like if we're going to be

00:53:28.440 100%

00:53:29.000 has anyone ever asked

00:53:29.480 I've never been asked

00:53:30.320 because

00:53:30.660 I don't know

00:53:31.700 because I feel like

00:53:32.840 any guy that you talk to

00:53:34.120 these days

00:53:34.380 will ask you your body count

00:53:35.600 really

00:53:36.220 not really

00:53:36.940 not anymore

00:53:37.520 maybe like

00:53:38.140 maybe young people

00:53:39.680 not anymore

00:53:40.100 she's right

00:53:43.500 it's a young

00:53:44.020 it's like

00:53:44.640 the younger

00:53:45.060 the younger

00:53:46.020 the guy

00:53:46.440 maybe it's because

00:53:47.660 yeah

00:53:48.080 but I'm just saying

00:53:48.940 if we're going to be

00:53:49.440 100% honest

00:53:50.780 yeah

00:53:51.520 no because

00:53:52.340 I feel like

00:53:53.660 especially right now

00:53:55.160 like a lot of girls

00:53:55.680 are with guys

00:53:56.260 where they know

00:53:56.680 if they said

00:53:57.120 their body count

00:53:57.700 it would end

00:53:58.060 their relationship

00:53:58.740 so like

00:54:00.900 there's in a way

00:54:01.760 we're not always

00:54:02.320 honest with them

00:54:03.000 either

00:54:03.360 because I was going

00:54:04.320 to say

00:54:04.620 like if you're going

00:54:05.140 into a relationship

00:54:05.700 nowadays

00:54:06.220 especially like

00:54:06.820 my friends

00:54:07.460 everybody that I'm

00:54:08.500 surrounded by right now

00:54:09.440 as a 19 year old

00:54:10.520 they will 100%

00:54:12.040 ask you your body count

00:54:13.420 it's one of the first

00:54:14.420 things that comes up

00:54:14.940 what's your name

00:54:15.520 what school do you go

00:54:16.440 what's your favourite colour

00:54:17.020 what's your body count

00:54:17.640 it's definitely the age thing

00:54:19.140 maybe it's the age thing

00:54:20.520 but in this

00:54:21.160 like in this day and age

00:54:22.720 right now

00:54:23.280 that I'm in right now

00:54:24.120 they will ask you

00:54:25.080 with no shame

00:54:25.740 but will you answer

00:54:26.880 that's the question

00:54:27.760 will you answer

00:54:28.560 100%

00:54:29.400 I'll be straight up with you

00:54:30.420 I'll say this many

00:54:31.320 or this many

00:54:32.200 I've never had anybody

00:54:34.140 ask me that

00:54:34.740 older men just don't see

00:54:36.580 the point in asking

00:54:37.420 they just feel like

00:54:38.860 you're going to lie

00:54:39.380 anyway

00:54:39.880 you're right

00:54:40.460 but the last time

00:54:41.920 I ever got asked

00:54:42.720 that question

00:54:43.160 I think I was 16 years old

00:54:44.940 that's a good 9 years ago

00:54:46.380 really

00:54:46.860 wow

00:54:47.560 I did get asked once

00:54:50.940 I lied

00:54:51.860 I did get asked once

00:54:53.020 it happens all the time

00:54:53.740 right now

00:54:54.060 and I did give my honest answer

00:54:55.580 I think with men as well

00:54:56.940 obviously you know

00:54:58.900 you can't look at a woman

00:55:00.420 and be like

00:55:01.080 oh yeah her body count is this

00:55:02.440 but you can get an inkling

00:55:03.820 of whether it's higher

00:55:04.620 or lower

00:55:05.020 and sometimes

00:55:05.640 that is enough

00:55:06.340 to suffice them

00:55:07.640 as to whether

00:55:08.060 they get in a relationship

00:55:09.200 or just have sex with you

00:55:10.600 or whatever it may be

00:55:11.720 I think

00:55:12.140 how you portray yourself

00:55:13.840 is sometimes

00:55:14.620 enough for them to decide

00:55:16.020 would it put you off

00:55:17.380 if their body count

00:55:18.340 was like higher than yours

00:55:19.500 no

00:55:20.460 I'd prefer that

00:55:21.340 if my partner's body count

00:55:22.980 was higher than mine

00:55:23.760 no of course not

00:55:25.600 you know

00:55:26.340 I think men value

00:55:27.560 inexperience

00:55:28.660 whereas women

00:55:29.620 value experience

00:55:30.480 so my partner's body count

00:55:31.900 is of course higher than mine

00:55:32.980 and if it wasn't

00:55:34.100 I'd be like

00:55:34.600 where the hell am I with you

00:55:35.640 if no one else wants you

00:55:36.460 but didn't the young lady

00:55:37.460 on the end say

00:55:38.100 she wanted experience

00:55:38.840 I don't think that

00:55:40.160 I don't agree with that

00:55:40.900 but I just expect

00:55:42.120 that men

00:55:42.980 you don't agree with what

00:55:43.880 that you think

00:55:45.960 it's because of the experience

00:55:47.140 I don't think

00:55:48.020 you don't think women

00:55:48.600 value experience

00:55:49.600 no no I do think

00:55:50.340 they value experience

00:55:51.140 but I don't think

00:55:51.800 I'd be saying

00:55:52.540 oh your body count

00:55:54.620 is less than mine

00:55:55.400 so I don't like that

00:55:56.240 because other women

00:55:56.780 don't like you

00:55:57.620 can I

00:55:58.400 I mean I don't think

00:55:59.060 it's a conscious thing

00:56:00.140 but I mean

00:56:00.960 yeah I don't

00:56:01.800 I don't sit there

00:56:02.400 and think to myself

00:56:02.980 well these women

00:56:03.880 you've got a lower body count

00:56:06.220 therefore these women

00:56:07.100 didn't like you

00:56:07.840 so why am I

00:56:08.860 it's just you know

00:56:09.940 a silent tick in your head

00:56:11.180 where it's

00:56:11.540 you know it's like

00:56:12.440 evolution

00:56:12.860 it's like when a guy's

00:56:15.120 I mean

00:56:15.620 guys will tell me

00:56:16.940 getting verified

00:56:17.820 is the first way

00:56:18.660 to get women

00:56:20.020 yeah

00:56:20.540 because it's a sign

00:56:21.160 of pre-selection

00:56:21.960 that's so superficial

00:56:23.660 isn't it

00:56:24.600 I mean

00:56:25.500 we can't really change it

00:56:26.940 yeah it's like

00:56:27.600 it's like telling the world

00:56:28.520 not to be the world

00:56:29.320 and all in all history

00:56:30.280 like women have

00:56:31.480 gone for men

00:56:32.240 that other women

00:56:32.820 have selected

00:56:33.420 so it's like

00:56:34.040 you could say

00:56:34.660 it's superficial

00:56:35.300 but that's

00:56:35.900 that's always

00:56:36.360 what's happened

00:56:36.980 yeah like look at

00:56:37.820 you know

00:56:38.520 Genghis Khan

00:56:39.500 or the world's conquerors

00:56:40.600 if women didn't like

00:56:41.440 men that weren't

00:56:42.700 if women did not like

00:56:43.900 men that were experienced

00:56:45.080 why do these men

00:56:46.100 that she have harems

00:56:46.800 of women

00:56:47.160 and would just

00:56:47.800 naturally gravitate

00:56:48.360 to him

00:56:49.040 17 women reproduced

00:56:49.960 for one man

00:56:50.560 every one man

00:56:51.240 8,000 years ago

00:56:52.060 you

JustPearlyThings - July 14, 2023

Modern Woman Who is Attracted to Liars

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